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This was a sufficiently interesting non lucid that I felt I should share.


Kicked out of Heaven

I am in a house where pretty much everything is white. Most noticeably the walls and ceilings. But most other things as well (e.g. furniture). There is some food out and I help myself to something that I would not normally eat. A hotdog with sauerkraut (in WR I don't care for either). I head up some plush carpeted stairs. One of my old girlfriends from many years ago is in a red dress and walking ahead of me. She walks past a doorway. I feel compelled to open this door. It's another white room and my wife, her friend Larissa and some others are there. My wife is displeased that I am disturbing her girl time and asks me to leave. So I turn around and go back downstairs. Taking a bite of the hotdog. Which is surprisingly good as it tastes more like a sausage sandwich, which I DO happen to like.

************

At first, this had the feel of ascending to heaven and getting kicked out. The more I thought about it, I feel the symbolism is much more complex than that.

At work, I have been dealing with one particular Japanese customer for 3.5 years. We've managed to sell one 1.4 million $ tool to them. In short, with all the support we've provided them we've lost our shirts. They were supposed to be our beta customer for the new product. However that opportunity seems to be crumbling as the customer changed the requirements, and we'll never hit what they are asking for.

Diane (ex) gave up on guys many years ago and is now with another woman. This seems to represent our Japanese customer changing their mind. I was ascending until I realized she was there. And was then rejected by my wife who otherwise has accepted me for a long time.

Then I descended, and realized the hot dog was quite good. Which represents getting rid of this crazy ass customer and potentially finding a better opportunity.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In high school / university mix situation, being bullied by Monica and her minions. Even in the bathroom, they burst open the stall where I am sitting on the toilet, demanding something I don't have, just to humiliate me. Then later on class, we're getting our grades and she scores higher than anyone else. I believe she is cheating, but everybody praises her and she gets a round of applause. I don't want to look petty but I gotta say something. I don't accuse her of cheating, but I say I won't clap because she is a bully and she's been bullying me constantly to derail me. Even if she really is smart, she's still a bad person. Nobody denies it, they tell me everybody knows that she bullies, but they still think she should be praised for her grades and they clearly think I am petty for bringing this up. I am appalled. As soon as everyone's attention goes elsewhere, she sneaks in close to me and pinches me hard, hurting me and I say I am sick of it and I am no longer going to be civilized with her. I do a choke hold on her and throw her on the floor and she kicks the air struggling to breath. I eventually let her go and we still fight a bit more, but I can tell she is scared of this new side of me. After the class everybody is going out somewhere and I join just to avoid being cast out, but I wonder if I should, since nobody likes me much anyway and I don't owe them anything. It starts raining as we walk down the street. It's already dark. I pull an umbrella out from my backpack. Everybody gathers in pairs or bigger groups under different umbrellas and I offer a ride under mine to anyone who needs it, but only Monica accepts. I yell there's not a chance in hell and I turn to a group that has like 4 people under one umbrella and offer to welcome at least one of them. They don't accept so I just carry on. I am tired of being nice. We walk into a grand central station and everyone heads to a subway line, but I miss them in the crowd. I don't know which direction they're going. Then I get distracted by some bijouterie lost on the floor. I pick it up and some lady who is just standing there notices it and says she had actually seen it before but was too embarassed to pick it up. She then points out to more bijouterie under a ledge and I am surprised with the finding. Like little kids who found a treasure, we pick it up piece by piece, making pairs with the found earrings and admiring the colorful stones and I fill my pockets with it. The lady doesn't want it for herself, she is just happy to help me find these. Then some other lady comes by and says she doen't think all that bijouterie is lost, but that it belongs to a seller who is there during the day and leaves her things hidden in there for the night. I feel bad and put it all back, except for that one piece that was efectively broken and in pieces on the floor and which seems like it was really discarded. Meanwhile, I am approached by Rupigo who asks me where some other colleague went and if he joined the others. I say I haven't seen him but I suppose so. Then decide to go after him as he probably knows the direction to go. But I don't want to go down the stairs against the flow of the crowd, so I just jump a balcony, the height of one floor, and gently land in the main central area of the station, near a ticket booth. I realize I am dreaming and that I can do whatever I want. I still debate a little with myself if I should go after the group lucidly, or not and I realize it is completely irrelevant. Instead I fly over everyone's heads and I move to the exit. I play a little with the fact that I can cross walls and columns and don't really need to find a door, but I am still planning my next move. Unfortunately the dream isn't stable enough and I wake up.

Jamie 1

Don't Remember what happened Just that Jamie was in it.

Jamie 2

We were both walking around a street. Eating something really gross... Won't say what. but we musta been under some awful spell for us to do that...

DT

Fell asleep listening to the Audiobook of the Dark Tower. Dreamed I saw The Tower from far away. I saw all the beams and the edges of the earth and the Turtle. Outsaide all that was Jesus with his arms open encircling the world. As if he was gesteruring, "Behold I have made this too!" So, He created The Ideas in Stephen King's head? Crazy. I know King is a hardcore athiest.

