Morning of May 27, 1995. Saturday. I find myself in the backyard of the Cubitis property in late morning. I vaguely recall a childhood dream (same setting and time) where a flying saucer hovered above me, casting a large round shadow over an area of the backyard and upon me. I am not viably lucid (that is, I remain unaware that I am dreaming), but there is faux lucidity where I illogically make the connections as relevant to presumed reality. I find the situation more interesting than threatening. Zsuzsanna is present in the living room, looking through the east windows. I tell her of how this has happened before, and that the last time, I ran south, somehow vertically running straight down the side of a ravine, then running horizontally on the ground and across the surface of the river, and running vertically straight up the other side to continue running normally. As I decide to attempt this again (even after over twenty-five years), I look back as I start to cheerfully run and see it is not a flying saucer but a hot air balloon. This puzzles me and instead of running straight down the side of the deep ravine as I near it, I awake with a slight falling sensation and with a mild hypnopompic kick. I am close to laughing aloud shortly after waking. Liminal space fallacy: This is a specific type of faux lucidity, where I attempt to duplicate an event from an older dream without realizing I am dreaming, yet I also perceive my situation as only my dream self could in a dream. Even so, this faux reasoning is something that could not occur in consciousness, and additionally, cannot even be logically perceived or resolved as even being possible, yet it is, as I am very familiar with its dynamics. For me, this proves that dreams are of an entirely different nature, purpose, and meaning than what most people claim. Faux threads: Cubitis has not been my home since June 1978. Zsuzsanna has never been to America. The shadow was cast in the wrong direction (oriented southerly instead of westerly). There were no deeper ravines near where I lived. It is not possible to run vertically down or up the side of a ravine or run over the surface of a river. Literal threads: Zsuzsanna’s presence, genuine recall of a childhood dream from 1969. Current thread: Zsuzsanna’s presence only (that is, no viable recall of any other current life status, including our present address). Vestibular system thread: The hot air balloon, in addition to being associated with breathing while sleeping, was biologically premonitory of the hypnopompic kick. (Falling in a dream is usually the result of natural vestibular system ambiguity by inherently not being able to balance the imaginary dream body in unconsciousness. As such, it is unrelated to the popular myth of “interpretation”.) Emergent consciousness thread: The hot air balloon’s shadow signifies the looming essence of the conscious self and the inevitability of waking. This implies a different form of RAS mediation than when the preconscious is dominantly personified to rouse the emergent consciousness thread.
Morning of January 21, 2018. Sunday. This type of aquarium-based dream was more common when I was a teenager. (An aquarium typically represents the nature of the dream state itself as relative to the dream self’s faux mind and its transition back into consciousness.) My dream begins in the southwest bedroom of the Cubitis house. I am sitting on the bed (which is aligned east to west near the south windows) and facing the doorway. Also on the bed is a large but shallow rectangular aquarium. A smaller end is closest to the doorway. I had been watching the water getting higher until it is about half the depth of the aquarium. There are a number of unusual small creatures in the aquarium, the largest being a multicolored flatworm of about four inches long, which I view as intriguing. Marilyn (an older half-sister on my mother’s side) eventually comes into the room. I tell her about the flatworm as she looks at it. There are some very unlikely living creatures as well, including oversized diatoms, one which looks like a tiny rocking chair (of less than an inch high) with a cape attached to the back. The cape has a floral pattern. Another is a heraldic shield (escutcheon) with wings, also less than an inch high. The “rocking chair” swims with its “cape”, the “shield” with its “wings”. Eventually, there are a couple larger creatures, though I soon notice the water lowering. I also somehow pour out some of the water and suddenly, all the creatures simultaneously turn into small transparent ovals, as if the sudden lack of water caused them to cease to exist in their normal form as well as all die at the same time. This surprises me. Later, I have my aquarium outside in an unknown location. It