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i remembered a couple dreams from last night

1. I really wanted to get a new car. It was this orange one with black leather seats and i remember it had offloading tires on it. It was going up for auction but once i got to the auction place to buy it the systems went down right as mine came up. I had to sit there and watch other people looking at the car i wanted and i started to get worried the price would be too high. Then all of a sudden the scene skipped and i was in this shoe area (i think i said jc penny but it looked nothing like jc penny, it was darkish and shoes were everywhere) Shane comes out and says something about a pair of shoes. I told him your easily be able to find a pair of shoes its jc penny. Then my mom comes in and i was wondering if she bought the car for me. I was starting to think she was going to get it for jade, but she did, she got it for me. I went outside and i started to think why did i buy an orange car? I really wanted to get it sprayed but i remembered i only had 600 in my account and the job was going to cost about another 200. This scenario is weird because i don't like the color of my car now and this is a similar scenario. The next thing i remember in this dream is being with my dad in front of this blue mustang with black rims and it was lowered in the back. He then said the mustang was for sale. I opened the door and there were 6 regular house speakers on the dash. (i thought this was acceptable for some reason) i asked him what he was looking to get out of it he said 8,500. I was annoyed because i think i just payed around 10 for my littly shitty orange car that i didn't like.

2. We went to go see this lady and she was selling stuff. I remember one item in particular was a dog. (the night before this dream i went to go see a lady to buy furniture from her and she had a dog) so I'm thinking it was connected. the scene was dark and the next part i remember was she started to cry. I remember feeling so bad i felt like i had to pay more for the items. But i realized i shouldn't and i told my dad that.

Now this is two dreams, but they combine into one, and I wouldn't have considered it two dreams except I woke up and wrote part of it in my DJ next to my bed and then I went back to sleep.

I was with my family watching Lord of the Rings. It looked nothing like any of them, but if I had to guess I would guess it was The Two Towers, since their were wargs in it. I was watching the television, but as it always does, I kind of jump into the television. However, instead of taking control of a character like I normally do, I just watched it in third person. Not much to say about the fight, it wasn't in Middle Earth, it was actually in a neighborhood. I zoomed out of the TV and back into my parents house, I automatically knew that they were filming right outside.

I went out and started talking to a Gondorian, he was complaining about how much it hurts to put his armor on, and how much it hurts when the fake Warg bites him. They packed up and left, leaving me in a backyard, but it was the dark red of night falling. I knew I should go inside, but I didn't really think about it. It became night and a Wolf came around the corner (I do not know if it was a Werewolf, but I could have been, I was thinking about the task of this month right before I went to bed). It jumped at me and I kicked it, I snapped its teeth at my arm and I snapped my hand back, the wolf started moving in slow motion, or I just started thinking in fast motion, because I was moving way faster, I pulled my entire arm out of the way of the mouth, but I could feel the teeth with my hand as the jaws closed and barely missed. He jumped at my again and I grabbed his head and threw him away. I walked back home.

This was a pretty intense battle, and I became very vivid from this point on, and I had almost my entire brain there. Normally fighting a dog would seem weird, but my occupation for the past couple of years has led me to fight about 50 dogs without a weapon in people's back yards. I haven't been bitten yet.

I crawled in my parents doggy door and start talking to some people inside. somehow I get back outside and I try to crawl back in again, but the door is way too small, and my dad tells me not to. I get back inside on the computer. I am showing people quotes from Lord of the Rings off of IMDB
"Brandon, get off the computer." I look at the time, it reads 6:59.
"I have to leave to work at seven, so I'll be off in a minute." I reply.
"Sure you will." He says, in a knowing voice that makes me look at the clock again 7:05 it reads.
"That is weird! It said 6:59 one second ago!" I know I have to get to work, so I woke up.

When I wake up, it was 6:44. I was really mad about that, because I had 10 more minutes to sleep, and I had just done a reality check that failed! It also didn't feel like waking up normally feels like, it felt like I woke myself up.

I promised I would write something about persistent realms, and also some other techniques I use when lucid dreaming.
Took me a bit longer than expected because I have a difficult time finding the right words to describe my thoughts.
I quite frankly have no idea if these techniques will work for anyone else,
so this is by no means supposed to be a tutorial, or anything like that.
I'm merely explaining how I do something and what my thoughts about it are.
Maybe, if you are trying to do something similar, there's an idea or two you might find useful.
Basically, I'm giving you a "behind the scenes" look on a dream where I "created" a persistent realm, explaining when I use certain techniques that are not apparent just by reading the DJ entry.
I highlighted important stuff and techniques in bold in case this is too much text and you simply want to skip over it.
Anyways... here goes.

What is a persistent realm?
It's a term I use to describe certain kinds of dreams I have.
Dreams that are persistent, meaning where your actions have consequences, dreams you can resume each night where you left off.
So why do I call them "realms"?
Well, for me these kinds of dreams are a bit more than just persistent.
There are a few more unique characteristics to them:

• Persistence - When you "enter" a realm, you "resume" the dream where you left of last time. (more or less)
• Consequences - Because of the persistence, every action you take has consequences. If you change something it will remain changed forever. For example, people will remember you and the conversations you've had with them.
• Laws & Dream Powers - A realm has a set of laws of physics (fitting the setting of the realm), which may be different from waking life. There may be ways to cast magic for example. You can learn, understand, use (and abuse) these laws, but you can never do anything that violates them. (Such as using dream powers) If a character does something ridiculous then it means that there is a law enabling him to do so, and you most likely can learn to do the same thing.
• Realism - Those dreams feel pretty damn real. I assume the main reason behind this (besides the technique I use) is that all dream characters are intelligent. You won't encounter the typical "derpy" DC who seems completely lost. DC's are intelligent and follow their own agenda. Their actions can be completely unexpected.

How does one create a persistent realm?
It took me some time to come up with an idea for that one.
As I mentioned earlier it's not really a technique.
It's more of a state of mind kind of thing... it's difficult to come up with an explanation.
I guess the best way I can explain it is by fully elaborating on my train of thoughts.
That unfortunately means a LOT of text, but I really don't see a better way of doing this.

I am fully aware that fully persistent dreams are possible because I have experienced them for many years.
The realm containing Teraluna is definitely persistent and my basis for any ideas I've come up with.
The issue is that I've never knowingly created it. I've been dreaming about it ever since I was a young child.

But then I realized that this isn't the point.
The point is that it still works.
I can still go there. The persistency is never broken. I still can't use dream powers.
Why is that? Why does this never fail?
I believe the reason behind this is very simple...

Say for example you want to summon an item in a lucid dream. You need a key to unlock a door.
What do you do? You use some kind of summoning technique:

I'll just search my pockets. I might have it on me? Why else would I come to a locked door if I wouldn't have the key?

