non-lucid

Dreamt I found out I had missed a work deadline. I found two boxes of old green printer paper which I was supposed to fill out my work on. I bunked off work trying to avoid the boss and secretly worked on completing the deadline.

Note: Seems to be a reminder that I should be doing some work during my time off and not just resting?

it was very cold the breeze was a deep chain of being crucified in the wilderness I felt as if I been here before or the place same like a familiar setting I start running as I was running the cold pressure got more intense I was frozen in a staring photo as I try to open my eyes I see a pinch black sunset arise from the clouds into a orange crème as the orange took control of the sky I see a pinch dull of blue getting ready to take the sky over as the creamy orange was settling in

Morning of February 16, 2018. Friday.



In my dream, the most vivid scenario of the waking transition involves my dream self (personified subconscious) being on a bus with my wife Zsuzsanna and our youngest children. I remain in a passive and thankful mood. The location is unknown. It does not seem familiar, though the bus driver is on the left side, so it seems to be implied to be in America (though I have not lived there since 1994 and Zsuzsanna has never been there).

The bus driver is an unknown chubby female of whom reminds me of my crossing guard from when I lived at 901 Rose Street (near the intersection in a second floor apartment of a building which is no longer there).

It seems to be late morning, though the perceived time seems to change a few times (of which is very common in my dreams, as my subconscious self has no viable sense of time or continuity). There is an intersection up ahead. I am aware that it had been raining. An interesting mood develops. I realize that rain makes human life possible and that without it, the world would have no life. I have a vague awareness that the bus driver had telepathically caused me to realize this.

There had been a flood in one part of the street (from the rain), but the water has lowered. As we near the intersection, I have the typical focus on whether or not the bus driver is competent (this being a long-term carryover from waking life thought since childhood, though this thought does not dominate or seem problematic and I ultimately trust the driver to get us home safely).

The bus stops, but we are apparently not at our destination yet (though my dream self has no focus on where I presently live as is often the case). The bus is on the right side of the street, its back close to the perpendicular street it just turned from. The bus driver says, “I have to find something”. I am standing in the front stairwell of the bus watching her. She puts her hands down into the murky water near the curb. Soon, she pulls out a small tennis racket that is slightly muddy (though with very light-colored tan sand). I am uncertain if this is what she had been looking for, but she gives it to my youngest son. My dream fades from here.

---

Zsuzsanna, in real life, had been looking at, and thinking about, small tennis rackets made for dolls while at a Kmart store on the previous day (Our Generation dolls and accessories). There is no explicable way I could have known this or for it to influence the main event in my final dream of the sleeping period. Not only this, she said her thought processes were “stronger” than usual during this event. Additionally, after my dream, she told me of how she had won a tennis racket at age twelve by reaching into water and pulling out a toy duck (relating to a matching number for the prize at a Brisbane show). This is not unusual in my experience, as at least one dream per sleeping period is based on something Zsuzsanna had thought about (or said to someone else) of which I could not have possibly known about. This was validated to have been going on, continuously, long before we met, and additionally, Zsuzsanna is the “mystery girl” who had been in my dreams since childhood (and of whom I even saw in my dreams as an adult while she was still very young).

---

The scenario of this dream, a bus approaching an intersection and stopping or bumping into a curb before turning right (sometimes in the event of water lowering waking symbolism as here), has recurred since early childhood, though always with different dynamics. This is based on neural gating. It signifies whether or not the dream state will terminate or continue. (However, there are also inexplicable dynamics of which I will describe below.) As here, the bus turns right and my dream soon ends after the RAS to emergent consciousness factor, additionally validated by the water lowering waking symbolism, which occurs in at least one dream during every sleeping period (water symbolizing sleep in autosymbolism, its dynamics relevant to the specific aspect of REM).

RAS as the personified preconscious is a bus driver here. The biological function of RAS (Reticular Activating System) is for sleep-wake transitions (though again, there are inexplicable dynamics). This is why a dream is primarily autosymbolic of the dream state and waking transition itself, which is why “interpretation” as most commonly propagated is not a real concept despite the Barnum effect.

There is evidence that the side the bus driver is on in a dream correlates with what side I am sleeping on, especially as buses and cars often symbolize (or are an autosymbolic extension of) the human body. (This is also true for boats, airplanes, and trains when vestibular system ambiguity is more extant in REM. In fact, there has even been a dream where a bus I was on rolled over after I rolled over to sleep on my opposite side. However, the content of a dream must be looked at closely, as autosymbolism is based on the specific level of unconsciousness and varies from state to state through the waking transition.)

---

I know that RAS mediation and modulation as a dream’s final event, when it utilizes personification as the preconscious as here, is often transpersonal (inherently unrelated to both the dream self and the conscious self by its very nature and purpose, as its purpose is to ignite enough emotion to trigger waking, including by way of dominance or perceived conflict, real or not, though some of this “conflict” is caused by muscle tension in unconsciousness as well as vestibular system ambiguity or subliminal concern over unknown environmental noise). This tells me that RAS is not simply the biological factor of the neural gating of the dream state in REM, but transpersonal neural gating that also occurs when I am conscious. However, the dynamics are puzzling. Sometimes these events have happened in real time (during my nap while Zsuzsanna was elsewhere and “sending” in real time) and sometimes based on recent thoughts that Zsuzsanna had held in her mind but which later integrates into my dream.

