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Yesterday I went from waking to a dream in just some seconds. Or I went from a dream to another dream. I don't know. I tested out the exact same thing this night and it worked again!

I wake up in the middle of the night and do my RC (pinch my nose and try to breath). I think it doesn't work at first but suddenly I am in a big yellow courtroom with a woman judge that is slamming her hammer against the table. The last time I did this transition it was very unstable and I feel that this dream is also unstable. I look at my hands and they look really real. No extra fingers and no distortions. I am in the front desk that is about to be interrogated. I walk up and fly out of the window. There is a big city outside that reminds me of Karlskrona a lot. I see my hands as I fly and it doesn't look this real in my normal dreams. I am happy because I feel the wind against my face and my hair swining backwards as I fly. I fly up and down some times just to feel the wind. I fly up and hesitate but end up doing a loop in the air with a 360 spin to it. I feel alive and happy. Without thinking about it I stretch out only my right hand in front of me and I am able to fly really really fast when I do it. I use both of my hands and it doesn't go as fast. I think to myself that I might be able to reach space with this speed. I start to fly up to the sky with one hand in front of me like Superman but as all references to which height I am flying at disappear I can't fly anymore. I try to find a star that I can focus on but it is too far away I think to myself. I fly against the city and see a lot of people. I think about dancing and suddenly I fly into a big empty room. I think that I will be able to see dancers here but I can't see anything. I look around and find a secret door in the wall. I open it up and see two pretty fat ladies dancing. I inspect them but walk out again. There is another secret door in the empty room. I enter it and see two really good looking ladies dancing, the dream becomes unstable and I wake up.

Notes: Wohooo! This flying was so trustworthy and it was so blissful, calm and refreshing. I really wonder if it was a dream from the beginning or if I actually went directly from being awake to a full scale dream. It almost feels too good to be true.

I'm in church and two guys walk in through a door. I think to myself that they might tickle me and they change appearance as I think so. They become taller and now have black hair. I quickly try to wake myself up but I can't. I am somehow able to escape and run to the cars. I take their car and escape. It's a pretty old car and it doesn't go that fast. I see a fast cool car and walk to it to drive it. I am semi lucid here because I thought it was okay to take the car because it's only a dream. Just as I am about to enter the car another man takes it and drives away.

Notes: The tickling is awful. I hate it so much.

Dad is driving us to a training center. There is a man that welcomes us and we see a picture of a big training center. We enter and it almost looks like the picture. We jump around and enjoy ourselves.

Notes: I read about the biggest training center in Sweden yesterday.

I'm with Pia and Monica. We start to fly and we each have a kite tied to our backs. It gives a different but non the less fun flying experience. Whe you fly upwards the kite drags you backwards and wants you to loop. The same is when you fly down. I experiment with the feeling and go up and down. We see a star and Monica says that India is there. We fly fast but Pia is slowing down and is tired. We leave her behind. As we fly it becomes day and night because we fly so fast (haha that would actually mean we went around the whole earth and already passed India). I ask Monica how many days and nights we have to pass before we come to India. The whole sky is filled with lightning clouds that are grey and agressive just 2 meter above us. Monica and I fly to the ground and crouch because we don't want to get hit by lightning. The lightning clouds are maybe 10 meters above us, really close to the ground.

Notes: What an interesting dream.

I'm with dad and Stefan. We are water scootering in a big lake.

I'm running from the bad guys. I run into a house and up on the second floor. I see some furniture that I can move away and hide behind. They come too fast so I hide behind a worse hiding place. Håkanssons come in and one of the small children spots me. I tell them that I need to hide and that they should go away. When they leave I hide behind the better furniture from before.

I'm in military training and everyone are acting casually but they are fit for battle. There are girls and boys that seem young there. I walk through a corridor to have some alone time. I come to the end of the corridor and see a toilet. One of the Kristianstad boys comes to me and invites me to hang out with them. New fragment. I'm with cousin Tobbe and we sit with some other people. They talk about weapons I think.

Notes: In the dream I felt like the military training was very hard and that I wasn't fit for it.

I wake up in the middle of the night and do a RC. I don't succeed at first but think to myself that I maybe can enter a dream if I keep on doing RC until I fall asleep. After maybe 5 seconds I am able to breath through my nose even tough I pinch it. I walk to the other room. I try to open the window but I can't. My vision is unstable and the dream disappears. I wake up in my bed again.

Notes: Maybe I was in a dream from the beginning or just entered a dream. I don't actually know. I have never read about a technique were you do like this so it would be intresting if I entered a dream. I've heard about the wake up to bed technique but I think you have to go up from bed and do some other activity first.

Use not the means to gain awareness;
for the mirror only reflects that you are.
Seek not the things you wish to be;
for the mirror only reflects all that it sees.
...