This is a trick of course. One that works rather well.
Just searching your pockets is a common and easy summoning technique in lucid dreams.
Guiding your thoughts towards believing that the chances are high that you have that item on you will futher increase the summoning chances.
So guiding your thoughts is an interesting technique to keep in mind.
But something more important first:

When you succeed and find the key, something very obvious happens.
Something easily overlooked.
Once you find that key and you hold it in your hand... it won't disappear.
I mean, why would it? It doesn't make any sense for an item to just vanish.
So what's the reason behind that?

The key won't disappear because I know that it won't disappear.

Is it really that simple?

The realm of Teraluna is persistent, because I know it to be persistent.

Is that all there is to it? Is the answer that simple?
But there's another thought anchored somewhere deep within my mind

I know that creating a persistent realm must be extremely difficult.

Such a train of thoughts is toxic to lucid dreams.
It's there because of many reasons.

• I've never managed to create a persistent realm at will, so it must be hard.
• Creating entire realms feels like an overwhelmingly big task.
• You don't often hear people claiming to have done this so it must be hard.

The list goes on.
While some of these deeply anchored thoughts benefit you, others, like the ones I just listed, disable you.
In my opinion they are absolutely crucial to lucid dreams.

At this point it is clear to me what the technique to create such a persistent realm must encompass:
1) Bypass the I know that creating a persistent realm must be extremely difficult. thought, create a new realm and access it.
2) Make yourself "know" that his is a persistent realm. You can go back whenever you want.

But you cannot just selectively remove ideas that are so deeply anchored within your mind and insert new ones.
That just doesn't work. You can't just decide to "know" something.
You can think about it, educate yourself on it, discuss it,
and eventually it might change. But you cannot consciously edit something you "know".
If you think about it, it happens all the time though. Your ideas, beliefs and even knowledge changes, in the blink of an eye.
It just happens.
And I argue that this process happens sub-consciously.
I also argue that you are able to interact with your sub-conscious in different ways when you are dreaming,
albeit in no way that I think anyone fully understands.

Think about the example with summoning a key I used earlier.
I guided my thoughts towards believing that I already had the key on me.
I never directly thought that the key must be in my pocket.
I merely started a train of thoughts and let my sub-conscious finish it for me.
This is something extremely powerful in dreams, if you can do it.
This doesn't always work of course, but it is such a versatile and powerful tool, albeit difficult to control.

Expectations, hope, fear, they all play a very important role during dreams.
When you first learn to fly, you do so by trying to do it over and over again, thus increasing your expectations that it will work with every small success you have.
But creating entire realms is not really a process that can be learned like that, it simply takes too long.
A more instantanious method is required, like the one used in summoning the key.

Understanding this, I was able to come up with a technique that works for me.
Creating, or rather going to a new realm is pretty straightforward, all I need to use is a teleportation technique.
Making myself believe or "know" that this is a persistent realm is the tricky part.
I need to guide my thoughts towards believing this, without actually thinking that I am guiding my thoughts towards this goal, and without finishing it consciously.

I hope this makes sense...
Anyways, here are some DJ snippets from an entry where I tried to do this very thing,
with my current thoughts on it.

Creating a fully persistent realm
I get out of bed and rather quickly become aware that I am dreaming.
Going through my usual routine of rubbing my hands and remembering my current dream goals,
I eventually remember that I wanted to try the whole persistent realm thing again.
Last time ended in a disaster, but after my recent reflections on the topic I'm somewhat confident
that I'll manage to do it again. And maybe this time I won't die like an idiot half an hour in.
This is a difficult task, so I further increase my lucidity until I feel it has reached a sufficient level.

I do this using a technique I use both for stabilization and increased lucidity.
I have found that for me, the stability of my dreams and my level of lucidity is strongly (but not exclusively) related
to how clearly and reasonably I'm thinking.
By forcing myself to solve rather complex problems, using mostly logic, and verifying that I have solved them correctly,
I manage to assure that I am indeed thinking clearly.
Knowing this I am very confident that my dream will remain stable, and that I will maintain a high level of lucidity.
This is somewhat crucial for this task, because it all revolves around a rather complex and entirely mental technique.

I breathe in deeply and exhale, whilst stretching to prepare myself for the task at hand.
I am amused by the realization that stretching a dream body makes little sense, but quickly focus on the task at hand again.
I try to relax myself as much as I can.
I imagine myself standing inside of a bubble containing the current dream.
A bubble created solely by my sub-conscious.
I need to push myself out of it in order to go to real worlds.

This is important.
If you want to experience an entire world or setting (Hogwarts, Middle-Earth...), never try to create it right in front of you.
There will be inconsistencies, DCs will go out of character, forget what they're supposed to do...
In my experience, it just doesn't work right.
Instead try to go there.
Don't create Hogwarts, instead go to the real Hogwarts.

I do this by leaving my dream bubble (just a bubble containing my current dream), and going to an entirely new place.
Doing so I have an easier time believing that I am in a real place, and not in a dream controlled by my own sub-conscious,
which renders dreams much more realistic.

I drift away from my dream body, quickly reaching the limits of my small dream bubble, which only encompassed my house.
As I gain distance, I find myself in a place that resembles a galaxy. My dream bubble is a very faint star, quickly becoming invisible within
the sea of bigger and much more vibrant stars.
It is cold and dark out here.
I understand that these stars are other realms, which I can probably visit.
This time I won't just pick one at random though.
I would love to have a persistent realm in a sci-fi universe.
I float from star to star waiting for something to indicate such a sci-fi universe I suppose.
Whilst I don't receive such a sign, one star catches my attention for no apparent reason.
I nearly dismiss the thought before realizing that I might as well go with this one, as nothing special is happening.

Intuition is another powerful tool in lucid dreams.
When you are lost, or if you need to take a decision without knowing which one is beneficial to you, go with your intuition.
It manifests itself in different ways, but most often as no more than a faint feeling, which you'll usually dismiss
unless you consciously look out for them.
Obviously, your intuition isn't always right, and it is difficult to tell it apart from your own imagination in dreams.
But when you have nothing to go on, intuition is always better than nothing.

I approach the star, which is considerably increasing in size as I get closer, pondering on how I entered a new realm last time.
But I have no time to finish that thought. I am drawn into the realm by a superior force and loose vision for no more than a split second.
A new scene pops up instantaneously, as if someone had punched me in the face.
There is no blurriness, no transition period as is common with scene changes in dreams, nothing like that at all.
The new scene is just there.

First steps in a new world
I am quite disorientated. It is very loud. There's people talking all around me.
Apparently I'm queuing for something. I try to look around to get an idea as to where I am, but this proves
rather difficult as there's people all around me, most of them a little taller than I am.
I need to get out of the crowd.
Fortunately, it looks like I was next in line for whatever people are queuing for anyways.
I pass a man and faintly hear him say "Passport please!", but it barely registers.

