All DJ Entries

I'm in a line with smaller children. There is a leader that is calling us out one by one. The leader says "Oxygen, hydrogen... What comes next?". I am supposed to answer the question after I have run the obstacle course. I run to the course and have to go on small hinders. It seems pretty easy but I have a really bad sense of balance and almost fall all the time. When I am at the end of the course I sit down with William and watch some photos of us. There is a beautiful photo of me and William when we sit under the apple tree by the front door of Det Röda Huset in Sturkö. William is leaning against the tree and I am sitting closer to the camera and is watching up on the leaves. The leaves are really close to the ground and I could easily touch them if I streached my hand up when I sat down on the picture. The light is magical and is giving us a living feeling on the photo.

Notes: I have encountered photos of different things a lot in my past dreams. Me and my family watched some old photos of us some weeks ago.

I'm biking by Saltö to town but I'm lying with my stomach on the seat without my hands on the bicycle handlebars. It is hard to steer the bike and I almost crash with some cars because I can't follow the curves of the road very good. A kid bikes next to me and he is talking about something. We come to a playground site and there are a lot of kids playing there. It reminds me a lot of the Rosenfeldt playground. I walk into Subway that is in the place where the school actually is. There is a note on the wall that says that I have to do a cleaning task. I feel my energy disappear and I want to disappear too. I think about how I shouldn't have a cleaning task because I don't work this week. I walk out and there are Diego and Lisa (Håkansson's cousin). Lisa is jumping and is happy. I meet a monster that looks like a human but he is green and furry. He wants to hug me and I feel fear. I become semi lucid. I think to myself that if I think that he will tickle me he is going to tickle me. I can't resist the thought and he tickles me. I try to wake myself up but I jump in and out of the dream instead. I come in and out of his grip.

Notes: I saw a video of a man biking like I did a year ago.

I have a pillow that makes time go faster. Apparently it's Gustav's invention and David says that I can buy it. I say that I want to buy it and David says it costs 120 000 kr (13 500 USD). I feel bad because now I don't have any money left. I think to myself that it is worth it because this invention is amazing. I walk around and see Gustav in a room, he plays Minecraft. I think to myself that he will use my money so he doesn't need to work and that he is lazy. I walk to a factory and Klaus is there. I see some inflatable pillows and I get to know that they are wrongly designed. I notice that my pillow is one of the wrongly invented ones. I get to know that my pillow doesn't make time go faster, it is broken and sends electricity throughout your body so it feels like time goes faster. My inflatable pillow grows and attaches on me. I feel the electricity and it is painful.

Notes: I wonder what all the deceit means. Nobody has lied to me recently. 120 000 kr is important because it is the sum of my mission cost.

I was floating around , like a camera, it was as if I'm in a documentary, or watching one.
It's the middle of the desert late at night, I hear Sebiba chants. People meet in the middle of the desert to do blues\ishumar music, tuaregs and people from all over the world, lots of guitars....

Jamie

All i recall is her telling me she's planning to reach out to me. Hm... Trying not to get my hopes up for that. I mean isn't BPD devaluation FOREVER? Right.

Bus Lucid

I was downtown by a park or something. A bus pulled up in front of me. A girl I seemed to know came up to me from the bus, she wore a hoody. I wasn't interested in talking to her since she had a boyfriend who was driving the bus. I began to walk away but the back end of the bus swung toward me. I was suddenly inside the bus with no transition and became lucid. I figured the people on the bus for DCs so I picked the girl up and carried her to the back of the bus to have sex with her. She became docile like a blank DC. I began unzipping her pants when the driver said something to me. The girl had vanished but i didn't notice or care. I asked the driver if he knew Jamie and if he could take me to her. He said,"yes," I saw someone with long brown hair that reminded me of Jamie suddenly appear in the passenger seat next to him. The person turned around, it was a girl with brown hair but her face wasn't Jamie's and it didn't feel like it was her. But she smiled at me. i woke up then.

