lucid

This was on 4/11/17, tuesday, day off
Last night bed 9:15pm
GPC - 2:40am
WBTB 3:20am
GM and sofa 4am
LD time estimate - 45 min

Started to feel my body getting heavy when my cat started grooming herself leaning against me. She circumvented my anti-cat snuggling device (folded blanket separating my space from hers), so I had to move my hands and move her away a bit.

When I got to head rush, it was incredibly strong. I feared that my head may burst. I also knew I'm still few minutes away from falling asleep and wasn't sure how that will work. When I got into a dream, I tried to stand up, but couldn't. Kept trying, but didn't happen.

1.

I started walking around this cartoonish town. I realized I'm looking at myself from 3.person view and thought that finally I'm realizing it, after so many people mentioned this on the forum. I'm thinking that I may be controlling my avatar while I am still not fully asleep.

Scene changes and I'm walking around another, similar cartoonish town. I wonder why it's a cartoon.

I finally fall asleep. Have at least 2-3 very strong head rush transitions throughout this about 45 min lucid event.

2.

I come to a quarry and by the left wall, there is a bunch of all kinds of dinosaurs, walking in my direction. I notice them, but don't investigate closer.

3.

I'm walking through a different town. My coworker walks by, with a cup of coffee in his hand. I start calling him by name and talking to him, but he doesn't respond. I ask him if he want's to do the "thing". He says nothing. So ... uhm... I kneel down and, you know the rest. Let's just say, he was VERY anatomically correct.

4.

I start hearing a song Forever Young and I remember how much I love it. I see the band playing it in my minds eye, so I start climbing up the side of a building to get to their apartment. On my way up, I hit some kind of a long metal latter and it makes a huge noise. I kinda feel bad.

The song is awesome. Playing so loud, correct words, perfect music. 2-3 guys are playing keyboard or drums and a guitar. I wonder who the band is, and I see a poster behind them on the wall, that says DOORS. Somehow I doubt that's them.

Somewhere in the middle of it all, I remembered to stop and recall the previous parts of the dream. But there just wasn't much detail to remember. Just aimless walking around.

I am already flying around aimlessly in a non-lucid dream, when suddenly I realize I am dreaming. I look over and notice a female DC, whom I do not recognize from WL. We start exploring the scenery together by flying into a dark office building and wandering amidst the empty corridors. I am giving her instructions on what to do in this LD. The lights abruptly come on and I discover we are in an office break room, with a sink, cabinets and a refrigerator. The female DC is sitting on a shelf near the sink in a dish of what appears to be lemon-scented soap. Because I plan on going down on her, I ask her not to get soap all over her ass. She hops off the shelf and we leave the kitchen. As we leave, I take her arm and pull her into me, saying "This is what I want to do first." We begin to kiss and undress each other. I gently lay her down on the kitchen floor and mount her. But at the moment penetration I suddenly hear the sound of a toilet flushing. I realize this is my wife coming back to bed after using the bathroom. This jolts me and the DC girl fades beneath me. I can't stabilize and soon awaken. Dreamt 3/7/2017

Invading the country side

I was flying out in some country side farm land. I spotted a house and landed there. I walked into the house like I owned the place. There were some kids in a living room watching TV. They didn't know who I was and I summoned a guitar and started playing. The kids didn't seem to care. They're parents walked out and didn't know who I was. Apparently I had to leave so I asked them for a ride into town.


Hall

I was in a town hall or something with a bunch of people for some lame arts and crafts event. Asuka is a blond girl who walks by t random times and gives me a hug. The third time she gives me a cupcake and I tell her I love her. She walks away again to make her rounds of... not sure what. For some reason I have to leave.

Did he wake up?

I was in the back of Jame's truck from work. I guess he is driving me home. He says he knows a quick detour. He then drives up to a KFC or something and the lobby doors open and he literally drives through the restaurant. I look at the other customers dining but they take no notice of the strangeness of a pickup truck driving through the restaurant.

As the truck is about to exit the place it halts and stops. I get out and there is no one in the driver's seat and later the truck vanishes.

I become lucid while walking home after a missing segment. I realize I'm in chilliwack walking near my old house. I try and ignore the hand counting thing and summon a cup to hold in my hands. I keep walking but the dream goes blurry about a block away from home and I wake up.

Spoiler for REALLY long side notes:

Well today is lucid dreaming day, and unfortunately, due to time differences and class scheduling I will be unable to catch the live-stream, live, though I still am considering watching it in post. But I see it a very appropriate day to address the elephant in the room. My lucid dreaming career has been on hold since late February, and this was due to the horrendous failure of my previous lucid dreaming method, my meditation and chart method.

I suppose calling this a dreaming ‘Restart’ is not really an appropriate title, outside of matching up with that of my art thread, that title is somewhat inappropriate. I do not plan on simply discarding 6 years of lucid dreaming experience but rather doing what I told myself I would do on the off chance that my meditation failed; that being to step back, analyze what went wrong and come up with a new approach. Since meditation has proven itself a very poor means of self improvement in my case (though perhaps my particular techniques and lack of experience were to blame.) this is to be my means of analysis and composition of thoughts and coordination of how I shall carry on. That is to say that thisis much more for my own sake and self help than it is for any of you to read into it, though it is available to anyone who is faced with similar dilemmas might find merit in this writing. Though do expect it to get a bit dense and rambling, as I will break a lot of things down and describe in detail a lot of things that may not necessarily be particularly important.

My Previous Attempt(s)

I suppose to figure out what went wrong with my previous attempt I must break down what exactly it was that I did in my efforts to lucid dream. The self-derived technique worked on the principles of DILD and meditation. The first thing I recognize is that this technique is self-derived. Generally techniques taught on this forum are taught to a general audience and designed to work for most people. This only became self-derived as I began to take what I had learned from others on the forums and morph it into something that I thought would better suit me. Whether or not contorting a tried-and-true technique just because you think your modifications will suit your particular psyche and thought patterns will improve or lessen your results in lucid dreaming is up for debate, and probably varies.

Regardless, the technique, at least in its final incarnation set three main goals to occur every day:

Two meditation sessions, one in the morning and one in the evening. I broke this down more in my post on the meditation thread but the key detail was that each meditation had two distinct parts, a portion in where I cleared my mind and a portion in where I would either attempt to focus on maintaining a stillness of mind or focus on analyzing and finding solutions to a particular problem. Generally I focused on problems or ideas centric to waking life in the mornings and things related to lucid dreaming in the evenings, on the probably correct notion that meditation could benefit me both in waking and dreaming life.

Documentation of reality checks, with the aim of improving awareness. I would carry a small notebook and document each reality check. Generally this was done in a quantity over quality mentality, attempting a few very thorough reality checks that would help to raise my awareness and thoroughly confirm my reality rather than just clipping a clothesline pin to my nose and hoping for the best.

And the third being a rather straightforward consistent sleep schedule with it never ceasing to amaze me how much better I can recall dreams and how much easier I can become lucid when I go to bed at a reasonable hour.

These three focal points of my technique came together in a chart that documented my own work ethic along with a column for a star ranking system that would rank the results of each night on a loose scale from one to five, with one star being brief non-lucid recall, and five stars being an ideal night of a long lucid dream or a chain of shorter ones. I always found lucid dreams difficult to quantify because dreams are by their very nature an almost purely qualitative experience, so ranking in the system is generally based on my own judgement rather than a hard rubric or set of rules.