Whilst I did hear him say that, the thought never registered.
I immediately forgot about it, and was only reminded of it a few seconds later:

I need to see if this place is real or if I ended up my own dream bubble.
Someone grabs onto my shoulder and stops me rather unexpectedly...
I just keep moving because whomever that is is of no importance to the dream.

When I know that a DC isn't important, and I decide not to interact with them, they will always disappear.
This is somewhat crucial, because without this the following wouldn't have surprised me as much as it did.

"HEY!"

I can't seem to shake myself loose and turn around rather annoyed.

"What?"

The man who stopped me is wearing some kind of uniform and is looking at me rather angrily.
He's resting his right hand on what appears to be a holstered firearm.

"I said PASSPORT PLEASE."

Huh? What?
He's slowly moving his gun out of his holster.
Finally it strikes me.
This is not my dream.
This is real.
I'm in trouble.

There were a lot of thoughts shooting through my mind at that moment.
No dream character would ever behave like that. I never investigated that thought any further, because it all seemed so obvious.
I realized at that moment that I had succeeded. The realm was real.
Fortunately, due to the trouble I was in, I never followed up on that thought, so I never questioned the conclusion I came to.

"Wow, I'm so sorry, I was completely lost in thoughts there."

That should buy me a few seconds. He rolls his eyes and pushes his gun back into the holster.
He holds out some kind of tablet device to me, clearly expecting me to do something with my passport.
Fortunately, a quick glance to my side reveals a person in another queue wiping something credit card sized over a similar device, and attaching it to her belt.
I quickly search my belt, hoping that I have a similar card and I get lucky.
I mimic the motion of the other person, which is followed by a rather friendly beep from the device I swiped the card over.
That sounded like it worked.

"Haha, sorry about that."

He couldn't care less. He has already turned his back towards me.

At this point I was completely absorbed by the dream.
The thought that this might just be a normal dream never occured to me.
I knew that this place was real, which in return means that it is persistent and that I will be able to go back to it.
It worked, and it did so rather quickly, without taking much of an action at all.
I didn't actively guide my thoughts much, besides the teleportation technique I used.
But I didn't have to, because my state of mind about persistent realms carried over into my dream.
My sub-conscious solved the problem for me.
It came up with a scenario that would trick itself into thinking that I was a visitor in another realm.

Orientation
If in your lucid adventures, you ever find yourself in a situation where you have no idea where you are and what you are doing there, check your pockets!
It might sound obvious, but in dreams you often don't think about doing the obvious.
Realize that it makes no sense for you to be anywhere with empty pockets.
At the very least you should have your wallet on you, but more importantly, you might have something on you indicating what you are here for.

I get away from the crowd and find myself in a very large hallway.
There's windows on both sides, revealing that I am in orbit around a planet.
Holy shit I'm in space!
Spaaaace station~

But I'm completely lost. I have no idea where I am or even who I am.
Alright... one step at a time.
I start moving towards the end of the hallway, but draw my focus towards the contents of my pockets.
I empty them both, whilst still walking, and investigate their contents.

I have on me:

• The passport thing
• Some kind of crystal, consisting of rectengular shapes. It might be a key.
• A small package with another credit card looking thing attached to it.

A key? Oooooooh.
I might have a spaceship!
How awesome would that be? Yeah. I definitely have a spaceship.
I put everything back into my pockets and check where I currently am.

I find myself in front of hangar 4, which is of course a spaceship hangar.

See what I did there?
I solved 2 problems at the same time. I didn't just investigate the contents of my pockets.
Before doing so, I started walking into a direction that took me away from where I previously was.
Putting my focus on something else put my body into auto-pilot.
You know, like when you're gaming with your friends late at night, and you quickly go downstairs to grab something to drink, but your thoughts are entirely focused on the game?
Sometimes you find yourself back in front of your pc with a cold beverage, without really remembering the process of getting it. (Or maybe my gaming addiction is just out of control )
You can abuse this in dreams if you want to go somewhere, but you don't know how to get there, or if you simply have no idea where to go.
It can be tricky at first, because you can't stop thinking about it, but you'll quickly get a hang of it.
In this case I got the idea of the key being for my spaceship mid-way. (Spaceships use ignition keys, just like cars right? *cough*)
My body automatically walked me towards where this spaceship is, even though I did not know where it was.
Somewhere deep within my thoughts I knew that I had gotten to this space station somehow.
If the key indicates that I own a spaceship, then I would have arrived in this spaceship, and I would also remember where I parked it.
Putting myself in "autopilot" I can walk to locations that make sense for me to know within the dream plot, even if I don't consciously know where they are.

There's quite a few small spaceships in here.
All sorts of contraptions, reaching from luxury boats to things that are close to falling apart.
Is one of them mine? Which one is mine?
I go deeper into the hangar to get a better view of all the ships and then I spot her.

Yeah... there's no doubt whatsoever. That must be mine.
She's reasonably sized, bigger than a jet fighter, but smaller than say the space shuttle orbiter.
And she has... uh... let's say she has seen some better times?
It seems like there used to be a layer of paint on it, but that's nearly peeled off entirely.
There are many dents on the outer hull, surrounded by dark dust.
Probably projectile impacts, judging by the consistent size and patterns.
There's quite an abundant amount of scratches on it as well.
And... is that a heat shield?
Oh god...
The heat shield is mostly pitch black, but you can clearly see in some spots that it is supposed to be a red / golden color.
Might have had a few atmospheric re-entries at optimistic speeds...
There are a few hull plates of inconsistent size that are clearly newer than the rest of the hull.
A few patched up holes...?

What a piece of shit...
I absolutely love it!
I wouldn't have it any other way. This is so me. This feels right.
And compared to the other ships in this hangar it clearly has the largest engine to ship ratio!
I get a bit of a Han Solo esque vibe.

As I approach it a large chunk of the hull plating slides itself forward, revealing an airlock.
A ramp extends just in time so I can get to it easily.
The airlock opens automatically as I get close enough and closes behind me as I go through...

Your sub-conscious has the unique ability of shaping your dreams in such a way that you can experience something beyond your expectations and your imagination.
However, things will not always go according to plan, and may even seem unpleasant at first.
But given enough lucid dreams you'll find out that you can find enjoyment, even in things that do not seem pleasant at first.
The best example I have for this is pain.
Obviously you wouldn't want to experience pain in your dreams right?
I thought so for a long time, but I realized I was wrong after a rather epic fight, where I could feel every single cut and bruise on my body.
It made the fight feel so much more real and important, it increased the experience as a whole.
If you've ever played a pen&paper rpg, you probably know that it can be more interesting to play more of a "normal" character.
You don't always need to be the hero with the best equipment, who is destined to save the world.
In dreams there's joy to be found everywhere. It will find you, all you have to do is accept it.