Engineer Bob

i fell asleep listening to The Dark Tower books again. I must have been hearing the story of Charlie The Choo Choo. Because i was walking around a train station with a guy called engineer Bob. i kept arguing that my name should be Engineer Bob, Because My name is Robert and I always wanted to take a cross country train Ride. Bob laughed and said he is the real one.

I set an alarm 07.00 and wanted to try to turn on my lamp and then try to sleep one hour again. I had an idéa that this would make me dream more vividly/have many dreams. I didn't recall any dreams from the night but remembered two dreams from the one hour nap.

I see my old french book in a shelf. I grab it and lie in my bed to read it. As I open it up my old french teacher Magnus enters. He asks what I am doing and I showcase my book and say that I am doing my homework. He says that I only have a C in french and that school lays a lot of money on us and that if I want to I can get extra help. New fragment. Someone is talking about how the world is going to be filled with water so that we can eat more fish. I see a big house under water as I hear this. I hear another voice that says that the water is way too cold and that it wouldn't be energy efficient. New fragment. I'm in the same room as I was before with the french book. There is a one meter long blue fish with some kind of fur on it on the floor. There is a girl that is fascinated by the fish and pets it. I pour some water on it so that it can feel comfortable. When I pour water on it I accidentaly rip the eye out from the fish. The eye falls out and fall on the floor. The eye looks like an olive. I look at the fish's eye and notice that there isn't any blood there and I wonder why. I feel really guilty and bad. Suddenly there is a grey transparent liquid coming out from the hole where the eye was before. New fragment. We have walked outside and Nellie and Sara is there. There is a big hole with water at the bottom. Nellie wants to jump into the water but she thinks it is too high to jump. She takes the stairs instead but because she is only a small child it takes a long time. I am annoyed because I am in a hurry for something. Sara takes a big sprint and tries to jump over the stair into the water but only comes halfway and hurt herself as she lands on the stone steps.

Notes: Today is the first day of school in a long time. I feel the pressure. I don't have french anymore but I think it will always be the subject that symbolizes school because it put so much pressure on me.

There is a big train and I see a group of children inside the train. There is another group of children somewhere else in the train too. The train is moving slowly and there are four guards outside the train with guns that is guarding them so they won't escape. The second group of children is talking to the first group about how the guards won't shoot the second group and that they can escape because of this. New fragment. The children are walking next to the rail. There is a spring on the rail that a child takes up and puts a trap on so that the train will break.

Notes: I read The Promised Neverland about two months ago and this reminded me of that serie.

31st October 2020

Dream:

I'm driving, something like an Opel Insignia or some kind of BMW; an estate or car of that sort, at any rate. It had an automatic transmission but the throttle was under the left thumb on the steering wheel, not on the pedals. Effectively it only had a braking pedal. I remember driving up to a junction which would lead out into a motorway and it had four or five lanes. But the lanes were on the wrong side for where I live now. I was going too fast at first but I find I have to brake suddenly, as someone had spun out of control or was already going in the wrong direction anyway.

I try to pick up the pace again and find that it's a lot less busy on the road now. I hope that H is following behind me soon. I get into a bit of a race of some kind with two other dream characters, each in their own cars.

Control of the car felt OK for the most part but a bit wild at times and the road, for a motorway, was surprisingly hilly.

Fragment:

I'm the oldest version of my rogue from WoW, a dwarf rogue. T is with my on his human paladin and there are several rogues from the Horde skulking about. They try to kill me, opening with a stun but T heals me and they're a bit dumb and don't think to change targets so we just end up killing these two rogues without much bother. Then I spot another single rogue in stealth and I open on him and kill him too.

All of us rogues had the same tier two helmet look-alike that was very common sometime after the middle of TBC.

(Recall gap.)

I'm Death from Darksiders II and I'm in one of the early-game areas, the town I think. I remember walking outside and there's a beautiful sunlight. This is the very tail end of what was quite a long dream of adventure and typical RPG themes.

1st November 2020

7:20; dreams from later on were not made note of and recall was lost.

