side notes

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00:00 Wednesday 2013-12-18 comp #16 night #6 LD #12

01:37 bedtime. Exercised late, had to do late shopping afterwards, ate very late, sat around digesting until after good bedtime.

05:47 a long dream about something.....just couldn't get it! Only two really really vague fragments Spent 30 minutes trying to recall, resulting in being VERY awake.

05:57

F1) there were experts and there were newbies

F2) pigeons

06:40? out of bed, into rocking chair

07:06 BTB-1. Room feels too hot, bed uncomfortable

07:15? feel no progress, not sleepy at all, a bit hungry, to kitchen for cereal

07:27 BTB-2
feel some sleepiness on tap as I get into bed, comfortable, will get to sleep I predict.

07:45? almost asleep, wife starts snoring put in earplugs.

08:00 wife up to do breakfast duty, bed to myself, let's get down to business I think.

09:25 LD #12

1) on a wide tall circular spiral slide/"staircase". I'm sliding down the staircase slowly. There are girls spaced along the railings in provocative poses. I try to slide closer to one to cuddle, but she keeps sliding away from me. I give up eventually and imagine "OK if you don't want it, fine." it's just not meant to be, I slide farther down the slide, with my hand held behind me in case my "girlfriend" wants to come to me. A moment later I feel a hand in mine and I smile thinking she's interested after all.

2) In a large indoor area walking with a bunch of other young guys, in like a mall. We're playing football. We're horsing around with the ball making mock football plays. We're moving farther down the hallway. At one point the play starts suddenly going in the opposite direction. I'm running along back the way we came with the guys, and I'm running through a group of cheerleaders. All of a sudden I stop dead in my tracks. I look to the left and see some cute cheerleaders. I instantly take one of them into my arms and think, "I'm dreaming." and I'm lucid immediately, quickly. The view becomes super clear and vivid and totally lifelike right away. There are a bunch of people all around. She has her arms around my shoulders but she's standing at a distance. She's looking into my eyes with an expression of amazement/shock/annoyance/confusion/what-are-you-doing? with kind of a frown. She's young and cute. In a few seconds her expression softens and she "melts" into my arms, and we're holding each other tightly and we enter into a deep passionate kiss. I keep my eyes open! I'm enjoying the kiss but I'm thinking ahead. "OK, dream goals!" I think. I feel like I have good waking life memory connection. The dream feels very stable, very solid, I feel like I can indulge for a little. I'm taking in the surroudings around me, and I notice that a second cheerleader is standing directly behind "my" girl. Girl #2 is looking directly at me with a very mischievous "hey baby" expression, and then flashes her eyebrows at me 2-3 times comicly/suggestively, like she's saying "I'm next! Let's have some fun" I want to get to competition goals but here I am in a passionate embrace with a super cute cheerleader. It's interesting I note that the girl I'm still kissing is "fuzzy" and "out of focus" in my "peripheral vision" while I'm looking at girl #2 and around the mall. "OK," I think to myself, planning out my actions, "open eyed kiss with this one, then an open eyed kiss with you [#2], then..." ... and I'm awake in bed. ARGH! Total lucid elapsed time, ~15-20 seconds.

Decsion: Cheerleader. Competition points. CHEERLEADER. OK that's settled, easy decision .

Way too excited to DEILD back in but I try anyway for maybe 30 seconds. I felt totally in command/control, confident, and the dream stable, but looing at the time of the dream it appears to be right at the end of a 90 minute sleep cycle so it may just have been "end of dream time." Or perhaps I was just getting too stimulated by all the noshing...

Really short memory of non-lucid leading up to lucidity, unusual for me...
I have a suspicion that I may have "willed" myself lucid, it did not feel like a MILD trigger or a slowly building awareness, in fact right up to the moment of lucidity the dream felt very zombie-like, just-go-with-the-flow. Maybe the first ADA/RC LD?
I have recently been using daytime mantras walking around imagining becoming lucid, e.g., "wait a minute! I'm dreaming." And "Stop! I'm dreaming!" So they may have kicked in!

Normally I do not remember dream faces well but I got a good look at girl #2's face and I think I have a slight memory of it. (No idea about #1, except I think short haired blonde). Short-medium length brunette hair. A very pleasant face, not super-model-sexy, but very nice girl-next-door, *real* girl look. More like in her 20's than teen.

Girl #2 eyebrow flash was actually really funny in retrospect.

09:38 back to sleep again. too excited. up for a bit.

11:07 trying for "nap" still feel sleepy

11:28 wife comes in, wakes me up.

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00:00 Tuesday 2013-12-17 comp #16 night #5 LD #11

00:27 bedtime

02:52

F1) using the metro as dream transportation

F2) something about a store

04:16 awake, no recall?

05:17

1) on a commuter train, sitting on a bench along the wall of the train with my back to the wall, the train track goes over a sudden abrupt quick rise/bump, and I'm thrown up out of my seat several feet, I grab on to some straps, I barely avoid flying out of the open roof of the train car. I say "oh man I should put on my seat belt." There are some other guys with me they all have their seat belts on. I imagine there would have been a news story about a man who flew out of the open roof of the train and died. Train was going pretty fast. It's dangerous to be sitting on an open roofed train without your seat belt.

Arrive at a train station, I'm trying to get from the upper platform to the lower platform where there appears to be a train leaving and I need to get down to see if it's my train or not so I can get to where I'm going, the train is about to leave. I'm standing above the roof of the platform where the train is, I hop down onto that roof, walk to the other edge of the roof and flip down to the ground very gracefully. Some women come out from ticket offices and say you can't do that you're supposed to take the shuttle bus from the top of the hill down to the bottom. I look up the hill and see this bus, but there's one problem: the bus doesn't go from the top to the bottom, only from the bottom to the top. I say that's pretty stupid.