Canmore

Dreamed I was working in Canmore again but at a different place.

This is from awhile ago. Probably sometime in late august of this year. I only remembered it because of the dream journal autosave function.

I was at the grocery store; my old workplace from 2018ish. I had just clocked off a shift when I was approached by a group of shady-looking people in a black pickup truck. They were a high profile drug cartel and had asked me to be a drug mule for them in exchange for a briefcase full of cash. I had completed the mission, delivered the drugs to the recipient and was about to get paid. They slammed the briefcase shut, and their leader explained they planned to turn me into the cops. Basically explaining how I was an idiot to think they would pay me, and that they intended to turn me over to the police for being a part of their operation, to throw them off the trail since I didnt have any connections to their group.

Nonlucid brain of course freaks out (instead of realizing that guy was probably screwing himself because I knew what his gang looked like, what car they drove, and where I had picked up the drugs from and who I had given them to, and that they had no evidence against me.) I start screaming and jumping up and down like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Then Manei pulls up in an old rusty red pickup truck and I completely forget about that plotline. She's really upset, borderline crying and I ask her to explain wny. She tells me to look in the back of the truck so I do. Its about 20 black cats, including one litter of kittens. She's super worked up because black cats are seen as tokens of bad luck and nobody wants to adopt them so she had to rescue them herself.

-+-

I am involved in some sort of lucid dream war. The full story eludes me but I am in an OTD area that is mostly farm fields and forests, and I am partially lucid. Most of the combatants in the group are fairly typical soldiers with modern gear and standard rifles and stuff; a couple of tanks and other armored vehicles. But there are more exotic combatants rolled in there. One guy is a pyromancer or firebender of some sort wearing some kind of robe or gown. A few of the soldiers are wearing camo-painted powered armor and using more futuristic weapons. The leader of this group is like a big leopard in a power suit with a humanoid body weilding a plasma battleaxe.

We are fighting against hordes of black and gray zombies with glowing red eyes. They come out of the field which is some kind of burial ground like zombies and we are gunning them down before they can get close. Then a big three-headed dragon comes out, its stature and body structure reminding me of king ghidorah. One of the armored vehicles fires a volley of missiles and the dragon roars but doesn't seem to have taken any significant injury. It lunges at our formation, biting down on soldiers who are firing on it in futility. Its centermost head lets out a roar which carries with it an aura of terror. I feel this 'aura' of fear somewhat but resist the urge to run away. Most of the force scrambles away.

The leopard man isn't phased. He jumps onto the dragon's head and holds onto one of its horns. Then begins one-handedly chopping at its neck. He actually manages to get off one of its three heads before the dragon grabs his arm in its mouth and shakes him around before throwing him across the field into a tree. His arm had torn off and the dragon ate it. Leopard man prepares to make a last stand. I summon my amethyst bow and kill the giant dragon by shooting an arrow into each of its two remaining heads. It then begins burning away in a manner very reminiscent of how a dragon would die in Skyrim and I absorb some power from it. I go help the leopard warrior get up despite him being battered and bloody and missing one arm. When I do I get a feeling from him. That he is an exceedingly proud warrior that refuses to quit fighting until he either dies or wins. I wanted to tell him he did a good job and that he should go find a medical camp, but knew he wouldn't listen no matter how I tried to convince him.

The remainder of our battered group continues to advance. We get into this grassy field surrounded by a wooden fence with this old abandoned farmhouse and fog closes in. There is a bit of a creepy atmosphere. Then this bug Sauron looking guy comes out with a giant sword and shield. Raiah (yes my original character) says "I've got something special for this freak" and shoots a matter disintegrator bolt from her robot arm. He blocks with his shield though it does make the shield glow red and orange where it hits. I tell everyone to stand back and let me handle this.

I use my upgraded form. I'm very familiar with it now and I notice that. "I must have gotten used to it in dreams I don't remember anymore." I say to myself before I roar at him and then charge. There wasn't any real martial arts or strategy. I just rushed him and grabbed his hand holding the sword to prevent him from using it. We wrestle for a bit, as we twist and torque one another in various ways we get pushed through the farmhouse destroying the middle section leaving just the front and back wall and a little section of roof. His armor is covered with spikes and blades and its difficult to wrestle him without something poking or cutting me. Wrestling him is exhausting. Eventually I get him pinned and manage to pull his helmet off. He is just an old bully from junior high. I then grab him by the neck and pull him out of the armor, but do so in a way that doesn't injure or discomfort him. His body is normal sized and doesn't even fill a portion of the armor's torso, and all the armor breaks away when I remove him.

Last night:

I went to bed meditating on the idea that I seem to have developed a rather adversarial relationship with myself, and that since very early in my lucid dreaming career I have struggled with dream characters being directly and openly opposed to me being lucid. I think this epiphany was at least partially motivated by the "lucid dream war" being the crescendo of a very long lineage of dreams about fighting hostile dream characters. I have also struggled with myself reacting violently against dream characters when it is unwarranted. I resolved that it may be a roadblock that is keeping me from having more frequent and more enjoyable lucid dreams, and that I wanted to remedy this.

