Non-Lucid Dreams
A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway. Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories. Dream: Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly. This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door. I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too. Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something. Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began. Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already. Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt. Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it. Notes: - When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens. - I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold. - The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like. - In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point. - Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems. - More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too. - The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.
Updated 04-01-2020 at 12:50 PM by 95293
Dreams for the mornings of 26th, 27th and 31st of March. 26th and 27th enclosed in spoiler to reduce general length of the DJ entry. The last few days I have had decent dream recall from morning awakenings but I have felt too tired to make initial notes for them (28th,29th,30th). Sleep has been unusual for this past week, keep getting up too late despite several normal awakening times but might be starting to improve again. 26th: Spoiler for 26th content: Dream Fragment: One of the earliest dreams I remember, it was quite a vivid dream but I didn't make note of it until a later awakening so details were lost. Basically a giant/anthropomorphic sex scene of some sort? (Self-memo; see original note for a few more details) Dream: On a planet covered in cities but also wide ravines with lava at the bottom. The buildings weren't very tall (no more than twenty stories each) and some were on the edges of these lava ravines. I remember grappling between the buildings at high speed with some Oort grapples? It was like a game and another player saw me and followed me along with their own grapples, which annoyed me initially. From the building tops I could see a sunset to the right and a coastal area. Opposite to that, on the left, was more city but in smaller density and no lava ravines; it was also progressively darker/duskier the more I saw toward the left. I headed in that general direction with the grapples. Transition of some kind possibly. A mix of McGee and a high school friend. He was flying with a jet pack and I was flying with a massive and single jet engine that I had strapped on my back or something. But it was too heavy so I kept touching the ground instead of simply flying up/forward, which made the momentum sort of reset. We were flying or racing along some roads, there were trees either side of the roads and the trees made a sort of canopy over the road. I remember moonlight coming through the leaves. 27th: Spoiler for 27th content: Poor recall, woke up unable to focus. There were other dreams from 7AM onwards but I didn't recall enough details to go into any of them as I made my initial notes. Dream: This was the last dream, which took place in a town. It was a bit busy and I was with someone, possibly H. We'd just been at a detached/semi-detached house? and we were going to cross the street. I remember it was day time but possibly near the end of the day. A purple van driven by a woman was backing up and parking on the driveway to the right of the one from the house we'd just left. Her van was supposed to have some vynil stickers on the side (auto-intuitive dream knowledge) but for some reason it had an error message of some kind, which in the dream I briefly realised wasn't supposed to be the case. The street was quite wide, like six lanes wide, three going either way. The road was on a slope and the incline increased quickly after a certain point going down, around where it also cornered. We watched for traffic and crossed the street, then walking up the street on the other side. This side had no driveways whatsoever; it instead had a tall building, of which I only remember the wall, with no windows (understood it to be the side of the building). The wall was cream coloured, typical of my native area. At the top of the road, where it met a perpendicular road, forming a T junction, it looked extremely complicated and traffic along the perpendicular street was very busy. I remember we crossed to a little pavement island in the middle of the junction. For whatever reason, some people I knew from early years of school (8-10 years of age?) were there. I spoke to one of them about electrical power and I suggested putting a generator here. Then an interface overlay appeared and I could see "slots" on the pavement islands that could have had houses built there, so that was why I was suggesting the generator, instead of the houses apparently. In the interface I got the feel that the generator would be placed underground, beneath the road, should it come into existence. The dream ended soon after. 