Fragment:

Midway through a dream, JC was apparently talking to me via steam or something and we get talking about TF2 maps and I tell him about my old CTF map based on the UT "Face" map. This was a map I was making for TF2 that included a helicopter from regular HL2.

But in the dream it's very different very quickly. At first it looks like my vague memory of the map when I last touched it, but then it becomes very realistic. I walk along a Red Base area which is this vividly realistic Egyptian themed area and there's an open courtyard, slightly raised above everything else, with a square-ish mini garden thing at its centre and the floor here is made up of limestone mosaic tiles of some kind, no bigger than one cm or half inch.

I walk down some steps further toward the base, making note of a great pyramid centred to this courtyard area and see dunes further beyond in the distance.

I then turn around and see the opposite Blue Base. It looks like Washington DC's capitol building and has vast gardens and water features and creates an interesting contrast to the Egyptian area I'm in.

Taking out my phone, I start to try and take a panoramic shot of the bases to show JC but the sun starts to set beyond the Washington Base and it gets extremely dark very quickly and so I fail to take the shot, no less because I also stumbled on a step backwards as I was trying to get the angle.

Fragment:

Some bit in a warehouse-like place? Like an old 20s industrial building, not sure. Reminds me of old power plant buildings. It seems semi-abandoned but not. There's a character very much like Mom from Futurama and she's talking to a lackey of sorts, a woman in a dress; both of them were in large renaissance style dresses. But then the "Mom" stabs the lackey woman with a scalpel and I'm climbing up along a window's pillar at this time.

There's something off about it all vs the context and I remark to the character that it seems like a continuity error (also see notes for last DJ entry) but she doesn't care, making some comment stating so. I become concerned she may want to stab me and we are both outside the building now on a semi-grassy area. The area resembled KF2's prison map now. She seems more insane than she perhaps should seem but I somehow trick her into giving me the scalpel while she busies herself disposing of the lackey's body or something, so I simply end up walking away.

---

Notes:

- In waking life, I spoke to HW the day before this dream and he said he'd hoped I'd return to WoW should there be a revival of TBC too.

- Unfortunately, for most of these dreams I only made some very small notes and so didn't retain certain details I would have liked to have retained, but lately I feel far too tired in the morning to be able to write enough.

- In the dream with the bases, it's interesting that the sun did set beyond the capitol building, as this would appear West to me (and so should the sun set there) and Egypt would appear to be Near East to me. Although I have had many dreams of sunsets and the like, I can't really recall any other instance where the sun did set so quickly and where everything turned darker than night.

- The mosaic floor was particularly beautiful and may have come from having recently seen an interesting mosaic mural near where I live, which is unusual for this area, but the rest of the Egyptian theme came from something else; I'm not certain what prompted the capitol building's appearance but either way, both sides seemed to represent West and East in some sense.

24th October 2020

Fragment:

A bit in a super market about buying toilet roll. I wanted the same one as we had last time but I couldn't find it. I found some Cushelle branded roll which was apparently cotton but it looked too thin anyway.

I think HD was a cashier, I seem to remember her ponytail.

(Recall gap.)

A monster creature of sorts. I remember he spoke and said something. He was a very vivid red colour and sort of made up of tendrils. He had to be defeated by some specific means by I've forgotten the details.

26th October 2020

Dream:

In the earliest part I was in some kind of tower block. I was there with someone else at some point? I tried breaking into a flat from a maintenance area, looked like ventilation ducting but on a large scale. I took my boots off here, for some reason; but some goblin or gremlin came and stole my boots and I couldn't react in time but just carried on. I remember noticing I did have my regular clothes on and for the rest of the dream I was in bare feet. It had bothered me at first as it would in waking life, but I ended up getting used to it as I simply had no other choice.

I remember going up to the top level of the building. Reminds me of the stairwell at the old home. I met two admin-like people who worked here, there was an office. I wanted my boots found and tried to demand that they do something about the creatures like the one that took my boots.

In some later part of the dream I'm on a ground floor and there are quite a lot more people around. It's some kind of large lobby area. Reminds me of big hotels and airports in some way. I met a priest and he was corrupt somehow but I don't recall the details about it.

