non-lucid

Morning of June 6, 2018. Wednesday.



In my dream, I am looking at the Internet. It seems to be late morning. I find myself looking at an archive site for television series, possibly archive dot org, though it is rendered differently. A list of episodes of an unknown television series appears mainly on the left half of the screen, but I do not look at much of the right half of the screen, which seems mostly featureless. (This is logical as dream state orientation autosymbolism is most often directed to the left while waking process autosymbolism is most often on the right. This is a natural result of liminal focus on sleeping as being directed to my left side toward the bed’s surface while waking autosymbolism is oriented to my dream self’s right as it is more open to the environment in reality.)

A dream journalist who exists in real life had made a comment on one of the episodes, saying that the episode was not there and he could not find it anywhere else, worded as “Is the true broadcast available somewhere?” The show is possibly “Frasier” (or implied to be), as I saw parts of this show prior to going to bed (though I have never seen an episode in its entirety). The episode above the one that is supposedly missing features a story about a secretary.

I click on a link under the title of the supposedly missing episode (of which I cannot presently recall the title). I discover it goes to another page of a similar appearance. The episode is there, with the ability to play it on the web page. I look around on the two pages and realize that the episode that was claimed to be missing is actually the only one that is available while the others have only a summary and no link to view the episode. I think of writing to the poster to tell him that “the link is right there in the link”, but that sounds ambiguous and I wake before I write anything.

---

This afternoon in real life, I randomly ended up on the archive website by originally looking at a Wikipedia article. I noticed one of four comments in which it was claimed that “Payment Deferred” from “Studio One” was not actually there as all the other episodes apparently were. Part of the review read “The file present is a mislabeled duplicate of the 25 November 1947 revival broadcast” ending with “Is the true Moorehead/Sloane broadcast available somewhere?”. It was written by someone called “Professional Tourist” way back on May 8, 2011. I had never looked up “Studio One” anywhere online prior to today and that was only due to a reference in Wikipedia about “The Twilight Zone”. Though it is true that many files are mislabeled or missing on websites, it is still a curious and unlikely sequence of events to always have something “repeat” on one level in waking life after the otherwise distorted dream event. Additionally, Googling the detail, two YouTube versions of the “Studio One” episode appeared first, posted in April 23, 2014 and April 24, 2018. (The real event was for a radio show, not television.)

All my life, on a day to day basis, I experience threads of prescience while many other people refuse to accept it. Because of that, it is no longer possible for me to view mainstream society as having any credibility or intelligence where it counts the most. Still, when more is known about the nature of time and perception, the underlying causes may be known, though I have often considered the possibility that people were not meant to know in this era. Presently, I have only publicly acknowledged about 600 precognitive dreams on the dream journal website, though there are many more of which I have never included the full details online.

On a more mundane level, this dream is likely the result of contemplating how this poster (and many others) have beliefs and experiences of which are the opposite of mine. Thus, I find the video which exists and the others do not, the opposite of the original claim.

---

I went to bed pretty early and probably slept by 8:30.
3139 Words.

(ZZZZZZZZ)

Early on I think I dreamed about Nana and other relatives.

I dreamed one scene with my mom and my sister. Doing some kind of interview thing. I had a sheet that said some differences between right wing and left wing. It said that right wing will make you feel bad about yourself.

There was a very interesting battle scene that I can barely describe at all. The words are definitely OTTOTT. Maybe something with a light saber?

There was a part with a woman I was in a relationship with. Something about something I drove. Ah, so vague. Well, I remember being on a bed, and I was hoping she would eat a banana I had provided. (No innuendos, it was just a banana!) But then part of it fell under the bed so she ate some of someone else's. I felt a sense of jealousy or possessiveness that she should only eat the one from me. But when I looked, the banana had rolled halfway under the bed. So it was nothing personal. Still, I couldn't shake it.

Someone on a sub reddit said that they had 7 tiger dreams where the tiger was doing a specific thing. I thought that was interesting.

I guess I eventually woke up. This first round dream recall was pretty vague. I would've liked more clarity on it. Well, first round dreams can be like that sometimes. I will go back to bed for now.

(ZZZZZZZZZ)

I had some dreams, and recalled them. 'They weren't really enough to justify getting up and typing,' I thought, 'But maybe I will get my voice recorder and make a note or two.' So it was RBFA and I couldn't remember them by the end of the next dreams, which went on and on.

(ZZZZZZZZ)

My memory of these dreams begins with me, pulling into the local beach. S beach. I pulled in through the exit place and found that there were all these things that looked like fire trucks or the trailers that they bring on-set for actors to live in. I remember being on line to get food or admission. There was a woman taking payments. I gave her 5 dollars but the price was $1000. I meant to pay with my debit card. "Do you want to pay with $5 cash and the rest on the debit card?" she asked, kind of confused. "No, thanks, I want it all on the card," I said. I'm not sure what happened next.

There's a big gap in my memory in the middle here. I became lucid and it felt like a lot happened, but it was a really long continuous dream. (Major FSH.)

Where my memory picks back up is that I was in a bathroom, putting a shirt on. I wanted to go in the bathroom to put the shirt on out of modesty. It was a navy blue long sleeve shirt. I guess I hadn't been wearing one. I closed the door on one side but there was an open door on the other, with a gold handle. I noticed people coming in that way and closed it, asking for a little more time to put my shirt on. There was a fridge in the room, I think. I remember something with a blender.


After that, I have forgot more things. I remember being lucid though. Where my memory picks up again, I was sitting at a table with 4 other people. I think another guy and 3 women. We were talking, and I asked them, "Are you all lucid, too?" and every one of them said yes. They made no denial that it was a dream, which was very exciting. I realized it had been a really long dream so far and that it would probably start to end soon. Not just for me, but for all of us. 'Wait, maybe they haven't been here as long as I have,' I thought. "Hey, guys, I think my dreaming is going to end soon. Can you all stabilize my dream for me?" I asked. I might have used the words "Can you help me stabilize my dream." I'm not sure which or another variation. I put my hands out, thinking they might some how pull me further into the dream. I started to lose my vision and see only black.

