non-lucid

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7/2/2020A
Before bed I did multiple prayers to increase recall, vividness and to remember to used SSILD after first couple alarms. Also recalled the events of the day while falling asleep and meditated till I fell asleep
Fell asleep at 2AM.
Woke up at 7AM, Dont remember
Woke up at 8:30AM, with recall, didnt write down tags.
Woke up at 9:20AM, with recall. Wrote down tags for 2 dreams and tried to use SSILD to fall back asleep for 10 minutes before alarm went off again.

What to work on: Writing down tags upon waking from alarm and using SSILD
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Dream 1(Sexy time in Alyx building and quiet room): I was with this woman I have had recent sexual relations with and she really wanted to have sex in my room. My siblings were home so I was very hesitant and she didnt seem to care. She even made loud moans to show interest and I was telling her to be more quiet. Her eyes lit up and she told me she hadnt done butt stuff before so she wanted to do that. I wanted to get a condom so we left my room and did something near the kitchen and then when we came back the whole scene had transformed into something like from Half-Life Alyx. She climbed up these pipes to get to a platform with 2 ladders. I told her to kick one down like we do in the game but she didnt and she jumped down the other side. She still wanted to get sexy over there.

Dream 2(zombie wave shooter, 3 sinks, leela): Maybe a continuation of the last dream but I dont remember how they were connected so I'll say its another. I was at a military looking facility. At one point I was alone and I had a few guns and I was supposed to be shooting a bunch of mercenary looking guys, just like a level in Half-life Alyx. I was overwhelmed by them and died. Later I was more on top of that building with a friend with me this time. I killed a few and then the next wave was coming. My friend was in an adjacent room and I heard him get mad that he had died. Then a big monster came out of that room and killed me. At another point I was inside the big building and was with a group of people. We were all preparing for the invasion. I was talking to someone and then leela smash was right next to me, she wanted to say hi. She got so close to my conversation that I had to stop and say hi, we discussed that she was new here and I could show her how things work. There was a 3 compartment sink so I shower her like hey the dirty things go here. I cleaned a strainer and put it in the sink next to a managerial looking person and then they told me to put it back in the sink which I had just put a few dirty dishes because thats the one with the sanitizer. I realized I messed up there.

At some point I was crawling under a desk and found a ton of hidden ammo.

First, the WILD (wake induced lucid dream) attempt (because it happened first):

As per usual, went to bed and set an alarm for 4-5 hours out. This time I went to bed around 11 PM and set an alarm for about 4 AM. I probably fell asleep around 11:20.

I woke up, peed, sat on the edge of my bed for my 15 minutes, and thought about my upcoming dream. I decided I would try to go into the spaceship I saw in the hypnagogic imagery (HI) from the night before that woke me out of my WILD attempt. I settled also on a simple mantra: "Enter," meant to mirror the immediacy of Sageous' "dive," while communicating the intention of entering the dream.

I laid down on my back in the bed and began with my mantra. I tried shifting my attention inside my head more than I have the previous days and intentionally shutting out the bodily noise (both the feeling of my body lying there and the small sounds in the room). I probably only laid there about 20 minutes this time and encountered some of the usual problems (swallowing, an itch at one point). I found myself becoming a little frustrated and reflecting on something I had typed yesterday: I have a hard time falling asleep on my back, and it feels as though I could lie there for hours and never quite get there unless I'm very tired.

In response to the frustration and the fact that I couldn't let the thought go, as well as remembering that the WILDs I have succeeded with happened on my side in the past (although I thought, really, that lying on your back makes more sense because it's harder to fall asleep totally as I tend to do quickly), I decided to abandon the position and roll onto my side. After awhile of lying there in such a way, still awake, repeating my mantra, I felt the need to move yet again. At that point I committed to just doing the sloppiest WILD I could to see if it would meet with success, by which I mean, every time I wanted to move, I moved. Every time I wanted to swallow or scratch or whatever, I went ahead and did it and returned to my previous position.

My logic in giving over to this was that when I'm going to sleep, I tend to shift positions 3-4 times until I find the one I like and then I fall asleep rather quickly. I figured if I shifted positions several times while repeating my mantra and maintaining focus, I'd eventually find the position I liked, fall asleep within a few minutes, and manage to keep awake while doing so. Maybe. I didn't really know; I just figured it was worth a shot.

Well, when lying in each of these positions I sometimes got as far as HI happening, but then would end up shifting and moving, and therein saw the flaw: my constant moving kept setting me back in the WILD (perhaps obvious in retrospect). But I figured when I did find the correct position, I'd fall asleep so quickly it would be as though progress wasn't lost.

Ultimately, I probably moved about 3 times, eventually settled into one position, and as expected, I went out like a lamp. Unfortunately my consciousness didn't stay with me, and I had felt it fading already when I had moved into that last position so it's not surprising.

