lucid

Well, as any of my readers might already know, I don't really have lucid dreams. My dreams are more like that of memory fragments that are very realistic, and slightly terrifying at times.
My point is this: A week or two a friend of mine suggested that I try lucid dreaming to counteract some haunting nightmares I'd been having. I did some research on the subject of dreaming lucidly and found out the basic beginner's trick to knowing when you're in a lucid dream.
I had kind of gotten the idea from Inception, but regardless, it works ALMOST every time.
People would often say for beginners to think of a bright, easily recognizable object. After seeing that object appear you would know you're now in a lucid dream. At first I tried to think of something like, a neon green dodge ball, or fiery puppy, but nothing seemed to work, but then I watched Inception. They used small inanimate objects like a chess piece or a small top, well I then tried that the following night, and it worked!
I'm not going to say what the object (because it's very personal and I don't think the objects original bearer would appreciate me just telling everyone on the internet what object kept us such good friends).
Once I was lucid, I think it would be safe to say that all hell broke loose in my subconscious mind. At first I just got out of bed like i had woken up in the middle of the night. It was so real I was afraid I was actually awake! To safely test my theory out, I punched my brother in the face. Instead of waking up, his entire head was dismembered and the things inside it spread all over the wall.
I felt so amazing, so I shot a blast of fire at the wall and flew out after my large, white Angel wings had sprouted from my back.
I was drawn to my school for some reason, so I smashed a whole in the ceiling and landed in the cafeteria. It was dark except for a few candles here and there. In the middle of the room was one of my good friends, uh, Rayne. Before I continue I should mention that she is a very well behaved teenage girl, who would never do anything bad past... okay, at the moment I can't think of anything bad she would do, but anyways...
She was laying in the middle of the room with a syringe in her arm. I rush over to her and hold her up due to the fact that she didn't eve look like she was breathing. I pick her up and she begins laughing like a maniac.
She holds up another syringe in my face. "Dude," she says tiredly. "You should... totally, try this stuff!"
'What the hell is it?!" I asked concernedly.
"HEROINE!!"
Then I realized I was in a dream and I pulled a Daedric Dagger out of nowhere and stabbed my leg. The next thing I know I wake up screaming, because I was pinched my leg so hard that I started to ooze blood.
Anyways, that was my first successful attempt at lucid dreaming. Hopefully in the future I will try to have longer and more intense dreams. I'll also being doing some research in shared dreams and will attempt one of those.
Dekaron, signing off!

"The Spacefairy Porthole"
Dec 21 2006 when I first started keeping a dream journal, this one is very memorable.

It starts off I am in a spaceship and I'm recieving instructions on how to run the controls by this older man. He's kind of like a tour guide giving instructions to a bunch of newcomers on the spaceship. He's giving a speech to all of the "tourists" of the ship. I'm supposed to read the instructions but I decide to put that off and explore the spaceship even though I was given some assignment...after I promise to read I put them aside. Up ahead is a giant glass window where we can view where the spaceship is going. I am astounded at the magnificant view that the window gives. I walk up to the glass and I'm closer than anyone, suddently a beautiful giant blue whale bumps into the glass, the tourguide comments "Oh that's just some occasional debree we get here and then" the whale is beautiful, and is swimming through space. When no one is looking I decide to head off through one of the doors and explore.

I go down a neverending hallway, which at one point I see my family but they're in line for a movie, even though there is nobody else in line and they're not actually...going anywhere. I try to tell my father this, that there is no line- but he is convinced that he has to wait in line therefore convincing my family this and I have to leave them there to their own doom. I continue through this strange hallway which is sort of interdimensional until I come to the library. I enter into what is the most beautiful library I have ever seen, with white floors and white walls and white marble everywhere. There are millions and millions of books, but I am caught off gaurd again when I see what is a beautiful marble mantlepiece. I walk towards the mantlepiece, Suddenly a beauitful fairy appears with curly brown hair and a beautiful dress- all I remember is she was so beautiful and made a twinkling noise. Suddenly her bare feet are enmeshed in leaves, and a sort of wreath of roots and leaves forms directly in front of her.

She tells me to look, and I look into the wreath and can see in it. Then she directs me to "Jump!" Meaning jump into this wreath where there is a hole- like a porthole. I look in and then I jump into it- I am in for three seconds, which seem to be for a millenium, as you go through time slows. I am falling down through- kind of like Alice's rabbit hole, I see these giant rocks and formations and I guess like those ancient ruins, these rocks are floating in a beautiful heavenly space, there is grass and moss and different planes of grass. It's bright I first land on a floating island, all around is sort of a grey starry mist, but as I pass through- it is as if a glimpse is more than ten minutes...there are whales floating around everywhere, beautiful large whales and floating stones... I stay here for awhile and then I jump off and continue through the hole until I land face down in a pyramid.

Here I am a slave, I have to move these certain rocks around and a woman is the queen, a cruel evil woman who has a whip and a gun. There are certain levels in the inside of this pyramid. On the top are two chairs- for the queen and king, then it slopes downward to where the common people go and then there is a sort of cliff, where you cant see the slaves working on the bottom level. We're all in a line and we're working on these ropes...or something. The queen, rarely goes down the steps to where the slaves are. My friends who are next to me decide to escape, they pull a stone out of the cliff and find a passageway into another place where they go in all first before me. I try to follow but my hips get stuck. They escape..

Then the queen comes down. She sees that I haven't been working constantly and comes towards me with her gun and whip in hand. I close my eyes and tuck my knees to my chest while she circles around me knowing that at any moment she might shoot me- she taunts me and makes fun of this moment. Then suddenly I jump up and grab the gun. I run to the right where there is a gaurd and I shoot him in the arm. then I continue running. I continue along the hall and yet again I see my father- but just my father- I tell him that he has to run because there's someone after me. I want his protection but he demands that he is in line and has to wait- this is in a sort of grey carpeted realm and he is standing in front of a door to a kind of black void. So I ignore him .

I continue running and can hear the queen behind me, she is close and I see a door and I pray to myself that it is the library. I run to the door and open and then I slam it before the queen catches up. Yet I know she could come in soon, so I have to hurry, I discard everything and search and search until I find that magical fireplace mantle where I know she appeared. I pray and pray, APPEAR APPEAR! then instead of the fairy- the magic porthole appears. I jump in quickly and find myself BACK in the spaceship. There i am holding the instructions. I think to myself that I could live here but the only place I'll ever be happy is my home. ....I keep thinking about home and then the hole appears I jump into it and I wake up with a start in my bed. I get up and go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, for a few moments I dont remember anything= and then it hits me- I remember the whole dream.