is implied to be our backyard, though the house does not look familiar. There are no fences, though there is a sequence of several backyards in front of me and behind me. There is a dense forest off to my left. Zsuzsanna is present. A few other people are also around, but I am not focused on who they might be. Two small creatures (“rocking chair” and “shield”) are similar to how they originally appeared, as I had put more water into my aquarium again, which caused some of them to come back to life, more in the manner of a fast-growing seed. There are also now a couple of miniature mammals. One is a tiny bear (not a bear cub but a miniature adult bear). I am somewhat wary about it eventually growing much bigger. I recall that Zsuzsanna and I had recently watched a movie about a black bear posing a threat to a suburban neighborhood. I pick up the miniature bear, taking it out of my aquarium and placing it on the ground to my left, thinking that it may run off into the forest, which is what I would like it to do. It is now about the size of a cat. Instead, it runs off to my right, closer to the back of our house, which Zsuzsanna and I are somewhat concerned about (though there is no implied threat). Current conscious self threads with literal context: My dream self (personified subconscious) recalls that I am married to Zsuzsanna and that we have children, but I have no recall of where we live in reality (my most common dream state memory anomaly). My dream renders a fictional setting (though ambiguously combined with a real setting from my youth) that my dream self accepts as legitimate (a main factor of the dream state). The flatworm was influenced by our youngest son’s toy sticky slug that he had shown me a day ago, though it differs from my dream in that the toy is solely gray. Although the miniature bear in my dream’s final scene is of a literal thread of recent memory (in addition to the childhood association described below), relating to a movie Zsuzsanna and I had watched the night before, my memory is incorrect in that the movie, “Unnatural” (2016), featured a huge polar bear (with altered DNA) in Alaska and only as a threat to a few people in one lodge in an isolated region, not a black bear in a forest’s warm climate near a residential neighborhood as my dream self incorrectly recalled. (However, we had also seen a movie a couple days ago with a scene of a grizzly bear attacking a man, though this was also in a cold region; “The Revenant” from 2015.) Older conscious self threads with literal context: The miniature bear (before growing somewhat) was originally of an identical size as a mother bear in a model kit, “Black Bear and Cubs”, that my older sister Carol sent me for Christmas in 1972 (though one of many kits she sent me in the same package) while I was living in Cubitis. Marilyn seemed as she did in the 1970s. My attempting to recall whether or not she was still alive (she died on February 13, 2014), even though she was perceived as alive and in the room with me, is a type of memory ambiguity common to the dream state though of which could not occur in wakeful consciousness and is proof that I am aware, though on a subliminal level, that I am dreaming. (Liminal dream control is far more common for me than what is claimed by society as non-lucidity.) Literal induction thread: The bed at the beginning is both an induction factor and a dream state indicator. It is a subliminal thread of memory recognizing that I had gone to sleep (unrelated to the myth of “interpretation”). Metaphorical induction thread: The literal bed dream state indicator, as an induction factor, is combined with my most common metaphorical dream state induction symbolism, water rising. Water and water rising symbolizes sleep and entering deeper into the dream state. There is very slight vestibular system symbolism here. This would be the two smaller creatures, where one has a cape and the other, wings. Additionally, it reflects the nature of RAS mediation, the shield as a factor of “shielding” myself from RAS and the other, in contrast (the rocking chair), just being passive while “watching” my dream. A rocking chair also has a link to vestibular system symbolism, as it rocks back and forth. Additionally, a cape is a dream state indicator as it typically relates to an association with bed sheets. Although the common water lowering waking symbolism occurs, I (subliminally) reinduce my dream for a short time, though which soon triggers a RAS mediation factor (the bear) in the final scene. However, the bear does not grow very large or become a threat, and I do not run from it. It moves from my left to my right (common waking orientation symbolism), going towards our backyard, symbolizing my inevitable return to consciousness.
