Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With my parents, but in a totally diferent reality and time. it looks like the middle ages and our life is not so good. I have told them that I want to live independently and depart from their home. Apparently I had planned to sail away in a raft and it took time for them to accept the idea. Then one day, it's them who tell me I must leave for good, I guess they're upset with my choices. But it's almost night and I realize I will spend my first hours of sailing across the sea in the total darkness of the night and then I realize I did not think this through. I realize I will probably die alone and agonizing and don't know why I didn't consider all that beforehand. So I do leave, but I don't take the raft, instead I go to the docks and enlist with the crew of a big ship that is hiring staff. I go as a maid, to serve food and drinks to men. It is a dangerous position, but the owner and captain of the boat, a rich spoiled kid, fancies me and so he offers me protection. Later on he decides he wants to marry me, which I accept, expecting my life to turn around, because he is much more wealthy. And it does go according to expected, but he is also an abusive jerk who makes my life a living hell. If I run away, I'll have nothing again, so I keep delaying the decision. Thanks to my position as a wife of a rich man, I got to know a princess that is also miserable in her life. Her husband is also a piece of shit. One day, everybody is gossiping about the domestic violence that goes on in the palace, because everyone can hear her screams and desperate cries coming from a tower of the palace. I get closer to try to check up on her and I get to see her yelling at her husband because of some infidelity, I suppose. She seems to be over it for good. I make plans to meet her secretly and convince her to leave with me. At least she has easy access to jewels and money, which can make it easier for both of us and allows to start a new life somewhere else.

Then we are on the run and find a place where we try to blend in and be accepted. I get a job but it is not going well. At the same time I want to embrace my real self and I decide to change gender. I start taking male hormones and with time my features change a little, my voice gets thicker and I am pleased with the changes. My friend/partner asks me something about my lady parts and I mention they are a bit different too and my boobs smaller, but for now pretty much I am still female underneath and plan to stay so for the moment.
Then for some reason I am meeting back with my parents, who already know of my transition and accept it well. But my paternal uncles and aunts are also there (actually the real ones I have IRL, even the deceased ones) and I am afraid of their reaction. Strangely, they all react very naturally, congratulate me for being so brave and ask me if I always wanted it. They sound all very respefcful except for a moment I hear one of them ask my parents about the size of my new dick (which I don't have) and because of a misunderstanding of a gesture my dad makes, they all end up laughing because it is interpreted as if I had a penis the length of my leg. I am really surprised that besides that, they are being very understanding and suportive. Bu then my mom calls me to the side and tells me not to trust my aunt Maria da Luz because she is pretending to be so accepting, but secretly calling it a demonic thing and praying for it to go away.

With Riverstone and NightHawk and I am feeling some pain so NightHawk offers to massage my legs and arms as I sit on something. I am surprised but glad with the offer. He is very gentle and I am melting away with his touch. Riverstone is getting a bit jealous, but I don't care. I caress back when our hands touch and then something weird happens, like one of his arms stretch like a tentacle and goes between my legs, under my butt and reaches my back and somehow he massages my back while I am feeling aroused by his tentacle-arm between my legs.

I am on a train, like the movie Snowpiercer. I am trying to reach some wagon in the front of the train without being noticed by the dwellers on other wagons. Not an easy task and I am trying to do it by swinging on the outside using a rope. But at some point I really need to go through some wagons, so I infiltrate and try to blend in. There is one guy though, who knows me from school when we were young, he recognizes me when I come inside and knows that I am up to no good. I don't know what he is going to do, so I sit in a seat and wait for him to approach me. He does and he puts his hand on my leg, harassing me and making threats that he'll denounce me if I don't obey him. But I don't. Someone enters or exits the wagon and I use the opportunity to push myself into the next one. There everyone is partying and it's noisy and strobe lights flashing, so I feel it is easier to disappear in the crowd, but everyone is acting like zombies and just moving the least possible, while walking in a circle around the wagon. I join in to blend in but then I see an open passage to the next wagon, where the party continues but people look a bit more normal. The music is hypnotic and takes the best of me. I start dancing like crazy, doing really weird creepy moves, like I am possessed or a true zombie from the Thriller videoclip. Instead of going unnoticed, everybody is staring at me as they've never seen anything like it. But they all look mesmerized. Then I take it up a notch and add some extremely sexy moves and the result is like I just showed a piece of meat to a pack of angry wolves. Both men and women look at me as if they want to eat me with sheer lust for me. When the music stops they are literally like "she's mine! she's mine!" and they all chase me. I escape to the next wagon and it is their sleeping areas, with many rooms along a corridor. I hide in one of them that seems to be full of children in bunkbeds. One of the girls wakes up and is scared and wants to call for help, but I tell her it's ok, that I am hiding from actual bad people out there. She believes me and she calms down. Then from the darkness comes a big black wolf with red eyes. Not a stranger demon though. I know him and he knows me. His intentions could be to help me or harm me. At first I am scared because he looks at me like "well, well, look who we have here?" as he starts walking slowly towards me and corners me against the wall. I have nothing with me that I can use as a weapon and I know I'll be dead if he attacks me. But he doesn't harm me. Instead he is determined to help, so he takes my side by side and we tell the kids not to be afraid as we prepare to face the mob of attackers chasing me.