I was walking in a park. The park is on a big sloping hill overlooking a beach with neatly mowed grass and trees surrounding it on three sides. There is a large parking lot near the top of the open grass area with cars parked in it and a small modern/futuristic cafe style building made out of glass, curved steel tubes and suspension wires that sort of hangs out over the slope. It kind of reminds me of half of a suspension bridge sticking out over the steeply sloping park with two levels of decks with chairs and dream characters sitting on them eating and talking. There is also a black paved walking trail that snakes back and fourth heading down towards the beach.

I am walking along the black walking path thinking about how I should not be here, that it is a long way to get back to work. I then question where I am and become lucid. A family approaches me. Two children and two adults. They feel familiar and inform me that they have missed me and want to know when I might be able to come over and see them. Though there is an unspoken subtext that this implies they want to meet me in lucid dreams again. I respond with something to the effect of "I'll come see you soon" which similarly has an unspoken subtext that I have been seriously considering getting back on the lucid dreaming wagon. I acknowledge that I am accomplishing my goal of having positive interactions with dream characters.

Another dream character comes along with several dogs on leashes. They all look like labradors in various colors and are all quite large. As the dream character walks by the dream scene shifts. I am underneath a stairwell in a basement somewhere; the walls are plywood and 2x4 studs, with all of the dogs but not the dream character. There is very little free space and the dogs become agitated. I try to convince myself that they are just excited to see me and not aggressive, though I didn't thoroughly convince myself.

I am then back in the park scene, now on the inside portion of the cafe. I am holding a black and white cat with long fur, holding it on its back with belly and paws up. The cat is agitated and aggressive. It is hissing at me and trying to claw me and so I try to hold it in a different position. I try to put it down. None of these options work. My arms are not responding. Despite still being at least partially lucid I am now only an observer with no ability to act or speak.

The cat is still aggressive and hissing. But now it is breathing heavily and makes a sort of loud irritating squeaking/wheezing sound when it does. Each time it breathes in its eyes and paw pads, which are jet black, swell up slightly then shrink. But each time the cat breathes in they swell a little bigger and don't shrink quite as much. There is a fearful sort of tension, as though this sounds absurd, in the context of the dream it was a rather disturbing and grotesque phenomenon. I try to channel positive energy into the cat, sensing that it is suffering. I try to break free of the situation and just do anything on my own volition, but I'm now only a lucid observer. A dream character starts laughing at me. I pull my rip cord and tell myself that this is becoming a nightmare, and I want to wake up.

Too late. The cat's eyes and pawpads pop, splattering me and the surrounding dream characters with black tar. Everyone starts running and screaming. The black tar burns my skin and I am filled with a horrible terror as gooey sort of spider-like parasites crawl out of its eyes. I finally finish awakening and the dream fades out, though with the emotional intensity I probably would have woken up anyway.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Driving near my home, on the street perpendicular to the one with cat colony, and I spot an airplane flying very very low in circles. At some point I am sure it will crash. It is flying on its side and one wing hits an old stone wall on the edge of a plot of land. Miraculously, the plane doesn't crash right away and the pilot manages to straigthen it up and land on the narrow road besides it. But the airplane is all crumbled and broken. Some populars gather around to see and comment the situation but nothing agressive. Still, the pilot, who comes out unharmed, feels attacked and starts shouting and insulting everyone and telling them to go away.
Somehow in the middle of this crowd I meet a time traveller. A guy tells me he invented time travelling and it's fine to go back and even meet yourself. I tell him I want to go back to some moment in the past. We land at some day when I was a toddler and my parents left me at the care of my grandmother. We knock at her door pretending to be salespeople. Back then everything was so much more simple and people trusted each other, so she invites us in and shows her she is feeding her granddaughter grapes. As my colleague sits down to talk about the fake deal with my grandma, I ask if I can hold the baby and feed her. She allows and I sit at a table holding my chubby toddler self and I feed her grapes. But I find the grapes are way too big and I might choke on those, so I chew them into smaller pieces, but my baby me rejects those. I ask my grandma why she is rejecting since it is easier to eat and swallow and she says she probably just doesn't want anymore grapes and that she has some sweets for her now. She hands me down some type of cake that has a crunchy white outside and is filled with a yummi creamy brown interior loaded with nuts and almonds. Once again, I don't think it is appropriate to feed these to the baby, both for the sugar content and the nuts she can choke on, so I again bite smaller chunks to feed the baby and in the meanwhile, I eat most of it myself because it's really yummi. Back in the future, my new friend has his machine and a big white board with formulas and notes in some small garage owned by some other guy. Incredibly, this other guy doesn't believe he actually time travels, so he goes back just a little bit just to write something on the white board and we in the present see it magically appearing on it. The time traveller guy had also been to the future recently and checked that his friend will still be offering him shelter in his garage for years to come, so him believing in it or not is irrelevant, he just needs a low-key place to keep it discreetly away.

