non-lucid

I haven't posted in a long time because of work.

I'm at my great-uncle's house when my grandfather shows up. We're hanging out and I'm feeling quite happy that he is visiting me. Suddenly, I say to him, "Hey, grandpa, why are you here? You're dead."
He casually replies, "'They' said I come back down here for a while."
...Who is 'they'?
Later, I'm trying to make him something to eat, but he tells me that it's time for him to go. The moment he leaves, I wake up and the dream is forgotten until it comes back in a flash hours later.

I do believe my grandfather visited me. Besides the fact that we were at his brother's house, something about the dream was...different. It was similar to the way my dream with my great-grandpa was--he leaves, I immediately wake up, and the dream comes back in a flash hours later.

I was standing on a small street. The street reminded me of a small European town center, two to three story merchant shops lined the street, rising up along side of me. LL met me and asked me to go over to his house that was a few blocks away.

LL and I were sitting on a couch, watching something on television. He kept moving closer to me, to which I would move away. LL was making me nervous. I kept getting the impression that he want to have sex with me. I remember thinking "Dude... I'm not gay!" in my mind and somehow I thought it was getting through to him.

The odd thing is that LL isn't gay in RL, yet somehow this manifested in this way in the dream making me uncomfortable.

LL told me that he wanted me to meet one of his friends and we left his place and walked up the street. After a few blocks, we arrived as a modern looking house. It looked like it was nearly finished being constructed. We went into the house and met some woman. LL excused himself and the lady began showing me around the house. Some of the rooms were finished, some were not. We walked upstairs and into the master bedroom. There was a walkin closet that led to the attic. She left me alone in the closet, telling me she need to check on something. I was walking between the attic, the closet and the master bedroom.

In the bedroom, I saw a wooden desk. On the desk were some papers and a pamphlet. Curious, I picked up the pamphlet and it was for people suffering from chocolate addiction. It looked like it was advertising a rehab clinic for people that suffered from the addiction. Most of the pamphlet was in English, but when I turned it over, it looked like the back sheet was in Dutch.

The woman returned to the room to find me looking at the pamphlet. I put it down as soon as I realized that she had returned, but she did see me looking at it. A look of horrified embarrassment fell over her face, she walked over to the bed and laid down on it with her hands over her face. I laid on the bed next to her trying to console her. I told her that I didn't mean to go through her stuff and that I was sorry. I told her not to be embarrassed because I knew. She looked at me and kind of half smiled at me.

She stood up and asked me to follow her. Heading to the kitchen, she gave me a glass of water. She was talking to me, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I felt really confused and frustrated that I just didn't understand. She pointed out the window at a boat that was sitting at the dock, which suddenly I could now see. Then I heard her say, clearly, LL wanted to take me out on his boat and we needed to go meet him there. She put on a jacket, she grabbed my hand and lead me out the door.

I was wandering an empty city, there were skyscrapers all around me. I heard/felt the presence of someone. at first I thought it was Meta Knight, but they disappeared into an alleyway before I could know for sure. I followed them.

When I emerged on the other side, I was shocked to see a hulking tower of a person that looked like a cross between Zangief from street fighter, and Berserker from fate/stay knight, holding a giant two-handed sword. I was worried I wouldn't be able to beat him, but I drew a sword anyway. It was a longsword with a steel tip and a blue serrated blade. I only saw the blade part and did not examine the guard or grip.

I charged as he held his ground, but The moment we were about to clash, something changed in him. He doubled over, seemingly in pain. I stopped my charge, He seemed to be having a heart attack. I opened a main menu screen that took up my entire vision, frantically looking for a hospital button, after going through several menus, I found it and teleported us both to the nearest hospital. I laid him on an in-patient bed and called for a doctor, no one heard me. I realized we were still in the deserted town, and there was no one staffing the hospital. I woke up soon after.

-My first dream I can't recall had my sister in it. Either in reality or in the dream I thought "man she's in aaaaaaaall of my dreams. That's crazy!"