"You have to do that yourself," they all said, kind of in unison, I think. I understood what they meant. I had to be responsible for my own dream stability, and find my own special way. "I'M STAYIN' IN THIS DREAM!!! YEAH, BUDDY!!!" I exclaimed. I was trying to mimic Ronnie Coleman, from The Cost of Redemption, when he does the 800 pound squats. The others in the dream laughed.

I regained sight of them for a moment. They seemed to get up to go somewhere. I lost my sight again and couldn't see anything but black. However, I could feel my dream body. I tried to make a weight lifting bar appear with over 400 pounds and do a deadlift. So I imagined the bar then reached down and felt like I did it, even though, there was no sight. After that, still with no sight, I got up and flew. I felt myself flying a little, willing the dream to continue.

I want to mention that at some point in there, I must have met another person in the dream who identified as Charlie. Because later, when I met Charlie, I felt like I had met him before in the same dream. Also, I think there was a character with a non-human head or mask on. Who followed me into the next dream thing.


Another dream began, where I was in a room. There was a character with a circular helmet or head thing. Kind of like a pumpkin face, with the pokey teeth. But it was comprised of black, grey, red and white colors, mainly. This character who I will call P was on top of me, pinning me down. (But it wasn't pinning me down as in a night terror. It was clearly a distinct dream.) I knew it was a dream, still, and I tried to roll this character off me, but he wouldn't budge. I was afraid he would begin to pinch or torture me some how.

I think something happened before he hurt me and he got up. I asked him if I could please leave, because it felt like he had trapped me. He said okay, and pointed to the next room, as an exit. (Now that I look back, I realize that he could have been a part of me that I would be better off having a chat with. And learning to understand. But it didn't occur to me. So I apologize to him.)

The next room turned out to be a bathroom. I wondered why he didn't point me out the front door, but figured that his parents were home, and he didn't want them to see me leaving. I saw there was a sky light, and with some confidence about it, flew up through that. There were two panels i had to open. One opened in, maybe the screen, the other opened out, maybe the window.

When I flew up, I lost sight. I imagined that if I looked down, I should see buildings and houses, because I had just left someone's home. However, when I finally did get a glimpse of what was below me, it was more like a body of water with a little island. When my vision came back I saw a very vivid, blue-green body of water, with ocean-like waves. What a nice surprise. There was a little circular brown space that I might have been able to land on. I think I landed there for a moment and looked to the shore.
First, I repeated my dream stabilizing, Ronnie Coleman impression, "YEAH BUDDY! I'M STABILIZING THE DREAM!!!" It got a lot more vivid.

Looking at the shore, there were a series of cages, one containing a big brown anaconda type of snake. There was one water tower to the left with a white basin, and then a bunch of brown pillars of varying heights. Finally, there was a brown water tower off to the right. And some land and buildings. I flew over to the anaconda cage to land on the first pillar. My aim was pretty good. The anaconda didn't even snap its teeth. (I expected it to.)

Then I got to practice some coordination with my flying. I flew from pillar to pillar. They had flat tops but were made of giant logs. I found that if I was a little too far to the left or right, I could adjust my path with a little arm movement. So I landed on top of one pillar. The tops were a little wet, but I didn't slip. It was a mix of jumping and flying since I began to feel a need to land after a few moments.

Once I got to the highest pillar, the next leap would be up to the top of the brown water tower. It was dispensing this ladder-thing and had various words written on it. I took a leap. My goal was to drink some of the water from it. The ladder seemed to be dropping down faster than I'd climb it.

My jump-flight lost energy and I started slowly going back downward. There were some gold pipes in the wall, which I assumed would be burning hot. I tried to grab one anyway, to hang on, but it turned out to be burning hot. I don't think I really felt burning heat, but I pulled away as if I did.

When I landed, I was in a hall-way thing. There were two little snakes fighting. One was a gold one with a really cool shielded back. Some voice was talking about how it uses its shielding scales and they glinted and shined. It was maybe 2 feet long. then there was a little green snake. It was maybe 6 inches long. It would wrap itself around the yellow snake and try to slice it apart or squeeze its segments so hard that it popped off.

The yellow snake's head popped off, but re-appeared on its body a few times. They continued fighting like this. I was amazed at how the little green snake was winning against the much bigger yellow snake. I was also conscious not to stare at any one point for too long, as I heard staring at any one thing too long will wake me up, so I looked away for a moment here and there.

Then my attention was diverted to some people that came to talk to me. One identified as Charlie, who I remembered from before. An African American man came towards me and told me I would be performing a task for them, and receive a donut in return. he was wearing a black polo shirt thing.

"A dream donut?" I asked, thinking that these people were lucid, too. They didn't deny it was a dream but Charlie just said, "Yes, a dream donut." But his tone sounded like he thought it was waking life, and just thought the idea of a "dream donut" was funny. But to me, a "dream donut" meant that I could actually eat it, where as in waking life, I couldn't. So I was very excited to peform their task!

It was some kind of acting gig. I found myself standing next to a tall woman, looking into a yoga class. the woman in there said that she could train any gender, male or female, but preferred to work with females. She was massaging someone or something like that.

'Oops!' I thought as the dream faded. I had not stabilized in a while, and it ended.

I woke up physically from that and thought it through. Got up to go to the rest room. I was going to type it but I felt so tired. Also, i was afraid it would be like 4 A M, then 5 A M when I typed it, and then I wouldn't sleep again. so I laid back down thinking maybe I'll remember more, and keep it in my head when I wake up. So that's an RBFA. I did re-remember all that I initially remembered, luckily. I guess I'm glad I got the sleep. I think my fear of forgetting dreams will drive me to record them but recording them sometimes wakes me up too much and I end up not sleeping well.

As I fell back to sleep I tried to keep the dream in mind, and little details did continue to come back. Eventually I saw some hypnagogic circles and felt my body get a little tingly or heavy.

(ZZZZZZZZ)

I remember little mini dream flashes happen and then I'd wake up thinking of the other dreams. It is usually a confirmation I'll be in a dream soon.

I found myself in a dream in my Nana's room. I don't remember it very well! Argh. I kept snoozing and trying to keep them in my head. I think it was something about pranks. people from my house in college were there. A R, O A, maybe C V, and others. But unfortunately it is quite vague! I know that I thought it was a repeat-dream of other dreams I had in the past. However once I was awake I wasn't sure. Sometimes the dream just makes that effect.