31st: I had some sort of pre-sleep half-dream. I was starting to "paint" with just my mind (telekinetically) and was having ideas for a new painting and what I might paint next in my art room. Dream: I was in Sweden. I was with one or both of my Swedish friends and we were in their metro system. The stations were tall and spacious, but what really caught my attention was the shapes of the architectural structure. A lot of long and abstract shapes (just the kind of thing I'd like to build with concrete) and all of the stations we went through were mostly concrete, which I think my friends disliked. I think I liked it despite the lack of colour just because of the shapes. The stations were very well lit and quite busy. I remember we went through one station on the train and there were small island platforms with crossings between them that went down on the rail level, which seemed to imply a high degree of self-responsibility from people. Another part of the dream or a different dream, I was trying to get to or from university? Dream Fragment: Something like the cities game I've played recently, but mixed with actually travelling through the city. I was trying to manage some sort of power dams, three of them to be exact, and they were using water from a mountain like a custom map I made in WL that had a dormant volcano lake. There were some flow issues eventually, especially because the water was getting completely drained by the dams and this disrupted where it wanted to flow; the water from the source started making its own way in opposite directions and this annoyed me. Dream Fragment: In some kind of office. I remember the typical fake ceiling and light fittings. It must have been afternoon; there was a nice and golden light coming in through blinds that covered the windows. The dream focus was on two characters. A stereotypical "madame" and her butler. She wanted to check if she had won some prize with this organisation which did travel tours as rewards? She was obviously naive with her direct interactions with people and the world. Someone representing the organisation felt a bit odd and sinister. Notes: - The pre-sleep state was interesting because it was like what I used to get as a child, just not as strong. It came on very subtly and on its own. - That state's content was a conscious decision, because I quickly understood that I was more creatively receptive at this stage compared to normal thought, just a shame I didn't interrupt it to make any notes about the painting ideas. - I was a bit disappointed to not have made notes about the sex dream right after it had happened. In the last few days during the first morning awakenings I have dreams with great recall and think to myself of short word descriptions for the dreams so that I can remember them even if I fall asleep but this technique hasn't worked very much so in conclusion I really need to just write down dreams as soon as I can if I'm likely to fall asleep again.
Again i had longer dreams but they still evade my memory when I have to write them down. I should take notes but I'm getting lazy in my old age. Jamie Only a brief flash of walking with jamie down some steps in a park or something. That's all. this is the only dream I had of her this week. Although I'm frustrated she isn't around much in them anymore I guess something once a week is consistent. Hug I'm driving with someone into a parking lot of a large apartment building. I have false memories of running around the hallways of the apartment complex, and most of it seemed abandoned. As wee pull in I see C and C come out of a stairwell. And yes It's the C i tried to date last summer and failed miserably with. Mainly because of Jamie being upset in a dream and a string of jamie synchronicities scared me out of it. Twin flames, or alien love bite, or whatever you call it - God forbid they actually talk to you in person or write you. But somehow they raise all hell when you try for something else.... Anyway the driver notices the C with bigger boobs and asks me about her. I say those girls are skanky and the one he fancies is already in a relationship. We park and get out, and my C notices me. She walks up to me and gives me a big hug. I think she is apologizing for something. I'm surprised since she pretty much avoids me like the plague. The hug IS her though. It's so nice and warm. Then i wake up. Jamie really needs to step up her dream hugging game. Jesus I'm in a room with Jesus and he says, "what Are you doing in my dream?" Not sure why he would say that, if he really meant it or said it in a joking way. There was no context.