---

Fell asleep at: 10:30

Woke up at: 7:10


Missing: 75℅ Of Humanity

The dream starts with me touring an apartment complex in some big city. A movie theater is directly in front of the apartments, and I'm reminded of a city in Mexico (Those on the border to be more exact).

I look down into the city, and realize NOBODY is around. NOBODY. Not even a few civilians walking around, nope, nothing.

Naturally, I freak out. I try to look up information on my phone, which makes reference to some biblical catastrophe which would wipe out 75% of the population. But, I didn't process all of that information, and thought it was zombies that did it. Yes.

So, when my family came over, I proceeded to barricade the doors when it came time to sleep. I wake up in the early hours of the morning when a group of teen survivors (Two boys and one girl) come walking up the stairs and into the hallway.

The lights are off, and all three of them are carrying candles, presumably because their phones died. I let them pass, and went back to bed.

Me and my family had spent a couple of days surviving in those apartments, when my mom decided it was time to get out of there because of the cramped living situation. We gathered up our food supply, loaded all of our stuff into the trunk, and just before we left...

Survivors.

They weren't hostile or anything, but there were very few of them to speak of. Maybe 4 or 5 people were out in the open.

My mom beckons me back into the car, and we went off to Tennessee.

I'm staring at a blinding white light trying to type words as the ink of black stain the white pre scene I get engulf in words that are meaningless if they have no purpose the intent of the dream fades as I'm staring upon the glass I close my eyes and start typing words in my dreams as I'm dreaming I cant understand anything that goes on I jus see a floating of words trying to memorize the event that never happen I try to write more yet its just black ink staining the ominous white color as the black ink stains the white I see myself transforming in letters of gesture I only have when my eyes are closed

this is a crucifixion dream I keep getting crucified in a dark alley when I'm laying in my bed
I woke up seeing 3 fire spot that I had to stomp out when I try to stomp them out a fourth fire started then fading out after that I woke up in my bed

Random WILD

Last night, I realized something is going on. I started to rock on my bed. Just my dream body, ofc. The swing (or should I say it was motion from left side of the bed to the right side and back and forth, flat on the mattress) was getting wider and wider, and I picked up a nice momentum, when movement continued by itself. next thing I know I'm standing next to my bed, not in this room, but my childhood room, I think.

Don't remember how I got outside. But I'm standing on a rooftop of a skyscraper in a super modern city. I'm looking down and all around, no fear of height at all. I decide to climb up to the top of the tallest building. So i go through buildings, on the sidewalk. There are some new police recruits practicing climbing on the rope and doing some police actions. I get to the top, there are few more steps I need to take to stand on the highest point. The sun is setting and it's beautiful, I feel quite accomplished.


Few nights ago.
All I remember now is that I was in Iran.

Another night I was in Iceland. We landed there on our way from Europe to the west. Walking around the airport, stores, luggage, my brother, food...

EDIT
I just remembered this cool part about the lucid.
As I'm standing on the roof of this huge skyscraper, among other people milling around, there is a family with 2 year old boy. Sun suddenly shines through the clouds and everybody is so surprised and happy. I realize that in this future, there is no sun. Little boy gets down to the ground and is rolling around so happy to see the sun. I feel it's warmth on me.

Ctrl+F "lucid" if you just want to read that part, which is "round 3 of dreams"


Here are my dreams from the night of February 14 to 15, 2018. I had a very nice dream chain in the third round and other than that just some vivid or interesting dreams.





First round of dreams.
"Restaurant Job. "

I woke up after a few hours sleep like I usually do. I tried to think of any dreams, but they all seemed too blurry. I thought of maybe two or three things clearly, but needed to get up to use the bathroom. I laid back down, thinking I would remember whatever I remembered next time I woke up without writing it. Or that I would have a better chance of remembering if I laid back down and thought about it, instead of writing. Well, I only remembered one part from that, but its alright. I needed the sleep.

That part was that I was at a rectangular table in front of my old house, at the end of the driveway. And I was talking about circumcision trauma. I don't remember much else of that part.

There was also something at the end of my Nana's drive way with my Uncle. There was some kind of shelf or table we were standing around.

So then I fell back asleep and had a very eventful dream.

There was something about a google search saying to eat watermelon before bed to induce lucid, dreaming. I think there was some nutrient that the watermelon contained. I was thinking that will make the person need to pee a lot but maybe that's part of the goal of the technique. I might actually try this.

There was a part where I was in a gym. It was more detailed but now I only remember it vaguely.

Then I guess I was showering after the gym, and before I was showering, I was applying a lot of white lotion to my body. (Note to self #1*. ) I remember reaching a little farther than I could in waking life to my back and massaging my own back, thinking, wow, I should give myself a back massage more often. I was massaging my own back and shoulders. That could have been a dream sign because my arms would have to be an extra two feet long to reach that far! . Also, while doing this, I was thinking it didn't make as much sense to do this before I showered, since it would wash all the lotion off.

