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Morning of July 6, 1985. Saturday.



Probably one of the most unusual clearer dreams I have had involved thinking I had awakened (in a very vivid “realistic” false awakening), only to find myself in persistent sleep paralysis (where I believe I actually did open my eyes at times). A box of Kraft macaroni and cheese (single serving) danced around in the air, screaming “Eat me! Eat me!” in a rather high-pitched raspy voice and it was shaking about like a loud rattle in my ears and face.

I feel great discomfort yet also feel the mildly pleasant body-wide tingling. I try to cover my head but it does not work very well. It seems to torment me for several minutes. As I finally begin to wake more fully, I notice a smaller moving silver engraving (like a photographic negative) of a heron and a bittern dressed up like elderly gentlemen (though the birds incorrectly rendered as being around the same size), with one in a top hat and the other in a derby, and with canes and fancy shoes, in a position moving away from near my door (King Street boarding house - the L-shaped room), on a table. Although they are implied to be walking westward, the imagery mostly remains in one area, as if I am seeing it on some sort of implied projection (as if on an unseen television otherwise).

As soon as I woke up, I went into the kitchen and cooked and ate that last box of macaroni and cheese. (Well…what would you have done?) I was not “starving” but I had regularly been eating a lot less at the time. I do get a vague impression at one point that the birds may be coming back from “celebrating the Fourth of July” in a partial or subtle anthropomorphic manner.

I have finally decoded the macaroni and spaghetti symbolism, I believe. It relates directly to the energies of the human brain (as a bowl of cooked macaroni and cheese resembles the brain to some extent). The box (in its potential but not utilized form) was trying to get me to appreciate the nature of using my brain in my state of sleep paralysis and the two birds represented my conscious and subconscious finding freedom in “walking together”.

Morning of April 6, 1985. Saturday.



I am sitting in cool water with my knees up, the level of the clear water about six inches down from my knees, though it is not completely gone by the end of the waking stage. A very large number of very small green frogs are present. They hop around on my knees and shoulders, making little chirping sounds. I hold some of them carefully know and then as they leap around.

Although the location is unknown, there is a vague sense of bilocation with my King Street bed (in the L-shaped apartment) which I discern as being in its real-life location). Still, I also seem to be in an outdoor area in an actual large pond. No one else is around. There is a very intense feeling of happiness as well as relaxation. I very slowly become lucid but only just prior to waking. It is almost like taking a morning bath outside.

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Although this is a typical water induction (most common induction factor since early childhood), the frogs are possibly just incidental since I associate them with water. However, they would still be on the upper end of the dreaming stage, more so than a fish, which represents the downgrading of conscious self identity in being less active in being unconscious (asleep). This dream though, is very vivid, so the tiny frogs, which are very active, probably relate (in real time) to neuron activity and dawning awareness in coming out of sleep (whereas tadpoles and fish would be more relevant to the dynamics of the temporary dream self identity).

Water symbolizes sleep and the dynamics of sleep in real time. As such, a beach or shore of a lake (and similar locations) is the liminal space between sleep (water) and the more viable land or waking life beyond the beach. The clarity and depth of the water relate directly to circadian rhythm factors and real time sleep dynamics, something I was already aware of at age four from dreams such as “The Angler” (1965).

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Morning of April 3, 1985. Wednesday.



I am in an unfamiliar store that sells miscellaneous items. (I get the impression the cashier is oriented east of me). I am not fully sure what I am going to buy. There is an association with smaller paint-by-number kits (that come in sets of two paintings each) as well as bathroom supplies (such as shampoo).

The main focus is on puzzlement over my wallet and the money I have. It is not all actual money at first and eventually there is no “real” money in bills at all.

Instead of twenty-dollar bills (and other notes), which is what I thought I had more of, the cash is actually cut out comic strips of “The Wizard of Id” (that are slightly larger than normal). This of course is quite embarrassing but surely the “money” is not realistic enough to be associated with the idea that I am trying to use counterfeit money deliberately. There is no drama or eventual threat from anyone else based on my actions or possession of “funny money”. I mostly just search through my wallet without finding any “real” money and become quite puzzled. I believe there is also some Monopoly board game play money which has appeared in other dreams as such. I am trying to remember why I put all these cut out comic strips in my wallet or maybe I did it absentmindedly.

My sister carol always pronounced the “Id” in “The Wizard of Id” as rhyming with “ride” (as in being like the contraction for “I had”) though I always said it as rhyming with “rid”. This particular dream may be a reflection concerning the idea of id and ego (see “Why Freud Still Matters, When He Was Wrong About Almost Everything”) though more as being rendered comedic (as a comic strip) in hearing about and associating with such ideas.

