Non-Lucid Dreams
Some dream fragments. Initially had better recall but didn't manage to type as much as I wanted in my initial notes and so recall just faded for the most part. Some pre-sleep journaling too because I haven't really done that a lot. Although I have had recall of dreams from all the previous nights since my last DJ entry, I haven't been making notes in the morning for the most part. H's alarm can be distracting and causes me to lose details sometimes, which puts me off from trying to write, besides all the other usual issues. Pre-sleep: Some stray thoughts about something lead me to loosely focusing thoughts on memories from my childhood, primarily from the ages between three and five. Somewhat vivid memory of the balcony, but details missing and wrong. I hoped my focus on these memories would perhaps carry on into dreaming and allow me to explore the memories a bit better. Some recall of trying to place myself in the height I would have been, meaning a different point of view from the lower glass panes rather than the higher ones. I remember having other conscious thoughts about the memories but I have forgotten the specifics now. Dream Fragment: Was having a discussion with a girl about my age, we were talking about buck/boost transformers and how they saved power or something. I was doing a poor job of explaining and getting to the point I wanted to make and so she started to think I was trying to make some sort of sales point without evidence. I was at some kind of hotel? Initially I was speaking to her from a hallway that had these sliding doors to the outside; she was out on a courtyard of some kind, under a summer/pool tent of sorts. I'd met her at a fairly high floor in the building, 30 something? I had been going up through the floors using stairwells with my family up to this point, but I think they just continued on without me. I think near the end the girl's form shifted between herself and some male dream character. Before I got to the hotel, I remember travelling with my family through some highway, dad was driving. At some point we weren't in the car anymore but sort of still on the road. I remember my parents asking T if he should put an extra layer/top on. L made some comment? We were on the start of a mountain path or something. We were apparently going some place cold, I remember a dull grey day, misty. Reminds me now of some real beach or coastal area I've visited in waking reality many years ago with my family. Dream Fragment: Called an aunt. Brief conversation, remember noting it took no more than five or six minutes. Vague visual recall of orange phone screen? Notes: - The orange phone screen was most likely a detail of a home phone; either the one we have now or the one from my parents' house. - The highways in the dream remind me of the ones from Fallout, possibly because of playing it recently. - Not entirely sure what brought on the context of discussing electronics but possibly just a more obvious intrusion of information consolidation processes; my apparent ignorance on the subject in the dream perhaps being caused by the fact I rarely discuss the specific topic in question.
I noticed that when I start to journal out my dreams, that I end up recalling ones that have long been forgotten. So I have decided to creae a montage of dreams that appear while posting up new dreams. Dream #1 I'm not sure when this dream happened but it was some time in the late year of 2019. I'm in a bright, peach colored room and I'm watching something on TV. I have a toy Dragonzord next to me, he is talking to me through my voice about something and then I leave from in the room. I'm in a dark hall with the room I was in next to me, spilling it's light out into the hall. Then I go downstairs, I saw people there talking and chilling out then ended up in the basement. I was a low laying place but big and on the floor was a black bag. In it was something black and wet. I went over and looked into it and got hit with a foul smell. I quickly tried to tie it up, but it busted and got all on the floor. It looks like it was huge chunks of flesh and angular things. I quickly started cleaning this stuff up and tied the bag once it was inside. I got away from there and headed back upstairs. But everything was all different. I wanted to get back to the place I was at earlier but the environment changed. The hall was strange and darker but managed to find the room dragonzord was in. It was the same and dragonzord was glad I came back to it and told me not to leave from there no more. Things are always changing in this place and we don't know if we will get teleported to another place. Dream #2 I'm exploring a basement, which has always been a childhood thing I did and I'm one the main side. There is stuff there as usual and I go into the part of the place where it is smaller and had old wire mesh chicken wire there. Instead It was a much bigger room and saw some closed off places that looked like some homeless man made an enclosed room. I peeped through the curtains and saw someone inside, sleeping. He show up and I took off running. All he was was the curtains falling back into place as my shadow ran off to the left. He didn't come out but I wasn't going back over there to find out if he actually did come out. The second chain put me into the room I looked into, luckily the man was gone and nothing but an empty cot but I can see all the trinkets he had hanging down from the walls and ceilings. It was darker inside there and crammed up. I saw a drawing that looked like it was made by a kid with crayons.
