dream fragment

Just a brief fragment today - working on getting back into lucid dreaming.

Myself and a few other people were playing a strange card game where you drew a card from a deck, and then acted out whatever was written on the card. Each card had a "medieval siege" theme telling you to do things like, "Attack the enemy's castle with catapults and ballistas." Sometimes they would also include a little story like, "You are a knight of the castle lord, and your family is starving do the siege."

The only card I remember reading was one I drew from the deck and said something about a harlot inside the city. However, when I tried to read the card, the words kept rearranging themselves on the card, making it impossible for me to determine what I was supposed. I handed the card over to someone else, and they looked similarly confused.

A weird sequence, likely inspired with a chance meeting last night with an old FFXI friend as well as an unrequited mystery from those days as well as several related events earlier in the day.

There was an early sequence where I seem to recall a Starfox-style shmup that I can't place within the context of the rest of the dream.

It seems that I lived in some unfamiliar downtown location, and that members of my old TiamatsFangs FFXI linkshell were getting together in real life to do some sort of video game-esque covert operation. We were to try to get into some kind of factory, the entrance to which was on the roof of a tall building, to demolish...something. We went in, and made our way to the end, but my partners started dying as we got ready to blow up the place. There was some kind of weird monster/alien thing killing people. As I fled out I turned and saw it grotesquely kill two people. I managed to escape back onto the roof-entrance, the only survivor. Except it flashed back to before the operation began. Since I knew what would happen I began trying to prepare an escape route, cleaning up excess ammo, weapons, and items on the floor to make picking up things for use easier, however I became frustrated that my partners were sitting around goofing off instead of preparing for the mission so I gave up and left. On my way home I realized I could use the opportunity of the TiamatsFangs' gathering to track down Jillia. I had already called and talked to her at some point during the preparation for the operation, so on my way home I called her number again but she didn't answer. When I got home to a room that looked like some sort of home office I sat down and started to think about how I could proceed. I started looking through the contacts on my phone and noticed I had a second number for Jillia, so I called it. An older woman answered the phone; I asked her if Jillia was there to which she replied yes. I asked the woman for the location of this phone number to which she replied that it was a place called "The Dungeon". I thanked her and hung up to consult the internet for the Dungeon's location; I remember that the first time I searched for it I forgot to specify the city I was in (when I corrected it, I corrected it with Fargo, ND or 58102, so evidently this dream was supposed to take place in Fargo). I quickly found it online, it was some sort of arcade. I went there; inside I met the older woman I had spoken to earlier behind a counter just inside the entrance. Also there were several teenagers there, I thought it odd that several of the boys were shirtless--and also that none of them were playing any arcade games, in fact there were no arcade games at all. The area was mostly empty except for some furniture and beanbag chairs. I asked the woman if Jillia was there again and she offered to take me to her. As we slowly made our way back I continued to observe the bizarre behavior of the children here. The woman explained that Jillia was a poor girl, having been abused and I recall ending that explanation mentally by adding "by these people" to the end. As we reached the entrance to the basement, I observed a short, ugly-looking girl and a boy getting ready to have sex, and they were eventually joined by a second boy. I went down into the basement alone. At the bottom was a large room, the room was pitch black except where it was sparsely lit by a small television in the middle on the other side of the room. There was some kind of clothing rack blocking the direct path to the television, instead leading a path around the outside of the room. In the far back corner there was a green couch that was very brightly lit. I called out for Jillia and she answered, though I couldn't see her at all. I replied, "Now there's a voice I recognize!" She sounded somewhat paranoid however. She instructed me to go to the couch in the back corner. Standing in the light it was even harder to see into the darkness, but I sensed that she had moved from near the TV to around between me and the door. She instructed me to remove my pants and shirt so I removed my black coat, shirt, and pants and set them on the couch. She then instructed me to go over and play the game. I went over, in just my underwear, and sat down by the TV. There was an old school Sega console there with what looked to be some sort of hacked old school Sonic game. I picked up the controller and hadn't even started playing when I heard the door to the basement slam shut. Alarmed that Jillia may have ran off, I quickly got up and returned to the couch to put my clothes back on and try to follow her. As I was putting my clothes back on the lights came on in the rest of the room. The floor was concrete and the walls were painted a bland white, it looked for sure like somewhere people may be held captive and I recall thinking, "Aw shit, I'm trapped down here." I immediately suspected the bizarre people on the floor above of foul play. When I checked the door, however, it was unlocked so I went upstairs to leave. The teens that were there before were outside in the rain, apparently having fun and taking pictures of each other. I quietly left, trying not to draw attention to myself. About a block away I turned and looked back, trying to think of how I could find her now. The dream ends there.