2) With my wife going somewhere, we walk into a small cluster of very close-growing trees, there's a very small clearing in between them. We have a huge pile of skis and poles with us and we drop them all on to the ground. There are red skis, and blue skis. We need to get going somewhere, so I pick up a huge pile of these skis and poles into my arms, I get one of the red ones, and one of the blue ones, my wife will get the rest, I take them outside and lean them up against a fence. My wife brings hers out and leans them up together. It turns out this fence is the entrance to a restaurant and they're annoyed about our stuff being there I tell them we'll be moving it soon.

3) I'm in an open restaurant / bar playing a video game. It is a two-person game table where you sit down on opposite sides of the table to play. The game surface screen is hemispherical protruding upwards. The game is like an advanced version of Pong, where each player's mallet/racket is a sphere, and the "ball" is a sphere as well, it's a 3D game, all spheres the same size. I'm playing this game solo, so I set up the opponent's racket in the middle of its goal. I'm playing, hitting the ball back with my mallet back and forth several times. There are special powers buttons you can press to make the ball to things like speed up or curve around, I use these. I think how embarrassing it would be to lose a point against my non-existent opponent. I'm playing and scoring. A guy comes up and watches me, he puts a coin down on the game to reserve the next play. I do well and keep going and get more credits, he's pissed and starts leaving, he says something. I'm mad at him but I decide to be a good guy so I leave the game for him to play. "OK I was going to play again but I'm going now." Then I turn around and flip him a double-handed bird (middle finger extended) right into his face.

I'm walking away through the tables in this area, and all of a sudden I look down and see my bag is gone! I figure it must have been lifted off of me by that annoying guy back at the game. I'm in shock, my passport's in there. I look down and see my stomach/pants and no bag is there. I walk back through the tables to get back to the video game place, there's a table where I was sitting previously with people, I see a bag slung over a chair and grab at it to take a look, it turns out it's not my bag. I find a little black boy and grab him and shake him around, I know he's the one who took my bag. I reach into my pocket and find my keys there, so I know he's given me my keys back, I think "OK I have my keys now I need my bag with my passport."

The boy walks back to a couch and I follow, he lifts the cushion off the couch I imagine my bag is hidden underneath. Then I think I should give this boy something of some value, but I don't want to give him something from my wallet. Another guy appears with me and we're talking about and presenting souvenir coins made from ancient coins like ancient Roman coins but they're obviously tourist adaptations. I show them to the boy, here's one, here's another, I see these coins. I have a toy silver matchbox jeep with no wheels, and I say "this was used in the war," the kid's happy about this.

The boy is doing all this because he wants to build a software industry in Egypt, he has a great idea about eliminating copy protection, and he wants me to write some big software to eliminate copy protection, it will be a big change to the industry.

05:26 BTB

Do some SSILD, carefully, gently, taking care to hold on to the relaxation routine feeling at the same time so as not to become too alert. After just a few cycles I feel a strong circular rocking body motion begin. I wonder if I'll be able to jump right into a WILD. The rocking subsides however, and a motionless RC shows I'm awake, so I drop the SSILD and just fall asleep.

07:42 LD #11

4) going uphill on a great river/aqueduct, about 50 yards wide, beautiful blue water at one point, the gradient is pretty steep, 30 degrees or so. I'm watching all the boats going uphill against the flow of water. I'm on a large commuting boat on the right hand side (facing uphill) since the left hand side is too shallow for such a bit boat. I see a guy in the water riding a motorcycle/boat towing a black couch. I'm amazed at this and point it out to my companions. Another guy joins him, also riding a motorcycle/boat, he's maneuvering a larger pontoon and pushing a large black net around the back of the couch-guy to pull him closer to the pontoon.

We reach the top of the hill and are back on land. Running downhill the other side. There are large obstacles we're jumping over, like huge rolled up carpets several feet high. I'm concerned there could be dead bodies inside. There's an abandoned structure on the right with low windows, a guy I'm with says he doesn't like the look of that place, that stuff could have been put there by people who are dead.

We're running down the hill and come upon about 3-4 black guys, I think when you come across people in the wild you have to position yourself like you're scarier than they are, you should brandish knives, crouch down, display these knives, and say something scary to face them down to show you're not scared of them.

F3) woman hiking in the mountains on a trail. I wonder if you can get back on the ridge trail, does it get you back? She's navigating the switchbacks on the trail

5) in a living room with two guys (they are maybe gay?) we have to go somewhere in San Francisco, I'm sitting on a couch, I don't want to go to SF, I need to get home, I say "as punishment OK let's then go to the Cliff House and have drinks." The other guys say that's a great idea. But I say "I really can't go because I'll get home late and in bad shape and my wife will kill me when she comes home because I haven't cleaned the house yet."

6) standing in the bathroom of my childhood home looking out down the hallway, it's night, the lights are on in the hallway, and there appears in the middle of the hallway a beautiful young woman, she is smiling / beaming at me, she's dressed in pajamas.

Spoiler for warning for slightly salacious content:

I invite her into the bathroom, she walks slowly, keeps smiling, I close the door behind her and I lock the door. I bring her in front of the low bathtub by the sink, and I pull her shirt off. I imagine I'll be getting undressed soon too. I kiss her chest (the middle), she tells me (voice or telepathy) "that's not where you're supposed to do that." I say "Oh, where do you do that?" She points to her lips. I say "show me what you mean." She kisses me, I kiss back, we start making out.

My eyes are closed. I'm dreaming, I realize. "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming," the kiss goes on for a few seconds more, then the dream fades to awake in bed. Tried to DEILD back in but was too awake.