I cannot presently recall a dream about wanting to buy something and seeing my paper money as it should actually be. I do not believe that having distorted paper money (often printed on only one side in dreams) is symbolic at all just as many things in dreams are clearly not symbolic but solely an artifact of the dreaming or waking process itself. It is not because of the unconscious mind being unable to render print or numbers or letters in a certain way either, as I have had numerous dreams with very realistic comic book pages (on both sides) and other printed materials.

Night of November 5, 1984. Monday. (To morning of November 6.)



As some of this one facet of a small part of my lifelong “story” involves hundreds of pages, I will include only basic information here, and a copy of Zsuzsanna’s journal page from when she was much younger and written long before we made real contact (though at the time of this dream). There are many more entries both already online and not yet posted anywhere that add hundreds more unexplainable layers that prove (for me) dreams are often a composite of precognition and remote viewing and there is absolutely no one that could convince me otherwise, especially twenty years on in a blissful, sensuous and spiritual marriage and with healthy children (though I do understand how there are deceitful people that, for whatever reason, are somehow against marriage and family and who sadly deny love itself - you the reader have likely seen it yourself many times - they are very good at pretending and creating fabricated drama).

There were earlier “prototypes” and precursors for this dream, and there were many that implied the eventual “battle” between Susan R and the “mystery girl”, this still being years before it was confirmed that hundreds of my childhood dreams implemented more precise precognition and remote viewing, which has turned out for me to be what dreams mainly are. The “mystery girl” dreams were all precognitive; they not only “introduced” me to my soulmate before she was born, they revealed every minute detail from the unlikely accent and cultural mix, to birthplace (exactly inverted to my birth place) from directly across the ocean (as shown in other entries).

Before the Blue Pearl (or “blue flame” or Merkaba) was more dominant in my perception, I saw it in Susan R. My first dream where I “ended up” with the “mystery girl” in an implied marriage would not be accepted as truth by most, due to it having elements of maturity for me at the age of eight (I am never in a mood to debate so I will not go into it). It was validated many times that Brenda W was the wife-to-be “stand-in”, which was validated again in 1991 just prior to real contact with my wife-to-be (and involving the “blue sun”).

My main castle dream implied a battle between Susan R and the “mystery girl” (who looked exactly like my wife-to-be in every way and with the same mixed heritage and same intriguing mixed Romani/Hungarian/Australian accent). The castle was implied to be beyond the area (at the end of the hanging bridge) where the “Bridge Over a Prehistoric World” dream took place - which started with watching Susan R (a transparent “blue egg” around her) leave me and ended with me hugging my wife-to-be archetype. The castle exists high in the sky, on a floating small hill, but only of partial land area, with plant roots hanging down from underneath. It seems to be “another realm” with a different “speed” of time (hard to explain). I get the clear impression that the castle stays only in areas where night exists.

The castle also has areas of temple-like rooms as well as oddly modern neon lights in some areas (almost like a discotheque). It is very vivid. Some lights are too bright to directly look at. I do look over the edge of the floating hill at one point, and see the view as if from an airplane flying very high; I see the lights of a larger city far below, barely perceptible at times. Susan R seems oddly upset at looking at her own reflection (though I eventually discover that is not what she is looking at in the mirror). She frustratingly yells “get out” at the mirror, which seems odd to me though reminds me strongly of the scene from “Fear No Evil”, first seen March 3, 1969.

My mental “connection” to Susan is broken (there were events prior to this which I do not recall). The “mystery girl”, wearing a black dress and a diamond necklace and some sort of unusual swept-back “crown”, emerges from the mirror, quite royal-looking, with glowing green catlike eyes and quite precise, sensual motions. I am amazed by her beauty. It is her. “Queen of the Gypsies”. Well, at least a dazzling princess. Orange-tinted skin. I even detect a trace of Aboriginal Australian.

From here, the two girls fight in an epic battle of screeching voices and incredibly intense and eerie screeching wind. They are arguing about me, my purpose, my birth, where I should live, and who I “belong to”. I believe the “mystery girl” is “screeching” and “whistling” the loudest and affirming that I am hers. It is very strange to hear this - like the wind itself “arguing” with itself, like lightning bolts “wriggling” against each other, like clouds trying to “strangle” each other. The Merkaba appears to be spinning out of control for a time sort of knocking into each girl’s silhouette for a time. The voices reach a point where they are not human-sounding at all in any way.