STAY!
Stay! In the awareness. Notice! This time. Notice the moment of unlucidity. Not a minute later nor an hour greater. Not even a second but only the present. Be in that moment and see. Truly be and notice its happening. And embrace it. Fully grasp that elusive force of unlucidity. The cause, the source - the cause of my remorse. Oh ghost! I boast, "I shall capture thee!" I shall see you and grasp you til my everlasting lucidity.

Let it be done.

11/25/20

The laundry room was flooded, I was concerned about the clothes that were on the floor but there are too many so I resign that everything is wet again, the dream fades

Having trouble falling back asleep. I am suddenly somewhere else. In another room I do not recognize, it is afternoon. G is sitting on a futon looking at a stack of older pictures she has found, they are framed.

I lean in closer to see and there are nude photos of when she was younger in various poses, the largest frame is of two guys sitting down exposing their member, I gather these are ex boyfriends, she is giggly at the memories. I am furious. She doesn't understand why I am mad so I begin to throw the frames back at her face with force while shouting I don't want to see my best friends dick! She is bewildered and doesn't grasp my irateness.
I am back laying in bed.

What followed was quite confusing as I was phasing back and forth from my dream to my bed uncontrollably. I would be in bed and see the dimness and the low rumble of other people walking through the house, and back to that brightly lit room which was completely unrecognizable to me. While in the room the girl who was with me now looked identical to someone I used to work with. Only she knew me as someone else. I was confused every time telling her I didn't know where I was, I didn't know who she was, I've never been here before. She called me a different name and assumed I was joking or being sarcastic the entire time. The jump occurred 3 or 4 times before I was stabilized in the other place.

She was with one of her younger friends and I, recognizing her somewhat asked her name, she said Addison. This is not her name IWL, still unfamiliar with my location or how I got there. Everything felt too real and detailed to be a dream. I told her that her name was Breanna, she laughed and still thought I was joking, but I could see the concern start to appear on her face. Perhaps I was having some mental psychosis I felt her think. This is all just too real. I felt like it was wholly possible as I was in a place where nothing made sense to me but everyone around me was certain of me.

They were crawling out the second story window to sit on the roof to overlook the neighborhood as teenagers often do. I was tired of being confused and decided it was time for me to leave.

I told them I was leaving and though there was a slight protest they quickly faded from my immediacy. As I was leaving the house I now found myself in a heavily populated terminal of sorts. The clarity now fully hit me as everything was INCREDIBLY coloured and crisp in detail. Like a fine lifelike render from a video game. I could not believe my eyes. The room was large and decorated with a variety of screens and advertisements and swirling passing vehicles. It was a bustling metropolitan city center of sorts.

All the people around me had neon coloured garments and LED strip like accents, it truly felt like a cyberpunk setting only everything was clean and bright. I now noticed there were humanoid shapes as well. Perhaps they were robots, perhaps they were augmented humans I couldn't be sure. Everyone was relaxed and generally having a good time. Completely overcome by the detail of my surroundings I began to cry. It was beautiful, there was too much detail for me to focus on everything. I was awash in the emotion of finally being somewhere new, as if I always knew this was where I would end up. It was relief coupled with the bliss of newness. I felt the tears stream down my face as I smiled larger than I have in sometime.

I walked to a large walled window to my left which I knew to overlook the city and I can only describe it as planet coaster combined with Coruscant. Vast sprawling brightly coloured buildings with streamlined shapes and transit systems which resembled high-speed roller coasters. It was also overwhelming. There was too much to see, every window in the terminal had a similar vantage. I took a few deep breaths and continued to explore the terminal I was in.

I now noticed there were screens for people to buy different tickets for different rides or tours or locations I couldn't be sure. None of the writing looked familiar but I recognized a $ sign and numbers here and there. I was made aware that there was a public communal buying platform where people could list the tickets they had bought and opt to sell the ones they weren't going to use at a discounted rate to anyone else looking for the same destination. Nothing but smiles, it truly felt eutopia-like.

I ventured into a room off to the side with maybe a dozen full body wrapping chairs which would contour to your shape when you sat in them. They felt like a captains chair on a spaceship. We were all oriented generally facing a large screen in the corner of the room but could still see out the walkway to the grand terminal.

On my left arm pad where my hand comfortably rested there was a myriad of controls including a couple joysticks. Curious I began to click buttons and toggle the stick. On the large screen we were all looking at appears an overlay with games and information and I gather I am controlling a cursor on the screen. Concerned the display I pulled up accidentally was obscuring other people's experience I quickly looked around to apologise to those around me. No one batted an eye and continued tapping away at their own controls and all still watching the screen. It was then I realized that only I could see the display overlay I had pulled up because it was unique to this chair. And everyone else had their own display that they all saw on the same screen which I was unaware of. Impressed I continued to toggle and click but quickly gave up because I couldn't read any of the characters on the screen.

I began walking back through the terminal just taking in all of the details and colours. It was an amazing sight and felt so futuristic I was amazed no one noticed me out of place.