The last part before I woke up is also kinda blurry. Blurry! I was at Nana's. Aunt B, Aunt C and Nana were there. Something with blue paint or a blue gift bag, maybe. I remember accidentally scratching a phrase onto Nana's kitchen-island thing, which turned out to be a black surface in the dream. The scratched words left a tan color underneath. I felt bad about scratching it up, and hoped they would cover it.

I went into the dining room with a 16oz poland spring sized bottle of a yellow drink. I drank half thinking that it was sugar free or something but kinda wondered why I would drink it when i don't drink artificial sweeteners in waking life. Maybe slightly pre-lucid. When I sat in the cushioned arm chair I noticed the filing cabinet was tan with some soft parts. (It was black earlier in the dream.) I read a date and time on one of the things which seemed early. maybe April 5, not sure, and maybe 4 or 5 A M, not sure. (Oh! I just remembered when I pulled into the beach in the way earlier dream it was something about 5 A M!)

Aunt C and Aunt B were talking about how they could order everything off the dollar menu but not the main menu. If they ordered everything off the dollar menu it would be okay to eat it all but not the main menu. Something like that. I was picturing what foods there might be. There was also something about using less medicine. That sounded good to me.

I was kind of drifting in and out of those dreams. I got up and looked at a clock in a panic, worried that W A would be soon. but it was only 6:07 A M and W A wasn't until 7:30 A M. I was kind of mad at myself for getting up in such a panic. Part of my panic was also that I felt all my dreams were gonna slip away from my mind. But I was still so tired when I finally got up. It was interesting because I adrenalized over it, which is a W A thing. As I typed these, I was wondering to myself if it would ever be possible to sleep a full night, and not record dreams 'til morning, but still remember them all.

In W A we say, "Even if offered the best, we say no if we need rest." So I have been essentially ignoring that slogan. When I have a really cool dream to write, I am being "offered the best". But really, its night time, and sometimes I need rest. However I try to put the sleep off until later so I can record the dream. This isn't always the best feeling, since sometimes my body wants to sleep. I don't think the answer is to stop dream journaling or start "throwing away" my dreams since they are very life-affirming. So I will look for a balance in that... But hopefully not at the cost of any dream details!!!

I live in a large house with my girlfriend(let's call her Owl) in a marshy, swampy area. There's lots of greenery and a pasture in the backyard. Owl and I have to take care of some ragged man. He has dirty clothes, brown hair that hasn't been washed in so long it's in dreads, and vivid blue eyes. He has a huge, sarcastic grin on his face at almost all times, and consistently acts like he's high.

Unsure what to do, we lock this man in our gray shed, just outside the house. I have Owl keep watch while I try to find a better alternative to the situation, but when I come back, he has escaped. I say something like, "What did you expect, with us keeping him locked up like that?" and then the dream fades out as I wake up.

I have fallen asleep on the couch, it is 5am, and since I can sleep in, I decide to go to my real bed and try to continue the dream. I'm still partially in the dream, so I try to "pause" it as I go to my bed.

I lay down in my bed and settle in to sleep again, having never full woken up in the first place. The dream comes back int view quickly, but now there's a pause menu up, like it's a video game screen. It asks if I wish to continue, and gives me two options:

YES

GOLF

I find this so funny that I start to laugh and wake myself up from the dream completely. Apparently I couldn't say no!

Date: WED 6 JUN - 2018



Dream No. 349 - Community Funeral

I don't remember much about this dream. From where I can remember, I was on the grounds of Killester but forgot what I was specifically doing there. Someone had died and so a whole bunch of Killester girls were invited to attend their funeral, including me. My mum was also invited but rather than sitting with the family, I sat with the school. Additionally, it was revealed that JSe was actually going to be the celebrant; he was standing up the front of the hall, wearing an orange robe. That's all I can remember for this dream.



Dream Tasks
- Have Logan receive harsh penalties from Dreamy WB due to reckless social behaviours (Achieved? No)
- Investigate where my SML postage has gone (Achieved? No)
- Reach the Gyeongbokgung Palace (Achieved? Partially)
- Have Dreamy WB or Murray go to console an upset dream character (Achieved? No)
- In accordance to the "shared dreaming experiment" proceed on locating the moon (Achieved? No)



Dream 348: Results (Competition #4)
Competition Night: 5
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 0.5
Calculation Details:
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)

+ Previous Total: 7.5
Total Accumulated Points: 8.0

I’m walking down the metallic corridor of a spaceship, carrying a small backpack and some other item with me. I spot a door on the left-hand side and walk in. It’s a little room with a bed, a sink and various other useful things along the walls. I set my things down. It looks like nobody’s claimed this one yet. I’m glad because I like room #2—they’re all pretty similar, but I just like this one more for some reason.

I look at the bed—just a molded bit of plastic, no sheets on it yet. It’s pretty uncomfortable. I could have brought some extra bedclothes, knowing in advance that it would be, but I figured I’d just pick some up along the way.

All of this is so familiar to me because I can remember all of it happening before, even the things that haven’t happened yet. If déjà vu is like seeing a firefly flickering in the darkness, this is like being in broad daylight. I remember all of it, although not everything seems to be set in stone—little things like my being the first one here and the outcome of one very big thing that’s still a long way in the future.

Somewhere out in space, there’s an odd device wired into the workings of a satellite devoted to climate monitoring. The device had originally been with me, but some time back, in the midst of a chaotic situation, some group had managed to get their hands on it—not a hostile group, exactly, but not overly friendly either. They had managed to figure out that it was a powerful device and even how to get it to do some interesting things, but they really have no idea what it was capable of.

This situation doesn’t bother me too much. An unmanned climate monitoring satellite isn’t a bad place for the thing for the time being. They’ve taken great pains to keep it a secret, and nobody is likely to find it there. And when it leaves dormancy and begins to destroy the satellite—it is a matter of when rather than if—there’s only so much damage it can do.

