non-lucid

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I have waken up the past two nights with the mantra I am going to wake up after each dream and remember it, all according to StaySharp's post, "The Dream Recall Compendium". I have waken up at different times of the night all from 23:40 to 04:50. But the cool thing is that I think I have found my natural awakening time. All these three nights I have waken up 16:15 +-5 minutes and can't resleep! It's pretty amazing. I also think that my awareness in dreams get better when I wake up after each dream because now I have had two lucid dreams in two nights.

Bamse appears and there is some fight between him and someone else. Lille Skutt throws a Dunderhonung to him and Bamse gets really strong and punches the evil person way up to the skies.

I am home and dad has a mini submarine with a laser pointing forward. My mind enters some kind of a TV-screen and I watch some kind of movie about solving the pussel with this submarine and the laser. I am back in my home and Klaus is also there. He takes a look at the submarine, looking at it from different angels and says that he loves things like this. The next dream is strongly tied with this one.

Maria, my chemistry teacher, shows up and tells us to solve the pussle from the last dream. There are many videos and they are mostly underwater videos. My PE teacher Per comes and we are to go canoeing. I am in the back of the canoe but I fall over all the time. I blame the other ones for being bad in my mind because I don't do that usually. Our canoe is really long and all my class of 12 people fits. There is a huge boat in the sea and the goal is that we paddle to it. I fall into the water and decides to swim after the boat, pushing it forward instead. My PE teacher shouts out "That's another way you can do it on!" and laughs. We come up and Tasnim and Wencai talk about how this school thing is worth doing because they save much time by doing it. I am confused and gets really tired. I start to snore but I'm not sure if it was in the dream or if I was half sleeping in my bed because I wake up afterward.

I'm outside school and I realize it's a dream. I look around and see all these people from church, some missionaries and more. I'm not sure if it's a dream anymore so I pinch my nose and try to breath, it works. Cool, I fly to the trees and there is a very big eagle in a tree in its nest. The eagle has big black coat looking wings that stretch out. That freaks me out a little but I keep on going. As I walk I stabilize the dream by touching the trees and my face. When I touch my face its a little bit like cold sandpaper and I get even more aware that its a dream. I enter my school and there are loads of people there. I walk to the left and the school is not actually like my real school. There is a desk and two old teachers I recognize. I say hi. I go into my swedish teacher's room and hit her with a big vase, expecting her to fall down and the vase to break. None of that happens and she grabs me and carry me out. I remembered that I read that you shoudn't hit your dream characters because they are a part of you. I realize I have messed up and I should've apoligize I think now. I keep on going outside. I meet with another girl in my age and we interact.

Possible recurring elements: My home, school, classmates, waters

Notes: I dreamt about Bamse because I thought of him yesterday. The submarine is probably because I live by the coast and it's kind of natural for me. Maria is the teacher most common in my dreams. It's cool how I realized it was a dream, I'm amazed by myself! Good job myself. I love birds and the eagle was a sign of my bird side. I forgot to do my goals in the LD but it was still fun.

I have died for some reason... because of something like over stressing. I tried to return to my dead body, but it was impossible. The body was brought to my house. I was there and waited what would happen. Nobody could register me.
Then two priests came. It looked as if they felt my vicinity(they got nervous), even if they didn't see me. So I tried to touch them. They felt it and it looked like they feared the touch. One of them took holy water and started to follow me and tried to sprinkle the water into place I was present. At first I evaded the water... but then I told myself... what the heck, let them sprinkle me and lets see what it will do. It did nothing. I didn't feel it.
After some time there was pulling feeling and my spirit was pulled and squeezed like through funel back in time... and I found myself in the bed. I followed the advice and was calm (I didn't stress myself like in first time). In the point of time when I had to die, I felt like I'm going to be separated from the body, but it didn't happen at the end.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

This is amazing. I have had some LDs in the past but I just became aware that I was dreaming, I have never asked myself the question "is this a dream?" (as I can remember). Yesterday I did RCs like 20 times and it apparently worked! I mostly pinched my nose.

I am in the TV room. I inspect a painting on the wall. I pinch my nose out of reflex since yesterday and I can breath even tough I shouldn't be able to. It's a dream!! I am really happy and continue to look at the painting a little bit more. I am amazed by the quality and all the details of this dream and start to go outside. I have just stepped out and wonder if I should stabilize the dream but since it is a DILD and because of the quality of the dream I think that it is already stabilized. Suddenly my left eye is closed and I try to reopen it, but I can't. I am really struggling, it is almost like I got a fit. My right eye is also closing and I wake up... Guess I should always stabilize the dream when I become lucid?