There were various humanoids intersparsed through the crowds of actual humans. I question a droid which I gather to be an informational hub of sorts. He explained this terminal is a dome of protection from the outside environment, all domes are connected with high-speed transit and entertainment junctions. There was more information conveyed but the details are lost to me. Other than the knowledge of some great existential threat. They were all hiding from a predatory extraterrestrial race which occasionally would land and take a batch of humans never to be seen again. It informed me of a breaking news of a landing occuring and authorities were being dispatched to quarantine the area.

I am fond of ETs so I decide I will follow this cue and attempt to make contact. I am now outside the dome in a sort of dark and foggy area, I see bright lights and a circular craft just beyond a large boulder in front of me to the left. As I round the large rock I glance up and am almost blinded by the lights. They shine in a sort of pulsating manner coming from the center. I hear a ruckus behind me and know these are the authorities coming to help/make things worse.

I am now in the craft surrounded by a brilliant white light, it is clean and only the corners are barely visible. I see a face in front of me which has undecipherable features. There is a metallic sheen to the lower half. It looks at me close with a tilted head as I begin on some monologue, the dream fades

I'm with Gabriel from my old school and walking home to me from Hemmakväll. I see Peter, the pingis teacher, and he is packing his car with a lot of different things. I notice that he is preparing to move and ask if I can help him. New fragment. I'm by our outer door and see their car. His whole family is also there and they are about to drive away.

Notes: When I woke up I remembered many dreams and I was happy because the night's dreams were so full with strong feelings. Gabriel and I played pingis with him and that is why they were all with me.

I am encountering some obstacles in my journey of lucid dreaming. I am starting to journal here because I can see my progress, use your guidance and writing about it in daytime will keep my mind on the topic and increase the chance of having lucid dream in the following night. Also I will analyze what I did wrong or what helped me succeed which I hope would help others.
I started to define lucid projects for myself and working on them. My first project was to see the northern lights in the north pole and it is done.

- My current projects:
Project 2: Entering a witchcraft school. Meeting wizards and witches would be fun and besides learning to do magic will boost my dream control.
Project 3: To see my imaginary friend and live a story with. (I am currently focusing on this)
Project 4: Dream TV of Alan Worsley.
Project 5: Persistent Realm.

- My current state:
I use MILD and have a lot of LDs in number but:
My LDs are rather inconsistent, in some I have good dream control and some of them don't even last more than a few minutes. It is usually periodic and recently the latter was the case . I have a cat and he has started to ruin my sleeping routine a bit recently (he wakes me up at midnight and keeps me awake for some time). Also I feel I want Project 2 too much When I want something too much in LDs, I usually fail because I take it too serious.
Now I can't stabilize well and wake up fast. Also I can't see my img friend (twice I saw him but his behavior was not like him, it was rather passive or cold). I have problem with teleporting and finding him too. Though I sometimes can teleport using spinning and schemas.
I found out when I feel determined, strong and positive I usually have a good dream control but for now I am failing to keep myself in the dream more than a minute.

I think my main problem is the nature of my view to my subconscious. I don't see her helpful or capable (Like in the case of project 3, I feel she wouldn't want to help me see him and also she might not make his face details precise enough -> though I've seen him twice before I made this my project, so I should know she can!). And I know this is everything in LD! That's why I sometimes have really good LDs, those are times that I manage to trust her.

I think I will start writing here and continue in dream journal section, I will share my progress every night that I had a lucid dream and analyze the result.
Thanks for your advice!

** P.S part read if reviewing DJ**

I originally felt sort of down. Felt like I hadn't made any progress. I decided to meditate after dwelling in that useless pit of unwelcoming feelings. And I felt better after. And feeling better made me notice more things.
4

Although there didn't seem to be active awareness improvement during the practice, I noticed that I was doing them while I wasn't practicing. I had more of those moments where I'd stop myself and just notice. And it was different from times before; because this was not forced, just happened sort of semi naturally.
3

So maybe the easy way to train awareness is to have short training sessions and that would just promote more passive awareness throughout the day.
3

Recall and stuff

I slept in short intervals again. Uncertain whether I'd dreamt. But I did have a moment of lucidity in a short dream fragment. It was very brief. Either I was tired, or it was a short REM period, or something else. What I do recall was that I was outside, and I was going through these same thought process I used during my current practice. To remember, then become present. Then I thought "dream?"
2

One question I have is that whether this lucidity is actually caused by the awareness training; or would it have happened either way? Because I'd probably have gotten lucid without doing anything at all anyways. And I suppose that was the cause of my woes - whether if any of this is futile; and would lucidity have happened naturally anyways?
4

Presently, I'd say the "gaining of awareness" process is only partially complete. It has an aspect of "remembering" and getting "present" perhaps it lacks "intent." Intent to actually lucid dream or a dream goal. But perhaps it is fine. To take it slow. I feel like it's all coming together nicely.
4