Survival
I wasn't sure at first whether or not I should mention this, due to the toxic thoughts I wrote of earlier.
But yeah, the whole persistent realm thing comes at a price: it is persistent.
Well duh, of course it is.
But in my case this means that my life is persistent as well.
If I die in a persistent realm I can never go back to that realm.
I've lost 2 of them due to death, and I tried getting back to one of them for quite a long time, but eventually I gave up.
I guess it is better this way. It makes the other realms feel more valuable and my decisions more important.
Regardless, I suggest that you value your life, should have similar persistent dreams.
However, in order to progress in your dreams you will occasionally need to make a leap of faith.
Make sure that you take them sparsely, and that intuition is on your side.

Going back
This is rather straightforward. I just teleport with the intention of going back to the realm.
I do this as soon as I can after creating the realm (next stable lucid), so my thoughts about it are still fresh.
I try to visit it as often as I can during the following days, so that everything settles in.
Once I've gone there a few times my confidence is so high that I can't really imagine loosing the ability to resume the realm whenever
I desire to do so.





In case you want to try to do something similar to my persistent realms technique, here's a few suggestions:

• You'll need a teleportation technique. As I mentioned earlier, creating is bad, going to is good. There's no need to copy my teleportation technique though. Any technique should work fine, use what you feel most comfortable with.
• Don't actively try to find something that indicates that the realm "must be real". You cannot force the issue. The realization has to strike you unexpectedly. Having the correct state of mind in waking life, and simply intending to go to such a realm should be all you need to do.
  If the epiphany doesn't happen, just try again.
• If something is completely off (DC's are retarded, something clearly violates the law of your realm...) just consider this attempt a failure, and try again next time. Never attempt to fix it using dream powers.
• You need good dream recall with a good lucid rate so you can go back multiple times over the course over the next few days.
  You also need a high level of lucidity, so that you can quickly process complex thoughts properly.

Anyways, that's more than enough text for a single entry.
If you have any thoughts or questions about persistent realms and/or other techniques I use, by all means, post ahead.

I was watching a movie with my mother. It was an abstract, independent horror film. It was disturbing in a very unusual way and it was black and white.

I become a part of the horror movie. I am now the main character.

I'm in a dark room. It's so dark I can't even see the walls. All that I can see is a little girl playing with a doll. But there is something standing behind her. It has long claws and burnt, black skin.

It reaches around her, she screams. The creature crushes the little girl's bones with his strength, and squeezes her until blood begins to drip out of her like a squeezed orange.



His black claws are so long that they encompass her entire body, squeezing every last drip of life out of her.

I am surrounded in the dark by this horrific creature. I run into the darkness.

I witness many deaths from this creature.

I find myself in a small castle. A symphony is playing in the middle of the room. There isn't any audience, just the symphony.

I listen to the man who plays the cello. The sound of his cello reverberates on every wall and comes back to my ears as perfection. He seems to lead the symphony with the melody of his cello.

I sense a change of atmosphere.

I am standing next to the staircase, above the symphony. I had been watching the man with the cello for so long that I had forgotten about the darkness, but felt it again.

I looked to my left and down the stone hallway. For a moment I thought I saw a presence. Things were turning black and white again, and the symphony began to slide their perfect melody into something darker.

"Not the cello player, not the cello player!" I think to myself, longing for whatever is coming to avoid him and his enchanting music.

I don't know where the creature is, but I can sense that it is getting closer.

I hear footsteps to my left. But then I hear them to my right.

I quickly glance to make sure everyone in the symphony is still alive, but when I look back up I see the darkness is beginning to return.

"Not the cello player, not him!" I scream in my mind.

I hear the clawing of the creature's claws against the marble. But I still can't tell where he is. I can feel him approaching. I hear his groan.

He appears below me, having crawled up the staircase's wall.

"It's not him I want, it's you," his raspy dark voice echoes towards me from the lowest layers of hell.

I paralyze in fear.

"And - It's you that is the monster, my dear."

Truth hit me like a bullet. It was me that had killed all of those innocent people, but I blocked that memory from my mind and replaced it with something that I could reason with. Because I had committed crimes only a monster could live with.

"And so I've clawed my way up from hell to drag you back down with me," the angel of darkness sneered.

I immediately woke up and was frozen in heavy sleep paralysis. My room was warping around me.

I slipped back into the darkness and continued to run, darkness chasing darkness.

I woke back up to sleep paralysis and eventually managed to get out of it.

Art Credit

10-02-2012 -- [Am out of work, broke, and have no money to buy bananas or apple juice or anything else that sometimes helps with recall, so for several days I haven't remembered much from my dreams. But last night I remembered lots of fragments. Most of the stuff is gone, but the bits that still remain a little in my mind are fun, and worth writing down. The first bit is actually from a couple of weeks ago, but hasn't been entered yet, and since I again couldn't remember most of it, just decided to add it to the bits here.]

Am out fishing in streams outside a nice apartment complex. Inside the complex itself, I run into a friend (Joel K.?) who is being seduced by some sort of Femme Fatale. I manage to grab his attention, and we rush off by car to some sort of parking warehouse where I can pick up my own car. As I am getting my car, the femme fatale has again found Joel, and is giving him her car. It has key-less entry, and for some reason she is really enjoying telling him the code is 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... KABOOM! For some reason I find this very funny.

Anyway, Joel has taken to the road in her car, and we're trying to catch his attention. I soon find myself driving down a damaged and under construction freeway on the wrong side of the road with traffic flooding towards me. I manage to drive onto the shoulder and turn around, just to find there is a sports stadium on the other side of the freeway, and somebody is shooting at me from the top of the stands. I manage to escape that, but now have cops chasing me, until I drive to a police station to talk to them about all that has been going on.

---

Incredibly little from this one. Something about watching a police chase on TV that spreads to three screens (ala Impressions de France at EPCOT) before somehow turning live, and I'm the one being chased by cops. Not sure, but think I was in a dark green, big, powerful, older car.

---

Again, mostly missing. At some sort of event taking place at some sort of grade school with little kids, except the physical campus is Brookhurst Junior High. Parts of this refer back to, and directly connect to a dream I once had that involved a job feeding a dog in a mobile home park while the owners were on vacation (or simply working further back in the area). While it was a real dream, I do not know if I ever wrote it down or posted it, and since it was possibly three or four years ago, too many dreams to go through to try and find it.

There are hints of Christmas decorations and perhaps Knott's Berry farm, and I think there is some dancing in the quad. Strange stuff. At one point, I walk into an office. Am thinking about speaking to somebody about something, but it is crowded, busy, and I have forgotten what I want to speak about, anyway. So I just stand around for a couple minutes, then leave.