28th October 2020

Fragment:

I'm apparently stranded on some high tier corrosive planet. There's a purple tinge to the atmosphere and I'm in a semi-cavernous area. I try to contribute to someone's build with some rock blocks but Xenomorph-like creatures come out from a lower area and I deal with them one at a time, but I'm not sure what I used. They each looked like a mix of between a Praetorian and a Drone.

---

Notes:

- When I woke up from the tower block dream, I was a bit surprised by how consistent the dream had been with the detail of my boots being absent. Lately I have noticed that dreams are having more consistency in terms of "continuity" (like on TV shows, etc.) I remember in some other recent dream I made a non-lucid comment to a dream character about how what they were doing wasn't abiding by dream consistency or something like that; I can't remember if I did already make note of that dream or not. That dream I had recently in a desert area with the troops was particularly consistent with itself too, for the most part, I think I may have made a note about it there too.

- I've recently had thoughts about an old Alien game which may have been part of why they featured in one of these dreams. I have been wanting to get that game working again but haven't really given it the time of day to manage it. But there are other reasons they may have featured in that dream; I often think I should go and look at more of Giger's work but rarely actually do, as other things end up taking prominence in my mind. I suppose there's a theme here of things getting pushed back in terms of priority...

21st October 2020

There was a big dream from my first awakening but I couldn't retain recall.

Fragment:

In a shop with H. There are big standing fridges, the type with glass doors. We are looking at some supplements or something and H points at a few different ones. I want to pick something not too expensive. I think some of these are vitamin B supplements.

Fragment:

In an old warehouse building? Dark and dingy. But I'm here with a girl, she's white, about my height and age, maybe older, she has loose hair, fake blonde or blonde. Reminds me of Ellie from NCIS and other characters of similar archetypes. We're both naked and aroused as we're playing some kind of sexy game of catch. At one point she's taunting me playfully and because she sticks out her arm towards me I grab her by the arm and pull her toward me. She laughs in her defeat and we get more intimate.

(Recall gap.)

Then I'm on my own and I wander toward a dirtier area. The dream starts to mix with BL and there's some area I can't get through because it's claimed and has locked doors. I hear people talking beyond the doors, making plans. I decide to try and dig my way around into their town.

Fragment:

Walking up a place like the nearby bridge over the station. Rest of recall gone.

---

Notes:

- Although most of my recall of these fragments is very limited now, I still have a bit of the visual recall of the dream in the warehouse. Despite it being a dark and somewhat empty place, there was light coming in through some windows near the top of one of the walls. In a way, this warehouse has some resemblance to the gym space where I had a lot of PE lessons.

- The warehouse area seems like an odd place to me for something erotic to happen, as I tend to be somewhat averse to dirt, but in the last year I have had to get into dirty areas more often because of helping H with work. The girl's presence and our interactions may have been some metaphor of our relationship manifesting itself in the dream. I often wish I could be more romantic as in that dream, but I am often too tired and too preoccupied with my internal worries to feel like I can initiate something like that properly.

I had a dream last night where it was Halloween and I was trick or treating. I was dressed-up as a football player and was wearing a helmet and shoulder pads. I was going to houses with a girl who was probably 11 or 12 years old and was fat with shoulder length brown hair and was dressed as a princess. Her mother was with us as well and was really fat and had long curly brown hair. They were not people I know I my waking life. We were trick or treating in a really big subdivision where there were lots of houses closer together.

We kept going door to door and getting lots of candy. The girls mother was definitely in charge and was telling us what to do and also kept telling me to make sure that her daughter was getting candy when we were walking to the door in big crowds. She was really concerned for some reason that people would not see her daughter and give her candy if we were in a crowd. As we were walking around, the mother would grab me by the arm and get in my face if I did something she did not like. She was definitely a redneck and also a chain smoker. She seemed to smoke one cigarette after another as we walked around.