I am in some strangers home downstairs, my family and Klaus are also there. My parents seem to know the people whose house we are in. There is a TV-screen on the floor and the other family asks us if we want to play a video game on the TV with them. My brother suddenly becomes this small, sticky ball. As big as an eraser. He jumps into the TV and possesses it. He tries to hurt us but we stop him. He suddenly jumps out of the TV and bounces into the kitchen. We follow. He possesses some kitchen tools and throws them at us. He then possesses a big box of knives. A person jumps over the box as to stop the knives from being thrown at us. The knives are being thrown anyway. They all target me and there are some close calls. But as more knives are thrown, the remaining knives start to lose more and more of their edges. The knives disappear and in comes Klaus with a big plastic bucket with boiling water. He drops the water over the possessed box and my little brother dies. Firstly I become enraged and my anger is pointed at my smaller brother. I walk out on the doorsteps and after a while I become really sad and get a feeling of hopelessness because my brother is now dead.

I chew and I am irritated because i chew so badly. I chew from side to side instead of up and down. I am thinking about my sister and how she doesn't like it when I chew aloud. That's about everything I remember

Possible recurring elements: My home, Family, Hopelessness

Notes: I dreamt about the family asking us if we wanted to play video games because we played some TV-games at my cousins yesterday. My brother tried to kill me in the dream because I and he had a bad day yesterday. We had some word fights and I would like to believe that this dream is a sign how destructive those little fights are. I am going to keep this dream in mind next time I think about saying something mean to him. I will rather say something nice. The hopeless feeling i got when I realized my brother was dead is much like in the past DJ episode yesterday when I escaped my family.

Fell asleep at: 5:00 AM

Woke up at: 2:00 PM


Dream 114: A Totally Unassuming Cult

I seem to be a spectator to the dream. I am able to feel and move my dream body while the whole of my field of view is dominated by the dream.

The dream starts out in medias res; A twenty-year- old or so girl is seeking admission into a vaguely Christian cult, and is being interviewed by two recruiters, one an old man, and one around her age. At some point, she catches onto the fact that the people running the operation are a bunch of nutjobs and that their adherents are similarly sinister. She starts to back away from the conversation, but as she does so, two kids in a little play area start pointing and yelling at her. They say something along the lines of "Witch!" and "Heretic!"

She backs away even further, and bumps up against a waist-high bookshelf. At this point, the recruiters make no compunctions about harming her.

I (As the spectator) notice a ceramic globe on top of one of the bookshelves. I yell at the girl, "The atlas! Throw the atlas at them!" I mistakenly called the globe an "atlas!" She then chucks the globe at the old guy and he goes down like a ton of bricks. Now it's just her and the younger man. They stare down each other fiercely, and I am on the edge of my seat.

This goes on for a minute, and I got bored. I draw my attention away from the dream for a second, and then...

A newspaper clipping shows up, talking about how this same girl somehow joined the psycho cult anyway. I am flabbergasted, and I yell at the dream some more.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

Yesterday I read StaySharp's post, "The Dream Recall Compendium", and decided to try to wake up naturally after each dream with the mantra "I wake up after each dream and remember it". I am amazed by my brain and how it works because this mantra made me wake up two times tonight. I usually never remember that I wake up in the night. I went asleep 22:00 yesterday and already 23:40 I wake up with a full dream I remember! I also used his technique, "tag-book", in order to write down a key piece of the dream when I wake up so that I can remember it in the morning. I wake up 06:15 naturally which is amazing for me.

I am in an ice landscape. I have a companion. We are being bombed at. The ice melts by the bombs and we sunk into the water . We are being driven by the strong stream next to an island. My companion is emotional and talks about how he doesn't want to die. I don't remember more.

