lucid

COMMENTARY NON-LUCID DREAM LUCID DREAM

Asleep: 11:45
WBTB: 3:26, 4:46, 6:25, 7:15ish
Awake: 8:30
Tech: MILD, WBTB + MILD, WBTB
Dreams: 2
Lucids: 0 (read on, I had an experience that is hard to fit into a category)

1. Fragmentary recall - I am at the restaurant where I work part-time. While my usual co-workers are there working, there are also beds (or at least 1 bed?) in the restaurant. I remember speaking with my manager at one point about being hungry and eating and she tells me that I cannot sit at the usual section to eat because it is still to early in the night and we are busy. Nevertheless, she gives me the "early section" that is usually empty before the others. I go there and there is a bed. It is in the far back corner of the restaurant. Around 8:56 dream time (I thought we closed at 9:00pm), I decided I needed to make the bed so I could leave? I remember struggling to do that, and it was taking much longer than I thought so I didn't think I would finish by 9:00. (Memory Blank) I then got desert which was a huge plate of cookie cake served with ice cream and ate it on the bed while talking to 3 of my co-workers. I kept seeing their eyes look towards the bowl so eventually I went and grabbed three forks (or spoons?) and let them have the rest. One guy, Joey, seemed to eat the rest of the cookie cake in one bite.

2. This was either a lucid moment or very vivid HH. I'm not an expert on the terms so maybe someone can clarify. I woke up as T was leaving for work and used the restroom. Then I laid down and did MILD. I was tired and started experiencing visual HH. Suddenly, I'm walking out of a restaurant. I see my friend Kyle having dinner with a girl. Although we make eye contact and I wave, he doesn't seem to recognize me. After I exit the restaurant, I'm walking through the parking lot and I see my best friend from high school and his girlfriend. They also don't seem to recognize me. This strikes me as really weird and I think to myself that maybe this is a dream. I try to do an RC but I feel sleep paralysis and this attempt at movement causes me to "wake up". After writing tags for this "dream", I tried to fall back asleep and I entered sleep paralysis 4 times. It seemed like if I stayed still for 20 seconds I would enter full paralysis. SP always freaks me out so each time it happened I struggled to move my head/neck until the paralysis broke. Next time I will try to stay calm and enter a dream.

Notes - Regardless of whether that 2nd "dream" was a lucid dream or vivid HH, I'm still really happy. The other lucid dream I had came as a result of "just knowing" I was dreaming. This experience involved reasoning and questioning reality, deciding I might be dreaming, and attempting to test my state with a reality check! This occurred after a MILD attempt, so I think I will stick with MILD It seems it does not give me insomnia anymore when I do it "lightly" and in a relaxed way.

1. I was spending most of this dream helping my boss out with her daughter who has very bad depression issues. I saw her son, daughter and husband in this dream even though I have only seen them on a couple of occasions in WL. I was doing a lot of work and moving furniture and boxes around. We live in Florida but her children are in Indiana. I was with her daughter and at one point we walked outside and there was snow so realized we were in Indiana and that was what it took for me to become lucid. I was so excited I stopped what we were doing and I started playing in the snow and throwing the snow at her. She looked at me like I was crazy and then she joined in and we had a snow fight. I had a blast because I have never been in snow and it felt so real, so I guess I officially can say I saw snow and played in it. Woke up.
I ended up back in the dream and I was in Florida with my boss again. This time her children were both here and there was a lot of drama going on. Her daughter answered the phone and the Director (someone who has been gone a long time-lucid) left her a message that her mom needed to call him immediately about a red credit card? That message somehow translated to my boss that she was going to be fired and was sure of it. She was devastated and crying. I told her this is just a dream. She stopped her crying fit looked at me cockeyed and said "I was waiting for you to figure that out"! I was so shocked it woke me up. That was not what I expected to hear.

2/15/17- My boss came to me and showed me photos her daughter sent her of the snow flakes that look like little stars on her mittens. They were beautiful and several of them. She told her mom she had so much fun playing in the snow. Another coincidence?

These are some rough notes I threw together. I may try to clean it up later and add some pictures.

Finish 30 minute WBTB and BTB around 430am *Several times I think I woke but didn't look at phone/time in order to give me best chance to keep going back in. Finally do look at phone at 637am and am dumbfounded at amount of lucidity and scenes and time lucid! Some waning of lucidity but often quickly recovered and seems like at least 90% of the time and experiences that I remember were lucid.

Letter tags: HMS HM_? House mall stars hands 2nd m? 6th letter tag? May be one of the scenes below.