Morning of March 27, 2020. Friday. Dream #: 19,457-02. Reading time: 2 min 24 sec. In this dream, part of my immediate waking-life identity meanders. Although I recall factors of real life (mostly only that I have a family, not where I live as is often the case) in the second section after the preconscious initiation (a typical unknown intrusive male), the setting remains ambiguous. The preconscious personification (sleep-wake mediator) activates atypically in the middle of my sleep cycle. I am near the center of a large, mostly featureless room with many other people. When cognitive arousal initiates, I have a pile of books next to me on my right (potential waking orientation as I sleep on my left side) as I sit on the floor. The man comes over to me, claiming I have a book I am not supposed to have, due to copyright reasons. It is a blank sheet music book for writing music. The publisher’s name is Fabergé. I argue with him for a few minutes, saying his claim is ridiculous because it is just a blank sheet music book (so I am denying cognizance while sleeping as well as ignoring the preconscious). I soon see him sitting with an unknown man. As a result of suppressing cognizance modulation to sleep longer, water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation) occurs. I am in the small upstairs bathroom of the King Street mansion (irrelevant since the 1990s) in Wisconsin, though it is erroneously on the first floor and has a crawlspace beneath. I take a dream journal (from the late 1990s) from being tied with a cloth to a horizontal pipe near the baseboard and water sprays out. I am unsure how to stop the leak, as I do not want my book to get wet. Water is rushing under the floor, so I have to go outside to check. I consider calling our landlord. (I think of our present landlord in Australia, validating my dream initiated a thread for the emergence of partial recall, though the real-life leak was under Zsuzsanna’s sister’s house recently.) I now recall I have a family, though the setting is still wrong. When I go outside to check the leak, I am looking at a variation of the Cubitis house in Florida (irrelevant since 1978, so setting changes are not always in chronological order as water reinduction is opposite to the directive of emergence). The nature and layout of the scene have changed, and the leak is far from where the original orientation would correlate. There are two leaks from a long horizontal pipe unrealistically situated outside, about two feet from the ground and a few feet from the front of the other part of the house, though coming from the south wall of my Cubitis bedroom, implying its location has replaced the small King Street bathroom (typical errors in dream continuity as the Cubitis house had no crawlspace and the King Street house’s bathroom, again, was on the second floor). However, the leaks soon stop due to a bubble growing around the connections, keeping the water inside. Eventually, two big irregular bubbles shaped somewhat like hourglasses (temporality reference implying water reinduction is ending), float up from the pipes. I no longer see any leaks. Precursory cognizance kicks in again with the general reference to the condition of the sun (analogous to the lack of true identity and cognizance in the dream state). Zsuzsanna is with me outside. We are still erroneously in Cubitis, in the front yard. I see that the “sun” looks like Earth floating within a frying egg, though its lower right area is spreading out in an irregular form as if the egg is runny.
The dream scene was a festival in a field surrounded by some tall trees, an expansive lake to the right, and some mountains from the entrance. It was close to dawn. I had arrived and my view was shifting around the field to various people. I'm looking at a picture at some point that shows Lizzie is there smiling in a crowd, she was with Aly B. I believe my guide was there too, her and Lizzie possibly changing places multiple times. I'm now sitting in the field and Lizzie has her head in my lap. She sits up and looks at me like I had just woken up. I start to wonder how long I've been at this festival. I think I had fallen asleep and woken up. Her and I look up to the sky to see fireworks exploding. Some of them weren't like normal fireworks though, they were exploding but then the lights were forming these filled in shapes that formed a larger ring and were spinning across the sky and behind the trees lining the field. The field now has a building that looks like a futuristic temple connected to the lake. I'm wading into the water and see a guy in the water shooting the fireworks up into the sky. In a weird way he's almost juggling the fireworks. I think to myself that these fireworks should be brought into the waking world. That should've been a lucid trigger but I missed it. The guy starts explaining to a group of us, some in the temple opening and some around the edge of the water about different types of meats and sandwiches. It was meant to be comical, there's a fridge with a glass door where he's explaining different things inside. I'm now eating a sandwich that has meat on it, I think turkey though it looked like uncooked chorizo, as we're walking up a staircase in the temple to the roof. Jmike is up there and we start talking about wow, he starts to bring up a time we are in wsg and now we're in wsg chasing a flag carrier. My character is hitting a shaman as it jumps down in the flag room. I get it really low but he stuns me and turns into a bear running towards the gy. As we get outside he turns me into this small statue and sprints further towards the gy.
Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes. Dream: I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think. We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us. Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing. I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying. Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point. But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that. Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man. There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something? Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through. I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars. Dream Fragment: At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state). It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door. Dream Fragment: Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all. Notes: - Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help. - The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context. - The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.
