lucid

normal / lucid

I was walking in this forest-ish landscape with superheroes (like Batman and Superman), then suddenly, I warped. I was on a VERY high ledge at the top of my closet, I jumped down and said "Gravity stop." while I was about an inch off the floor. The gravity came back on and I safely made it to the ground. I thought to myself: "Wait a minute. My closet isn't this big. I must be dreaming!" Just to be sure, I performed a RC. I looked at my fingers. There were 6 of them. I said aloud, "I'm in a lucid dream!" I turned around and there was a door (In reality, this door would've led to my bedroom.) I wanted to have a little fun. I began to open and close the door multiple times, each time I opened it, there was a different landscape. I started yelling out, "Eiffel Tower! Ocean! Amusement Park!" in hopes to open the door and go to that landscape. It didn't work. I just settled with my bedroom and walked through the door. I began to get nervous for some reason. Then I was scared. I checked the clock on my nightstand. 7:29 p.m. There was an odd slash that went through the numbers. I was still dreaming. I looked around the room. Everything seemed empty. I could feel myself waking up. I rubbed my hands together to stabilize. It didn't work. I woke up

I was on a road at night. I was passing a lot of houses. I stop in front of a building which was something between an abandon train station and a (abandon) school. There was a man there I believe was claiming to be a janitor..since its the only job he could get because of a past that he had been charged with crimes he didn't do. I believed that story at first. I went into the station-school since he let me in to get warm. The inside of the station looks like a school there was a desks,etc and there was a VCR player and TV too. The guy turned on the TV and the VCR and a video started playing.. "My Crimes" and it showed me all the crimes he done.. I was thinking "Why is the guy showing me this?" I even asked why he was showing me it. He said something like "Because you wouldn't be leaving here alive." and when he was talking he had been putting a knife to my throat.I did get really scared at that moment. At that moment there was a sound at the (outside) door and he pushed me into a closet and locked me in there.

dream changed:
I was a man (in RLF I'm a woman), I was travelling with one other man, and a blond woman (I'm a red-head in RLF).We were all sharing an aparment when travelling and the other man was already at the table eatting cereal. I had just sat down to open up the ceral box and when I did..there were too ceral bags.. 1)was a more "healthy" Cearal and the other one was Fruit Loops.

scene changes..
I'm in the bedroom in the same apartment (everything in that apartment is white).. I'm still a man, I'm on a cell (which is something I don't have in RLF), there is a woman's voice on it kept saying "Its me Emma". I had no clue who "Emma" was/is. The next thing I know I'm watching a news item and it said something about a shoot out around the apartment building we're in. (It had a red outside and non-fire escape stairs to the ground).

I was in my room I think. I dont really remember what triggered me to RC, but I did. I was lucid. I can't remember all that I did here. Although, I do remember Sam following me, saying that she was lucid as well. I walked into my closet with her at my tail, and found a book wide open. I tried to read from it just to see if I could, but every time my eyes moved every word turned to something else. I remember reading weird words like "rime", or something like that. Sam walked away for a moment, and now was my chance. I think instead of flying straight out of my bedroom window, I broke it with my foot, then jumped out face first. I glided slowly downwards to the ground. Looking up, I noticed that it was barely twilight.
Once I landed, I saw what looked like a shack with lighted torches around it at the end of my driveway. It was pretty odd. I tried to fly again, so I started hovering instead. I closed my eyes and imagined myself hovering. I got a few inches above ground. I noticed it wouldn't work if I concentrated on the whole body, so I tried different parts instead. I focused on my calf, and I started
hovering a bit more up and moving really fast to the left. I stopped that and tried to run really fast, but I only ran a little more than I could in the real world. It made me very tired for some reason.
Somehow I got back inside my house, and was at the base of the stairs. I looked in front of me on the right wall and saw a beautiful picture. It looked like a blue cabin in the woods, with the morning sun illuminating the lake beside it. I wanted to go there. I stuck my hand into the wall. It was pretty hard at first. Then I stuck another hand in, then my nose. I couldn't really get through any further.
So, I gave up and walked back up the stairs. I walked into my room and was thinking of some tasks I could achieve. I thought of the 3 step tasks, and
decided I would do them. First I RCed, then I tried to stabilize. I rubbed my hands together, but nothing really changed. It just looked like little rivulets were swirling in my sight. So I tried to touch things, and the dream became much more vivid and real. But just a little bit. Then I flew out my window once more.
That's all I remember. I'm not good at remembering the beginning and end parts of my lucid dreams.