Seems not more than 10 minutes of SSILD and I start with, what I told myself during one of the FA's, must have been an NREM lucid. It was short maybe 1 minute and very basic mostly dark but interacting with a woman. It leads to multiple FA's each one different. Several were in a busy house with lots of kids and a few adults. Hands clasp from IWL in bed become hands in bind by girl trying to free my hands. House party like. Outdoor patio girl, wife voice, both can have me! Later indoor house gathering (one of several house scenes) with an older lady still beautiful and I tell her I'll make her young again and morph massage her face and it works in the end with odd results along the way. When I finish I see a female, her niece it seems, with her back to us. She has long curly black hair and I gently take her and lead them both to a bedroom. Mall ladies sex and after a while of that I say I need to do the TOTY, car one sounds good. I try to form a car inside the mall main way but it never becomes solid enough so I look toward an exit and see a whole street of cars parked parallel, not the typical big parking lot you'd see outside of a surburban mall. I see a maybe late 80's Honda that has seen better days but it was the first car I really focused on. I open hood just from front of car but do reach my finger in for the typical final release lever under hood and open hood, it stays open and I reach in and grab the whole engine block and all and rip it out easily like picking up an empty cardboard box. I think about breaking the window with my elbow but I am able to just open the door. I decide keys will be under the visor and yes one key on small key chain tab. I stick the key into the on position and start driving like a maniac. Very quickly transitions from asphalt to dirt trail on a hillside area that brings back memories of bmx trails. I get to a top look out point and see 8-10 guys in bathing trunks just below me maybe 20 feet. Maybe they're heading to a hidden beach below. At first I guess a couple of them near the back of group look gay but as they gather it doesn't seem like anything sexual, just a bunch of guys who may even want a lone guy to beat up on. No worries though, this is my dream. I call down to them to look up at me and shoot off into the sky quickly. It becomes night and I float in the sky and marvelling at the stars. They look fairly normal but a beautiful experience none the less. Visuals fade after a minute or so and I spin in the air, still a black void, so spin few more and a FA. / some busy outdoor area at night sexual with several girls. Also at Mall and at house scenes. Unbelievable! I just keep going from scene fade to scene fade after early part where it was from FA to FA. Also Vegas casino hotel with wife she found which hotel, nice but great deal, lucidity fading, maybe gone for this final scene before waking. I am forgetting so many details. I was setting reminders in the new scenes and I have whispy memories of what those reminders were but still trying to grab them fully - I'm sure I haven't caught them all. Lots of solid, vivid dreamlets including snow falling on a couple in dark brown or black winter long coats.

I'm walking around a strange area with three archways that each lead to a huge room with different weather depending on which arch you go through.

I realize I'm dreaming and remember the ToTM "Ask a DC for a waking task of the month and try to complete it after waking". I look around and see several DCs. I approach one and tell them that this is a dream. They don't seem surprised. Then I explain to them the idea of the ToTM and tell them that they need to give me a waking task. They just look at me strangely. I don't think I'll make much progress with them, so I leave them and go to the next nearest DC. I repeat the process and they again don't seem surprised when I tell them it's a dream. When I ask them for a task they say "how about flying?" I explain to them that that isn't possible for me to fly in real life and ask for another task. They refuse. Then I wake up.

It has been a couple months since I have been able to focus a lot of effort on lucid dreaming. I have had some lucid dreams but nothing worth sharing. I am graduated from college now so in theory I should have plenty of time. However, the stress of finding a job seems to be just as bad as actually being busy. lol

I think I will make it my goal to fly to the moon. I definitely can fly fast enough to get there now. I just have to get past some mental blocks. I might try just crashing into the moon next time. Might be easier than landing.

02.13.2017
09:00 AM

Moon (DILD)

It is the first day of a college biology class. I had to order three books for this class and only two of them have arrived in the mail yet. That's probably okay though because there is rarely homework in the first week of a class.

Later that week I realize there was an online quiz that I forgot to take. Shouldn't hurt my grade to much though. When I arrive in class I see everyone turning in short essays. Now my grade might be pretty bad and I am getting stressed.

I am at home and I have a box in the mail. I pick open it up and its the thirds book for the biology class. Wait, I don't have a biology class. In fact, I graduated last semester. I am dreaming. I do a nose plug RC and the breath goes through my fingers much more smoothly than normal. That is because I am lying on my side when I normally sleep on my stomach. I look at my hand and I have 6 fingers. I smile and make my hand have a dozen or two fingers. I stabilize and remember my goal is to fly to the mood. I walk out the front door and look up to see the earth where the moon normally is. I guess I will fly there instead and see what life is like there. I jump up and fly. I block my view of the moon with my hand and the horizon leaves me. I look at the earth moon but it fades away. Dang it. I see it again in a different direction but it also fades away. I wake up.