Then I was with a bunch of people at these tables near where I went to fifth grade. With people from grade school only closer to their current age. I must have gotten up and come back to see that my friend G F (male) was at one table and a woman I knew, maybe L K or K S, was at the other table. There was this thing where I had trouble deciding whether to sit with G F or the woman. I sat with the woman, thinking I could invite G F to sit with us and we could all sit together. But, for some reason I wanted to just sit with the woman, maybe to not have to compete with G F. G F came over after a while and was mad at me. I tried to explain myself and invited him to join us. He sat with us. I had left my hoodie at the table with G F, draped over a chair, so he wasn't expecting me to have sat somewhere else.

Then we were all working around this computer monitor but instead of being perpendicular to the ground, it was parallel. I call this horizontally mounted but it isn't the same word. We were all making a slide show, each of us using a small part of the computer screen, all sharing one monitor. I started to think the woman who was there might want an easier to use monitor, so I went to get one that I thought was in a nearby closet. I had my old Sony monitor in mind from waking life. On the way to the closet, I saw my friend R F, and we went in to look together. We didn't see a monitor, but the closet had these tall shelves each with four big black box fans. The box fans were blowing towards each other. R F said that it was much cooler in here, and gave a temperature reading. I thought of taking one of the fans, but he said we shouldn't because it needs to be this cool in here. I actually felt the temperature difference in the dream which was cool.

Without the monitor, and seemingly having forgotten all about the project we were working on at the table, R F and I went to see what the temperature was like near another wall.

On our way there, a woman who kind of reminded me of an art teacher from high school, Ms. T, asked for our help with a restaurant. She needed help serving the food or something. We followed her to where that was.

I walked up a big flight of stairs to the restaurant floor, and there was a square seating arrangement. I walked around and noticed a transgender person I may have noticed in a previous dream. I felt bad for looking at them too long and looked away. I felt a sense that this person had been in a previous dream that night, and decided if I saw them again, I would become lucidly aware, but did not see them again. I also saw R M and some other people from high school. I think the seating arrangement changed from a big square to everyone being at tables and I was taking peoples food requests. Then I went back down the stairs and I saw my friend S R and another younger guy who had a gangster vibe. The gangster vibe guy was mad at S R and he flung a tiny white piece of plastic that he had ripped off a plastic bag at S R. It was the size of a fingernail. At first, I thought it was a fingernail, but it turned out it was just plastic. It was maybe half an inch long, and a quarter inch of it got lodged into S R's skin, I think on his arm. I was looking at it like, wow, that really cut through his skin pretty deep. There was no blood but it kind of scared me. I forgot what they were fighting over.

So then I saw Ms. T and she asked me about where to deliver the food. I realized that while I had taken everyone's food requests, I had not identified what seats the food should go to. I tried to remember people by name or create some kind of seating chart in my mind but it was too late, the food was already made.

There was a guy dumping his plate over his head and behind his back. I saw this and caught his food on another dinner plate. I was amazed at how good of a save that was. Everything landed on the new plate just like it was on the previous plate. It was onion rings and some kind of cheese steak sandwich. The guy was upset because instead of the cheese being melted all over and into the rest of the sandwich, it was just melted to one side of the bun. I thought of putting his sandwich in the toaster to make the cheese melt more. I was kind of being apologetic about it and trying to help in whatever way I could.

I forgot if anything else happened in that part. I might have been thinking that I am not a "perfect Jesus".

I woke up and was thinking back through the dreams. There is a funny effect when this happens lately that if I drift back to sleep, I will dream of another scene and then think that was interjected back in the dream I previously had. I started to have another dream of a well known actor dressed as a knight outside of a movie theater. He kept multiplying so another of him would pop onto the screen from a different angle or doing something else. There was some kind of music playing I think as he did this. I think I noticed I had started dreaming again and remembered, wait, I am not done remembering the other dreams yet! Then I woke up.

I forgot some earlier stuff but I don't mind because I needed the sleep. It looks like I didn't write this D J entry until 1 in the morning so that's pretty good amount of sleep. I wake up a lot throughout the night naturally, usually after dreams, so i don't need any alarm clocks.








Second round of dreams.


This "round of dreams" contained a bunch of very eventful and long dreams but I just consider it one "round of dreams" because it was the dream activity between two dream journal entries.

I forgot some from the beginning but here is where my memory starts, and there are parts where I don't have a memory of what happened along the way.

I was in the room I lived in growing up at my Nana's house. I was looking through this childrens book full of really vivid artistic pictures of various types of dragons. I was flipping through the pages in reverse. I remember one grey whale dragon that as I reverse the pages seemed to disintegrate or fall apart. Like in one page its jaw was attached and in the next page its jaw had fallen off and was just showing red flesh. I know they were really cool looking but I can't really get a clear picture in my mind beyond that. The final dragon was actually a Transmetal 2 Megatron with dragon heads for his hands. I remember looking at this thinking it didn't seem to fit with the other dragons who looked more organic. Plus, I didn't think Megatron belong to whatever company made the other dragons. But then I was actually playing with the Transmetal 2 action figure of Megatron.