Side note: with some more effort into reality checking around phones as previously planned, I might have been able to catch this one.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Not a good night. Too hot and my sleep was awful. Hard to remember dreams.

1:06 GMT

Visiting my old neighborhood
A very sketchy dream. I was going on my way to my mom’s house (where I used to live). I remember I had a white dress and a white bag crossing over one shoulder. The bag was full but still I was trying to jam something else inside it, leaving it completely full, close to exploding.
I had to pass by the house of this guy for whom I had a crush many years ago and for some reason I didn’t want him to see me. When I arrived at the top of the slope where the house lies, instead of turning left as I should, I turned right in the direction of this place where I had my extra curricular activities after school. The place was now turned into a library or bookshop. I entered and a shelf of books caught my eye. Now I try hard to remember what they were about, but I only have this vague feeling it was something like esoteric and self-help themed. There was something interesting about this dream but I can’t remember what.

Exhibition of a woman’s head
I was visiting an exhibition. It was about this woman who offered her body to science to be studied and exhibited. This exhibition was all about her head. There were slices of her brain, all of the details of her head in different pieces. Her picture and even a life-sized model of her head. Also it was about her ideas. It was weird but I’ve been to even stranger exhibitions, so why not.

Undefined
Then I got blank. I tried to recall the dreams I had, but all I could write down was: 3 men prisoners on one room and some seduction scene.

3:45 GMT

Animal suffering
I am walking unknown streets on a suburban block of buildings. There are some backyards, with lots of garbage and abandoned lots. On some backyards I find lots of dogs chained, stressed and unhappy. I can hardly cuddle them, because a few are quite angry and threaten to bit me if I get to close. I see close to 20 dogs in this situation on several backyards and it gets to the absurd of people having pandas and some other cute fluffy animals I can’t recall, on chains on their backyards. I just think “That’s it, I have had it!” I am semi-lucid and not afraid to scream my lungs out. So I scream to whoever wants to listen that animals deserve better, that people will pay for being so stupid and ignorant and causing so much suffering to the animals. Then I make a wish that they all open their eyes to the truth and become compassionate and I walk the streets repeating a mantra out loud, to bring some blessings to these people.

Artist’s community
I’m on a building which is both cohousing and gallery for lots of art students. The house is amazing, with all of the walls and corridors full of paintings, sculptures and other art forms. So colourful. And the people living here are very entertaining.
I am sitting in a sofa in a living room on what must be the 3rd floor. There’s more people on the sofa and I am waiting for something, maybe that they take me somewhere else. Then a girl, who looks like a boy, starts flirting me. I realise she looks so much like this girl friend from my childhood, who liked me but bullied me and died with an overdose on her teens. It freaked me out so I decide to leave the place. But not soon enough I realise she is chasing me. I leave the building and enter a cafeteria just in front. She is still on me and sits on my table. I felt very uncomfortable but I decided not to make a big deal out of it and just had my coffee or so until the dream dissolved.

6:50 GMT

Surreal tunnel building
Some longer dream, but I only remember being digging a hole in the sand when I find a tunnel under the ground, where there is a canal with water flowing. For some exotic reason I enter the tunnel and feel the need to reinforce the walls of these canal, that are breaking up in some places. A turtle passes by me on the water. I build this wall and decorate it with all sorts of stuff that is lying around (garbage) – some gnome dolls, some treasure chest, some Christmas or whatever decoration, etc... It gets so kitsch. I then find a necklace with an image of the Buddha. I feel tempted to keep it for myself (I’m a Buddhist) but either because I had this underlying feeling that I’m actually dreaming or because I thought it was real and would be theft to take something that was not mine, I simply hanged it on a higher wall on a safe and clean place, as a way of showing my respect.

