non-lucid

Whoa, no recall since 1/4/17?

I got a text today at 1am, went back to sleep. Then at 2am, tried, but couldn't fall asleep again. Got up, did some computer stuff then moved to sofa, on my back, reclined, like when I WILD. I thought what the heck, why not?

I was getting faint "memories" of things. Then this sharp, moving image took me by surprise. I'm looking out an airplane window. It's bigger than normal, and oval only on the top, straight on the bottom. Behind the window I see a landscape going by and I can tell we are landing at schiphol, netherlands. Just few more feet to wheels down. IWL, that's where I'm going, haha.

I started to get some vibrations, quite distinct, and they are getting stronger. I'm ready for a WILD. But I fall asleep.

Dream is in some hotel/dormitory/school trip kind of an environment. I just got a new room. Looking inside, I'm happy that it has more windows. I'm telling someone, I'm so happy. I was about to move to other place because my old one had only one window. (WL again). Now I have lived in rooms with view to the street, side and now the back side, which is very pretty.

I look out the hallway, and I can see that our living spaces are inside of a huge, abandoned industrial building. I wonder what's going on.

Somebody is coming after us. So I go through some rooms, then open a door that leads outside. I'm on a rickety platform and I know I need to go down so they can't see me. I keep looking inside to see the door open and I start climbing down as the person looking for us walks inside. I climb down far enough for them to not see me. As I'm climbing, there is a tons of stuff on the wall. Star Wars collection action figures, space ships, collectors cards, all kinds of fun knick knacks.

Vivid, detailed, fun. Thank you!

I was in a forest, there was a horrible blizzard. I entered my car and drove in between trees until I reached ranger station. I couldn't get there as the road was blocked by a fallen tree. I drove further and lost a side mirror on one tree, then got to my house. I made a nose plug RC and entered my house. In one of the rooms my sister was watching TV. I touched her and swapped bodies with her. The dream became unstable and I woke up.

So last night I had a dream that I was lucid. Which really isn't the same thing as being lucid, and I refuse to be satisfied with this...

The Sad Stone Harbor Dream
So Stone Harbor is basically my favorite place in the world to be, and for whatever reason it's pretty common for me to dream that it's the last day of Stone Harbor and I'm wondering where all the time went and trying to figure out how I could've used it better.

This time, I dreamed that mom was making me go to a soccer game on the last day of Stone Harbor, when what I really wanted was to be at the beach, in the sun. This made me so upset that I started crying, and ran upstairs... now I was in the 1319 house, heading for the balcony. I brushed past dad in the hallway, got to the balcony, and jumped off so that I could fly.

This is where my thought process was a bit weird. Apparently, I believed that I was awake, but that by the time I got to the balcony, I would be dreaming, without having to fall asleep. At the same time, half of me was considering the possibility that I would simply plunge to my death off the balcony in my mistaken belief that I was dreaming. I was actually pretty surprised when I practically lifted off the balcony as soon as I stepped off it, and though I was happy to be flying rather than, y'know, dead, I was a bit confused as I tried to figure out when exactly reality had become a dream. Frustratingly enough, I completely discarded the possibility that the entire thing was a dream: I firmly believed that the frustrating soccer situation constituted "reality," but that I had somehow transitioned to dreaming at some point.

So, I won't call it lucidity. Although I believed I was "dreaming," it didn't make any conscious sense. If I had been conscious, I would've realized that the entire thing was a dream, and that it's impossible to transition from awake to dreaming without falling asleep. It was like a nonsensical dream version of lucidity...

Farther along in the dream, while I was trying to survive the local serial killer and his sadistic games, I straight-up thought to myself, "I'm dreaming," while flying. I even repeated it a few more times for good measure, trying to make it sink in... but c'mon. If I'd been actually lucid, I would've realized that I could've blown up the serial killer with a thought, instead of my only ability being flying.

I want to be awake in a dream. I'm barely even awake in real life...