As we are walking around, I keep seeing people I went to high school with out trick or treating in their costumes. They all look like I remember them looking when I was in high school in my waking life. When I see them, they know me and I know them. I found this part of the dream really odd since I do not know who the woman and girl I am walking around with are and the neighborhood I am walking around

After we had gone up and down all of the streets, the girls mother told us it was time to go. She then led us to a small red 1980’s Toyota pickup truck with a black camper top that was parked on the street. When we got there she fished out her keys and then unlocked and opened the passenger side door and then told me to give her my helmet and bag of candy so she can put them in the back. I stand off to the side so the fat girl could get in the truck since she was shorter than me, but her mom grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward the truck and told me I was sitting in the middle because it could mess up her daughters princess dress.

I get in the truck and scoot across the light brown vinyl bench seat to the middle so the girl can get into the passenger seat. Her mother then reaches in and puts the lap belt around my waist and gripes about having to buckle me in herself while she tightens it. The fat girl then sits down in the passenger seat and her mother carefully buckles her in to make sure the shoulder belt doesn’t mess-up her dress and lets her have a few pieces of candy before taking her candy bag and then slamming the passenger side door shut.

The girl and I wait in the truck while she puts my helmet and our candy bags in the back and then stands in front of the truck and smokes a few more cigarettes. I notice something smells horrible in the truck but figure it is either that the truck smells since it is old or that the fat girl has body odor. It is not comfortable in the truck with the girl because I have my legs on a hump straddling the stick shift and the truck cab is small and the girl is fat and her body is pressed against me.

Finally the fat woman is opening the driver side door and getting into the driver seat. She is really fat and I have to move my body towards the fat girl to make room for her so she can close her door. I am now squished between the fat woman and the fat girl. Both of their bodies are pressed against mine and it is really uncomfortable. The fat woman also reeks of the all of the cigarettes that she was smoking while we were trick or treating. When she talks to the girl and I, I can smell the cigarettes on her breath and it is disgusting.

Eventually, the woman turns the keys to start-up the truck but it is really hard to start and she gets more and more agitated each time she turns the key and it doesn’t start-up. While she is trying to start it, the fat girl leans in towards me to see what is going on and bumps into me which causes my foot to get knocked off the hump and brush against the fat woman’s leg. She looks down and then grabs my arm and gets in my face because I stepped in dog shit and got it over her leg. I woke up from this dream with the fat woman having her face right in front of mine screaming at me and spitting in my face because I stepped in dog shit and got in on her leg and on her truck. I woke-up from this dream while she was still grabbing me and screaming at me and when I woke up was afraid she may have started hitting me if the dream had continued much longer because she was really angry and only getting angrier the longer she screamed at me.

I'm in our kitchen but it is in Japan. There are some people from church in Kristianstad there and they talk about fighting. I ask them if you can punch someone in a special way and one of them punch me that special way when I ask. He punches me so hard that I fall to the ground and can't stant up at first. When I lie on the ground I am supposed to do sit-ups. They tell me to take my hands to protect my face. The right hand is supposed to be just under the nose and the left hand over the nose. Every third sit-up I am supposed to punch the air two times. Benjamin and Samuel show me how to do it. They look very weak and they have a really hard time doing the sit-ups. I walk to the dining room and there are the Japanese family. There are some rings on the table and I look at them. They are bent in ways so you can't wear them anymore. Monica is there and she teaches me how to make a "burva" (In my dream a burva is a small paper cone). I succeed in the first try. I tell her that I will never have any use for this knowledge. She tells me that you must know these things in order to succeed in life. I say something mean about the Japanese family to dad but realizes that they might have heard me. I look around and find that no one is there. I wonder to myself why people travel the world, for example to Japan. I think that it is because humans are good to adapt. Therefore they can adapt to different countries and have a good time at different places.

Notes: The Japanese family was the rich mom and dad from the movie Parasite. We talked about Benjamin yesterday. I have just seen some bad sides of Samuel and I think that his weakness in the dream is a sign of how I view him. I often have conversations about how most things in school you learn is useless that reminds me a lot of the conversation I had with Monica in the dream.