"Time Warp" Jan 1st 2012

There was a knock at Ryan's door. I went outside then i heard myself from inside the house. I hid then realized I could zip away or time travel. I figured out how to astral project myself into other dimensions. This was key to the next epic dream which was like living another life. When I was aware of this I committed your to dream memory, it was in the future. Beyond 2012 and my brother was going to be trapped in a time warp so I had to save him. I used my special powers to become invisible and I ap'd across a road covered in ice that sensed or human energy. They could not sense me unless I was in front of them and touching the ice. These men in yellow astronaut like suits with helmets etc. they may have thought I was an alien because I was invisible or maybe they knew who I was.

There was a huge collapse of a football stadium just like a movie. That may have been earlier, then there was an attack like an unseen force of destruction. Aliens? I remember how I used the cellphone as w a way to warp, but I'm not sure if those were tapped.

I think I may have been caught or rode in a "police" vehicle. They drove hover cars that were Circular with rubber legs or something and could sense life. The whole area was dead and humanity was being wiped out like in a time warp and controlled or I fear channeled to other bodies ?


"Glitch" Feb. 9 2009

Last Night: I am in bed, and then I am being awakened. I am conscious and choose my escape method. I feel the force of spinning in my body, and slip out then the Shadow begins poking me::In the ribs, back, thigh, stomach, arms, anywhere it hurts me and I continue avoiding the pain and knowing I cannot just 'let' it torture me because it obviously 'wants' me to struggle, so masochistic. I know there are four anonymous demon names which I am not aware of, although I know there are four demon names before me....and I am then suddenly under my bed on the floor- I feel the cold wooden floor against my skin and I am laying with my side and face on the floor, I am UNDER the bed...it was so real and terrifying....the poking and pinching begins again and I begin calling out 'Aaaah Aahh' sometimes I can hear it, and it's like I am moaning through the parallel astral dimensions. I wake up and think, although that was horrible I think I can experience worse....

The Night Before: I am once again boarding the plane and then the plane takes off, then I am waiting to board, then I am traveling in air, next to people. There are companions. It's just non-stop boarding then getting off...and then on. I am climbing through a tall building that is never-ending with secret rooms- this large building is a metaphor for a Magical Asylum. It has rooms for memories of people that passed and people being born. My mother has a room with paintings of her children and who she wanted us to be....

The Magical Asylum and The Airplane metaphor is a dream I have been having almost nightly, getting on a plane and traveling...and then this stupid crazy Magical Asylum in a dark city at night. I am trapped, it's like a life or death...like they are trying to make us Immortal and crazy or something and I keep trying to escape and make friends with the patients then like, I escape and become a con artist or I steal things from the Asylum....or tell their secrets like a spy it's very fun those dreams but the neverending rooms like dreams are overwhelming and make me dizzy. I also have dreams about boarding schools, of course, magical boarding schools with a Witch as the Headmistress and yeah...those dreams are hard to remember when I wake up.

"Little Brother" DEC 14 2010

My recent dream was very different than usual dreams. I was with my younger brother, who is usually very mature and articulate. In this dream it was like he was a really young boy, like nine or so, and kind of vulnerable. His vulnerability just showed. I was with him on the shore with a crowd of people, once again it was in a tropical climate and then I told some people, maybe parents or caretakers that we were venturing toward the shore to see the waves. I was with him, and suddenly the waves rushed in and people were panicking. I quickly took control and became the mother of my brother, I told him to hurry back from the water just before it started to flood. Then this person, I think it was my dad character, said to take my brother and flee because it was crowded, and we needed to get away before the floods got to us. We were walking along the road in the dark. The further we moved away from the sea the more I became the mother. But then, suddenly I became possessive. I had him in really nice clothes and he was with me, but everything was up to my "vision" of him and how much I loved him, while putting my interests first. I remember I took him with me, and him being kind of incoherently innocent, smiled as we enjoyed a rich people's party. I was dressed in designer clothes and acting wealthy and superior.

And i wanted him to look wealthy to project both of our worth. I've never been this way in real life but it made me analyze the issue of parenthood and possessiveness. Also, I think the ocean may have an emotional level for how much I care about my brother...and with my mom not being stable right now I do feel protective of him while not feeling like I can truly protect him. And with my mom sick, it's even harder. He's becoming an adult, so this is even stranger to me that I should dream of him being so little. Of course, the worst part was I think during the end my self got so consumed in escapism that I lost sight of him and ended up in my own world and he was left behind. I don't know, I never cared about someone as much as my brother. I know he cares about me a lot too, and it's hard to express how much you love someone when it's family sometimes, because you're with them all the time. I still live at home aside from college, and he's going to college next year.

Overall it was a really deep and revealing dream, but on so many levels the part about me in this over-protective possessive role while it seemed to feel good as the "mother" I retrospectively think of it as entirely wrong. I have wondered sometimes if my mother became this way too...or if it's common under stress or normal circumstances. I also think I've always wanted him to think of me as a role model, and I've felt I let him down sometimes. Feeling like I want to protect my younger brother, as I always have, it's tough when he's growing up and I worry about him. He's so rebellious and craving independence, and I'm just someone who cares about him. But deep down, isn't caring better than being protective? Even if that boy in the dream wasn't like him, I've had another dream that scared me to the core. I called my brother and his voice was creepily childish and confused, and my first thought was "he's in trouble, it's not him"

I wonder sometimes, it's like I have all these dreams of his childhood self when I was struggling, images of him crying when I looked into a mirror at my face, I see his face instead. What are my dreams telling me? That I need to be a better sister?

"Gangsta" 2009
I remember it much like snapshots of different moments. In the beginning I was on a mission. Then I was watching a video that was made for me by two men, who were dressed in dark hoodies. It was them talking about how they loved me, but I wasn't sure I should love them because they were gangsters. Then I was at a young man's house, who trying to get me alcohol and to drink alcohol despite I was talking to my dad, who was laying on the couch dreaming. I remember the government found out I did something illegal, maybe I fell in love. Then I was in a garage type place and this rich man who traveled a lot said he had been looking for me, and that I couldn't get away from him. He started firing at me and I dodged all the bullets then I ran, and I got on a train and ended up where no one could find me, not even my family. I was walking through a downtown area in a black coat looking up at the architecture, there was probably a fountain and it was fall or winter. I had a feeling I would meet someone, that I would still fulfill my mission despite that I had left everything behind, it was a new life.