It's the middle of the night, and I just woke from a very short DILD. I didn't RC, bu I realized it was a dream, moved around, and woke up,
The dream I was having, I was chasing a tiny pig, with my girlfriend. We were trying to catch it. When it suddenly grew to a full grown boar. I said, we'll lets hope you can't get injured/cuts from its fangs... My gf replied, not in a dream like this you can't. Boom lucid, boom awake...

Progress, however now I can't sleep.. But good progress non the less.
I wouldn't count this tommy lucid amount, because it was so short.

After this lucid I couldn't sleep, so I went to the fridge to get some apple juice. I actually bought the juice for the sole purpose of increasing the vividness of my dreams (I read on the forum that Apple juice will increase the vividness of your dreams). I had a bit of trouble falling asleep, but eventually I did.i had a super vivid and long non-lucid.

My dream starts out with a guy from work,p. he is following me, and after some time, he pulls a gun on me. As he stands there, I'm thinking what I should do. Before I make my decision of trying to tackle him and grabbing the gun, he goes to his knees and hands me the gun, while saying, shoot me. I grab the gun, and realizes its a soft ball gun. I tried to shoot for the lolz, but the trigger is not working.
Next thing I saw this parkour team, Team Jiyo, shooting a fighting scene at a parkour park they build themselves. (Right now I could go in detail about all of this, including the parkour park itself, and the entire dream, but I won't).
Later withe dream, I was riding my bicycle down this mountain road, leading to a big beach house. The road was made of sand, and cars were driving up and down the roads. As I reached the beach house, so did loads of other people. Everything was soooo fking vivid!! As I was about to enter the beach house with my bike. A kind girl helped me out, with lifting the front of my bike. I thought to myself, yeah ok it's only a dream. Boom!!! I was lucid. I didn't RC or anything, I just followed the flow of the dream. She let go of the bike just as I got lucid. I biked it up myself and carried it into the next room. I remember steering the bike as I do in real life. Nice feeling of lucidity! I spotted my girlfriend in the crowd of people entering the beach house. The vividness was unreal! After putting my bike down on the ground, I went to socialize with the dream characters. Boom I woke up, because of my girlfriends alarm clock.

She had forgotten to turn of her alarm, even though she don't have to get to school before 10.30...
yessss more progress! And maybe I have the apple juice to blame?! It was a short lucid, but a vivid and nice lucid! This one definitely counts! I felt like I could keep staying lucid in that dream for so much longer. 2 DILDs in a row, but no RC.
its not like I don't need to RC, I have been lucid many times before (not only the 12 times that my profile says) but the problem has always been stabilizing the dream.
I have been into lucid dreaming for about a week now, but a couple of years ago I was also trying out lucid dreaming. 2-3 years ago I tried out lucid dreaming. Back then had many lucids, but almost ALL of them were very short. And I woke up right after realizing I was dreaming. I tried all kinds of stabilization. Rubbing your hands, spinning, looking for detail. Everything made me wake up. Until I just said fuck it, and when I got lucid, I just followed the flow of the without stabilizing or anything fancy, and I was lucid for longer than ever! Best advice to noobs like me, who have trouble stabilizing is: go with the flow of the dream, no stabilizing.
I think for me, whenever I was stabilizing, I was actually breaking down the dream because I was focusing too much on the dream NOT to fade, then it fades... Go with the flow!

Side-note | Lucid

[LUCID] Grocery store task
Before bed, I was running over my known dreamsigns, telling myself that "If I see X, I'll know I'm dreaming" I don't remember how this one started, but I think there's a good chance it was the "huge room" dreamsign. After waking up, I couldn't remember anything for a few moments. Just as I thought all was lost, I got a flash of this one. I'm sure I forgot parts (like how I got lucid in the first place).

I'm in a grocery store. Some kind of event is going on at one end. I'm at the other end, getting snacks. Lots of junk food is hanging in front of me; nothing is too my back. A friend is with me, but I knew that as a DC he can't be as fast as me, because he's bound by the rules of the dream. I'm still waiting for him at the snacks, and I know that once he arrives and gets his own snacks it'll still take him a while to get back to the event. I start thinking about how I can help him. I decide that adding moving walkways to the store would be a good start, but I don't actually try it.

Now, I'm looking at the store's safe. I pick up something that would let me open it (maybe the key? I don't know), but then I decide, that I'm in a dream, so I should use my mind! I stare at the door, trying to picture the gears inside it spinning, unlocking, and opening the door. Nothing happens.

Now I'm with my family in a kind of hallway next to the windows. It's wide enough for a line of cafe tables and enough room to walk. We're sitting on the floor, looking out the window. A couple of bulky men are standing outside the window. Beyond them is the parking lot and road, and beyond the road is a steep embankment going up. My wife and I are sitting right next to each other, my right arm pressed against her left. I remember the task to close my eyes for ten seconds. I get an odd feeling of excitement, that I'll be doing something I know I shouldn't be doing, but I KNOW it'll go well. I close my eyes and start counting. I focus on the feeling of my wife against my side and on the memory of what I saw. I almost see a kind of "after image". The men's shirts particularly stand out as blobs of color. I reach 10 and open my eyes. As far as I can tell, nothing has changed. I consider trying it again, except visualizing a different scene with my eyes closed; but I don't do it.

Now I'm looking at the embankment. People are climbing up ladders to the top, but something is going wrong. They're complaining loudly about it, even though it's their own fault. (I don't know how I know they're complaining; they're across the street where I can't hear them). Eventually, some other activity has to stop because their complaining is just too much of a pain.

Now I'm walking with my third daughter on the road, just like everyone else. We're still following the rules of the road and get into the left turn lane behind a line of people.


New directions
I'm walking through a grassy field (some kind of park, I think) sending a text message to Jakkarth, telling him that I've moved to a new place. I try to give a thumbnail sketch of where it is, but I'm still not familiar with the area and I can't provide real directions. I tell him that I'll send proper directions once I get back to the house. Now I've just come down from being on a play fort. I realize that my phone isn't in my pocket and look around for it. I see it on the ground under the fort, and I realize that it fell out of my pocket somehow as I was coming down.