I dreamed that i was back in my old boarding school again. We were having some kind of feast.

01/11/2017
Dream Fragment One
Untitled
The only thing I remember are some vague images of sex, and then my landlord coming by and giving me shit about something or other. I just did what I could to avoid him, while he was hanging around.


Dream Two
"Cancelling the Apocalypse"
(Lucid)

I was with two other guys, and we were being stalked by the Marvel supervillain, Apocalypse. We were in some tall, unfinished building, surrounded by a cage of unfinished walls and concrete pillars. Apocalypse had this very Jason Voorhees type of way of following us, slowly and almost casually, before just "appearing" nearby, to try and attack us. (I had been watching beta gameplay from the new Friday the 13th game, not long before bed, which I believe inspired the way he gave chase in the dream.)

On about the 3rd floor of this hollow building structure, Apocalypse appeared and snatched up of the guys in our party, disappearing with him and reappearing somewhere down on the first floor. We could see him through the many openings in the incomplete floors beneath us, holding our ally up by the throat, with his back against one of the support columns. I can't remember exactly what he did to our guy, but I remember it being very vicious and gory, as if he just ripped him apart, with his bare hands, in a shower of blood. Knowing it was too late to do anything about it, we started running again, and before I had a chance to even know where I was going, Apocalypse was back on the third(ish) floor with us, stepping out from behind a corner just as I passed by, and coming straight for me. Having no time to think of a safe escape, and after having seen what he just did to the other guy, I immediately lept from the ledge that I was approaching, still about 3 storeys up - basically resigning to the fact that I was Not going to enjoy the landing.

In a panic, while careening toward the ground below me and preparing for the inevitable onslaught of pain and possible broken bones that awaited, I instinctively realized that this couldn't really be about to happen. This had to be a dream!! Without a moment to second-guess it, I pushed my feet straight down and braced for impact, relieved when I stuck the landing in an almost effortless crouch. I knew that Apocalypse would soon follow behind me, though, so I instinctively lunged backward, throwing my right elbow back and cracking him in the face with it, when he predictably showed up behind me. (Not sure if he was always going to be there, or if my anticipating him being behind me caused him to just 'be there'.)

I didn't stop there, though, immediately turning around and rushing him with a barrage of punching combinations to the head and gut, confidently and aggressively driving him back with each solid hit. While in mid-attack, I wondered if I should not get too carried away and try stabilizing the dream before it ended or I lost my lucidity, but I was fired up and didn't want to stop hitting him. It was only a matter of seconds, though, before the dream fell apart and I woke up.

A dream like this came as no surprise given my circumstances the previous evening. I dreamt that my good friend picked me up from a Campus Christian Fellowship event, which actually did happen the night before. Only in the dream, there occurred a disturbing turn of events. He exited his car and entered into the facility in which the occasion was being held. I had already left the building, but after he had been in there for a little while, I noticed several members of the fellowship program leaving with very sad and offended expressions. In my mind, I felt that he had spoken harsh and offensive words to them and greatly disturbed these people. I, in turn, was quite upset, and we proceeded to have a fairly significant argument over the matter. He did not drive me home, and I was stranded into the night.
Now, some things about this made sense, and other things did not. My friend does not consider himself a Christian, but he is not very critical of those who do profess to be, and he would certainly not intentionally carry out offensive and hurtful actions to strangers in the community, but this was the case in my dream. I was disturbed by this dream upon awakening, and I wondered what this was trying to tell me, if anything.
I cannot remember the circumstances surrounding this next dream, but I remember the feeling of it, and one image in particular. I’m staring at a face that bears a striking resemblance to that of my former lover. In the dream, I am experiencing the exact emotions I had when I was with her. It’s weird that I cannot recall these exact emotions now IRL, but in the dream, they were very real. It’s as if I can only recall my true emotions of the past in my dreams. The reasons behind this dream I could point to fairly easily. I introduced my friend (The same friend in the first dream) to the show Twin Peaks last night. We watched the pilot episode last night, and needless to say, he’s hooked. But there was an odd moment when we realized he looks quite a bit like the show’s unfortunate victim, Laura Palmer, to the point that it actually freaked us out a little. I have no doubt this instance is what influenced my dream, but I cannot explain how I was able to relive the exact emotional state in the dream as when I was with her.