Second dream:
I'm doing some stuff I can't currently remember. Walking somewhere. I think I'm in some sort of school. I talk to The Cup about classes and look at my notebook, then his. I sit down. (There's something with a car). My current roomie sits next to me. The Cup I believe is to my right and the roomie to my left. He says something to me? Then says something to my other roomie across the room in a different language. The professor is a woman who claims she has photographic memory. She walks in between the desks and nearby me. I think about how long she's able to remember any given image or sequence of events, but don't ask her. I recall reading someone who said they forget after 2 weeks. I'm worried about her memory, because this means she'll remember if I'm ever goofin off in class. She has curly red hair and freckles, but she's bald on the top of her head. I'm thinking of having sex with her. Eventually, she asks if anyone has some sort of paper. The Cup has it, but I don't think I do? I take out some sort of graph paper which will apparently do the trick. The Cup was the only person who said he had it, and she asks the class if really only one person had the paper, implying more people had it but didn't say anything.

-I'm with dad and I think I'm driving in the rain. I see another car pulled over and ask them if they need a jump. They say they do (I think this is a woman). My dad and I get out and open up some part of their car. We look inside, and it's like we're looking inside a closet. I have a multimeter and my Dad has something. I see the battery holders and I think we're rearranging the batteries, which are just AA. I'm confused about how I should put the leads of the multimeter, and my dad tells me where to put black and red. I go ah that makes sense and put the leads where he directs. I'm embarrassed that I didn't know what to do. Later, I'm walking up some stairs in the back of some building. I think I look at a picture on the wall and somehow remark that the person affiliated with the picture is admirable.

Date:19th of june.
Total sleep:7-ish hours.
Daytime Techniques: RC's, awareness, mantras, dream yoga.
Lucid Techniques: Stabilizisation,
Recall Techniques: Dj, lie still in bed.
Fell Asleep: 00.30 AM
Dream Title: The mystery of the coins.
Dream: I remember quite a bit of this drea, but since it was so long, there are parts i do not recall. Here we go: I have no recall of the starts, but i know i was somehow granded the ability to switch places with some, just by flicking my wrist. Suddenly, i can no longer do it. I wander of into a different classroom, and a guy named Simon is about to throw some coins, that are magical, somehow. I dive after them, and i get quite a few. I go out of the school area, to the grocey store. And i buy a pack of buns. It seems the the coins have the ability to transmutate items. I bought the pack of buns to transmutate them into something. Suddenly there is a gap in my memory, and i am toilet that floats above the ground. 2 bullies lock me in the toilet, but i eventually convince them to let me out. We walk up gågata in Halden, Norway.
Awake:08.00
Vividness: 8
Awareness: 2
Length: Very long.
Emotions: Happiness, sadness, dissapointment.
Dream Signs: Magic, school, my city.


Dream Title: Stabilizisation training in a large city.
Dream: I walk down a large road, and go into some kind of hospital room with my mother, the doctor gives me ice-cream. I walk a bi farther down the main road, and i decide to take a look at my hands. I look for a second, then suddenly i almost lose control of the dream. I decide to try train my stabilizisation, and go over to a girl, grab her hand, and start running. We run by the docks, and it doesn't take long before i wake up.
Awake: 08.20
Vividness: 9
Awareness:8
Length: 5
Emotions: Happiness, feeling of success
Dream Signs: Ice-cream, small city.

Dream fragments: I am talking to one of my teachers, Bente Haug. I explain the second dream to her.
Parts of the dreams that i cant remember where happened: I flirt with a girl by switching places with her.

June 17, 2014

---

I was living in an apartment with my mom and little brother. But it wasn't my real brother. There seemed to be some sort of sickness going around that turned the body stiff until the person died, and my brother got it. We found him on the couch in the living room...

Mom was suddenly really anxious and said we had to move, like RIGHT THEN. She started packing her bags, and I went to my closet to pack my things, but there were too many things and I had to decide what to keep and what to throw out. I was getting more and more anxious because I wanted to pack up everything, but mom was already finished packing and walking out the door. I was crying and yelling, "Wait for me don't leave mom...! I'm almost done, I promise...! Don't leave, don't leave... Wait... Don't leave...!" I kept repeating those words as I tried to pack everything, but I couldn't see well because of the tears.