There was a part with my Mom and sister in the same location. They might have been making food or something. I don't remember as much of it. I think there was a part where my sister was telling me not to go into her dream. I was about to go to sleep. I was sleeping on the floor to the left of my Nana's bed. My Mom was sleeping in my Nana's bed and she looked down at me. I felt this wave of anger or hatred like she didn't want me there. Then I woke up and thought that part through so far.

I drifted off to sleep after remembering a good chunk about that dream and dreamed some more.

Where my memory of this dream starts, the theme of looking for some place to live continued. I was living with my friend R K. He had a room I was going to be able to stay in. His friend and friend's girlfriend were staying on one side of the room. They seemed to be saying good bye as I arrived. I felt a sense that I might want to give them some time to finish saying good bye, but didn't. While I was near this wire shelf, the guy's girlfriend came to give me a hug. I was feeling bad about myself and didn't want to hug her that much so we had a really distant or light hug before she left.

Then I might have gone out of the room and back in, or it just followed from that point. But I looked on my bed, which was a big king size bed. Only now, I T, a guy I went to grade school with, and 5 of his relatives, were all sitting on my bed. They were wearing some funny knit sweaters and hats that all matched. I T said, "What up" and then a nick name I had. I responded like, whoa, I T! Surprised to see him. It seemed they needed my bed more than I did, so I thought of where else I could sleep. maybe on a floor somewhere.

Then there was a woman whose job it was to clean the house. She was telling me something to do and I didn't want to let her ego "win". It seemed like it was becoming an ego battle between her and me and so I resisted her instructions. She was fed up and walked down the hall. This room was all taking place on the room on the left hand side of my Nana's house.

I also remember at one point, not sure if it was here or earlier, seeing my Nana's upstairs hall way. But I was saying to my sister, this hall way is bigger than our whole house! And it was a long hall way.

Some other parts may have happened between these parts that I forgot.

Then I went down some steps somewhere, near a dock and some water, feeling really worthless and bad about myself. No where to live, really down and out. There was this Asian fellow at the bottom of the steps who was dressed in somewhat of a funny way, maybe as a clown or a mime, but not exactly. He was praising me for something I had done way in the past. I tried to think of what it was, and concluded he either had me mistaken for someone else, or it was something in college, back when I was more active in my waking life. He looked me in the eyes in a way that was memorable. He was trying to come up with a way to repay me. It gave me a good boost because I felt very down and out at the time.

Just then, a woman in a white shirt, with brown hair, walked by, asking for help. She kept asking for help as she walked by us, but did not stop walking. I wanted to help her, but I also didn't want to leave the guy I was talking with, because I was going to find out this good deed I had done. The woman must have been on some kind of auto pilot because she walked straight for the dock and fell right into the water, sinking immediately. I decided that the guy would be there later, and went in the water to rescue her.

I ran to the dock and dived down into the water without much hesitation. A few other people did, too. The first time I came up for air, another guy dove into the water who looked like he would save her because he was in better shape. But I went back under the water after a big deep breath, thinking I might need to open my eyes to see underneath the murky green water. (In waking life, there is no way i would open my eyes under that water, much less swim in it!). I forgot what happened to the woman who had gone underwater, if she had been rescued after all, or what.

But I moved on from that scene and went back to the stair well to talk to the Asian fellow. To my dismay, he was nowhere to be found. I knew I shouldn't have left him.

Okay so I forgot some more parts, but then, there was a part when I was seeing a guy in a dorm playing video games. The story was that he was a woman's partner but he was being selfish.

Then, the "dream screen" showed me four women sitting together and eating donuts at a food court table. Another woman came by and the "dream screen" showed all this glitter going all over the place as she joined them. One woman at the head of the table had two donuts, and one was for this guy back in the dorm the dream screen has just showed me. She ways saying how she got an extra donut for him so as not to be selfish. The women went on talking. (Note to self #2*. )

Then the woman all the way to the right hand side, who had joined last, seemed to have her attention drawn to the side. The "dream screen" briefly showed all these pool floats at the end of a hallway leaning up against a rail. Then, it returned to showing the woman, looking concerned.

She got up to see what was over there in the directions she had been looking. Then, I was kind of seeing the dream from a first person perspective from her viewpoint, or just behind her, but I was more just watching from outside like on a "dream screen", not really in it as an active participant.

This next part got really nightmarish. The woman noticed that there was a photo booth with the door partly open, down some steps. I could hear her thinking, "Who is in there?" and she approached the reddish brown photo booth door to investigate. When she got close enough, the "dream screen" revealed some really creepy old guy in there. Before the woman could pull away, she got sucked in to the photo booth. It was really freaky because the man became a kind of spider and the dream showed the woman very vividly being tied up like in a spider web. She was screaming for help. I was glad she could yell for help because someone near by definitely heard her, and would come to her rescue. But the dream showed this pointy, sharp looking giant spider with a big stabber thing on its abdomen go to poke her, like how Shelob injected people in the Lord of the Rings series. It was really freaky and I don't know how that suddenly got in there.