Lost ties
I'm walking around outside church Side-note(which looks nothing like the real one)[/COLOR] when I see JB, one of our deacons, holding a wad of ties in one hand and his cell phone in the other. He's using the cell phone to talk through the PA system, announcing that he's found some ties and that they'll be going in the trash unless they're claimed soon. He shows them to me and asks if they're mine; I take a quick look and tell him they aren't. He gives one final warning over the PA, then starts to throw them away, but I stop him. I tell him that it always annoys me that the policy is always "Claim your stuff or it goes to Good Will." I wish there were a short period during which the stuff stayed on display but where anyone who wanted it could take it. He thinks about it, then agrees with me and hands me the ties to look through again, to see if I want to keep any of them. He warns me that there's trash in the middle of the wad of ties. I see that he's been going around the property, picking up trash and wadding it all together. On closer inspection, I really don't like any of the ties and start looking for a place to throw them away.


Parking deck excitement
I'm in the passenger seat of a van driven by people I'm staying with. I don't know them very well. The father Side-note(who looks like Iron Man 3's Killian - something had reminded me of Extremis the night before)[/COLOR] is driving, and his kids are in the back. We're in a parking deck, trying to get out. The main exit is backed up, so he decides to take a "short cut". He drives over a curb, knocking over some glass jars that had been placed along it. Following this path around the deck, we reach what should have been an exit, except that it's been mostly walled off. There are still gaps around and under it where we can catch glimpses of the outside. I see tires under it and hope it's not a police car, and that if it is they won't realize what we've done. He backs up back over the curb. I see that the unblocked exit is right next to this one, and that it's currently clear. I don't think he should take it yet - if it really was a police car out side, we don't want to tip its occupants off that we were the ones who jumped the curb - but he just takes the exit. Sure enough, it was a police car, and they start following us, though their lights aren't yet on. The father starts slowly accelerating. I ask incredulously if he's planning on getting into a chase with the police, but he denies it. By this time, he's going recklessly fast around the parking lot, trying to lose the police before they actually turn their lights on. I consider bailing out of the car, but decide that would be just as dangerous as staying in.


Fragments
It's night. I see something about a ghostly apparition - some kind of advanced technology - that jumped on / through a helicopter and brought it down. An investigation is ongoing into what it was. I see a pool of some kind in front of me. An artificial animal - a cow? - is helping fill it. Suddenly, I realize that the plot to bring down the helicopter was from the artificial animals, and that it lets them fill these pools over and over, becoming rich and taking all the power as they do so.

Something in a house.

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00:00 Monday 2013-12-16 comp #16 night #4

00:30 ?? bedtime

01:47 had dreams but no recall

02:16 some a$$hats outside making a lot of noise, they left soon made it into a WBTB

04:27

F1) in a sports club lifting weights

06:09

1) there are two guys they're preparing to murder an evil criminal another man they are lawmen, but the guy they've caught murdered one of their friends so they're planning to work outside the law to construct a killing device for this guy, it's a tall pole with a huge heavy metal ball combined with a giant metal hook. The device works by immobilizing the intended victim, place the pole over them so that the ball/hook will hit their head around the top, the ball/hook falls near their head, the hook rotates out and stabs into the brain, kiling the victim. They're setting up this device, and the victim is now a teen girl not a man. She is lying down inside a box. She can't see the thing. The ball/hook comes down, the hook comes out, and kills her, but instantly her ghost/soul rises up out of her body and comes to me and I start interacting with her. She has splotchy/zombie-ish skin on her face and body, I realize this is the way her ghost will appear for the rest of eternity. I'm comforting/hugging/kissing her. She's agitated, I'm trying to convince her that she has possibilities and opportunities, for her eternal zombie career. She says she'll never be a personal trainer. I'm trying to convince her to become an actress. She was a low-class girl.

2) Very bizarre scene, there is a human-ish being "egg man" (gives me shivers just to think of it) whose mid-lower body is entirely contained within a large egg-shaped container. This being's eyes are bright red shining slits. There is a bright red shining horizontal slit centered on its forehead. Its entire purpose in life is to live within this egg chamber and to take one thing into its mouth from a bowl in front of its face, chew it, and extract a seed or something from within, and to spit out this seed into another bowl, these seeds are valuable and he sells them. He keeps chewing and spitting these seeds over and over.

F2) I'm looking for something on a large series of shelves. People are watching, things are falling down, I'm trying to pick something up, there's a trailer home afterwards.

3) I'm speaking with a famous woman (former porn star?) beautiful middle-aged woman I'm trying to convince her that she has possibilities and that she should be an actress. She should focus on "stepping up her game" to promote herself.
There's a guy with a foreign girl whom he just met, he's trying to impress her, they're talking with another guy and the first guy is trying to get the speaker to slow down so the girl will understand because she was recording the first time, so that she could appreciate the funny part of the story. He's trying to get him to tell the story again slowly and clearly.

F3) Bewitched episode. I'm the husband on the old TV show Bewitched, my wife is the pretty witch. I tell the housekeeper that our house is full of witches. so she comes prepared to work in our house with anti-witch charms. My wife is upset that I told the housekeeper ahead of time.

4) street rat. On a street at night going up and down the street (which seems to have been groomed to be resurfaced, I see grooves in the ground) on some machine with some guy, I see on one pass an old, slow black greasy rat walking down the middle of the street.
I'm trying to get my coat back from the coat-check, there are hundreds of people trying to get their coats back from the coat-check, I should have picked up my coat earlier before the crowds arrived, I move past the place where people are picking up their coats to another place and think I should return to the place I just passed.