This may be a little fragmented. We were in a space that was close to a convenience store, but it might have been a bar/ fun place to hang out as well. Trev showed up and some activities were going on. We were sort of strung in a purple web talking to each other. We were also in an amusement park and one of the rides was the ride that you pay extra for to be strapped into a hardness and lifted into the sky to be dropped. My view was on that ride and we were swinging except instead of losing momentum we were gaining it with every swing and it seemed like I was narrating or talking to someone as this was happening. As we swung back and forth I could feel the momentum building to the point where it was uncontrollable and the energy was overwhelming. We were seeing the entire landscape and crashed far off from the amusement park in this purple forest near a cave where ambulances were coming to get us. I was coming from an old neighbhood friend's house Ray taking a right onto the street. I could feel Nat behind me and could see Ray's dad in front of me holding a skateboard. I started to call out his nickname knowing Nat was behind me as we were both on skateboards. We caught up for a split second before turning right down their street. We ended up at J's house I remember ollying over patches of grass onto the path of his house and I remember at some point thinking that it's been a while and I didn't know if I was allowed here. We end up down the street looking around the outside of these houses and I've been here in other dreams as well, we had hung out in the middle house at some point in another dream but that area of the street turns to swamp and I wonder if secretly Lizzie lives here, there's a few houses surrounded by green swamp and a tree line to the right, I think maybe their house value has gone down, I see someone in front of Nat's old house and I think he might've moved. I can see the house next to Nat's has a porch and there's a mom who dressed up like Motricia Adams doing a trick or treat thing for kids but it is not Halloween. At some point I'm in that house and Lizzie is too. The transition was a view of a road with painted yellow lines in the middle very hilly going up and down, I was semi- lucid here saying this is a dream and trying to transform it to a lucid but it would not go, it was a very clear road going up and down on a hill. Dawkins was there. Another dream I was in some sort of camp or program but I was with a bunch of guys from my high school and it was morning, we were all waking up and getting ready for our day, C Buy and h Buy were roaming around the room. We eventually get up and our building was next to a lake to the left and we had a massive path. We go outside and up the path, the idea was there were zombies and we were avoiding them. We get to this gathering up ahead that looked like a carnival or something with booths, this sounds really silly but it was filled with a bunch of naked women in the carnival and my view was gliding around with a water gun shooting at other women naked and zombies are still chasing us.
Fragment 1: 2 lesbian characters from "Orange is the New Black"(Blond addict & her delusional red lipstick wearing friend) were talking thru a vent on top of a bookshelf or something. The blond one was persuading the other to get sexual. After some reluctance, the other agreed and the blond crawled thru the vent to join her in the wall. Dream 1: There was a chamber with a few conveyor belts which led into like molten metal or something. There was a sign that said something along the lines of "You can only use your controller after you burn it". I put 3 of my 4 controllers on the belts and they got melted. Later I had something really hot and was burning black spots onto my controller. I realized it looked cool and that was the true use of the conveyor belt machine, so I tried to go back and make a cool design. Instead I found a sauna where I got in with Matthew and Phoebe. Before getting in we were recording the inside of it with my camcorder for some reason.