My view was from the ground looking up at a cliff with trees in the background, about 10 feet up. The cliffs were a light brown. Henry Winkler was walking on the cliff, it was some sort of reminiscing of the fonz except he was shifting between being older and being younger. I'm at the kc lakeview pool on the basketball court but it's a field with the edges lined with walls or steep hills, spectators are looking down at the field. It's night time, the lights are shining down on the field. Two spectators wind up and throw what look like paper airplanes but made of metal or something else instead. We're playing some strange game and the airplanes are supposed to hit people and earn points or possibly screw them up. I look towards the swamp to see players running down the field. There's a clothesline running perpendicular across the field, two older bald men run right into it, stopping their momentum completely and flipping them up in the air.
One fairly long dream at least, though I had others this was the most prominent on my mind after waking up and even so I didn't make note of all of it. Dream: A sequence about Diablo 3. There was a new expansion for the game or something and they were finally continuing the prime evil storyline but the plot was still kind of convoluted and somehow involved time travel to go back to the time of creation of the evils. But then this angel said (to me and other characters?) that we'd have to go even further back than that. Passing thoughts about the creation of time. I remember having an interface like in the game and quickly found out that something that had been changed was that you could now make any ability/rune combination use any element, as well as some other bonus I don't remember. Just shortly after changing some abilities, while I was looking through these things I think, a treasure goblin appeared and I chased after him. I was going to try using cleave and rend again (I typically always use weapon throw especially because of enemies like the goblins) but the goblin run just fast enough that small mistakes made me not able to catch up to him. At that moment I was immediately regretting having cleave as my primary ability instead of weapon throw. Eventually he stopped to do one of his little scripted "look-around" animations and I caught up, quickly getting his health down to 1. This annoyed me because he was technically dead but the animation had to finish for him to properly die. Then I swapped my abilities back and this time I was going to have weapon throw again but with a bleeding effect (literal in the dream but just general DoT) and with poison elemental damage. But I realised I wasn't sure what my most boosted element was so I tried to find the interface bit where it showed these values but somehow I'd completely forgotten where that was. I looked physically for it? And ended up finding it displayed somehow but also some electrolytic capacitors. I saw the poison was 400 and something % and decided that it was the strongest I had. Some time later (transition?) I got on some sort of magical stone lift. Yellow beams of light were coming from underneath it, just where there were gaps between the lift and the surround it fit into. It was on a cliffside. I remember fog and a generally nightly and blueish atmosphere. Across from me was a portal, with purple fog coming out of it and I thought that should be the time portal. The lift started descending and I felt like it took me to the past somehow, or perhaps I was already in the past and I'd already come through the portal (portal potentially being the dream "explanation" of being here with no transition). Down at the bottom was a cave of some sort, as I remember. Fairly light coloured stone, but dark in there. Notes: - The bit with the goblin was a mix of places, like from Mephisto's lair in D2 and the invaded angelic towers from D3. - In this bit I remember the camera/view angle was like in D3. - The dream went on even after the cave at the bottom of the lift and while I did initially have recall of those parts of the dream, because I didn't make note of them in the morning, the recall beyond that point is completely gone now. - This is the first D3 dream I remember having, but I'll have to go back through my previous notes and DJ entries to be sure.