"Ascension" 2009 October

I am on a subway. The train screeches. I'm with people, we're underground. I make it to the bottom, there must've been an elevator. I take the stairs to the top. I'm in my house, a man is with me on the porch who tries to attack me. Then he shifts and evolves into a friend. He wanted to tell me the secret truth.
I'm in a spaceship with horrible people doing horrible things to me. I keep coming back to a 'game' where I'm a baby being fed bad food and sung aweful lullabies to grow into a slave. I write a letter to the heavens, and tell them what I know of this. That I don't understand why I am being put through the game and what I truly want. I'm with two people, a man and a woman. The man thinks I'm his slave. The man tells me something, the woman is suspending herself. I make a better impression on them, the man thinks he is like God?
I'm in a space station type place. There's a sick boy with me. I've been given pills in the shape of the solar system. A nurse comes into my bedroom and I feel upset about this. A girl is sitting in my bed and she is talking about the aliens. I tell her they are real, it's just a matter of perspective. I see a tirangle spaceship and think about another dream about the triangle spaceship, desert, and mars.

I'm on a huge spaceship and we're looking out into space. A chinese man and a wise scientist. One of them throws open the space door. They hold onto the sides, 'what are you doing?' a man asks. He says 'I'm liberating them'. We decide to let go and are sucked into the stars then spit out on the otherside. But it's not what the boy thought it would be. He reminds me of someone. Then I'm hovering above a spaceship that's on a planet, and it's making 'spew spew spew' noises and I hear a rock music song.
I am strong when I face the attacker, I wrestle him and my dad yells at him 'what are you doing?' he says I came to tell her the truth. There was a contract you signed that you werent meant to into slavery. The system brought him there. Then he realized he was supposed to be my friend and became nice. So much happened within this and it was all so vivid and surreal, like the most craziest dream I've ever had. It may have flowed in sequence but not when I woke up. It was definitely centered around ascension.

This dream was interesting and futuristic like many of my dreams. I plan on posting my most memorable ones periodically.

March 29, 2011

"All you need is a foreign tour guide, and this guide will take you through the map of dreams--to any parallel earth in time."

We were in a room I had been before, fleeting glimpses of past and future swirled around with magical glimpses of surreal and primal wants.

I walked along a city, there were tall highways that reached up into the sky.

I entered this large building in France. Perhaps in Paris, France. "How did you get in here?" Someone asked me. I told them I had a tour guide.

The place was a giant museum...basically, an empty chamber with towering walls of black marble, etched into the marble was locations, names, identities. Something about it was mystical, mythical, unsettling. They were busy, people rushed through but I was in awe of the names. I knew I had to look at them. They looked like the names of vets of a war too, like in DC.

There was more, but I don't remember it all.

Then I had an intensely sexual run in with someone, that stayed with me.

So this girl asked me how I got there, and I told her because I couldn't help it I was so excited...she was younger, and she asked how she could get a foreign tour guide so she could travel between realms as well.

The oddest thing about the dream was that I had a gut feeling I was dreaming. But what made me mad to them was that I thought it was a dream! This happens a lot in my dreams, dream people think I'm crazy when I realize or tell them I'm dreaming. I didn't tell anyone it was a dream, but I knew.

Then I heard, finally, "That's it. We're going in and getting her out." She sounded and looked like Hillary Clinton.

Suddenly I was pulled like through a tunnel, I saw men in black and they started chasing me. I jumped and had a fleeting glimpse of the room and bed as if it was just another fleeting dream. Then I woke up with a jolt realizing, wait--no this was my true reality.

I can only describe this in limited detail, if I could make a movie of those fleeting glimpses with a good budget---it would be awe inspiring. My dreams are like films, lucid, colorful full of light and beauty as well as sound and motion.

I don't want to go into alot of detail, because I don't know how to make this entry private. So I'll put what I can in as vague a way as possible.

Last nights LDs were memorable in several ways, mainly in the technique used to attain lucidity:

1. All 3 were successful DEILDs (which is usually really hard for me, I ordinarily just DILD)
2. All 3 were successful gender swaps
3. In the 3rd one, I didn't lose lucidity too soon, via some old tried and true techniques

First of all, concerning DEILDs, I was on a roll last night. They took little effort, and happened quickly! I went straight from a few moments of hypnogogic images and then boom, lucid. My self-awareness was consistent from being awake, to the images, then the LD. I was so happy, but I kept getting that "feeling tired within the dream, leading to waking up" problem. Even dream blindness one time. I just kept yelling "More Lucidity Pleeeeeease" and it would lock it in for a few moments. One time, I felt that tiredness and was afraid I might wake up, so I did my mirror trick: I lifted my hands and willed a mirror to appear. I looked at my reflection, opened my eyes REALLY WIDE, and they started changing shape and getting all deformed, which locked in the lucidity. But it wasn't until the 3rd LD, that in "that moment", you know, during a naughty LD, where you wake up too soon, I just kept on shouting "More Lucidity" every few seconds. It was a little high maintenance, but I didn't wake up until the deed was complete haha!

HUGE personal triumphs for me. You know folks, I always do better with my LDs when I come back to DV and talk to all you dreamers, discuss techniques.. just, you know, be in the zone. So I give all y'all partial credit Thanks xoxoxo.

I know there was more to this dream but its rather faded. The part I remember most is i was in a dim room, in a bed, and there was a hooded woman with her hands on my head. At first it was supposedly pleasant but as time went on i could tell that she was a witch or satanist, and when i began to say the name of Jesus over and over, her hands began to burn and smoke. I can't remember exactly what she said but it was about how Satan had power and was strong. With each time i said Jesus it became harder for me to say it again. Even as i type this i'm feeling a pressure against my head, and i know it isn't just some 'nightmare' that it could be more...but im grasping at straws on what it means exactly, that im under attack? or that someone is trying to manipulate me?

And now for something completely different. I'll increase production quality in the future. This was just a proof of concept.

??.1.2012

A Real Gem (DILD)

★★★★★

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

She looked at me longingly, as I stood from my seat, the crowds still pouring into the stadium around us. Smiling lovingly, I reassure her: ”It’s alright. I’m just leaving to have a bit of fun. These kinds of gigs don’t really appeal to me.”

Like the dear she is, my girlfriend understands immediately and returns my affectionate smile, ”Go on, then.” Finally, with her blessing I take to the air, gliding up, above the crowds, out to the mountaintop. Rich, sapphire skies and lush, emerald trees rise to greet me as I leave the dark, grey, architecture of the stadium below me. I land in the arena for the previous event, a large, rectangular area paneled with planks of polished cypress and other beautiful grains. Briefly, I think back to the highlighter duel, and it’s laser-tag-like shenanigans, but it doesn’t take me long to start having a different kind of fun.