Before that there were earlier evolutions of this technique that involved a chart. At one point I attempted progressing (or regressing) as the case may be to a written dream journal having heard some say that writing your dreams by hand helps you to think more about what you’re writing. The dreams were documented along with basic information like listed above, star rankings, and a chart was kept in the back of the dream journal. But I honestly find that I can type about 80 words a minute, and my dreams often have complex scenarios or details that require explaining for the dream to make sense. The ability for text on a computer to be cut, pasted and moved around is also helpful when you don’t recall the dream linearly; you don’t have to rewrite everything.

And before that, the previous six or years were spent with my interest moving in and out of lucid dreaming, following to some extent a pattern. I was always striving to achieve a vague end goal of living a dream life, having adventures and completing some rather lofty lucid goals. With each attempt I would have some epiphany believing I had finally figured out what was holding me back, go in full force, learn a thing or two but eventually get frustrated and/or burned out and step away from it for awhile before being drawn back to it again, a little bit wiser and more mature but with the same determination and vaguely defined goals. I want to make a note of how vague my goals in lucid dreaming really are most of the time as I think this might be important to cracking the problem at hand.

What makes this unique is it seems for the first time the cycle has broken. For the first time I have no idea what direction or drive to give myself that might convince myself that my goals are attainable. (Last time, my big epiphany was that hard work and dedication were more important than a refined and complicated technique. I was frustrated with five and a half years of failure and decided I wanted a technique that was a blunt instrument of force and change rather than a sharpened and precise blade.

I feel as though it might have been the chart itself that led me to fail. The chart gave a grizzly and honest insight into how poor and scattered my efforts into lucid dreaming really were and how much shorter term cycles of waxing and waining interest had an effect, but never fulfilled its goal of motivating me to clean up my act and showing me how my effort nets positive results. The fact that on the nights that I did see lucidity or at the very least heightened recall were often not correlated with the days that I had the most success in completing my three daily goals wasn’t helping me to stay motivated.

Learning Skills

It always seemed to me like lucid dreaming was like learning any other skill. I’ve developed other skills alongside lucid dreaming. (In fact I began my Taekwondo lessons within a month of learning of the basics of lucid dreaming, and I sometimes suspect this caused the two skills to become all mixed up in my brain and resulted in my dreams involving a lot of martial arts sequences.) After all with other skills I’ve been able to, with a fair bit of self discipline, get myself to a respectable level.

In the six years since I began lucid dreaming I’ve been in Taekwondo classes, and I am now preparing to test for a black belt. Though in Taekwondo I get enjoyment out of going to almost every class, except the odd day where I’m really distracted or focused on something completely different, and the progression of belt ranks has not been my focus so much as simply becoming more disciplined and developing fitness.

More recently, upon starting the first incarnation of the chart and meditation method I began a jogging routine. I wanted to develop better cardio (and lose the baby fat that taekwondo had did a number on, but not yet managed to finish off.) And while I saw myself improve in cardio very quickly with my running routine, lucid dreaming stayed stagnant, even though it was getting daily effort and focus on my part. I began to enjoy so much going out jogging, seeing myself improve. It became a sort of self-powering positive force. You realize you are improving and then get more motivated and keep pushing yourself to work at it.

But lucid dreaming, at least in my case, has not been improving like learning a normal skill. If anything, I would say my ability to lucid dream has depreciated in the six years since I began lucid dreaming. I can recall my first lucid dream. (The one involving meeting Manei on the beach.) More clearly than I can recall any dream in recent memory. Now I realize that is basically trapping me in a negative loop in where I recognize that my ability to lucid dream is depreciating and therefore is reflected with even more muddy dreams. This might be what sets it apart; lucid dreaming’s dependence on your mental state and focus on it. I can go for a run when I’m angry or emotional and still improve; I just focus my anger into running and I still see improvement, but, at least in my case, non-positive emotions of anger and self frustration cannot be put in any useful way towards lucid dreaming.

I remember seeing a post on another forum in where they talk about Jedi and Sith meditation in the Star Wars cannon in where Jedi meditation is all about letting go and being at peace in everything you do, and Sith meditation is more about using emotions (generally anger) to motivate you toward your goals. When I’m developing an athletic skill, being focused on anger is great, much better than being peaceful. The problem of course being that in lucid dreaming, you can’t be emotional, or your dreams will reflect that emotion.

I know I’m leaving a vacuum as to what exactly motivated my lucid dreaming efforts as far as emotions go. This is important and I’ll come back to it.

Learning from the past

As I introduced this post, I am not discarding past knowledge, but rather de-programming and deconstructing my ways of thinking and attempting to troubleshoot the problems. There already seems to be a lack of motivation and proper goals set. In my other pursuits, my goals have always been clear cut. Jogging? Run a 5k in 22 mins. Taekwondo? Get a black belt. Art? Senior gallery show at my college, and start a webcomic. I don’t want to say that setting a very clear cut goal for myself will magically fix everything, seeing as none of my past “epiphanies” really seemed to do that. Now I recognize I’m about to dive headfirst into a mental minefield of schemas that will probably destroy my ability to lucid dream in the near future, but I feel that doing so is necessary in the long run for fixing the problems that lay ahead.

I will call these epiphanies since they seemed like such things at the time, they seemed like such massive revelations that would quickly resolve everything and tie up all loose ends, allowing me to attain the level of lucid dreaming that I had always wanted.

In learning to lucid dream I’ve programmed myself to think that certain things will greatly effect my odds of lucid dreaming; in where they probably will since I think that. I begin to think that having or not having one particular technique or thought process is a make-or break for lucid dreaming, and that not having it will mean I’m screwed. Really, what I just wanted to do was break down my previous epiphanies and see what merits or faults I think they hold with my present state of mind. I’ve already broken down that most recent epiphany that “There is no secret technique, only hard work and dedication.” and why it ran into problems.

Henceforth I present my previous epiphanies and realizations in roughly reverse chronological order.

-“It’s all in your head”

I recall coming up with and subscribing to the notion that lucid dreaming was something that was all in my head, and that to be good at it, all I simply had to do was believe that I was good at it and choose to do it, since there was no skill curve, and it really was just all in my head. Though this didn’t seem to work and was actually built upon by my hard work philosophy believing that with concentrated and regimented applied effort I could attain regular lucidity.

Continuing on this, my though process was very centric on the idea that lucidity is not a goal but more like a choice. I began feeling this way because at the time, I was having a lot of semi-lucid dreams and beginning to develop an underlying feeling that I was constantly lucid, but simply not choosing to bring that lucidity to the front of my mind. I still feel like this logic is present in my dreams; that I always have the potential to become lucid yet sometimes lack the mental fortitude to think clearly enough to bring that lucidity to the forefront, and that I need some kind of enhanced willpower and awareness to actually beak through from subconscious lucidity into true lucidity. The feeling and situation I am in when these dreams arise is somewhat difficult to describe, but I could somewhat equate it to sitting in a really long boring high school math class and daydreaming. You’re not really mindful of your reality and probably not really mindful about what you’re daydreaming about. You’re just daydreaming and allowing said daydream to go wherever seems most interesting.

I remember being in this state of mind often equating lucid dreaming to breathing rather than a learned skill like I would later on. I thought to myself that breathing is something people do all the time, but most of us don’t really keep ourselves aware of it; just like dreaming. But you can very easily become aware of your breathing to where it becomes a conscious action (You, reading this, probably just became aware of your breathing.) But you can’t be mindful of breathing all the time, it takes your focus away from tasks at hand, and to focus on another task as well as being mindful of your breathing takes a lot of focus. That perhaps best describes how I felt I was grasping at lucidity.