I didn't enjoy these dreams that much, but I am making good progress. So, anyway, I was trying to WILD. I was generallly noticing my head on the pillow and my breathing. I then started feeling a bit numb, so I just sat there. Soon enough, I felt something come from my toes up to my head really fast. It was SP, but the sound was weird, it sounded like wind going by you and speeding up really fast, then it hits a wall. I waited for two seconds, and then I got up. I looked at my alarm clock and noticed it was off. I got up and wanted to go somewhere else other than my bedroom, so I spun around very fast. I appeared on Mars. I was standing on one of these five red rock plateaus that surrounded a mountain. I remember, my friend, Jacob, was there too. I was taking to him and then I woke up. However, not moving at all, I felt the same sensations and was right back in the dream. I jumped from plateau to plateau while running, and it was the best feeling ever.

NOTE: I was semi-lucid in both of these dreams. It looked somewhat blurry but comparable to real life. I'm just happy I got two of these.

First dream in my DJ for a while.
It's very fragmented.
There's something about facebook and I wrote something that could suggest that I do drugs, however I don't, and because this was very not me, I guess that I started to realise I was dreaming. There's also something about my school being in a different location, and criminals have taken it over and I had no choice but to help them. The girl who used to appear in my dreams quite a bit was also in this/these dreams.

Used some Maca and B-vitamins after waking last night, and felt like "just weird" Maca is good for energy and stamina, not a stimulating kind like caffeine, but more of a conscious awareness, and apparently also Libido, tho I never noticed that. Anyway on with my dream: I slipped into a dream, rather easily last night after going back to bed for a wild. The dream began with me in a dark room, where a mirror was by my bed, A mysterious voice said you have used it before, haven't you? I said I used it to turn into an animal. The voice said how did it feel, realistic? I said yes, and that it made me feel free. The voice said how so? I said it opened up my mind to odd ideas not possible, in waking life. The voice said what is waking life?! And I suddenly was in sleep paralysis. Strong electricity, buzzing, and total oblivion. While fighting it, this same voice said it's going to change your life, fight it off and it will set you free. The buzzing subsides and I just know I beat it back to a dream. The same voice said welcome back to the dreamworld. At this point I said what's going to change my life? Voice: That you remembered. I was like wow, this is one incredibly vivid conversation for a DC, so I asked who are you? My dream name is Silver Ghost, but I am also you. I have a dream name? Yes. Do others know this name? Yes. (Goggled it after the dream, and got a 1906 car) After that the voice said look at the mirror, and change. I changed into the same Fox-like animal that I have done a few time's before, only this time was way more vivid with white fur. "Now run around someone's dream your connected to. You don't know them but do whatever you want" is the last thing the voice said. I left my house and was in apparently someone's dream. I think it was just my own dream, but I'm open to anything, really. There a woman said look at that dream character, hey wolf are you a wolf? I said I don't think so. Are you dreaming too? I said. She looked at me sexually, and this wearied me out. Are you real doggie? Want to play a dream game? I asked what that was and she said A Transformation? How did you do it, in my dream? So I approach her and she pets my hair, winks at me and I woke up. So complex by far my longest most comprehensive conversation and totally meaningful.

My memory is pretty sketchy because I had to go to work as soon as I woke up, so this is about eight hours later..

I'm in a shop and I buy a frozen coke, I have to fill it from the machine. (all I can remember)

I'm in a dark room, pitch black. I'm bound to a chair. I'm lucid. I try to free myself, but I just can't. I imagine in my mind (my dream mind) that I'm doing the sequence to an energy charge. I feel a VERY strong vibration around me, but the chair and the ropes restraining me don't move. I wake up.