Updated 05-05-2018 at 11:07 AM by 1390
Morning of January 5, 2018. Friday. The time is perceived, by looking at an analogue clock, as about 10:30 at night. Apparently, there is going to be a concert that Zsuzsanna and I will be going to (as well as at least our youngest son, as I see him in the room). We are in the bedroom of our present home. However, the room is different. Our bed is oriented correctly, but there is a toilet just beyond the foot of the bed, facing it (on the right side, and I sleep on the right side of the bed in reality) and at the southeast corner of the room. I do not consider this as unusual. It seems that it may be a Three Dog Night concert, though this is anachronistic (though my dream self does not consider it as wrong). I see their photograph in a newspaper I am reading and they mainly seem in their early thirties. Curiously, I am aware that I can download a song, though the technology is somehow embedded in the newspaper. I see a metallic image of an MP3 player on the page, with equidistant vertical graduation lines regarding the length of the recording. Under the right side of it is a downwards arrow that implies opening up a context menu or clicking it to download it. (I do not really consider how ridiculous a concept this is, as one cannot click on a newspaper page as on a computer monitor.) I have to use the toilet, but then I realize that if I did, we would be late. The concert apparently starts at about 10:45, which I see is only about three minutes away. I decide that we will have to miss going to the concert. I wake up anyway, as I need to use the bathroom in reality.
Updated 08-31-2019 at 05:48 AM by 1390
Morning of December 25, 2017. Monday. I am with my wife Zsuzsanna in a white skiff of which is moving slowly over the beautiful ocean in late afternoon. She is facing me, seeming very cheerful, sitting at the opposite end of the skiff. Behind her, in the distance, I see a mountainous rocky cape. I vaguely anticipate the eventual appearance of Talos (the giant automaton made of bronze, from the 1963 “Jason and the Argonauts” film) from behind the rocky region ahead and on my right, closest to our heading. Becoming semi-lucid and recognizing this as the RAS factor with no attempt to modulate it, I decide to will the skiff to turn right, into a narrow estuary bordered by high hills, with the idea that Talos will not see us. Eventually, the water is shallower and we slowly pass, on our right, two military jeeps with about seven men in total. At first, I am wary of them, as I suspect they have weapons, but then I decide that they must be here to fight Talos and are not interested in us. The general impassively watches us as our skiff approaches an area too shallow to continue, but there is no sense of threat and they remain in their positions. In a dream, being in a boat is autosymbolism for vaguely discerning the physical body in sleep, more so when muscles are more relaxed. Water is the absence of emotion and the essence of sleep and this dream begins with the common water induction. I anticipate RAS mediation as a possible threat. The RAS modulation precursor and potential emergent consciousness factor is rendered as Talos, though Talos is only seen briefly in the distance. There is semi-lucid mediation (not modulation) which seemingly results in the transference of Talos to the army general and WLWS (Water Lowering Waking Symbolism, which is common for me). Right-side oriented waking symbolism occurs (while sleeping on my left side).
Night of December 6, 2017. Wednesday. Fading into semi-lucidity after typical hypnagogic lucidity, I go beyond a stream surrounded by rock faces into an open area. This shifts into an idea to manifest a perfect combination of sensuality and eeriness. I decide to integrate Zsuzsanna into the role of Mary Medina as in the Grimm Fairy Tales 2017 Halloween Special, but I mostly let it flow on its own without in-dream control (by way of spoken affirmations by my dream self as in some apex lucidity states). There is a sustained event with an incompetent makeup artist. Zsuzsanna ends up with only white face paint on her forehead. This scene seems to repeat after a reset. Although some of the setting looks somewhat like a sketchy version of New Orleans, some of the buildings appear as if they are cardboard facades about a block or two away. I ignore this feature and focus on intensifying the nature of my dream. Ghosts wander about, but there is not much eeriness or plot. The outcome is in a large dining room. About seven ghosts (in Victorian clothes) play Musical Chairs with six gold chairs with red velvet seats and backs. As they are ghosts, there can be no winners or losers as they just phase into and out of each other when trying to sit and stay on the chairs (and for example, two taking up the same space on the same chair). This scenario is so amusing, it pulls me out of the dream state with an almost audible laugh.