After going back to sleep I had a non lucid that jumped between the perspectives of a few dream characters sort of like a novel. It got interesting when one of the dream characters started remembering my memories from the other characters. He/I then got caught up in the drama of the other characters who where his acquaintances.

D1 - Im in a land where people go on adventures and quests for things. I return with some others and find at the border a trading post which is a rectangular hut staffed with some peculiar characters. Me and my buddies decide we could set up our own trading house with are own characters (one had a strange bird I remember and a large grey wizard style hat, but she had glasses and a wide smile).

D2 - At the end of a holiday I am returning and am lumbered with the task of taking some bizarre photos of a cliff side residence. I decline as it would mean hanging out of a helicopter on a wire. Due to social etiquette
we cannot completely escape and are dragged into a social gathering on a hillside mansion, looking out over the sea. It is a blindingly sunny day and all the guests (spanish?) are dressed in their finest. I and my daughter have to prepare a giant cake. The icing itself is exquisite, old fashioned cars and buildings being made out of the white icing.

WBTB
D3 - I am across the road from a doctors office and want to get in without being seen. I become invisible and slip into the waiting room. I am trying to get something and crawl across the floor but have to play dead as they are so close to me they could hear me breathing.

2nd WBTB I am trying to get lucid again
D4 - All I can manage to get is a little lucidity as I try and manifest someone in my dream. Only her foot appears Oo poking out. As I lay on some sand.

D5 - Trying again, the woman I am trying to make appear. Appears but is in cartoon form. I am a lumbering ape or monster next to her graceful form.

1. I was walking my dog which wasn't my WL dog so (Dream) when I noticed a hole on the side of the road maybe 6 inches wide but looked deep. As I went to pull the grass back to see how deep it was the grass lifted up like a carpet. Very lightweight and it made me giggle at how real it looked. Knowing this is a dream I let the dog go and pulled back the carpet where the hole was so I could see what was there. It had a flap that was a door to stairs that went underground. I thought this was pretty cool and decided to explore. I know the water table isn't far down there in WL but my curiosity got the best of me. I start walking down the stairs and they keep going. It is very damp and cool in the hole. I get to the bottom and I walk along the ground when I see another set of stairs going up. I walk up the stairs and out into someplace entirely different. It appeared to be from the past, or that was what my intuition was telling me. I crawled out to what appeared to be a tall grassy area with mountains at a distance. I stood there and looked around and didn't see anything that would tell me where I was. I was about to fly around because I wanted to explore my new secret land when I was woken up by dog kicking me.
2. I was dressed up going to some kind of event my daughter was going to be having and for some reason was meeting people at a hotel to help her with something. I recognized and old friend from years ago, RK he was friends with my ex and we got along great. He was so happy to see me he gave me a hug and was telling me about his wife and daughter that were both new since the time I knew him. He was there to help my daughter as well. We got in the elevator with about 10 people. It was a huge elevator but it still felt packed. There was a window in the back and I am afraid of heights so I stood near the front. Most people got off as we got higher but we were going to the top which was the 49th floor. There were about 4 of us now. When the door opened I felt I was still moving. Everyone got out and they went to look out the window to see the view. Normally when lucid heights don't bother me but this one I was not and I was terrified. It felt so real with RK there and he looked like I imagine he probably look these days. As they got over to the window I could feel the entire building tip to that side and I grabbed on to the wall in fear. RK laughed and said it is fine, that's what happens and he ran to the other side and I could feel it tip slightly to that side. Perfectly normal he said. I was convinced. We had our meeting with the hotel owner who was letting my daughter do her event there and RK is in sales and he was getting extra perks for her while she stayed here. I was impressed. Then there was a cocky guy who was wearing a business suit and had his chest puffed out who kept trying to get my attention. RK introduced me to him and he gestured in a way to watch out for him. I already could tell what kind of guy he was, so no worries. Then we all got in the elevator to go back down when the cocky guy opens the window and sits in a seat by the window. I was afraid enough without a window open. There were bars for him to hold on to. RK then goes and sits next to the guy and tells me to come with there too. I said no thank you that is not safe. I was shocked there would be an open window in an elevator. As we went down the wind got so bad. It was crazy. I could hear flapping and swirling of the wind. All of a sudden I heard and saw the most horrifying thing. The cocky guy was there and poof he was gone with the most awful sucking sound. RK was sitting there looking dazed. I yelled for him to hold on and I could see his hands slowly grab onto the pole. He didn't show any emotion at all. His hands were grasping softly then swoosh he got sucked out too. I was devastated as I literally watched him get sucked out in slow motion. Felt real. Then I was teleported out to about 1000 feet from the hotel and I was walking toward it...that was when the aha moment happened that this was a dream and I felt so relieved but as I was understanding that I was walking closer and could see the bodies of the two of them falling to the ground like windmills. Head toe head toe spinning. That confirmed it was a dream. No one is going to spin like that. Whew I was relieved and as I got to where I was in front of the hotel I saw people leaning over their balconies throwing purple flower pedals down on them. Now that was strange.