One of them falls to the ground far below, eventually, but I am not sure who; I only see her silhouette falling, back first with arms out. I think I have had enough commotion, so I turn to leave…almost finding my way out before someone behind me asks “Where are you going? You cannot go alone”. I am not alarmed but I do not see her directly. I only see her shadow on the wall. I wake.

This “battle” and long-term outcome (as some already know) could not have taken place solely within my own dreams, but could only have happened in a collective sense (in the supraconscious perhaps) or “another plane” of reality. There have been a number of dreams where I eventually was absolutely sure of this and there is not the slightest evidence to the contrary. What is also interesting is that my wife also loosely describes the Barbara Steele movie I was fascinated by as a young child and it remains a favorite movie (1964’s “Danse Macabre” aka “Castle of Blood” aka “Castle of Terror”) yet she had never heard of it or seen it. In a way, this dream is actually a “replay” of some aspects of it.

There were other dreams involving Susan R and the “mystery girl” (wife-to-be) within the same setting or relative to one event or another. I do not know the dynamics behind this, as I had never contacted Susan after high school. (In fact, she is the only one I have never been able to contact or find out more about out of all my classmates through all school years. I did hear she was married, though. Another girl with her same full name, unrelated I believe, married someone with my name - and my surname is not very common at all.)

My wife Zsuzsanna’s older poem from her teenage years follows in text - which implies another layer of reality and which matches my dream above as well as being from the same time period (do not forget the thousands of other facts that confirmed the “mystery girl’s” identity many years before I met her).

A castle on the hill

gleaming lights and flights of stairs

running through the corridors

looking for the door

it’s a mystery where are you going

you cannot go alone

for there is something eerie

watching the lights fade away

then all I heard was a shout

a voice pleading to get out

it’s a mystery where will I go

I cannot go alone

A mystery in the castle

A mystery of neon lights

A mystery of you and me

A mystery the facts of love

Night of September 23, 1984. Sunday.



Of all the continuous unexplained events throughout my life, this is perhaps one of the strangest, as well as “deepest” relative to clear memory - in that there is no doubt of my experience and perspective at the time, no matter how “impossible” it seems.

The basic nature of this event is as follows…I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room on Loomis Street. My brother-in-law Bob was set to watch “Hardcastle and McCormick” (the first episode of the second season, “Outlaw Champion” - neither of us had seen the episode before). I was falling asleep at the time he was maneuvering to the correct channel. In my dream state, I heard the entire dialogue and sound of the show for the hour that seemingly followed, including the commercials. It did not stop there, though. The episode repeated in its entirety and was starting to get monotonous as I had already heard it (and seen parts of it seemingly through half-closed eyes). When the episode came on again for the third time, I was extremely frustrated and wondered what was going on. I was in an odd state of consciousness, with a clearer sense of false awakenings than usual. I was certain that three hours had passed and that it was near ten o'clock.

At some points, there were distortions. One distortion was that the name of the show became “Hardcastle and Rock”. In fact, this distortion was so dominating, I actually misremembered this is the “real” name a few years later and even wrote it as such in much later journal references (without looking back on older entries - bear in mind that much of my dream journal and dream work is now on larger-capacity flash drives with fully searchable terms and references, going back to when I was born).

During this extraordinarily boring time of “seeing” (or at least hearing) the same episode three times in a row there were unusual distortions where lucid dream states seemed to “interfere” with the continuity, but oddly, it continued correctly when “going back” rather than having a gap in what I was hearing. The main lucid dreams, which were more vivid than usual, were of being in the small yard at the front of the house and seeing the shadowy silhouette of the “mystery girl”, seemingly a teenager, standing closer to the left side of the front of the house. There is seeming mental contact and a “knowledge” that I will be with her within about ten years or so. This seems too long to wait, especially with this television show repeating over and over. She seems tentative, a bit shy to approach me, and remains about six feet away in the semidarkness of the evening (it seems much later at night in my dream than it actually is in reality, and again, it seemed that about three hours had passed in the final section of this dream scenario). Typically in dreams of this extreme lucidity, I “play with” my own shadow for a time (which I believe is the wakeful conscious mind as seen by my dream self), though this time the shadow is actually the female and I do not see her as “me” at all (though perhaps the “missing part” of me), thus I do not indulge in the shadow play. I am fully aware of her being a separate consciousness somehow and the form of “true love”.

I eventually start to silently question why in the world my brother-in-law would watch the show three times in a row (instead of more logically thinking about the extreme unlikelihood of why they would air it three times in a row in the first place).