I soon find myself at home in the Hickory house, where I am heading to my second bedroom to maybe get some sleep. The door is missing to the front hall, but the space is partly blocked by a bookcase so there is no access, but also no privacy. The kitchen door is the one used to access the room. I go in and am going to try to take a nap, but Percy Weasley comes in and says they are worried about me, and he is going to take my blood pressure.

Cheryl (daughter of my landlord) comes in after that, and it turns out Percy is her son. The blood pressure cuff they have seems small and frail, and I think it isn't going to fit on my arm, but it does. Percy gives the bulb very weak squeezes, and there is almost no pressure, and they get a reading of about 140/xx, which isn't too bad for me. But I don't trust it because they pumped it up so little. So I take the thing, and am holding the pump in the hand of the arm which I'm taking the reading from, while trying to hold the stethoscope in the other hand, and start to pump myself up. It is very uncomfortable, and the pressure on my arm is really bad, and it is kind of cramping up.

[Woke to find I had somehow gotten into a position where my arm was jammed between the headboard of my bed and my head in a very tight position, and it had gone completely to sleep in such a way that it was quite painful, and took me about two minutes to get the blood flowing properly again ... likely causing the entire last bit of the dream.]

---

[I wish most of this wasn't gone ... it was great stuff, but I can remember almost none of it.] I am Harry Potter, and I am involved in some sort of war, but it is not a magical war. It seems to be a muggle war, but against alien invaders. Many of the women in this dream are not aliens, but were just kidnapped by them, or affected by them. Though one was certainly an alien, a very light green tint to her skin, and very light fur all over her body, though still attractive.

As we're wandering around the barracks, these women are just appearing, either on the ground, or in mid-air a few feet above the ground, and just dropping. They're all nude, and very horny, and the kinds of things you would kind of expect to happen in such a dream are happening. Frequently.

Thing is, this leads to a very relaxed, happy, and determined unit. We've got a bunch of bright, sexy women supporting us, and we have no desire to lose them, so we become a very productive group of soldiers who are accomplishing a heck of a lot. And who follow none of the regular protocols or procedures. So the higher-ups hate us, but can't get rid of us. It doesn't hurt that the Weasley twins spend a lot of time developing both pranks and weapons for us, the pranks of which they frequently test out on us, to our combined amusement and annoyance.

I'm not sure, but I am pretty sure a lot of this involved chases through mazes of dark, foreboding buildings and collapsing ruins based on the Darkmeyer quests I have been doing in Runescape over the last couple of days.

---

Another dream after a brief awakening, taking place in the same universe as the last one, though now I am just myself, not Harry Potter. It is now several years later, the war is over, and a lot of us involved are just thinking about writing, both fiction and non-fiction about the war.

I run across Radar O'Reilly, who is one of the upper ranks, but still one of the guys. He is nowhere near in charge, of course, but he is pretty high up by this point. He is writing fond reminiscence about attractive alien ladies running around in outfits that *gasp* actually let their belly buttons show. I don't know if he is just ignoring the nudity, or his mind just refused to show him more than belly buttons, but it comes across kind of sweet.

I wander into Kevin B's living room to try and speak to him about a couple of plot ideas, but he is trying to chat up two lovely (no longer nude) aliens, trying to get some action, and tries to distract me by handing me a couple of TV series script treatments he has written up. I just sit them on a stack of such that he is getting ready to send off to try and interest people, and wander off to try and find my own sweet alien ladies.

I'm walking towards the living room, and I notice the door is open. When I go to close it I see some unknown lady about to walk in. My pops comes out of nowhere, and she tells him she has a problem with her puppy. Turns out it has rabies. So he has me mix water, garlic, and sugar in a blinder and he puts it in a syringe. She asks how to deliver the shot, and he tells her "test it on the dogs dead brother first". Finally I see the puppy. It looks like a sled dog. I was going to ask them if they had anymore...but the whole rabies thing......yeah....not so great.

Thoughts
Lucid
Non lucid

06:24 AM, Monday 01 October 2012
I am at the mall and I see some boys in a store some out next to a counter. They are being rough and bump each other. The dad scalds them. Then we are outside and they are playing in the dirt. The dad joins them. Then I notice we are all playing in around a giant chocolate cake. It looks like brownies. It was chest high. I take a hand full and taste it. It was dry and little flavor.

02:34 AM, Monday 01 October 2012
Kids trapped in a vortex from Once Upon A Time. Daughter is shrunk in cereal like HISTK. I can hear her voice but not see her.

03:00 AM, Tuesday 02 October 2012
I am driving in heavy snow on a familiar road in Joplin. I come to a strange intersection and see Wurlnan in front. I don't stop in time and slide past him in to the intersection. I wave at Wurlman as I pass him. I maneuver through on coming traffic and get in the middle without getting hit. I try to follow behind wurlman. I can't remember what car he had I was focused on his face as much as possible. Some I get in front of him. Then there is a sudden avalanche. We are no longer in cars. Its more like a hallway that is pack to the ceiling with snow. I dig through the snow and see the rest of the hallway and a bedroom at the end. I turn around and see that my car is now my mattress in RL. I see Wurlman behind me and I shake his hand. I am happy to meet him. I say, "Hi... a..a....aurth..ur?. I feel confused why I called him Aurthur. I say,"Nice to finally meet you". Some dude that living the house says, "I guess you should stay. The powe can be out for weeks in a storm like this."
I say, "Ooooooh nah man. Shitty. But I don't no what else to do. I look at the matress and doorway and I see that it can barley fit. I walk in the bedroom and I see a matress and box springs with no frame. It has a wild and crazy pattern on the sheets like my wife lounging pants. I see my son lying on the bed crying. I say to everyone, "Well it looks like we woke up my infant son."

07:24 AM, Tuesday 02 October 2012
Working out in a gym. Strange looking weights. Not matching up. Just want dumb bells.

11:05 AM, Tuesday 02 October 2012
I am riding my bike really fast. Suddenly the path drops off about 6 feet down. There is a 2 lane road cut through the middle of the hill. I can't stop and think to pull up on my front to land more on my back. I see I'm too high up and will get hurt. I try to turn. I land on solid level ground and lightly flop over on my butt with my bike next to me. I see that I am on the other side and I must have flew over it. I start laughing so hard. "Ha ha... ha ha. I can't believe I just did that. Haha... haha. I Can't wait to tell Krystal at work." I get up and see an old man at a church looking at me. Get back on my bike to show that I am not hurt. (I always have my phone and use an app called endomondo to track my cycling) I look at my phone. This time my app id different. I see points on GPS like google maps markers. One says "OB". I think, "Oh it's OpheliaBlue. She must have been nearby." I think I should go see her at her house but realize she doesn't live anywhere near here. I decide to go into the church to rest. I realize that I am out of breath from riding and should rest after that crazy experience.
Inside the church I see two ministers talking about religion. I can't remember verbatim but they are talking about how they hate 'religionism' being taught. One told the other how at one church someone "ikipikied" him. I laugh to myself. He is talking about speaking in tongues. I think omg they are describing the Pentecostals. I leave and think I want to go to this church later.
I go back outside and see that my back wheel got bent when I landed. The wheel just falls off and I see the rest of the bike falling to peices.