But mom just put her bags down by the door and came over calmly to help me finish, wiping my tears away and telling me repeatedly she wouldn't ever leave me behind. I think I was a younger child in this dream. Maybe 6 or 7 or so.

6/18/14

Last night bed 10pm - 7am (cat was throwing up), then I think I went back to bed.

DR1:

I'm working on DV, doing bunch of stuff.


DR2:

I'm in Ophelia's house. I see the living room. Nice sofa, carpet, lots of free space, everything is neat and organized. I walk up to a bookshelf and start reading the titles, since I love books.

There are trilogies and multi-logies? of Hobbit, Trolls, and similar books. I'm thinking ofc, Hobbit.

DR3:

Some riots are starting outside. I'm inside of a large building, standing right by one of the many glass door exits to the street, that looks more like a square. Lots of people there.

I don't want to get involved, so I'm packing some things with someone else. I want to get some supplies, like water and food, but this other person tells me that we ar not going far.

We get on a blue moped and get on road. There are some potholes and I'm worried I'll fall off, since for some reason I'm not sitting properly on the seat.

There is a large pothole with like a bridge of good pavement and we drive on it. It's barely wide enough for the wheel, but we make it.


DR4:

I'm in an empty building. I think we hid here from rioters or police. But police is patrolling outside on foot. They are coming closer so we hide under the table, so they can't see us from the window.

There is 3 of us under the table, all squished up. Two police, one man and one woman in some modern, cartoonish uniforms are coming closer. I can hear their slow footsteps. They must have heard us from outside and now they stopped to check it out.

One person under the table is fidgeting and I'm pounding him with fists so he stopps, so cops don't find us. When I see a shadow of a cop approaching, we all quiet down.

Oh, and I think I'm a cat-human thing. Both at the same time.

Dream Fragment:I was standing outside and I knew my sister was waiting for me in the building next to the building that I was staring at the window. The window is full of useless crap, but I see this thing that I feel I owned before, not that specific one. It was some stupid toy of pool or baseball or something, and I considered buying it again with $20, but then my sister called me from the door of the building next door, so I went with her into the building.

We're almost done with the exams and ready to focus my attention back on lucidity. Lately DR has been... well, CRAP! But I know that I just need to get through this, with or without dreaming.
I had one Dream fragment though.

1. It's quiet crowded in here.

I was in a building with lots of people, some of them talked to me but I don't remember what they told me.

I was in a classroom being led by my high school visual art teacher. She gave us a drawing assignment for our sketchbooks to complete by the end of the week. I flipped through my sketchbook and found that I had not completed the previous two drawing assignments. I felt that I couldn't even start the third assignment until I had completed the previous two so I because drawing frantically with dark pencils and charcoal.

In the first assignment I needed to draw a Christamas tree and the second assignment had something to do with an outdoor landscape. I cannot remember what the third assignment was.

In my first dream I was at my house with my brother eating brownies from boxes that were in a fridge. Than he was visited by a lady who was going to interview him for a summer youth program. She told him he knew his history well and other stuff. I didn't want to be a distraction so I left the house. But out of no where appeared a mini skeleton monster. I fought it and when i won, i went back into my house. I was shocked to see my mom laying on the floor. she told me when i was almost done with college i would develop altimeters. I asked her why she would say that and she said it was a good thing because I wont have to deal with stress or anything. After that I appeared at a school classroom where teachers were gathered. One of my old teachers from high school was reminding the teachers of a time when i told her i couldn't do a assignment cause my mom got in a car accident. I shouted out loud and said i don't recall saying that. Then when everyone left i went up to the teacher and told her. She was surprised and asked why i lied. I said i don't know maybe i was insecure at the time. I left the classroom since it was time to go and saw there were lots of people gathered around. They were going to surprise the bride and groom but they were no where to be found. so we went searching for them and ended up in a huge school again. We checked the balcony first but than i wanted to leave so i exited the door and woke up.