Whipping out a deck of old yu-gi-oh cards, I summon myself a Blue Eyes White Dragon, and sure enough, one appears before my eyes in a brilliant flash of swirling light, but this is no hologram. It’s as real as I am, I muse in wonderment, approaching the beast with an outstretched hand. He, Yes, he, accepts my challenge for control and allows me to jump on his back. Without warning, the dragon ploughs forward and leaps off the mountainside, throwing us both into an ever quickening plunge. I hold on for everything I’m worth as the ground below rushes up to greet me. Yet, I have nothing to fear, for the dragon is as controlled as it is deadly. Before the two of us can become a single, red smear on the rock-face, the diamond-eye’d beauty opens it’s jagged, almost crystalline wings. We’re flying.

What follows is an exhilarating journey, through clouds and rolling plateaus covered in picturesque, jade grass, stone windmills and thatch cottages. It’s all I can do to keep my grip on his smooth, armored back--especially traveling at such speeds--but I manage alright. My reward is the experience of a lifetime: surreal, exhilarating, yet strangely calming. In this moment, I’m at peace with myself and the dreamworld around me.

Colour Legenda:
Setting| Technique used | Dream (lv1) | Dream (lv2) | Lucid Dream | Notes
************************************************** ****************

I'd woken up in the middle of the night from the sound of storm outside. I lay awake for a few hours, but finally managed to fall asleep.

Dream 1:
I had ordered something that the neighbour opposite us had or whatever, so I went over to his place but he still had to go pick it up himself. So we got into his car (he had 2 baby girls in there too) and drove to the place, which was like some kind of warehouse. Inside, I just took some time to look around, and a really skinny girl caught my attention. She was bent over doing something, facing away from me, and her hotpants showed a little opening right at her butt hole. I wondered if she knew, and if she'd gotten raped because of it.

Then my attention swayed towards another peculiar item: my sister's severed head. On a display-thingie. (for those of you who have seen the film "Return to OZ", it looks like the witch's cabinet of heads) So I looked at it, and it looked back at me! Not like a doll looks back at you, but she literally turned her eyes towards me. I freaked out and looked away again. ..only to look back at it, of course. It was looking away from me, but as I was looking she turned her whole head towards me. Still freaked out, something dawned on me: I might be dreaming, this was just too freaky to be real. So I went over to her (not fully lucid, just the hunch occurred to me) and she opened her mouth and had vampire fangs.

I woke up, thinking how absurd that was and rolled over.. ..straight into SP!

It lasted a whole lot longer than it normally does, and I felt a constant vibration rather than separate waves. I saw all sorts of things but they flashed before my eyes so fast I couldn't really make out any of them. My eyes were rapidly blinking, by the way, I couldn't control it. And then it was over, I opened my eyes and..

Dream 2:
I felt myself being pulled up to a sitting position. My room was darker than it should have been, so I went "Alrighty, let's see what I've got in store for myself this time!" and walked out my door into my living room. It was.. ..different in an awesome way!! My furniture was rearranged into the coolest configuration!! I'll try to reconstruct it in The Sims 3 tonight and post a picture!

I also noticed I had a back yard (which I don't, because I live in an apartment), and swings inside the back porch. So I swung and swung again and let go and soared right through the glass window, into the back yard. From here on, I couldn't actually leave, so I just dropped to the ground and floated up. This time I was just going to hover like some hovering doofus. I went up up up all the way, I could see half the world! Then I figured maybe that's a bit much. After all, space is just mostly emptiness. So I lowered myself again and landed on some rooftop, just as the inhabitant of the house I landed on came home.

He, too, was flying, but he flew up to his 2nd-story window upstraight, not swimming like I do. So before he went inside I just went "HEY!!" and he replied with a greeting and joined me on the rooftop. He raised an eyebrow. "..what are YOU doing here??" I just shrugged. "Doesn't matter, this is a dream, so.." He looked at me in awe. "This is a dream!? ..huh!" he got excited too about the idea.

And then my leg decided to go spasmic and I woke up.

A few days worth.

Was in yoga class with kara. Rain was teaching the class and Kara gave her a yoga cd to play. Rain kept stopping the class and telling stories. I just wanted to do yoga. People kept telling Kara that they liked her music. I was a little jealous. I was at the yoga studio and the girl that teaches when kris teaches was there. We flirted a little and I sat and wrapped my legs around her. I turned to her And we slowly kissed. I woke.*

I had a wild later where I imagined a scene and was teleported into some house. I kept exploring and stabilizing the dream. It was a house with rainbow type colors. I don't remember too much as I did not write the dream down until later in the night.*


Day 2:
Was in the mountains with everyone. The monks were putting on a show. There were these cool apple fruit drinks that were being served. They were the most delicious drinks I have ever tasted. It looked like we were in the mountains of the gods. Later for some reason I had to be home. I didn't want to leave and felt extremely at peace when at home.*

Day 3:
It was fathers last night and he came to visit. He didn't want to go out and neither did I. We were both tired so he just hung out with us. I met noticing the extra tiredness of myself. Our apartment was completely different too. He went around to check the place out.*