Wet and crying on a porch
Another one I can’t remember, but I was on a porch and it was raining a lot. I was crying and my tears were mixing up with the rain drops on my face. My clothes were getting wet. I just remember some reference to tigers, but no idea what the context was.

The only dream I recall from last night involved me eating rotten bread.
I worked on a talisman earlier yesterday, so I'm sure the dream was a religious message from my subconscious.

That's it.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

0:20 GMT

Bus tickets
Can’t remember how I got there, but I’m on some bus stop in the middle of nowhere looking at a map at a ticket vending machine, trying to figure out where I want to go and what ticket I must purchase.
I make several attempts with no success when I hear the bus coming. The problem is I’m not alone – there’s a huge queue behind me and people are getting stressed with my indecision. I just press whatever button and I get a ticket for one whole day to get to the city centre (no idea which city) and it costs me 4 EUR something.

4:20 GMT

Looking for food and playing levitation football
I’m now feeling hungry and I pass by some complex, like a stadium, where there are snack-bars and cafés. I stop at one that announces some type of Italian food but when I actually look at the food it is not at all Italian. But since it is mostly vegetarian and I am vegetarian, I decide to eat there. I ask the lady on the other side how it works and she says I can choose this and this and make a menu. I agree. But then she just leaves. I go after her, asking why she’s leaving and she explains she needs to get something from the storage house which is on the floor below. She invites to go along with her. Why not? As we descend a ramp, I hear someone calling my name.
I turn around and it is this lady I don’t see since I was a kid, from the extra school activities’ place. She tells me I need to take some leaflets with me for whatever place I’m supposed to go later on. It is really crucial, so tells me to write it down. I have no paper to write it down so I repeat to myself I must not forget it, although I have no clue what she is talking about. Then I realise I lost the buffet girl and I am on a football field, where boys are playing football. The ball is coming in my direction and I kick it to avoid being hit by it. It was a nice kick and although they are upset that I’m disturbing their game, they actually liked the kick so they keep throwing the ball at me. I’m getting tired of this game, so I levitate to above the field so they can keep playing. Instead they start throwing the ball higher so I can kick it down again. This new game is fun and I end up doing lots of acrobatics with the ball that amuses them.

Surreal village with flying fish
I’m in a cute village with floor level houses and tiny streets. Something catches my eye. On the façade of one house there’s an aquarium with no glass walls. By the side of the door is just this weird floating water, aquatic plants and fish swimming, holding together without any container. Some tourists stop by a take a picture in front of it. They ask me something about some writer, but I don’t know what they mean.
I keep walking and on another street there are to giant fishes swimming in the air. I decide not to cross under them and move to another street. There I find 2 or 3 dogs. They look friendly and I’m not afraid, but one of them is maybe too friendly and starts coming fast in my direction. I get a bit scared and decide to fly to get rid of it. But the god damn dog jumps so high, that no matter how high I fly to get away from it, he keeps jumping higher and higher and trying to bite my leg – not to hurt me, just to bring me down, but still very annoying.

5:00 GMT

Math class
I’m in a math class at the university and the teacher is talking about integers. Usually I would freak out for not understanding a thing, but I simply thought “I will study it from the books and understand it in no time. No problem.” Outside the class I think that I haven’t yet been to any other class and realise I have no idea what they are or where they are. I thought that if only I had a friend with me we would help each other. But still I was cool, no stress about it.