Me and my family attend a celebration party in a big black castle. I don't remember the party that much but later on I become a vampire and don't do much with the power I am given. I walk up the stairs and apparently a friend of mine, Rebecca, is killed by a vampire in a room higher up in the castle. Everyone is shocked. I walk down and meet up with my family. I say to my mother that I am a vampire and she gives me the blame for the murder. I say it wasn't me and I am seriously sad that she doesn't believe me. As we walk out of the castle a suspicious man in a black coat and vampire looking face walks by over the street and I blame him aloud, almost screaming that he killed Rebecca, he just keeps on walking with a mysterious smile. My mother doesn't believe me and as she do I run away very upset. I see a motorbike and I ride it, trying to escape my family. There are two children biking by a small grass field by Klockstapeln. I motorbike around them and almost hit one of them. I keep on biking down the steep slope by Hemköp but I suddenly ride a normal bicycle. The slope gives me an enormous amount of speed and I drive past the cars in front of me. I become aware that I would probably die if I crash so I start to break by putting my feet hard to the ground. I do a weird turn that would not work IRL down to my street. I am trying to escape my family but for some reason I bike home. I see my house and I decide to keep on biking to the water. I ride the bike without effort and come to the waters. I realize that it is school tomorrow and that I can't escape forever.

Possible recurring elements: War, ice, parties, escape, blame, fast rides/motorbikes.

Notes: I had a dream some months ago that had a landscape like in the ice dream. I also fell into the water in that dream. The party in the castle was for a very long time but I don't recall much. The feeling when my mom didn't believe me was really heartbreaking. She is always supportive and wouldn't do that in normal cases. Some weeks ago I had a dream where it was a police hunt after me. I rode a motorbike really fast, much like in this dream. Maybe the motorbike is a symbol of escape because in both dreams I escaped something with the motorbike. The bike ride felt like an eternity and the feeling of hopelessness was strong. I read some time ago that the emotion centrum in the brain is not restrained during sleep and that feeling of hopelessness I felt is a personal proof of that. Hopefully I can use those strong dream feelings to be happy in another dream.

I was across the street from my apartment at a bike shop, was going in and out of the store.

Woke up extremely tired, laid flat on my back and could feel myself going back into a dream state. My body got very stiff and it felt like I was high all over my body, the lower left part of my back started to cramp up a little bit. My body was floating upwards, it was very difficult to breath but I was breathing out of my mouth. I kept thinking I was going to be dreaming and I flew into a dream. The dream scene was over a lake with trees lining both sides and a city in the distance, the main colors were purple and orange, it felt like it was dusk. Everything was very vivid as I was flying over the lake but my vision started spinning, it would spin quickly to one side and then shift directions to the next. I tried to get a hold of the dream by clasping my hands together and rubbing them but the dream collapsed. It reopened into a zany cartoon view, the colors were mainly bright yellow and red, there was a cartoon character walking exaggerated across my view.

Jamie dreams

First one is I get a long email or message from jamie.

Second dream is we are together overlooking a city on a porch. She is dressed fancy. I am holding her from behind. the feelings seem good.

Mall

Dream of going to a mall or something with my family. We go to a strange food court. One of the restaurants is vegetarian but you get fed based on your astrological sign. Doesn't interest me so i wind up in a chocolate shop or something. I'm craving hamburgers and stuff like that so I leave. I find no other restaurant. I walk with my family down an escalator and I wake up then.
[B]
dead pet[/B

I had a very strange dog like pet... but it was small. It was trying to sleep on my bed. but I didn't want it there. So it tried to sleep on my electric piano. The one end of the piano fell off the stand. and the pet fell down and hit something on it's snout. it was bleeding. I didn't know what to do.

Good lord, HOW did I not go without posting for upwards of two years? Well, stuff happened, is all I'm going to say. So let's get into this.

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up: 12:15 PM


Dream 113: Old Faces

Daytime; My house. The in-laws have come over, and they brought their dogs with them. A dachshund, a terrier mix, and some others I can't remember. One of the dogs, wearing a grey shirt and orange/yellow suspenders walks into my room and jumps on top of me in my bed. I play with the little guy for a while, and one of the in-laws chimes and in says that that's actually the father of all these other dogs.

I say something along the lines of, "Well, he can do whoever he wants then--" then retract that statement and I say "That came out wrong."

As I'm playing with the dog, a female DC keeps tugging at his shirt collar, for whatever reason. The dog looks mighty uncomfortable when she does that, so I tell her to stop tugging at it. The dream ends not long after.

Upon further reflection, the dog in my dream looked remarkably like another dog I had, though that one passed away not two years ago. It was nice to play with the little fella again, even if it was just a dream.

Created Monday 11 May 2020

Finally got around to doing a proper WBTB. And some results to show for it. Too bad there's a bunch of non-LD content missing...