I'm a police officer! I walk down this mall, until I see one of my... shall we say acquaintances? I walk into the shop he's in, and see that he's talking to a very attractive girl. I walk towards them, but when I come close, I begin to walk slowly and pretend to be just walking somewhere else. I try to eaves drop on them, curious of what they're talking about, when he sees me and gives me a push. "What are you doing?!" He looks very angry "Nothing.." I say, giving him one of my trademark genious lines. He pushes me again. "Look, you should know that I'm a police officer now.. and it's a big deal to assault a police officer." He pushes me again. "I'm warning you, you can get in alot of trouble.." He pushes me again. "Look! That's it.. I'm going to have to arrest you." He pushes me again, but this time runs off. I chase after him, sturggling to keep up, thankfully he seems to be running around in circles around the shoping centre carpark. I grab hold of him, and tell him to turn around so I can put the handcuffs on him and arrest him. He's uncompliant, so I shove him to the ground, revenge is sweet. "Spread out on the ground!" I shout, I reach back for my handcuffs. I look to my left, and to my right, my belt is empty! You've got to be kidding me I think. I try to mantain my confidence while I tell him to keep still, so he doesn't find out. Typically, however, he does, and runs off far far away. I'm faced with a menu like in tom clancy's rainbox six vegas 2: "start from checkpoint, return to main menu" I choose start from checkpoint and find myself back in the shopping centre, with the guy just about to take off. This time I look down, and find my belt with the items I need. A tazer, a gun, handcuffs, and a big instruction manual. They're in awkward places though, for example my gun is WAY down my leg, making it very hard to reach, my handcuffs are at the back of my belt, as if I had stretchable hands. My tazer, is in a good place, but it's still wrapped in plastic, with the batteries waiting to be places inside. I decide to fix everything up, and wait for him to get away, so I can restart. I choose start from checkpoint once again, and begin running after my acquaintance. I look back and see two other police officers running about ten metres behind me, in the same direction. However, they turn out to be trying to get someone else, I ask for help anyway. "Can you guys split up, one of you can help me, and the other can still get your guy." The seem to agree, and the fat one of the two turns to come my way, but I say "Can I have the skinny one, there's running involved." Even though it doesn't make sense, considering they were both running at the same rate before, and we all have to run anway. They don't seem to mind though, and the fitter one comes with me. We both run after him, and we're very close, when he changes directions all of a sudden. My partner doesn't miss a beat, but I'm put off, and it takes me a while to get back on track. I turn the corner and see the guy has already been handcuffed and is being read his rights. "Book him dano" I say, trying to make a joke out of it, and hide the fact that I'm sad about not proving myself as a cop. He's taken away, so I look around for another oppurtunity to prove myself , this time with my tazer drawn so they'll listen to me. I have no luck, and I wake up

-next dream-

I can't remember how, but I become lucid, someone tells me I''m pretty sure. I summon a badger. I wake up.

-next dream-

I become lucid again, can't remember how. This time I focus on deilding after I wake up from a lucid. Doesn't work.

-Next dream-
I have this bow and arrow thing, and I'm sitting in the sunroom of my house with dad next to me, with it drawn. It pulls back REALLY far! I ask dad where I can shoot it. He points to the door leading into the sunroom, the one with wire mess through the holes from the frame. The wooden arrow snaps in half (not sure why) before I can shoot it, but I release the string with tension on it anyway, and suprisingly it fly straight for the door, and hits dead centre in the mesh. "See, I told you it was accurate" dad says.

-next dream-

I know this one was fairly long, I can't remember what happend, but I was in like an animated world with talking animals, and they wanted me to do something..

Self Esteem

We were skating around some strange place with my friends. There has been a giant recent loss in self esteem for some reason in the whole world. Me and the guys decide to hang out in someone's house which I remember as being pretty well furnished. Since I was the most confident in the group, I had to go get the snacks. Everything is kinda dirty on the way out, I arrive at this guys store. He's a fat middle euro guy behind a glass kind of shield. Asks me what I want and the first thing that I ask for doesn't need to be paid for so then he spends a long time complaining about how I never pay for anything but then I remember that I have to get snacks so I get a shit ton of candy bars and two giant bags of mini resee's and then I poke fun at him "I never buy anything?" we joke and laugh and on the tv a news story comes on about the crisis in the world's loss of self esteem. I found it upon myself that I had to be a hero for the world and have more self esteem than everyone else and somehow save the day.

Rock Fights and Boarding

Was with my mom outside what kinda reminded me of a place near my house. she gets really mad at me so I have to follow her to figure it out. I get on my knees slowly and try to explain my recent anger. She silently brings me on this double decker coach bus which was the local transit in the dream the bus drive is mad at us fr talking forever but the new money system was hard to figure out. the door finally goes through and we go to the mall which is much more grandiose and modern looking than it already is. She walks me to rainforest cafe, all the time I was asking, with no reply what she as doing. So I guess we're gonna have a talk here. Some reason I leave, find the car and drive it back to another neighborhood. I go back to my house, which now i so a really steep hill. There is a strange knife fighting asian guy who wants to kill me. We fight for a while, swing our knives at each other, dealing out heavy blows. I have a "hunting rock" which I know with three good blows to the head will kill hi. Instead I keep aiming for his ribs...i don't want to kill him. I've hit him twice on the head and multiple times in the ribs. I hit him again in the ribs and can hear his ribs crack. He chokes up blood and goes limp. I back up a little and he jumps out. He was only pretending. He comes at me and something in my mind changes the dream is flickering and I was half waking up. I realized that I was dreaming and became lucid. Something about this lucidity was really weird though. The dream was still flickering and fading and I was still slightly waking up but I didn't try to stabilize the dream. He hit me over the head with something and I acknowledged the pain and then ignored it. I give him one more great hit in the ribs. he's done. I think his father was around to pick him up and go. I forget it's a dream...I get out of the house and the down hill looks really good as a long-boading thing. The hill is really traffic-y and cars are going down really fast in waves toward this tol booth thing. I see that my longboard is down there leaning on a tree, when I get back there I realize tha I left something up at the house, I start walking back tot he house but decide I don't need it, look back and my longboard is gone. I freak out for a long time but then my mom drives by and gives me a backpack with my longboard. its some move of reconciliation from an earlier fight. I go down the hill boarding

Herpes

. I'm with this one black girl that I've met, kinda chunky but I'm still diggin her. We back into an alley way get out of the car and into this door. We were in there for a long time and through a window I can see my car. While we're talking I see that a bunch of cars are trying to pass mine but they just stop. They're trying to pass it on both sides but my car is blocking them. I forget it and start making out with the girl in her room (which is a replica of my room). We really start going at it and were both shirtless and kissing all over. Before I take off her underwear I ask if she has herpes and she barely answers and I assume she does and I ask if she's having an outbreak, she says yes pulls down her pants and shows me it. I say I can't do it and go to get dressed. She's noticeably frustrated and angry as I walk around the room and pick up my clothes and put them on. She pulls up her pants while lying on the bed being all pissy. It was weird because there was one second where I looked at her and she was 10 times hotter than before, then it was back to normal. She wasn't ugly, just average. I go outside of the room and see that my car windows have been smashed and the whole car was stripped and pushed to the side so that people could get through. The car weakly starts on the second try but can't stay in park and the emergency break barely works. As I get back out of the car and then back into the house, I can hear her frustrated screams from inside "I get half way 3 times a week but I can't get fucked!!?" I cautiously go back inside telling her about my car and she's mad at me and tells me she can't deal with it now. I accidentally go into another room (which would've been my mom's room) but it was where her dad was sleeping. Also, I could hear one of her parents with the tv on the whole time before this but that was no big deal. The dad, with messy covers drawn over him in the dim room looks at me and says "oh its you, the [something wispy like smoke I think]" I say I am not one of those and try to head back to my car, I want to turn back and say that I lived here before they did but I don't...