I woke up from that, kind of startled, stayed still, and thought it through. I wondered if I was supposed to become lucid in another dream to go back and help her, but my dreams usually don't have that level of continuity, at least in terms of form. There is some continuity but it is not that direct.

At some point during that dream, or a later or earlier dream, there was this idea of these people who had some dogs. The dogs had a special place in their house, like a room that was just for them. I was reading some text which talked about the dogs being named "Burr", as in, the sound you make when it is cold. There was also another memorable word on the page which I forgot. So I just threw that detail in here because I forgot other parts.

As I was recalling those, I fell asleep again and had a shorter round of dreams! Luckily, my memory of them held up pretty well. I must have needed the rest because I even napped this morning for an hour.

There was one dream memory, not sure exactly where it fits, but I was in a grocery store aisle. There was a black gel pen section and I took one of the black gel pens out of the packaging to steal it. I had it in my pocket and was justifying my actions in my mind because of how many rotten apples the grocery store has sold me, that I haven't got a refund for. At least ten dollars I spent on apples that looked fine on the outside, but turned out to be rotten. Good thing I dice them before eating them because I would hate to bite into that, not knowing what it was like on the inside. (I have wondered about the symbolism of this. )

I was checking out some regular items at the register, worried that the gel pen somehow had some sensor attached to it, and they would detect me with it on the way out. I tried to tell myself that wasn't likely to have a sensor just on one pen. I also remember thinking someone might have seen me through a camera and they were waiting to "capture" me on the way out of the store. (I guess this is my dream reminding me that stealing isn't the way to go in terms of having justice about my rotten apples. )

Okay so then there were some more dream details. Kind of a scene of looking into the hatch back of this Subaru, near the woods on the side of the road. It was like a camp site. I was trying to write in one of the notches on the plastic flooring of the trunk. Some letters using a pen. Maybe trying to dream journal.

There was some idea of someone stealing another person's prompting? Like what they were going to say.

There was this yellow football headed thing with funny googly cartoon eyes. I was looking at it in the trunk as I overheard people talking.

I was peeing in a big orange jug in the middle of the parking lot, near a walk way, and another guy saw me doing this. I was afraid I would get in trouble. The idea was that the guy never lets anyone get away with anything. My friend's dad, J S, was involved in the dream scene.

There was this part where an older man was yelling at a younger man, "Are you a lawyer?!" and the younger man replied, "No, I will never be one," as if to say he should stay out of situations or something like that. While hearing this, I was ripping a little perforated edge off a piece of white paper to use it to write on. Maybe I was trying to dream journal.

There was also a part with a lucid, dreaming You Tuber showing a video of how to modify the wiring of a head set to get a certain two channel sound effect. It involed opening the head set, separating the two wires, and then bending it over itself with tape. It didn't make sense to me. Apparently it only worked temporarily but then it caused the head set to be broken.

Other dream notes included "something with a guys website" and "parked near nature".

This was a huge amount of dream memory to keep all in my head at once before coming to write it, but I was just too tired. When I finally do get up to write, it is when I feel I have the physical energy. Like when my body will let me. If I try to push it, and interrupt the natural sleep phases too much, it tends to back fire and I will burn out. So I do it this way to keep it sustainable. Also it gives me a few natural W B T B's a night without needing any alarm clocks. I think alarms are bad because they might come in at the wrong time of a sleep cycle. My sleep cycles are never this cookie cutter 90 minute thing. I am in the "anti alarm clock" party of the lucid, dreaming world.



Round 3 of dreams gave me a cool dream chain. That just means I woke up between dreams a few times in sleep paralysis, stayed still, and went directly into the next dream with lucid awareness. It usually happens if I get lucid in an early part of a dream, and wake up, and stay still.

I forgot parts of it, but overall my memory of it turned out to be pretty good. Where my memory begins, Megatron and Waspinator are on the "dream screen". Waspinator was in robot mode and flying around the beast wars world. Megatron was using one of those statis pods to teleport something to Waspinator.

There might have been a part with my sister. I was fighting with someone. maybe there was more beast wars battling, or I was a beast wars character. I am not sure if I was lucidly aware yet. I remember being maybe a foot tall, and riding this little motorcycle thing, or perhaps being in beast wars mode where they are part vehicle, part animal, and making a Bee Line for a closing wooden door. I thought I would make it, but the door closed just as i got to it. I was running away from something or someone. Somehow I got into that door or maybe another door. I had a sense of being chased. Now i was in a human body, with clothes on. I looked underneath a metal storage cabinet and thought my best bet to remain safe would be to morph into an ant, or something else small, and go under that cabinet. I think I morphed into an ant and had to crawl out of my human clothes to get away. I was in a little office, and the people chasing me had caught up with me. But I had already morphed. There was a woman who came in the little office room to look for me, and she started patting parts of me that were floating around. I realized I must have morphed into a plant. Somehow, she knew that I had morphed into a plant, and she had caught me as such. (note to self #3*. ) She tried to coax me out of plant form and at this point I am sure I knew it was a dream. I woke up for a moment before another dream began.