That won’t be for a while yet. It will also take a while for them to trace it back to the device and figure out just what they’re dealing with. And that’s when they’ll come to me. I have some kind of connection with this thing, which is how I know all this, and I’m the only one who has a chance of destroying it. I won’t have to bother about getting it back. All I have to do is make sure I’m ready when the time comes.

Someone else enters the room—a young woman, tall with short, blonde hair and a punk-ish look. I’m one of four people who have just been brought here, possibly as some kind of training program, and she’s another of them. She tells me the people in charge here found something out about her past and are making her take some kind of test—something they needed a blood sample for. She hasn’t got the results back yet. I don’t know anyone here that well yet, but I have the impression she just needs someone to talk to.

We go out together, through a door in the ceiling. We aren’t actually in space now—we’re parked. It’s definitely not earth, though: we move through the air like swimming, as if gravity is very low here. It’s dark out, and there’s nobody else around. Not far from us is a park with a playground. We float over to it. I notice my companion is wearing a purple pair of flippers, which strikes me as a smart idea—she can probably move faster that way.

I grab ahold of a colorful children’s play structure and maneuver through a hole in it. Might as well get a feel for what it’s like moving through the air like this. I think that this, in a way, is also preparation for what I’ll eventually have to do.

The woman heads back to the spaceship at some point, but I stay out a bit longer.

5.6.18

Day 113:

Nothing to report.


Day 114:

Dream 96: And yet another zombie apocalypse dream, again

I don't get why these dreams are so common for me. Anyway, the dream revolved around me trying to chase away diseased cows away from our food supply. I was in full cowboy gear; horse, lasso, the whole shebang. I think one of them ended up in the ranch so, yeah, Mad Cow a'coming.


Day 115:

Nothing to report.

1738 words
I'm listening to Brainwave Power Music in the evening now to help relax before bed. Going to bed around 8 or 830.

(ZZZZZZZZZ)

I dreamed of a mix of things and its all very blurry. An open jeep? Some kind of essay. D G again.

Some kind of essay thing?

So, I guess that was vague. Back to bed.

I also vaguely remembered fighting someone in some building.

(ZZZZZZZZZZZ)

I had more RBFA until I eventually got up to write. I remember a part at my Nana's. Something with Uncle C, maybe smoking or drinking or being mad. I forgot exactly. Something with my sister or other relatives.

I remember a part where I was recalling the dream backwards, but it was in a dream, and I was seeing the dream as it went. So it showed a part of being on a dock. And all these ducks or bird things floating by. I think I went to sleep on the dock and one flew over me. Maybe they were going to poop on me. I don't fully remember.

I remember getting back to a class room and the teacher told me I would have "attention training." I said, "Is that detention?!" And he said yes. It was because my back pack was too heavy when I handed it in for my project. I showed him how there had been no rule listed for how heavy the back pack could be. "This is unfair! I like dinosaurs, and thats why I chose these books!" was my reply, pulling out the 2 big dinosaur books to show him. Other students had bags of slightly smaller books. But the teacher was just not reasonable. He had my car keys, but I knew two things. One, he didn't have the title, so he couldn't really keep them. Two, I had another car with another set of keys I could use, anyway.

Eventually, it got to 3:45 P M and I saw the clock. And decided to go for the bus. (Really thinking of 2:45 for the bus time.) I pretended to go to the bathroom then ran for the bus as fast as I could. I saw one that said L V Library and one that said O B and I was trying to get into those. as I ran by the other kids in the hall, the buses in the front (of the L V high school bus drive way) were all leaving. The kids next to me were saying something like, "Aw, man." for missing them. I tried yelling out to the buses to please stop, but they wouldn't stop. I remember looking at the buses and wishing they had the name of the locations they went to, so it would be easy to know.

Eventually I got on one bus that said "Italian P" where the P stood for some word I forgot. I was the only person on the bus.

Eventually I arrived back in the class room, having missed the bus. Mr. R from gym class was there. He was usually nice to me but now he was holding me in detention for no reason. I also remember myself and another kid near him, talking but I forgot what it was about. D H was another scape goat. I remember R M and T H sandwiching his desk and I was like, "Guys, its bad enough already. Give him a break."

The teacher gave us these packs of playing cards. They were kind of like Pokemon cards or Magic or Yu Gi Oh cards. He had his cards up on a projector and we all had to counter his cards. I didn't have any. D H passed me four packs but I felt like I couldn't take them. There were a lot of energy cards and I wondered if I could use Pokemon's energy cards, which I already had.

I started to wonder what would happen when I had to get up. I was resting a lot by leaning on the desk on a cushion and no one really objected. But I was thinking of how if I had dreamed, it would be hard to remember if I had to leave abruptly, and couldn't stay a while. I remember C L and T L talking about how to walk up through the L library to get back to B, our town. But I couldn't really picture this. i remember some fences and woods which made it a tricky path, but thinking that it would be cool to have the couple miles of walking each day. When the buses had been there, I was thinking of how long it would take just to walk home, but also that they would pick me up alongside the road. Actually, I think some police officers even did catch me at some point, and take me back to detention. Not sure.

There was a part where I was visiting this animal hospital thing. And there was a dog. Eric, the guy from the animal hospital, was showing me one dog. I pet it. It seemed to like me. He said I have to ask the dog questions and tell the dog I want to get to know it. The dog had some metal wires around it which were used to pick it up. They were thick gold wires. When I pet it, the wires were revealed. Eric showed me how the dog liked to be picked up by the wires but to me, it didn't seem to like that.

I explained to Eric that I shouldn't get the dog's hopes up. I didn't have a place for it at home, couldn't have dogs there, and so that wouldn't be fair to the dog. He kept insisting that I think about taking the dog. I let him insist and even agreed to take his phone number in case I got strong feelings, and changed my mind. One female nurse there held up a bowl of candies in metallic green or metallic purple wrappers. Some of each. Eric said that she was offering me Reeses Cups so I just figured they had interesting shapes now. At one point, I struggled to remember Eric's name, when trying to write his number.