I'm going to write a bit longer dream today from the past - the recall still isn't good, but at least I've returned to monophasic sleeping lately.

Mom's Diner - Just Kill Me Already
Date: August 21th, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I thought I was at home, but there were some guys from the army doing some kind of ice...thingie. There was a pool made of concrete and the guys were pouring ice-cold water into it for it to freeze. For some reason I decided to jump into the water. I didn't feel the coldness, but the water started to freeze and resist my movement right away. I asked the army guys to help me up and luckily they did help me out of the pool. I was wondering whether I should help the guys in this freezing thing they were doing, but then they started talking:
"Have you tasted mom's delicacies yet?"
"Nope."
"Well go have a taste!"

I had changed into army uniform and the place overall resembled the garrison I had been a year earlier in reality. "Mom" was apparently some diner runner there. She seemed to be really liked. She actually looked like one lady that indeed did work in the army in reality. Nobody called her mom though.

Still I had not actually seen her in the dream though (just getting ahead of myself). I was at the door of the place and there was some kind of candle rack (is it said like that?) that I managed to accidentally cause to fall. Actually this resembles again a real-life situation - in the army I did back into a flower stand and the jar where the flower were broke. I guess that embarrassing situation left strong marks into my subconscious. Anyway the "Mom" was there looking at me like I'm some kind of madman. I apologized for tipping that rack over and was relieved that I didn't break anything.

I wandered around the place a bit. There were plenty of free tables, but I didn't find any place where to order anything. I ventured even further and then realized, that the "diner", wasn't any diner but more like a department store. There were a lot of small shops and stuff. For example there was Mom's kiosk, where you could get some food for travel, at least according to it's slogan. I kept zig-zagging the place. Finally I ended up in the other side of the place and went out from there.

People were going to some stadium outside. It resembled Berlin's Olympic Stadium, at least according to my notes, even though I have no idea what Berlin's Olympic Stadium looks like. The place was shutting down because Mom was going there. I gotta say that all of the people just talking about this mom made me very curious.

I went back into the "diner"/department store and looked for the kiosk. I planned to buy couple of chocolate bars to at least have something to eat, even if not Mom's acclaimed food. But no, the place was just shutting down. One of my former classmates was there gathering up things. What, he now works there? My brain works in a fucked up way sometimes... I felt like stealing the chocolate bars, because of this unfortunately timed closing time, but I ended up deciding against it.

That was when I realized, that I had been in the store for a long time. I started to wonder whether I should be back with the dudes at the concrete pool who were doing the freezing shit. Wow, amazing consistency in my dreams. This is the kind of dreams I'd like to enjoy while lucid, dreams where everything holds together, is logical and stays consistent. Too much to ask for, I guess.

Because even while this wasn't yet lucid, the logic and consistency of it sort of died right there. I went out of the store and where was I? At the local community center's front yard. I realized that this wasn't possible. Lucidity was inevitable at that point. The dream also (unsuprisingly) really started to lose it's quality.

There's a road going in front of it and I saw multiple trucks coming there. They really drove in wildly and had the trucks slide sideways because of turning too much, etc. Some tough-looking dudes came out of the trucks when they finally had stopped. The gang surrounded me. They were armed with assault rifles, though hilariously some of them had that red end that toy guns have at the end of the barrels.

They started acting all tough on me. Me being lucid I had zero fear, so I just acted tough back. Shame I don't remember the dialogue exactly. He was pointing his rifle at me and I just dared him to shoot me. I really pushed him. I ordered him to shoot me. I wanted to die. Yet he just kept threatening, instead of doing it. I realized he was not going to do it unless I do something more drastic.

I grabbed one of his gang members under my arm and threatened him. "Unless you shoot me, your friend is gonna suffer!"

Instead of shooting me like any sane thug would have done, he just reversed it. He said that my friend is gonna die if I don't stop - and as "my friend" he referred to the guy I had just grabbed. What the fuck? That's the worst illogicality I've ever seen in a dream. Dude, it's your friend, not mine.

I resiliently kept pissing him off so he finally obliged me and pulled the trigger. The gun just clicked. It was empty. He didn't even have ammo this whole time? What a retard! Besides, this already happened in my earlier dream (I just realized this). I guess empty guns are a dream sign for me. Then again, any guns at all are a dream sign for me. Anyway, I figured that I'm not going to get killed here, so I tried to pull out a gun from my pocket using passive control, just "knowing" it is there. It didn't work.

I tried to throw myself into the ground again as I noticed that the dream was crumbling fast. I ended up into my bed in a false awakening. I did like a million reality checks and by all means I should have realized I was still dreaming, but I still went to the kitchen to look for some more evidence. Too bad I was in a tight timeframe anyway, as I woke up then.

It is now 7:28am and I am too afraid 2 go back 2 sleep

I did my 1st WILD/Lucid Dream last nite so I was TOTALLY AWAKE but u know the rest...anyway, @ 1st it was taking 4ever 4 me 2 get my soul 2 leave my body...so then I turned on my back and I kept patting my hands which I saw in a vid 2 enhance my soul to leave my body....this was going on for quite some time but I was determined NOT 2 give up.

Finally, after what seemed like forever...suddenly I actually felt my soul starting to rise out of my body...I was so geeked as I could actually feel this happening....it was such a very-very-very slow process & movement but again...I was not about 2 give up.

Finally, my body I believe got all the way right to the very tipy-tip of my body & then it just STOPPED and would not go any further...at 1st I kept doing various techniques 2 enhance my body floating up (climbing up a rope, elevator...) but @ this junction I could no longer concentrate...So, this is bothering me greatly because my body just hung there dormit like & would not 'ascend'....so then I felt my right hand floating upwards...so @ 1st i thought again it was my sould going upwards but then I realized no, it definitely was my right arm extending up in the air but not @ full extension...not my left arm because it was underneath my covers.

So now I'm like oh #### my hand is just hanging in the air....which felt like forever....and then its as though something was in the room with me...It's so weird 2 try 2 explain but its as though something was taking each one of my fingers and placing it on something?? @ this junction I'm scared-I mean really scared & my heart starts racing....so now I'm trying to calm my self & whatever happened my main focus was NOT 2 try 2 move anything more than I'm suppose 2 because remember, I'm suppose 2 be sleeping...