Some very long dreaming overall, many fragments lost now. The primary dream is backwards since that was the easiest way to put all the memory into notes. Dream Fragment: The earliest part of this dream I can remember, I was moving a cruise liner-like ship into orbit of a pretty plain planet. While manoeuvring close, I accidentally clipped head-on into the planet, so I had to sort of reverse out and reposition. I wanted to set it up so that it would make a nice screenshot, with the system's star and the nebulae in the background. There was a relatively dark palette to this scene, dark purples and dark desaturated oranges, almost a bright brown. The planet itself was a somewhat bright but lifeless pink and the ship was just some standard dark grey of sorts. Warm light. I intended to upload the resulting screenshot onto the game's forum, I think. Despite the whole scene having a hyper-realistic feel, it was quite a lot like Freelancer but not quite, a bit of EVE online feel to it too. In actuality I was on the ground, at the sloped and curvy area near M's house in my old town. I remember using some interfaces about my ship and looking through options. I "moused over" some checkboxes that had question marks next to them for info and quickly glanced at some tooltips that would appear with lists on them. I clicked some options rapidly; the options were relating to failure/limp modes. After checking these boxes, the ship started to implode. The options had no warning or confirmation before I had activated them so I got upset and spoke angrily at the interface, swearing and declaring how it was stupid, in my frustration. On some list of ships I apparently owned, I saw the value of this cruiser drop rapidly from several hundred million to almost nothing as it imploded. I knew the ship was dead and worthless now in orbit of that planet and took some comfort in the fact that nobody would want to loot it being so worthless. Annoyed, I still felt like I could make a screenshot out of it. Dream: I woke up when in the dream I was telling H about some water-filled cyst things that seemed to be under my skin on my chest, my groin and my legs. They were hard to the touch. There were some kind of "veins" between them and at certain angles or positions the water would run down through them with gravity. It looked a bit like fresh sausages when they are cooked and have fluid built up under the casing. I remember the light at this point was a dim and lightly blue-ish morning light. I asked H what it was and what it meant and more importantly, why it was going green on some bits (lower right belly) and H just said "then you lose" which made me panic and cry, at which point I quickly woke up. In the dream I had noticed them earlier and in the dream context of having just seen a doctor recently too. I wondered why I hadn't told the doctor about them. Maybe they weren't there at the time? This was all at the end of a long and odd dream. The preceding segment, I was with H at some guy's house. We were just loading up some cabinet "from the sound of music" or something into the van. Fairly dark wood, polygonal top, gold double trim along some edges, namely the top's sides. Was a bit like an end-table/cabinet. The guy who'd sold it to us had curly hair and fit some generic archetype of a musician. He commented something like "I hope you won't use it, and just store it safely in a bank", obviously still sentimental about it despite selling it. I thought to myself that there was no point in doing that, why had we bought it then. H didn't comment, I think. I had arrived on foot at this place, having expected to actually go home before I got here but for whatever reason I had come across H in the dark street just in front of this guy's house. H's van was on its left side and H had taken the roof off it somehow. Had a determined look and was moving some reel tape boxes on a shelf just behind the bulkhead. Gravity didn't seem right, like it was working in multiple directions at the same time. Didn't notice me for a while, but it was like I wasn't there either. Pre-lucid thoughts about how the van being like this was very dreamlike. The thoughts didn't cross the required threshold however and I didn't do any reality checks. Preceding that, I had been walking along streets of some version of the town we live in now. It was night time and wet, I can remember the reflection of red traffic lights on puddles. It may have been raining too while I walked. I remember the majority of my walking time I had been looking at Whatsapp on my phone. There were messages from H and loads from other people, but I promptly dismissed or ignored the ones from other people as I noticed them. When I started walking it was day time, sunny and dry. I remember there was this garden, belonging to a bad man. I felt like burning it down just before I'd left it. I walked across the little fields to get to the pavement and there were some odd roots or vines that had a planty mouth, and they shot chocolate ice cream or something across to the other side of the street. The little fields had vegetables planted, mostly carrots and turnips? But the root of the vegetables was very visible, not just the top of the plants. I got to this place after walking outside from another place where me and a bunch of other