01/20/12

AFC Championship Football Game
I am in my own house, and I am watching television. I am in my entertainment room where I have my television and game systems. There is a football game on, it is the AFC championship game between the Baltimore Ravens and the New England Patriots. The Ravens are ahead at the moment, with a score of 14 to 0. I hear my mom and my brother in the other room, also watching the game. I am in my room because I know John, my brother, is rooting for the other team. I don't really care, but I'd rather cheer for the Ravens in peace. I look back at the game and I see the score has changed… ridiculously changed… it is now 76 to 14 in favor of the Ravens. Wtf? The score couldn't have changed that much that fast… I wonder if John and my mother noticed that. I head to the other room and see the score is now 117 to 24 in favor of the Ravens. John is throwing stuff at the television. I say the scoreboards at the game must be broken… there's no way that could be the real score…

Waves of Oblivion
I am in a small town that looks like something out of an RPG such as Oblivion. Everything is in a bit of chaos, people are running for cover and hiding in the various buildings. Everyone is in a blind panic. I head towards the front gates to see what is going on. There are guards at the front, they tell me to get inside with the other civilians. I ask what is going on, the guard says there are demons pouring from the gate, now get to shelter. I decide I can help, so I head out of the gate, ignoring the guard yelling after me. The captain of the guards also tells me to go to shelter, I tell him I'm going to help. He laughs in my face and says the day a woman can hold her own in a fight is the day he retires. I ignore him and head towards the main force of demons.

The gate they're pouring from is an Oblivion gate. There are so many of them. I charge right into the group, forming sword and armor from Witchblade. I cut through a couple, jump over more, and finally I get to the gate. I go through the gate and see there are more demons pouring on that side of the gate. There seem to be an infinite number of them. I see the main tower in the area, that must be where the sigil stone is. I head straight for it, taking flight to get there quicker. Forget going through the tower… I fly straight to the top and down through an opening in the ceiling. There's the sigil stone… I grab the stone, thus collapsing the Oblivion gate.

I am now standing in the ruins of the Oblivion gate. There are still some demons present on this side, but the army defending the town are quickly dealing with the remaining demons. Some of the demons disappear through small portals when they see there are no more reinforcements coming for them. I see the captain of the guards not far away, and I go over to him. He says I am lucky that gate closed or I would be dead. A soldier tells him that I am actually the one who went into the gate and closed it. I ask the captain if he will be retiring now… he just looks stunned.

I was walking through gardened, sunlit streets of Paris while servants rushed past me carrying flowers and lanterns. Suddenly, I realized I was dreaming. I hadn't done a reality check - the environment was simply unfamiliar and felt dreamlike. Knowing I was lucid, I tried to collect my thoughts and spun a few times to stay asleep. Because I'd been having with dream control, I decided to start by truly flying rather than the sad floating I'd been doing in lucid dreams lately.

Still in Paris, I flung myself off of a balcony and began to fly. The flying was fantastic - very fast and soaring, yet completely under control. The cities and towns of France were beautiful but also looked rendered, like a video game. I remember thinking that there were no landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, because this was Paris in the early seventeenth century.

I noted at this point that I was flying in a kind of standing position, with my legs pointed down and head vertical. I wondered if flying on my stomach may be a better experience and tried it. However, it felt just like the hand gliding I do in the real world, and my visibility wasn't as good. I went back to flying while standing.

As I was flying around, I noticed a ship that had partially sunk like the Costa Concordia in Italy. I thought hey, it's a lucid dream, I'll fly down and save the ship. However, I was unable to turn it over, and was gored and bloodied in the process with skin ripped off my body. This wasn't painful or scary, though, because I was still lucid. I figured I hadn't "assumed" I could help the boat, and therefore couldn't.

After flying a bit more, I decided to try going to the moon. I became a space shuttle, and rockets blasted below me, propelling me skywards. I landed on the moon and became a person again, exploring a partially unbuilt lunar base with other humans. After that, I flew more, and remember explaining to a dream character that the reason I was spinning in place was to stay asleep. My alarm clock eventually woke me up.

Note: Went to bed drunk

If your curious about what orgonite is then please read the ongoing thread I just created in the Attaining Lucidity or just visit the link... http://www.dreamviews.com/f12/i-thin...-dream-127263/

The dream has sexual contact and use of brief profanity. Please do not read my DJ if that bothers you.