#503 - DILD - Feb 10, 2017

I am in an ice cream shop that V and B opened together. I was surprised they quit working at my job and opened their own business together without telling me. I was hurt that V didn't even talk about because I thought we were better friends than that. Plus, how could B even go into business with V? I seemed like such and unlikely paring. I also felt a little jealous they broke away and got to open their own business. It's something I've really been wanting to do. I decide to put all these feeling aside and decide to just be happy and supportive for them.

The shop wasn't open yet but I began to envision what it would look like when the shop was actually open and suddenly everything transformed before my eyes. I notice a soda fountain and a coffee bar. I think this is a good idea. The decorations of the place look so nice and inviting. The lighting is just right and feels like home. I have some sense that what I am seeing wasn't real, but maybe a glimpse into the future. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder how I am seeing all of this so vividly, but I don't become lucid just yet.

Some really ugly rednecks come in get into an altercation with another guy. I call the police but we all decide it was just some misunderstanding. The police call me back to talk about but I forget the phone conversation when I see my sister at a booth with my dad. I want to avoid them and start to sneak out. I think about why I want avoid them and for some reason this makes me become lucid.

I decide that this might be a good time to confront some feelings so I go back and make my way to the table where they are sitting. I figure I'll at least see what they have to say. Suddenly, my way is blocked by a partition with a window. I see them eating ice cream but I can't get to them. There is a door to my right into a small hallway. As I enter the dream turns dark and I see strange glowing patterns in the void. I fight against it and continue to make my way forward expecting the dream to refocus.

It was me that lost focus and I lose the dream. I get a visual about our cat having multiple pupils in one eye. I thing about having so many cats that have died. I worry about our puddy cat. Wake up.

I've had a number of lucid dreams throughout my life and childhood that I can vaguely remember but there are some that stand out more than others. Most recently was a bout of extremely closely placed lucid dreams over the course of about 3 months. 4 of which I remember very vividly. I'm not sure what was going on in my waking life at the time that made me more lucid while dreaming but hopefully I will be able to track down the answers as I try to regain this ability.
Throughout this period I gained lucid control progressively. Beginning with simple flight as I was panicking while falling from an airplane. Moving on to a more controlled lucid flight, though also triggered by the panic of being chased by a gang. Finally I was able to trigger my lucid abilities simply by stopping and taking detailed note of my surroundings, leaving behind the previous urgency of narrative in the dream. Turning my head around to examine features of my environment like architecture and textures seems to snap me into a controlled lucid state most of the time.
I have encountered entities that seem to want to pull me out of this state however. Sometimes they try to distract or pull me back into the original task.



The Man in the Hat.

I am very excited to share this dream as I believe it is the most important lucid dream I have had so far.
Once again, in this dream I became lucid by my own will without panic, simply by breaking free of the narrative the dreamworld had imposed on me. I began by looking up. Large panes of glass high above revealed bright blue skies and clouds beyond the ceiling. And to the left. A long single-file line of people that I had just been a part of, but was now apart from, slowly shuffling off around a corner. To the right. Beautiful blue mosaics of glass tiles lie beneath a shallow pool of running water, sparkling as they are lit by atmospheric skyskapes from beyond giant walls of clear glass. Many Aimless wanderers mill about and around the pool, some standing still in the water and some dragging their bare feet with no expression. Then down, I turned my attention towards the beautiful glass tiles beneath my feet. I noted their texture on my bare skin and stooped to examine the white grout between tiles.
When I stood up I was fully lucid. With no delay I immediately began to exercise my powers. I already knew I could fly if I wanted to so I decided to try something different this time. One of the Aimless was walking slowly in a straight line away from the pool area. I willed her to change direction and she immediately obeyed, making an about-turn without resistance or even recognition that she had done so. What else could I do? Could I make these people more physically attractive? They were all so dull. Could I make them take off all their clothes and walk around naked? No on both accounts. Perhaps they didnt realize who I was and how much control I possessed over them. A show of power seemed necessary. I walked up to a man and willed him to stand still. He obeyed and I levitated in front of him 8 feet above the ground. He looked up at me but with no expression. More as a joke to myself, I told him in a casual voice, "I am your god. This is my world. I can control you." No reaction still. I did this to four or five other subjects with the same results.
Now this is the interesting part. Over near the edge of the pool was a man in a tailored suit and brimmed hat I hadn't noticed before. He was reclined lazily in a chair reading a large manuscript much like a newspaper, his leather shoes propped up atop a short plaster wall. I couldnt see his face beneath the brim of the hat. I moved over to him and levitated, passively repeating the same words I had to the others. "I can control you. I am your master." He ignored me and I repeated it again. He spoke without looking up. "This is not your world. It is simply a product of the random firings of your brain. You don't have control here." I argued with him trying to force my will on him and make him get up or at least look at me. He spoke again without looking up. "Look around you. Do you recognize anything?" I looked around the room and saw a shade-less lamp on a glass shelf that I hadnt noticed before. I recognized it as a lamp I have in my house back in the waking world. As soon as I recognized it, I was immediately banished from the dream. There was absolutely no break in my consciousness between lucid dreaming and waking. I was simply awake in my bed instead of awake in the dream.