people were. Everyone had just found out that this man who owned these little garden/field things was a bad person, because of the testimony I gave them publicly, plus the testimony of two other people in the room. I was glad that they had spoken up. This indoors place was a bit like the fun centre at the mall near my old town. Odd lighting to the place. This man had apparently been building illegal mini race track things but there was something more insidious about him. I had just come down from an indoors ramp of sorts when a girl about my age confronted me about it, she had a worried look on her face. In the preceding segment I had been helping that man build this thing. But I stopped helping him as soon as he asked me to poop somewhere, as part of the building effort or something and to do something with it. I pretended to have no issue with this and just told him there was no way I could possibly just do it whenever I wanted and that I was fairly "irregular" anyway. I thought at this point of asking for the pay he'd promised but realised immediately he'd be a bastard, so I didn't and at that point I just wanted out of there and away from him. Finally, the earliest point in the dream I can remember was something about a forest and a sort of top down view. It was where I first noticed for myself these mini race track things, some floating over some kind of black abyss void. Dream Fragment: Something about Kaiju/Godzilla? Vague visual recall of some scenes where Godzilla was walking through a city. Dream Fragment: Some mini dream sequence about the automatic act of shaving. Probably caused by a lingering intent of wanting to do since yesterday. Notes: - When I woke up from the long dream, I was sweating, which is what typically has been happening when I get long and intense or vivid dreams. - The panic-type feelings stopped as soon as I woke up and didn't carry over into wakeful awareness. This wasn't what I'd consider a bad dream, just an odd one. - The things that were on my chest and etc. seemed like the symptom of something but I don't remember them being painful or anything. - There were several other dreams that I had fragments of, but I didn't make note of them and couldn't hold them through writing the rest of this.
1: I was telling people about lucid dreaming (doh), and had a fight using huge watermelons cut in half.
Morning of April 5, 2020. Sunday. Dream #: 19,466-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. This dream is a typical somatosensory-based summoning dream. My waking-life identity is only partially extant (as I am vaguely aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby) but becomes more emergent with the final event. I remain on the porch of the Loomis Street house. (A porch is the result of precursory liminality defining the transition from dream state awareness to the beginning of the waking process.) Generally, I summon eggs from the palm of my hand (trying to force imaginary somatosensory dynamics to vivify my dreaming experience and its tactile illusions) at the beginning of a dream. In contrast, I sometimes focus on summoning coins near the end of a dreaming experience (or the end of my sleep cycle) as they correlate with cognizance (numbers and counting). Despite this being a lifelong lucid practice, it also occurs with precursory liminality as here. I vividly feel two eggs come into existence in my cupped right hand, but they soon crack apart, and I see a green yolk (influence from “Green Eggs and Ham”), finding it amusing. I summon more eggs. There is a purple one and another with a blue yolk. I am eventually aware that my brother-in-law Bob is nearby. At one point, I notice a beautiful bas-relief overhead. It is over a quarter of a sphere. I reach up to touch it. It is the artistic rendering of a puppy (with some other details such as a leafy scroll), and I erroneously associate it with the Rose Street inn. (I use to live above it until 1967 but get it confused with the Loomis Street house in this dream.) Through a porch window, to the north, I notice the house that was on the corner is not there. Instead, there is a lot of digging (and I see at least one bulldozer) going on near a couple of piles of dirt. I talk about this with others. Also, over the sidewalk, there are two upright doorways (about six feet apart) with no door. (This “portal” feature is a traditional dream state exit point, more common in childhood dreams. The digging would be an association with having emerged from slow-wave sleep, especially as I presently live in a corner house though I do not recall where I live in my dream.) My sister-in-law Cindy is in the last scene. I summon a miniature balloon poodle that grows to full size. Other balloon animals arise from out of nowhere (growing over time), including an elephant. The last two balloons arise. One is an orange giraffe. The other is a yellow life-size representation of my middle son (yet I vaguely consider it is Bart Simpson at first). He is facing away from me, towards Cindy. I begin to wake as I tell her who he is. This dream’s typical compartmentalized false memories are quite ambiguous. (For example, despite not remembering Bob and Cindy had died or what country I live in, I still recall my middle son, though he is nothing like Bart Simpson’s fictitious persona.)