I insisted the one nurse put down the bowl because it was heavy, and she would strain her arms. She agreed to put it down. There was another nurse, an older woman. She had one eye that was like a big blue marble. She drew me closer to her and showed me how she could open her eye and it was bigger than the other, but not the same blue marble. Then she could close and re-open and the big marble would appear. She explained it to me. I didn't realize it was a dream, but now that I write it, I see how dream like that really is. She had dark hair. The eye was kind of scary to look at. Her other eye was average size and looked like most eyes. Taking Eric's number in case I got strong feelings about the dog seemed silly at first but I realized that sometimes that can happen and its good to have someone to talk to.

I remembered another part where there had been bushes out front of my parents old house. Dad mowed the lawn, and cut down everything. It was pretty brutal because he cut down a lot of plant life, not just grass. It was because of how he mis-treated the rabbit today, I think. I remember walking by the garage.

Another part was this scene of a rapper. We were all sitting in class room desks. There was a little hologram of a rapper up on a thing on the wall, rapping to us. Everyone sat and listened. Gradually, green spinach mush built up around the rapper so I removed it with my hands. people appreciated this. Some how I was given a front row seat, right up to the rapper.

Someone told me how they do this "he said, she said" thing with moving their hands side to side, whispering it. They had all these little customs they would do. The "he said, she said" thing was said to produce a "high" if it was done five times.

Later in the dream I thought of making my own rap songs and using these as ad-libs. After hearing that rapper I thought it would be easy to make my own.

I remember this map thing. Not sure if it was earlier. But it was scrolling down to a series of letters. And in another part it showed the north of one state with an arrow and the word "Ludacris" (I think) and the south had an arrow with "Masonry" (I think). Ludacris reminded me of the rapper. The arrows were curved arrows going left to right. The map was light green. The names of states were different but I tried to think to see if they were American states, just ones I hadn't remembered.

So I woke up from those, recalled and eventually recorded, after some RBFA. They were interesting. Now its actually already 5 A M or so. I hope to be able to sleep one more time though.

(ZZZZZZZZZ?)

Well, I couldn't get back to sleep.

Dream: I was in a gym, rolling (a term equivalent to sparring in BJJ) with some unknown person. I had earphones in and was listening to a song by Flatbush Zombies*. The instructor came over to me, as I was in side mount, placed his hand on my back and signaled for the rolling session to be over. He lined the rest of those in the gym in a line with me and called out the names of those who would move onto compete in a break-dancing competition. Me and some other unknown people were chosen. I seemed very excited to be chosen. I told the instructor it was because I was listening to FZ* that I was able to perform. [My memory of the events that follow are vague...]

My parents are driving me out of the city of Toronto, surrounded by a few high rises, leading onto an overpass. I mention that this was not the way to the hotel where the audition would take place. My parents turn around and we head to the hotel [Vague...]

I'm walking through a thin hallway with the instructor who I assume is leading me to the competition. We end up in a room outside where my friend 'BB' blows dust in my face several times, each time I grow irritated. I continue to follow the instructor who leads me to his black van. He slides the side door open which reveals two large tubs full of compacted keef and one seat which the instructor is sitting on, gesturing for me to come in.

Side notes:
I attempted a MILD, but I don't think I performed it correctly.

---

Total Dream Sign Count
Inner Awareness = 2
Action = 1
Form = 4
Context = 2

Total LD's/Dream = 0/5 = 0%

Please comment and let me know if you think I missed some dream sign classifications in the journal entry!

I was watching the sun, it started flickering and turning different colors. It turned pink, and I was like...well that's different. I think I may have willed it to burn out because I kept thinking it looks like its trying to burn out...then everything went dark, the sun died. I turned to some friends and said, "Well boys, we lost the sun" Then it turned back on.
Then the whole dream changed and I was in a classroom filled with women listening to a lecture about the history of slavery... I kept asking what I was doing here? I told the lecturer that this was stupid, and I was wasn't going to watch a power point presentation about slaves but the person giving the lecture looked like a lizard wearing human makeup...or a very unattractive tranny wearing a lizard costume. I got up and walked out and the dream ended. Weird yo.

I’m sitting at a table by a window in what seems to be a coffee shop/bookshop, looking down at the streets below—a couple floors below, I’d say. The people in the room are seated at couches on both sides of the tables, and it seems to be pretty full right now. The street below is has broad sidewalks on either side of the road and mostly tall buildings with shop windows along the side of it I can see - a city center vibe. And while this is supposedly Prague—it seems I’ve come here for a week or so—it doesn’t resemble anywhere in particular.

It’s early evening. The streetlights have come on and snow is falling, and I spend a while just watching people go by. I think about how I could watch the snow fall from where I’m staying as well. It would also be nice in its own way, but there wouldn’t be anywhere near as much going on.

4.6.18

Dream: I was watching kids play ball hockey in what seemed to be my grades book gym. I must have been the coach because one of my kids scored to win the game so I ran into the court, picked up him up side ways and pretended to ram him through the rest of the players like an battering ram. All the kids were laughing. Our team was gathered together celebrating the win when I noticed a kid weeping. The rest of the team noticed as well and the mood changed from happy to sad. I asked him why he was upset and he said something like he didn’t feel included. I took him outside the gym to talk so he wouldn’t be embarrassed. I gave him some words of comfort and said something along the 'swearing is fun' to cheer him up. He laughed so I picked him up but he was heavy which I told him and threw him in the snow. Now that he was all cheered up we walked back to the gym.

As I enter the gym I notice it is an ice hockey arena with grown men playing hockey. I can see their faces clearly when suddenly everything transforms into a football game. The players play as though it’s rugby rules with constant lateral passes.

The surrounding area now turns into a tropical beach with the outskirts of a big city and an ocean a few yards after a small cliff and a rock plateau. I noticed my friends were gone. I also noticed at least somethings moving along the plateau a large (they turned out to be crabs) rabid man ran to the front of the pack and snatched one to eat. I turn back and realise I don’t know anybody. There’s a man sharpening a knife under a long tarp near the street. I can tell he’s bad. I offer him something to look through like a telescope or binoculars but when he opens the casing to look through his face his shot with this thick beige mold like really thick oatmeal which I hope kills him. He starts laughing maniacally. I realize I had gotten that strange material from my friends who were trapped under the surface of the ground but had turn to zombies with purple and blue shiny eyes. My attention returns to the man sharpening his knife, but now he’s crawling on his stomach as if he has lost the use of his lower body. He’s purple, silver, and shining. I’m trying to walk away but it feels hard to do so. I run into the city which is decaying except a place possibly called “Waysayckers”. I ask the guy if I could train martial arts there 24/7 but he tells me there’s no way he’d let that happen. I see a kid with small stickers or patches polka dotting across his go doing front kicks.