-Creativity and Happiness vs Logic and Reasoning

This epiphany is unique in that it was the only one that actually came to me within a dream, in where a dream character told me to focus on creativity and happiness rather than approaching dreaming logically.

I came up with several interpretations of how to apply this notion. One was to begin drawing dream related artwork. Another was to write “fake dream journal entries” as an applied visualization exercise and to be utilized for motivation. Another was just simply to remain optimistic in the face of adversities like garbage dream recall and muddy or nonexistent lucidity. Needless to say none of these philosophies or techniques helped as much as one might have expected.

Obviously this notion was reconsidered by the time I got to my chart and meditation method, a decidedly logic and quantitative focused way of focusing on lucid dreaming.

-Something in the dream is holding me back

Generally when there is some kind of problem or issue people like to have a scapegoat. Someone or something they can peg the problem on. In this case I began thinking that there was some barrier or entity within the dream world that was holding me back.

This first manifested itself as a complex series of dream plots involving my dream guide requiring me to complete some trial in where upon completion a “weighted belt” that had been steadily mounting would be removed and I would be able to lucid dream to my full potential. Of course once this extremely contrived dream plot concluded and the weighted belt was supposedly removed, I saw no long-term effect to my ability to lucid dream.

Later I would engage in a second dream plot in where some entity had to be defeated in order for me to be able to lucid dream at my full potential, but that had a similar result; no long term effect on my ability to lucid dream.

-Engagement and active thinking is the key

I once built my lucid dreaming routines and goals around the idea that being actively aware and trying new things would hold the key to attaining regular lucidity. This was one of the times that I was arguably way more active and social on the forums, and most active in learning about lucid dreaming in general.

I subscribed to the notion that dreams generally reflect what you are actively thinking about at the time, getting the idea that when you are learning or interested in some new knowledge you tend to dream about it. I remember when I was first becoming invested in things like a new TV series or video game and finding it overtaking my dreams. Yet older media that I am already familiar with tends not to make many appearances in lucid dreaming. Given that, if I could continue to steadily engage myself with new lucid dreaming concepts and keep fresh material flowing, I could continually lucid dream.

-WBTB/WeeBTB is the key

There was a time that I was very successful at lucid dreaming and closer to my goal than I had ever been before. This was when I became heavily invested in using the WBTB and WeeBTB techniques. People talk a lot about WBTB and DEILD being great, and they are, but the were not what I was looking for to achieve nightly lucidity, simply because it’s very easy for me to get burned out on these techniques. One can only wake themselves up at 4:00am on so many mornings before they become burnt out or their sleep schedule begins to alter so that a 4:00am awakening results in you being awake and staying that way.

-The Symbol

Remember this? This was my attempt to cheat at lucid dreaming. This project was a titanic failure. The premise of this was simple. To engrain this symbol into my mind as a trigger for lucidity and a reminder to reality check by placing it around in the waking world. This meshed nicely with at the time I was living in the dormitories at college and needed a means to mark what was my property.

Though disappointingly the symbol only appeared in my dream once after about three months of the project, and that was only because in the dream I was semi-lucidly making an effort to explain the nature of the project to my dream guide.

-MILD is the key

The first time I cycled out of lucid dreaming, I came back in with a renewed interest in MILD, thinking that autosuggestion would help. Like my symbol method, this meshed nicely with something new that had been introduced into my lifestyle at the time; Driving. Driving afforded me long stretches of time in where I was alone in the car, and these were perfect for reciting mantras as nobody else was around to judge me repeating “I am a good lucid dreamer; lucid dreaming is easy.” a dozen times, and the time was hardly useful for any other pursuit.

-+-

So by stepping back and observing this what do I recognize? The first thing is that there is a cycle of waxing and waning interest in lucid dreaming that is something I do not experience with my other interests and hobbies.

I am very reluctant to jump to conclusions as that may just mean another cycle of attempting something only to find my results and motivation diminished and slide into another low point, but I am tempted to say that regulating my motivation and applied effort to attempt to stretch from cycles of high and low activity to a continuous ongoing regimen of moderate activity might be a potential solution, though the option is on the table?

The second thing that I recognize is that these repeated attempts all entail increasingly complex and muddied philosophies, and means to achieve them. This would correlate nicely with the increasingly muddy lucidity, and blurry line between lucid and non-lucid dreams that has developed over time.

And the third thing that I recognize is that I am closed - mindedly regarding all of these as failures. Though I still tend to carry over and consider strong suits from previous attempts at lucid dreaming and attempt to bring them into a new light. Whether this means I am learning from my past mistakes or just repeating them over and over with minor variation is difficult to say. Sometimes I mourn the fact that for so long I have struggled with this goal of achieving nightly lucidity, and feel as though if I were to be able to start over today, knowing everything I know now that I would easily succeed, given how much effort I am applying, and I’m tempted to blame my past failures as building a very powerful and engrained negative schema around myself in all directions.

In essence what I feel I am doing is giving up and quarantining techniques because of a failure. Once I’ve seen that a technique can fail, it’s all that I focus on, and therefore the technique becomes useless, and slowly but surely I’m losing confidence in every conceivable lucid dreaming technique, and constantly raising the bar for myself in terms of the amount of effort I feel as though i need to put in in order to be successful without actually increasing in skill or drawing any closer to my original goal.

So what is the goal and why?

So I think thus far I’ve done a pretty good job of outlining the issues that I’ve had over the past six years with attaining nightly lucidity. It’s not the most through direction and there are places I could go into more detail if I had the patience.

And as far as goals go, it’s a pretty vague one, since a lucid dream, as I’ve stated is difficult to define and the line has become a bit grayed with time. Early in my lucid dreaming career, I found it very easy to determine if I was lucid or non-lucid. But that line has slowly become very blurred. Many of my non-lucid dreams feel vaguely lucid and many of my more lucid dreams are muddied with non-lucidity.

For the sake of argument let’s say that nightly lucidity entails a more clear lucid dream. But that goal is kind of empty. It’s like saying that you want to be fit enough to run a mile every day, and not have to be in recovery so long as to you can run that same mile at the same pace the next day.

I’ve always stated that I would focus on attaining nightly lucidity before I began seriously turning to a list of lucid dreaming goals that has frankly become a bit monstrous over the years, for I did not want to dedicate an extended stretch of time to getting myself to a very high level of lucid dreaming only to run out of things to do a few weeks after attaining nightly lucidity, but my goals have become lofty and also muddied and that is why I find it very important for me to “restart” and set all of these goals aside. Obviously I’m going to take the time to outline and list them here at some point so as to not forget them, but I have to recognize that as of right now I am not actively attempting to attain any of them.

Moreover attaining nightly lucidity or at the very least coming close to it would offer me a much more scientific means to explore the intricacies of the impacts of techniques. I had planned to do this once I had achieved a stable schedule with my chart and meditation method, that after perhaps about a month of preforming the routine regularly I could scientifically introduce variations (over a two week time period) and possibly refine the routine overtime, with the problem being that the base routine netted detrimental results.

Once again, on the vague and muddy nature of things, I maintain a self awareness of how long and rambling this post is. This speaks as a testament to how complex and difficult I view this problem (if you could even describe it as a problem.) as. If I could describe things more simply, then I would. Simple problems need simple solutions, but as a problem grows increasingly complex, as this one has, and there is no clear or definite answer in sight.

In the next few posts, I would like to break down my goals and motivations, as they are something that I do not have the time or patience to cover right now. Goals are key to understanding why nightly lucidity is so desirable and motivation is a talking point that I would also like to cover since, not to add to this already messy and complex parable that I have laid out, but I believe it is pertinent.