Okay so then the next part was of me sitting in front of a television. (Note to self #4*. ) I had a great success with ree cognizing a dream sign, which was that I had an extra finger growing from my body. At first, I thought, oh, cool, an extra finger. Then I realized it was a dream! I played around with stretching my body as if it were elastic because that's what I thought to do. Then, I remember a part in which there was like this kid and his Mom yelling at him from a ramp. She was getting spit everywhere as she yelled, which was getting onto him and maybe on an open wound.

There was also a part with the red eye. I felt a pain in my left eye. I knew I was dreaming, so I figured this related to some kind of physical condition. I wanted to ignore it at first, but I remembered that in lucid, dreaming I want to deal with my issues instead of running. So I looked in a mirror looked more closely. It had a lot of sharp pain. It was covered over with red scabs and all bruised and puffy. I almost couldn't believe it was my eye. I thought of using a little energy ball like I heard in the audio book I was listening to the previous day. I didn't really have enough coordination to do that. But I was able to ask the dream for help and as I looked in the mirror, my eye returned to normal.

(Commentary from when I woke up as to waking life effects of this. I was sleeping on my left side, so it could have been some pressure was on my left eye. Other than that, I have no existing left eye problems. Both my eyes in waking life have always been fine. But I do have a left ear problem from using ear plugs a really long time without taking them out (foam ear plugs). There is a sharp pain in my ear if I put the ear plug in too far. So maybe that pain was translating into the whole left side of my face in the dream, and I was able to address it from there, where as something in my ear wouldn't have been visible to me. I will keep an "eye out" for if I notice any decrease in symptoms of left ear pain. Other than that it could have just been more symbolic in a broader sense. But it felt significant. )

At one point I was hiding under a blanket from someone. I might have gone in and out of being lucidly aware.

Then the "dream screen" played an awkward scene between a mother and her son. There was an awkward silence, and then the mother made a fart joke. The son wasn't amused and seemed kind of annoyed by the whole thing.

Some other stuff was likely to have happened that I forgot.

I next remember a dream begin where I am looking at a guy's chest in a sweater. It looks like he is bench pressing. Then I realize he is rowing a row boat and I am sitting accross from him. We are facing each other in a row boat. The water comes to an end and we scrape up on shore. The shore is actually made of the same material the street is made of. I kind of worry the bottom of the boat will be ruined. Then we continue rowing down the street as if the road is water. We go down a hill like this and get to a parking garage thing or something like a food tent at a carnival. Then I see both rowers get out of the boat and I am neither of them.

I excitedly think to myself "this is a dream" as I approach the food table, trying to make sure to stay lucid. I almost tell two people near me it is a dream but I hold back. there is a plastic container of grey circles that doesn't seem like food. Some stuff happens and I am looking for something cool to do. I get the sense that there is this green juice that everyone really wants. In a near by fridge, behind a counter, I notice a bottle which has some of the juice in it. The label has the number sixty on it but besides that, I forget the name. I fly over to that fridge, reach accross the counter, and drink the last of the juice. It is very sweet. It feels very good to drink it. There is a younger kid who seems sad that I got the rest. I feel kind of bad for not thinking to share it with him. I was in a pleasure seeking mode for a lot of the rest of this dream. But I think even that is a beneficial use of lucid, dreaming, because I can get out my desires for physical gratification in the dream world, and not need to do it in waking life, where for example careless eating could make me very sick. Being able to enjoy dream food helps me stay on a healthy meal plan in waking life without needing to have "cheat days".

In the next fridge to the left, there is a flattened everything bagel. I grab it, expecting it to taste like card board, and it kind of does. It doesn't stay stuck in my mouth though like I expect. Then I see some plastic containers with fruit and a pastry thing, like a muffin. I eat those and it is delicious. As I eat the food, I am mindlessly flying around, like a drunken bumble bee. I can tell I am sort of "food drunk" or "sugar drunk" within the dream but I just try to let go of worry and enjoy the sensory experience.

There is a part where I have this drawing of a three or four headed guy on gray paper. It has three frowny faces and I relate this to why I am off to the side by myself and not in the main party enjoying other peoples company. So I swipe my finger over the frowns and they become smiles. Then I go back to the party tent thing.

(Note to self #4*. )

I forgot some parts where I was walking through buildings. I might have eaten more stuff or seen some giant Pokemon cards. Just different wish fulfillment I guess. I saw a sign that said A T M and figured, this sounds fun. I went in to that lobby and almost thought it wouldn't be anything, but it turned out to be a dream A T M.

The first thing I notice is a packet of ten dollar bills similar to how post it notes are stacked, sticking to the A T M. It says "ten ups" which I guess means a free ten dollar boost. I look around for buttons and it looks like there are calculator buttons on the A T M. I enter some numbers, thinking about four thousand dollars, and pretty the START button. A bunch of money pops out, mainly hundreds and twenties. There are also drawings on pieces of construction paper that come out, which are mainly blue and brown. These are equally interesting but I don't take the time to examine them. Maybe they are the real prize.