There is something about a woman cop who is a witch. She doesn't know it. She reads minds but in doing so she drains some the essence of people. Another witch is explaining this. We are walking thru a fair. She says, "So many people and they don't know who's coming." I see little boys every where looking at me. They are wearing shades. One has a cup with a open bottom. I have camera and I play with him and growl.

Suddenly I walk through the front door of my house. I see Naomi sitting on the couch. We talk something about a carrier cover for the baby. I say my wife doesn't like that one. I sit on couch next to her but it is odd. Like am slouching and laying down. I see Daisy and she snuggles with her.

Ok just after writing about how annoying my dreams have been lately I remembered this one
I was in my hometown setting up my booth at the bluegrass festival my mom used to vend at in front of our booth where 2 guys one the recurring dream guy. I said hi and introduced myself and shook their hands . then continued setting up then I heard a small child cry so I grabbed a toy out of my bag and gave it to the parents to give to them, I remember hinting to the guy in my dreams about how to find me in rl without talking to him how odd.
then My hubby asks if hes gonna need me I said go enjoy the music tomorrow is the bigger day. then all of a sudden everyone id packing up. My hubby says its because the celebrity is signing autographs down the street and he brings me to the line it was out of a kitchen ,(I am not one to fawn over famous people I really just normally do not care) So as I am walking into the line my ipod starts losing wires and I am pulling and pulling the thread like wires but it still plays. I get in line its long (I have never sat in line for an autograph but I think it might be like that) the guy in the line says hes only got an hour left in him of signing . I look at the line and think well maybe i should just walk back but they select people from the line and I am the last I walk into this reastruant.
He grabs my ipod and an asks if he could borrow this cd that magiclly popped into my hand it was a 2 disk of bowie he asks if its my favorite and i say yes. he pops it into a cd players then signs a newspaper for me. pushing red paint all over the thing in blocks and hands it to me . I think ok odd. but when i leave my hubby asks if it says anything I look at it and yes it does it says meet me at the main gate. I remember my cd and go back and grab it. then I walk out and remember I forgot my ipod I tell the guy sorry I am not stalking you I just seem to keep foregtting stuff .

woke up then went back to sleep forgot all the other dreams. I think I have a better understanding of why I have been forgetting my dreams now lol how odd.

Thoughts
Lucid
Non lucid dream
Inductions/aids/factors

So I decided to do the alarm clock thing this morning. I set it for 5:00am and hit snooze for 15 until the next alarm. I did this for about an hour. I was trying to DEILD/WILD but it gave me a DILD instead. That's fine DRY SPELL OVER

I am running in the woods. There are leaves on the ground. I dive head first into a thicket. I turn around and see several Indians in deerskin walking in a small valley. I don't focus on them. I want my bow and arrows. I realize I left them on the others side of the valley. I think maybe one of my daughters will get it for me. No. That's preposterous. So I a say, Screw it." I walk toward the valley and say, "Computer, freeze program." Everything freezes. The Indians the tress the leaves on the ground.After I walk past the Indians, I kept repeating to myself, "Computer, freeze program.Computer, freeze program.Computer, freeze program.Computer, freeze program.Computer, freeze program.Computer, freeze program." The thought was that if I forgot about them being frozen they would either be gone or unfrozen when I turned around. Something about it feels familiar and I remember freezing time in lucid dreamsThis immediately dawns on me that I am dreaming. It's strange but I felt almost annoyed and cheated. I felt like I botched up the surprise attack on the Indians and now its just some dream. I didn't feel any of the euphoria that I thought I would after a dry spell. I just turn around. I never picked up my bow but I suddenly have an arrow notched and drawn back. I can vividly feel the string and the arrow in my right hand. Now my vision is blurry and I can see the Indian and the brown leaves on the ground but I can't make out any details. I pause. "What was the TOTM?" I have to think really hard. "Was it shrink myself?" No that was last month. Its a new month now. OH Zombies that's right. Where do I find a zombie. I know I will shoot an Indian and when he gets up he will be a zombie and he can bite my arm. I start looking around but the Indians are gone and my vision is so blurry. I try to focus but I just can't. I feel like I am waking so I decide that I better stabilize. I start rubbing my hands together. I feel myself in my bed and my hands feel extremely real. I can even hear my hands rubbing together. I try to open my eyes but It looks all messed up like when you are in SP. I don't feel any vibrations though. I am confused. I feel and heard my hands but not so much my arms. Then I hear my wife say,"Punch em in the mouth." What was that? That can't be real. OR I woke her up some and she is talking in her sleep. Then the Goddamned alarm went off and effed it all up

So I think I could have totally DEILD but the alarm got me. I think I was probably in SP but I wasn't feeling the vibrations. Which is unusual for me BUT I suppose its entirely possible not to since some do and some don't. I wonder if I am changing or if it just is going to be the same every time. BLEH! It feels like as soon as I understand my body it wants to change the rules on me. That's OK I'll adjust. I will be the DEILD master eventually

EDIT:I later found out that she was actually sitting up awake with the baby while this was going on an she told me she said nothing. So it was definitely hallucination.

I think this section will help me remember what works and what doesn't so here I go. Also, I know I try to be a purist and I may have told someone of you that I am going that direction but I think once in awhile aids are helpful and OK.

Aids
I was off today so last night I drank a whole bottle of homemade wine. Don't worry the alcohol content was fairly low or wine... 9%ish?
D3 8000ui - seems to make things more vivid and lighten my mood
Potassuim - 3600mg for restless legs and I seem to have a higher chance for when combined with alcohol lucids when I take a large amount.

I rarely try the above methods. It may or may not have an effect anyway.

Inductions
CALD - I summoned my inmaginary friend from my childhood. Her name is Taffy. The HI continued to turn sexual so I went with random faces telling me that I am dreaming.