You know it's bad when you can't do much more than array your problems and discuss what happened.

Random dreams from the past couple of weeks.

I was in the show Naruto (An anime I have not watched and hold very little interest in watching.) Now I've seen somewhere IWL that there are two Narutos that exist at the same time, an old one and a young one, and both of them were attending school, albeit at different grade levels. The focus was on the young one who constantly got bullied by the other students because his hair was yellow and apparently that was an unlucky color. He was standing under a large oak tree outside of a building that looked like a small elementary school, maybe only big enough for three or four classrooms on the inside, with the other kids around him.

I went over to one of the students who was causing the bullying, who happened to have black hair. I tried to talk him out of it, asking him how he would like it if he was the only student who had black hair and everyone picked on him for it. He then started crying because I made him feel guilty, and hitting my leg and I told him to stop or I would tell the principal. At this point I became aware that I was supposed to be the teacher and was responsible for all of these kids.

Of course as soon as the anxiety about my responsibility kicked in the dream went haywire. One of the kids got stung by a bee and started crying, and I had to administer her epi-pen but she was kicking me because she didn't want the shot. Another kid stole cookies out of several kids lunches and got a sick stomach, and started crying. Once the other kids realized their deserts were gone, they all started crying as well. The kids reduced in age and kept finding more and more reasons to cry, and before I knew it I was surrounded by ~20 waling babies.

I became lucid as the anxiety was about to climax and realized that this wasn't my responsibility, or anybody and acknowledged that it was just a dream about an anxiety. I started to walk away as the dream faded out, not wanting to be bothered to acknowledge each of the children's individual needs. I thought the crying children would vanish as I walked away and recognized my anxiety but they didn't. The older Naruto jumped in front of my path and confronted me for leaving them behind.

-+-

I was with Marcus. I think we were at his house and he was playing Spore and I was watching. He had heavily modded the game to be better in many ways, explaining some of the dreamlike and nonexistent features of the game that I did not recall from playing the game back in high school. He started a new game as a cell, but didn't name the planet he was on the right thing, so he had to start over on another planet.

When he did, I noticed the planet was around a binary star system. (Starting a game around a binary star is not something you can do in regular Spore, I recall that much.) Most of the mods he had created revolved around making the game cooler, more realistic and more in depth that the original.

He showed me the creature stage where he was playing as this six legged monster. He was talking about how plants around different stars would need to be different colors to absorb the different wavelengths of light, and that planets around red dwarfs would have plants with black leaves because they could catch all available light. He then showed adding in this fern-like plant with black leaves.

He then cheated his game to space stage where he had made the most mods. He showed me how the home solar system he was in now had asteroids and comets that you could visit and set up small bases to mine and research, planets could become tidally locked, and could have multiple moons. You could 'colonize' gas giants and harvest resources there.

He started flying through space and went to a solar system around a small red star and colonized it, then zoomed out and showed me the galaxy. He showed me how there were some endgame items you could now unlock for your ship that allowed you to create custom stars and planets.

-+-

I was playing airsoft with Jack but somebody on the other team was using a gun with real bullets and shot him in the head. Somehow even though there was a big bloody hole in his forehead he got back up like it was only a minor injury.

-+-

I got a text from Manei and became semi lucid. She said that she saw a stray cat get hit by a car and that she needed my help to take care of her kittens until they could get into proper foster care. I drove over to her house which in the dream was in the same neighborhood as my friend A's house, and very close to it, but was only one story. In the hazy semi lucid dream logic I remember wondering to myself why I didn't visit Manei more often even though I always wanted to have more lucid dreams.

I don't recall the remainder of the dream's plot because outside of her showing me how to bottle-feed kittens nothing else really happened.

-+-

A very lengthy dream about me accidentally hitting a guy's car and making a dent it, and the other guy drove away.

-+-

A long dream about installing a Kerbal space program mod that added a planet in orbit around the homeworld with an atmosphere.

-+-

This was the dream from two nights ago that motivated me to get back into this.

I had a dream that started of somewhat similarly to my very first lucid dream. I dropped from several stories up and landed on a beach, already reasonably lucid. Some false memory details about the dream came back to me in where Manei and I were going to the beach, and we had swimsuits, towels, a beach umbrella and the likes. Marcus was there too wearing a Hawaiian shirt and he brought a folding table and chairs.

The beach was different though, it seemed completely original to the dream and didn't resemble any beach I've ever been on in waking life. I felt disoriented and looked only to find a small parking lot with some cars in it and notice that there were a few dream characters scattered about, though the beach was by no means crowded. I studied the dreamworld briefly reflecting upon how much I liked the fact that the dream had constructed an original environment rather than re-using my house or my college for the bazilyionth time.

Manei turned to me and said in the voice of one of my old friends from grade school. "Aww man, I wanted to go skinny dipping, but there's a fat guy in the water." (she gestures to a man standing waist deep in the water who looked a lot like my maternal grandfather but fatter.)

I said back to her, fully lucid "Skinny dipping isn't about your weight. It means you go swimming naked."

The dream went into some scenes that I cannot recall particularly well of surfing on the water and using my fire jets to propel myself. I recall later on Marcus set up the card table to where it was so close to the shore that in sitting on the chairs around the table the waves would wash over our feet. The three of us began discussing why my lucid dreaming effort has dropped off since my meditation stopped. When I brought up the meditation,

Marcus replied "Meditation has created 1,011 faulty dreams. Deficiency of applied effort 403 times pi percent."

I entered into a virtual reality simulation where everything was neon green cubes and black, and things looked like the movie Tron, but I don't recall much else of what happened.

Dream 1

It started off inside a school non lucid but I became lucid after the setting changed to a park with bright green colored grass with a hill top.There I saw an old man standing by a tree. I made him give me candy than asked him where his home was after the setting changed to my old house. He pointed to the dim halls and said that it was where he slept. I chuckled than left him to go to my old room. At this point I became non lucid.

I walked to my bed and lay down to get some rest but when my Grandma walked in she looked really thin,strangely tall, had no skin on her neck, just bones and as she walked out her head became a clothing iron. My younger brother had to walk in and keep her head up. Next my Dad walked in and try to give me something. I noticed I was shirtless through and told him to get out. He kept trying to hand me something until he finally left.

There was a woman watching us from outside the wall who shook her head as if she was watching a comedic tv show. With her was a golden retriever on a leash. I tried to fall asleep and forget about what happened but as I lay there I started feeling heavy so I thought I was sick. Looking up I saw that the wall was gone and far off was the ocean and it's waves crashing onto the sidewalk beyond the shore.

I became lucid again and pondered if this was a dream with some deep meaning waiting to be found. But I felt heavy and wondered if I was in the dream for too long. As I pushed myself to get up I went outside and felt like I was in England during the great depression because of how the people were dressed. After finding my younger brother he grabbed my hand and ran with me to a clock tower where people gathered to escape from the tsunami. As I looked at the people though I noticed some kids holding onto a weak red railing as they looked at the outside view. "Don't hold onto it. You'll fall" I told them. They just laughed and pushed it more though. This annoyed me so since I knew it was a dream I pushed the one that made a rude remark and he fell down onto some stairs.

The setting now became a classroom where the boy began throwing metal chairs at me. After dodging them he stopped and I left the classroom to find myself back at my old house. After entering a room and finding something odd, I went back to the living room calling for Dawn. That's when what seemed like a joker/the king's fool character made out of wool appeared and wrapped himself around me. He than made a big wool doll appear that symbolized me and began stuffing more wool into the doll's head. " Why hello Melissa! You ran away during the great depression in search of a cure. But! The story continues in the next!".I noticed a knitted hand with a Eye on it appear too. I woke up after that.