I grab the whole stack of ten ups, with little regard for anyone else in the dream world wanting them, and go out side into the street. It is dark out. I see a bunch of people I know from college. I ask them if they want the money. One kid, A B (male) says, "I want all of it!" I give a bunch to him and throw the rest around. (there were some times I considered stopping and counting the money but that seemed to take too much focus. )

Success story part. In one of the parts where I was flying around a lot of people I knew, I saw this web site where there were guys posting success stories about various things. I had been seeing people from college, and so I was thinking of posting my success story of how I talked to people from college in my dream. i was thinking of telling them in waking life how I was with them in a dream and that being a success story. The page has white back ground and blue hyperlinks.

In the final part of this dream, I am walking down the street or hall way. All along the sides are giant Pokemon cards. There is Machamp and other Pokemon. I feel totally amazed and happy. I am telling other dream figures how I always wanted these Pokemon cards! A lot of them really look like Pokemon cards in waking life. One is grey and silver and there might be a purplish Gengar one. I am so overwhelmed that I don't really know how to take it all in.

Around that part, I woke up, and thanks to my new sleeping position, I was able to stay perfectly still. It seemed like a minute went by before I thought to recall dreams, because I was kind of preparing for another dream to begin in the dream chain. When i realized it was over, I was like, oh, no, let's get to remembering it! Luckily, I was able to remember a lot, but I wonder what else I would have remembered if I would have had that recall begin as soon as the dream ended. Waking life recall meditation has helped me with that memory "muscle". If I can pull up one detail, others start to come up, and then I have a whole big "movie" of the dream in my head I can rehearse a few times until nothing else comes up as I do it.

At some points during the sleep paralysis between dreams in the dream chain, I heard some auditory hallucinations of female voices saying various things which I forgot. I also felt some of those vibrational state feelings which felt kind of like intense pulses of my whole body, but were probably in my non physical body. Then I would "pop" into another dream.

I am pretty happy with this lucid, dream chain. I probably am somewehere between "fully lucid" and "semi lucid" for most of it according to the lucidity spectrum in terms of having all these dream abilities and stuff. But I mainly just enjoy the "lucid euphoria" of being like, woah, I am in a dream! And doing stuff. That's good enough for me and I figure the higher levels of lucidity will come with experience and study over time.





Round 4 of dreams.

I managed to get back to sleep one more time after those, which is wonderful. I didn't seem to have as many dreams or remember as many but once I noticed I had slept I tried to think back through them and here's what I got.

I remember seeing "Maharishi University of Management" written somewhere. It was something to do with M U M and Lucid, Dreaming.

There was another scene I only vaguely remember, to do with my Nana's steps going up to the dining room.

The last scene I remember was I was driving this truck and listening to a voice recording of my own voice. I needed to go to the bathroom so I pulled into this parking lot near a convinience store. When I got out of my truck, I noticed I had parked over the edge of the spot, and kind of double parked into the spot ahead of that. There was a guy near the front of the convinience store I didn't really trust, and it seemed the lights were just turned off. The whole time, there was some angelic kind of music playing in the back ground. I realized I wasn't in a good neighborhood and went back to my truck, thinking I might just go pee in the parking lot between the trucks, hoping no one saw me.

There was something else in the dream involving being out at night without much lighting.

I thought through these dreams and drifted back to sleep a little. That's what I like about laying down and thinking through the dreams without moving instead of needing to spring up immediately once I have woken up. It usually works just as well, in terms of the quantity of details I remember, (if not better), but it is more restful.

I'm somewhere at some kind of event, it's 11PM. I remembered I had to return my rental car, but it was already too late (it was my own car, though). I had to leave ASAP. I packed my backpack with my laptop & other stuff, and drove off in a hurry.

I was smacking some bad guys/humanoid monsters using a bag (?). I was trying to keep them stunlocked so they couldn't counterattack. I was trying to protect my allies, who were following me.

Then, I was attacked by loads of beheaded kamikazes (enemy from Serious Sam). I shot at them with double revolvers, but they all hit me anyway. I somehow survived. I'd visited the 'Seriously' forums the night before. It's a fan site for the Serious Sam franchise. That explains that...

In another scene, I was besieged by a lifeform that could assimilate and possess inanimate matter. I cargo shit, 'taken over' by the strange slimy lifeform (attached to the hull) rose up to the sky, standing on its rear end somehow. I fired on it, hoping to kill the creature, but it fell on top of me and crushed me.

I had been lured onto a rusty derelict cargo ship, where I was confronted by Satan (who looked mostly human). He suggested I should just 'turn myself in'. Then two really hot women appeared, his henchwomen, who I think were assassins who were supposed to kill me (I think). I ended up accidentally seducing them (played with her belly ring at some point) and almost having a threesome. One of them was a Twi'lek, the other was human.

Then there was a scene in a graveyard. I opened some kind of 'gate' or fence. This was the last dream/hallucination before waking.