I wake up 03.20 and try to wild but fail. It is frustrating that I can't succeed.

I had an alarm 10.00 and turned on the lamp. I wanted to remember some more of my dream so I went to my bed again and closed my eyes. I dreamt about the two next dreams after that.

My view is following my mom when she was about my age. She talks about how her seven scarfs disappointed her when she wore them. She and her famiy walk to a "trade your clothes for other cloth store". Someone of the girls is complaining about how poor they are. There is a room with different red and black striped shirts. Mom is becoming a bit crazy and grandma tell mom that she shouldn't have too many red and black striped shirts. I think it is weird to only have shirts of one style in your wardrobe. Mom already has a red and black striped shirt that looks about the same as the ones she takes. Grandma takes the shirts to the checkout and leaves two other shirts and takes mom's shirts. I get a body of my own now and walk to the exit. There is a painting on the ground about how you should not buy things if you can't afford it and a poor man that is standing alone in a store.

Notes: Mom's family was a bit poor when they were younger. I saw a poster about a store where you trade clothes for other clothes about two weeks ago. I wore a black and red striped shirt yesterday.

I'm outside our house and I am supposed to find out if the mini monsters are friendly or bad. Me and Morgan see the monsters behind a big house. The monsters comes to us and we wonder if they are evil.

I wake up 10.45

I'm by a big road and it is parted into two smaller roads. I walk to the left road and have some friends with me. There comes a wave of evil monsters and I have to protect my friends.

Notes: There was a really intense bond between me and my friends. I am fascinated of how dreams can make us believe we have known our dc:s our whole life. I watched some scary movies with my friends and cousins yesterday night. I had a dream about guns too.

I lay on my back and keep still; only moving to stretch, roll, or swallow saliva if I feel discomfort. I am experimenting with how sleep paralysis happens to me. SP never happens but I got some hypnagogia and eventually a DILD later on when I noticed a gigantic hole in my bedroom wall that led to a part of the house that just didn't exist.

Created Saturday 31 October 2020

Got a DILD and a fragment today.

Scrap Group 1
At home. There was a blue and white shuttle bus outside.

Dream 1 - October 2020

Scene 1 - Another Brief Condo Flight Awareness
The visuals were slightly blurred. I was walking outside through a pathway within a condo complex during a cloudy day. As I enter a hallway, I get aware. I float around for a bit, but the dream begins collapsing. I wake up briefly. Re-entry.

Scene 2 - Magic Curtain Rod
The visuals were dimmer than before. I was upstairs at home during night time, vague lights visible from below. I retained awareness.

Took a moment to really keep presence in the dream. After that, I hurry downstairs. As I do, I think over a list of tasks. Only the magic wand tasks seemed tenable at the moment. And so, I go to the front window, and wrench the curtain rod from its attachment. Oddly, the curtains remain floating in place. Anyway, I observe the metal rod. This one was an older kind we'd replaced years ago, one that had a fake crystal at the end.

I gesture and mutter nonsense at the rod as part of an enchantment spell. Next, I point the wand at the door, expecting something amazing to shoot out. Instead, I only got a bit of smoke. I whipped it repeatedly, and eventually got a trite rainbow display you'd find in a cheap carnival toy. Unsatisfied, I continued further, until finally, sparks began flying out. They initially only trickled out, but eventually they fired and smoked out in a similar manner to the spark cone fireworks, if more subdued. Works for me. Task complete.

I kinda drew a blank of what to do next. I only roamed around, observing the place for notable differences. Things get hazy. Don't recall anything else until the dream ended a few minutes later.

I had a dream where it was my first fall in a new town and was at a Halloween Party out in the country with two sisters who were my neighbors. The older girl was a senior in high school and was dressed as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and had a really nice body and long blonde hair. The younger girl was a freshman in high school and was dressed as a redneck and had light brown hair that she had in pig tails, she was cute but not as hot as her older sister who I was definitely interested in.