In most of my lucid dreams I feel like there is some sort of force keeping my powers in check. As if there are lines I cannot cross or actions that are not allowed. I wonder now if the enclosed glass room in this dream was meant to keep me from flying freely as I have in other lucid dreams. I have had a sense too that some of the people I encounter in lucid dreams are more like Enforcers that I have little to no power over, while others are more like part of the ambiance, the Aimless fillers that hardly notice me. I've never had someone eject me from the dreamworld the way the Man in the Hat did though. Is the dreamworld really another realm with its own laws and rules? Or is it simply a product of random memory sequences held together by a loose narrative as the Man in the Hat told me? What does it mean to break that narrative and begin acting on our own volition? Regardless, I will keep pushing the boundaries and I will definitely be looking for the suited Man in the Hat.

1. I was walking down a dirt path with tree shading it and it was beautiful, up ahead I saw something but couldn't make out what when I was struggling to get what it was out pops the adorable DC that I have been seeing now and then in my dreams (dream sign for me). We both seem to be in our mid to late 20's again. We have a very strong connection without speaking much. We hug and then we walk on the path holding hands, when I see the most amazing tree ever. It had the thickest branches I ever saw (hmmm that just clicked lol) I wanted to touch the tree because the bark was so smooth. I ran over to it so giddy and started to climb onto the lower branches which were very low to the ground. Perfect climbing tree. I climbed about half way up and was amazed at how wide the branch was. I laid on my back and looked up amazed at how high the tree went. Then up pops the adorable guy. Immediately I was feeling frisky and started to undress. He looked shocked at first but then he came over to help me. Can't go into details but it was so much fun and the tree was so soft. I am always amazed at how strong the senses are in these dreams.

2. At an event for work when I had to go to the bathroom and all of the stalls were taken except one and it was just so bad I couldn't go in it. I kept waiting for someone to come out, when I kept seeing this cute little girl peeking under while her mom was in there and I was waving at her. Then I finally decide I can't wait, and go in the nasty one. I flush and grab a wad of paper and start cleaning the seat but it has clear jelly stuff all over the seat and I wipe but it just moves around. I keep cleaning and cleaning then put the paper on the seat. I get done and come out and noone is left in the bathroom lol. Figures I wash my hands over and over in disgust. Eeeew. (How does one go from a great sex dream to a nasty bathroom dream?)

3. I was at a train station in line to board (never been on a train in my life) I get in and sit down and the train is full. This was a train ride from hell. It was a long scary ride with lots of happenings, when we passed another train and I was trying to look at the faces and focus in on them as we passed. I was trying to convey my fear. I saw several people looking at me and was able to get eye contact, but then I saw Hermione from Harry Potter (dream) lol. I was able to telepathically send her a message of what was going on with this train, someone was stealing it and it was out of control. Hermione was able to teleport onto the train and she was now sitting 4 seats in front of me. One lady recognized Hermione and asked if she could give her larger breasts. She did. Then we had people lining up with things they wanted to change. Smooth skin, hair color, sex change, one girl had tiny little arms and she wanted them larger. I stretched them out but they didn't look natural so Hermione had to come up with a spell for that. We even made old people young again. It was so much fun we totally forgot about the fact that the train was out of control.