Non-Lucid: I was in a flea market that I've never seen before & I was stealing things, mostly jewelry & eventually got caught but talked my way out of it. For whatever reason this dream was very long & boring really. I stole a whole lot of stuff.

I was in my kitchen, it was evening. I had something in my pocket and took it out, it was a battery bent into a shape of c and encrusted with numerous small gems. I went to a hallway and saw my older sister and my friend, both of them were working abroad (though in different countries). My friend was giving my sister a basket with crackers. Suddenly doors to toilet opened and my pal leaned out. I showed him the battery and he said "Oh, that'll come in handy!" and then went back inside toilet, closing doors behind him.

11-Jan-2017 - ND#1: Hawks vs Antelopes, The worrisome hotel + WILD: Lilliput Theater, Plane flight + ND#2: Car slides on ice

ND#1: I am travelling with my colleague L, through an area with red/brownish dirt hills; he tells me some hawks and antelopes have been fighting here (!!!) Some hawks have taken antelopes away, some antelopes have ground hawks (!!!) At one time I get off the car and pick the body of a hawk; it breaks down in my hands (!!!)
I wonder if this makes any sense or it could be a dream. I look at the digital clock in my car, and it consistently reads the same time 21:12, then 21:13 after many checks. The rest of the cockpit also looks good. I find it strange that it should be dark but it's fully day, but I attribute that to not adjusting the clock properly after last reset. Near miss, but I am more aware the rest of the dream, very good recall

I reach an hotel; I look for restrooms, find them in a floor below ground level after many poorly lit corridors with several turns.
First restrooms I find are not good enough, I find a second one. They look dark, but when I approach the orinal, I also notice two steel carts with corpses on them (!!!) I read these are the "Halls of the Dead". I do my business very quickly and go away, the place looks unsettling

I find an elevator, I ask to a woman passing there if this will take me to the lobby, she says "Of course !", showing a convincing body language that says "Why do you even ask ? It's totally obvious"
I reach a salon which looks like a lobby and bar, there are many round tables, many women sitting there, some wear old-fashioned clothes (19th century maybe)
I notice a girl very shabby looking, brown skin, sitting in such a way that some parts that should be hidden are visible instead (!!!)
None of them seem caring I am there or having an intention to interact.
I make another tour of the salon then go away. I wake up, it's 4:30 AM

WBTB/WILD#1: (4:30AM, est. ~30min over 1 hr of time)
I start from previous dream. I find two more corpses in a dark corridor; For a moment I think about investigating, but immediately abandon the idea
At the end of a corridor I reach a theater with many chairs. I proceed beyond the curtains
I lay on the floor and imagine myself tied up by ropes, which happens. Around me appear many small men, mostly wearing gnome-like hats
<JUMP>
I have troubles reaching outside, I always find another wall or floor. When I succeed, I fly up on the landscape, until I find a small airport.
I land, there is a small old plane, with only a central propeller. I sit inside, clicl buttons in the cockpit, then draw the cloche towards me and take off. I fly above the scenery, which unfortunately is not very interesting, trees and hills.

When I try some tight air tricks I cannot pull them off. However, large maneuvers work fine
After some time I see another small airport below me. I make an appropriate wide maneuver to line up with the runway.
When I get very close I remember the final part of the task was not actually landing but opening a time breach
I act very quickly. The time breach opens in front of me, consisting of a "hole" in the reality, covered by a cloth with many stamped analog clocks of varying size. Oh well !
I fly inside the hole with the plane
I immediately find myself grounded, in a field with many plants from PvsZ, mostly green peashooters, tall about same as me.