NOTE TO SELF though: That last bit of resistance, just push through. Whenever there's that negative feeling, a persisting negative feeling - MEDITATE. Get to the core of it. Face it. Instead of distracting yourself, just face it. It doesn't take long - and everything becomes so easy after.
4

Oh yeah one more thing is don't worry too much about the results right away. The results will come according to their own appointed hour. You're practicing it actively and it's beginning to show up into passive habits. You only need it to sink a little deeper into the subconscious habits for consistent results to show up.
3



Goals

-complete the awareness technique
-oh yeah remember try cutting awareness into smaller pieces for more effectiveness
-have a meaningful dream goal or remember it
**master non-attachment


awareness score:
27/90 = 30%!

** P.S. quick note, negative feelings (or event, circumstances) make me more unaware, awake or dreaming. The last few- EVERY time I lost consecutive days of lucid were exactly that; from negative feelings. It makes me blind and lose focus. So don't worry about getting lucid results right away. First get good at this "resolving" process. Because if you were to blindly aim for quick lucidity, you'd once again get distracted by something. This is the step 2. Master this step 2 so that next time you get past step 1, you'll have a smooth sailing - is it called NON-ATTACHMENT?**

Notes: I got some weird sensations where I was in between the dream realm and reality when I went to bed. It was like a movie but without color and I didn't actually see them. I think that I could enter a dream from there if I was more experienced.

I'm sleeping on the floor in a room. Mom and dad are also there.

I'm walking through a military barrack. On the other side there are some poles hanging in sideway that you can swing in. I start to do some pull ups and it is pretty tiring. I think I do about 5 and then I rest. A tall blonde guy about 20 years old comes. He runs a bit and start to spin around a pole that is really high up. He spins around for some time and do a perfect landing backwards. I try to do the same thing he did but someone runs in front of me so that I can't do it.

Notes: I got in contact with a boy yesterday that is going to do the military test with me.

11/23/20

I am with a group of people traveling, I am with an old friend who was my neighbor and we are following a van that a girl I know is driving. We follow down some dark roads and make a tricky turn into the highway, eventually we decide to stop at a motel for the night. I think we want to party but still kind of low key. As we are checking into the room I notice the adjoining room has like 15 african american young adults in it they are listening to somewhat loud music with an xbox on the TV and playing pool in the center of the room. I walk in the sliding glass door and they all stop to look at me, most of them aren't wearing shirts and I am also not wearing a shirt. I start introducing myself asking them what's up, they offer hands and I slap each of their hands going down the line saying what's up, nice to meet you, I'm Noah, what's up, what's up. They are fairly accepting and I see a kid I used to go to school with and say heey I haven't seen you in forever. I tell them he's an old friend and they are even more accepting now. I tell him we ordered some food and I would go get the pizza and come back. When I arrive back to my room there's just one girl and my other friends seem to have gone to sleep. I tell her the gist and she's down to go party with them. After I walk across the motel to pick up the food and come back I notice through sliding glass door adjoining the rooms that most all of the people are gone from the room and there's just a few older african american women sitting in the dark watching something on the tv. It is quiet and I have gathered they went to sleep. I go back to my room and tell my friend. We pull something up on the tv and get kind of tired. We lay for a while relaxing and may have dozed off for a few. I have the suspicion I may have checked the wrong room though I didn't hear anything from anywhere else. At some point I decide to walk into the next room over and it seems everyone had migrated there without me knowing. They are happy to see me again and my old friend asks me what happened, he thought I was just going to get pizza and coming back. I explained I had gone into the wrong room and assumed they had all gone to bed or left because it was quiet now. I know now it is early morning and they were just trying to be considerate. They are watching something on tv and I tell them I will be right back. I go back to my room and tell my friend of the err I have made. That they are all still over there. They just went to their other room and we are still invited. I now have a cooler to bring as well though I don't know exactly what's in it. My friend helps me carry it into the other dark room the old ladies are sleeping in, I set it on the floor next to a coffee table. I never make it back to the room with everyone else in it.

I am with my family in my childhood home, we are quickly leaving for a trip in a hurried fashion. We all load up in the camper and I gather we are going for some type of camping trip, I haven't really packed my bags or anything but there is great momentum and it almost felt like an emergency evacuation.

As we are driving I am still concerned about not having enough supplies or really any sort of preparedness for the trip. My cat is in the car but as we are turning I notice she somehow jumps out of the vehicle so I tell at my parents to stop the car. When I get out to retrieve her it is very muddy and I am surprised we can drive so effortlessly through the muck. I notice on the side of the road a super muddy truck with the owner no where to be seen. There are also a couple dogs that are fully submerged in the mud with only their sides showing. They feel like a stuck horse or elephant, I rush to free them from the weight of the mud and help them to their feet. They are winded but still living. I see the owner now who is also covered in mud but seems unconcerned both of his animals were almost dead in the mud. After resolving the situation I gather my cat and rejoin my parents in the camper and we resume our travels.