---

In my second dream i was at a store and there was a dc annoying me. I think i hit it in the dream and ended up turning into adventure time character Finn. When i left the scene i appeared on my bed and it was lunch time. My sister brought a pizza box and KFC chicken. It looked really good and i waited for her to call me but when i got back everyone was eating and she said she forgot about me. I went to another room so disappointed that i wanted to cry but that would be childish. I went upstairs and my sister told me to call someone for her so i took a white phone i found and saw on the screen people messaging. The message sent read "the message was sent to a boy"It also said that they were going to find me. I ignored the message than walked to a room with my mom and saw out the window a boy was trying to jump down from the little house shed in my backyard. I stuck out my tongue at the boy because i thought he was trying to rob my family. My dog max was there and i thought he would bite him. I told my mom but than i saw he was playing with my dog. After a few seconds though my dog bit his shoulder and he was bleeding. He jumped on the shed and took off his shirt. He was bleeding but healed himself quickly. When my mom saw what happened she jumped out the window, turned into the dc from the sewer dream and tried to console him. I was shocked and went outside too. I asked why he was here and another dc came out of no where and said he was my brother's friend. That my brother gave him my phone number. I was like oh, than saw he was trying to attack me. I held him tight so he couldn't move and out of no where cartoon anime characters appeared and wanted to help me fight the dc. I said okay, transformed and used a snow cube that unleashed lots of snow on the city. It was suddenly night and i flew down to the city where it was snowy and i saw Santa. People were trying to get snow out of there cars and singing how they wished for god to stop the snow season at that time. Than i woke up.

Someone had a picture of padmasambhava along with his retinue. I thought how can people not know of padmasambhava.
Then when I close to the shrine everything because clearer and vivid.

.../It has been after some activity I cannot remember, when we all get out of a place and start walking. I don't remember how, but suddenly I'm sitting on the head of a giraffe walking on the streets. We are taking it somewhere. It's a bit vertiginous to maintain balance up here. I'm some meters above the ground, although the ride is nice. We get to the place we're supposed to let this giraffe, it gently puts me back on the ground. I notice we are carrying a baby giraffe too, but a little girl picks it up and accidentally opens its stomach with the zipper of her jacket. It kills the baby and we are all upset but cannot blame the girl. I get out of the room and there's a lot of sand out there. I see some cartoon-like mouses digging holes in the sand. One of them is older, they look like Ralph and Ed from the Honey-Mousers. I get back to the place we started, it looks like a cafe restaurant, there's a horny whore there. I like her but for some reason I cannot think of having sex with her, I just eventually touch and kiss her every time I can. She's hot like hell but apparently there's something that doesn't let me thinking of doing more. Then it's time to close the store, it's a friend's store and I go home carrying a broken padlock in my hand. I see how it is broken and play with it for a while/...

* Alarm clock wakes me up

I was half awake half asleep when i decided to try a Wild but there were no visual, just darkness (since my eyes were closed ) so i decided to go directly for my experiment and ask CAN I SEE GOD and my body started to life physically slowly and haphazardly , i was going up and down with touching the ground and up to the bed and down again for a while , i asked forcefully again only to hear some strange noises. then i waked up to find out .
1- I was dreaming when i though i was half awake half asleep.
2- Although i was dreaming there was no picture .
3- I felt physically lifted but when i wake up i found out it was also part of the dream although it felt so real.
4-When i woke up i was still in a dream .
What do you classify this thing i experienced ?

pre-bedtime: Sensei's combo breaker meditation

23:52 bedtime

00:00 Wednesday 2014-06-18

04:52

+ driving on wide empty tree lined streets, seems like a tech company area, turn left at a corner, pass through some stoplights, turn into a parking garage to the left, enter to a restaurant, (inaudible, something about taking people back to there cars, "fully set command"?)