WBTB WILD failed

ASILD(Alarm Snooze Induced Lucid Dream. My own name for something I spoke with OB about)
ASILD produced WILD

DILD almost successful but the alarm got me

Non Dream
Non-Lucid
Lucid

I found myself riding what I thought was Temple of the Forbidden Eye at Disneyland. As the ride progressed however, I noticed significant changes and at that point I realized I was dreaming. As my lucidity started to increase, I realized I wasn't in a vehicle but was actually on a body sized flying saucer! I found I could go faster by thrusting my body forward. I was zipping through the temple until I found myself at a dead end. I was in a large empty chamber. I was getting bored with this setting so I tried to teleport myself by driving hard into the ground. I eventually succeeded after I couple attempts, left the temple, and found that I was back in my bed. A couple of seconds later, my body levitated about 6 inches of the bed and I realized it was just a false awakening. My body involuntarilly went upright into a standing position. I did a fistpump as I was finally in the postion I wanted to be in. Right after that though, I found myself back in my bed as I had forgotten to stabilize and woke for real.

It's nice to finally be back on track and end my dry spell. Also, I teleported myself for the first time to more or less where I wanted to go which was one of my goals.


Here's an updated evaluation of my dreaming skill (out of 5)

Lucid Induction Technique
Reliability-4
Recall-2
Dream Control
Enviornment-2
Plot-3
Quality-3

Dream - Lucid

I was standing in a room with a brown-haired lady with a perm. She was sitting in the back of the room on a chair, and I was standing next to her. I feel like the room was predominantly wood. We were talking, I don't remember what about, but I realized I was dreaming during the conversation. I then looked at her, though she was looking straight ahead and not at me, and said
"Well it doesn't matter anyway, this is a dream."
I don't remember what she said back to me after that. She may not have said anything at all.
I then looked straight ahead, and there was a doorway into another room. I wanted to head in there.
I then either woke up or simply lost lucidity.

~

I was at what was supposed to be my house, but it didn't look like my waking life house. Blake, my brother, was there too. Oddly, I felt like, in the dream, it was a very temporary house, a temporary stay. It was a weird concept.

Well, a chubby older woman with permed grey hair was walking around in the yard looking for something. She was wearing a lime green button up shirt with a white flower pattern. I can't remember what pants she was wearing. I went up to her, and she told me she had wanted the brown couch we had put out there to give away for free, but it was gone. She had wanted to come back and get it. She then named some other things that we had been giving away that she wanted, but none of it was there. She talked a lot. In fact, when I had walked up to her, she was talking to herself, just saying things about the couch and such. She had come back days after we put the stuff out to give it away, so no wonder she had missed it all. I told her it had all already been taken. She kept talking to me about it.

I then saw, or maybe she mentioned, that she had kids. I saw the van she had driven to the house, and there were a couple of small children in there, a little boy and a little blonde girl. She eventually got back in the van with her kids. I remember telling my mom about what had happened on the phone.

Then, I was looking at Blake's beta fish tank. It's really tiny IWL, with no filtration system, so it had to be cleaned quite often. The water didn't look bad. Not perfect, but it was definitely alright for the fish. I then looked above it, and there was another tank the same size with these longer, small silver fish swimming in it. The water level had sunk a bit, and it was filthy and cloudy. I didn't know how the fish were even still alive in that mess! I then looked back down at the original tank, and the water was pretty clean in comparison. I also didn't even see the beta fish in there, but instead, some small, round fish were swimming in there. I do think one was silver, but I can't quite remember anything about the rest of them.

I remember rocks and water. The sun is out and I look down. My everyday clothes are on and I'm standing thigh-deep in something like the Mediterranean sea. The water is quite clear as I can see large stones very distinctly in the distance underwater. The sun is out and the tide gently shuffles the water around my thighs.

I'm moving toward the shore. My brother helps me out of the water as not to slip on the slimy rocks against the crashing waves. On shore, some sort of gameplay has formed with throwing rocks into certain parts of the water. For example, people are hollering about "the island" which is a very white sort of land formation, very small (about as large as a tire). If you're able to land a rock on it, you basically win whatever game it is and can move on.

Bunch of nonsense.

I'm in a rush so I gotta be quick and screw typos. I woke up around 5am and as I drifted off, there was some brief audio HH of wasps surrounding me. Some stung me, but then that feeling phased into WILD vibrations. I slowly sat up in my bed, and I saw my cat Ziggy jump off. No pets are ever in here, so that was confirmation that I was dreaming. I walked out the bedroom and the hallway opened up into my parents old house. It was bright outside and I could see great! I immediately thought of the trick-o-treat TOTM, but I wanted it to be more night time. So I went to the front door of the house, put my hand on the knob, and said to myself "As soon as I open the door, it will be night time and I'll have a halloween costume on." I opened the door and it was darker, like 7pmish. I thought, good enough. I didn't feel a mask on or anything, but I had black robes. I was probably just some random HP character, whatever, on with the task! I didn't have a candy bag either but oh well. As soon as I walked out the house, I looked at the house next door, it was dark and creepy looking. I said to myself "This is Alex's house." I started walking there and this pig came up to me and started jumping at me and bite-licking me, like a playful dog that was getting too rough. It wouldn't fuck off and finally I had to pick it up and sling it across 2 acres of land. He landed with a "squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" and hobbled away, as if one leg was hurt. I felt sorry for it for a bit, then I reminded myself he doesn't exist. I went to the house and lots of kids were coming and going. I knocked on the door expecting Alex, but 4 little boys dressed to the 9s as vampires answered. I said "trick-o-treat!" and they just gnarled and hissed at me. I asked if any adults were home, hoping one would be Alex or ANY DV member. They just continued to growl at me. Then one looked at the other and bitched at him for using up all the vampire make-up, then I woke up.

Later in a non lucid, my mom and I were shopping for stuff to cook a big dinner together at their old house. Next thing I remember we were in the kitchen, and while mom was at the stove, I looked in the fridge. There was a pot of stew in there, boiling. I thought maybe she had JUST taken it there from the stove, other wise how could it still be so hot. Then mom said "I think I made a mistake by keeping my wrought-iron skillet in the freezer, look at it, it's melting." And sure enough, she had taken it out of the freezer, placed it on the hot coils of the stove, and it was melting. I said yeah I guess that was bad, but it seemed weird to me. Then the iron began seeping in between the hot coils. I said "Mom I think you need to handle that, it's gonna get everywhere." And she just walked out. I looked in the fridge again and that pot of stew was totally boiling over. This was getting too weird, so I began doing the finger-through-palm thing. That's such a bad RC by the way. Didn't go through. But I refused to believe that this was right. So I tried to just hop up into the air and see if I could float or fly, and sure enough I was just hovering in the air. AhHAH! I said. So I slowly floated out the kitchen then outside. Danny's son was there, asking me to teach him to do that too. I said "Sorry, no time son." And I flew outside with him following me. I flew around the trees in the front yard, all decorated with xmas stuff and some presents stuffed in the branches. I felt heavy, it was hard staying afloat. My mom came out and asked if I could see the presents. I said yes then woke up.