Dream 2

I was non lucid in my old house looking after some kids who randomly came in. They were very hyper so I tried to get them to play hide and seek. I could hear Eye arguing with someone in the next room though.Lucid now, I walked into the room. But I couldn't see him. That's when suddenly 3 dream characters slowly appeared and were talking about a plan to take control of the house. I asked them where Eye was but they just made blank stares than grabbed me in an attempt to get rid of me. The lady's hand weapon was interesting looking so I pressed the aqua colored button on it. Nothing happened though and she told me to stop. Before they continued to attack me though I told them to stop and if they could help me understand why this was happening. But than we heard a loud voice of a woman singing a awe inspiring song. This made the others panic. The lady flung into a wooden dresser but she couldn't fit. I tried to pull her out than went to take a peak to see who came. I saw through the distorted dream layout a giant gorilla like creature as tall as three men stacked on each other. He was surrounded by big heavy chains that seemed to be the singing woman's weapon. I jumped up and made it on the top floor as the others panicked. She was defending me but what I wanted was for Dawn to appear.

Making another leap up, I felt myself ascending into the sky and as it got faster I saw others ascending and trying to hold onto something or find a way out of it. I tried to take their hand cause they seemed like they needed stability too. After seeing a woman vanish and a teenage girl finding her mother I reached a yellow scenery that was bright but I was still ascending. "I'm not against going higher but I think its about time I think about where I wanna go"I thought to myself. Picturing myself in another scenery I also pray about how weird I felt in a lucid dream where I just kept ascending. 3 secs later I'm in a house sitting on the floor watching different guys dancing in front of an audience and I. When they put in sluts I was about to get up and leave but than turned to see a faded dc in the closet next to me that entered a black/white schnauzer doll.

"Should I see Dawn or stop trying to see him?" I asked the doll
It moved up, shook it's head for the first no than nodded for the second and moved back."Should I stop seeing Eye too?" I asked. It moved up paused than moved back. "Is that a no or a yes?" It was about to answer me again but I woke up.

I have a feeling I should stop trying to summon Dawn but if I stop summoning Eye too It will get boring for me. This reminds me of the last time I said I was going to stop summoning Dawn in a lucid years ago too. For the sake of being balanced while summoning guides I'm going to stop trying to bring Dawn up.

To be honest I don't feel like writing the dreams down or color coding it but I'm going to do it for motivation.

Dream 1

I was with my family and something like a spiritual game was going on. I can't remember what though. Next thing I know I'm in a shopping mall supermarket and looking at the different foods they have on the shelves. What catches my attention is a golden heart box with chocolates inside on the very top of a shelf. I open it and pull out a smaller wrapped candy than jump off and make my way to Dawn and Eye who are talking in my old house living room.

The setting is different now and I became fully lucid. I went into another room once they started arguing though. There I went through the glass window and flew around the house and landed on a gate. I tried to climb it but ended up slipping and grabbed onto something to keep myself stable. "Help me!" I called out for assistance. Dawn came out the house and pulled me up with Eye to his side. We than went to the porch next to my old house and started talking about something when suddenly Dawn changed into a stranger and started running into the street panicking like a barbarian and Eye disappeared. He than came after me with a wooden katana and started pulling me towards the basement of the house. I called for assistance hoping someone would come out my house but no one came. My stomach began hurting as he hit me halfheartedly with the katana.What followed was a middle age tv actress exiting a car in order to pursue the mystery of how I was attacked.


Dream 2
I was in a unfamiliar house on a vacation trip. There I looked out the window to what my younger brother pointed out was the Colombian flag hanging on the top of a pole. It was white with a light blue drawing though in the dream. He said the people put a demon on it and began flinging rocks at it. My mother approved of his actions and I found it concerning till Eye came in the room.
There I sat down and observed as Eye made jokes, laughed and was hyper as ever hovering around. Before I knew it he started shoving strawberries into my mouth. I didn't mind since I like strawberries but he was overdoing it. I told him to stop and asked where Dawn was. He said outside. I looked towards the door to see it a bit open and than looked back to Eye who said he was going to feed me a bunch of them regardless if Dawn was there or not. I than got up, grabbed what I thought was his leg and was about to give him some stern talking to outside but when I looked away than back he was at the door now. I felt he was one step ahead of me as he laughed than told me where he was.

Shrugging it off I went through the walls and he followed. We were now in a distorted room where I had found my cousins. They were arguing about something than suddenly the younger one shape shifted into another guy like in my other dream and went right for me. With a remote I tried to push the dc back but I couldn't hold my laughter in anymore. It was funny to watch him acting like a barbarian. Before I could finish laughing I woke up though.

Dream 3

I was babysitting two kids and sleeping over at their house as if I was their nanny. They were on their way to school as I searched for a phone. As they pulled something out of a back pack hanging on a green dining chair I looked away as to not be rude or make them scared some how. I was nervous but after waiting a bit I mustered up the courage to ask for the phone. The boy pointed to a black phone hiding in a couch pocket. I nodded than took the phone about to call my parents when I realized I was in a dream and wanted to try calling Dawn since I haven't done it in a while.

However, a old styled silver phone caught my attention. It was connected to a white rectangular thing with a metal circle on it. I assumed I had to put my hand on it to feel a stronger connection to someone while I used it. As I waited and concentrated someone picked up the phone. At first it sounded like they were speaking gibberish though. I said speak in English and they did though. They than asked me who I was. I said who I was but their voice faded as they kept talking. I woke up after that. I tried going back to sleep and saw a moving image of a room with a crack on the floor that let out blue light. But than I stopped and just got up.

D1 - On top of a mountain, a glassless dirt slope. Louie is looking at me, he has been waiting. I see he has drawn a zillion pictures on peices of paper for me while he has been waiting. He is funny as ever.

WBTB
D2 - I am on another pile of earth, this time way smaller. It looks like its ready to be used to landscape someones garden or something but there is far to much.
I realise i'm lucid 1st person and look around. I'm in my parents neighbours front garden. I have an idea of doing something but feel I can't do it till my parents are still around. I wait looking through the tree branches dividing the properties until they leave in a small grey green sports car (lol my dad would never have a car like that). I zip round to their house, running and enter a long hallway which is not there. The house is now modern and all the walls are bare wood. As I rush along I remember to try and stabilise, so I touch the walls and look at the detail. There are too many people about so I go into another room and lock the door. I then do some mind control. To soon the scene zips into 3rd person and becomes dark around the edges, as though in a tunnel. I feel I have lost lucidity and it is to late to affect things. And sure enough my belief makes it so.