From there I walk away and visit more places, houses and shops, trying to find a Christmas tree and some forgotten presents for TotM
Last house I visit, owned by a bearded guy, has a Xmas tree, but no presents

More short fragments, forgotten

ND#2: Recalled while driving, by a strong sense of deja-vu

I am driving my car, A and G are passengers. We've just got out of a place we've been for a whole day (FDM)
The road is covered with ice, and when I carelessly drive at normal speed, the car slides forward
My passengers don't seem too worried.
I break and the car keeps sliding, then reducing gear and accelerating I recover the car
I make a U-turn and drive in the opposite direction, finding the place where I had slid earlier
I say after such long time inside I thought the ice had melted

11/1/17
Dream 1: I was playing wizard101, some people were telling me there was some new top level gear to try to farm, shoes in particular

Dream 2: I was at university, ended up killing someone I think, tried to hide it, conscience eating me up. Go to buffet lunch with some people and try to remain calm.

Dream 3: I was having dinner with my grandparents, I talk too much about stupid stuff.

Dream 4: My younger brother was called up to play cricket with some ex players, given a beer or two afterwards. He says 'where's wally' made him safer and that's why they picked him.

Fragment: Indigestion from eating bread

Dream 5: I was in a fantasy world, in a tavern, the world almost gets sucked out and down a waterfall but a wizard inside stops it. I start talking to them and want them to teach me. This cycle of almost catastrophe continues a few times, and the occupants of the tavern changes each time, but eventually it stabalizes.

Dream 6: Novak Djokovic at our house, helping clean up some stuff and high-fiving everyone.

Dream 7: Reading a newspaper article featuring someone I met at a friends party, about politics I think.

8-Jan-2017 - ND - Forgotten

9-Jan-2017 - No recall

__________________________


10-Jan-2017 - ND#1: Medical visit daughter + ND#2: Forgotten + WILD#1: Spaghetti + WILD#2: Sled

ND#1: We are at a heart doctor, visiting our daughter (really happened this days); she's laying in an awkward position (!)
ND#2: Forgotten

WILD#1: (6:20AM, est. ~5min)
Despite the incoming alarm, I attempt WILD and I am successful although it's very short

A bowl of spaghetti / noodles inside. I duplicate it
I see a cloth bag with some writings outside, it contains food condiments, some mozzarella to be put in the past

WILD#2: (6:30AM, est. ~10min)
I stop the alarm and sleep 10 min more

I teleport myself on top of a snowy mountain. There are some people with skiing suits, I ask one of them if I can borrow his bobsled, he's ok.
It's very similar to the one I had when I was young, red with dark metal brakes and yellow handles, it has some colorful stickers to the sides
I look it inside and at the bottom; the dream is very stable
I place the bob on the snow, sit inside and descend

I go quite fast, I have little time to look at the scenery, I arrive at a flat clearing very quickly
I forgot to open the passage at the bottom (TotY)

From that point, I descend again; this time, before reaching the bottom, I wish creating a black crack in the terrain before me.
I fall inside the crack on my bob. Few seconds of blackness, then I reach a brown rocky area, lighted by lava below. I land on the bob at a dirt clearing surrounded by low brown rocks and lava outside.

I would explore but need to get up

I managed a couple stress dreams this morning.
In one of them, my mom was verbally bashing my youngest. She said she used to be my clone but now she looks terrible with her dyed red hair and lesbian relationship. I yelled at her for being so mean and told her she was crazy, that Zee's still beautiful etc etc.