I wanted 2 open my eyes but I was too scared...then I felt like trying 2 grab whatever was moving my fingers but again I was too scared....so then naturally tears started streaming down the right side of my eye...just on the left side...so now i'm thinking I have 2 control my emotions....I tried as smoothly as I could 2 move my finges a bit 2 see what I could FEEL....I felt my fingers go over something?? can't explain really...and then its as though each finger was laid on something?? because my fingers weren't tired from just hanging in the air...and the object felt like a metal plate?? but was very solid 2 the touch....I was not worried one bit my fingers would slide off...

I'm not sure if its because of my tears which now I cried about 3x's or something was looking directly over me and could tell my eyelids were not moving in REM but whatever it was knew something....it left my soul was hanging @ the point it was at and would not go any further...I was a bit scared that I would get tired & move but I never got tired...

the next thing I knew my fingers were being put back in its original position but it was done with such care and very-very slowly as not to awaken?? me....and then my soul started to go right back in my body....I started to shed more tears because @ that point I felt like I failed somehow??? and my soul never fully ascended....and I wasn't sure if whatever was with me was still in my room so for some time I didn't move but then finally, I played it off and I turned over and grabbed my stuff bunny rabbit & hugges it very tightly...

My body @ that point when I went to turn over felt so heavy and then my body felt really-really weird...like my soul didn't go back all the way yet and so it felt strange within my normal body....and I kept crying more & more now so I knew this wasn't any good...so again I played it off....yawn and opened my eyes and went to the bathroom....when finish I looked in my small make-up mirror I have on the wall...and there was this white line from my eyes all the way to my ear....like my tears were made from salt...I wet my shirt and had to rub hard to get it off.

In another recent dream I had I heard someone in my bedroom give 2 command words which I cannot remember now & then PUFF just like that I saw this portal open up in the sky and thinking my soul?? came out of it and jumped back in my body....I know this because my body jumped up a bit....so i am wondering why wouldn't my body ascend all the way??? just it waiting for the command words again?? I tried everything possible to make it float all the way up and it just wouldn't go up any further....this was the 1st time I ever experienced this and words truly cannot express how it felt but something was over my bed with me and I WAS NOT ASLEEP...that I am 100% certain of....

I'm too shaken up to talk about it right now....can anyone help me with some answers please.

DreamLucidAwake

Smashing Desks

The dream started out with me, Chris, and other DCs I don't care about sitting in a class room. The teacher was teaching something, but I really did not care about it. The bell soon rang and everyone but me and Chris left. We then walked over to a couple sledge hammers leaning against the wall.

"Ready to get smashing?" Chris asked.
"What if we get caught?" I asked him.
"Well I don't go to this school, but you need a disguise." He said thinking.
"I bet if I morph into a dragon he will never know!" I said right after I became lucid.
"Alright then let's do it.!" He said excited.

I stepped back prepared myself for a morph. I did a backflip and transformed into a white dragon half way through. We both picked up the hammers and started destroying desks and stuff. It was loads of fun and I was laughing the whole time. Then the teacher came through the door. The three of us stopped and stared at each other.

"What are you two doing?" He asked calmly.
"Run." Chris said quietly.
"Holy crap run!" I yelled.

We both ran through the door on the right. As we ran down the hall I started looking for a place we could hide.

"Hide there!" I said pointing to the men's restroom on the left.

I ran up to the door first and tried to open it, but it was locked.

"It's locked!" I said.
"Just use the woman's restroom." Chris said pointing to the right.

So we both ran into the woman's restroom and hid in one of the stalls.

"Be quiet. I can heard him coming." I told Chris.

We heard the door slam open and Chris soon covered his mouth. I heard the footsteps aproach the first stall. He paused for about 5 seconds before opening it. Then he moved on to the second and paused again before opening. We were a few stalls away so we had time to think of a plan. I motioned Chris to the floor with me. Unfortunately Chris was a little too panicked and confused to understand my plan. I grabbed Chris's leg with my tail and started crawling. I timed my movement with his pauses so we could sneak out.

Once we finally got out the door we started running down a different hall and made a few turns. Then we ran into a room that looked like a hotel lobby. I stopped in the middle of the room and Chris ran off down another hall to the left.

"See you later!" He shouted back to me.

I walked up to a lady behind a desk.

"Your room is up the stairs to the right." She told me.
"Thanks!" I said and started running again.

I ran over to a staircase in the left corner of the room. I then heard what sounde like the teacher's voice and ran up the stairs really fast. I ran into my room and locked the door. For the most part it looked like my real life room. I looked for a place to hide. To the left I noticed an extension to my room. I walked into a closet like area and found a door in there. I opened the door and behind it was another door.

"What the hell?." I said.

I then opened the second door and behind it was another door.

"Are you serious? Another door?" I said annoyed with my dream.

I opened the third door and it actually led somewhere. It looked like a dark and creepy basement with its own touch of evil. Just looking at it seemed to generate fear itself. It reminded me of a place from an old nightmare. I closed the door and decided not to go in there because I didn't feel like it was worth the trouble.

I started panicking again when I realized I was out of hiding places. The door handle started jiggling and I decided I need to transform back to human. I stood in place and focused on becoming my old human self. When the transformation was over I looked at myself in third person. I had clothes on and human arms and legs. I still had a dragon face, hands, feet, and a tail though.

"That's not right..." I said looking at my mixed form.

Despite the lock the door opened up and the man came in. I then ran towards the window and planned to make a jump for it. I crashed through the window, but the man grabbed me back the back of my shirt and pulled me in. I then prepared for my punishment.

"Hey! That was pretty good joke you pulled on me earlier!" He said laughing.

I woke up after that.

Club Ambush

Everything from what I can remember in this dream was lucid. It was night and I was walking down a city street. I had made plans with a few DCs to meet at club. It had something to do with ambushing an enemy that was using the club as a base. I was carrying a yellow bag full of equipment that they said would be necessary and a couple dice. I walked over to a lavender building that only stood out because of a short man in black guarding it. I had to find a way to sneak the bag past him so I could get the equipment in.

I walked up to him and held out the pair of dice. The dice were supposed to act as a sort of permission slip to grant access to the club. I dropped the dice on the ground to distract him and tossed the bag over his head as he bent over to pick up the dice. Luckily he didn't notice and let me in. I grabbed the bag and walked into an area that looked like a restaurant. There were three DCs sitting at a table looking at me. One was Chris, the second was the elf, and the third was my "contact". So I walked over to the table and sat down between the contact and the elf.