Morning of December 4, 2017. Monday. I am in bed in our present home, though as usual, the appearance is different. Our bed is oriented as it was prior to the devastating storm that tore our roof off. Over time, I become aware that rain has possibly been coming through the ceiling (as it had in real life before the tarpaulins were placed over our house). (Note that it was raining in reality at the time of my dream, which I had become aware of through partial awakenings.) I notice that the ceiling has unusual downward bulges, especially in one area where it almost resembles the shape of a complex vase. The ceiling is not of narrow boards (of their original wood appearance) as it is in reality, but is lower and constructed of white ceiling tiles. I get up and tell Zsuzsanna to leave the area near our bed, as the ceiling might collapse. Between the dining room (which we use as our bedroom) and kitchen, a part of the wall (which does not exist in reality) and ceiling falls. It is more like an unusual curtain rod with some sort of odd elongated plumb-bob-like features hanging from across it. (This probably relates to an association with vertical evenness.) An identical feature on the other side also partly comes down. While looking towards our bed area, I also see a number of thin boards sticking randomly out from the left edge of the wall at various angles, which was apparently part of the inside of the wall. I am then in the room of our two youngest sons. Eventually, one of our daughters, a fictional character however, as in my dream there is a false memory of having at least five daughters around nine years old, comes in and talks to Zsuzsanna (with the girl standing near the south wall of the room and facing Zsuzsanna). She is Hispanic with darker skin. She seems worried. When I look at her, I notice something on her neck, the front lower area. I first worry that ceiling debris had gotten into her neck, possibly going through her neck from behind. Puzzling over this, I also worry for a short time that it is an actual bone slightly protruding from above her skin. Eventually, I decide that it is just a large droplet of water below her neck and I gaze directly at it for a few minutes, noticing a slight quivering effect. (This is liminal dream control in trying to reinduce my dream with water induction, especially as it appears on the neck of the precursory form of the personified preconscious, though it also relates to transferred associations with Zsuzsanna’s throat and the soothing of it, as she had been coughing in real life prior to my dream.) No longer worried about her status, I go back into our kitchen. Still, looking back, I notice that the preconscious form (as our fictional daughter) is looking up, blinking quickly, and moving her eyes side to side (symbolizing the REM factor of the waking transition). I ignore the RAS manifestation (which also foreshadows my hypnopompic illusion that comes after this dream ends) and as a result, my dream lasts a minute or two longer. While standing near the center of our kitchen again, I notice that the walls below the windows have large jagged holes directly leading to our backyard (representing the emergent consciousness factor with subliminal realization of being unconscious yet still being able to look deeper into my mind), the perimeter of these holes made up of splinters of wood. However, this area of our kitchen is rendered incorrectly. It is more like the inside of the residential turret of the northeast room I used to sleep in (on the second floor) in the King Street mansion or the first-floor bay window area on the south end (dining room) of the Loomis Street house. I consider that there is too much damage for our house to remain livable; as I also consider someone could easily crawl through a hole into our house if entering our backyard through our gate. After a short time, I see that bed sheets are now covering the holes and that they might also be smaller than I first thought. As I am thinking about this, I wake, realizing I am focused on the curtain that divides our bed from the kitchen area and listening to the rain and that I had been partly creating my otherwise non-lucid dream with vague threads of my conscious self’s will. As I am not fully awake, I am then looking up at our real ceiling. I see a hypnopompic illusion of large raindrops hanging everywhere across our ceiling. I blink my eyes a few times, but the illusion remains for a minute or two. (There is actually nothing present to create the illusion of water droplets. It is just an atypically sustained hypnopompic illusion with concern about when it did have water droplets present, though never as dense as in my illusion.)