Fragment: Moving into a house with roommates from my 3rd year of university and partying, smoking weed, drinking.

Fragment: Sleeping in the same bed as Steve, looking at photos of me cut-out and dressed in real cloth.

Fragment: Preparing soup lunches on the floor for my family

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Dream Sign Count
Inner Awareness = 1
Action = 0
Form = 3
Context = 1

Total LD's/Dream = 0/4 = 0%

Please comment and let me know if you think I missed some dream sign classifications in the journal entry!

I went to bed around 8.
3145 words

(ZZZZZZZZZZZ)

After my first few hours sleep I woke up and thought through my dreams. I actually sat in my chair and recalled them sitting with my lap top instead of laying back down. To ensure I didn't have the RBFA. My chair reclines so its comfortable enough to kinda think of my dreams without strain, but it's not gonna let me fall asleep under most conditions.

I forgot the earliest stuff. I remember something from my Nana's. Something with my cousin J, and Nana, and maybe Aunt B. Probably other relatives, too. Something near the pool.

I remember walking down the beach, on the side accross from the other state. There were people, doing various things. One person was commenting on someone far away, eating too close to a garbage can.

I don't remember a lot else from walking down that beach, but there was more stuff. When I got to the end, there was someone smoking. Then I walked up, kinda angry and saw more people at a table, seeming to be about to smoke. So I "gave them a piece of my mind" by saying, "I'm sick of your crap" or something like that. I forgot exactly what happened.

I remember walking away from there, afraid they were mad at me. I was a few blocks from the block I lived on, since fourth grade, but I turned up 2 earlier streets coming from the lower numbers. D G was on that road.

He was residually mad at me from before, so we fought. I managed to pin him down and thought this would be best so that he didn't escape and hurt me some how.

I had been holding him down with weapons but let him get up. P B and 2 other guys came along, one a replica of P B. F S H. Then there was something with these pills we had to take. They were like retainer brite pills. I remember thinking of when I should take it, then remembering, "Wait. I'm supposed to just take the medicine, not try to analyze how and when." P B was to my left, and had a thicker pill, which was supposed to be the "negative ion" of the one I had. it was thicker. The word Hydro Chloride comes to mind and my pill may have been something with an M.

I kinda remembered something with A J or J M, my Dad's friend's kids. But, only vaguely...

In this last part, we were at my college house. Y J was there. It was a party. There was some winter holiday sounding music, saying, "Please be (religious chracter), Please be (religious character), Please be (religious character) tonight." I wonder if I will remember the tone. I was sitting at my desk kind of annoyed maybe.

There may have been something with a pool somewhere in there.

Okay! Good to get those typed before going back to bed. Would have like to have recalled more but its okay for first round of dreams. Back to bed.

(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

It took my a while to fall asleep that time, but I finally did. I had some restless legs but not enough energy to get up and exercise. I dreamed that I was in my room. And had some foam thing next to my bed that wouldn't stay up. I was on the phone with M from Florida while trying to turn on my lap top. The room was kind of dark. I remember the lap top screen.

M was saying something about how people apply the same stuff to dating as they did to church and they have to stop that to have any success dating. I think I was afraid my dad heard the conversation. I woke up, recalled it, and then RBFA.

(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

In this next dream I was driving one of the silver cars. I parked somewhere. I was wearing my orange glasses to drive as well as jeans and a navy blue shirt. FSH.

I remember getting to this building that was made for people to come hang out. Like a "boys and girls club" but for any ages. I remember walking in, and seeing some older people there at first. Forgot some of those details. At some point I became lucid but its not clear to me now exactly how or when.

I remember talking to some people from there, but I was afraid the indoor lighting would keep me up at night. Still, I liked the fact that people could see my eyes, without my orange glasses. I figured I'd put on my orange glasses on the way home and still fall asleep. So that wasn't lucid yet. I talked with 2 guys there at first. I've been thinking recently in waking life about how I don't go out much, so in this dream, I felt good about having gotten out more. I was like, 'Oh, yeah, I come here every week! I'm getting out a lot. Maybe I will even find a girl friend here!'

There was a chalk board that said something about how some people think gaming is okay but "believers" and some other people don't. But they have to not interfere with the people who like gaming.

I know I got lucid at some point. I walked through one room and someone was on a computer. I still had my clothes on. But suddenly, I was naked! 'Was I naked all this time?' I thought. 'No,' I remembered. 'It's a dream and my clothes must have just dissappeared.' I still tried to get some privacy.

Around the corner there was a woman. "Don't come here! I'm naked!" I said. "Wait," I said, knowing it was a dream. I basically asked her to psychically make clothes appear on me. It didn't work. We interacted some more, and I woke up.

I laid there and recalled them, and had another RBFA! But it's okay because my memory held up pretty well.

(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

In these dreams, my sister and I were on a picnic blanket at the beach. There was something with Eckhart Tolle's voice, too. But I remember looking out accross the water and it went on forever, no sign of anything on the other side. And there was a brilliant orange glow to it, like a sun rise or sun set. When we looked up the beach, that seemed to go on forever, too.

The Eckhart Tolle voice was joking about how it must be India. But it was silly because there was no indication of any particular location. It was just a beach somewhere in the world, presumably near the ocean. I'm not sure if I became lucid there.

I "woke up" to another dream from that one, and I was sleeping in my room at my current location. Only it was like being kids and my sister shared a room with me. We both woke up at the same time like, "Wow! We just had a cool lucid dream of being on the beach!" So the context was that we had both been working on lucid dreaming together, and sharing dreams.

We carried our bedding accross the hall to mom and dad's room, which in waking life is just dad's room, accross the hall from mine. We were gonna sleep on their floor. Mom seemed unsure about this but it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. To sleep on mom and dad's floor and tell them about our dreams.