My father is driving and my mother is in the passenger seat. She is smiling and assures me they are taking me to some great surprise I will thoroughly enjoy. I ask if we are ever going back home because I don't have any clothes or supplies. My dad just cocks a sideways smile and glances at me from the corner of his eye. I guess we are moving. There are about a dozen strangers in the car now of varying ages all sitting along the edges like an indian overcrowded bus, I ask my parents about all of them and they ignore me. The situation now feels intense and almost post-apocalyptic in its hurry.

We arrive to a sort of drive-in theater which is super run down and very muddy with puddles all around. There are other families there with their campers and I gather this is where we will stay the night or at least a short time on our journey. There is a run down convenience store/shop in the center of the derelict lot.

As we are setting up the camper my pops was rushing the set up and not doing all of the steps out of over-confidence. There are braces which need to be lowered to the ground to provide stability to the camper so it doesn't rock back and forth while people step in and out. I ask if he is going to put them down and he brushes me off, insisting it is no problem and we don't really need to. The camper is rocking and swaying with every step and feels quite unstable. I tell him I will do it for him and he continues to give me excuses for why it isn't important. The ground is too muddy, it won't reach, the lug nut is rusted, it's stuck, don't worry about it. I get down and fasten the nut with a tool and hold a heavy hammer to dislodge the nut. He tries to show me how stuck it is by tapping gently while looking at me as to prove the fruitlessness of effort. I tell him to let me try and I swing a few times very swiftly and hear the crack of the nut as it loosens and the braces begin to drop. The ground is super muddy and the brace sinks a few inches but finds some stability and fixes to the ground. I stand and the camper is stable and no longer swaying.

The store in the center of the grounds is somewhat of a hellscape. It is super run down with hardly any supplies, broken glass everywhere, dim lights, and unidentified horrors attacking other people in the store. I don't know if I am attempting to shop or just get out, but it is night time. I am crawling on the ground and notice many shards of different colours as a crawl on top of them. Something is coming towards me but I can't identify it or it's intention. Events occur but I am unsure if the dream just collapsed or if it just transitioned to the next scene.

The big surprise is made known to me, my parents have signed me up for MasterChef. I am now on the set surrounded by other very well esteemed chefs and none other than Ramsey himself. I feel incredibly out of place but somewhat up for the challenge. All of the other participants are well to do accomplished chefs with restaurants of their own. Gordon sits me down and has a heart to heart talk with me. He informs me he knows about my lack of experience in the professional culinary scene and that my presence was by design. I am the only amateur chef participant in this season. He encourages me and assures me he will do everything in his power to assist me to 'catch up' with the other contestants. He believes in my skill and is hopeful I will shine through the challenges that will be encountered for the duration of the show. He is honest and non-patronizing. I am grateful for his sage advice and encouragement, though during his talk to me I am made aware the first challenge has already begun. We are being shown a table side service and plating of a specific dish with specific elements which all need to be executed in a very specific order to accomplish the desired aesthetic to the dish. I am glancing back and forth between Gordon and the table side service. Attempting to be as respectful as possible while also absorbing as many details of the dish and method I can focus on. It is a super-heated white ceramic oval plate which has just been pulled out of the broiler, small chunks of protein are placed and small sprigs of asparagus tossed between matchsticks of carrots scattered with small quartered pickled beets. They are left to quickly saute on the plate before a savoury créme anglaise which is more loose than normal is poured in the corner of the dish to slightly reduce on the plate to create the final consistency to accompany the dish, there are microgreens sprinkled around the edges. I have no idea how each element was prepared other than their shape and size and the harder I look the more blurry the dish becomes. Other chefs are standing around with their notepads asking questions and taking notes from the sous chef who is presenting the service. I think of questions regarding the temperature of the plate but second guess myself not wanting to appear plebeian. Gordon is done speaking to me, he shakes my hand and gets up from the table, and informs us we have one hour to complete the challenge.

After briefly looking over this week's DJ's what have I learned? What have I noticed?

DJ optimization

I noticed that my recall is pretty good. As long as I can make sense of the short notes, usually about 3 words, I can expand the dream a lot from it. The problem arises when I can't read the note upon reading it later during the day. So a way to fix this could be to just take 1 minute to rewrite them in a very neat manner.

1

Another thing I could do is to just have a short summary of the dreams at the end of the day if the dreams were particularly interesting. I noticed that I could recall paragraphs and paragraphs of info from just a sentence or two from days ago. And maybe once every week or a couple of days I can expand on them or review the dreams like I did on the days where I didn't have dreams the past week.