Morning of March 24, 2020. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,454-02. Reading time: 2 min 40 sec. Surreal distortions and unique false memory constructs integrate with the routine dreaming processes in the standard order, with mostly a passive narrative (predictable preconscious eluding) with typical virtual amnesia. My waking-life identity meanders in and out in this exceptionally long dreaming experience. Instinctual summoning is a factor, but it never emerges into full lucidity, only liminality in the last scene. In the first scene, I am at the false location of La Crosse at the Loomis Street house. The house to its right (also on Loomis Street) when viewed from the street, is fictitiously inhabited by Earl (half-brother on my mother’s side; deceased). Bob (brother-in-law; recently deceased) is present in his house. (I have no recall of their deaths.) I walk several blocks south of Loomis Street (on Sill Street) when I become annoyed at two homeless men walking around in (and possibly living in) my dumpster (that is otherwise mostly empty). At this point, I am aware of Zsuzsanna being to my left. Unknown people are with us. I tell the homeless men to leave, but one of them pushes a big concrete slab against the door, so it cannot be opened (even though dumpsters do not have entry doors like this in real life). I become angrier and tell them that there are shelters for homeless people. They do not seem to want to listen to me as I repeat myself several times. Wall mediation (second stage) becomes viable with a chain-link fence defining the division between dream space and potential liminality (with similar processing dynamics as “An Unexpected Late Night Visit” from March 17). The homeless men are now in someone’s front yard on the other side of the fence. I summon a gun and shoot one of them. He somehow becomes embedded in the fence. I shoot at the other male, but the bullet gets stuck in the fence and does not reach him. (In the March 17 dream, I was in our present home with a sleep-wake mediator outside of our fence. Earlier, I deliberately hung a scarecrow on the fence. Also, I threatened to use a gun but did not.) Processing dynamics and instinctual elements meander, and as a result, I suddenly consider I may have committed a crime. I walk briskly with Zsuzsanna and the unknown people east down Sill Street to be out of sight in case the police arrive. I had left the gun behind and suddenly consider my fingerprints might have been on it. I return to the invalid construct of the houses on Loomis Street. Even though Bob and Earl are still standing around, the houses are missing. Only sunken foundations are left. I decide to run to the King Street mansion with the expectation of a portal in the middle room on the east side (second floor). My waking-life identity is gone again. After going through the portal in the big closet nearest the entry door, I am technically in the same world but phased to be invisible and intangible. I walk past police who are talking to the King Street landlady. They ask her about my whereabouts and in what organizations I had been. I fly and phase through buildings, going north. Instinct triggers typical subliminal awareness of being in bed. I find myself on the side of a mountain with an unknown female (probably Zsuzsanna in my absent waking-life identity). I am under a blanket with her as she sleeps. She rolls over and seems to see me, and I am somewhat surprised. “Oh, you can see me?” I ask. In a vivid offset dream, I am high above an unknown city. Instead of flying, I leap about ten feet from one ledge to another (along its length) and kick over small stacks of books that are in my way so that most fall from the narrow walkway. There does not seem to be enough imaginary proprioception or emerging physical awareness to trigger a myoclonic jerk as otherwise near the beginning of every sleep cycle.
Well, I've been dealing with some temptations lately. all I can say if Jamie can really sense these things... I really feel for her. Had a few dreams that i can't recall now. Lucid Became lucid in my house and asuka was around. I asked her if she'd seen Jamie around. Asuka said: Yes but she's been hiding out in a parallel universe. Asuka holds up a mirror and I walk through it like a door. On the other side is a Giant mall. A bunch of people are walking around and they all look exactly the same. They look like Soji, from tar trek Picard... I ask one of them if she had seen Jamie, Ahe reluctantly said "yes." and started walking me down an aisle, butthen I woke up. Other dreams were flashes so they don't really warrant titles. I was laying in bed dosing off wondering about why I'm struggling with these temptations. I fall asleep into a micro dream and jesus is on the cross again and he says, "My son I am always with you." Last sleep, I saw myself sleeping with someone who wasn't Jamie and i heard Jamie's voice as a voiceover, "No," Suddenly the girl under me vanished and I was suddenly outside and the girl's clothes were a heap on the ground. I saw text flash over the scene. "Jesus sent you this girl." Wasn't sure if the text was referring to the girl or jamie. Okay in all history of having entities flash text prophetic messages in my dream, virtually none were true nor came to pass. So I don't trust it at all.