The dream started in a city with small crummy slumlike homes that was built in a sort of warehouse. Everywhere in the dream had a dull copper like rooftop within the city. The orgonite induced lucidity quickly after the dream started but since it has been so very long since I've been lucid I didn't know exactly how to control the dream. I remember being with a group of people that were debating problems in a way. The dream constructed the situation so that even though I had lucidity I couldn't escape the tedious task of mediating the problems. It seemed like everywhere I looked people were blocking the exits and I couldn't leave the debate without feeling like I was going to disrespect someone.

Finally someone left an open exit and I broke off for a run but slipped into a ditch with water in it. The water drenched my shoes and pants nearly up to my knee. The water was murky and seemed very real. (I was happy to wake up after all this to find out I didn't wet myself, Hahahah.) I made my way to a home and entered it to find a sort of gathering of people. I noticed amongst all the people a very attractive woman in the room with a slender body with curves in all the right places with dark hair. Being this was my first lucid dream in a long time I decided I would take advantage of the lucidity before the dream ended as in the past my dream world would collapse after a while once discovering lucidity. I said to the girl "We're both dreaming so lets fuck" and I grabbed her and we started kissing. It was the stating of these words that gave me the confidence that I was in control. We quickly escalated into having sex within what felt like was only 30 seconds. It felt very real and I enjoyed it immensely but dream world shot a voice at me that was my mother who lives in Tennessee in real life but she was living with me in the dream. My mother said wake up.

I found myself humping my bed still in dream world. This "waking up" tricked me into thinking dream world was real momentarily... but not for long. The orgonite hit me again and instantly made me aware that I was dreaming again. I found myself stuck in a rut again like the previously mentioned but with a different group of "debaters." Once free from the task I found myself performing the same activity as mentioned earlier but with a different girl. Cant remember much from her. I don't know if I "finished" in my dream as for I cant remember.

I was only asleep for 3 hours. From 4am to 7am. I seem feel semi rested after that short 3 hours as I didn't go back to sleep. It's now almost 4:30 here and I'm getting tired again but I think this 3 hours with orgonite has been better than 10 hours of sleep without it.

This did not end up as a "wet" dream. Haha

If I had to describe how the Orgonite induced lucidity it was almost like the orgonite "pulsed" through me giving me 10 times the awareness I usually have within a dream. This awareness immediately made me realize I was dreaming. There was no trigger. It was almost like there was no part of dreamworld could have convinced me it was real after the "pulse" of greater awareness.

Well, as any of my readers might already know, I don't really have lucid dreams. My dreams are more like that of memory fragments that are very realistic, and slightly terrifying at times.
My point is this: A week or two a friend of mine suggested that I try lucid dreaming to counteract some haunting nightmares I'd been having. I did some research on the subject of dreaming lucidly and found out the basic beginner's trick to knowing when you're in a lucid dream.
I had kind of gotten the idea from Inception, but regardless, it works ALMOST every time.
People would often say for beginners to think of a bright, easily recognizable object. After seeing that object appear you would know you're now in a lucid dream. At first I tried to think of something like, a neon green dodge ball, or fiery puppy, but nothing seemed to work, but then I watched Inception. They used small inanimate objects like a chess piece or a small top, well I then tried that the following night, and it worked!
I'm not going to say what the object (because it's very personal and I don't think the objects original bearer would appreciate me just telling everyone on the internet what object kept us such good friends).
Once I was lucid, I think it would be safe to say that all hell broke loose in my subconscious mind. At first I just got out of bed like i had woken up in the middle of the night. It was so real I was afraid I was actually awake! To safely test my theory out, I punched my brother in the face. Instead of waking up, his entire head was dismembered and the things inside it spread all over the wall.
I felt so amazing, so I shot a blast of fire at the wall and flew out after my large, white Angel wings had sprouted from my back.
I was drawn to my school for some reason, so I smashed a whole in the ceiling and landed in the cafeteria. It was dark except for a few candles here and there. In the middle of the room was one of my good friends, uh, Rayne. Before I continue I should mention that she is a very well behaved teenage girl, who would never do anything bad past... okay, at the moment I can't think of anything bad she would do, but anyways...
She was laying in the middle of the room with a syringe in her arm. I rush over to her and hold her up due to the fact that she didn't eve look like she was breathing. I pick her up and she begins laughing like a maniac.
She holds up another syringe in my face. "Dude," she says tiredly. "You should... totally, try this stuff!"
'What the hell is it?!" I asked concernedly.
"HEROINE!!"
Then I realized I was in a dream and I pulled a Daedric Dagger out of nowhere and stabbed my leg. The next thing I know I wake up screaming, because I was pinched my leg so hard that I started to ooze blood.
Anyways, that was my first successful attempt at lucid dreaming. Hopefully in the future I will try to have longer and more intense dreams. I'll also being doing some research in shared dreams and will attempt one of those.
Dekaron, signing off!