Later I was in a non lucid where I was chatting with oreoboy and mel. Oreo said "I think I have a muscle." I typed "Oh just one?" But the text didn't go through. Mel typed "xyz xyzz xyzzzzzz" or something like that. I tried typing my line again, but I couldn't focus on the keys. I was making a real effort trying to even type the first letters, when I realized it was a dream. I'm suddenly in my bed, so I get up and go out the door. It's dark, and I'm worried about my vision. But I remember talking to CanisLucidus about this, and i just went down the hall flipping on lightswitches (I forgot about the mirror). The lights were coming on just fine so yay. I ended up in the livingroom of my parents house again, and I saw what looked like Chris and my step-dad playing video games. But when I saw them from the front, my step dad wasn't him, he was a fuzzy cuddly looking werewolf! I didn't remember the werewolf bite task though, shame. Probably was to cute and cuddly to do it anyway. Then I woke up.

This dream is recorded in Fragments.

1) I bought weed from someone and kept it in a small dental floss case. Susie/Dee Dee later entered the room and asked to search my bags for it, I let them and she found it. We talked and she said she would not tell anyone but she was clearly upset. I told her it had been a long time since i last smoked

2) I was crossing the Golden Gate Bridge but it was a bridge made out of water. it was like a smoothe lake and i wondered "how do they build such flat water on the lake"

3) when we crossed to the other side we some how ended up in the water. A bunch of people were in there and i fraked everyone out by saying "yes the Golden Gate Bridge is a famous great white shark breeding zone" then a man came by and sprayed some solution near the exit to the water which removed the 2nd hand ciggarette smoke the water so we were able to get out

3) was with some old friends and kept wanting to do like a dog pile on em

Cave Channeling (6:58)

Rand al'Thor is in a giant cavern, being attacked by a fairly weak enemy creature. He tries to use the One Power to make its brain explode inside its skull. The first one or two tries are unsuccessful, and in the meanwhile, the creature is hurting him. But eventually he succeeds.

At another time, someone is trying to levitate a giant rock and drop it on his head. But he manages to deflect it and send it into the depths of a chasm.

There is a dock in this cavern that seems suspicious. Rand does something to it, and a round, apparently dead fish pops out of the water and lands on the wood. After making sure it won't suddenly come alive to attack him, Rand takes the fish back to the place he's made his camp, wanting to cook it. It seems like too much effort to conjure an entire stove to heat the fish, so instead he just warms up one patch of the rocks.

At another time, there is some kind of confrontation on a rock platform jutting out from a wall. The camera for this scene is level with the platform, but a great distance away. You see a woman run from the platform into a doorway in the wall, followed by a man. A heartbeat later, the man comes flying back out and slides backwards along the platform as though punched with considerable force. A few moments after that, there is a burst of fire from the doorway and the woman comes running back out, crying or screaming or in any case in desperate need of healing. I'm impressed by the creativity of the cinematographer, to shoot the scene from such an unusual angle as that.

Back on the platform, there is a discussion going on. One of the Forsaken, Sammael, is lying to a main character. He claims that he's not Sammael. There's another person from the Age of Legends present on the platform who knows the truth of Sammael's identity, though. That person frowns at Sammael whenever he lies about himself, but doesn't immediately say anything to the main character.

Asmodean and Sammael get to talking, and eventually it comes out that one of them is gay. He turned to the shadow mainly because of the difficulty he had in admitting this fact, and also because the other one didn't return his feelings. While watching this, I think wonderingly that it really has become cool to include gay people in all the new TV shows. I also hope that somehow having had this important discussion, the two of them will make up and get together and join the good side.

Passing the Time with Lanfear (6:58)

[Major spoiler for book five of WoT! Also, this dream involves sex.]

Spoiler for Passing the Time with Lanfear:

Lanfear, clad only in black underwear, is lying on a table, masturbating. She's in her headquarters, somewhere, and I guess this is what she does with her free time. I'm sad to learn that she's still alive, since that means Moiraine's sacrifice was for nothing. There are about three men in the room with Lanfear. One of them walks around and gets in a position to have sex with her from behind. I assume he's doing this without asking her, so chances are when she notices him, she'll blow him to smithereens, or something. But to my surprise, she doesn't do anything right away. Only, a few moments later, the man simply disappears, then reappears dressed in a woman's outfit, complete with a wide-brimmed, white hat with a flower.

At one point, Lanfear says something, and suddenly her underwear disappears. Somehow I suspect this was a trap laid by Rand. She triggered the trap a while ago, setting the weave, but it didn't do anything noticeable until just now, when one of the words that she just said set off the effect. Clever. She gets up as though about to go somewhere, and I wonder if she means to do it naked.

Gendered Web Browsers (6:58)

I'm talking to my grandma when she says something about web browsers "for girls." With an internal groan, I try to explain to her that web browsers aren't gendered. I realize that she's from an earlier time, where the distinction between the sexes was more marked, but I have to do what I can to advance the cause of gender equality. I expect to have to repeat myself a few times, since she's hard of hearing, but to my surprise she understands me pretty well. I look at her ear to see whether she's wearing her hearing aid. Her ear looks strange--it's more like a cavity in the side of her head than a projection on the outside of it--but yes, the hearing aid is in. Well, good for her.

Grandma takes me to a room full of computers to demonstrate her point. All of the computers are showing the desktop, and most of the desktop backgrounds are pictures taken by the computer's user. The pictures tend to feature moments from family history--birthdays, vacations, that sort of thing. Admittedly, a lot of these pictures look like they could only have been taken by a female. Grandma sort of has a point, but I still feel like there's something she's not understanding.

Urine (6:58)

Someone from my family is trying to shoot a pet video about a dog. We're all outside in the back yard. They try to get it to do some cute tricks and then howl for a while. They're going to autotune the howling into a cute melody. [Actually, while I'm watching them shoot the video, the howling is already autotuned. It's like I'm half watching-them-shoot, half watching-the-video.]

Later, there's a pet rat sitting at the top of the hill. It's about two or three feet tall. Its trick is that it can pee on command. When I learn that Mom and Dad are planning to have it do this trick, I try to dash out of range, but I'm not fast enough. It feels like I've been hit by a sprinkler from behind. That rat has demonically good aim, and it always makes sure to hit absolutely everyone in range. Well, crap. Now I'm going to have to take a shower.

I look around to see how fared the rest of the family. Mom's not wearing any pants or lower underwear, and she's peeing while standing up. [For some reason, I just take this in stride.] I start walking back to the house, carrying a jar of the rat's urine. My sister is saying something about how we should have collected more urine to donate, and my mom is disagreeing with her. She says that the place accepts only a small amount of urine with each delivery, so there's no point collecting more.