I’m at home, where it’s pouring raining outside, to the point that the entire driveway and sidewalk outside my front door is flooded with about a foot of water. I’m still by the front door though, waiting for an important package to arrive. While looking outside, I see an open and plugged-in laptop out on the lawn, and worry that someone left it there in the rain. After a while, the water starts to recede a bit, so I can finally get outside to get the package from the mailman. I can’t walk too far out though, as there’s a ton of grub worms all over the sidewalk, and I don’t want to walk across them barefoot.

I’m riding in a train, but then me and some other guy jump off at this futuristic train station-kinda thing. Apparently, it’s a “sorting station”, which sorts cars that are heading to different destinations. One train comes in with cars going to two different destinations (marked red and green), and without the train stopping, all the green cars are disconnected and roll down another track, where a second train is waiting to take them to their appropriate destination. I’m really interested in the technology behind this, but I’m cut short when a police car shows up, responding to a call about 2 people jumping off the train. My accomplice grabs me by the arm, and we hide in a small alcove just off the train tracks.

I’m at work. My boss is trying to hook up some network cables, but the only available wall plug is near the ceiling, so he’s walking precariously on the edges of the cubicle walls to get to it. I watch out of curiosity, secretly hoping something funny happens. As soon as he plugs it in, however, there’s a bright flash, and suddenly everything’s back to how it was a few minutes earlier. I initially think I just had some weird deja vu, but I realize that everyone around is looking around confused like it affected them as well. The entire room seems a lot brighter though, and I wonder if some major catastrophe happened. There’s suddenly another flash, and all of us are sent back in time again. It happens a couple more times, but each time some of the cubicles are missing and the walls look more run-down. After the 5th or 6th flashback, there’s a loud screeching noise, and all the lights cut out. There’s a moment of silence as everyone tries to figure out what is going on.

Suddenly, the phone right next to me starts to ring, which scares me at first. I slowly pick up the phone. There’s a ton of static on the other end at first, before a demonic voice tells me that I’m now cursed and will die in 7 days. I start getting angry at the person on the phone. “Do you think this is f***ing funny? Do you think you can f***ing scare everyone in this building for giggles? Well listen here, you little s***. I’m not afraid of you. I’ll never be afraid of you, because… because I’m dreaming!” I hang up the phone and turn to see some guy who seems to emanate darkness from his body. I apparently have to fight him, but the fight scene switches to a 3rd person view. It looks very much like an old Game & Watch game I used to play, where you have to move up and down on your side of the screen and try to shoot energy to hit the person on the other side. After a few seconds, I end up getting hit first, which causes me to switch back to first person, where I am absorbed by darkness. As it surrounds me, I feel an intense pressure pushing all over my body. It’s hard to explain, it feels sort of like the sensation of water pressure when you go really deep in a swimming pool - but much more intensely painful. I’m almost consumed by it, but I remember I am dreaming, so I tense up and unleash all my energy at once. Rays of light flow out of me, cutting through the darkness and relieving the pressure on my body. Instead, the light takes over the guy I’m fighting, and he falls to the floor in pain. I stand right over him and start taunting him. “You thought you could stop me with darkness? I am the light of the world… or at least the Italians.”

I’m in my high school gymnasium. There’s a ton of little kids and parents around to watch some kind of wrestling event on a large projector screen at one end of the gym. I’m helping out with getting stuff set up, including fixing one of the large fluorescent bulbs. A maintenance guy who’s helping me lowers the light via a cable from the ceiling. Instead of replacing a bulb though, we have to replace some weird thing that looks like a large spherical clump of soap suds. Apparently, the sudsy “bulb” is made of some special material that reacts with a gas that’s output from the light socket, producing a bright light. The reaction also makes the sudsy material super light, which makes it stay in the socket without any restraint, as long as the light is always pointing down. I go to adjust the “bulb”, but I accidentally knock some pieces of suds loose. The maintenance man looks at me disappointed since I just ruined that bulb, but then pulls another one out and gently puts it in place. I watch as it starts to glow, and soon have to turn away because it’s so bright.

I knew I was dreaming but I don't know exactly what triggered it. I found that I'm running away from someone. I was enjoying at first but the fun it was not fun anymore because of the guy chasing me. It's night and I thought to myself that it was kind of bad that some guy is always there in my dreams chasing me. For now, I lost him. I continue to hide by flying and running. I now find myself in an open view. I'm seeing that the view was incredibly vivid. A young kid told me that I am in China. It was very beautiful. The sunset stood up to me. This looks even realer than real life. I asked bit more questions which I can't exactly remember to which the asian kid answered. I'm off to run away again cause I knew that guy was gonna catch up again. I think before I flew away, saw him. I'm doing the green lantern's way of flying and took off. I never thought he'll catch up that fast...