Recall Begins:

I am a young girl, perhaps 13~15. I find a family that lives in hideaways and works in large steel barns, creating dubious devices. They are a form of Mafia, but take me in as one of their own. One day, I walked out to the barns to see the things they were creating there. This was a heinous act against the rules, as I was told many times to never look there. I walked straight into the final barn in the row of perhaps 6 barns and saw something that attested to the evil of the family. What it was I can not recall. When I saw it, I ran from those who were in the barn, but they've got backup from where I came from before I could push through that way. Instead, I turned my path toward the nearest person coming, jumped into the air as I traveled, and attempted to land a curled fist straight into their face. However, I have troubles aiming in dreams. Extreme problems. I may have become moderately lucid at this point, as I rewind the dream repeatedly until my fist connects, hard. More backup arrives and I take a similar approach with these men, utilizing attack moves that look more like break dancing than fighting, but it got the job done. I continue to run, and make it to the children's dwelling area.
I can see that some of my friends want to help me, but also fear greatly the punishment for disobedience. The dwelling itself is technically hidden within a secret chamber, but enough people knew about it that I knew at least someone would know where to find me. I am most certainly lucid by this point, as I vividly recall declaring within that this is a dream, and that if I expect to find another, new hidden passageway in the wall I was reaching for, that I would find one. Lo and behold,
the solid wall I was fast approaching gave way as a door, and I was able to slip into a new room.I am not sure what my state of lucidity is from this point on, but I know that the thoughts as they occur do not reflect either my waking state thoughts or that of the dream character I had become. Instead of remaining in secrecy, by some thought,
I decided to relinquish dream control, and the walls of the new room faded away. Some children found me, and reported me, bringing me before the council. The punishment for this crime, and I knew it before I had done the thing which I did,
was as thus: to receive a bite from a highly venomous snake which they nurtured in a fountain centered in the council circle. I felt a sense of deja vu at this point as if I had experienced this plot before somehow, perhaps having read it in a book at some point. Knowing what would happen next, I stepped, with some trepidation, into the fountain. I backed out a few times, but the third time I boldly stood as the snake latched onto my right index finger.The pain hurt greatly, but also not at all. I knew that it was a dream again, and knowing that my fate involved a painful and long duration of agony, filled with feverish fits, pain, loneliness, and thoughts that I would likely die, I choose to dissolve the mafia, their council, and evidence of their ever existing from the dream. Again, these thoughts do not reflect my own as I would reason but seemed to be of the dream character this time. With the Mafia's influence erased, the steel barns were re-written as the new setting for the rest of the dream to follow.I am no longer lucid after the jump,
and unsure of what character I am. There are two other individuals with me, one 20-year-old junkrat who's crazy blond afro gave her a reckless air when combined with her ratty tank top and torn jeans. She had a natural affinity for taking apart and building things with total junk, which may have included the Gatling gun slung on her hip like I had my handguns. The other appeared to be aged 28, darkly moody, and dangerous. Like me, he wielded dual handguns, which were concealed within his black coat. I presumed the coat's color was picked to match his hair color, but he corrected me in saying it was to match his pants. Aside from that, he was in charge of carrying around Junkrat's tools, such as a tremendously oversized bolt-cutter used on my highschool's pop machine. It was as we were taking parts out of said pop machine that we were rudely interrupted by about half the student body. For some reason, I think some of them had guns.
They surrounded our group, with the likely intent to either take us custody or kill us, neither which option seemed particularly appealing. I tried a desperado to fend them off, which failed and I had to reload. After the reload, I was on the other side of one of the groups surrounding ours, and from this spot, I noticed a little girl, perhaps 8 years old. She wore a distinctly colorful outfit, that gave off an anime character vibe. She then merged into the story as if she had been there the whole time, and was a part of our ragtag trio. She then proceeded to "help us out" by emitting a voice which had the effect of paralyzing all the other students. Somehow, the next thing I can recall is one by one shooting each student in the head,
possibly because the paralysis has a limited time effect, and this would be our only chance (but why not run?). After dispatching most of the students there, I walk up the ramp and head to Math class like nothing happened. Principal M is teaching the class, and I see my old buddy Del there. Principal M gets after him, probably for being a trouble maker,
before beginning the class. I take a test for a few minutes, before the entire east wall dissappears, and we are very high up. The class notices some power line workers standing in this weird contraption, where two guys have to hold up each side which they're standing in, while the other works in the middle. The are also very, very high off the ground, about 100 meters up and 100 meters away from us. Suddenly, one man loses his position and tumbles off. The contraption is no longer stable, and the other two fall off as well. The entire class watches in horror as these guys fall to their deaths far below. Somehow, it was much more shocking than shooting half the school. As we look at their corpses below, suddenly,
they stand up, perfectly fine. Principal M then explains that he had given each of them a wind rune, so that they wouldn't be hurt by falling.

Recall Ends.

Dream Journals

Had an almost insta WILD when I closed my eyes. I felt myself lucid holding a mouse and could see that the webpage was on DV. To test wether i was in the dream i moved my mouse and clicked the dream journals button. I saw Twoshadows had a DJ entry and went to click it when I woke up

ATM

Dreamed I was at an ATM machine withdrawing $60. A lot more bills came out and a lot of them were $50s I then realized I must have accidentally withdrawn $600 instead...

Task = green

I translated this with google-translate, so sorry for any weired grammar and stuff

I lie on the ground on an earth-filled elevation, watching take the dream shape before my eyes. As I carefully try to move my arm the images fades in front of me and turnes black and white. Then I stop moving again and try to imagine the scene before my eyes more clearly, which I then succeed and the an industrial area at night emergences. Then I try again to move my arm and my goal is to interact with the dream, which now also succeeds and I feel the earth between my fingers. Slowly I get up and walk a few steps to my right, but I realize that the dream is still very blurry, as if I do not wear glasses, and my balance is completely lacking which leaves me trudging. Then I remember my dream goal and try to sink on my left knee, support myself with the right arm at the knee and lay the left hand flat on the ground. Since my balance is very bad in this situation, I fall back slightly and must support myself with both hands on the ground. Then I ask for a long, good, lucid dream. When I rise again, the dream is clear and my balance restored. Satisfied, I realize that I have reached my first goal, anchoring myself in the dream. Now I think about that I have to start my way to work in 15 minutes and now probably still have a few minutes for this dream, that everything bevore was only a FA I'm not aware of. Without losing time I will try to tackle my second dream goal, which is why I quickly look for DCs. Just in front of me is a street that is lit only by the lanterns and a small group of people walks there, so I start walking towards that. To my right is the front of a building, probably an industrial hall, and to my left is a wire fence with an empty field behind it.
As I leave the industrial hall behind me, a young man comes up to me, he is wearing boxing gloves, and I immediately point my finger at him to call abracadabra, which, in a mixture of hustle and bustle, comes quite stuttered. The man does not even look at me, but just laughs and walks past. Since I am not quite satisfied with this result, I go to the group I have seen before on the street, since I now know that I have basically already fulfilled the goal I can slow down a little. The street is full of cars. When a man moves past a white van, I point ath him again with my finger and shout out Abracadabra, then a second time this time in English and it seems now to have an effect. The man begins to vomit, and when I call a second time in English, he vomits a second time. There are some splashes on my face. A little annoyed about it, I turn around and now turn to the rest of the dream.
It seems like some kind of war or at least a great battle takes place with many fights going on. The world here sinks into chaos and it has a bit of a end of the world feeling. So I go a way between the buildings and I have made the decision that I will try to summon a DC. Since I have only a few ideas how to do this, I just try to call for her and continue walking through the dream. Finally, I pass a further industrial hall, which is on my left, and I see how parts of human beings are falling out of it, separated with a chainsaw. Then some people dressed in black, like a special unit pass behind a fence with only smal openings, and I think I do not want to go there. I then turn around again and decide that I want to fly anywhere and do so with a jump in the air. I look around. Now I see many elevated platforms on which the warriors fight and one I have spied, which attacks a young woman. Since I have nothing else to do, I try to save the woman, but as I try to land it is so difficult for me to control the flight that I arrive late and the woman dies before. I just throw the man down from the platform and finally get involved in a fight with several others. I'm trying to do the trick with the abracadabra again to give me a little more time, but it does not work again. As a further dream control I try to raise an opponent with one hand on the neck, which I succeed after a few starting difficulties and I throw him hard from the platform to the ground. I'm flying from platform to platform and finally I want to get some enemies out of the distance, so I aim with my finger at them and make a movement like shooting a gun. This has no effect at all, so I'm looking for a revolver and when I have found one I pull a second one from the finger of a dead enemy. Then I open the fire on an enemy and need four shots until I finally hit him, although he is not far from me at all. Finally, I go over an empty field and the whole thing is a bit annoying, so I decide that I want to completely change the dream. After I loudly shout change of scenery and then snap my fingers nothing is happening. I remember once again how I heard a lecture on teleporting and look for a wall I can run against. When I turn around I see a wall with lots of shelves on it about 20m ahead of me, to which I then accelerate as fast as possible. When I'm close enough, I jump head first into one of the shelves, whereupon I crack hard against the wall behind it. Instead of feeling pain, I look around and behind me is now a basketball field on which a game takes place. After I turn around again, a boy comes through a corridor with a basketball in his Hand. Again I call out loudly to the DC I want to summon and look around until I find a large wing door that seems to lead into a kitchen. In my mind, I think the DC is in the kitchen for sure, trying to convince myself and I enter it. A couple of times, I call her name and the people here in the kitchen are pushing around a girl to block the view. As I walked around the workspace, I have a clear view of the girl, but it is not her. However, she looks similar to her in some aspects, she is also dark-haired and does not look bad. So I step up to the work surface and stand next to her on a step, which makes me just a bit taller than she is. Then I turn to the exit again and call the name of the DC again, whereupon the girl goes up through a long hose-like staircase. In order to cut off her path, I go outside and I want to fly up with a jump into the air. A man, I guess, the trainer holds me by the hand, as if he does not want me to apply dream control, and then he offers me his hand to throw me up. Since I do not mind, I accept the offer and when I want to hold my hand on the railing above I wake up.