I was being hunted by a mob of angry people, like an inquisition. There was another guy also being hunted, and the mob seemed to want him more. We ran off out of a town, into a forest. I hid in the brush, while most of my pursuers went after the other guy, who just kept running. But three guys of the inquisition at the back of the pack spotted me. I think I climbed a vine hanging from a tree. I stupidly swung back and forth while the three men below men looked at me, confused. This is where the dream went on a tangent and got a little dirty. I came down and saw two young women by a building in the distance. They were talking. As I approached, one of them walked away, leaving just the cute blonde. She was way out of my league, but I knew this wasn't real without being lucid. Kind of knowing this is a dream and I can do whatever I please, I walked over to her and kissed her. She wasn't really having it at first, but as I kept going she got more into it. Characters' reactions in dreams are mostly based on our own feelings, so I guess that's why she was reluctant at first (I'm awkward when approaching people) and got into it as I got more turned on myself. We ended up trying to have sex, but I felt the dream was about to end, and it did. Right before it could get really interesting.

All I remember was being in a building, and fighting a video game 'boss'. The whole setting was 100% realistic, not all all like a game, but I could retry the fight as often as I wanted. The boss was just a person, but taller and very strong. Conventional weapons didn't seem to hurt him very much. I had this bomb, it looked like a German stick grenade from the second World War, but it had multiple explosives. I say 'bomb' and not 'grenade' because this thing was utterly devastating. I think I put the grenade in his backpack (or somehow attached it to his back) while distracting him. Then I ran away very fast. The explosion pretty much vaporized the large, multi-storey building. I assumed this killed the boss. I tried that fight a few more times. At some point, the explosion happened underground. I ran outdoors, yelling to people to flee as fast as they could, as the blast radius was easily a kilometer. We were on the street when the bomb went off. The ground literally started cracking open, releasing hot gas from the explosion. Someone yelled at people to avoid the cracks.

Morning of February 15, 2017. Wednesday.



I am with Zsuzsanna in Cubitis. We are mostly watching the nighttime sky and standing near Highway Seventeen at first. The stars are beautiful. There are no other people around.

At one point, there is a large sparse group of what I first take to be stars. It turns out that they are UFOs that move northeasterly across the sky (above the western horizon), almost like equidistant dust motes. As I watch, there is one larger object amidst the others that moves to the front of the group. It is white and glowing. It goes through two transformations; an overhead view of the Starship Enterprise (original design) and a white silhouette of a man (as big as the previous Enterprise image) with his arms out (perpendicular to his body). This feature moves erratically ahead of the group as if moving through an invisible maze, with a comedic sense. There is a typical factor of liminal dream control here, as I am very vaguely aware my expectations are influencing the UFOs somehow, but it is not enough to cause me to question my level of consciousness, even though it relates to my most common form of autosymbolism - vestibular system correlation that is additionally validated by the “body as vehicle” dream state association where the spaceship becomes the figure of a man. (Also, it is curious that I witness both the Enterprise and flying man from the top, which, from my viewpoint, would imply “they” are flying sideways, though this is a result of sleeping on my left side in the same orientation as the flying “man”.)

My dream shifts and I am in my Cubitis bedroom. I still seem to be watching the entire sky, though there is a strange bilocated distortion (as if my view is from indoors and outdoors at the same time - a very common dream state ambiguity caused by the liminal awareness of my physical body being in bed). The stars appear somewhat dim even though there are dense clusters. Ambiguity, caused by a shift in the level of unconsciousness, seems to be that I am looking at cheap wallpaper with a sketchy outer space design on it (which is also a result of liminal space autosymbolism, a wall being the implied barrier between dream self identity and conscious self identity, thus this dream is a unique form of combined autosymbolism of liminal space awareness with vestibular system correlation). The wallpaper at least covers the west area of the room (where there were otherwise large windows) and at least part of the south area.

---

I’m walking out on my deck
I start walking down the steps
But my eyes wouldn’t open completely
I see spider webs
I walk through one
Near the bottom I see whispy webs
Then I had a moment where I was out of my timeline
I thought about those floating webs that float through the air
Those thoughts became a reality
And they had landed on the steps and grass
I say i was out of time because they were suddenly just there
Then my eyes decided to close completely
I didn’t want to see if there were spiders 🕷
I ran across the grass towards the bottom of my garden
But I thought perhaps I had gotten off track?
I believed I was heading towards the Cherry tree
I managed to open my eyes a little
I see branches and twigs
I can’t stop myself from going into the tree
I feel nothing though
I’m so close, that it shocks me awake

I had this dream during an afternoon nap. I’m trying to work out what it could mean. I’m waking life I am petrified of spiders, even though I didn’t actually see one in my dream, just white floating webs landing on the stairs and grass.

1) A game was going on where we had to find something. There was a guy bothering me though. As soon as I got away I uncovered something and transformed into a character with a glittery yellow/bone white top hat/bunny ears, long staff and suit.

2) I recall a point where I became lucid and was looking around a alley but it didn't last long.