They told me that there was going to be an ambush. I think they said something about an enemy ambush planned at the same time of our ambush. To pass the time we played a game with a stack of gold coins. I took a small stack and counted them.

"1, 2, 5, 7..."
"I think that's 4." The elf said.
"1, 4, 3, 2... Okay I can't count when I'm dreaming." I said dissapointed.

So we started playing the game which involved flicking one gold coin into the other. I soon started thinking about the ambush again.

"Guys, I'm not sure if I can use my elements when I'm in my human form." I said.
"Why not?" Chris asked.
"You better use your elements!" The elf said threatening me.

So then I decided to keep my mouth shut. I thought about morphing into a dragon at that moment. I decided not to though because it would blow our cover. As I was thinking about it I saw two men with guns drop down from the cieling on the other side of the room. The ambush had begun and my three allies got up from the table. The elf took out one of the guys with some sort of shadow spell. Apparently we weren't expecting them to have guns so we had to make a run for it. Chris took the lead and guided us towards the door to a storage room that also had a backdoor. By this point a few more enemies had arrived and were shooting at us.

Chris was trying to open the backdoor, but it was locked. A man then came towards the storage room with an smg aimed at us. I quickly ran past my friends and let out a huge burst of earth energy as the man fired at us. I was able to use this energy to provide a shield as Chris worked to open the door.

"Yeah! I knew you could do it!" The elf said congratulating me.

It wasn't very easy keeping the shield up as bullets pounded into it though. Chris finally opened the door and the three of them ran outside. I released my shield when the man stopped to reload. I ran to the backdoor and followed my team. Rather than a city, the door led deep into a forest near a river. The man chased after me and fire a quick short burst. A bullet then went into my left leg and I fell on the ground. The elf then turned around and used some sort of explosive spell on the man. Chris helped me back on my feet and we started running again. My leg was seriously hurting by this point though and I was limping. We ran a short distance along the river before coming to a bridge that crossed the river. The ran down under the bridge and tried my best to follow. I stumbled and fell down the river bank. I was lying at the water's edge in too much pain to move and my vision blurring. I could see a couple men aproaching and they started firing in my direction. Chris soon rushed in and dragged me under the bridge. I could then see the elf casting lightning bolts at the soldiers to provide protection. This was the last thing I saw before I passed out.

When I woke up there was an very strong pain in my left leg. It wasn't like where my leg falls asleep and there is dull pain all over. In one point of my leg it felt like I was being stabbed. It hurt so bad I almost wanted to scream. Luckily it went away after about 5 minutes.

End

January 18, 2012

Synopsis: I ride a tree, become lucid, talk to DCs and meet Tracy who told me how to get to my forest

Make the Water Still
In a giant backyard some bad guy mocks me, my sisters and my friend, some guy I don't even know. The bad guy makes my friend climb a tree, and asks me to do the same. I don't mind! Not sure how this is punishment, but I wanted to climb the highest tree.

So I fly up to the highest tree and sit on its branch and look down on every one below. My friend tries to sit next to me but he just falls off as the tree starts to sway back and forth. Some people below thought it was funny, so they pulled and tugged on my tall tree. But nothing made me move from my tree post.

I get this idea "im out of here!". And me and my tree ride away. Its covered in fur and its branches reach the ground and become fuzzy feet. Its like a giant cat tree. Through the fields, down an old england ally, and into a mansion. I noticed my cat tree at some point had no legs - I was floating. The cat tree gets smaller and smaller until finally im just holding onto kitty. I give her a kiss and put her down in the fancy bedroom. I guess Im on my own now.

I run outside and scream "im lucid dreaming!". I was just so happy to be lucid dreaming again. I'm in a courtyard and there's a lot of DCs. Im surprised because lately when Im lucid DCs disappear. I wanna know what DCs know, so I pop the question

"Hey, did you know that this is a dream?" "Hey did you know that this is a dream?"

Some of them look at me strange, some are happy with the news. An older black man with a luisiana accent says "You're right. Look at the details. Everything is so clear."

He seemed aware, the other DCs gather around him to understand what he means. So I asked him "Are you an expression of my higherself?"

"No! You are"

At the time I thought he was saying that he was the dreamer and Im the DC.

I go back inside and run around the mall, and watch a sex-ed video that was kinda gross because it featured a woman with tiny crabs, literally living inside of her. I run past a room owned by an older women, and the room was called Ayurveda. It was all the way in the back of the mall in a lonely dark corrider. The corrider looked boring so I didnt go inside - I THINK I MISSED AN AWESOME OPPORTUNITY HERE.

I leap back outside instead, skipping my way across a grassy field into a forest - yeah this is more exciting. But the forest was actually kinda creepy. Everything was eating everything else. Snakes attacking, animals growling and howling. I met a DC there. She seemed aware.

She told me that this wasn't the forest I'm trying to get to. My forest is peaceful, animals don't eat other animals in my forest and she reminded me of this. She told me its possible for me to go there now.

"How can I get to my forest?"

She takes me to the bank of the river and instructed me "Make the water still". The water was filled with rippling waves, so all I have to do is - make it still.

"Oh I see, you want me to meditate? Ive never done that in a dream before"

We sat down together by the rivers bank, and I did my first dream open eye meditation. I was nervous doing "nothing" would make my dream melt away. But it remained stable. I noticed the incredible details. But there was also a fuzzyness, like my side vision was fuzzy so I can only focus on whats in front of me. The water was like silver. And not too far from the forests edge was suburbia. I sat there trying to still the water for what felt like minutes - who knows it could have been ten seconds.

But nothing I did stilled the water.

So we left the forest and she led me back inside, I guess to see something. As we walked through the mall I tried to memorize every detail of her being. Her short bob hair with strawberry brown stripes, her petite height. We went into a bedroom and I think shes pulling a box out - cant remember.

I ask out of the blue "Is it true when people die they end up in a dream?" I guess she reminded me of a spirit I saw years ago.

She looked taken back and sad by my question. "Sort of, but not exactly."

"What's your name?"

"Its Tracy"

She starts to tell me something, but then I felt a "switch", I knew I had woken up and left the dream, and instead was only imagining I was still dreaming - if that makes any sense. Tracy was still trying to tell me something, but now it makes no sense, her appearance becomes unstable.

"I cant (hear you), I'm waking up! Im waking up!"

Her face, her hair, it keeps changing, but I dont want to forget.

"Wait tell me your name again!"

"Tracy"

I wake up. But it turned out to be a false awakening - hypnagogic imagery. Then I woke up for real.