So, I woke from those, and recalled them, and didn't RBFA. My recall was overall pretty good and the dreams were very interesting.

(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

It took a while to fall asleep again, but eventually, sleep happened. I remember there was a pizza, but it was for other people. I ate some anyway. Then they came back. I thought I would be in trouble. This part is kinda vague.

There was a bunch of stuff in the middle of this dream. I remember walking around, hoping to find where A J N worked because I would move to that state and see if she was single.

I remember pacing around the house and turning. There was some other stuff, but it was too vague. There was a significant amount of it though, and I had become lucid.

Where my memory picks back up, I was walking around with my hands in a sort of clasped position (one palm holding the other hand, with the palms open?) and a woman told me I looked pathetic that way. And that I should stand more proudly, basically. I told her my mom said something similar. (Was that in the dream?) Anyway, I continued talking to her, when this old man with a big white beard appeared. He looked like of like Saruman the White from Lord of the Rings.

The woman seemed to not notice him. "Do you see that guy?" I kept asking her. I think I was lucid. The guy with the white beard started trying to dance with me, and she didn't acknowledge him. But then eventually she did. I think the woman had brown hair, and was wearing red. There was a white fridge in the room.

I woke up from that briefly, and thought about it. But then had a DEILD.

The first thing I wanted to do was recall the previous dream, because it was so long. (I guess it was REM rebound.) So, I tried to find a place to lay down. There was a table I tried to lay down on but it wasn't that comfortable. I decided I would need a cushion, and went looking.

There was a room with a woman and a baby. I think I talked to them a little. Then, I got the cushion. There were plenty of cushions. I laid it on the table and almost laid down to do my dream recall, when I decided, 'I am in a dream already! I will just let the chips fall where they may in terms of recall. And for now, I will just explore the dream.' So I walked into another series of rooms.

Each one had a woman and a baby, I think. I walked through one, through a door to another. Through a door to a third room, and I got to some place kind of new. It was playing Here as in Heaven by Elevation Worship. The music was really faint but it took a while to realize what it was. I think the words were the same.

I remember seeing these little machines which dispensed Jelly Beans. 'Dream food!' I thought. 'Gotta go get some!' But I felt like I wasn't allowed, for some reason. I went anyway, and dispensed some Jelly Beans with the little knob thing. I ate a hand ful. They were super sweet and tasted exactly like my memory of Jelly Beans. I don't think I've had Jelly Beans in over 5 years, maybe even 8-10 years. But I clearly remember thinking that this was exactly how I remembered them tasting. 'They are taking a while to chew,' I thought. I wanted to eat the next bite. I thought about Steve Pavlina's Dream Food article and how the Dream Donuts melted in his mouth within moments, allowing him to eat the whole thing easily. But these Jelly Beans were stuck in my mouth and I was getting bored. Also, this cookie thing appeared. A few of them. They were square with some kind of bumpy frosting. They looked like pop tarts. I remember looking up to see what the music was coming from, and the dream ended.

I had a false awakening of being on my dream journal chair, on my lap top, ready to dream journal. My dream journal chair was where my exercise bike is in waking life. Instead of my note pad file, it showed a video screen of another guy's face. As if I was on Skype, but every word I said, he mirrored it, to where I thought he was reading my mind and then saying what I was going to say before I could.

Eventually I told him, "Look, I'm sorry, but I need to dream journal." I think that's what I said, unless I some how decided that talking to him was enough of a dream journal, or became lucid. Not sure. Then a moose appeared. "A moose just appeared," I told him. He made a dog appear. The dog jumped on the moose's back and suddenly the dog had antlers but the moose did not. Then there was a puddle I think they drank out of. The moose got antlers again.

I woke from that back to bed but I was in the phase again, really. I heard some ringing, but highly doubted anything else would happen. No way I would have another dream.

But, I actually had one more false awakening of going to use my dream journal chair. I just don't remember what happened in it besides the room being light. When I appeared back in bed, I think I was still in the phase, having a stream of conciousness. I was trying to do dream recall but it wasn't working because I was still in the phase, and just didn't know.

Eventually I found myself physically awake again, and realized, "Oh. This time I am really awake." And then proceeded to do dream recall. The giant gap of missing material from the middle of that first dream was sad, but the rest of the memory was good. That's to be expected with REM Rebound. The dream is too long to fully remember. That's why sleeping regularly is ideal for dream recall, because it's easier to remember a dream of average length. (I think.)

I got up to go #1, and then instead of typing, decided to lay back down. I realized it would be a gamble to RBFA but that if I was awake enough to recognize what a gamble it would be, I was awake enough to remember the dreams next time. It worked, and I'm lucky!

(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

I slept some more and had more dreams. I don't remember the exact order and there was a bunch of RBFA.

I remember a part where I was over my neighbors' house. It was drizzling. I had gone into their garage or something. I forgot why and I don't think I knew why in the dream, either. One of them asked me if it bothered me that they had some red wine. I said it didn't bother me but it kinda did.

One of the last dreams was pretty complex. I had laid there a while, and eventually I felt like the dream transported me back to a previous scene of the earlier lucid dreams, which was exciting. Now that I think of it, I don't remember this being a repeat, but I felt like it was. There was someone gambling. They kept bringing up their tokens and winning a lot. But they said the person at the desk never complimented them for their wins, only put them down for their losses. I remembered R from my job in the Mid West.

There was a part with D W. I had a giant thing of rice. I offered him some. He took two globs and pretended to eat them but then spit them out. It was all meant to be a joke.

My memory is weirdly blanking out. There was stuff I had in my head but it's vanishing. Maybe it will come back if I lay down.

(ZZZ?)

Well, actually I didn't fall back asleep. I remembered one scene where I was in a room and there were women there. I had a stack of money from 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bills. I put it out on the table to kind of show off. I might have been lucid. I remember there was a 55 dollar bill which seemed funny to me. I also remembered the skee ball table thing where the guy was getting the tokens, and feeling like I was predicting things within the dream.

Morning of June 4, 2018. Monday.



I find myself swimming and breathing underwater (as I have always done in such scenarios) inside an unfamiliar house of which is mostly empty of furniture.