Take-aways:

• Just one main one, I need to experiment with either timing or position because something feels wrong about the 15 minutes up, and then lying on my back. I think both together are too strong of an obstacle for the WILD to culminate in me actually falling asleep, especially when I add in all the thought-work of repeating the mantra and visualizing the dream. My mind is so busy that lying in an uncomfortable position after having so much time to wake myself up pretty much just ends up with me lying there very awake and struggling to become sleepy.
• In the sake of eliminating one of the above, I'll start tonight by shortening my WBTB to as long as it takes to get up, pee, and go back to bed (i.e. 1-2 minutes), but still lying on my back. This is against Sageous' advice, but I just think I should try it because my intuition tells me that it may help.
• If shortening the WBTB does not help (I still have trouble falling asleep), I'll extend it to 15 minutes (or more), and I'll just begin the WILD on my side in the first place, and commit to not shifting positions. This is harder on my back because it's uncomfortable, but on my side I am comfortable and I suspect will fall asleep more quickly. That's why I will almost have to keep the WBTB longer in that position: otherwise I will fall asleep immediately.

Now, the dream fragment:

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Semi-lucid dream
Lucid dream

5 AM - 8:30 AM or so:

I dreamed I was on some kind of comedy game show, and honestly I don't know how I ended up on stage. I remember being in the audience, but somehow I ended up performing/competing. One of the key elements on this stage was that there was a window which exited into a pool of water about a floor down, off the side. When people left the stage, they would dramatically be shown "diving" from this window (I guess as if it were a building window), and land safely in the deep water below.

Unrelated to this, there was also this girl who did her act in a barrel. It didn't strike me as strange at the time but in retrospect it was very strange: she was always in the barrel even when she was off stage. Which means that she couldn't get back up to the stage without assistance, and lucky for her, the stage had these air tubes she could hop her barrel into, and it would shoot her up to stage level. After I had somehow ended up down where the pool was, I at one point watched her hop her barrel into this tube and be whisked away by air pressure.

At one point, I somehow (sorry, there's skipping which is why this is a fragment, I can't remember everything) ended up back stage where these tubes connected to the stage. There was a room where there were four tubes in the floor, and two tubes which connected horizontally out to the stage. There was another girl in the room with me, and at the same time as this barrel-girl was getting off the stage by entering a tube, the other girl in the room shouted to me that they were sending up a back of bricks through the floor tubes (so they were going to potentially collide).

She and I both began yelling through the tubes not to come through, but barrel-girl, now simply sitting on a pillow for some reason, but still holding the barrel-lid above her head like a hat, was already in the tube and coming. I jumped in-front of the tube and scooped her up as she came sliding out and pulled her away from the tubes while the aforementioned sack of bricks (why were they sending a sack of bricks to the stage...?) came hurtling through the tube she was headed for, going upwards, and was sucked in by the in-take tube towards the stage (powerful air!).

Holding her in my arms (and I have to say, noticing how beautiful barrel-girl was with her wavy brown hair), I gave her a weak smile and said, "which tube am I supposed to drop you in?" and she just said, "the back left." I was already nearly standing over-top of it so with a quick nod, I simply let her go over the tube. I heard some clattering and a small scream and looked over the edge of the tube to see she had spilled from her pillow and dropped her barrel-lid and was sprawled on the floor of the tube. I called down, "are you okay?" and she just said, "yep!" and gathered her pillow and lid and took off. She sounded more embarrassed than hurt, so I minded my own business.

I'm not sure what else happened but somehow I eventually reached the next day, where I waking up on what appeared to be a school campus. I walked down the sidewalk and was greeted by one of the women on the show with me, who performed some kind of gesture with the burrito she was eating as if she were pulling it from her pocket, and laughed. I had no idea what this meant, but thought it must be a reference to something that happened on the show, so I politely laughed and said, "yeah," as though I had any idea what this woman was doing, then I walked past her and entered the door on my right.

It instantly went into a Hardee's (a fast food chain) and I began standing in line. Somehow the line got out of the way rather quickly (perhaps a time skip) and I found myself standing at the counter unsure of what to order. However, they had one biscuit which was piled comically high with various things, and I didn't see why not, so I ordered it-- it was called "Drew Crews' Biscuit". I had no idea who Drew Crews was but figured he must be someone famous. Unfortunately the cashier told me, "oh no, we don't have the stuff to make that right now, you have to order that earlier in the morning, we're almost done serving breakfast right now." So I apologized and said, "just give me a couple of bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuits then."

And then I woke up! Strangely, with "Such Great Heights" stuck in my head out of nowhere.