"The Spacefairy Porthole"
Dec 21 2006 when I first started keeping a dream journal, this one is very memorable.

It starts off I am in a spaceship and I'm recieving instructions on how to run the controls by this older man. He's kind of like a tour guide giving instructions to a bunch of newcomers on the spaceship. He's giving a speech to all of the "tourists" of the ship. I'm supposed to read the instructions but I decide to put that off and explore the spaceship even though I was given some assignment...after I promise to read I put them aside. Up ahead is a giant glass window where we can view where the spaceship is going. I am astounded at the magnificant view that the window gives. I walk up to the glass and I'm closer than anyone, suddently a beautiful giant blue whale bumps into the glass, the tourguide comments "Oh that's just some occasional debree we get here and then" the whale is beautiful, and is swimming through space. When no one is looking I decide to head off through one of the doors and explore.

I go down a neverending hallway, which at one point I see my family but they're in line for a movie, even though there is nobody else in line and they're not actually...going anywhere. I try to tell my father this, that there is no line- but he is convinced that he has to wait in line therefore convincing my family this and I have to leave them there to their own doom. I continue through this strange hallway which is sort of interdimensional until I come to the library. I enter into what is the most beautiful library I have ever seen, with white floors and white walls and white marble everywhere. There are millions and millions of books, but I am caught off gaurd again when I see what is a beautiful marble mantlepiece. I walk towards the mantlepiece, Suddenly a beauitful fairy appears with curly brown hair and a beautiful dress- all I remember is she was so beautiful and made a twinkling noise. Suddenly her bare feet are enmeshed in leaves, and a sort of wreath of roots and leaves forms directly in front of her.

She tells me to look, and I look into the wreath and can see in it. Then she directs me to "Jump!" Meaning jump into this wreath where there is a hole- like a porthole. I look in and then I jump into it- I am in for three seconds, which seem to be for a millenium, as you go through time slows. I am falling down through- kind of like Alice's rabbit hole, I see these giant rocks and formations and I guess like those ancient ruins, these rocks are floating in a beautiful heavenly space, there is grass and moss and different planes of grass. It's bright I first land on a floating island, all around is sort of a grey starry mist, but as I pass through- it is as if a glimpse is more than ten minutes...there are whales floating around everywhere, beautiful large whales and floating stones... I stay here for awhile and then I jump off and continue through the hole until I land face down in a pyramid.

Here I am a slave, I have to move these certain rocks around and a woman is the queen, a cruel evil woman who has a whip and a gun. There are certain levels in the inside of this pyramid. On the top are two chairs- for the queen and king, then it slopes downward to where the common people go and then there is a sort of cliff, where you cant see the slaves working on the bottom level. We're all in a line and we're working on these ropes...or something. The queen, rarely goes down the steps to where the slaves are. My friends who are next to me decide to escape, they pull a stone out of the cliff and find a passageway into another place where they go in all first before me. I try to follow but my hips get stuck. They escape..

Then the queen comes down. She sees that I haven't been working constantly and comes towards me with her gun and whip in hand. I close my eyes and tuck my knees to my chest while she circles around me knowing that at any moment she might shoot me- she taunts me and makes fun of this moment. Then suddenly I jump up and grab the gun. I run to the right where there is a gaurd and I shoot him in the arm. then I continue running. I continue along the hall and yet again I see my father- but just my father- I tell him that he has to run because there's someone after me. I want his protection but he demands that he is in line and has to wait- this is in a sort of grey carpeted realm and he is standing in front of a door to a kind of black void. So I ignore him .