Updated 05-22-2018 at 05:53 AM by 1390
Morning of November 25, 2017. Saturday. In my dream, I am with my wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we presently appear. The setting is unrelated to real life, though my dream self lacks the memory and awareness of our real living space as is often the case (depending on the depth and extent of sleep). It may be sections of streets and buildings modeled after ones in La Crosse (America), Brisbane (Australia), or both. Over time, I become aware of the typical “something wrong with the sun” scenario. There are streams of plasma reaching Earth. At one point, far above the horizon and over the unknown city, I notice streams of plasma moving outward from a central point. There are a few resets of this dream. There is a scene where the sun explodes like a small fireball in the sky, but later events where the sun is still present. Eventually, the end of the world is assumed, though I am not that fearful of what is to come. Many people run around screaming as pieces of the sun slam into skyscrapers but there are unusual distortions in later events. For example, a blob of plasma from the sky heads toward the middle of the street. Instead of an explosion, the blob slows, stopping a few feet above the street, and transforms into a giant transparent pale orange puppy (about ten feet high) that then walks slowly about on the street. After a time, I start to realize that, despite all the streams of plasma hitting the city, there does not appear to be much destruction. One crashes fairly close to me and I am unimpressed and consider that it is not real (though not with viable lucidity). There is another change without a cohesive transition. Members of my family and I, including Zsuzsanna and at least our two youngest children, are now riding in a car with an unknown dark-haired male driver of about forty. Streams of fire and plasma hit buildings on opposite ends of the street we travel through. However, it is learned that the falling plasma is created by some sort of machine on Earth and is only holographic, with no physical repercussions. This also explains why there appear to be no destroyed buildings at this point, though the event is still continuing. This end of the world dream is somewhat atypical in being revealed to not be a celestial event as in many other such dreams. However, the majority of my common end of the world dreams since early childhood often present “something wrong with the sun”, rather than for example, “something wrong with the moon”. There is a logical reason for this… As a dream occurs while unconscious and typically not during the main part of the day (other than during an afternoon or early evening nap), a dream, based on circadian rhythms factors, will symbolize the nature of the conscious self identity as the sun, because the sun is associated with wakefulness and the moon associated more with sleeping and dreaming. As one is asleep and dreaming, “something wrong with the sun” occurs far more often simply because one is not awake. This is validated by fairly rare “something wrong with the moon” dreams occurring at a different time in the sleep cycle than the “something wrong with the sun” dreams. In fact, the specific dynamics (studied from when I was only a child) relate directly to the specific time within the sleep cycle, which validates it has little to do with “interpretation” and more about biology and not being conscious at a specific time. “Something wrong with the sun” in a dream is simply a metaphor for not being conscious and being aware of the real sun. How hard is that? Dreams, after all, are all about distortions, errors in memory, and the failure of thinking skills that naturally comes from being unconscious (other than literal prescience, which is not limited to the dream state anyway). An “end of the world” scenario is often just a result of the dream inevitably coming to an end when more sleep is subliminally desired, though all factors must be looked at closely, though not in wrongfully assuming that the “I am” of the dream state (personified subconscious, which has no viable memory or intelligence) is the same as the “I am” of the current conscious self identity. It is rare for the personified preconscious (in this case, the unknown male driver) to passively sustain the dream state since its purpose (via RAS) is to mediate waking. However, my dream self had already worked out it was not the end of the world, though I did not attain viable lucidity prior to waking.