When I eventually wake…the show is only just starting in reality, still showing the opening - so I hear (and this time see more of) the show for the fourth time - with more conscious focus. I had a hard time trying to work out how this had happened, especially as I had already (and correctly) seen it three times in my dream state. I was not really disoriented, just slightly annoyed at yet again experiencing something no one would believe, otherwise the very “normal” (and unproblematic) day to day nature of my lifetime since birth. I get an idea relating to other entities “tampering” with time, which may or may not directly relate to the “mystery girl”. Still, I shortly disregard it as something not that unusual (at least for me).

As I had, to my knowledge, only experienced this more lucid “looping” effect once in my life in this particular way, it seems like a rare potential. However, in all honesty, it is not really all that different from the typical precognitive/remote viewing hybrids experienced all the time, other than that there was more clarity and focus (especially in audio), and for a seeming extended time period (far longer than usual, when, however, it could not have been more than a couple minutes even though my dream’s fully in-body sections with the “mystery girl” seemed to be about twenty minutes long, as well as including the “three hours” of the repeating show). With all the other virtually endless precognitive and remote viewing experiences, there was never the residual sense of literally “repeating time” as with this event (typical “repeating” or “reset” dreams did not share this awareness at all, for some reason).

This also matches my wife’s experiences to some extent in seeking “the one who was meant for her” especially as the “mystery girl” was exactly like her in every way, including being the correct age for this particular dream (even the unlikely ethnicity combination and accent). She wrote to me in real life in 1991 at the same address as this dream occurred.

There are additional strange coincidences too personal to relate here.

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Night of April 27, 1984. Friday.



There were two times in my life where I had an extremely vivid and fully in-body dream of a “melted” bicycle in a more notable way, and each time I had had a small amount of alcohol in real life prior to my dream (although I normally have not drank at all throughout my life). Thus, when I think of beer or alcohol in general, I automatically think of useless, melted bicycles, which seems to imply you “lose control” or are “unable to steer”.

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I go down the front stairs from my apartment in the King Street boarding house and onto the porch. It seems fairly late at night or very early in the morning before dawn. Soon, another person who is very drunk (Shawn P) comes out and says what a nice bicycle I have and continues to say positive things about it in a sincere but inebriated way. The bicycle is leaning against the front of the porch on the right side of the doorway. Upon taking a closer look as I am taking it out from the porch to ride it, I then see that the entire front half is partly melted and crooked and thus unusable.

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See also: The Beam (warning against alcohol?)

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Morning of April 9, 1984. Monday.



I was in bed, listening to The Alan Parsons Project’s “Tales of Mystery and Imagination: Edgar Allan Poe”. I imagined the imagery and detail. It was one of my favorite cassettes of the time, along with their “I Robot” album.

In one vivid dream of the “mystery girl”, the petite Persian Hungarian gypsy girl from Australia (with a curious mixed accent) with the beautiful green eyes and dark curly hair, there is a storm coming; a large tornado. This, for whatever reason, does not concern me all that much.

As the tornado gets closer, I do feel a slight wariness. The tornado is the lower half of the Merkaba in dreams, and at other levels, is the unknown future or “destiny” if you will. On another level it is the energies of the supraconscious (Universal Mind) in connecting with other levels of consciousness as perceived by the conscious mind; that is, other “realms” of mind and supraconscious exchanging energies as a new force as with a cold front meeting a warm front in causing wind and stormy weather. As I am at least partly lucid, I am not worried about being killed. Once I step into the tornado I see a beautiful young girl and recognize her as my “dream girl”. She leans back on a bed and as I approach her (in this case, I somehow see myself approaching her) there is a sense of wholeness. It is almost as if I rose above the tornado and looked down into it, where everything was clear and blue, a circular portal; an image of fulfillment.

In a dream within a dream, I am seemingly Edgar Allan Poe in a way. My dream journals are so extensive that I have indexes within indexes, often copied to new journals with additional important observations and notes added. A raven wants to be fed stale undercooked hamburger, which it seems to like more than bologna or canned fish. I seem to receive a very important “warning” related to not allowing “ordinary” people to influence me in any way and not allow them to “interpret” not only my dreams, but even ideas I develop over time out of life experiences. I sensed an unusual idea that other people one day, around the world, would see a small part of my childhood dream work as well as other writing. Of course, this seemed like a preposterous idea. How could one just “show their dreams on television for others to watch” whenever they felt like it? Perhaps the advancements of computers could achieve this? Likely far too expensive for the average person to ever be feasible…

One person said that the tornado was related to my “mental turmoil” (though I had less “turmoil” than others I knew) over my pretense that I would be married to a beautiful girl and have children within ten years or so. The raven was perhaps a burden, it was claimed, a “shadowy presence” representing despair, “a shadow hanging over me”. However, in my dreams, my two youngest “fictional” children learn from the raven, which speaks to them of the patterns of life and nature. I supposed other people would have been happy over me never marrying who I considered the most beautiful girl on Earth in another country. People in general have mostly only “cop outs” to share, “cop outs” which never have any value, except in learning and knowing what not to do or what not to believe from others or society as a whole.