So I had a really strange dream I married myself but I was a boy. I had a white dress and everything but the guy I was marrying was me but as a boy. And that dream was so strange I really want to know what my mind is trying to tell me. I mean I am a girl and I feel good in my own body as a girl so it can't be something like that I feel in the wrong body. Or maybe it is just me wanting to be loved. In the dream that I had I really loved the guy me and that is kinda strange cause I often judge myself and I never felt like I am normal or better then everyone else. And with not normal I mean the feeling that there is something different about me that isn't about everyone else. And I never knew what is different about me that's why I never tried to change cause I didn't knew what was so different and just accepted it. But I still judge every flaw that I have. And something important that I almost forgot about the dream was that is also kind of funny there was another me guy who after I got married he said congrats hugged me and was jealous and looked at my groom with a death stare.
Then my mother complained why I didn't want to invite her best friend to my wedding and I think the only normal thing in that dream was how my mom was talking and explaining stuff just how she would do in real life the same reactions. But what didn't make sense was that she said we should have had the wedding on an island that was near us cause it is near from the country where a friend of mine is. The weird thing is the country where my friend lives and my country are next to each other but there is no island between or water. Could this dream mean something about me craving for love cause I never had a boyfriend but I did fall in love often like crushes but I never had like a relationship and mutual love or some nice guy that would have a crush on me I was always the girl in the friendzone. And I always thought well it s better that way I can focus on school and stuff but I also really want to experience mutual love. Or maybe this dream is like if someone knows the old Cartoon Teen Titans there was a episode with Raven's mind where there where different Raven's with different personalities but all this different personalities are Raven and together those personalities make her who she is. And yea I am 16 still loving the old Cartoon Network cartoons maybe because of my age people pressure me into being in a relationship or making me feel different cause I never been in a relationship teenagers react like what is wrong with you. But even doe I want to experience love I don't want to rush things the one I love should wait for me and have a romantic just holding hands and kiss relationship and romantic dates like eating ice cream together at a ice cream parlor. And I am sorry that I wrote so much and my own explanations are way too long but maybe if you know me a little bit better through this you also can explain better why I would have such a dream and what it means. Thank you for reading and helping me out may Karma help you back <3

This is a guide for myself,

I don't have a name for it, but I did the technique where I do a WBTB, meditate, and go to sleep while watching my thoughts. I simply attempt to quiet my mind and meditate. Of course every time you try to do so, thoughts appear in the mind. Instead of fighting the thoughts, you focus in on them and watch them quietly. Let them unfold and do their thing. The goal is if you are tuned in enough, you will see FAINT IMAGES in your minds eye. The "mind's eye" is the same faculty used to conceive objects without them being in front of you. No need to conjure them, judge them, or control them. Just stay detached and watch these images unfold in your mind's eye. The caveat here is that you CAN NOT get sucked into the thoughts. The goal here is to watch the thoughts similar to how one would quietly watch a movie. Yes, the movie is immersive, but at no point in time does the viewer get sucked into the screen and lose awareness. The viewer is somewhat still aware of his or her surroundings in the theater.

The cool thing about this technique is that your mind and body will do the WILD for you; you just have to get out of your own way. Your body already is tired and knows how to fall asleep, let it. I don't even have to lie completely still. The process is natural and relaxed. The hard part really is having enough discipline to watch my thoughts without getting distracted or impatient. It's just a matter of time, really.

End Guide.

Anyway, the FIRST lucid dream had me stuck inside of this dark room. And I mean stuck. I could not move. Was it the sleep paralysis crossing over into the dream world? There was a closed door ahead of me. I used every technique I knew to get out of the room but every time I tried to move there was AN IMMENSE pressure on my head. Like my neck was straining as if someone pressing down hard on it. There were small points in time where I could move freely but in the end....two powerful arms grabbed me and threw me. To be honest, I probably conjured that because I deemed the lucid dream a failed attempt and wanted to start over again.

So I'm awake. I repeat the WILD induction and THIS TIME, it feels more like an OBE. I can feel like a second body loosening from my bed as I gently get up. When I can feel myself standing in the dream world I know I am lucid. This is how it always starts, tactile sensations of me standing up then the visuals once I feel my way out my bed room. I make it outside my house and do a twirl into the night because I know that I should have TWO HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED LUCID DREAMING RIGHT???

Wrong.

I spend the first minute or so walking around looking for Naomi, my designated dream guide. For some reason she is nowhere to be found in the usual spot I expect her to be. So I figure/expect she must be at the park 2 minutes away from where I am standing. I start walking in that direction...that's all I remember.

So two lucid dreams. But short.

Night of April 10, 2017. Monday.



I am someone else and connected to the sales or delivery of a centrifuge. Knowing its overall appearance, it is not that hard to associate it with a poker chip carousel. There is ambiguity over time, in fact, upon deciding what it really is or what is really going on. The first scene is of men in white lab coats using the centrifuge. Still, cowboys from another time gather, apparently in a tavern. For a moment, a cowboy seems to be wearing a lab coat over his trail-worn clothes.

It is a questionable situation. There are about five cowboys sitting at a round wooden table playing poker in an old west environment - yet these same men are also somehow simultaneously standing outside in the street, but it can not be discerned if they are planning mischief (either inside or outside) or simply involved in social events with other residents. Only mild anticipation ensues. It seems to be morning. Birds are singing outside beyond the batwing doors.

2017, 04-07

Enter Lothlorien

I am in a place I don’t recognize. I look around, trying to figure out where I am. I see I am very close to the foot of some tall mountains, I am in a rocky area at the foothills of the mountains. Not sure where to go, I follow the sound of a flowing river or stream. I go a little way before I find the source of the sound. The river is little more than a creek here, bubbling out of the rocks and flowing and cascading away down the foothills. I start following the stream to see where it leads. I make note of how nice a day it is for taking a walk outside. I kick myself for not bringing my phone alone, I could be getting distance on my Pokemon Go app even if there aren’t any pokemon in such a remote area.