2
Awareness technique review

The awareness score that I'm giving myself is in the right direction. But something seems off about it. The idea is right, but the execution isn't perfect. How would I improve it? I feel like the problem is that it doesn't feel personalized enough: I'm getting the awareness feedback from the numbers, but it doesn't fully engage my emotions. Perhaps it doesn't have to be emotions, but just a sensation or feeling. A way to engage more of the brain....

3

In a way it's like when you're trying to remember a word - like a shoe. If you'd imagine a pink elephant wearing a shoe, that engrains it harder into your mind right? In a sense I need something similar to that. Like an anchor? A way to really engrave the awareness into the brain.

3

One more thing is that I'm probably trying too hard. When I'm feeling exhausted, I should just take a break. This applies to all things.

2

Dreams:

My dreams were in 3 segments. Each part was related to one another. I'll just write a brief summary of it since it doesn't feel that exciting at the moment. But I'll try to write down the key parts if I want to expand it on a later date.

0

Part 1

W city. I was a middle eastern man. Going to M city. I was in an apartment, a sort of party going on. Looking for excuse to leave. Go home or go back to W city.

0

part 2

I was a young man, an explorer. Caught by a group of people. Our group doing our best to escape from them. Middle eastern feel of our captors.

1

part 3

It was a similar situation or location. But this time is was a warring theme. I was princess of country sitting beside my brother on couch. Facing the king of barbarian. We were surrounded by his men. Go out and try to make peace. 2 factions fighting.

3

Score:
14/90 - 15%

Night of November 22, 2020

I was dating this beautiful girl that, for whatever reason, was being shunned by most of her peers. We had arrived at a restaurant, some establishment that belonged to one of her close friends. To my knowledge, we had agreed on the place for me to finally meet them. When we got there however, they took every opportunity to avoid us. I walked over to the bar and noticed she hadn't actually made a reservation. Frustrated, I stormed with her out of the restaurant.

Outside, a light bluish shade had fell upon the row of houses as they stretched along a wintry road in the middle of the night. The moon was uncharacteristically willing tonight, shining the way as I headed down the road. Far in front of me, I noticed a couple holding hands and moving at a brisk pace. It appeared to me they had gotten out of a restaurant only moments ago. I don't know why but I felt compelled to catch up to them. Though I increased the speed I could never reach the pair as they turned left at the corner and disappeared behind a wall. Once I made my way to the end they were long gone.

The street opened up to an avenue with four lanes, spreading out indefinitely into the distance. Adjoining the last lane on the right stood a factory of manufacturing Coca-Cola products. Short stacks of billowing smoke escaped from one of its pipes every once in a while. Apart from the steady swaying of leaves from shrubs and trees alike nearby, everything else remained peacefully quiet. I was very much alone here. I realized now that I had nowhere else to go, no home to arrive to, no bed to sleep on. I considered taking a risk and stay close to any stranger's residence. It'd be only for a night and for a few hours at most. I'd be gone before morning. Before I made my decision, I looked back on the road and it was then that I remembered. I remembered this was a dream. Things were markedly clear now.

I stood there by the sidewalk, staring into space while contemplating this thought, and all of a sudden I blinked and appeared on my bed, watching a video on my phone. It wasn't long, however, before I realized again that this was also a dream. I repeated the thought carefully: Remember, it is a dream. I tried lifting up and that was when I felt an immense pressure weighing down on me. It's as if I was breaking past the limit of an invisible wall. It occurred to me that I may have been trying to move my physical body, in bed, at the same time I tried doing so in the dream. Despite this and contrary to any other occasion, I would not wake up. I noticed that as long I kept focus, I could push over to the other side. No vibrations this time. Inch by inch my body began to rise, that is, until a split second later I lost sight of my goal and the dream began to fade. Everything went black for a bit before I opened my eyes to reality.

Rhea

Fell asleep listening to the dark Tower again. I'm on Wizard and Glass. I dreamed I was in rhea the Witches hut. I was with Rhea and i can't remember exactly what was happening. She was wearing a hood that was part of her coat, it was white with ruffles around the hood. She started going outside, and she flicked something at another garment, maybe it was a wand or just her hand. The garment came alive, it was the same hood dress/coat, she was wearing. She went outside or into another room and my eyes followed the garment that seemed to be floating around as if someone invisible were in it. I went closer to it but it darted around a corner. I cornered it and asked it to turn around. The hood garment turned around and i saw nothing inside the hood. I was perplexed at it just standing there.

I heard Rhea say, "Turn around." and I heard her voice, I also woke up then and realized Frank Muller's impression of her was good. but actually hearing her voice was way more scary. it was more evil and hoarse. Also apparently i was Susan Delgado in this dream.


Old men

i was walking around town with my dad or someone. Old men were looking at me a lot in this dream. We went into a bar or something. Old men kept trying to do me favours. One guy handed me a bowtie because I used to wear them. Although bowtie's are worn by men i get the feeling I was stuck in the image of Susan in this dream. i remember arguing with my dad about something also.