Parking with Riverstone at a parking in front ot some buildings, I am approached by a little girl who looks like a gipsy in ragged clothes. She asks for something, I can't hear exactly what. I have nothing I can offer, but I tell her I will bring something next time. Then we go inside the building, and the house we're in is similar to my mother's. We sit on the bed of my mom's room watching tv. The kid returns and I invite her in, because I want to know more about her needs. She is amazed at all my dolls and plushies. First, I think about letting her chose which one she wants, but then I recall I have lot more others in storage that I don't like as much and I prefer donating. So I ask her where she lives so I can go there one day with gifts and she takes me downstairs and around the building to show an apartment tower just behind us. Some windows on like the second floor are open and I see a large family inside, some of them at the window. I tell her I'll give my phone number to her so she can call me but she says she already has my phone. I wonder how.

I am taking a shower at some place I don't recognize, but feels like home. Someone comes inside the bathroom and because my shower curtains ar way too short and don't close well, I see it is my *** . I feel embarassed and focus on pulling the curtains to close them as much as possible, but he pushes them a little open so he can peek. I feel awful and angry and I tell him to stop. He feels entitled to do it and I don't understand. I want to run away, I grab towels and cover myself. Then I remember I am a fully grown adult now and I really don't have to put up with his shit. So I tell him that and threathen to beat his ass if he doesn't just disappear and leave me alone.

It's been years since I've posted in a dream journal on DreamViews - I had one on another account which I kept going for ages, and I loved it. I've been in a rut recently fuelled by bad habits and laziness, and I want to pick myself up and grow stronger than ever. A big part of this is going to be about reducing my consumption and reconnecting with my spiritual side, something that I'm very excited to do.

I'm very happy to see Dreamviews is still going, and it's old-school forum format gives me great solice, feeling like I can base myself here for a while for my self improvement journey. I'm hoping to join in with the community again (I wonder if the daily/weekly/monthly challenges are still about), but I'm going to start things off by returning to my dream journal. I always found that if I wasn't remembering my dreams for a while, I could simply write down as many dream-related things as I could remember and I would remember my dreams the next day.

Earliest Dream Memories

There's a few dreams that I remember having as a child on several occasions, essentially recurring nightmares. They were super abstract and had a overall feeling of 'doom', which I've always thought is interesting. These are abstract and mature feelings, so it's strange to have them as themes in toddler dreams.

#1: The Rocket Launch. In this dream (I think it was recurring), I remember a vast 2D landscape, much like something you'd find in a very very old, rudimentary video game. It was in black and white, and the 'subject' of the scene was a cursor representing a rocket ship. I would see the black dot zipping across this infinite white void, not looking like it was moving due to its blank surroundings, yet something giving me a deep feeling of extreme speed. I would come to realize that this rocket was heading at enormous speeds towards a planet, perhaps earth. It also could have been the other way around, but there was just this overwhelming feeling of impending doom coming from the collision. I remember that this dream would feel infinite, timeless, and like nothing in the world mattered at that moment.

#2: The Baby Rattle. This dream is much less detailed, but I remember it terrifying me - there were three young toddlers, perhaps one years old, standing over me on my bed giggling goofily whilst shaking rattles, getting closer and closer to me. Although it does sound like the thing of horror movies, I remember realizing that the scene itself wasn't scary in itself at all, yet in the dream it was incredibly haunting.