In the other dream, I was driving down the road as a passenger and I saw something small fall out of a moving car. The car I was in stopped, as did the one in front of us. A woman was scurrying about, picking up money that was blowing away in the wind. I rushed over to what had fallen out: a little girl. I bundled her up, looked her over and she looked completely fine. I asked her if she fell asleep against the door and wasn't wearing her seatbelt. Then I buckled her in and told her not to go to sleep in case her brain had a boo-boo lol

Fitbit: 4:20AM-12:22PM sleep. 12 times restless for 2 hours 15 minutes. Sleep 5hours 47 minutes

Vague and poorly remembered dreams overall, linked by a pervasive feeling of threat, but in the end I came to an insightful realization.

In one scene, the garage door was open, and I was with at least one other DC pointing a gun at some cats milling around just outside. I love cats, but I suspected that these might be evil spirits in disguise.

In another scene, I saw a collection of malevolent dolls outside the front door of a house at night. Their malevolence was limited by the fact that most of them had no arms, except for one shaped like an octopus, which had its full complement of tentacles. That one was almost cute, though. Another doll was especially wicked but consisted of only a head, and I watched as a dog came up and carried it off. "It's just as well," I commented to someone standing nearby. "He was already almost dead."

In the final and most notable scene, I was holding a door shut against some evil force that was trying to push it open. I was exerting as much strength as I could, hoping to lock the door to better secure it, but I couldn't get it closed tightly enough to fasten the latch. I felt the door beginning to open wider, despite all my efforts, and my anxiety increased... until I suddenly realized that I was making a category error.

If this was my world, a physical threat, then yes, I would need to try to hold the door with physical force. But I recognized that this was not my world, and in this world, my attempts to push the door closed only gave more power to the threat. To avoid the threat I needed to deny it my strength by denying it my attention, just like in dreams. I did not actually recognize that I was dreaming, only that this was an analogous situation.

There was a woman standing next to me, so I expressed my thoughts to her and distracted myself by caressing her face and shoulders. The sensuality quickly dissipated the anxiety I had felt about the door, and it ceased to be a threat even though I was no longer holding it closed.

I was inspired by my realization, and inquired the woman's perspective on it. "So it works because we are aliens here?" I asked her. She replied that some groups held this point of view, but others disagreed, so that my standing in relation to this world remained controversial.

Bed @ 2245
Woke @ 0530 /w alarm

Electric guitar
I'm watching a group of musicians. One of them has just switched over to an electric guitar and is trying to figure out how to make it work. He's strumming the strings, but they're very rubbery and hardly make any sound at all. Someone points out that his guitar isn't actually plugged into a speaker, and they start looking around for the right cable. Now it's plugged in, and he's trying again, but it's still not making the right sound. He tries strumming, he tries plucking, he tries picking, but nothing is working right.

Fragment: Something outside a house.

1/11/2017

Not a very vivid dream, but I have not been able to remember dreams for the past two days, so I will take it. One is a bit odd, well, let's say that they are all odd a little...

I did try and WILD after waking up from my dream below. Well, I originally wanted to WBTB and try and just roll back over and go back into the previous dream, but I needed to use the bathroom and I was a bit confused on how to go about it, so I decided that I would use that oppourtunity to try and WILD which was unsuccessful. I was thinking too much about my day and I was a bit too hungry, and when I would try and focus on my dream, my hunger would really grow.

I was in my high school, with people from my high school. We are working on a portrait of some sorts. We are not really working on it in the dream, but in the dream I am thinking about the portrait. I am thinking about it drying and that's it. And I am thinking about how it's drying and visualising how it's drying. Like what parts are dry or not. I hear one of my friends talking about us being together again (as a class) and he his happy. Then we are going to start on another portrait. I look at the whiteboard in the classroom and there's a date that say December something, (I remembered right after I woke up, but now that I am writing it down, I cannot remember the exact date anymore) I think about my teacher and wonder where he is. It ends.

I am this odd room with odd people. I do not like them and I am being very racist towards them and my dad is behind me and when I was being racist, he would pull me back and basically tell me to stop it. I was sort of worried that they might hurt me if I am too racist towards them, but nothing happens really and I think they laugh and whatnot. It ends.

No LD's tonight.