Scrap Group 1
Repeated dreams with similar themes. Each time, I wanted some specific thing, then didn't moments later.

Dream 1 - Deadbrush Forage

Various forgotten events before this point. The visuals were slightly blurred. I was in field of very tall grass and wild overgrowth, a cloudy brown twilight sky above. Although abundant, the plantlife was terribly dehydrated, and in many cases, long dead.

After a minute of looking around, I (somehow) got aware. I tried summoning and eating a Marloss Berry, either by imagining it, or by reaching behind me, both to no effect. So, I moved on to a TOTM, the foraging one coming to mind. I sorted through the grass, but I hardly found anything, just chaff. Next, I picked some flowers, daisies, I think. Wasn't sure whether their heads and stems were edible. So, I pulled the roots in hopes of finding a starchy vegetable. A few did indeed seem to have some growths on them. Eventually, I dug out what seemed a lumpy, violet potato. It was quite large, just a few inches bigger than my outstretched hand. Well, that works for me.

I then looked towards thickets, when I noticed a large, bright purple, radish-shaped fruit growing on a branch. It looked shriveled, but probably still edible. I picked that as well.

Seemed like a good enough forage for the moment. On to sampling. But before that, there was the matter of cleaning; both products were plainly dirty. I didn't have any water in hand, let alone finding clean water in dried brushland. Nothing a Prestidigitation spell couldn't fix. With a gesture, the food was instantly rid of dirt.

Finally, chow time. I bit into the wrinkled fruit. It tasted much more bitter than expected. It retained a hint of flowery fragrance, but that really didn't improve the flavor. I was about to take another bite, but noticing a bug crawling out of a small hole made me think otherwise.

I was gonna eat the potato, but the dream collapsed too soon for me to do such.

Scrap Group 2
Unconscious transition during a Dreamwalking WILD attempt. I was in an unlit apartment building. Ruined constructions and furnishings made it apparent this place was abandoned. To the left was a stairway made from tiles. I starting climbing up, during which I noticed it had a very familiar arrangement. It then occurred to me this followed the same exact path I take during Dreamwalking, triggering awareness. But soon, something distracted me, something I thought dangerous. I ran back downstairs, only to forget why I got there, and climbed back up. Repeat again of temporary awareness, climbing up, evading a hazard, running downstairs, then loop. There were other things I did during brief moments of lucidity, but I can't recall.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm walking the street to my home. I see someone next to me and I have an idéa who it is but I don't want to look because I think that would be awkward. He then says hi and I se that it is Gabriel. My old school friend who I havn't seen in a long time. He is friendly with me but doesn't talk much. I said congratulations to his mom and elder sister because I thought it was their birthdays, he says thanks. I don't know if the next dream is the same as this one, but it's further ahead on the same street.

I see my old schoolmate Leoa from the same class as Gabriel. I greet her and find her very attractive. She isn't that attractive IRL, she got some dream modifications on her face. I follow her and we talk a lot. She opens an old tree gate and I stop by the gate but climb it in order to see her and talk a little bit more. I wish I remember the conversation, it was one of the really nice feeling moments.

I'm in a place where all my old schoolmates are, it's some kind of party. I remember Olof and some random dude making out. I go to the calmer side of the house and talk with Dina and Justine. Dina makes a joke about the table but I don't understand and think she talks about the chair. I sit on the chair trying to get what the joke is about, suddenly there are big paper towel papers that's coming from all the edges of the table and I laugh to Dinas joke because now I got it.

I walked to a house and I got into an empty room. I know that I'm chased but I don't hide, just sit. The door opens and out comes a gun. It shoots me but I'm not dead. The man with the gun walks in and I think we aren't enemies after a while. I think I did some parkour outside of the house.

Possible recurring elements: Being hunted, old schoolmates, walking the streets outside my house. Pretty calm parties.

Notes: I have been hunted three nights in a row now and it's a pretty scary theme. When I walked the streets this night it was like the street feeling in my last dream when I walked to my old friend. It's funny how in my last night's dream and in this one I have encountered three different old school friends on streets outside my house. Two of them were my best friends and the girl was pretty random.