While at the party, I kept trying to stay within site of the older sister and got to meet several of her friends. I think I must have been a junior in high school because when she introduced me to her friends, she kept telling me I was a year behind them. Sometimes, the younger sister would come and find me and pull me away to come and be with her. I think that she may have been interested in me like I was interested in her sister because she kept wanting my attention like I wanted her hot sisters attention. Whenever she would start talking to some of her friends, I would break away and go find her older sister. This cycle repeated several times where I would be with the older sister, the younger sister would find me an pull me away, and then I would break away and find the older sister again.

When the party was over, I followed the girls to a brown 1970’s Ford pickup that had been restored. When we got to the truck, the older girl pulled out her keys and then unlocked the passenger side door so me and her sister could get in. I stood off to the side so her younger sister could get in, but they said they wanted me to ride in the middle between them because they both wanted to sit next to me. I figured that if the older girl wanted me to ride next to her, then she must be interested in me as well. I got into the cab first and moved over to the middle seat and then the younger sister got into the passenger seat and closed the door.

I talked with the younger girl for a minute or two and then looked over toward the driver seat and noticed that the older sister I was really interested in had not gotten in yet and was not anywhere near the driver side door outside. I then looked through the windshield and saw her about 50 yards in front of the truck talking to a group of other guys and girls she had introduced me to earlier who were all seniors in high school. I looked closer and saw that she was with 5 guys and 4 other girls. As I was starting at them, I saw the girl hugging one of the guys and then twirling her blonde hair while the talked and started to get concerned that maybe they were a couple.

As I continued to start at them, I felt someone tapping my ribs and turned to see the younger sister in the passenger seat trying to get my attention. I turned to her and asked where her sister was, and she told me she was hanging out with her boyfriend and it could be a while. She then nudged me again and said that meant that just meant that the longer she was with him, the more time we had to hang out together. She said her sister only wanted me to ride in the middle so I would stay in the cab with her.

I had a really sinking feeling of defeat when she said this and did not enjoy being stuck in the cab taking with a girl who was two years younger than me whose idea of a relationship was different that I was wanting. While she kept talking and carrying on a conversation, I kept looking through the windshield at the older sister and her friends who were having fun hanging out and was so jealous of them.

Finally, I saw the friends start to move in different directions and then saw the hot older sister give her boyfriend a long hug before he walk away with some of his friends and she turned to walk back toward to truck where we were waiting. I am sure I was starting at her as she walked back towards us in the cheerleader outfit with her blonde hair blowing in the wind.

When she got to the truck, she opened the driver side door and then sat down next to me. As she closed her door, she said she hope we had fun hanging out and that we didn’t do anything naughty she would have to tell her mom and mine as she laughed. She and her sister talked for a few minutes, but it was like I didn’t exist and she didn’t her anything I said when I tried to join the conversation. It was pretty clear she had no interest for me and had just invited me to the party because her little sister liked me and she figured I would be someone for her to hang out with so she could spend more time with her boyfriend.

Eventually, the girls stopped talking and the older sister put the keys in the ignition. As she was doing this she stopped and turned her head in my direction and started sniffing. She then said she though that truck smelled like shit and asked if either of us may have stepped in dog shit. When we both said we didn’t think so, she turned on the interior light and said we should all do a shoe check. As I was bending down to check my shoes, I hear the older sister say it wasn’t her and then saw her turn to me and tell me I had stepped in shit. She then started telling me it was super disgusting and asked how I didn’t notice it while I was in her truck. It was clear she was not happy with me doing that.

I woke-up from this dream really embarrassed that the hot girl I was interested in and discovered I had stepped in dog shit and paranoid that both girls probably though I was gross and an idiot.