08:28

F4) lying on bed in my younger son's room. He comes home from school, he wants me to enter the security code in some program on his computer.

5) I'm in a gathering (job fair?), I go to the edge of the room, there are packs of food there I think they're free party favors, but you have to pay it turns out, at least $10 each so I decide to pass, the packages are pretty heavy, I see then that there are also packages containing costumes like halloween costumes, they look like burlap sacks some of them, star wars based they seem to be, I think of calling my kids to see which costumes they want. To the right beyond the costumes is the cashier, there are lots of light-covered baubles there also for sale. My friend JoTy and another DC guy are there telling me to try out the toy double-sided lightsaber. The packaging looks really enticing, depicting a bright flourescent green beam, I hold the device with has a thick central handle and two touch-switches underneath some black foam, and the toy turns on, the "blades" are flickery green, not very bright, rather disappointing. I wave it around and it does not make any light saber sounds. I "bop" each of JoTy pretending slicing and the other guy with the ends of the toy. I turned it on and off twice. I thought I could use this to incubate a dream about having a light-saber (!!!!).

6) floating on a raft with college friends, I see CrLe right in front of me. I smack him on the knee playfully and say enthusiastically, "How're ya doing!?" I say "it's amazing we're already halfway through the 3rd year, it's like it just started, it's my favorite thing to do I love being in college". I say I've saved the regular non-scientific-major classes until the last semester of school, taking history and english and all those "uninteresting" classes.

7) a fast food burger stand has opened up. There are a bunch of young people working behind the counter. One of the young people there is talking to me in English promoting the food place. I'm puzzled why he's talking to me in very good English. I go up to the stand and look at the menu, burgers and deserts. I'd like to get something but I know that if I do I'll be too full.

8) on the back steps of my parents house down to the lawn, I see signs that there have been animals tramping around in the garden. On the fence to the L's house, I see what looks like deer hoof tracks in recently dug-up dirt straddling the fence between our gardens. I look up to the street (HC) and I see there a baby black bear walking around. I feel I must run into the house right away to call animal control because the mother bear may be around and that's very dangerous.

10:47

9) some sort of work marketing-promotion event is beind held outside. The marketing gals are setting up booths with lots of objects/paraphenalia in them, they collapse once and they pick everything up, I think that would suck if everything fell down again because the shelves are filled with lots of small things. There is a very desireable object there as well, the point of this whole promotion is to give these away as the big prizes, I'm thinking are these booths going to be left unguarded overnight? Maybe I can come back and steal some.

inside a restaurant, gathering food and snacks with a woman (HR woman from the above event?), I like her, we're sitting down to eat, I'm offering her the things I have: 1) a small opened plastic pack of BBQ potato chips, the chips are small and orange colored from the flavoring, it's a bad unappealing little greasy bag of chips, and 2) a larger pack of unopened white puff balls/crackers of some sort. I think I need to get a bowl to put these snacks in so they look more appealing, I go off to look for a bowl.

F5) flying high in the air, there will be an attack

10) sitting in car with wife who is on phone (I'm in passenger seat) talking about the real estate deal involving a property we share with her brother and his wife, we're selling it. From what I hear of the conversation I gather that all of our portion of the sale proceeds have been given to her sister-in-law. I exclaim, "Wait, WHAT!?" when I hear this. My wife hangs up she's annoyed with me she didn't want the person she's talking to to hear my reaction. She's on the phone describing what happened, my voice would disturb the other person. She calls the person back, I'm trying to get my wife to answer me, I repeatedly ask, "where's our money?", wife says "they gave it all to sister-in-law in compensation for the hard life she's had."

Then I'm driving in a different car with wife's sister-in-law (I'm still in passenger seat), my wife is driving in a different car. I say "where are we going?" To somewhere having to do with this real estate deal. We turn left on to a street, and we're sailing through the stop signs. I think this is a terrible idea, first of all it's dangerous, second we could get stopped and not everybody has valid driver's licenses, it'll be a problem. I think about calling wife on phone and telling her to stop at all the stop signs.

We approach a car head-on (it's parked), we swerve to avoid it, as we pass by the car a small brown/red animal (dog? fox?) emerges from underneath the parked car heading into the street, and pulls it's leg and it's tail out from under the wheel of the parked car. In a cartoon fashion, the leg/tail gets stretched long and thin while the animal keeps pullilng and pulling, then suddenly the leg/tail snaps free like a rubber band back into position on the body. Happens twice (once leg, once tail). I see a small spot on the body like blood.

We're coming up on a big gourmet food store (like a Whole Foods) where my wife wants to stop and get some cheesecake. I want to drive now. I think we could pull in to the parking lof of this store and we could switch places so I could drive. We end up not going into the parking lot, we go straight a short bit and stop. We have parked inside the middle of an indoor office. I'm thinking "oooh, sorry about that" to the office workers, we get out of the car, and I want to move it out of the way (it's right in between some desks). The car has become a child's toy push car that they can ride in. I start pushing the car around to get it out of the way, it's still really heavy like a real car. I'm rolling it around, maneuvering it around a corner to get it out, I start saying "I love small cars, they're so easy to maneuver, my first car out of college was a FF, it was a really small car, but it was great because it's so tall inside. " The office women I'm talking to say "mmm hmmm yeah OK." I keep going on "it was like a volkswagen golf/jetta but smaller, very small very easy for me to sit in."

One of the office women says to me "boy you have some chapped lips, don't you?!". I think about my lips and smack them a few times, they do feel puffy. I look at myself in a mirror and see my lips, they look like two pairs of the sponges inside womens' hair-rollers, two sponges joined for the upper lip, and two joined for the lower lip. I smack my lips and say "man those things really are chapped, aren't they?"