I'm in a theater, there's a man DC sitting to my right. I see a lot of empty seats and I'm hearing some chattering behind, in one corner of the room. (I seemed to be distracted and don't remember seing anything on the screen, or if there was any screen at all. I need to be more aware of my surroundings!).
Then the chatering gets louder and louder, I started thinking was a group of people that I know.
My view changes to the entrance of the room, there's a robust lady, light skin and with some make up on..( I could see in the dark?! ). The laddy is waiting for a signal to turn the lights on. I look in the corner again and see a dad watching his kid jumping and making noises, seems to be autistic. I switch back to the lady and lights go on, not quite bright enough to brighten the whole room. Now I see the DC, next to me, wearigh a bright white shirt, stands up and looks at me, I say: have a good one..He turns around and walks towards the exit.
Now I see a kid carring, or better hugging a cardboard box that's almost braking apart, he's strugling to carry it, as he gets closer and closer I see some leafy, colorful begetables. I want to help him but he doesent let go much. I'm barely holding it in one corner..I think: "probably he need some excersise carring stuff. We exit the room together, and now we're in a big bright hallway. As we put the box down I see he has lost a big amount of weight!, hes abdome is looking a lot slimer. (He looks like one of my special ed. students) I look at the box again, now opened, I see some carrots, a cabage, and other leafy greens.

Notes:
I have decided to wear the REM- dreamer again, every other day. I was able to wear the a REM mask almost all night!, usually I would take it off while sleeping; of course as I analize and highlited on red, anything could be a real disguise. From vegetables to the make up on a person.
Blinking signals of the mask could also disguise as the kid jumping up and down; (not so much the noise since the sound mode was off)... And so on, it's a great tool but still requieres lots of practice and not recomended for people with seisures!

Changing the format of my entries to an previous format because I think it helped.

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7/1/2020
Before bed I did multiple prayers to increase recall, vividness and to remember to used SSILD after first couple alarms.
Fell asleep at 2AM.
Woke up at 7AM, with recall, didnt write down tags
Woke up at 8:30AM, with recall, didnt write down tags
Woke up at 9:30AM, with recall. Wrote down tags for 2 dreams when I distinctly remember at least 2 others that I had then forgotten because I didnt write them down.

What to work on: Writing down tags upon waking from alarm, recalling events of the day when lying in bed. When done meditate until I fall asleep.
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Dream 1(Yes video @ dep -> football): I was at the corner dep with someone from yes theory and they made a video in the depanneur. I remember buying ketchup and it was 6 for 3. The ketchup was like candy canes. After we left he said that whoever makes the best edit of that video will get a prize. As we were walking back home some guy came down the street behind us and said that they were supposed to have playd football with them. They immediately asked some nearby strangers for a football and start playing, then I realized I forgot I had a football in my hands.

Dream 2(late for work): I was very late for work and was stressed out about that.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I remembered much more when I woke up but ended up doing other things. Now I just remember this.

I'm with some people that are friendly. There is water and there is a leader telling us we have two different options. I chose the one that includes swimming so I jump into the water and start swimming.

Notes: I remember the feeling of jumping into the water. I swam in the sea with my cousins some days ago, that's why I dreamt this.

I'm outside in some unknown street, afternoon time and there seems to be a stadium behind me. Then out of the sudden I hear gun shots, and people started running. I dock a little and I'm a bit concerned because I don't see where the shooting is coming from. Then I see a car coming, my perception zooms and goes inside of it, there are about 5 coworkers from the school I use to work in. JO, a teacher is on the wheel, she steps on the gas as she comes near a curbside, near the side walk Im standing by. Apparently a gang, commanded by some french girls are shooting guns all over...
I manage to go away from the shooting and now I'm calmer, I'm sitting on a bench, trying to read an e-sign with red leters moving from right to left. Then a DC, male, appears on my right and shoots me on the torso. I fell in slow motion while feeling a strong jolt from the shot impact, that transitions to WL. Then I wake up.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm in my house on the upper floor and chasing small monsters that are going to kill us. I have a laser pointer and using it to glow under beds in order to kill the small monsters. I communicate with the other persons in the room and looking if they find anything. I'm now on the lower floor and I'm hearing things upstairs, I know it's a monster. I know it's a dream but it's only semi lucid. I test out what weapons I can use against the monster upstairs. I shoot some blue energy balls and think it will do. I fly up the stairs to my sister's room. There are two people and a monster there! I think to myself that my superpowers won't work against the monster. I use my superpowers to shoot him with some blue energy balls but it has no effect. I use my other superpower and shoots yellow beams to cut his head off. It works and his head goes off. He still talks and reattaches his head. I use my yellow beams again and use my telekenisis to put the head on the cealing. I say something to the two people in the room about the head. There is going to be a council about how to punish this monster that can't die. I lose myself into the dream story. I walk outside the room by the toilet and there are a lot of Harry Potter characters there. I see Malfoy. There are three different groups there. All the Huffelpuff members, Slitherin members and Gryffindor members (rip Ravenclaw. They were excluded from my dream). I know I'm Harry Potter now and I'm a member of Gryffindor. I get to choose one more time which household I should join. I say I want to join Slytherin even tough Malfoy is my enemy. I regret my decision immediately. I hover over the ground with my back just hanging and my arms hanging too. I hover with my head held down and I'm really depressed.