Years later, in real life, after I married my dream girl, “our” raven sat on my chair watching me type on my computer. My two healthy and loving children enjoyed having a raven in the house for a few weeks until I decided it was fully healed (from a non-fatal dog attack) enough to fly on its own. It still came back and said “hi” now and then…but there was one time at the computer, when I reached behind me to give it a piece of raw stale hamburger and gave it a pat that I thought of the potential for the majority of “ordinary” human beings to ever accept the truth…or in fact, have any credibility at all. I almost thought I heard the raven quote (deep in the recesses of my mind) “nevermore”.

Morning of April 7, 1984. Saturday.



A female classmate and neighbor (and validated precognitive wife-to-be “stand-in” or resolved personal archetype) who is slightly younger than me, Brenda W, is trying to resurrect her dead pet ferret by placing various old silver coins, including foreign coins, in the ground near trees (including between extensions of roots). It actually seems to work and she is happy. I see her near a shopfront late at night and she acknowledges me happily. This is set possibly in Milwaukee, Wisconsin even though I knew her to only live in Florida. No one else seems to be around in most scenes except perhaps in the background. The storefront seems to be easterly of my dream-self’s perspective. As a somewhat vaguely implied back story scene, a local preacher (possibly Connell of Florida) talks about the Resurrection of Jesus, which Brenda is supposed to widely promote in a special “travel brochure”(?) which also relates to some sort of ambiguous business that loosely reminds me of the lemonade-stand-like psychiatrist booth run by Lucy in the “Peanuts” comic strip. Something goes wrong with the machine (which seems to be in or near a grocery store checkout) and instead of printing “The Resurrection of Jesus”, it prints “The Erection of Sausages” which Brenda laughs at hysterically.

Update June 20, 2015: After all this time, I see it is likely a play on “hot dog stand” regarding the primary school Adam and Eve gag. (”Eve, in being the first vendor, made Adam’s Hot Dog Stand”.) As much meticulous dream journalism as I had done continuously since early childhood, some fairly obvious layers, explanations (hidden meanings), and metaphorical plays did not become clearer until years later, even after studying the content numerous times.

In an old recurring childhood theme I have written much on even as a young child (and in fact even atypically acted out with friends at school who unfortunately changed the theme into being zombie-related, albeit creatively), in the first (prototype) dream, “The Dead One”, Brenda W seemed to have been resurrected into a normal life again, but ran from me in the city streets and remained unapproachable. There was also the “Wild Weasel” dream - but which was seemingly resolved to be a Tasmanian devil in the final versions. I believe there is a connection to my general unexplained path concerning the “mystery girl”. This dream seems to be some sort of offbeat comedic composite of both childhood dreams. The ferret likely represents the maturing male stage in this case (with a possible link to the emerging cicada nymph concept regarding my marriage, as my wife collected cicada shells as a child and made miniature cemeteries complete with miniature wooden crosses, not knowing yet that they were only exoskeletons - also impersonally related to “seven-year-itch” and “seven-year-locust”, including the business cycle meaning - terms I have only heard and do not “get” at all - but then, most of mainstream humanity and their beliefs make no sense to me). It is not quite anniversary precognition, as it is off by a couple days concerning my marriage ten years later (though apparently there was a version on the ninth, though not as clear).

Morning of February 8, 1984. Wednesday.



I seem to be in an unknown or at least unrecognizable area at a motel. It may be in Wisconsin (where I am living in real life) or possibly in a larger city in Florida. The area seems completely deserted other than with my presence. The motel and its larger rooms seem oriented to the south. I get the impression I am a different “character”. I may have a job to do involving a revolver which is apparently in a drawer in one of the motel rooms. I do not seem to be certain which room it is at first but eventually find it.