I went to bed late - woke up only 2 h later - and had no recall - didn´t try very hard.
Seven hours after falling asleep - I did my WBTB.
Reading through my workbooks - I found out, that the successful tries were all rather late - misleading, that I had put alarms earlier - but did the actual attempts later.
Good that I kept book with this.

I remember two dreams from before, one older fragment - and the dream, that made me lucid.
Again I had given up on WILD - with RC this time - not a FA - rolled over and fell asleep.

That dream was again situated at my old school - but I was grown up - like my friends - and we were organizing an exhibition of what we were doing now - it later changed into mainly an art/handicraft/invention show.
I was going outside on the school yard - and noticed, that I was naked - two attractive young beaus close - after a short shame reaction and flight reflex - I suddenly realized that noo way I would be naked there!!

Copy-Paste from TOTM:

Originally Posted by StephL

Soo happy - 7 days nothing - and now I even managed a task!
Also the "harder" basic one.



Bit weird - I had be-mantra-ed and visualized and so on - my most frequent dream-signs in the day - and also put intent on all but that task.
What made me lucid, was ironically one of my dream-signs, which I hadn´t worked on: being naked in public.
I thought - noo way would I be naked here - bam!

Was obvious - needed no RCing - buut: I did the hand-looking again - and first I thought - wow - they are perfect from the get-go - no need for staring them sharp - but when I counted fingers - I had one more on the right hand!
Now I´m not sure, if it was because I expected it or not - but it was an interesting sight.

And then - an attractive guy, who was standing there with a friend - came up to me - hugged me, lifted me and started swirling me around.
That´s when I closed my eyes - spontaneously - and remembered the task - and kept them closed and counted.
All the while being hugged and swirled, which felt wonderful.
And when I opened them - he put me down - and there was still the dream - so I guess it counts - even if I woke up maybe only some seconds afterwards..?
This eye-closing can be great, if you have something to feel!!


Soo happy, it started working again!!

Earlier Dream 1:

Again a journey with a bus (not that I would have ever done a lot of these - in school/in my youth latest).
Me and a group of maybe ten more people were staying at hotel, which was almost empty - and had for some reason two staircases next to each other - some weird spatial relations - can´t really it picture any more - only a bit.
We had been staying there - but in far apart rooms - and most of these rooms didn´t even have furniture besides a mattress and some junk - but there was a breakfast room, where we met up - all a bit over plush and baroque-style there - lots of velvet and diamond-knurling (looked it up..).
When the bus was about to depart - I had to use the toilet super-urgently - and hunted through this building for a facility. Finally decided on an unorthodox one - and got caught of course.
But I managed to keep her from telling somebody else and making stress.
Then of course - the bus was gone - but I found it after some back and forth around the corner.
And we departed - home actually it was to.

Earlier Dream 2:

I had to lead a discussion and brainstorming group - and nobody wanted to contribute - and it was not on me, to do it myself.
So I thought, how I could lure them out.
I tried to plant some ideas, but making them think, they would be theirs - and be in the mood to follow them.
This worked quite nicely - until one woman stood up and kicked up a general fuss - accusing me of this - and making it sound as if I would brain-wash people.
But then she got going, and came up with tons of ideas of the sort, that was useful.
The others only looked on - and me and her ended up in agreement.
So sad, I forgot, what it was about.

Earlier Fragment:

Doing removals again - this time not from free choice and after my will - but I had to.
Needing to find a new job.
It was stress and I felt, it was my fault how it came to pass.

The evening before going to sleep, I was at my dad's place having a GIGANTIC Christmas dinner. I ate like I never did before, and got home at around 23 o'clock. I set my alarm to 4am as usual. I didn't wake up at all the alarm, and it ended turning it totally off at around 6am because I couldn't commit to my lucid attempts, I guess because of all the foods in my stomach.. I had a great non lucids tho..

A man I know has an SUV in waking life. I dreamed his SUV was parked in our yard and I got in the driver's seat and closed the door. The engine then started up *by closing the door* and crashed into the fence and I tried to get it to stop; I succeeded at first but then I closed the door again and drove on the main road - which was nothing like it is in awake life - and kept crashing into other cars and/or walls or sides of mountains with the SUV spinning like a top on a merry-go-round. The car also accelerated fast and I wasn't able to control it well.

What does it mean when or if I drive someone else's automobile which is out of control?

Sorry if my grammar doesn't make sense I have too many lucid dreams that make me confused during waking life but anyways,.. Imagine a lucid dream technology that would help people tap into the dream world like a video game or matrix like a technology that would help induce lucid dreaming in the daytime. The technology would be like a pair of glasses that you would put on like in a 3D movie or something. You would be able to see dreams in the real world through these glasses instead of actually being lucid. It would allow users to tap into other peoples dreams while being awake like a video game. Imagine a dream technology that would fuse the game world with the dream world at the same time that would allow you to create your own dream space in waking life. Imagine being able to save dreams onto a mental memory card that can be uploaded to and from a computer like a futuristic video game dream technology that you can share online like YouTube google or even Facebook.

Imagine seeing people flying or swimming underwater in the dream realm while being awake. Instead of writing your dream journal, you could write about other dreams and save them to view later on a dream notepad. Imagine if albert Einstein had a vision about the future of dreaming, or a technology was developed because of his theory of life. Imagine Einstein creation a mathematical formula for lucid dreaming that proved all of his theories that went beyond...

12.14.13

Got up just before 9am. Nap around 2pm.

Towards the end, I'm dreaming of sleeping on a sofa and wilding. I get the head first flying sensation. When it ends, I think to myself, that I'm already in a dream and I should just get up. So I try but my left knee bumps some furniture. I decide that it's my waking body moving, and I'm not in a dream. I invoke another sensation but don't end up in a dream.