Dream 1: I was creating a video with friends and I remember 2 people biking in multiple clips in multiple ares spliced toegether as the into. I think we were going to peoples doors as part of it

Dream 2: There was this one guy who says the only sport(or maybe thing) hes good at is football. We were playing football and then it turned into a game with different rules. They allowed the ball to hit the ground and bounce. Then there were 3 balls and it was kind of like a game of keepaway. People were kicking it against walls and trying to get a good bounce so that they coud get it and keep it away from others. It's called Pineball. There were 3 other players besides me. Then one guy broke his arm and the other 2 got mad and kicked his arm. I heard a crunch. I was walking away and 2 new challengers came but they were nice and innocent, they didn't know how hardcore these players were. They challenged them to a game of pineball and even started to correct them on the name and history of the game. Ten my alarm went off.

Dream 3: I was at picked up a call that I realized I had put him on hold for 15 minutes and he was really mad. He yelled at me for a bit and asked for my name and stuff. Then he asked me if I thought I was good at what I did. I said I am good at what I do but I make mistakes because I am human and I will not have him tell me otherwise. Later I was making pizza and found a couple slices of soggy pan pizza in the food bins, one in the hot peppers. I debated on using the slices(Even though I would have never done that IRL). Later a couple young girls came in and they said I look like I'm 5 years old because I was wearing baggy blue shorts and shirt. I said yeah kind of lol

Dream 4: I was going down this giant stairwell and at each landing there were lots of books you could take or look at. Like one of those boxes where u take 1 and leave 1. I remember there being lots of picture books and some interesting ones. I met up with some friends at one point. I also saw some drunk kids in an adjacent landing that were lying down and talking.

Walking outside in the streets at night I follow the road upstream to wherever it may lead. After a few minutes I come about a simple house at the top of a closed street. A young woman sweeps the floor as I approach her on the porch. She reminds me of an old friend from years past. The front door is open and I notice a young child playing with her toys. They are kind people I feel, but know deep down in my gut that her partner is an abusive monster.

She does the laundry and waits beside as if expecting me to get close. I lean in to her and she begs me for her and her daughter's well-being. I'm hesitant at first, scared of what might become of me, but I can't refuse her pleas now that I'm here. I tell her we have no time to waste and will prepare some tickets to get her out of the state. At first she seems wary of her remaining tasks at home, the wet clothes, the dinner in a few hours, but I tell her to just let it be and pack as is. She washes hastily and we agree to meet in a few hours while his husband sleeps in bed.

I meet her and her child at a bus terminal. I had arranged beforehand to get our tickets from a known underground contact. As we board the bus I'm wary about danger close by. His husband is on the know of our plan and he's on his way right now to the terminal and bring them back. We have to be quick, so we get into our seats and I hope with all my heart he doesn't reach us before this bus departs. I fear if he were to arrive at the terminal the bus would not move. I speak with the flight attendants for the delay but I'm reassured when I feel the bus initiates its launch into the streets. At this point I know we're safe, she is safe.

As we roll out into the streets, I'm marveled at how different the bus is. We're not so much driving as we're gliding across the road. I peak out the window and notice this bus has wings like those of a plane. A row of seats stretch above us and to the side. This bus is magical. Then come the deserts. Whether we're in the mood for ice cream, cakes, pies, plates filled with deserts come descending from above. They float in front of us and linger just in reach for our hands to grab. I serve me some ice cream and feel delighted at the amount of care and service we're getting.

* * *

I've been having some pressing confrontations with a vampire as of late. Both me and my associate C, a woman with unimaginable skill, search the creepy and foggy woods at night in wait for its attack. I've been getting better with each fight and because of my success, fortune has awarded me with two long sables to defend our cause. Now it is our turn to become the predators and it the prey. We reach the end of an abandoned chimney that sits inside a big willow tree. The damn entrance is closed unfortunately. So we start digging.

Moments prior someone important had gifted C a white glowing dagger that could end the life of this vampire forever. It was our secret weapon, our last resort should the battle turn ugly. Anyway, we end up digging far more than we expected but reached at last a buried treasure. It is an ancient book, beautifully crafted (like those found in the movie "The Mummy"). The book is entirely made of precious stone and engraved on its plates lies a short tale about the vampire itself. As we turn the pages it greets us through its story, excited for all this time it has been leading us fools into a trap, preparing us for our doom as it is our fate to become its slaves.

At this point the chimney opens. A blinding mist escapes through the abyss that covers the entrance. Its attack was swift and silent. I thought I had it so I swing my right hand and hope the blade managed to make contact. It anticipates this move however, and restrains my arm with its hand and, holding a short dagger with its free hand, is about to deliver a deadly blow. I know this is the end, but before the blade penetrates my skin, C swiftly pierces its side with the white dagger. The creature moans in agony and disappears for good into the night.