Sweetheart from school now a violent guy
I met a guy that used to be my secret love in elementary school. I was so happy to see him again and all those old innocent love feelings came back. But when he is all sweet talk to me, a lady appears - she looks a bit Indian – with a baby of 1 or 2 years old in her arms. She is his mother-in-law and the kid is his son. She puts the baby in his arms but he is totally spaced out and does not hold him. She barely has time to grab him as he slides down to the floor. I am so socked at this that I just go and take the baby in my arms, cuddle him so hard, trying to reduce the potential trauma on this baby. I feel so angry at this guy. He then just leaves totally disconnected from all that is going on around him. The lady stays and I tell her to please understand that this guy is crazy and sees the baby as an annoying object. I tell her that the baby is in danger and it is a matter of time until he hurts or kills the baby due to negligence. I yell at her, please tell the mother of the baby that the is in danger and to please keep the baby away from his father. But she also looks like she couldn’t care less, she leaves with the baby and I feel desperate and powerless.


Five star casual hotel
I go head to a hotel where I’m staying. It is late night and there’s nobody around. The dogs of the guests roam free in the hallways, despite the fact that it is a fancy 5 star hotel. I am amazed, because this is allowed. They apparently came from outside and messed up the floor with dirt. So I encounter a cleaning lady that is wiping the floor and for some I feel intimidated. But then I realise that I’m staying at the hotel, so no point of being embarrassed. I don’t feel like going to my room, so I walk around, exploring the hotel and I end up in a lobby, where there’s people comfortably sitting on sofas, chatting. On that lobby I see a huge entrance to what looks like an interior garden, so I go check. When I enter the place I am awed at the beauty of it. It’s a mix of architecture and landscaping that captures my imagination. The shock is so great that I become half-lucid. In front of me there’s a lake with a fountain and beautiful plants and on both sides of it there are staircases leading to an upper balcony that leads to some another lobby and then a concert room. There are some strategic placed square sofas just by the lake and I sit – actually lay down with my legs up and head down. Then I realise they have giant screens close to the ceiling transmitting the concert that is taking place in the concert room. I feel so emotional that tears come to my eyes.

Forbidden love story
I am the daughter of a rich family living on a huge mansion, but I have a crush for this guy that works for us. I meet him downstairs in the basement where my parents never go. Maybe he already knew my feelings, but this is the first time I am clear about it with him. Apparently the feelings are mutual, because in no time we are locked in the bathroom, ripping our clothes off and making love in such a sweet and intimate way.
Later on we’ve escaped to what I think is a romantic haven in some greek island. We’re waking up in bed on small cosy room with a fantastic view to the ocean. I am happier than ever and I tell him I go downstairs looking for some breakfast. The door leads to outside directly and then I find myself in some outside terrace and there’s a door leading to the dining room, which is also small and cosy. Some lady asks me how does breakfast work and I explain it is buffet and tell her how and where to eat. I check what’s today’s menu and I’m heading to the room for shower before eating, when I decide that just by snapping my fingers I can have the shower done in no time. Then I realise I’m dreaming! And I think what to do next. There’s a glassy wall in front of me and as I look to my dim reflection on it the only thing that occurs to me is changing my own appearance, which I never tried before. I think I would like to be taller and have longer legs (Yeah, that simple. I should have wished to become a lion, or something, but didn't occur to me). I try imagine myself growing and it doesn’t work. So I make a mark on the wall of the height I want to reach and by looking at it my legs start extending and I end up with around 10 cms more – not much, but I also didn’t want to become a giant, ok! The worst part is that the bones in my legs hurt like hell when I was growing. Still, it was cool when my boyfriend arrived and I was almost as tall as him. Mission accomplished.