This is somehow, but indirectly, connected to another dream section set in a different time, or perhaps it only seems that way. At any rate, it is like an old-fashioned western town. There is a younger girl walking around who may be either Effie Elmer or Betty Jane W (but probably based on Jenny C). Since my dream was recurring, there were different associations. I am lying on my side in the middle of a dirt road, possibly injured relative to my dream’s “back story” though I do not feel hurt. It is the dirt road through this old western town (which resembles Dodge City on the television series “Gunsmoke”). Although the first setting was seemingly deserted and somehow even isolated, this town has activity. I only see the legs and feet of the girl in my partial view of looking under a horse and buggy towards the wooden sidewalk. No one seems to notice me or at least directly regard my presence there on the ground.

Oddly, when the girl turns to walk in the opposite direction that the horse and buggy is going, she vanishes completely, as the area otherwise blocked by the buggy is then revealed. No one is there. This happens several times in “resets”. Perhaps she is a phantom.

I am not sure what my role is in either scenario; the apparently modern motel, or the old western town. Perhaps I am there to warn someone or even to shoot someone, but there is no stronger emotion for the most part. Feet and lower legs are all that is ever seen of the possibly unknown girl. She appears to be wearing old-fashioned shoes with buckles. My dream does not seem to have an intentional “plot” of any kind; it just presents the two scenes.

Morning of October 5, 1983. Wednesday.



In my dream, I am watching the news in my L-shaped room at the end of the hall (and to the right) in the King Street boarding house. The television is in a similar location as it is in real life - in about the middle of the longest rectangular area (but is color instead of black and white), but turned perpendicularly towards the east where I am apparently seated or in bed. I am not that aware, but I am focused on the imagery and sound of the television news report.

Over time, I become more and more clear on where I am and what I am seeing within my dream. The man on television is about thirty and wearing a necktie of mostly blue and orange. In real life, the sustained buzzing of my alarm clock had started. This causes my dream to take on a rather bizarre change. The man I am watching on the television starts grabbing at his neck immediately as he is saying “and they are going to…mahhhhhh” - his voice warping flawlessly into the alarm clock sound (the implied word seeming to be “make”, yet only the m is human-like). The buzzing alarm clock sound is coming from his open mouth and he is desperately trying to loosen his tie, continuing to clutch at his throat as it buzzes, with his visage being more and more horrified. After a fairly short time, I am aware that I am coming out of my dream state.

This is a very good example of a dream that is apparently completely lacking in meaning or foresight (at least at one level - I did not document all the nuances of the in-dream news report) and suddenly truncated (or “interrupted”, assuming my dream was “going anywhere” in plot) by a real-life event, in this case, real-life audio - as in probably about equally occurring contrast to in-dream precognition or foreshadowing that somehow builds up to align with a real and unexpected sound not yet present while sleeping. In those cases, some people make the mistake of assuming the sound may have caused the dream’s outcome. However, in some cases, the dream was already seemingly building up to the not yet occurring sound (again, unlike in the case of this entry where my dream was unexpectedly “destroyed” by the intrusive sound) - thus a form of obvious real-time precognition in the other dream type I have never read about elsewhere. I have experienced it myself fairly often.

Morning of September 11, 1983. Sunday.



This is one of several very vivid (but non-lucid) dreams that seemed to reflect aspects of foreshadowing regarding 9-11. Dreams of this type (including one similar to this one) seemed to start in 1977, where the main patterns of a more precise nature regarding my future wife (especially regarding her “conquering” of Susan R, the “other”) were already in play, so to speak.

My dream starts out where I am in a large wheat field. I seem to be in a fairly good mood and am feeling relaxed. However, there is a sense of impending disaster for some reason. Looking back towards the horizon (I am not sure of directional orientation - if I went by my Cubitis bedroom and in-dream focus, it would be mostly to the northeast), I see a low-flying airplane. There are two skyscrapers in the distance (but no other more discernible buildings or landmarks). The airplane is heading directly for one of the skyscrapers, the one on my right. Knowing it will probably crash (seemingly on purpose) and even though it is not that close to where I am, I start running west.

As I run west, I seem to feel myself either shrinking or at least changing in perspective in a very bizarre way. I suddenly seem to be running through some sort of metallic tunnel which is like an awareness of running inside of a “giant computer” with various printed circuits on floor, walls, and ceiling. Behind me is an approaching energy that I know will destroy me and anyone else in the world or at least in the region. It makes a sort of sizzling sound as it gets closer and closer to me. In the distance, at the end of this “hall”, I see a forest and hope I will reach it.