Morning of April 5, 2020. Sunday. Dream #: 19,466-05. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Halfway into my sleep cycle, the Naiad factor emerges again (the process occurring similarly through most sleep cycles for over 50 years), though not with lucidity or even liminality. It becomes part of an ambiguous, surreal situation that mediates cognizance out of what would otherwise be water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation that water dynamics represent). Such a dream (and its familiar ultradian rhythm curve) would only occur near the middle of my sleep cycle. It transitions into me dominating the precursory preconscious mechanism, in a typical farcical play. The personifications of this process are two unknown young males rather than Naiads. The setting has the typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity. There are three rock pools about ten feet apart, with the inference of an outdoor park but inside a bigger version of the Loomis Street house (irrelevant since 1994). I watch unrealistically tiny fish swim around (typical for this type of ultradian rhythm curve). Despite being in a false version of the Loomis Street house, synaptic gating temporarily allows me to recall Zsuzsanna (though not any recall of Australia). Other than a focus on typical water lowering dynamics (less virtual melatonin), some reinduction dynamics emerge. The process correlates with a backstory that the city council declares that the water is “acidic” (perceived as less than seven hours of sleep having passed). As a result, the mediation factor shifts my dreaming experience. I am now near a couch (instinctual awareness of being asleep). Water rises to the seat of the couch, though only inside it. Water also rises to the highest level of the rock pools. I know the city council is doing this. A pipe connects to each arm of the couch (though I never see one) and under the floor to the rock pools. The rising water stops slightly above the couch seat. I suddenly falsely remember that my comic books are inside the couch’s storage area. I lift the seat, and there are three stacks of comic books spanning the full width (which would incorrectly imply it has a very short width). I feel the wetness at the top of the first stack only, taking all three stacks and placing them in another part of the room, which is now the Cubitis living room (irrelevant since 1978). Even though my comic books are mostly dry and okay, the scene shifts where I shout humorously (without anger) at two unknown young men who remain passive and lean back against a wall. (Indoor-outdoor ambiguity becomes an attribute again, and even though I am in a house, a landscape is visible beyond.) I tell them they ruined “hundreds of dollar’s worth of comic books.” The communication (including “hundreds of dollars” as a thread of cognitive arousal, as it involves the perception of numbers) correlates with the typical mechanism of melatonin increase suppressing wakefulness, that is, the ability to read as represented by the comic books being in water within a dream signification as the couch. These same factors unfolded in hundreds of previous dreams in unique ways.)
A few dreams from this morning. On one of the earlier awakenings I decided to make notes and stay up to try and force myself back into more usual sleeping habits. Some in-line notes. Dream: I was in my old home's bedroom. H and mom were there. H had set up this pipe organ for me (though there were no pipes anywhere) and though I was actually playing poorly I was reading the notation extremely well which pleased me since I'm usually terrible at doing this. But in the dream it was assumed (by myself and the characters) that I was in fact playing well too. I remember walking into the kitchen after trying to play some pedal notes, and mom was there making some food. She was cooking some meats like beef chunks and black sausage type of thing in the big cast aluminium pan. It looked odd, and traditional, but seemed like it could be nice too. Mom was disappointed though, she said if I "can play the organ, then why can't you do the dishes?". In the dream I felt that there was no reason I couldn't do the dishes, but I felt the need to argue her statement because I had never had any piano lessons or any suchlike, which L and T did; I also presented the fact I was (apparently) doing really well with playing and the fact that I had never really understood music at all in the school, so this was a success or improvement over that. I felt some disappointment myself that mom couldn't just cherish this. In the dream I remember at some later point standing in the corridor and hearing L playing some DOTA game, and I think T was just in their own room, in the