5:40 GMT

Volcano and what to save from cataclism
I was apparently back in Greece on some mountainous area where there was a dormant volcano. A lady was driving me around and she said to me they’ve lived their entire lives close to it and felt no fear. But almost immediately the volcano started showing signs of an eminent eruption. Then everybody panicked! I told people to go to the opposite side of the mountain of that one where the eruption seemed to be happening, as it would probably be safer, but then I thought “Hum, this is familiar. And also such a coincidence. I must be dreaming.” And I became lucid.
I thought about what to do of it and this time I decided to use the dream itself to explore my subconscious. Decided to materialise my home in that mountain and go through the exercise of choosing what to save from the cataclysm. It wasn’t my home exactly but instead there was a hole excavated in the rocky mountain, like a sightseeing terrace encircled by the rocks, and all my books, clothes and other personal belongings were there. I wondered around – books, but which books, clothes but which clothes. Nothing seemed to be really important but then I thought “I must at least save a pair of fresh underwear to take with me”. I then started going through my underwear and there were these cute and sexy lingerie that I started to pack loads of it. Until it rang a bell in my head and I was like “What are you doing? Don’t get lost in the dream. What is this with the lingerie in your dreams?”
Then I realised there was really nothing that worth of salvation. Just me. So I decided to simply absorb that freedom sensation and write it down when I’d wake up. Then I woke up (or thought so) and started writing down the dream. But then my pen that I usually use to write down my dreams was not writing, even if there was some ink on it. That’s when I looked around and saw I was still in the dream. That’s when I really woke up.

23-08-10 3 fragmented stuff. Mathias Amdi paying for a pizza, in a swimming pool talking to a very cool penguin/shark/hedgehog in a pool , one of my friends stroke it and I think it is weird to stroke a soft jelly type animal, it might also have also have been a jelly fish. A female friend of mine discover she has a camera that can film under water and also link up with a receiver to provide live streaming (I am dumping the universal dream sign of technology not working for me period!). I wanna pay for the pizza I give 100 kroner, when the final prise is 85, so Amdi and I talk about sorting it out. Something about an after party we have to attend. Something about the airport? Many women following around, I seem to know them all. Something about me not being able to take on a pair of diving glasses under water.

Some decent dreams, at last!


#960:
Date: August 20th, 2010
Length: 7 minutes


I'm on (a much larger version of) my college campus, it's late afternoon, and we're in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. A good number of people are still alive, as the infection is in its early stages. I'm with one or two other people, and as night falls, we decide to hole up in a nearby building. We end up in a kind of corridor, where we board up the windows, set up makeshift beds, and go to sleep.

Day comes without a disturbance, and we step out of the building. We have decided to head to the East, because apparently there are less zombies there. As we walk, we see many groups of uninfected people, most of them headed in the same direction we are. It seems that everyone wants to get to some kind of museum, where for some reason they hope they will be safe (I think we wanted to get there, too). After walking for a while, we reach the entrance of a large building -- the museum. A large crowd of people is heading towards it, and others have already arrived at the entrance.

At this point, I'm not sure why, but I ditch the other people I was with and sprint towards the museum. However, once I get there, I realize it's closed (or at least, the people inside refuse to let anyone else in). I look around, and see many people sitting down on benches in front of the museum: they all appear shocked and seem to have lost all hope of survival. Instead of staying here, I decide to try to get out of this place as fast as possible, spying a sort of hybrid highway/city street nearby.

I head towards the highway, and the dream starts mixing "reality" more and more with the world of video games. I have no car, but manage to run fast enough to jump on top of a red car. For a while I just stay on the car, but soon enough things starting getting frantic. My recall here is a bit blurry, but I ended up jumping onto many different vehicles, trying not to get myself killed in the process. At some point, I leap onto the back of a sort of tow truck with a crane. Everything is hectic, and all the cars/trucks on the highway are going very fast. The crane swings wildly, and eventually I jump off the truck onto some weird vehicle, I guess a kind of forklift on the front of which 5 people are standing. My landing causes part of the vehicle to dip forward, making the people fall onto the highway. I feel pretty bad about this, but soon forget about it.

After a few moments, everything starts getting even more crazy and confused. It feels like the highway is now on top of skyscrapers in a city. Two Apache helicopters appear in the distance, and start firing missiles straight at me. I dodge them, and shoot down the helicopters (I think with a rocket launcher?). After a while, I think another helicopter appears, and I take it down as well. A few moments later, a monstrous creature manifests itself on the top of a large building, and I fly up to confront it, armed with... a few toothpicks. The monster is a large, sort of round blob/jelly of a mostly beige color, though parts of it occasionally change tint. Out of its inside spawn several smaller, orangeish blobs, which I kill by throwing toothpicks at them, "popping" them in the process.