Dance

I'm at some weird high school like dance, dancing with some girl from work...

Jamie

She was really absent this week. I did have a brief one sexual related. I finished too fast and just left, and she looked upset. I hope that's never a problem IRL...


Jesus

Just Him standing by a building looking inside but he's like 40 ft tall. He's looking in a window.

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Semi-lucid dream
Lucid dream

Due to the nature of how I slept last night, by which I mean lots of waking up without bothering to voice memo (for shame), I don't remember a lot of my dreams but I do have a few snippets I can log. Maybe I'll remember more later today.

Time unknown

I dreamed that my neighbors had a daughter around my age who wanted my help with something related to her computer. I agreed to come over and help her to install something (I don't recall if it was stated what that something was...). When I showed up at their house, she greeted me at the door and then went inside, and I immediately ran into this sorta deadbeat guy that her mother used to date, sitting in a recliner watching television. He looked very exasperated to see me, sorta sighed, and I quickly explained I was here to help with something computer related.

He told me that her computer was actually her mother's computer, and that he didn't think she wanted to be woken up. I apologized, feeling like he clearly didn't want me there, and said that I would leave if he liked. He didn't say yes, but simply looked back, and around that time the daughter (whom I didn't ever learn the name of, incidentally) came around the corner and told me that her mother was okay with it. Apparently she also was ordering a pizza for all of us since I was there around dinner, and at this, the guy in the chair looked even more exasperated.

The pizza was quickly produced (I have no idea where it came from, it just showed up on the table at the suggestion of it being ordered) and I woke up while I was getting a couple pieces.

Time unknown - 8ish AM

I dreamed I was at my grandparents' house during some kind of family gathering. Most people were outside, but me and my father had come back inside and were sitting down to check out their TV. They had some sort of streaming system which wasn't tied to any specific brand, but was instead provided by their satellite, and simply hosted a recording of the episodes of each show that were new that week. I turned it on and started scrolling, and was very surprised to see "The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy," from when I was a teenager, had a new episode listed. I scrolled over and booted it up, and the show started strangely with some animals in the forest eating grass and such.

I can't remember exactly what happened, but somehow all the animals had eaten some particular berry or something that was growing in the woods, and Billy had just wandered into the forest and eaten one also. He complained that his stomach was hurting, and then immediately ripped a huge fart, which is pretty on-color for the humor in that show (lol). Immediately afterwards, the animals all began farting loudly in sequence, some in unison, with the scene cutting to various animals being surprised by their farts, scaring off attackers with their farts accidentally, etc. I thought it was mildly funny, and I looked at my dad and he looked back at me seemingly embarrassed (in real life he would surely find this side-splittingly hilarious with his childish sense of humor, but he didn't seem to like it in the dream). He suggested maybe we shouldn't watch it around my grandparents, who are known for being somewhat uptight about matters of politeness. I agreed while making a mental note to look up when the show had come back later.

The dream fragment ended however while I was looking to see what else was there: I recall my dad pointing something out to me, looking for it only to find he was misreading the name (his eyesight is not so good), and someone else coming in and telling me what he was actually looking at. I scrolled over to it and quickly woke up.

If you're here for dreams, that's it, but what I also want to log is last night's attempt at a WILD (wake-induced lucid dream):

WILD attempt:

I set my alarm for 4:30 AM, went to sleep, and ended up waking up around 3:00 AM having to pee anyway, and quickly got up and peed and decided that I would scrap the alarm and use this awakening for my attempt at a WILD (I had been sleeping around 3-and-a-half hours). I had hastily decided on a mantra the night before which I felt was unique to me, had some power when I said it somehow, and reminded me of my goal (staying awake while I fell asleep, and staying focused): "keep it tight." Which I know sounds silly; it made me chuckle when I thought of it, but the fact that it gave me a reaction is why I picked it.

I stayed up for about 15 minutes sitting on the side of my bed thinking about what I was going to do and steeling my resolve to do it. I told myself I'd succeed tonight and tried to get rid of any negativity or doubts. In retrospect, I'm not sure that sitting up for so long was good and may shorten it, because I think it woke me up too much.

After around 15 minutes I laid down at 3:20 and began my attempt. I folded my hands over my stomach, relaxed on my back, and began breathing in through my nose and out while thinking my mantra, "keep it tight." Towards the beginning I took some time to meditate on who I was also, and what divides me from the world around me, but also what parts of it relate to me as cause and effect. I quickly abandoned this though and just focused on my mantra. I'm purely guessing (I know how long everything together took but not individual parts), but I would say I laid there for about 15 minutes until I started to experience a sensation of heaviness/numbness. Part of this was that my hands being clasped over my stomach had my elbows bent, and the pinch in my elbows was causing my arms + pinky and ring finger to go completely numb, lol. I decided to ignore this and carry on, focusing on my mantra. I occasionally felt the need to swallow, and tried to not focus on it, but three or four times, it happened even though I tried to ignore it.