Of course, there is no furniture by my sofa, so my dream knee was bumping in a dream. That's ok, I got these 2 cool sensations, I didn't get them in a while, and I missed them.

Tonight I didn't wake up every time my alarm went off. I had about 4 dreams, and I remember 2 of them.

I didn't seem to commit totally to my DEILD attempts this night, I will try tomorrow night... However, at one point I did hallucinate a bit!! But I wasn't able to enter a dream.... Tonight is the night!! Let's hope..

This night my alarm clock auto-snoozed as it should. I woke 4 times, having 4 dream. Non of them lucid tho..

All 4 times I woke without moving, and then trying to enter my dream being lucid... However, each time I tried, I just fell asleep..
Once time, I actually tried to keep thinking "I know I'm just laying here.... Stay awake, stay awake". I fell asleep all the times tho..

The good thing is: I can fall asleep easily. I can wake up in the night without moving.

Improvement: I will have to find a way to enter the dream. Imo, DEILDs require only 3 skills/things to do. 1. Fall asleep. 2. Wake up without moving or opening your eyes. 3. ENTER the dream. Of course then you need to stay lucid stabilize and so on. But the 3 first steps are definitely the most important. It seems I have the 2 first down, now I need to enter the dream!!

What I will try tomorrow night is different techniques to enter my dream.
I will try to just form the dream environment shortly after I wake up.
I will try to "wait it out" until hc kick in, sit up,and RC. Last time I WILDed, I experienced hc, sat up, and I was lucid. Let's try to recreate that!
However, I'm more into creating the environment myself, would be more interesting. Let's see what's gonna happen tonight!

12.12.2013

Female Disintegrates Body and Runs Away from Military Base (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Spoiler for Personal Notes:

Guess the image streaming exercises I did about 50+ days ago is starting to pay off. Still going strong with becoming lucid without a WBTB, and I've been going in an out passively with image streaming naturally and easily imagining myself in other virtual experiential realities.

I guess it's clear by default that the theory behind image streaming of connecting cortical regions of the mind definitely has significant effects when you put over at least 20+ hours on it. It clears a lot of the cognitive dissonance I used to go through when trying to understand the concepts and finding applicable methods for gaining lucidity. Though this jolted up the metacognitive ability to know if you're dreaming or not by a lot, and can be improved over time if I ever get time to do more.

I should probably be realistic and not go for 3 hours every other day or every other day if I go back to image streaming. One hour a day, or even 90 minutes a day can be more than enough, it's just that there's so many things to do and learn that I end up doing the latter instead.

Anyway.

I recall existing inside of a building that seemed to have high-end technology, almost like some kind of government or private organization that associates with several political magistrates. I wasn't sure what I was doing for this dream, I just knew that I was dreaming.

The outfit I was wearing is a bit difficult to process, but based on how my dream body felt, it was probably some kind of Tac Suit you'd see in Tom Clancy games. This dream had several themes, and the most prevalent were:

• Espionage
• Military
• Anime

The atmospheric overlay of the dream environment contributed to how it was mostly a colder region for several reasons. The soldiers or guards within the dream all seemed to have a default format from the MGS2/MGS3 soldiers with the black mask covering most of their face except the eyes.

Spoiler for personal note:

With any dream that revolves around attempts at infiltration, it's probably because of my relentless desires to dive into consciousness exploration that usually ends up backfiring. I knew about this probably months or during late 2011 or early 2012, though I never gave it much thought.

It's weird how other individuals can go left and right, in and out of their minds during lucidity to use whatever imaginative potential for some application with waking life, but I seem to have difficulty with that. Even if there's some symbolic implication that I shouldn't be trying to dive into the depths of the psyche or whatever, there's really no point in all of this occurring. Either there's some kind of higher self-implication, or several good reasons why I can't really take advantage of what any sentient and sapient mind can do in their natural sleep.

The weapon that I'm holding was probably just like the default gun you get from MGS2, the American military M9 that's modified to fire tranquilizer darts. Considering how I was using that gun instead of something lethal, I guess there was some ambition to stop killing figments of my imagination, since the last time I tried doing that to try to save dream characters, it ended up biting me later on.


I see a few soldiers passively patrolling this linear area I'm at, and I quickly shoot them in the head since I was just going for Metal Gear Solid logic here. The area itself seemed to be split off with a black metal rectangular border in the middle.

And if you looked from afar, there were more guards on patrol as well, and I had to be very careful of the direction they're facing. I had several guards wondering what was occurring in the area I was in, and I had to quickly go to the other side for safety.

Fortunately they didn't go too far into investigating things and seemed to have pre-fetched sayings and declarations for whenever they're suspicious or presume the area is clear of intruders. As for the bodies of the soldiers that were passed out from the tranquilizers, it seemed I could care less about putting them in safe areas.

I figured that there wouldn't be some weird system that demanded one to store bodies, or else there would be an alarm of suspicion. The area that was about 40 feet away from me seemed to be the external section where the weather had a lot of snow on the ground, but no snowing in particular.


The dream shifts to where I'm now inside another base that has a lot more guards, and what seemed to be unarmed individuals that looked as if they're important. I found myself lying down on my stomach near a section to the left. I believe I was probably under a desk, and there were conveniently placed rectangular objects that concealed my position that were at least 9 inches in length.

Since my field of vision is limited in this position, I had to make use of my lateral peripheral vision. I saw a Black male that was wearing a milky light violet colored dress shirt and regular jeans. For some reason, he was looking down right where I was at, though I wasn't sure if he knew I was there.

He seemed to have made several glances back and forth at me and whoever he's talking to. Seeing how he didn't scream my position, he probably wanted to help me out, or he was just staring at random space to avoid the whole averting eyes awkwardness that occurs in most conversations.