#3: The Alice in Wonderland Effect. This is perhaps the most interesting of my old dreams - in fact I'm not sure it was even a dream. I remember it happened a few times and it would always happen as I was drifting into sleep. I would imagine a small ring that would have the mass of the entire universe, unimaginably heavy and dense. I wouldn't imagine it as the weight of the universe at the time because I'm pretty sure I was a toddler when this was happening. Something about the ring with this unimaginable mass really shook me up, it was an intense and almost doom like feeling. Later in life, I remember bringing this up to a couple of friends as well as my sister, and they all experienced something similar. One person remembered a feeling of the room feeling very small, whilst they themselves felt enormous. I also had a friend who had similar dreamlike experiences of being under a huge boat, with the monolithic darkness of the boat's bottom causing immense feelings of dread. I did a lot of research online to see if I could find anything similar to these experiences, and after a lot of searching I did. There was something called "Alice in Wonderland Syndrome" i think, and it had something to do with being caused by very mild strokes caused naturally in children. Apparently its very common in kids but disappears as they get older.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting the location of some teachings I am attending, I am amazed by the architecture and decor of the place, the temple, the gardens. I am helping out and looking for a mop to clean something when I stumble across Em. She takes me to her own apartment to get me a mop and says she is also tidying it up. And it really needs, it looks like a hoarder's house. She claims it's her mother who likes to have stuff covering every surface. I find that odd, from what I know about her, but say it's the same with me and my mom, except we don't want to, it just happens. Our teacher is on-site and welcoming small groups for personalized conversations and teachings in a large reception hall. He is receiving a group which I join in by mistake and they are talking about Jesus and calling themselves a church, it all sounds satirical yet they are truly commited to the part. I have no clue what they are up to, but not my business, so I leave. I am then invited to join a larger group who is having some kind of reception with food and drinks. We sit at a large U shaped table that goes around a U shaped corridor. Food starts being served and I ask if this is dinner, they say no and then I reply we will be full and not need dinner later. I meet some nice people and one guy is recording snips and bits of the event and makes a short clip with me, which distracts me for like 10 minutes, enough for all the food to disappear. They suggest I go directly to the kitchen and ask for more, but the only tray they still have is taken to another group and there is nothing left. I realize I am so hungry and can't wait until the next meal. I almost have a meltdown because of it.
Some guy and girl invite me to go out and look for some café or other place to eat and I join them. The location feels like some European city with modern buildings. I feel Berlin vibes but it actually looks more like London. We are at some terraced passageway and then we need to go down some stairs to reach the main street where there is the subway and they are asking me where I am staying and where would be more convenient to go and I have no idea. They ask east or west and I mention vaguely an area but my mind is blurry. Then for some reason I decide to not go with them anymore and we separate. I then spot two ginger cats sleeping in the street, their backs against a wall, and I approach to see if they're ok. Apparently so and anyway I can't take them with me, so I leave them be.
Then it gets blurry again but I am with a group of 2-3 people in a room and they aren't friendly to me and are menacing somehow, so I leave and try to lock the door behind me. I can't, so I start zigzagging through rooms and realize I am in some kind of the Backrooms, as each room has 3-4 doors only leading to another room and so on. Some are empty, some look like normal rooms in a home. I start becoming lucid and think of what to do next. Not sure, have no plan, but I spot a door that opens to an absolute pitch darkness and I decide to jump through it as a portal and see where I land. Doesn't go as planned. I just enter a darker and most dangerous area of the Backrooms, filled with monsters. First I stumble from room to room in the darkness, finding some hints of a faded light here and there showing a door or some furniture against a wall. Then I came across the first monster. It looks a bit like Venom, shiny black slim body and a big head with sharp teeth. He just appears out of nowhere and falls on me. I just have time to grab his head away from mine and we fight on the floor. I try several hooks to keep him imobilized as I try to find a weakness to hurt him. Eventually I manage to grab some object and slam it into his head, but it takes a lot of times to knock him down and he bits me a couple times. Then I continue wandering and encounter a metal staircase leading to upper or lower levels. I go up and enter a level that has victorian decor in the hallways and beautiful colored bead curtains hanging over many doors. As soon as I cross one such doors and it makes a distinct sound of beads against each other, some woman with a kid appears running and yelling that I just attracted the creature. The creature is a hollow blue mesh figure, a bit like the other slender figure before, but more hunched and walking on four limbs. The front limbs a bit longer than the back limbs. And the head is very thin, basically a neck ending in a jaw. I don't even know how this creature can hurt, because it looks so frail, but it is scary nonetheless. We run upwards but all the next floors are still in the same style with the same damn curtains. Eventually I enter one such floor any way and allow the creature to follow me throughout the rooms. I then face it and grab its head to find it is indeed frail. I rip apart the head mesh as if it is cardboard and that is it. Then I think I see the kid again, can't tell if he is the same, but must be. I call him closer, I don't see his mother around. He stares at me, doesn't move or say a word. Then he gets closer and I noticed he has a snake like tongue and he is actually preparing to attack me. He is just another monster. He tries to snatch me with his tongue and I just have time to jump to the side and escape him. Turns out the woman was walking on the ceiling like a spider and also throwing her tongue to catch me at the same time. Instead both their tongues get entangled and when she pulls her tongue in she swallows the kid whole. I run away again through rooms and rooms, until I find a new level which looks more like the real world. I hear human voices, but not knowing what it is I hide in a room which looks almost normal, with a bed and sheets and even some light coming from some kind of window. I hide under the bed when I hear the voices approaching. It is two guys and they close the door behind them, looking scared and looking for something to block it. They seem human, so I decide to reveal myself. I don't want to startle them, so I whisper to get their attention. They are still spooked at first, suspicious of me, but they end up trusting I am also human. They say they were being chased by some being who looked like a giant leprechaun with two heads. And either he has two faces on the main head or he can send one of the faces down a tentacle-like arm and generate a second head at the end of his arm. The creature arrives at our door and starts pouncing on it heavily. I help them hold it up, but we know he will eventually break it, so I look around for something again that I can use as a weapon. There is some sharp metal thingy from the bed frame and I grab it. The monster finally blasts the door open and throws us down on the ground, but he doesn't come in right away, instead he peaks with his tentacle head first and I stab it with the sharp metal. The creature leaves in agonizing pain, but I still get to see its whole body and main head and it really looks like a leprechaun with a beard and some dusty brown clothing and a semblance of a hat.

This was a very profound and symbolic dream. I don't have too much time to write this, so I may avoid some additional details, but I will get the main point across.