Around 30 minutes in I started occasionally experiencing some light hypnagogic imagery (HI) that disappeared whenever I noticed it was happening, as it generally does. None of it had any real substance but it was mostly visual. I resolved to try to ignore it and focus on my mantra. At one point I quickly saw a large, blue... thing come flying right at my face which caused me to jump slightly and had my heart racing, but I returned to lying still and repeated "keep it tight," which calmed me down, reminding me not to get worked up.

At around 45 minutes, my finger started to really hurt. They had gone completely numb, but because of the way they were sitting on-top of one another, the fingers on my right hand were starting to feel pinched and there was a dull-ache. This eventually got so bad I could no longer ignore it, and decided to move my hands, which basically ended my WILD attempt, because once I moved them down by my sides, all the blood began rushing back into them creating an insane tingling sensation and warmth that was even harder to ignore. I laid there for what I imagine was the last 15 minutes or so, repeating my mantra, but at that point was so disturbed I felt it was a lost cause in my heart of hearts.

Eventually I looked at my phone clock and saw it had been an hour, and even though I know not to do this, I decided to roll on my side to see if I would become tired more quickly. I rolled onto my right side (I normally sleep on my left) and laid there once more, repeating my mantra. I'm not sure what happened; I seem to have quickly faded in and out of sleep several times, because I had several moments where I "came back to" unsure of what had just happened-- and eventually I looked at my clock again and discovered that 25 minutes had passed!

At this point, once again, I decided I had been at this for an hour and a half (it was now almost 5 AM) so I rolled over on my left side figuring I'd continue repeating my mantra, but fully expecting to fall asleep. I faded in and out like before a couple times, and there were several times when I faded back in suddenly unable to even remember what my mantra was in the first place and having to grasp at a few before remembering. Eventually, probably after not 10 minutes of this, I fell asleep for good.

Take-aways:

• I should not claspe my hands over my belly-button to avoid the painful numbing sensation; I should let them rest by my sides.
• The mantra "keep it tight," worked fairly well but could probably be better.
• I should probably shorten my WBTB (wake back to bed) time from 15 minutes to something less. It feels like sitting up so long woke me up too much.
• It's tempting to try to look at HI, but it disappears when you try and seems to wake you up when it does.
• Rolling on your side, even your bad side, is still just a bad idea.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I fell asleep pretty late and had a hard time sleeping because of the heat.

I'm by a big round table. The table has many people by it. We are playing a strategie boardgame. When you make a move Gustav (who is the game leader) do some inputs into his device and later on the screen on the TV shows what move you did. The map on the TV is filled with different holes and Gustav shows how you can use bombs in order to make a big chunk of the map disappear. You see him cross different boxes and by doing so trying to enclose a big area. His money isn't enough to fence off the whole site and he says: "Yeah you understand the idéa". Later on I hold in the device Gustav used and try it out.

I'm in a room with different people. There are some drawings on the wall. I know that I have drawn one of the Naruto drawings which is one of the only one's with colored background and colored picture. There are almost only Naruto drawings and all of them are good but not professionally drawn. There is a woman who is the leader and she says that we are going to do a mission. We are on military training. It's a competition too were the one who reaches the destination first wins. We all start to run out and we're running in the woods. I see a person running in front of me who uses naruto running and doing some kind of ninja moves. As the person do the ninja move there are all theese slice marks for a short while. When the slice marks disappear all the trees in the way of the slice marks fall to the ground. The person did so in order to run more easily in the woods. The next mission is on an airplane. We are supposed to jump off the small windows on the sides and land in the thick snow. I fail on my first try and get stuck in the window. I try again but some people are running the same time as I do so we both stop because the window only fits for one of us. I hear some people giving advice to each other about how you are supposed to land on the ground. I start to run again and this time I succeed. I fall out of the window and think to myself that it would be best to land in a special way. I fail horribly and land on my head instead. It hurts a bit.

Notes: Me, Gustav and the cousins played board games two days ago. That's why I dreamt the first dream. When I worked three days ago a military woman asked me if we still give the military a discount. I told her about how I'm soon going to military training and asks her for a piece of advice. She was delighted and told me that she has worked in the military for 10 years and that it's the best decision of her life. She told me how she gets to go kayaking during paid working hours. The leader during the first mission was a projection of her.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening[/B]


Carla, her mom and another neighbor are at my mom's hallway discussing something. My mom's front door is not well closed and is banging whenever they lean against it. I go shut the door better and they hear me and call for me.
They say they tried to catch Magano on the street because they want to adopt the cat. They hope we can help.