Two dreams from this morning. Dream: Don't remember the start of the dream really but I was seeing some pictures in a news article, I think on a newspaper. It was about two men and a woman who had returned to Earth after being in outer space, and they were being praised for their survival. It seemed odd because I thought this to be a fairly routine thing and there was no subtext of an accident having occurred or anything. Spoiler for Possibly gorey/graphic: Each one of the space crew was featured in a picture each; they were naked and in hospital beds; the first man had no lower half of his body, I remember some bloody or exposed bits, including on his face, the right side of it was like burned or torn off or something. The second man had no lower half either, I remember he had sort of short and blond wavey hair. His right arm was beside him, he was lying on his side but the arm didn't seem to be attached to his body, it just looked like it was chopped or sawn off and was left next to him. He wasn't dead but he seemed to be asleep? Something in the article mentioned "liquifacted organ failure" about this man. I remember noticing in the picture there was a bloody and jelly-like substance under him, primarily where his hips would have been. The woman had no lower half, either. But she was clearly conscious and smiling toward the camera, both arms stretching out either side and giving thumbs up, seemingly rather positive. Dream Fragment: I was in a town, don't know it from anywhere in waking life but it had the typical look of towns from my native country. It had a characteristic path that in the dream's context was commonplace for me to use. The path went up to and across a small water area that was quite deep, the only way to cross it was on some rickety wooden beams. The water looked murky but clear at the same time, and I wasn't afraid of falling in, finding myself much more concerned with the fact that I realised that recently the beams had been moved and had to be adjusted now before I could cross. I saw an old lady across from the water, she was carrying some shopping home and didn't look my way, but I heard her muttering that she wished her grandma would stop moving the beams. I had a passing thought of asking her to confront her grandma so it wouldn't happen again, but I didn't. The dream went on for a while but I don't remember any details apart from the fact that it had something to do with aunts from my mom's side and my siblings. Notes: - The first dream was quite unusual in its content and my sense of location was more inside the pictures than where I actually was reading this article from. This morning was disrupted by loud construction work at 7AM so maybe that had something to do with it. - The general plot of that dream may simply have come because I've been watching some medical dramas recently, although there has been nothing in them quite like this. - I'm remembering that the second dream took place during day time but everything looked particularly grey and overcast.
Created Sunday 22 March 2020 Got a DILD and some scraps today. Scrap Group 1 Something about going to a shopping center located atop a hill. Vaguely recall playing Demon RL. Dream 1 - Break Valley Dreamlet to dream. The visuals were clear. I was laying supine outdoors, looking up at a bright blue, partially cloudy sky. Soon, I noticed the moon, only it was behaving erratically. That is, it was zooming in and out at rapid speeds. This brought instant awareness. I fly towards moon, but it vanishes. So, I opt to just soar through the clouds. Noticed sensations and noises of this act were quite faint, with the sole exception of heavy moisture. After a few minutes dancing in the air, I dive down on land again. I find myself on grassy hill land, sparse on foliage but no shortage of other greenery. This sight made me unconsciously play Sky Santuary's theme from Sonic & Knuckles in the background. I let myself enjoy the view for a moment, when the surroundings took on blocky textures. Eh, whatevs. I won't let that bother me now. Alright, sightseeing over. Time for some random mayhem! Using telekinesis, I lifted a tree about 30 yards away, then hurled towards a mossy mountains about a mile away. The tree pierced through, and seconds later, the entire hill crumbled down. Noticed there was an unsatisfying lack of sound. I repeated this several more times on different hills, if only to get some noise going. Got bored of the trite view around this point. So I forcefully warped the scene to take on more realistic visuals. Anyway, I asploded a mountain once more, only this time, I struck it with dozens of trees simultaneously. Real life noises distracted me from the dream. I woke up seconds later.