2022 July 4th

Long dream. Left recall a bit late and wasn't sure how to describe some bits. Didn't sleep well.

Fragment:

In the first part I am with H and another couple. We are in some kind of airport place? There's not that many people. I offer to pay for a trip to Germany to the other couple, which might be where they're from. I have some ulterior motive (can't recall what).

(recall gap)

Me and H arrive at some building in a car and then we have to go through some kind of trials and it's a bit like a game? The first notable room I recall is like a theatre hall and a bit of a church. It's kind of low for the type of hall it is. The wood in the hall seems to have a yellow tone like it's all gold leafed. Red curtains.

(recall gap)

Then I'm somewhere else with sibling T. Somewhere more like an industrial complex but on canyons. We try to connect some power things but I'm not sure what they do.

(recall gap)

In a similar kind of canyon area with floating sections and things like that. We are struggling to find the way from one floating section to the underside of an arching canyon. I use a kind of grapple thing and make it. On this small underside ledge, there is a mouth-like opening and clawed tentacles await and look aggressive. I keep myself teetering on the edge and holding on to the rock above with my left hand, using some weapon on my right hand to slowly pick off all the tentacles. My brother doesn't try to jump to the same ledge. After I've killed all the tentacles, I step toward the mouth opening and feel a bit annoyed this is the only way down. I don't particularly feel like getting wet. It looks fleshy at first but as I make my way down its oesophagus the experience seems to become more neon/digital and less accurate.

(recall gap)

In a more abstract place in which we have to run through over these procedural platforms and kill enemies. It feels like a CoD game.

(rest of recall lost)



2022 July 9th

Dream:

I'm outside on a street. I'm cutting down a streetlight post using one of my palette knives. Somehow, I'm managing alright to cut through the thick steel. But as I apply force, eventually the handle gives and breaks off from the blade.

Then I'm indoors at home. I'm asking H to fix the palette knife and saying I need to go back quickly to finish it. I mention that the wires inside could be live and half jokingly H says we could do with the insurance money.

Before that, outside on those same streets. They're not from any waking location. Looks more like from a game. Some house appears and disappears when I look in a certain direction. Before that I'm talking to mom but still in this place. I'm asking her about some hallucinations. She tells me that it could be because of the person I work for(?), inheriting their psychic stresses or something.

Scraps:

Earlier. Something at some kind of hotel place. (from earlier awakening)

V messaged me saying hello on Discord. I reply "Oh, hey" but can't recall anything else.



Notes:
- The oesophageal segment is probably the most memorable part of that dream, as at the time of writing this over a month later it's one of the few bits I can recall clearly, visually. It's also one of few occasions I've had of such nature, I think all of which have only happened in the last few years, despite the fact that themes of "consumption" have always been with me.
-- On spending a bit more time re-reading the dream, some of the rest of visual elements have come back to me. Some of the floating/canyon areas have similarities with some BL biomes.

- I think when I replied to V's message, that dream had ended and I woke up at that time.

2022 July 2nd

Left recall until late in the day. This one might be in DFLN but I'd have to go find it for linking.

Fragment:

I'm outside, night time. I'm with H and we're by some shop or similar place? H works here apparently and he wants to get inside for some reason but it's all closed, so he smashes a window and we get inside. I forget what we do or look for, but I worry about him losing his job for it. (not actually his job)

(recall gap)

At some kind of hotel/casino place. I'm at a sub-level lobby, there are some sofas and other comfort things. There's also a slot machine in a corner by a sofa. I'm sitting on the sofa and try out the slot machine one time. It spins and I win, not the best amount it could pay out, but something like 1837? Then I get distracted by someone like Donald Trump who's in the room with me now, I just know that he apparently owns the casino place. He's not feeling too well and we talk about it, possibly something he's eaten. I either tell him I'll get him some help or get him to come to the nearby lift with me.

(recall gap)

Something in a similar area, likely still part of the same segment. Elizabeth II is here and is taking part in some kind of tour? There's also some sort of activism going on.



2022 July 3rd

Fragment:

I'm at a dream version of a mix of my old home and the house we live in now. It's early morning, something like 4AM. I am down in the kitchen area which has large sliding pane windows that are also doors, rather than latching windows. Outside, I see police officers in the backyard patio area. The patio has stone flags and a garden table and chairs, as well as some planters. At first I dismiss this and presume they are just being thorough and that they are here because of a neighbour.

Then a bit later I'm somewhere else in the house, possibly upstairs, and a police officer lady talks to me and tells me that they have to search our house. I don't understand why and feel a bit reluctant and emotional, possibly getting in their way a bit. She tells me that they didn't want to but that it's procedure as set out by the "central AI computer" which tells them what to investigate or something. I still feel distressed by their searching but feel more accepting of it now that they've told me that's it's just something they have to do because the AI told them to.

Later they're gone and I'm in a version of our bedroom with H; he was asleep through all of this and I'm still a bit distressed as I tell him all about everything that happened.

(recall gap)

At one point I'm somewhere in the USA and I get away from California just in time to miss some massive quakes there. I'm in Arizona now maybe? Here there are very large fires or something but I feel safer. Something about a transit hub and talking to people.