I am a farmer in this dream. There's not too much detail about the farm itself. There is a very basic farm house and a corn field. Behind the house is what looks like a pothole or sinkhole. I am working in the backyard doing something to the earth (like maybe tilling). I discover the sinkhole and decide to start digging. I get a shovel and dig and the earth starts coming up in big blocks like in Minecraft. I get down deep pretty fast. I reach what appears to be bedrock, but upon closer inspection, is actually just a flat concrete slab. I notice around the edges at the bottom of the hole are a bunch of 2 x 4" wooden support beams holding up the earth above it. Sort of like if you were to look underneath somebody's backyard deck. The height of the space is only a couple feet. I have a flashlight with me and see that the space goes back for miles and miles as my light just fades into blackness. I can see board after board lined up in rows. I'm perplexed to see that my entire farm is being held up by these small wooden boards on top of a concrete foundation. A kind of creepy vibe comes over me; what the hell is this? The hole in the ground is square (like I said, it's like Minecraft), so it has four sides at the bottom. I examine the three sides and they all look the same going off into the distance. However, the fourth side appears to have a plywood board several feet back from the hole. I'm really curious, so I begin to crawl under the gap. It's very short, but just tall enough for me to crawl under. When I reach the board, I see that it's just leaning up against the support beams, so I push it aside. What I saw behind this gave me shivers. It opens up into a huge room with a much taller ceiling. The height of the room appears to be something like 20 feet tall, and the size of it appears infinite just like on the other sides of the hole. Only a few feet behind the board is a metal chain link fence. I shine my light back there, slightly illuminating these large structures that are all lined up behind the fence. At first, it's very hard for me to see what they are. I discover they are a bunch of huge reddish-brown pawns; just as tall as the room. You know, like pawns from a Chess game. They look kind of creepy like their faces are the heads of real people attached or something. They are also intermixed with huge electrical insulators. The kind that you see on big high tension power lines, except even bigger; they are the same size as the pawns. I crawl out into the larger room next to the fence. I walk along the fence and slowly with each row of pawns or insulators, they start looking more and more creepy. A weird feeling comes over me that if I keep walking, I will encounter dead bodies. I didn't actually see any, but there was just something about the progression that made me feel like I was being led into hell. The pawns kept getting redder and redder almost like they were covered in blood. As I walk everything keeps getting harder and harder to see and eventually fades to black when I wake up.

Crazy. I think I feel for the people of Europe and what's going on there with the farming crisis. I think that's what this dream was about. I got some chills just writing this. I actually had this dream about two weeks ago now and just didn't get around to writing about it, but I think it's one of my most profound dreams so far.

Best wishes to the people of Europe.

+[f] something about women and documents at work?

Final waking:

+ I'm on a high place outside in daytime, looking down upon a street that is lined with tall trees. There is a man there standing by the open trunk of his car and I know he is up to no good. I fly down parallel to the sidewalk away from him in order to circle around clockwise over the street and film him and catch his license plate. My [deceased] 1st wife is sitting in a car that I fly over, she either tells me not to interfere or I tell her. I'm hovering over the street about 20 feet in the air trying to get a clear shot of the man's license plate on my cell phone, which I'm using to video the scene. Trees are interfering with getting a clear shot as I fly past.

Then (later?) I'm telling my sons to get into and start the engines on our several cars that are parked on the street in front of the "bad man." As we move from car to car, about the 3rd car, a man driving a beat-up white van backs from a driveway or side street onto the street just in front of our car, and I'm a bit annoyed about this.

+ [vague] something about me and my sons being in trouble?

+ [vague] something about my stocks going up?

My book-directed ("End The Insomnia Struggle", excellent book, highly recommended) insomnia therapy is bearing fruit. I am more and more aware and familiar with my sleep/wake rhythms. My sleep drive is regularly very high in the evening now. In fact, if I'm doing something quiet, like sitting watching a video, it gets to the point where I start nodding off and can't keep my eyes open. I'm learning more about how much sleep I can reliably generate under what circumstances. The good news is that I typically have a very vivid, long period of dreaming within the sleep window of what I can typically generate (6.5 hours). The not-so-good news is that it's less than I'd like, for dreaming. But we work with what we have. I did sleep for a bit over 7 hours today (hard to tell light sleep from awake without a fitness tracker device), while being in bed for around 8.5.

Decent quality of non-lucid recall.
+ overflow of water in the bathroom (went back to sleep late morning with a mild urge to pee)
+ sitting on a sidewalk on a city street with my back against a pole as people walk by, 3 girls come up to me and proposition me to spend the night with them.
+ in a buffet restaurant, where one self-cooks chunks of meat (ground and whole) in vats of boiling oil
+ walking around with a girl through city streets, with some friends as body guards in dicey-er parts of town, I get directions from them to where we're going and I don't understand them, we stop in an outdoor restaurant
+ situation with a chamber pot that I haven't emptied yet, smelly with the remains of the contents
+ walking around with a girl (romantic interest?) who's playing in a band; for band forms for rehearsal, I'm not sure if I should play or not, then I see that <my instrument> players do show up so I think I don't need to participate. Later, we're hanging out in a room and I take out her electronic bass and improvise my way through the bass solo in the opening to the intro music to the Barney Miller 1970's TV sitcom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roHYXrLhmHc. At one point this girl is walking through a room and she's naked from the waist down, her <ahem> at one point is clearly visible from behind, I notice other guys looking.