Three nights, three opportunities to lucid dream, detailed as follows:

??? - September 27, 2020

The dream had a nightmarish tone from the very beginning. I don't remember much, as this landed on a rest day. I strain my eyes in hopes of finding some memory of the event. With effort, an image comes to mind. Oh right, I remember now. I was wandering in the woods at night, and then... I'm in my house... in the backyard. It's still dark outside. I see a group of animals, rodents, or maybe they're toys, making their way to the end of the wall. There's a close-up shot from above showing them, just lying there lifelessly in the grass. Now, I circle around a rock formation. Like a camera, I fix on the summit of a mountain as I round and round the place, as if in a helicopter. What's that on top, is it, a head? But it is nothing like any head I've ever seen. This one is more alien-shaped. Two processes protrude below it, and creep on the ground, like worms. I can't have one good shot at the thing because it keeps disappearing. My view circles around once more. All this seems very repetitive, and maybe it is my brain recognizing a pattern, similarities within the experience. The pattern turns to oddness, and weird turns to clarity:

I am dreaming.

The dream collapses. From within the blackness I enter REM atonia. Vibrations on my left side, full-body paralysis and the gut wrenching sight of the alien was the breaking point for me. It didn't matter that it was a dream. I wanted out, and I did.



The Man on the Lake - October 17, 2020

Many more dreams today. First, I saw a man standing in a large body of water, the height of which could barely touch his knees. The lake spanned for miles everywhere, and it didn't look to have an end. The moon reflected on the surface and the light mist covering the lake made everything so dream-like. The figure stared at the water, as if searching for something. He wore a dark robe, and for some reason or another, I though this person's name to be Adrian. I watched, and again, everything felt very repetitive, with the constant whirling around and searching. I figured it out shorty.

This is a dream.

Unfortunately, recognizing things meant giving permission for vibrations to do their thing. Tonight, they had focused entirely around my neck. The sensations were short but powerful, and in seconds I was overwhelmed by them. I woke up.



The Garden - October 29, 2020

I followed a woman downstairs to a basement. The space was accommodated to appear like a normal bedroom. There were beds and all provisions were made available so that one could live here. The woman led me then to a door above short steps that opened into a small entryway. Two doors lied on both sides, where a bathroom stood behind the one to the right. As we continued, the plain concrete walls from before made way for a stone finish. We stopped before two corridors that joined on both ends to form a rectangle. In the center, a beautiful garden spawned in the middle. And while looking around this garden, I knew. It was such a familiar feeling, a convincement that I was dreaming.

This time, surprisingly, there were no more vibrations, no more unpleasantness to follow the process of getting lucid. A big part of this had to do, perhaps, with my undivided attention to the scene at hand, on the plants, the flowers, the amount of detail contained within this garden. I understood that if I had so much as squinted away for a moment, that vibrations would return, but I persevered, and maintained my eye fixed on the world that lied in front of me. I walked along the corridor. There, in the sky, I noticed a small shimmer of light peering its way from above, bathing the greenery with color. There was a gate up ahead, but by the time I had crossed it lucidity had left me, and I became oblivious of when I had fallen back to a more dream-like version of myself.

The dream continues non-lucidly.

I'm sitting on a chair and Linnea is doing some kind of robotic transaction and putting her stomach against mine so that my food will be properly digested. She's handling me like an object and tossing me around, it hurts some times. I walk away and there is a quiz with three answers. The question is what a tempesto is. There are three pictures with some different faces on. I think that the answer is the knight because tempesto sounds familiar to the swedish word "tempel-riddare" which means Knights Templar. The answer is correct and the picture starts to shine green to confirm that it was right. Linnea is cuddling with a man from school where I was before. I think it is a bit annoying. There are some photo albums to the right. I walk to them and see a class photo. Wencai's face is the only one I truly notice in the big crowd. I see some family albums and look inside them. I see mom's side of the family and I'm filled with such love for all of them. There are some photos on mom and all her siblings. There is a photo on Kajsa and it says that she is the "second woman" as if it was a title. I think to myself that it is weird because she is actually the fifth and last girl born in the family. Monica comes and says that I can have some more class photos if I want to as if I was wronged because I only got one class photo and the family got many photos on it. I am not harmed and says that it is okey.

Notes: Wencai is the person that represents my class in my dreams. I know I dreamed a very intresting dream but I can't recall it, it is so frustrating. I dreamt about stomachs yesterday too. I thought about Knights Templar yesterday when I talked with someone about the books she read.