I'm in a battlefield from middle-ages but i'm the only one at my side and there are too many on the other side. Lots of trebuchets and ditches with spikes everywhere. It's midday, warm, and i'm fighting with my spear in this desert-like enviroment. I feel like i've been fighting in this war forever and want it to end. Lots of people dies in my hands and i want it to stop. "The only way to end this is to kill the head of the beast" i say and move towards a big tent. There is this strong looking female warrior and i feel like she knows who i am. She says "I was expecting you. We've changed worlds, bodies, ourselves but we've been fighting since the beginning of the time and i feel like we have to stop doing this".

At this moment i feel like running away but at the same time i feel like she's ineviteble for me and i have no choice. She starts walking towards me and a part of me wants us to unite or something both physical and mental. Like we were one and now we have to be one again but this thought is too scary for me for some reason. I just want to get away and i start running towards the ditches around the tent (yeah with the spikes in them). I kill myself.

Felt very bad when i woke up. Recorded the dream to my phone by voice recorder. Only had the courage to listen to it now (4 days later)

In the earliest part of the dream I can remember well, I’m with a group of people from work. We’re in a house rather than an office, a mostly empty one that’s not in the best condition and which strikes me as reminiscent of somewhere in the past (it's not a vague memory in the dream – rather, my waking self can’t pin it down to anywhere familiar). There’s something in the way everything is happening that suggests we’re maintaining order in the midst of a chaotic situation and extemporizing as necessary. Some disaster has struck the world – although it seems less like this is the aftermath than that it was so bad that what remained of humanity actually had to flee to some sort of parallel dimension.

Kate, the director, tells us we should all go outside to see something. Stepping out of the house, I can see what looks like a large town square across the street, round-ish in shape, possibly cobbled. Above the old-fashioned buildings on the opposite side, the sky is turning pink and purple in a certain area. In the middle of it, a black spot appears, clearly visible against the light. I recognize it, as does everybody there: this was what happened before, the thing that came and destroyed the world.

But something is different this time: instead of appearing large and far away, the spot now seems to be quite close, in the square itself. Somehow, I know that I can make things turn out differently this time around. I run towards it, the others not far behind.

The dark sphere is floating there, too high to jump for but close to a flagpole on the far side. I scale it. The flag, which is dark blue, isn’t flying – rather, it seems to be tied to the pole, and (on later reflection) entirely too large for it. The thing actually looks more like a mast than a flagpole. But I manage to make it up with no trouble until I'm level with the sphere. It’s very small now, smaller than a cotton ball. I reach out and grab it, enclosing it in my hand.

The moment I touch it, it changes, becoming material, taking on a definite shape. It has become a key on a keyring.

I know what to do now: the keyhole can’t be too far away. I actually find it on the way back down, on the base of the pole. I put it in and turn, and keep turning. And as I do, something is happening to the building closest to the pole: the whole façade is unfolding, revealing a large airplane inside. It looks like a typical jet, but in the dream, it strikes me like something out of another era, concealed here for who knows how long.

A dirty, light brown liquid is pooled near the nose. An inner voice that seems to belong to the plane itself tells me that it needs an oil change. I think that it probably needs rather more than that, considering how long it’s been here. But I’m aware that this situation is out of my hands now. It will be others who fix it up and who make use of it somehow to avert disaster. I’ve done what I can.

10.5.20

Morning of May 10, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,501-03. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



My dream self lacks any waking-life references (and as usual, there is no recall of the present state of the world), though I become interested in a couple of big books with ambiguous content in an unknown but mostly undefined setting. I treat them as mine.

The first section of the books seems to feature summaries of dream content, the second, various comic strips (“Blondie” being the one I focus on more), and the third seeming like the Yellow Pages of a phone book. I read a “Blondie” comic strip at the top of a left-hand page, atypically of only two panels, the second panel featuring a winter scene in a city. There is a scene that briefly seems to be in a “real” setting when I am looking at the front of the residence where Dagwood and Blondie live. I consider meeting Dagwood and going to parts of his house that no one (including the Bumsteads) had ever seen. (In a previous dream, I was at a party with Dagwood, his boss Mr. Dithers, and Blondie, and they appeared mainly as in the comic strip.)

Imaginary somatosensory cortex dynamics initiate but link to a static form of the vestibular cortex model (in contrast to “Fun with Rockets and Alien Spaceships” from May 1) and no dynamic foundation of myoclonus (waking start or falling trigger).