I was at work, but work shifted between being my actual retail job and somehow being in a house I don't recognize. For some reason we had an order for someone, I think they were having a huge party. They ordered pallets of 12 pack sodas, among other items. I had to -- I forget -- unload them, check them in, something. On top of trying to so something already, I think move large displays. I remember a lot of Maybelline stuff.

It was then that I heard someone called out, and I was asked to stay an extra half hour. Sure. Just let me call home and let my family know I'll be running late. But my phone didn't work. Could pull up contacts even though I kept trying. The screen was nonsensical. Couldn't pull up the keyboard either. I took a break to go outside and sit in a car I didn't recognize so I could concentrate better. It didn't help. My boss(I didn't recognize this woman but knew she was my boss) went out the car that was apparently mine to ask if everything was okay.

I was very upset after trying so long to use my phone and somehow I just couldn't. I asked for her phone, and she dialed the number I gave her and handed it to me. The person on the other end was a stranger. I looked at the phone; she had dialed a totally different number that I could even quite read. I spent the rest of the dream becoming increasingly distraught as I tried to dial the right number. It never worked. At one point I told the manager to just go back to what she was doing because she was waiting on someone for a meeting but she didn't want to just leave me alone in the parking lot, something about safety like I could get mugged or something.

Also the manager's phone was a landline, not a smart phone. I wondered why and how a landline she owned worked so far from it's cradle which was surely at her house. Also, being a landline, it had actual buttons. And every time I hit a button it registered at the button next to it, so I couldn't possibly dial correctly. My mind explained this by deciding that the wires under the buttons were breaking down with age so they were shorting together.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With my mom doing tourism somewhere exotic. We just had some snacks at a cafeteria in what seems like a bazar. Then I am drawn to this sort of temple and realize there is a buddhist event inside and I spot my teacher in there. He is coming down from the stage and giving his place to some other lama. Me and mom are at some lateral door when my teacher walks down an isle, perpendicular to us and I think he sees me by the corner of his eyes. I fold my hands on my chest. I notice I am wearing a long white embroidered dress. Then I leave with my mom, trying to figure out where my teacher is going, but I am nt walking anymore, instead I am levitating above my mom as she walks below.

This was actually a half way decent and interesting LD.

G/C + LT


Ancient Tree (INRALD)

I'm on the couch trying to relax and fall asleep. I've been experiencing some insomnia and just trying to settle in before the sun comes up. I nearly doze once or twice. So I know I'm close. Eventually I feel vibrations and I let them play out. When they subside I open my eyes and confirm that the kitchen night light is off. So I'm obviously dreaming. When I get up my legs are crossed over each other and I can't easily untangle them. So I use my hands to grab my right leg and pull my right foot over my left. Freed up I proceed toward the front door. I peak into the master bedroom hoping some interesting sexual opportunities might exist. But it's just my wife groaning and rolling over in bed. Nothing "interesting" or unusual here so I carry on and leave the house

When I get outside I walk past the garage which is open with the lights on for some reason? I disregard this and leap in the air. I roll over and maintain a hover with my feet pointed directly into the air. I right myself and try again. I simply flap my arms to try to gain some altitude. This is only marginally successful. So I imagine artificial wings strapped to my arms and the additional air force and thrust that this would create. This is actually very successful and I begin to easily ascend. I get higher and higher. Above all the trees. When I am confronted by a roof like structure. I pass through it and rest on top of it. It's many stories in the air. And a very flimsy plastic. I walk on it and it can hardly support my weight. So I sit down. I realize my cars key fob is on my ankle pocket. So I pull it off and toss it to the ground. It flies out with a hard thud. I briefly have an oh shit moment. I better be dreaming. But of course I am. I leap and fly some more.

To the south is a large pine, with a much larger tree next to it. It's simply massive. I fly in that direction. Now in more of a superman style as I'm more confident in my flying skills. When I land I am in awe of this massive tree. It's trunk is perhaps 10 feet wide. And it's leaves are a soft yellow. I can't identify it's specie per say? I touch it with one hand. Then is both. I close my eyes and I can feel it's energy. It's lifeforce. That is the only way to describe it. It's ancient. Hundreds of years old. And very accepting of my presence. I open my eyes and realize there is a spiral staircase overhead, attached to the tree. I walk counter clockwise and find the base of the staircase and decide to climb up.

The spiral staircase itself is very narrow and difficult to negotiate. I go around several turns until I happen upon a room that is built into the tree. There is no doorway. Just a wide opening. I feel it would be rude to just walk in. So I knock on the stairs several times. A woman walks over and invites my in. We begin to have a dialogue. She is complaining about some work responsibility she has. Where she needs to make a presentation. She does not feel confident about it. Declaring "I'm just a woman who lives in a tree". I feel sympathy for her challenge. The dream becomes unstable and I wake (FA).