I realize that whenever I pop one of the small blobs, a sort of jellied eye appears on top of the giant one, and stabbing it seems to be the only thing that harms the monster. I methodically pop a small blob then hit the eye (it disppears after being hurt, each time), until I realize I only have one toothpick left. Instead of throwing toothpicks, I now have to use my lone toothpick as a knife basically. It works out OK, and I think I end up killing the giant blob.


#961:
Date: August 21st, 2010
Length: 5 minutes

As the dream begins, I'm in the passenger seat of a car my mom is driving, and we're entering some kind of parking lot. We stop at a booth, and inside is a sort of Indian guy. We talk to him for a while, after which we drive further into the parking lot. However, a female voice ends up talking to us, and things get strange.

Apparently, we're trying to park so that we can go to some kind of amusement park (Sea World?). The voice tells us that in order to get a parking spot, we need to go through a special process that involves killing ourselves, only to be immediately "reincarnated" in a clone that has a copy of our memories (except those from our suicide). I'm pretty shocked and afraid to do this, but my mom doesn't understand why I'm reluctant, and seems to be perfectly fine with it.

We end up in some kind of hotel, where I end up in a small projection room, watching a movie with a few other people from my family. At the end, my dad explains that the moral of the movie is about suicide, and that it proves that we should all go through the suicide/reincarnation thing explained earlier. I refuse, but everyone else seems to accept (my brother, my mom and dad, and some others I think).

I end up having to witness their suicides, just standing nearby seeing all this happen. I can't really explain this part very well so bear with me, but they end up in their own kind of "simulated dream" -- they all take on different forms, some looking like kids, others just like different people, and they all have this sort of ghostlike transparency to them. They almost seem to be acting out a scene, both aware and unaware of what they're doing. They walk out to a long sort of balcony on the 3rd or 4th floor of the hotel, and all lean against a barrier, looking down at the view below. Soon, a large wind starts blowing (even though this is indoors), and it is supposed to push them all over the barrier so that they will fall and die.

Just as this is happening and everyone is starting to fall, a truck bursts through a glass window on the ground floor and crashes into a pillar, hitting some of the falling people as well. It is being driven by Leonardo Di Caprio, but for some reason at times it feels like I'm in the truck, though I'm seeing everything from above. I don't remember much after that, except that all the people who fell died, and Di Caprio managed to crawl out of the wreckage of his truck.


I also had some dream involving soccer and a red-headed girl I was attracted to.

22.08.2010

Mass E-mailing (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

It was a "messy" night. I woke up a few times, with and without recall. I was very tired and I missed to write a couple dreams... Mainly fragments. I hope my subconscious ends to digest my new stuff on my business. One lucid interrupted by my cat.


Second:

- I was assigning jobs.
- I had to assign like 650 jobs.
- I prepared the MASS E-mailer script and I was going to send like 10.000 e-mails.

Missing dream signs:
- Unknown.

What I would have done if lucid:
- Unknown.

22.08.2010

Kids (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

It was a "messy" night. I woke up a few times, with and without recall. I was very tired and I missed to write a couple dreams... Mainly fragments. I hope my subconscious ends to digest my new stuff on my business. One lucid interrupted by my cat.

First:

- Five
- Kids
- Indoors
- Table
- Learning something.

Missing dream signs:
- Unknown.

What I would have done if lucid:
- Unknown.

I rebelled against my Mom. I don't know what about but I just watched a musical and there was a part where a college girl rebels against her grandma. So I think it went something like that. I even did an RC and the dream is a lot longer but left it for too long before writing this down. So yeah.

1. I'm following my friend MB at her college. She changes clothes into a very pretty dress, then goes into a local casino and sits down to play blackjack. She's doing all right, but I decide to log onto a computer terminal and anonymously transfer money to her account for betting.