I have not gone far before there is a flash of white light in front of me. I stop and do a double take because there are now two men standing where there was no one just seconds before. I recognize both of them right away. One of them is MoSh, and the other one is Q from Star Trek. I am surprised to see either of them here, since MoSh lives in a different country than I do and Q doesn’t exist in our world at all. When I think about that I realize this area doesn’t look like any place around my home, which is in the middle of a desert. Q smiles and even chuckles a bit. He says it’s amazing how slow the mind tends to conclude that it is dreaming. He tells me to do a reality check. I hesitate, my mind really is working rather slowly though I’m not sure why that might be. Finally I pinch my nose to do a reality check and I find I can breathe just fine even with my nose pinched. So I become lucid and then I announce to Q that I am dreaming. Q says he knows that, he’s the one who told me to do a reality check. He says the rest of the fellowship should arrive momentarily, and he was going to disappear. He then tells both MoSh and me to make sure and remember that we’re dreaming. MoSh gets down on the ground and is looking at his hand strangely. I ask what he’s doing and he says time dilation. I’m really not sure what he is talking about. I am thinking about asking Q about time dilation but when I look back I see Q has vanished.

I look over at MoSh and see he is still focused on his hand. I wait for a bit and soon a group of people come along. I recognize them from the Lord of the Rings books / movies. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo. It appears Aragorn is leading them. He does a double take when he sees me and says he thought I’d disappeared again. He says we have to hurry on our way because there will be orcs swarming from that mountain after us once it gets dark. He asks who my friend is, pointing at MoSh. I give him a name that must satisfy him, but I can’t remember what name I gave. Aragorn hurries past and tells us we had better keep up. MoSh gets up and watches Aragorn and the others pass by. I notice Frodo is hanging back a bit. I ask if he is ok. He looks like he is in pain. He says he is ok, just got the wind knocked out of him by an orc spear back there. I tell him I can help, and I focus some healing energy through him. He seems to feel better and continues at a quicker pace.

We have continued quite a while when we come to a river. Legolas is saying the river is the Nimrodel and can wash away weariness when one bathes their feet in the water. He says we will have to wade across it because there are no bridges, but it is shallow. So everyone wades across the river. It is starting to get dark out, even now dusk is settling into night. Legolas is singing a song about the Nimrodel now, but I don’t pay much attention to the words, the melody is nice. Legolas says we’d best sleep in the trees and jumps for a branch. Someone is in the tree, however, and gives him a command in a different language. I somehow understand the language, the tree dweller commanded Legolas to drop back to the ground and wait there… Legolas tells everyone else to stay still and not move. I wait for a bit and finally some elves drop from the trees. They do not seem hostile, however, just cautious.

Even as Legolas and the other elves are discussing whether or not our group can pass into Lothlorien there is a lot of noise around us and we are under attack. Aragorn expresses surprise that the orcs could have caught up so quickly, and draws his sword to fight. Legolas fires arrows and drops a few orcs before they even reach us. It suddenly occurs to me that I was going to make sure MoSh has a Witchblade. I don’t see one on his wrist so I reach into an inner pocket of my Assassin’s robes and I find a Witchblade there. I take it out and toss it to MoSh after getting his attention. He catches it and puts it on. It forms into armor and a sword as the attacking orcs get closer. The orcs are now close enough to engage in melee combat. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and then I engage the orcs in battle. My Alex Mercer blade carves through attacking orcs as fast as they can come on and attack. I’m being attacked from all directions so I use a spin attack like Link from Legend of Zelda, slicing several orcs open across the middle. I look around just in time to see MoSh remove the head of an attacking orc. Before long all of the attacking orcs have been destroyed.

After the battle is over I see some of the elves set about disposing of the orc bodies. One of the elves is over talking to Legolas, from what I can tell they are discussing whether we will be allowed to enter into Lothlorien. They finally decide that we can enter, but will have to be blindfolded. I look over and I see MoSh looking up at the trees and wandering around a bit. He says this place is beautiful and then takes off flying, much to the amazement of the fellowship and the elves. One of the elves asks me where MoSh is going. I tell the elf not to worry about where MoSh is going, he won’t cause any harm. The elf says that’s not for me to decide. I tell him that if fighting by their side to defeat the orcs isn’t proof of friendship, what is? He looks like he will say something else but then he doesn’t. I realize I still have my blade arm active and I shift it back to my normal arm. The elf says we’d best get into the trees to rest for the night, they have platforms prepared for just such use. The people in the fellowship start climbing up rope ladders that are hanging down from the trees. The elf asks if MoSh will be returning. I tell him I don’t know for sure, but I rather doubt it. And I don’t think I’ll be around for much longer, either. He asks where I would go when there are surely more orcs out there on the hunt. I tell him I can only be there in a dream, so I might be waking up at any time. He says no, that while Lothlorien may look like a place only to be found in dreams, it is most definitely real. Before I can clarify what I mean, however, everything fades to black and I wake up.

It started with me waking up from my bed. The blue sky is dim as if it will turn night soon. I look around and see a phone, however I assume it is my brother instead of mine. I hear words and people as I put my head back down to the pillows below. I think of my mother and father and offcially get out of bed to greet them. As I am out and about, I see my mother reorganizing the refrigerator. Talking with my father about outside stuff, things I didn't care to pay much attention to. I walk over to get something to drink, to where my father addressed to how I've messed up on something. I can no longer remember what it was about.

But when I heard it I became agitated and eventually slam my fist on the counter. My mother said "looks like he is at it again" As my father simply sigh in a gesture to say this wasn't the first time I acted out. Looks like I'm a hot head in this one I thought to myself. That is when my brother came down stairs from the shadowy corners. He and I greeted each other but then walk off and for an unknown reason both I and my parents had a desire to follow him. We did which led us to a holographic image appearing infront us like some future tec stuff. It showed my brother bashing a flower set up in anger.

We continue to watch and then I came in to the picture, I look a bit younger and so did my brother. My brother had stormed out somewhere and my younger self followed. I and my parents along with my brother both followed as well. I came close to the younger me and touch his clothes. That's when he became even younger and my holo brother was looking to fight. That's when my lucidity began, my parents did not know what was happening. I told them this is a vision my brother is having. I told my brother to hurry up and complete this so we can all wake up.

My borther look at me and gave me the ok face. He and I both walk up to the card that we knew would be the exit. My brother read of the bar code which should release us. As he had done so I began to feel faint and very light. After that I had awoken to where my lucidity was no more. My family and I all appeared to be in the mouth of a serpant dragon. The monster then spit us all out except for this one guy with torn up clothes and long blonde hair. I could sense his intentions were to stay with it for I don't know. After this happened I had awaken again, but chose to not open my eyes. Instead I use my loud neighbors as an advantage.

I knew I would wake up like this sooner or later. Instead of lying there thinking about how much I hate them. I'll use them for a skill I never was very good at. With not much effort, I lay there and ponder what trigger thought should be the one to shoot me in to a dream. That's when I could feel myself needing to use the restroom slightly. Ah, that's a good thought to use as it has a feeling as well. Before I knew it, I had enter a dream and was using the restroom. It work with my eyes shock, hoping that I wasn't actually wetting myself. But I doubt it as the liquid look to fake round like. Before I could look around a lot, I had woken up again due to another disturbance from the waking world.