My only problem with this guy is I can't beat him even if I confronted him. I'm now on a dark place now. I'm hiding on an apartment's balcony. I'm seeing the coated guy really close and I hid. While hiding, I thought that this guy was Agent Smith from the Matrix. I also thought that all I had to do is to think that I am "The one" and challenge him. I got confidence and confronted him. We're fighting and I was able to block most of his shots without effort. I ended up beating the hell out of him. I'm not sure what happened next.

Saturday D1: This was quite a new sensation where dreams are concerned for me where smells from my real life carried over into my dream. I was asleep in a dark house. I don't remember being asleep in a dream before either. I could smell this God awful smell that I recently have been smelling every day in waking life which will make sense in a moment. It was a cat but not Meesha who always smell lovely. She is always exceptional clean for a cat because she is constantly grooming herself, lol. For a person w/ allergies that is quite a bonus! I get up from my own bed in the dream & go after it & I see a silhouette of a man step out from behind a doorway. I was lucid from the get go because of the smell. 2 cats, one black & one gray & white have been coming into my house IRL through Meesha's cat door & have been eating her food. They both smell like this smell & I can tell they are actually in my house while I'm asleep. It's overwhelming that this smell is is triggering lucidity in my dream. I open my eyes IRL & I'm in fucking sleep paralysis. The smell is way worse now because my fan is on in my room. Meesha's cat tree is right outside of my bedroom door where her food dishes are & my fan in across from her tree aiming in my room. I need lots of air when I sleep. We actually have 2 of these oscillating fans on at night. I'm pissed off that the cats have come in & I can't move. I want to wake up Mike but he doesn't get much sleep as it is & I can't move anyway. I can see a cat from my bed & I decide to just relax & wait it out. As soon as I did this I was able to get up & ran like the house was on fire. I start screaming at the cat & my voice was low & guttural like I was possessed. I chase it out the back door. I can't believe Meesha didn't see this cat cuz she was on the top of her tree. She looked at me like I was crazy & Mike didn't even stir at all.

D2: I fell back into that damn dream w/ the stupid dark house again! I'm of course lucid again cuz that ominous smell is still in my house & in my dream. Now the house is occupied by an old woman who has a crazy amount of cats! That smell is dominating the dream because it's so pungent so everything that's going on is like white noise or back ground noise. I just know that one of those stupid cats has come in again! I need to wake up so I just do. And then like in a movie everything happens very fast. I sit up & Meesha is jumping down off her cat tree & is giving chase so I jump out of bed & cheer her on! I don't know how Mike could sleep through all of this. I remembered what time it was the first time which around 6 & this second male came at 7. The first was the black & the second was the gray in white. Both males. I don't know where they live but this smell was unlike anything I've ever encountered. I'm guessing they are holed up somewhere that isn't a house occupied by people. I now have a pattern of time to work w/ which is good. I haven't had them come back since though except Mike said he ran one off when he got up after all of this a couple of hrs later & had run one off. Hopefully we have made a strong impression or else I'm going to save up to buy a motion detector light for the back porch to deter them.

D3: For fuck sake I'm back in this stupid house again! So now I get to be lucid again whether I like or not. But the world has gone to total shit & Mike & I need to get our shit & get out of this house & to safety so in some weird way I'm just happy I don't smell nasty cats! I'm welcoming whatever difference this dream has in store for me & I can't think of another scenario right now because I've had a rough night already. I do get to change the stupid house by making it more a residential house though which was nice it though it was temporary. I tell Mike we should put Meesha cat in her carrier cuz it has a shoulder strap. Best one I ever bought! She goes right in which is actually funny because IRL we are contemplating how to trick her into getting in it to go to the vet, lol. I know why I'm having this dream so it's almost a practice run since my country (US) is going to shit. It doesn't look like in the movies that's for sure. I think, oh fuck I forgot my fixodent which is now in my real life "go bag". We are outside & someone hands me a set of dentures that feels weird but then is okay. That was weird. We are walking along & there are all kinds of ppl now including witches & vampires which I chuckle at cuz the book I'm reading has them in it. We are all being hearded onto a ship. It's really big! It's a spacecraft of some kind. I'm in awe because I'm thinking I understand all of this. Recently IRL Mike & I saw one & have been talking w/ ppl from MUFON. How crazy is that?! We are scrambling to find our quarters & the ship is under fire. This dream all happened at a very fast pace! Protocols are being yelled at everyone & the whole dream just starts spinning out of control & I wake up.

These are the dreams I could make some sense out over the last week but the last few days I have been so busy & those dreams reflected that with things that were hard to explain.