dark, which lead me to assume T was sleeping for some reason. It was night time through out the entire dream. Dream: Dreamed something a bit like the game I had played the last night (and this night) with H, in some watery and dark underground place. But then there were some fire enemies and I ran into a stairwell as I made distance from them; then the situation was a lot less game-like and more realistic and though I didn't feel afraid because of the fire, I made my way up the stairwell anyway, as did some other random people that appeared, some of which I apparently already knew on a personal level, classmates in the dream context or something. I took my time going up the steps for whatever reason, sort of fooling around by doing a full step by actually stepping on every bit of each step with my feet as smoke would start from each place I had just stepped on. This went on for a short while, after which I continued going on up the stairs. I walked into a room from one of the stair landings, with some random girl my age or so? I opened a window to the fire escape for the building. I do remember a girl (Sol) I knew from school a long time ago, who seemed to be in the dream as filler. As I looked out the window and opened a latch on its left side, I could see a fireman on a ladder approaching (and emergency lights?) and as he got closer and came in through the window we told him it was nothing to worry about really. I remember there was some antagonistic element to the dream from when I was climbing the stairs earlier; there was this group of angry radicals from downstairs who insisted on something about the fire and basically made a big deal out of nothing. The firemen that came through the window shrugged and sincerely said it would be fine since there was nothing to worry about and they told us that they'd switch the main power on in a second. Weird, since it hadn't seemed to be off at all. There was some side or sub-plot, involving a Gollum from China or something, who was being tortured. (Probably from recently playing Fallout) Dream: Super cheesy 80s programme intro, of a show apparently called "Rexxar : Star Trek". I was watching it on Youtube or something like it, with quite a focus "tunnel vision". There was a vividly clear music with a leading electric guitar and other typical sounds from the 80s and some generic synth sounds. The visual elements of the montage were defined by the fact that they were little square "cuts" of other scenes, presumably from the programme itself, presenting the whole thing in a certain cheesy feel. Those square cuts mostly featured head shots of sexy and almost half naked women and some of the cuts had stills of Rexxar from Warcraft, as well as mini montage being featured in one of these square cuts showing a cartoony/kids-style but real cake of Rexxar being made or put together. Everything in the video montages had a very pure white backdrop thing going on. Despite the cheesy aspect, the dream video was amazingly vivid, just as the music. The characters, the women, were nobody that I recognise(d) and just felt like generic constructs appropriate for the context, but there was some underlying feeling of them being famous within the context. The dream ended shortly after this intro video, when the show "started" by showing some sort of big teddy bear thing on a swivel chair in a very fancy post modern designer house. Vividness was much lower as soon as the intro cut to this sequence. I remember thinking in the dream that the whole thing was somewhat stupid, and that it had nothing to do with Rexxar (despite the featured cuts).
Slept pretty badly, and daylight savings ended 1: I was in a kind of mentoring meeting for engineers, in a dark club room, with a couple of levels and lots of water/fountains. There were a lot of girls there that I tried to seduce, one was successful, redhead. I also felt like there was some sort of conspiracy going on. I left at the end of the session and walked out with everyone else over the sunny hill. My dad was there as well at the end, talking to an instructor 2: I was on a boat in the Caribbean with my friends, we were evading quarantine. 3: I was in a house party with my friends. I was messing around with a light, and found a hidden room in the house, where shaq was hiding. I remember something about playing the hurdy gurdy
Awakening 1: 1: Owned a kind of road toboggan which I used to go down the road to work, eventually it broke and I was quite upset. I had a blanket and old tiny tv in there. Awakening 2: 2: I was editing a movie for school with a couple of other people. Changed the music around in it, added some metal songs into it and was practicing the transitions, and then got ready to present it to media class.