I continue running and can hear the queen behind me, she is close and I see a door and I pray to myself that it is the library. I run to the door and open and then I slam it before the queen catches up. Yet I know she could come in soon, so I have to hurry, I discard everything and search and search until I find that magical fireplace mantle where I know she appeared. I pray and pray, APPEAR APPEAR! then instead of the fairy- the magic porthole appears. I jump in quickly and find myself BACK in the spaceship. There i am holding the instructions. I think to myself that I could live here but the only place I'll ever be happy is my home. ....I keep thinking about home and then the hole appears I jump into it and I wake up with a start in my bed. I get up and go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, for a few moments I dont remember anything= and then it hits me- I remember the whole dream.

"Time Warp" Jan 1st 2012

There was a knock at Ryan's door. I went outside then i heard myself from inside the house. I hid then realized I could zip away or time travel. I figured out how to astral project myself into other dimensions. This was key to the next epic dream which was like living another life. When I was aware of this I committed your to dream memory, it was in the future. Beyond 2012 and my brother was going to be trapped in a time warp so I had to save him. I used my special powers to become invisible and I ap'd across a road covered in ice that sensed or human energy. They could not sense me unless I was in front of them and touching the ice. These men in yellow astronaut like suits with helmets etc. they may have thought I was an alien because I was invisible or maybe they knew who I was.

There was a huge collapse of a football stadium just like a movie. That may have been earlier, then there was an attack like an unseen force of destruction. Aliens? I remember how I used the cellphone as w a way to warp, but I'm not sure if those were tapped.

I think I may have been caught or rode in a "police" vehicle. They drove hover cars that were Circular with rubber legs or something and could sense life. The whole area was dead and humanity was being wiped out like in a time warp and controlled or I fear channeled to other bodies ?


"Glitch" Feb. 9 2009

Last Night: I am in bed, and then I am being awakened. I am conscious and choose my escape method. I feel the force of spinning in my body, and slip out then the Shadow begins poking me::In the ribs, back, thigh, stomach, arms, anywhere it hurts me and I continue avoiding the pain and knowing I cannot just 'let' it torture me because it obviously 'wants' me to struggle, so masochistic. I know there are four anonymous demon names which I am not aware of, although I know there are four demon names before me....and I am then suddenly under my bed on the floor- I feel the cold wooden floor against my skin and I am laying with my side and face on the floor, I am UNDER the bed...it was so real and terrifying....the poking and pinching begins again and I begin calling out 'Aaaah Aahh' sometimes I can hear it, and it's like I am moaning through the parallel astral dimensions. I wake up and think, although that was horrible I think I can experience worse....

The Night Before: I am once again boarding the plane and then the plane takes off, then I am waiting to board, then I am traveling in air, next to people. There are companions. It's just non-stop boarding then getting off...and then on. I am climbing through a tall building that is never-ending with secret rooms- this large building is a metaphor for a Magical Asylum. It has rooms for memories of people that passed and people being born. My mother has a room with paintings of her children and who she wanted us to be....

The Magical Asylum and The Airplane metaphor is a dream I have been having almost nightly, getting on a plane and traveling...and then this stupid crazy Magical Asylum in a dark city at night. I am trapped, it's like a life or death...like they are trying to make us Immortal and crazy or something and I keep trying to escape and make friends with the patients then like, I escape and become a con artist or I steal things from the Asylum....or tell their secrets like a spy it's very fun those dreams but the neverending rooms like dreams are overwhelming and make me dizzy. I also have dreams about boarding schools, of course, magical boarding schools with a Witch as the Headmistress and yeah...those dreams are hard to remember when I wake up.