Truck crazy

I was outside and some guy approached me and said he owned ,"The rocking B" (I also fell asleep listening to wizard and glass and must have been at the part where Roland is at the party and someone says they owned the rocking b). for some reason we got into his truck and we were going to check his place out. The truck then jumped up on the back of a bigger truck. and for some reason we started tipping over. i woke up from falling out.

messy house

I dreamed i went to my friend Gary's house. He was a childhood friend. I went inside the house. Apparently i also lived there. Everything was messy that's all i remember.


Jamie

I was walking with a group of people. I was with jamie and two other guys. Jamie also looked like Susan Delgado in this dream come to think of it, If Jamie had been blond during the time i knew her She would have been the spitting image of Susan.... Jamie didn't seem to know who I was, and I was a bit jealous she was hanging with other guys in the dream. But at the same time we were all friendly. We passed a gas station and entered some bar. We all sat at a table. Me and Jamie got up when we heard someone playing guitar. It was some guy who looked exactly like me... and he was playing Yngwie malmsteen type licks but a lot better than i could ever play them. He did some twirly ascending lick and ended on the 22nd fret bending up a whole step and holding the note with some crazy vibrato. I said to jamie that guy is really good. Jamie left to go talk to the guy that looked like me with the guitar. I also wonder if I looked Like Susan in this dream as well... and jamie just didn't know who I was... well i hoped my double in the dream represented me well.


Car

Some nice guy was giving me a ride somewhere. it was in some town. I told him to let me off but he kept driving towards the mlountains. I argued with him that he went way past my stop. He got so angry and threw me out of the car.

#544 DILD 11:30PM

I somehow become a substitute mail carrier. I am worried because I have no idea what Im doing. I drive away in the mail truck but someone is yelling at me to stop. I ignore it at first but they say stop or we'll shoot. I stop and they say to check in. I get really confused because they say no here but up there where I was heading. I got through a gate and down a street. I stop at some factory looking building. I worry about what could happen next but I go in. Two guys who just look like a couple of slackers approach. They ask something about checking in. I say yes. We have some conversation but I get the idea I have to wait for someone or something. I see Newman from Seinfeld. He's talk to someone else as he passes. I say hello Newman. You're not getting your mail today you little bitch. He ignores me and walk away. I say I guess he didn't hear me. I tell one of the guys it much be hard delivering mail to someone you hate. I think of a few people thar won't get mail if I see it.

I decide to wonder around a bit and find myself it a room that I think looks like a version of David's house. I think we'll I'm here. Finally came to Michigan. Then it dawns on me whats happening and I instantly become lucid and filled with excitement and joy. I shout hey David this is a dream. We're dreaming dude get in here. Some reason I want to share this lucidity with someone real or not. I look around trying to find him but he doesn't show. I keep yelling for him but the dream goes dark.
I flap my arms and fly up a little just to get some sensation. I focus on visualizing his face but only a picture of him appears of him smiling at me in a goofy way. Then the one picture morphs into a 3 x 5 grid of the same. The whole thing is really trippy and I just laugh at it all. I wake up.

I slept 10 hours this night which made me able to have two lucids in one night. I woke up and remembered some dreams but I didn't write them down. This time I didn't feel bad about not writing them down because it gave me better sleep I think.

I'm outside and see a carriage where Linda from my class is sitting. We have some kind of romantic relationship so I walk to her and kiss her. I walk to the cinema and see Albin and my current class there. Ebba from the other class is also there. I ask Albin if this is a dream. He isn't giving me a straight answer and I become somewhat lucid. I look at the people sitting and watching the movie. I interact with some of them and see an old teacher from my other school. I don't remember her name but it is the asian's mom from Subway.

I'm on a field trip with school on a big canoe. I'm on the back and steering the boat. Kalle sits up on the edge of the canoe and I tell him that it is a bad idea. We lose balance and Kalle sits down again. He stands up again and sits on the side of the boat. The boat trips to the right even thought Kalle sat on the left side of the boat's edge. We swim to the nearest island and just as I am about to climb up on the sand beach all the other people swim over me so that I am pressed down under the water. I have some panic and try to go up. After some time I reach the surface. I suddenly have a swimming mask over my eyes and nose so I dive some more. I see Albin under the water and we look at each other. I walk up to the island and go look for a pointy stick that I can catch fish with. When I see the branches and weird sticks on the ground I become lucid. I'm still looking for sticks. I inspect the sticks and notice that they have some pointy edges but they are too short to catch fish with. I abandon my mission and want to fly to the stars instead. I run to the water and fly... but I fall to the water. I try to fly up from the water but it takes some time. I still have my feet in the water but I am able to fly away and up. My mom is sitting on a stone in the water. It reminds me of the Sturkö beach. I look on the sky and see some stars. I fly up and up and suddenly I see my house to my right. I can't fly over the house and I think to myself that it is because I need some kind of reference to be able to fly. I can't fly if my vision can't see anything that swishes past me. I fly down and fly as fast as I am able to past the blocking barrier over the house. I succeed! I reach space, but it's all black. I can't see anything. I try to navigate back to earth but I fail. I have a FA were my legs are over my head. I think that the flying made me put my legs over my head.