There is a clear memory of an unknown man having told me about an experience with a shark. His son had been playing with a shark and also had fishing line wrapped around him that was also wrapped around the shark. There is a vague puzzlement as to why anyone would play with a shark (perhaps they were both naïve), but there is nothing said about the boy or his father being in any danger. The man described how he had gotten his son back, but had not been able to get him back solely from pulling on the fishing line, which seemed to puzzle him.

I eventually notice a shark remaining in one position above me, close to a wall and near the ceiling. There is a long length of fishing line trailing out from its mouth, curving through the water in at least one figure eight pattern, some of the line through its gills and some over the dorsal fin. The other end of the fishing line ends near where I am floating near the center of the room. I do not feel endangered in any way.

I consider pulling on the fishing line to see what happens, but I decide not to and swim around for awhile, exploring the mostly empty house. There is a peaceful feeling despite a shark being present, though it never moves from its original position.

---

Autosymbolism explained:

Being underwater: Instinctual awareness of being asleep. (Being able to breathe underwater is proof that I have subliminal awareness that I am dreaming.)

Shark: Instinctual in-dream awareness of RAS (reticular activating system) and its waking process function.

Not pulling on the fishing line: Liminal dream control (dream control without lucidity) based on lifelong understanding of dream state autosymbolism. (If I had pulled on the fishing line, it might have initiated RAS.)

The memory of the story: I was wondering if my youngest son was sleeping well in his room before I went to bed. This carried over into a projected backstory in this dream.

---

Lucid dreaming (being consciously aware of being in the dream state) and control of a dream by way of dream self modulation over RAS are unrelated despite the myth of lucidity being related to dream control still being widely propagated.

This dream is obviously modulated by my dream self (by way of the virtuous circle effect in having a deep understanding of my dreams for over fifty years), yet I am not lucid. I use the term “liminal” in a different way than some other writers. Technically, there is a subtle difference between subliminal and liminal regarding the dream self’s perception, but when I write “liminal dream control” I am describing full control of a dream without any awareness that I am dreaming or even recalling what a dream is. This is a specific type of synaptic OR gating.

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1052
Closing the computer at 8:07 P M.

----------------------------------------------

I think I woke up at first after only 1 hour or so of sleep, but went back to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

Had some dreams after a few more hours of sleep. Round one of dreams was RBFA. However I remember that I was outside the local food store. A D, from high school track, was there. Something about going for a walk together. And exchanging contact information. I remember a phone out. FSH. At the end of the dream I remember a big pizza being taken out and cut.

-----------------------------------------------

Round two of dreams was easier to remember and I didn't RBFA.

First there were some parts I forgot. I do remember some kind of football game thing. And I remember R S, R M and other people from high school football. I saw them in the hall. I think I started to say, "I was just dreaming about you guys!" but without knowing this one was a dream.

I remember going over towards the high school side and seeing J R, P S and N G, maybe others. Something I forgot with P S. But I remember N G needed some help. Help getting food from the store and some other stuff. So I wanted to help him. FSH. Then there was some stuff with being in a house with a desk, by a window. G A said he wanted to help N G. I remember trying to pack some peanuts in a tupperware in a back pack. I wasn't sure if he wanted them wrinsed. I decided to leave them dry but second-guessed the amount I put in the tupperware, and went to add more.

I remember a computer screen with mathematics. There were various functions with the letters r, s, v, s, w, q, x, and others. Some times it showed the letters upside down. There were vector symbols and intergal symbols through the letters. Like a lowercase r with an integral symbol through it. There were equations with more upside down letters. I wondered what it meant.

I remember laying in bed, in the dream though, and being unable to sleep. But it was a dream.

So I dreamed that I had a night of insomnia. Then I dreamed that I had got up early to food shop for N G before school, I think. I was at the local food store again. I remember being inside but not clearly. When I got outside I was thinking of having sweet potato as my starch, instead of rice, because it would be quicker. There were these big garage doors that went around the parking lot but they were open. I thought of the air mixing with the outside air and how it would affect the temperatures. There were some white thumb tacks propping up some of the wooden boards. I thought of closing the garage doors, but didn't.

A C, L C's brother from S W T, was there. He had a sledge hammer and stood in front of a big block of pavement, getting ready to smash it to pieces with the hammer. It was some kind of contest. I saw him before he started and gave a heads-up about using proper form. He said thanks and that he would be careful, I think.

I walked on a little more and saw another guy doing shot put. He was warming up his right arm and his left. On his second warm-up for his left arm, the ball bounced back and hit him. (There were these goal post things that it could bounce off of like a lacrosse bounce back net.) This disqualified him! When it showed the seating, it showed that his team had so many people already, that it was more likely to disqualify someone sooner. I remember an old woman in the seats as well as many others. The guy was really sad because he had prepared for the contest.

I remember a part where I actually began to cry. I forgot exactly why, but part of it was feeling sad for the guy who got disqualified over something so forgivable. Then I remember hearing the people say to someone, that there was plenty of stuff to draw every day. To try to see the beauty in every day life and find something to draw. And then it showed an example of something to draw. Some kind of animal thing, I think.

Then the people on another team only had 2 people, and one open seat. One of the guys offered to get the D Q'ed guy a spot on their team. They would just have to say that someone on their team had been deceased, which explained the open seat. So that was a relief.

I remember a big battle with Megatron and Optimal Optimus. It was pretty cool. They locked hands and fought. I don't remember the whole thing, though.

At some point, there was a self help author talking about his theory of going out and doing something about self help. He used the word S T U P I D which always triggers me. It kind of triggered me in the dream, too, and I was offended by the use of this word. I think that was earlier, in the food store part.

At first I just made some short-hand voice notes so that I could go back to sleep. But it turned out I wasn't able to sleep. So now I will stay up until I feel sleepy again.

----------------------------------------------

Yeah, I laid back down, then couldn't sleep. Got up and it was like 5 A M. I felt myself not being tired or not being able to sleep. So, that was that. Hopefully I sleep better the next night.

I had a dream that my old cat was alive, and for some reason, we had to give her to my uncle's ex wife because we couldn't keep her. The ex wife and her daughter cut off the cat's ears because they thought she was too pretty and someone would try to steal her (the cat was a very pretty cat).