Whatever the case may be, looking at his visage and how he expressed himself, he seemed to have been involved as a computer guru or something of that nature. After a while, it seems some of the individuals leave to their bases and sections, and I finally get out of the awkward position under the desk.

Unfortunately, there were still a good amount of guards around the area, and I had to time my shots in a specific pattern so one or two would hear their own men being knocked out with tranquilizer darts. Fortunately, the process was easy and I managed to take down the three guards within this room.


Then the most absurd thing occurs in this dream. There was another individual that was knocked out that was unarmed. My mental image of this person seemed to be them wearing a white dress shirt and red jeans with some pink to it.

His whole existence disintegrates, and a 3d model of a female that looks like this (it's hard finding an image of her not making lewd facial expressions):

Spoiler for ...:

I don't know what the hell was going on, and I was busy trying to process what I'm going to do if she ends up doing some weird demonic things to me. I can't really recall what happened after that though, just her running away.

_________________________

12.12.2013

Girl Doing the Limbo & Vomiting that Defies Physics (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'll keep this short and sweet, no need to be sensory descriptive of someone vomiting in a dream.


A girl that seems to be 6-8 years of age is walking in a manner as if she's setting herself up to do the limbo without a bar. Then she randomly vomits while in the limbo position, and I'm not sure if the vomit is going in my direction.


Maybe it's a sign that I'm a pile of vomit, or I'm being aware of certain false pretenses of those who I feel I could relate to. That's not really surprising, though I wonder who it is in particular the dream was trying to inform me on. And I guess the girl doing the limbo is either another symbolic implication of how that certain individual in waking life is still an enigma.

And considering I had a dream about two children dying yesterday, maybe it's probably that one individual that I feel is another confused woman that just happened to gravitate to my openness to them. Probably a sign that I should go for more stable females than the psychotic ones.

Once again I went to bed late and had get up early. I recall fragments of 2 dreams, but they were not intersesting... I missed my dream sigh tho... Sad day.

And once again I didn't wake properly from my alarm clock, because of the wrong settings... I'll do I properly tomorrow night. I'll set the alarm cock right, spot my dream sign, and do DEILD attempts at least 4-5 times. And go to bed earlier!!!!

BLACK: Regular
BLUE: Dream
RED: Notes
PURPLE: Quote (specific words I remember clearly)
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
I'm not quite sure how this dream started or ended.
Date: November 30th, 2013
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
I was in a hospital [ it looked like one I'd been in before ]. It was quiet, which made me feel very uncomfortable. It didn't seem right. A man [ He appeared to be in his early/mid 20's and had brown hair, young face, was tall, thin, and had dark eyes. He seemed very familiar ] grabbed my arm and pulled me away from where I was. He mentioned something to a woman by me [ I believe she was a nurse like figure, but I'm not sure ] about "finding all the pretty girls in the hospital and raping the f-ck out of them." [ I don't think he thought that I'd heard him. That, or he didn't care if I did or not. ] I began feeling incredibly nervous, but I hid it to the best of my ability. We passed my family [ always female members from my mother's side or my father. None of them ever noticed me, save my father. He glanced at me but said and did nothing ] two times. Some time along the way I mentioned something about "not wanting to be treated this way again." The man looked at me and we sat on some stairs [ the "nurse" woman stood off the the side. The stairs were hard stone ] and he asked me, "You've been raped before?" [ those words rang in my head over and over when I woke up ] I mentioned something about being a virgin but that I'd been sexually abused in the past [ this is true. I have been ]. He raised his eyebrow and almost seemed to feel sorry for me. I thought he'd let me go. Suddenly, he pulled me to my feel and literally dragged me to a room [ more details on the room below ] that looked like both a physical therapy facility and an x-ray/CT scan room. He had the nurse take me to a machine on the far right side of the room. I faced the closed end of it. The man said "We're making sure you won't get pregnant. STAND STILL!" I was shaking violently by this point. I was scared. He had the nurse woman spread my arms out and made me stand holding some bars on either side of me. After this, the man literally growled and tore me away from the machine. He took of my jacket [ it was red ] , leaving me in my tank top [ grey ], jeans, and socks. I noticed my dad outside the room and I told the nurse to shut the door. She did this. The man pushed me onto my back [ I landed on another machine that was on the floor. I hit my back on two bars ] and I crossed my legs over each other and put my arms over my chest. I started pleading with him. "Please, please don't!" I cried over and over [ I was literally crying ]. The man towered over me and he ripped his shirt off and started trying to take my clothes off. I kicked at him and screamed repeatedly. Eventually, I think, I got so afraid that I just woke up. The ending is blurry.
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
NOTES:
About the room-
It was on the top floor in the west side of the building. The sun was setting outside the single window which had blinds over it. The room was cold. The colors were desaturated, but there was blue and white all around me -ironically my school colors-. There were various "machines" strewn about. The door that I saw my dad out of was on the right side of the room right next to the machine I stood by. The door was a flimsy plywood sliding door that had no lock. The only light in the room came from that one window. It was dark-ish

Various notes-
I remember that I didn't scream for my dad's help because I didn't want him to see me so vulnerable. I would rather be raped than have him see me like that.

No one seemed to notice what the man was saying. The nurse never spoke or made any noise.

The man was very familiar and was rough, then gentle, then rough.

My dad looked through me when he gazed my way.

All I could think about when I woke up was the mysterious man who'd made me do something sexual (no details because I don't want to say it) when I was 5 years old.

Around the time I started to faze out from the dream, I remember that the man looked animalistic. He also started to "melt." His image literally just began to melt.

I remember my dad (after the whole ordeal, probably) saying something like "Oh I never wanted this to happen again. It's like 10 years ago."


__________________________________________________ ____________________________
If you can offer any help here, I'd appreciate it. This dream hits home in too many ways. I've had more and more dreams like this one, lately, It's as though my subconscious is trying to make me see something.