I am back on the couch. I can distinctly hear music, but only in my left ear. It's definitely a Doors song. But one I do not recognize. I wonder where it came from, or how my brain was able to formulate a song in a style that I would not normally write in. I soon wake.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In a spaceship like the ones in Star Trek. It is a very large one and we're dangerously close to the surface of planet Earth doing some high risk maneuver, trying to escape some other spaceship in pursuit. This maneuver was never accomplished and our ship is shaking and creaking like it is falling apart, but it holds up. The other one doesn't and we watch it be ripped appart. Then, I am not sure if by the effect of our massive ship or something else happening on the planet, but the ground below is also breaking apart, I watch a road cracking and breaking apart and some high pressure water jets coming from underground hitting the ship. There is a part of the ship which was severely damaged, which breaks apart when hit by these water jets and falls into the surface. It brings me and a couple collagues down with it. We don't know what to do when on the ground. First we run after the ship (as if we were running after a car) but it is massive and it isn't stopping for us. Then we run through a town to find some specific place, I think maybe some place from where we can communicate with the ship. I and another girl, we lose track of our male colleague who was running ahead of us and he is the one with the coordinates. We emd up inside the building of an airport and I look for clues of where he might have headed. Anything. I find a decorative flower bed with some plaque identifying plants by numbers and I notice some numbers are not correlated to plant names as other numbers are and I assume it is a coded message he left for us, but it seems incomplete. My colleague thinks I am reading too much from nothing and that this was not made by him, it is just some random incomplete info on an abandoned airport.

At my mom's, very early morning. But she isn't home, she is enjoying some well deserved vacations. Unexpectedly I have other family members with me, like my deceased uncle Zé F.. I am looking for bread, coffee and cereals to prepare breakfast. We have a TV in the kitchen and I am looking for some news or show to put on for my uncle and whomever else is with us. But all channels are playing weird stuff. On the public network they are playing some videoclip of hispanic rappers singing about gangs and I wonder why the hell they are playing that on what seems like a weekend morning. The videoclip grasps my attention as it is filmed in Lisbon. Then I am there, walking through old Lisbon. It's still early morning, so there are very few people on the streets, but groups are arriving and descending from buses. We're near some church or cathedral and I spot some weird poster on a wall that reads like a newspaper and ther is some news story that Greta Thunberg is dead in a car accident with her father. I am shocked and turn around to discuss it with someone but when I try showing them the poster where I read it, the poster is gone and I am confused. I decide to keep walking and I see a bunch of tourists hangin out and listening to a guide in front of the church. I realize they are catholic devotees. I think to myself this could be a lucid dream and I would use the chance to prank them. Then I realize it really is a dream. I think what to do and have no concrete idea, so I just lift off in the air to try to prank these believers by claiming to be some celestial apparition, but it doesn't go as planned. I feel a very intense undescribable sensation in my mind, as if I am not just flying, but dissolving from this dream reality and I get very dizzy. I notice the dream characters don't even notice me, so what's the point of trolling them. Instead I fly away from the city and over a hill full of trees and just enjoy the landscape while thinking what to do. I latch on to the top of the tallest tree I see and wonder what would it feel to shrink to microscopic level and explore its microscopic life. So slowly I shrink myself to the size of a bug and I go down inside a crevice on the tree trunk, feeling the textures of the wood and mosses and water dripping. Then slowly shrinking more. But I eventually reach a dark crevice with dirt and I can't see a thing and feel my body stuck and unable to move. I try not to panic, think about either shrinking more or just expand to full size and blow up the tree to get out. But I doubt my abilities for a second and then I no longer can't do any of it. I wait still for a little bit but the dream isn't changing, it's just me in a dark tight hole and I feel like I can't even turn my head. I am starting to panic and wondering if I am just experiencing sleep paralysis and not on a dream anymore. So I decide it is not worth it and it is better to wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Running away and hiding from something or someone. I arrive at this small village on a hill, near a river, that I used to often dream about. Some lady stops the car and offers me a ride. I accept. She then proceeds to talk to me as if we're familiar to each other but I don't feel like we are. Until she says we met years ago in a summer camp, in this place and we used to swim on the river. Then I feel like I have been rude and say sorry, but I still don't remember. Then notice she has a kid in the car, so I say hi to the kid. I need to do some shopping, so she takes me on to a local supermarket. Then it gets weirder. Everybody looks at me like I am a foreigner. Then at the cashier, I am surprised that a jar of olives I picked up is over 50€. I tell the cashier to please put it back as I am not taking it and he goes ballistic. Says he won't, that it is the shop policy that anything you bring to the cashier, you have to pay and take with you. I refuse and say that's insane. My so-called friend actually says I should because it is like this around here and nobody breaks the rule, it's the law. So I just drop everything I was going to buy and walk away not buying anything. They say if I don't pay for it all and take it with me, they will call the police. I am increasingly befuddled and decide to just run away before the cops come.