D1: Aliens took away our air on this planet & made us unable to reproduce. Somehow I was chosen the be the breeder for the human race which was odd. I told them I couldn't be because I no longer have the anatomy to do such a thing. This is a dream sign trigger for lucidity since this is something that is very personal to me. They also chose some other women that I would be in charge of that were also to me a baby maker for them. I was informed that the typical human reproduction won't matter in this case. Then handed us these green wand like stick which was about 7 inches long. They had these bumps on it & the whole thing glowed. I had the feeling that these were eggs of some form because we were to insert them in ourselves during a process where they would be fertilized. We were angry about the whole thing but then they gave us pure oxygen around our bodies to breathe. Unfortunately it was what seemed to be stale air. Meesha woke me up.

D2: I chained right back into the dream. Now we were being led through the streets & up a hill through masses of ppl. Tubes were waiting for us at the top that look like water slides. We were to impregnate our selves & as we slid down the slide an alien that looked human would fertilize us in the tube some how. Our strategy was to kill the alien some how as we went down the slide. One woman failed & I had to kill the alien in her tube.

Next day: Every race of ppl are immediately in my line of sight. I notice all are represented. The world is over as we know it & ppl are living in this burnt out city of rubble. I found that I was happy that the initial race war accompanied w/ crazy ppl had not exceeded in wiping out whole races of ppl yet there weren't many families intact where I was. Mostly they were ppl who took in a child here & there. I walk through to see what my surroundings are. I can't help but become lucid at the sadness of it all but I just want to see more. I now know I can't be hurt but it feels like a cautionary message to me. I can see a child here or there running through the streets playing near the rubble in their clothes which are basically tattered rags and I see a lone child sitting on a front stoop of a burnt out brownstone on the stairs. A particular group of children are playing near this woman who is making me very nervous. She has something that looks like a M80 firework with a thick yet rather short green fuse that is about 2 1\2 inches long. She is showing customer after customer how her fuse is special & slow. She would light & the person was always trying to not look leery & I'm just kind of in shock looking at this woman do this repeatedly. It seems insane because I know this is no typical M80 in this scenario. She lights it & we wait, it takes a while for it to even get to the M80 but right before it gets there she pinches the fuse with her finger & snuffs it out & then pulls the fuse out of it. The person then buys it from her. This happens over & over. I don't remember ever being lucid like this looking at someone repeat a process like this. It seemed strange on so many levels. The more she does it the more I start to get nervous. I just know one of those kids are going to get hurt running around her kicking up dust. Finally a man walks up & she does her thing & it blows up. She is now gone & so is the man. A child is laying on the ground all mangled but alive. I pick him up & no one is helping me. I go into a nearby apt building & finally a man takes him from me all panicked like he may be the one who was caring for this child in this new world. I realize I had gotten up in my own lucid dream & that this of course was not real but I just can't shake that moral duty of mine even in a dream. I then turn to my right & I see my first husband & run to him because he's the only familiar face in this dream & hug him. Even though in real life I don't want anything to do w/ him but I know if the world went to shit & I came across him he would take care of me so seeing him wasn't that odd. I thought maybe he was there to help make sense of this dream but I no sooner see him than I look to my left & see this man w/ what looks like a popcorn machine. But the front looks like a giant gumball machine chute. Kids are getting cotton candy out of it. I know what my dream means now & I choose to just wake up.

I'll continue another day in a separate journal entry.

A very fat man is talking to an old, Italian Godfatheresque character. It looks like they are negotiating a deal. The Godfather suddenly takes out a penknife and proceeds to slice the man, separating his thoracic cavity from his ribcage with clean precision. As the fat man lay on the ground dying, another man comes to finish him off by strangling him but a parade of children march between them, stopping the act. I wake up momentarily and begin counting, "1...I am lucid dreaming...2...I am lucid dreaming...3...I am lucid dreaming..." and slowly drift back to sleep. After several moments of HH, a new dream scenario begins to unfold:

I am back where the killing took place, but this time within a prison of concrete walls and corridors. I walk the length and breadth of the prison, focusing on the cement pattern in the walls. I keep putting my hand on the walls, trying to push through. Although I am seeing my hands, I have not done an RC yet. Yet I keep thinking, "If this were a dream, I could go through these walls..." My hands then begin to meld into the walls, like soft butter. I realize I am lucid. I quickly spin around and leap into the air and begin to float around the prison. As I levitate, I try to remember my dream goals and go over everything I want to do: sex, time travel, etc. but the dream suddenly darkens and I begin to lose control. As I fade out, I hear a girl's voice tell me that the counting method is a bad technique. Dreamt 1/21/2017