I perceive a phrase somewhat dramatically, “That’s it, that’s all, it’s everything gone!” almost like a line from poetry. I awake at this time as the sizzling gets louder behind me and I feel an intense heat. I have a sense that this giant hall has something to do with people communicating by computer on a global scale, but that the airplane has triggered the end of all the circuits or some such through an increasingly destructive explosion. This was a typical composite precognitive event. It was quite some time until I was actually “inside” computers relative to being able to easily manipulate machine language code (through a self-learning process and realizing it was all mostly “conditional jumps” and little else) until I went on to something else, as I then took on the perspective that computer technology was at least half-myth and most of what programmers claimed was false, which of course is as with pretty much everything else.

This dream appears to have a legitimate and typical precognitive marker. Even though the airplane crashing into the skyscraper (tower) is the waking component in this case, it is also a September 11th dream and has other legitimate associations with terror such as when I cry out “That’s it, that’s all, it’s everything gone!” This causes me to ponder what is really going on in other levels of collective consciousness over any given longer time period. While it is true that the skyscraper as the tower here is my emergent consciousness and the airplane the projection of my dream self in being “stopped” during the waking transition, there is more to it, primarily literal. I run through the tunnel which is also the waking conduit (more accessible here than the tower), even more so as it looks like a circuit-board on all four sides (two walls, ceiling, and floor), the circuit-board being a model of the human brain, here upsized as my dream self seems downsized, almost shrunken.

Morning of April 17, 1983. Sunday.



In the past I have stated that a snake may sometimes relate to associations with the human intestine in dreams (because of their shape and the fact that they coil). A few times, this connection has even been proven - for example, the “Fer-de-Lance (Reprise)” dream.

Here is another example. I went to sleep with somewhat of a stomach ache. I am in an unknown coastal city, but which has features of my old primary school in Florida. There is a large ancient-looking water fountain near one esplanade area. There are several unknown people walking around.

Just under the water’s surface, I notice large snakes sort of moving through the water more like fish. Over time, they take on the characteristics of human waste but are still snakes. There is a vague uneasiness as if one should not go near the fountain even though I sense that the snakes are not able to leave the water.

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It could not be more obvious that in this particular case, snakes represent human waste (especially as they had the appearance as such). What I am looking at in this dream is an upsized toilet. My stomachache was not even needed for confirmation in this case.

Morning of March 31, 1983. Thursday.



It seems to be very early morning in my dream; before sunrise. I am in an unusual composite location of a “compressed” (whereby an implied larger environment somehow fits into a much smaller one) and seemingly isolated cornfield and my sister’s backyard at Loomis Street. There seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion (from the eastern horizon) in the distance and the sky grows red. There is eventually a strong wind. All I am mostly aware of at the main vivid point is the wind blowing against the scarecrow as if that were the last aspect of the human race that remained. The wind makes an almost human-like sound, but like a soft though eerie chorus.

As I had learned after this (and the “clue” it seems to contain regarding the dreamer as a scarecrow, that is, non-lucid) atomic bombs and nuclear explosions in dreams are mostly little more than a metaphor for the waking process itself. This was validated later on when, when I was nearing lucidity, had the ability to “freeze” the mushroom cloud and thus bring about apex lucidity by stopping the waking process, and thereby my dream was extended dramatically (including increasing in vividness).

In contrast to an atomic bomb ending the dream (or causing it to change in cohesiveness) and the potential for lucidity (again, unless stopped or “frozen”), a tornado can pull one in (as the Merkaba) into deeper lucidity. As often reflected on before, my childhood tornado dream (beginning of autumn 1970) represented, on one level, the merging of dreams and reality, with my joining (presumed counteracting or harmonizing - both now seem plausible) of the opposite whirling forces of the tornado and hexagonal merry-go-round - also a metaphor for activating a Merkaba akin to meeting one’s soulmate as well.

In this case, the scarecrow as dreamer also adds to the atomic bomb representing the waking process in the dreamer now being a scarecrow with no potential to move back into the dream state. (It is fairly obvious like most dreams of this type and level of consciousness.)

Morning of February 9, 1983. Wednesday.



It is up to the individual dreamer to “decode” every precise clue that either the Universal Mind or Merkaba vehicle (experienced when awake as a blue flash in the left eye) gives them based on layering everything he or she sees into personal mythology to eventually “live the dream” so to speak, with one’s partner, together as Yin and Yang incarnate rather than just personal ascension (of which needs to come before the twin soul union). Everything in existence must be used correctly and confirmed, with no room for doubt or “interference” from the unenlightened or uniformed. In my case, I did not know it would all turn out so literal, almost like a grand comedy. (For example, even my wife’s step father’s name is “Davy Jones”, the “real” mermaid’s father. Hilarious.)