2. I kill a childhood bully, Nick E, with an axe in the backyard of my college dorm.

1. It's a boring night at the research station, so to pass the time I lean my face against the window of my room and watch people come and go through the courtyard below. CA goes to do laundry, then John L and Joe C go out to find stray animals. They return to the kitchen, where my dad is present to tell tales from the hometown animal rescue. The rescue clinic was apparently so successful that it was able to "hire" concerned volunteers at a dime a pop. After this I false awaken into my bed at home. I get up to brush my teeth, but I don't spit right and swallow the disgusting toothpaste. When I look at the mirror, I see Chinese characters with subtitle translations that say "That toothpaste was disgusting." (A failed text and mirror RC if I ever saw one)

2. I'm walking through Cincinnati with P at night. We have been shooting at an Astro van with our guns to try and get it to explode, but nothing's been happening. We decide to head into a foreigner-owned restaurant for greasy fast food.

So I woke up this morning pretty let down. I only had two really minor dream fragments:

In my first dream all I remember was putting on some really long razor extension, those black plastic guards, onto my electric shaver and then beginning to shave my beard.

My second dream I'm walking down some sort of hallway to a gymnasium or auditorium. I am with a group of people. We go through these big double doors and are told to grab a bunch of orange benches and chairs and tables to bring back to a bigger gym for some sort of presentation. In the dream I remember asking myself 'Why can't we just present here?' and then that's really it.

I had to work hard to remember those tiny fragments. It was almost an hour after I woke up that I remembered those.

Right before i woke up...I was in front of my house and a couple of men with a needle were trying to catch me. Bobby Bens, his brother shawn and a girl i have no idea who she is, were watching this whole thing take place. they were with a guy in a black suit who was helping the guy who was chasing me. For some reason i wasnt running but i was trying to walk fast away from the man and he was doing the same. So he never caught me after what felt like 5 mins of just deeking and faking the guy out. i felt betrayed by bobby and because he was witht them and then i went inside and told my dad what they were doing and i said i was pissed off. i walk back out the door to go have a word witht them and bobby and the his brother and the girl are in my drive way, in a car. they explain that they were forced to stand there and they were always on my side. then i woke up

I'm pretty sure I just had my first lucid dream. It seemed kind of long at the time but I may only remember some bits and pieces now, gonna try to get down as much as I can. And it's weird, it feels so foggy now. Was a very intriguing experience. There was another dream before it but I want to get down as much of the lucid as I can so I'm writing it first.