I almost forgot to do my DJ today. Good thing I remembered!

Goal

What is my goal for lucid dreaming? Why am I doing this? I wanted to explore and learn and create a world and more. To know and to be the knower and to see things impossible to the physical eyes. And more? But what would summarize all those things? What is the shorted possible words to describe all that? That would be the mantra. How would I describe it from the viewpoint of having experienced it all?

3

Lucidity

My lucidity appears pretty constant to before. I am not sure if taking the break yesterday was a good thing or not. It was good but I felt like half the day was enough maybe. But it was good though to take a break from forced awareness.

1

When I practiced the awareness rating thing today, or over the past numberous times in general, I've noticed something different each time I've reached a specific threshold of awareness. Not during meditation but during an activity, if I noticed that I've reached around 5 there were some clear distinct symptoms of reaching that state. These were some of them:

-clarity of thought
-focus (slightly different term would work better but what?)
-clearer vision
-lightness

I've had them prior to doin this, but it feels like I'm triangulating the exact formula for it.

3

So a goal I could have... or goals. Is to first reach this state proactively, at will. Then the second would be to reach it without effort on my part.

2

Recall

Dreams

I was inside of hgihschool on the western halls of it. There was a group of us, about 8 or so. And we were taken hostage by some men in black under the command of Donald Trump. We were taken to some secluded secret place and held there for a while. After some time had passed he decided to release us. We were on the back of a van and were released by a road. Thr road looked familiar and similar to mix of the road back in the Japanese elementry highschool and the one in highschool. We were dropped midway between the school and home area. There weren't any houses around though, just the desolate empty nature beside the roads. They left us there for us to fend for ourselves. It was winter and cold, trying to forage foods. Little steps at a time. We formed a group but there were two factions of us. Group 1 being those who wanted to stay put and group 2, which included me, wanted to go on forward. My cellphone didn't have any batteries.

3

I decided to go on by myself. I walked about a kilometer away and saw a sort of small residence building area. DT came out of the van and he looked different. He used some sort of advanced technology to make himself younger. He looked leaner, tanner and a little different. To hide away from his scandal. His hair looked different, they were more amber and had a strawberry blonde look to it instead of his usual hair. His skin was sort of like red clay. And he went on to hide, no one would be able to find him.

4

I kept threading forward. Was it just me? Or I feel like there were 2 or 3 of us. We found a large building. It looked like a science facility but the inside was a gym. They had a sort of a an MMA gym going on and I decided to join them. I fought on the ring and I think the first opponent was a childhood friend. I beat him and I went on forward. The second notable opponent was an arrogant man. And it finally ended with the ex-champion. I barely managed to defeat him and to the right was the currewnt champion. He was a nice man and gave me some tips. He told me that instead of striking forward into him, I should take a step back and throw a hook for a nice counter. I leave the gym from the exit on the other side and I walk towards home. Oh yeah apparently this was the good ending.

2
...

The gym part sort of replays. This version was the bad ending. At the beginning of it I was forced to fight my friend, but this was more like a fight to the death. We were fighting atop a high platform and the floor was made of steel. How do I describe it? Those honeycomb like pattern where the middle was empty that's how the floor was like. My friend was pushed back and his hand was grabbing onto the edge of the platform. I hesitated for a moment but I pushed his fingers away with my feet.

2

It was the same fights but at the end when I was fighting the ex-champ, I grabbed hold of him in a choke. The fist time I won with a punch but this time the choke sort of went badly. It was third person view now and the protagonist was no longer me. I saw a man choking out and ex-champ and the ex's head was ripped off. And The dream scene changes to one where our protagonist, the older man, waking up from a knockout to the head. He just recalled this fearful scene and lost all his will to fight. And his body instantly flabbed and had no will to fight
2
...

I FAed. In the scene before, the part where we were grouped outside. I laid by the group and beside me was a tall slender woman. She had long blonde hair and very heavy makeup - the mascara. I was writing my DJ of the previous dream about the DT and I was telling her about it. She was quite interested in it. She fell back asleep and I went back to writing.
0
...

I remember the first dream of the night. I was seeing off my friend Wolf. He was going to move away to the faraway lands of his home soon. He was going to leave in a couple of days and we were just spending time together. We were playing on a VR headset and he had the idea or was it me? To get a VR headset for blackfriday for him. We were on a highrise apartment. About the 9th floor or that's how tall it looked like when I looked out from the veranda to the street below. We went to the mall after or something.

-thought about black friday influenced this dream I think

2

Total DJ awareness score
24/110
22.7%