This dream transition (the Eurythmics songs being the catalyst) started in February 9th of 1983 (what I would call the “prototype” or “birth” of this dream scenario), February 9th also being the date I came to Australia (in 1994, exactly eleven years later). Although my real “mystery girl’s” name was “known” as either Savannah or variations of Susannah when very young, the name Jennifer in this case stands for the shape-shifter or mermaid form. In fact, “Jennie Haniver” actually is a faux mermaid created from skeletal sea life remains. (One of our youngest daughter’s middle names is Revinah, which is “Haniver” in reverse; a bit of trivia for relentless clue-seekers.)

Most versions of this dream (both in their lucid and non-lucid forms) were quite epic and would be too long to address the variations in one entry. It also seemed to be a direct continuation of my “Reptilian Girl” dream (from February 9th, 1977 - once again the same date but years apart) which even correctly rendered the scar on my wife-to-be’s wrist in real life before I met her; hers is the same distance from the bottom of the palm as mine and amusingly seems like the “continuation” of my own larger scar (near-fatal accident from age two) when our arms are held together.

Mostly, the scenario is based on the statue at the La Crosse public library coming to life and assuming the form of my wife-to-be (whom I first made real contact with in March of 1991). This bronze statue (known as “Reflections III”, which was also the name of a novel my wife-to-be had been working on, including being the third written form) is described as follows: “This piece was donated in 1979 by Dr. Adolph Gundersen. It depicts a young woman resting on top of a carved base which was designed as an integral part of the sculpture. The figure and the base create ‘complementary negative images and contradicting planes’ in the words of the artist. The title is intentionally ambiguous, referring to reflections of the figure in the base, reflections in the pool of water before it, and the intellectual process of reflecting upon an idea.”

My “mystery girl” and I are intimate (and most of my dream scenes take place at night, where she eventually becomes the “Reflections III” statue “again” before dawn). At times, “normal” people seem to be aware or come to learn of her existence (though there are those who deny her existence, as with Jennie in “The Bermuda Depths”, much to their later misfortune). At one point, she becomes a shark and devours people who are pursuing me. At another point, she becomes a black panther (related to my own becoming a black panther in dreams of the night of April 9, 1982 into the next morning, but of an unusual “reshaping” in which in my dream, I become a black panther and catch and eat a rabbit, though in this dream, she is a black panther and actually transforms into a rabbit as she is running, all this inspired directly from a scene from “Cat People” seen on the night of April 9, 1982, the same date I was married in 1994).

In the last part of my dream, after she becomes a rabbit, she jumps into the water becoming a dolphin. I see her leap in the distance as the sky grows darker. (This is likely an influence from “The Incredible Mr. Limpet”, although Don Knotts becomes a fish, not a dolphin, as wrongly written in some plot descriptions by people who obviously did not really know the movie.)

There is an ominous scene where the statue is gone. People go out to “hunt” her, but I know they will never find her. It is my intention to “go to the other side of the ocean” to find her.

This goes all the way back to 1965 from my dream “The Thinker” and later “breakthrough” dreams (such as “Sentient Flood” from 1990) where “living statues” seem to relate to an “awakening” of something important to the dreamer’s real-life path. It may be a major archetype for others as well, though I cannot be sure since I can only “see” my own experiences.

After these dreams, I had a strange feeling I would be meeting her in real life (even marrying her), which of course…I did, in 1994.

Relevant influences and tie-ins:

“The Incredible Mr. Limpet”; 1964 Don Knotts movie

“It”; 1966 Roddy McDowall movie (secondary influence)

“The Bermuda Depths”; 1978 television movie (main influence)

“Portrait of Jennie”; 1948 movie

“Jennifer”; Eurythmics song from 1983 as here, which directly followed “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” (catalyst transition)

“Ocean Girl”; David Essex song

Morning of January 8, 1983. Saturday.



I am in a mostly unfamiliar area seemingly in La Crosse. I may be near the place called Bonanza (which is a restaurant, I believe) where people fish. Over time, there is threat of a flash flood. A lot of people are struck and carried away by the rushing water and I end up hanging onto some sort of wooden debris (part of a house, I assume), quickly floating directly north. I suddenly notice a large, healthy, silvery fish next to me as if it was just tossed from the water somehow, or more like riding the waves at the same pace I am, remaining uninjured. It seems somewhat important, like a significant event for me. I am not sure what species it is; it may be a large herring. I feel a sense of vividness at that point, the most vivid part of my dream. It seems almost mystical. I have found that other people have had very similar dreams, one mentioned in a lecture about it relating to the gift of abundance.