06:54

+ scenes in a fancy restaurant:

sitting on the floor in the restaurant thinking my shirt is ugly/dirty/not fancy enough, I changed into another shirt

see my old house on TV in the background of some news story, I say to my dad, "Look! There's my old house!" dad says no it's not, I look again and see the house is different: decrepit with big holes in the walls.

Sitting at a table middle-aged attractive woman (family friend) is right across from me, then I'm alone at the table with her. She says she has her own business, I look at something written on a piece of paper, and she has a chess set in her office with an ongoing game on it but none of her colleagues make moves. I say "I love to play chess". I start thinking about chess and visualizing a chess board from the side, and how chess is a battle game with not set pattern, it's an open-ended game where you continue on playing until one side checkmates the other side's king. I'm sort of flirting with this woman, we're not alone at the table but right now there is nobody else around so I'm taking this opportunity to flirt with her and maybe arrange a tryst. Then I see my mother sitting a few tables away and I tell her "why are you sitting so far away, come join us" , then I see my cousin GL across the table to my left of the chess woman, GL look bad/tired, she is blinking her eyes which look red and swollen, "oh I feel so tired" she says, I think about all the medications she could be taking. She was saying how she had to leave her daughter K's dinner party "and it's just not a party without me" she said seriously.

Now there's a man sitting across from me. I look down at my shirt and it's a dirty dark maroon t-shirt, I feel ashamed of this dirty shirt in this fine restaurant, I feel really embarrassed. I look down again and see a much more respectable striped golf shirt (I have this shirt IWL), I say how relieved I am not to be wearing that grubby shirt I saw before, and I tell the man across from me how relieved I am not to be wearing that dirty T-shirt. The man across from me is now wearing the T-shirt I was ashamed of except it wasn't dirty. I describe the shirt by saying "it looked just like the one you're wearing," then he starts to take offense, and I try to clarify that my shirt was dirty and his is not.

Leaving the restaurant in a coat check area, 2 small cute girls are smiling at me and talking to me, they ask me "why do you wear a hat?" I answer "because it makes you look taller." They ask me "Why do you wear shoes??" I answer "Because hey protect your feet." I wanted to take their picture but thought their parents wouldn't approve, the girls followed me on my way out of the restaurant and kept waving and smiling at me for a while.

On the way out, my group is meeting with some asian family, one of my party hugs the man, I shake his hand, unsure about hugging him, he reaches out his hand again as he starts to walk by (not offering a hug), and I half-grasp it quickly and awkwardly as I turn to go.

There are now 3 guys sitting behind the bar, they have a tech software start up. They say their work is "in the cloud" and they can build it every night. They say they have set their schedules really tightly and have planned it out far in advance One guy is working at a computer, a few more guys are leaning back on stools against the bar behind them and look really tired, like they've been working a long time. I feel some compassion and say "I know how you feel, buddy."

A platinum-haired woman with a black eye (like she was hit) approaches and speaks with the bar-tender. The bar is really messy full of little bits of trash. She says she had gone out with somebody, and it was surprising because he gave her a black eye.

+ Then the scene transitions and the platinum-haired woman with a black eye is now a gay man (GM1) at home, I'm DO, he's invited another gay man (GM2) to his place for a blind date. GM2 is tall, thin, very light blonde, pale, albino looking, fine/sharp features like an elf, bright eyes. GM1 is playing his favorite music and is carefully observing GM2 for his reaction to this music, and watches GM2's facial expressions. They walk around, go to GM1's bedroom, in his closet, GM1 says "if you want to f%^& me tonight you'd better do better than you are right now." When he says that his face is half visible looking out from behind some clothing hanging in the closet, one bright blue eye. GM2 says he had no intentions of that. They go on for a while about what sort of relationship they want. GM1 has lots of little things spread out on a table, knick-knacks, including something from his dad which is precious to him, he moves it to a lower shelf.

Get up to record this in the bathroom to avoid bothering wife. Try to get back to sleep, and almost on several occasions get back to sleep. Several times saw dreamlets for that vanished as I "looked at" them. Lost consciousness several times but each time movement or snoring from wife woke me back up so just got up for the day. Having a bed partner really sucks for dreaming.