"Little Brother" DEC 14 2010

My recent dream was very different than usual dreams. I was with my younger brother, who is usually very mature and articulate. In this dream it was like he was a really young boy, like nine or so, and kind of vulnerable. His vulnerability just showed. I was with him on the shore with a crowd of people, once again it was in a tropical climate and then I told some people, maybe parents or caretakers that we were venturing toward the shore to see the waves. I was with him, and suddenly the waves rushed in and people were panicking. I quickly took control and became the mother of my brother, I told him to hurry back from the water just before it started to flood. Then this person, I think it was my dad character, said to take my brother and flee because it was crowded, and we needed to get away before the floods got to us. We were walking along the road in the dark. The further we moved away from the sea the more I became the mother. But then, suddenly I became possessive. I had him in really nice clothes and he was with me, but everything was up to my "vision" of him and how much I loved him, while putting my interests first. I remember I took him with me, and him being kind of incoherently innocent, smiled as we enjoyed a rich people's party. I was dressed in designer clothes and acting wealthy and superior.

And i wanted him to look wealthy to project both of our worth. I've never been this way in real life but it made me analyze the issue of parenthood and possessiveness. Also, I think the ocean may have an emotional level for how much I care about my brother...and with my mom not being stable right now I do feel protective of him while not feeling like I can truly protect him. And with my mom sick, it's even harder. He's becoming an adult, so this is even stranger to me that I should dream of him being so little. Of course, the worst part was I think during the end my self got so consumed in escapism that I lost sight of him and ended up in my own world and he was left behind. I don't know, I never cared about someone as much as my brother. I know he cares about me a lot too, and it's hard to express how much you love someone when it's family sometimes, because you're with them all the time. I still live at home aside from college, and he's going to college next year.

Overall it was a really deep and revealing dream, but on so many levels the part about me in this over-protective possessive role while it seemed to feel good as the "mother" I retrospectively think of it as entirely wrong. I have wondered sometimes if my mother became this way too...or if it's common under stress or normal circumstances. I also think I've always wanted him to think of me as a role model, and I've felt I let him down sometimes. Feeling like I want to protect my younger brother, as I always have, it's tough when he's growing up and I worry about him. He's so rebellious and craving independence, and I'm just someone who cares about him. But deep down, isn't caring better than being protective? Even if that boy in the dream wasn't like him, I've had another dream that scared me to the core. I called my brother and his voice was creepily childish and confused, and my first thought was "he's in trouble, it's not him"

I wonder sometimes, it's like I have all these dreams of his childhood self when I was struggling, images of him crying when I looked into a mirror at my face, I see his face instead. What are my dreams telling me? That I need to be a better sister?

"Gangsta" 2009
I remember it much like snapshots of different moments. In the beginning I was on a mission. Then I was watching a video that was made for me by two men, who were dressed in dark hoodies. It was them talking about how they loved me, but I wasn't sure I should love them because they were gangsters. Then I was at a young man's house, who trying to get me alcohol and to drink alcohol despite I was talking to my dad, who was laying on the couch dreaming. I remember the government found out I did something illegal, maybe I fell in love. Then I was in a garage type place and this rich man who traveled a lot said he had been looking for me, and that I couldn't get away from him. He started firing at me and I dodged all the bullets then I ran, and I got on a train and ended up where no one could find me, not even my family. I was walking through a downtown area in a black coat looking up at the architecture, there was probably a fountain and it was fall or winter. I had a feeling I would meet someone, that I would still fulfill my mission despite that I had left everything behind, it was a new life.

"Ascension" 2009 October

I am on a subway. The train screeches. I'm with people, we're underground. I make it to the bottom, there must've been an elevator. I take the stairs to the top. I'm in my house, a man is with me on the porch who tries to attack me. Then he shifts and evolves into a friend. He wanted to tell me the secret truth.
I'm in a spaceship with horrible people doing horrible things to me. I keep coming back to a 'game' where I'm a baby being fed bad food and sung aweful lullabies to grow into a slave. I write a letter to the heavens, and tell them what I know of this. That I don't understand why I am being put through the game and what I truly want. I'm with two people, a man and a woman. The man thinks I'm his slave. The man tells me something, the woman is suspending herself. I make a better impression on them, the man thinks he is like God?
I'm in a space station type place. There's a sick boy with me. I've been given pills in the shape of the solar system. A nurse comes into my bedroom and I feel upset about this. A girl is sitting in my bed and she is talking about the aliens. I tell her they are real, it's just a matter of perspective. I see a tirangle spaceship and think about another dream about the triangle spaceship, desert, and mars.