I sort of feel powerful and I walk around with total confidence in my awareness, then I float and also feel like changing my clothes to a long medieval dress. Then I spot some buddhist monks leading people to a venue and I follow them with curiosity. Find out they are a bunch of con artists pickpocketing people while entertaining people with tricks. I try to disrupt their act with my magic but it doesn't work out, I try to warn some girl but she gets mad for bothering her. I get out but later find these artists at an hotel lobby with their bags packed. I confront them and some of them get away with the bags through service stairs while others try to intimidate me to leave them alone. But I follow them, one attacks me and fails. End up in a underground garage or warehouse where dozens of bandits are waiting for me to kill me. I fight and escape them all, but there is one I find really cute and as we fight we also flirt each other. Instead of hurting him, I steal a kiss from him. In the end, my magic finally kicks in and they surrender to me and become my devotees.

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Semi-lucid dream
Lucid dream

This is a collection of 3 dreams. This is the first attempt I've made to become lucid in several years, and it was successful! But not through the method I was trying.

Sometime before 2:30 AM
I dreamed that I was an official content censor for some kind of fascist regime, but even as an editor of content was victim to extreme regulations. I worked in an open office surrounded by other workers and was encouraged not to move from my post or stop working. I remember trying to move unsuccessfully a few times but only small bits of this dream stayed with me.

2:30-4:45 AM
I dreamed that my school had a 'software hit-list' of things they wanted coded for them (I'm a CS major) and one of these was a more secure meeting method. Someone had coded this and randomly instated me as a moderator because I was a CS major, and I realized that all CS majors were given such honors for reasons unclear (we are not generally known for our people skills, lol). Anyway, I hopped on a bus, the physical representation of this new forum for students of my university. I also decided that if I was a moderator, I'd try to be a good moderator, and make sure nobody was doing anything wrong. So I scoped out the area around me.

Next to me a guy was sitting in a trench coat and sunglasses, and I tried to look past him to see what was on his other side without bothering him. There was just a window, and in the end he did see me trying to look around him and gave me a funny look, so I apologized and looked forwards again. I sorta realized in that moment that I was being stupid trying to moderate just because it was written on my name, and started behaving normally riding the bus again.

It gets a bit fuzzy here, but I recall a friend from high-school being on the bus, and lying in the floor. I woke up again later.

4:45 AM-7:30 AM
And here's the meat, the lucid dream. I woke up, used the restroom (I had drunk a glass of water so that I would wake up in the middle of the night), laid down again, meditated for a few minutes while counting my breaths. When I lost count I rolled on my side and began counting my breaths again, trying to fall asleep. And then I did fall asleep! But not lucid.

I can't remember this dream back all the way, but the first thing I remember was playing baseball with a bunch of kids. I guess I was a kid too, I'm not really sure. At one point, we were playing on an abandoned lot, and the pitcher's mound was in the middle of a partially constructed scaffolding (inconvenient), and I was pitching. Batting was a girl who I went to high-school with who was well known for throwing hissy fits when things didn't go her way (no offense to her, I'm sure she's more adult now, but we were all probably 12 or 13 in this dream...). She was indeed throwing such a hissy fit because I was pitching too fast at her. So I lobbed one slowly to let her have her way.

She immediately smacked it and sent it flying into the scaffolding I was standing in, and I picked it up and tried to turn to look to throw it to first base, but I couldn't see first base. I then turned and saw second base was also obstructed, so I turned some more and threw it to someone who was running up from near third base. Of course, when I threw it to him, he missed it, I felt silly for throwing it too hard, and he turned and ran after it. Within those precious moments, two opposing runners had run up to my scaffolding and were standing at the edge yelling at me. I turned to look at them and hear what they were saying, which was that they were complaining that 1st base was a pit, so they had run to the pitcher's mound instead, and that should count as a home-run.

I'm not sure why I was allowed to decide but I shook my head yes and agreed, and the game was over (I guess they were already ahead). Soon, everyone congregated around the pitcher's mound/scaffolding and we started discussing that playing baseball here sucked (gee whiz). I suggested, from nowhere, that nearby was a series of under-construction houses where nobody lived, that was sure to have some open air nobody was using that we could play. It occurred to me we might accidentally break some windows or something, but I secretly figured we could probably get the heck out of there without getting caught if so (sorry construction workers, I was a kid in this dream, I swear!).

So off we set into this nearby construction area, and me and one other fairly small kid who couldn't have been more than 8 ended up going into a nearby house, and walking around inside, because nobody was there to stop us. As we were walking around looking I suddenly made a joking comment that the house was so empty, it almost seemed like a dream...

And the saying of such a thing is one of my well-known triggers (anytime something seems like a dream in real life, I tend to reality check reflexively just as a habit because I have said it in dreams many times and woke up frustrated I didn't become lucid). I reached up and plugged my nose and blew air through, and found I could breathe. Ta-da! My first night back at lucid dreaming a success, I felt pretty proud of myself and thought back to posting on Dreamviews the night before. I remembered reading an article about lucid dreaming to hype myself up and them talking about how realistic your hands are, so I looked down at them.