Some dreams but recall was poor, possibly to do with the time I went to bed at. Dream Fragment: Something where I and other people were scriptable entities as if in a game or something. I remember some friend telling me that I smelled badly or something and after that I was accessing something like a scent variable on myself and others, trying to copy someone else's nice scent onto my own variable's field. Extremely vague memory of the visuals, I remember some desaturated warm colours and murky or dark visuals, but I don't think it was night or indoors. Because I can't remember details, I can only say there were some monsters in the dream, I think possibly all dead. I also remember something about a non-moving train. Some of this probably brought on by playing Fallout again recently.
Awakening 1 1: Drive into car park, Hayley come in right after me. Go down stares, somehow my shaved face cuts hers. She gets upset and I don't understand why, eventually realise that my stubble cut her, apologise. Wait in line for a while, then play the hurdy gurdy. 2: At cricket field, a couple of childhood friends there, play some cricket, coach says Aidan is fast Awakening 2 3: Go visit workplace of David with some friends, chemical plant. Wash up and leave, Aidan talks to 7 foot tall man, we leave via a shopping centre and go to the cinema.
A few dreams though I only remember bits of them. Dream Fragment: I remember being in a somewhat dark room and having a discussion with some people about age, in the dream I was around an age when my hair would start greying, starting at the front and just lightly. Mom was there and she commented on how it was just like her dad's hair. I remembered a photo of him that mom has kept in her home office for years since his passing. Then I remember seeing a mirror and seeing myself on it. I looked older but unimaginatively so, but my hair did look a lot like his, except for the fact that his would have curled slightly. Dream Fragment: Perhaps from another segment of the previous dream, but I remember something about trains and a kind of alien (Mars-like?) desert. Day time, clear sky. There were some really high-tech-looking trains and one such train went up a hill into a rounded futuristic building. I was with a group of people (friends?) and we were walking in the opposite direction, though I kept looking. The engine carriage separated and sort of shot off on its own along the rails and quickly hit an end-track bit, bouncing back and then hitting the rest of the carriages. It was some type of freight train, and its ornamental features matched that of the building, featuring a warm orange. Dream Fragment: Something about me or captain Picard, in a large office room of some kind. Other people both friendly and not-so-friendly were there, and we were there to ask for money I think. Starting at 30,000 but then the guy didn't want to give us any more, so then there was this little scene where Picard walked closer to him slowly and then started punching him very fast until the guy, who was also kind of old, fell down on a spiral staircase. He didn't go all the way down or anything, just a couple of steps on his back, because the degree between each step was very small (less than half foot?). The staircase steps were marble and the handrail looked fancy, but I don't remember it in detail. I remember a woman speaking after this had happened and she said "well, now you have 25,000, since you have to take away 5,000 just for that". But then before the dream ended there was something about a million, I don't remember. Notes: - Recently in waking life I'd been thinking about how I don't really ever remember seeing mirrors in my dreams, so I think that's partly what brought on one's appearance in the first fragment. - Typically, despite being the result of a previous conscious thought during wakefulness, I did not realise the connection between the two things in the dream. This is happening quite a bit lately, which is frustrating at times. But it may just be that my recall is also decent lately, so maybe I just think I notice it happening more but it may just always happen this frequently and I haven't realised before. - Featuring myself as being older may also come as the result of conscious thought from waking life, as I often question why I'm always my current age in dreams. Although in the dream, until the hair thing was made obvious by the mirror, I did just feel like my current age anyway. - In the train dream, the group that was with me was a bit shocked with the collision, but I had been expecting it. The dream had a slight Borderlands feel to it. - There was a fourth dream fragment also involving trains but in a completely different context. I can't put the visuals into words now. - The dream with Picard may have just been some continuation of the first fragment. I'm really not sure anymore if these dreams were directly linked or not, because I don't remember any transitions and I had several awakenings this morning.
A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway. Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories. Dream: Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly. This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door. I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too. Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something. Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began. Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already. Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt. Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it. Notes: - When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens. - I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold. - The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like. - In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point. - Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems. - More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too. - The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.
Updated 04-01-2020 at 12:50 PM by 95293
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