I'm on a huge spaceship and we're looking out into space. A chinese man and a wise scientist. One of them throws open the space door. They hold onto the sides, 'what are you doing?' a man asks. He says 'I'm liberating them'. We decide to let go and are sucked into the stars then spit out on the otherside. But it's not what the boy thought it would be. He reminds me of someone. Then I'm hovering above a spaceship that's on a planet, and it's making 'spew spew spew' noises and I hear a rock music song.
I am strong when I face the attacker, I wrestle him and my dad yells at him 'what are you doing?' he says I came to tell her the truth. There was a contract you signed that you werent meant to into slavery. The system brought him there. Then he realized he was supposed to be my friend and became nice. So much happened within this and it was all so vivid and surreal, like the most craziest dream I've ever had. It may have flowed in sequence but not when I woke up. It was definitely centered around ascension.

This dream was interesting and futuristic like many of my dreams. I plan on posting my most memorable ones periodically.

March 29, 2011

"All you need is a foreign tour guide, and this guide will take you through the map of dreams--to any parallel earth in time."

We were in a room I had been before, fleeting glimpses of past and future swirled around with magical glimpses of surreal and primal wants.

I walked along a city, there were tall highways that reached up into the sky.

I entered this large building in France. Perhaps in Paris, France. "How did you get in here?" Someone asked me. I told them I had a tour guide.

The place was a giant museum...basically, an empty chamber with towering walls of black marble, etched into the marble was locations, names, identities. Something about it was mystical, mythical, unsettling. They were busy, people rushed through but I was in awe of the names. I knew I had to look at them. They looked like the names of vets of a war too, like in DC.

There was more, but I don't remember it all.

Then I had an intensely sexual run in with someone, that stayed with me.

So this girl asked me how I got there, and I told her because I couldn't help it I was so excited...she was younger, and she asked how she could get a foreign tour guide so she could travel between realms as well.

The oddest thing about the dream was that I had a gut feeling I was dreaming. But what made me mad to them was that I thought it was a dream! This happens a lot in my dreams, dream people think I'm crazy when I realize or tell them I'm dreaming. I didn't tell anyone it was a dream, but I knew.

Then I heard, finally, "That's it. We're going in and getting her out." She sounded and looked like Hillary Clinton.

Suddenly I was pulled like through a tunnel, I saw men in black and they started chasing me. I jumped and had a fleeting glimpse of the room and bed as if it was just another fleeting dream. Then I woke up with a jolt realizing, wait--no this was my true reality.

I can only describe this in limited detail, if I could make a movie of those fleeting glimpses with a good budget---it would be awe inspiring. My dreams are like films, lucid, colorful full of light and beauty as well as sound and motion.

I don't want to go into alot of detail, because I don't know how to make this entry private. So I'll put what I can in as vague a way as possible.

Last nights LDs were memorable in several ways, mainly in the technique used to attain lucidity:

1. All 3 were successful DEILDs (which is usually really hard for me, I ordinarily just DILD)
2. All 3 were successful gender swaps
3. In the 3rd one, I didn't lose lucidity too soon, via some old tried and true techniques

First of all, concerning DEILDs, I was on a roll last night. They took little effort, and happened quickly! I went straight from a few moments of hypnogogic images and then boom, lucid. My self-awareness was consistent from being awake, to the images, then the LD. I was so happy, but I kept getting that "feeling tired within the dream, leading to waking up" problem. Even dream blindness one time. I just kept yelling "More Lucidity Pleeeeeease" and it would lock it in for a few moments. One time, I felt that tiredness and was afraid I might wake up, so I did my mirror trick: I lifted my hands and willed a mirror to appear. I looked at my reflection, opened my eyes REALLY WIDE, and they started changing shape and getting all deformed, which locked in the lucidity. But it wasn't until the 3rd LD, that in "that moment", you know, during a naughty LD, where you wake up too soon, I just kept on shouting "More Lucidity" every few seconds. It was a little high maintenance, but I didn't wake up until the deed was complete haha!

HUGE personal triumphs for me. You know folks, I always do better with my LDs when I come back to DV and talk to all you dreamers, discuss techniques.. just, you know, be in the zone. So I give all y'all partial credit Thanks xoxoxo.