Then I set out after my small friend who was with me, and told him I was having a lucid dream! He looked at me like there was a giant spider on my head and began fast-walking away, so I walked after him saying, "No, really, look!" and tried to summon a baseball from thin air to show him. I tried several times, but my dream control has always been a bit wonky, and I couldn't get it to happen. I tried looking away from my hands and looking back. I tried closing my eyes and thinking "BASEBALL" (lol) and opening them and looking back, and nothing. Soon me and the kid were outside of the house standing in the grass, and I still didn't have a baseball. He looked pretty skeptical, and I suddenly feared me losing my lucidity to this goal of getting a baseball, so I said, "aw nevermind," and walked away from him.

Still marveling at all the weird wrinkly detail of my palms, I walked off towards the nearby woods. As I was walking along, the whole group of children I had been playing baseball with came to where we were and began asking if I had found a place to play baseball. I told them I wasn't looking anymore, really, but they could probably play somewhere near here if they still wanted to. They set off into the woods also (for some reason) so I followed them nearby, but quickly got distracted by a humongous ravine going down hundreds of feet, and instantly was taken with doing what I always do in lucid dreams: jumping off stuff and trying to fly.

I jumped off the edge into this enormous canyon and hovered my way down with my arms out, but as I stuck my arms out I was suddenly bothered by the feeling of my sheet on my bed (lol) and the feeling that it was like a wall blocking me from sticking my arm out all the way. This bothered me and also again, worried me I was waking up, so I pulled my arms in-front of me in more of a Superman position instead. I alighted down on a giant metal tower, crawling with futuristic soldiers.

My lucidity started to degrade a little here. I was no longer doing anything I wanted but getting sucked into the current of the dream, while aware I was dreaming somewhat.

These soldiers all began shooting at me, and, aware that I was dreaming, I stood my ground to see what they were shooting. As if in slow-motion, the shots came as a multitude of lasers, followed by a few canisters that looked like grenades. I started smacking these canisters back, and hitting various things on top of the tower and destroying them, eventually succeeding in knocking the soldiers off the tower I was on. Then a large docking bay door opened on the side of the canyon and I was being shot at once again. I once again tried hitting or grabbing and throwing the canisters, but they were far too far away (easily 100 meters). I settled on another plan, which was to forcefully punch parts of the tower towards that loading bay (ambitious).

And of course, as with my dream control, I punched them so lightly they simply limply fell off the tower. I tried harder, and harder, and soon was greeted with a (phony) percentage number indicating my percentage of full power that I was using (which I took for a real measurement, hence why I marked this lowered lucidity). I could only get this number to around 20%, which launched the things I was hitting a decent ways but not quite there. I heard someone call me a fool, and looked to my left to find, who else: Darth Vader, sitting in a chair.

I don't even really like Star Wars which makes this stranger, but anyway, he told me that I would never summon my full control in such a way. Suddenly finding myself curious at what he had to say, I think my lucidity started to come back up here.

I figured, who worse to steer me wrong than Darth Vader in a dream. But at the same time, maybe he would say something useful, so I urged him to continue and sat down next to him. He spoke cliches, telling me that I should 'let my emotions rule me,' and 'use my anger to summon my full power'. I nodded amicably and then noticed that I was now sitting beside him in a flying vehicle. In an act of defiance towards Mr. Vader but also in the interest of trying what he said, I screamed at the top of my lungs (haha) while grabbing the side of the car and pushing, and surely enough, I ripped off the entire right side of the car and part of the roof, and dropped it as we flew along. He didn't really say anything-- he didn't seem threatened but rather like I was acting like a child, and I felt mildly embarrassed (again, haha).

We soon rolled up at a small garage that I felt I recognized from another dream, and I simultaneously felt the dream was coming to an end. It was as if this was a final destination for me, and I could tell this by looking at it. I don't recall what the sign said fully, but I do recall it used a nickname of mine people have given me ("Loaf" a missaying of Life), and I looked around and at Darth Vader again. He didn't have much else to say, so I thanked him for his advice and said maybe I'd use it again later. Then I hopped out of the car and walked up to the shack, and as I was in the process of doing so...

My eyes opened and I hopped out of bed to get my coffee and write up this journal!

Dream 1: I was in the shower and wanted to shave my leg too. I shaved my right leg and then my crotch and then my brother came inside so I hid the razor behind a loofa. I finished my shower and still only had 1 leg shaved. Later I had a really pretty girl over and I had unprotected sex with her until I was about to finish. Then we both knew it was best to put a condom on. We tried to be quiet and get it done but we ended up in different places of the house trying to be strealthy but it didnt work. Then she turned into Matthew West and he wanted to get it in the bum. I was not down. Later we went to an airbnb that was unlocked after hearing about it and right afterwe arrived the owner came in and told us we were in trouble and to leave. We left and matthew and I had switched 1 show so we switched back and got in the car