As a result, I find myself with an old Greek coin, the one that features the Owl of Athena (a flight reference for my dream’s waking transition as always occurs with this mode of dreaming). (One of the last static versions of this process was a sketchy drawing of a crow appearing in a mirror in “Sophie the Ghost” from May 3.) Even so, the coin is about three times bigger than an American quarter and possibly hollow.

Although the coin is too big to be real, I briefly consider it genuine and valuable. I plan to show it to this dream’s unseen sleep-wake manager (an unknown male), but before I reach him, I see “Athens” to the lower right of the owl relief in uppercase. I read it clearly, and it does not change over time. I consider the coin cannot be genuine because of “Athens” being in English. I wake upon realizing this.

---

This dream stems from childhood dreaming practices in which I tried to hold onto a summoned coin to awake with it (and of course, it never worked, although I sometimes woke while pinching my pillowcase). The process (and its absentminded expectation by way of the virtuous circle effect of dreaming practices) has occurred in thousands of my dreams, sometimes with a static link to myoclonus associations as here.

---

I will include another example from 2017 when I sat at a table with Les Gold (of “Hardcore Pawn”), and we were discussing a fictitious 1970 limited edition American quarter that featured the outline of Jonathan Livingston Seagull. We talked of how the coin was unpopular, with similar notoriety as the American Susan B. Anthony Dollar.

---

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

First I dreamt about a dark cellar. Me and my wizard friend each have a wand. We walk the place and suddenly encounter Voldemort. He and I have a magic battle, we are pointing our wands against each other and there is a silver color sinuscurve coming out from both wands and a purple (I think) beam where our sinuscurve magic meet. The beam wasn't intense like in the movies but very soft and gentle. I lose and run away downstairs. When I lost my wand broke, it just cracked in the front. I keep on walking with my friend through the cellar, we walk down and suddenly a big green monster appears. It goes on a rampage and starts to attack us. I no longer have a wand but I suddenly have a very long stick in my hand. I use it to hit the monster's stomach and after some effort it got many holes in its stomach. The stick is almost broken and got many cracks in it. My wizard friend with a wand didn't do anything, not during the Voldemort fight or during the monster fight, just being useless. The monster drops green liquid from its stomach and it turns out that the liquid is corrosive because the monster slips in the green liquid and dissolves. The eyes are the only things that do not dissapear. The dream ends.

I wake up because of my WILD-alarm 04:30 (I went to sleep 23:20), I drink some water and go back to bed in order to lay just still. This is my seventh attempt to wild and this time felt better than those before, just because I was able to relax so easily. Last time I tried WILD I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night so I tried not to focus so hard to stay awake this time. Therefore I just went back to sleep pretty fast. But I feel like everytime I try WILD I come a step closer to a successful attempt.

I'm in a room with a wolf, it's pretty big. It's not friendly, it's pregnant. I think we had some conversation but I'm not sure. Suddenly a big squad with guns comes in and shoot the wolf. Suddenly it's much bigger than before. The wolf is dying and I approach it. The wolf apparently digged out her stomach with her babies in it and asks me to take care of her babies. I say that I can. I see the babies and they are nothing like wolf babies, they are more like black slugs with weird elephant trunks. I don't remember more but the next dream is strongly tied to the feeling of this one and may be the same dream.

I'm in the jungle, I'm being hunted. There is a black Jeep next to me. I know the hunters are approaching but I don't know from where. I decide to hide in the tall grass to my right. The ones hunting me come and I lay still in the grass. I don't remember more. Next dream is more everyday like.

I'm walking a street outside my house. I don't remember any people walking on the streets. Suddenly I come to my friends door who live next to me. If the curtains are not down you are able look into his room if you jump. I try to look into his room and I see him sitting by his computer. I knock on the window and as I do, there is a slam in the middle of the house. I am scared that I might have woken his parents because IRL sometimes my friend tells me to send a message to him instead of knocking because his parents are sleeping. He opens the door and we greet each other without any physical contact, but we usually do have a handshake. Suddenly my dad comes and I'm shocked. He says he could come because something about his running shoes. I Just accepts his random explanation. The door to my friend's house is closed and I open it, afterwards I try to do a handshake with my friend (It's a weird order to do things. I would absolutely handshake him first and let him open the door IRL). He doesn't have any emotions and doesn't care about my outstretched arm. I feel ignored and it's not pleasant. I don't remember more.

I laid in my bed half counscious the last hour of my sleep from about 08:00-09:00 and saw many pictures I can't recall. First time that has happened and I am positive!