I'm trying to recall what it was that triggered the reality check. I think it was that I was laying in bed or on the phone with my wife and she said something absurd (I think it had something to do with her saying she was on her way home from class at university, and I quickly realized she doesn't go to school in reality) that caused me to quickly consider that this isn't real and pull a nose-pinch reality check. I was able to breathe like my nose was just a little stuffy despite the nose-pinch. There was an obligatory, "Holy shit, I'm lucid!" moment. To keep the dream from fading from excitement and to calm down, I closed my eyes and (for whatever reason) pictured a topographical map key. Feeling it was stable, I opened my eyes, did another reality check (marveling of course at how weird it was to be breathing through a pinched nose, and then started wandering my environment. I seemed to be in what looked and felt like my old house on Broadway. I was a little unprepared for my first lucid; I hadn't thought of anything cool to do. The first thing I did was go into the bathroom. I figured since I was lucid I might as well start playing around with how well I could control it. I went to the door of the bathroom and decided I'd summon something on the floor outside and close the door to see if it appeared; I arbitrarily chose cake, and then I sort of glanced up and back down and it was there on the floor, slightly stale and with a big slice missing--I didn't even have to close the door. Happy, I went to the big picture window out front and continued experimenting by swapping between night and day by closing my eyes for a second then looking at the sky. I noted some unusual mixed success, namely whenever I wanted it to be day or night it would literally only be just starting day or night (ie at dawn or dusk). It's a little foggy if there was something occurring between now and what happened next, but the next thing I remember was that I was quickly running out of ideas for things to do, so I thought, "Well, I've always wanted to experience sex as a woman, let's give that a try." So I went back to the bathroom (it's notable that the previous time it was the bathroom from the old Broadway house, but it was now the bathroom from my previous apartment on Oak Street), stripped down, then looked in the mirror. Quick comment after the fact, the mirror worked just fine for its purpose in the dream, but before transforming I started in my normal dream avatar--which is myself as I recognize but much thinner. I was able to transform myself by pointing to the parts of my body that I wanted to transform and focusing on them. I started with breasts, then moved on to my penis. I recall being amused/annoyed that as I was shrinking my penis my foreskin wasn't shrinking with it so I had to do that separate. I started to get a little impatient so I just waved my hand around in front of my crotch and looked up at the ceiling to try to speed things up. Eventually everything looked pretty good, wasn't perfect, and I noticed that at some point I had lost all my body hair without intentionally trying to, but it was good enough for a first attempt. I was trying to decide what I wanted to do first with my new body when I noticed I sorta needed to pee so I decided to get that out of the way first, so I did. Just that was an unusual new physical sensation. There was some toilet paper sitting in the bathtub next to the toilet, so I grabbed some to clean things up a bit (since I was planning to shortly be playing around down there soon anyways); as I was cleaning up the phone rang and I answered it. The voice on the other end was some woman trying to tell me about how there were cloths in the tub that I could use for whatever but to leave them there so she could wash them later (I noticed here that it was hard to focus on what was happening now while I was on the phone trying to listen). I looked back into the tub and the toilet paper had been replaced by dark blue cloth. I shortly regretted flushing a few of them down the toilet. I checked the mirror one last time to see if things were still good and then went back out to the living room. I'm think there may have been somewhere here where I experimented with my new body, but if so unfortunately I don't remember it. Eventually there appeared in my house (as though she was familiar with the place) a thin, light-skinned black girl. Delighted to find another person to help me experiment with my new body, I asked her if she wanted to have sex with me. She seemed apprehensive; focusing on her I first removed her clothes then, noting of course that she too was female and thus would make proper copulation difficult, made her instantly grow a penis. She wasn't very amused by this, however, and she angrily stormed off to the basement. Shrugging, and once again bored, I decided to turn my attention on mentally recreating graphic-update remakes of old school video games I love in my mind for entertainment. I started with what I assume was Final Fantasy 6, though thinking on it after the fact the action doesn't match up properly with the game (though I specifically recall Terra's appearance). At some point this was interrupted with my wife calling, when she called what had been the video game scene taking up my entire stream of consciousness suddenly appeared as though I'd taken it out of full-screen mode on my monitor on my computer at my current apartment. I even had my headphones on, so I had to remove one of side of them to expose an ear for the phone like I usually do. I was annoyed at the distraction but answered the phone anyways. I don't remember the contents of the actual phone message, but I note again after the fact that it started to break my lucid concentration. The last part I remember now was going down to the basement where I found the black girl (who had now been transformed into some sort of small Pokémon-like creature) cuddling on a table with another small Pokémon-like creature. Saying, "Oh, so you'll have sex with him but not me!" and did my own storming-off-angrily upstairs and back to the living room, where I waved my hand and did some sort of mental slash across the table they were lying on and killing them both. My memory of this dream ends here, though when I woke I seemed to think that there was more non-lucid dream that came after this. I awoke just prior to starting this journal entry and did a quick reality check that passed, officially ending my first lucid dream.

Note to self: be wary about answering phones once you're lucid; it seems to help break lucid focus. In fact, I'm going to try to make an effort to start reality checks whenever answering and/or ending phone calls. I'm going to try to remember that the next thing on my agenda for practice when a dream goes lucid is controlling the environment; this time I kind of let the environment do what it wanted around me.

There was a dream sequence either prior to or leading up to where it went lucid. There was a long prelude to most of what I remember, but the bulk of what I remember was that there was this stretch of interstate that I would drive down as though I was in a GTA-ish sandbox type game and try to score points on this segment of highway. The segment of highway was kind of a long straight section with a curve off to the right. I'm thinking I may have lost more memory of this dream out of excitement for the lucid one, so maybe more will come back to me later.