Updated 05-11-2020 at 09:45 PM by 89930 (Incorrect journal entry number)
A few fragments but I remembered some more detail as I read and rewrote my notes from the morning. Dream: In the old version of the square in my home town. It’s altered compared to my actual memory of it however. It was a bigger area somehow; this may relate to the fact that my memories of this version only exist from my childhood as it changed pretty early on in my life. But the dream takes place in a present time. I have abilities from Diablo 2, more specifically Sorceress and Amazon abilities. I remember an interface overlay like in the game where I could pick the spells from. Noteably I remember the explosive arrow and glacial spike abilities, but on closer inspection the glacial spike was actually called frostga. I was shooting a bow with explosive arrows at these two guys that were just running around a bit aimlessly I think. They just wouldn’t die though and I kept running out of mana, for some reason glacial spike used a lot but explosive arrows didn’t (some uniques in the game granted it as a passive modifier, derived from that?). Dream Fragment: I remember there were transitions but the main place in the dream was this Egypt themed zone like a level from Unreal Tournament. It was night time and the zone in itself was more like a floating platform high up I. The sky. It had the shape of a circle but extended out of itself into “knots” on four corners? Despite being night time it was fairly bright, moonlit mostly. But there were glitches with the lighting, like the level wasn’t finished properly, so some objects and areas were just far too bright like the gamma was wrong just for those bits but I accepted this as something that does happen. Dream: Was with mom and dad in the car, we were downtown but everything looked so different, more like a post modern and brand new style than what I think I would have expected, which would be old buildings. Dad was commenting on how empty the entire area was. I don’t remember commenting myself. Nothing felt surprising or unusual in the dream. We went past some museums, one had written in big block capitals at its entrance: PAPU or something of the sort. As we went past it, I saw an ascending escalator inside the museum through some large and curved glass panes. I had a deja vu in the dream when I saw this. We went a bit further along and I remember having thoughts about how this area was supposed to be for modern cars only or that it had been pedestrianised. We arrived near the square next to the river but it all seemed pedestrianised and like we weren’t supposed to be in the car here but dad didn’t realise. A blonde or fake blonde and sort of nearly pale white lady walked up to us and then we weren’t in the car anymore but I thought nothing of it. She told dad that he couldn’t drive here, only “on the basement level” (to park?). There was a platform with road on it that was a lift that went underground just a bit ahead; I think I saw this before the lady was there, but I remember interacting with some console which had a blue GUI with options displayed. The last and only option I remember said something like “1950s (1980)”.
The dream was in a courtyard but also some sort of gymnasium too. I think I was on UVA's grounds. I was in an open courtyard that had a clear middle and then on the outside were a handful of treadmills that were hiked up very steep like three feet up. The outside walls had a step up into archways that led out of the courtyard. My view was shifting throughout the courtyard, it was fairly crowded with students hanging out and walking around. I was trying to find an open treadmill. Eventually I did find one that was hiked up and I was trying to lower it. After that I grabbed onto this thing to pull myself up on the outside of the courtyard into one of the archways. The thing was like a metal fencing that fell backwards when I put my weight on it and I hit the ground. I get up into the archway and it's a living space with a few rooms. I notice James Bu and a group of guys who I think are Lizzie's friends. I get the feeling that they had been hanging out all day together and getting high. My view shifts to a garage with a car and in front are two kids in a double stroller and another kid who is about 10 years old. I think it's James Bu's little brothers. The 10 year old is smoking out of a gatorade bottle gb which shocked me. James reaches over and pulls off the hat of one of the kids in the stroller like a lid and inside is a premade second gb filled with water. The dream shifts and we're now out in some mountains similar to LA. I think we might have Ubered there. I get the thought that Lizzie was going to this italian restaurant with the group of people but I was not invited. A guy comes out of the restaurant and starts to whisper to Lizzie and I think he's trying to get her to ditch me and go inside. I end up walking away. I'm looking at the ground at dirt and a white towel covered in dirt.
So I was in one of these pubs\taverns where alcoholists go usually... my friend was there and I told him to get out of there cuz its a toxic place , but he insisted on staying and drinking more then some alcoholic said something to me ,interfering and thats when I had enough...why even hide my thoughts from anyone, I should say what I think.... I hate all these people ,all useless recluses .. I told him to fuck off , then everyone else started to look at me , and then I was like yeah actually All of you can fuck off and flipped the finger at everyone , everyone erupted , and then I left the place. I thought I'd be attacked but nothing happened...
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