Possible recurring elements: Being hunted and hiding. Fighting. Parenthood.

Notes: I dreamt the wizard dream because my siblings had a Harry Potter discussion in the back of the car while I was driving yesterday (it got pretty intense). Voldemort was present because my brother said that Voldemort is the protagonist of Slitherin, not Malfoy, and I disagreed in my mind. I'm very sure the monster in the wizard dream came from an anime I saw a time ago, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. The big green round monster who spit glue like saliva against people, but it didn't spit in my dream. The fighting scene with the monster was in third person I'm pretty sure about.

The wolf dream is very interesting because it has elements that is dear to me. I would like to interpret it like this. The wolf is me, I often think that the world is a nasty place and that people are naturally bad. I sometimes go to attack and criticize the world we live in, how my country handles things, how school could be much better but it's built badly and how money rules the world. The wolf is not friendly and that is me, it has a negative attitude against the soldiers. The soldiers who shoot me is school and other things I find destructive. School has made me depressed sometimes and the soldiers could be shooting destructive "depression" bullets against me. The wolf was dying and wanted me to take care of her children. I love children and have always wanted to have children myself. But I am afraid about this world and I am not sure if I have the right to give birth to someone into this world. I know that my children may commit suicide or be depressed. My wish to have babies but fear of them becoming sad and hurt is the wolf's babies. They may become like the wolf's misformed babies. And I may not be the best father, I may not be there for my children like the wolf who left her babies.

I haven't spent time with my friend in the last dream in a long time and I thought about inviting him and his smaller brother to shoot with me (we have just bought an air gun) two days ago. He was like an empty shell in the dream and I'm not sure what that means. Maybe it's because I haven't seen him in a long time and that our friendship may perish if I don't talk with him soon. My dad talked about shoes and jogging in the dream because he told me to get better jogging shoes three days ago.

Wow, I have never made a deep analysis like this before. The dream about the wolf may just be analysed a bit too much but it's more fun if I were to interpret it correctly so I have decided to believe in my analysis.

The last nights I have dreamt about being chased and trying to hide. I'm not sure what those are about but I'm going to look for more of this theme in future dreams.

Morning of May 9, 2020. Saturday. Dream #: 19,500-03. Reading time: 1 min 50 sec.

This dream occurred near the middle of my sleep cycle in a deeper state. I was surprised to find an article yesterday that claimed researchers have found what I had already known for over fifty years. It is that dream content tends to correlate with the depth of sleep (for example, less conflict in a deeper sleep and more social impositions in lighter sleep, the way my dreams have worked every sleep cycle, and the fundamental foundation for the waking transition and reticular activating system dynamics).

In this dream, there is no recall of my current waking life or the world’s status. I am in Alan Brady’s office, as on “The Dick Van Dyke Show” (that I have not seen or thought about for some time). The only characters from the television show in my dream are Jerry and Millie Helper.

I look in boxes on Alan Brady’s desk when I am not supposed to be here. It is a typical sorting dream, where I keep finding many different features over a long period. There are several packages and a manilla envelope as well as books (some science-fiction). There are several checks, but I do not think I could cash them, though I briefly consider it.

I find a small worn cardboard box with a piccolo used in a movie Alan Brady (Carl Reiner) starred. It has leaf motifs amateurishly painted on it (with thick paint) in various colors. The lip plate with the appearance of the Nutcracker soldier is missing. I first feel it (somatosensory phasing). (The situation is false memory from the “I Am a Fine Musician” act on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Mary Tyler Moore played the imaginary piccolo, and the four actors dressed as the Nutcracker soldier.)

There is a surveillance camera in Alan’s office in a corner near the ceiling. I move stuff around on his desk, but I sit on the floor out of its range at other times. When I put stacks of materials back into the largest box, I consider it is not the original way they were stored, but I am unconcerned.

I think of telling Millie Helper about the piccolo, but I do not. Still, Jerry and Millie do not seem to think I am doing anything wrong and remain cheerful. Looking at the carpet, I see a multi-colored splash of ink or paint in the form of a mandala. Although I am unsure whether I had caused the carpet’s changes, I start instinctually enhancing the somatosensory illusion. As I move my hand, I pull long strands of yellow yarn from the carpet, noticing narrow gaps revealing the floor. It is my usual liminality modulation, though horizontal instead of vertical, stemming from my sleeping position (my head being more downward).

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