Morning of November 6, 2017. Monday. In my dream, I am seemingly implied to be in our present home, though it is very different. For a time, our youngest son is watching television and our youngest daughter is also present. (In my dream, our television seems to be in the center of a much larger version of our kitchen and facing north. In actuality, it is in our lounge room and faces south.) At one point, there are distortions in the television screen. There is too much red dominating the overall image. I read the instruction manual and there is information about adjusting colors. It specifically mentions that the small elongated knob for adjusting red is to the right of the knob for adjustment of the extent of black and that the knob for red must be turned to the left to decrease the color and prevent it from being too bright or bleeding into other images. There are a number of small plastic knobs on the back of the television. After a time, I notice that it appears to have worked. The picture looks a bit more balanced. However, I eventually notice that features that are supposed to be red (including some sort of oval timer superimposed at the top left of the screen) are now a pale purple and I consider adjusting it again. Our youngest son watches a show about video games and their characters. I notice that the television is on its side so that now the image is vertically rectangular, yet fits the scenes that show people standing, as their feet are correctly downward. This seems strange to me. Eventually however, the television is back in its previous position where it is viewed as normal widescreen. Still, I had placed it on the floor yet consider it is not really watchable while in that position. During this time, I had not adjusted other knobs. I adjust the knob for red again, slowly turning it a short distance back to the right, as well as turning a few knobs for other colors. Soon, something happens and the picture becomes smaller and there are now only random horizontal white lines on the screen. This occurs after a sort of popping noise. Our youngest daughter puts her feet against the screen. I consider that I must have destroyed the television by changing the colors too much. I know that it will be very expensive to replace. I go to tell Zsuzsanna about the ruined television. She is sitting back on our bed. At first, I think she had injured her forehead somehow. I eventually see that she has a black sleeping eye mask partly on though the eye patches are doubled up on her forehead, above the area between her eyes. My dream eventually fades from this point. There are a few subliminal dream state indicators here. One is how the television is on its side at one point as relating to how the physical body is different in sleep in lying down - as well as the eyes seeing the environment as “turned sideways” when lying on one’s side. The main indicator is my subliminal knowledge of red being an end marker for the dream state. Red typically only dominates a dream when I am closer to waking after sleeping a bit too long and as such, is analogous to a “red alert” (a more dominating RAS factor). Although I am not lucid, I still maintain this realization subliminally, and deliberately lower the red value in the television’s image. I do this by turning the knob to the left with the knob for black on the left side of that one, black symbolizing being unconscious, so a part of my unconsciousness is aware of this, that is, deliberately trying to go back into unconsciousness to sustain my dream, even though I am not otherwise viably lucid. This aspect of black as symbolizing unconsciousness is carried over as a dream state indicator in seeing Zsuzsanna in bed though awake, yet having a black sleeping eye mask doubled up over her “third eye”. (The third eye refers to the gate that leads to inner realms, yet I still do not realize I am dreaming at this point. There have been thousands of dreams with very precise dream state indicators as in this dream, where I still did not become viably lucid, though many others where I have.)
Morning of October 31, 2017. Tuesday. The dream state induction symbolism here is water flowing in (most common). The waking transition symbolism here is water lowering over time and “return flight” waking symbolism (most common; over twenty percent of regular dreams and about ninety percent of all dreams). Dream state induction symbolism and waking transition symbolism are inherent to the dream state itself based on the real-time dynamics of going to sleep, being unconscious, and waking, and is unrelated to real life or the inventive untruthfulness of “interpretation”. These forms of induction and waking transition factors have occurred at least once per day for over fifty years. The water induction and reduction is biologically based on the glymphatic system and the flight-related symbolism is based on the reticular activating system (RAS) and inner ear dynamics during sleep (especially as a factor relating to the fictitious dream body as being upright while the real physical body is lying down, which is what causes most falling dreams and is unrelated to the deception of “interpretation” or cruelly fabricated “meaning” to negate someone’s livelihood under the oppression of disinformation - in fact, if you watch a baby sleeping and a noise occurs in some cases when they are in the dream state or when air blows on them, especially their face, they will throw up their arms and automatically briefly maintain a falling position - not to mention the common term “falling asleep” - how could people miss this?). Stepping into a beach scene in late afternoon (a very common lucid entry simply because I like the beauty of the ocean and the liminal space of the beach, which symbolizes the state between dreaming and waking), a young version of Zsuzsanna in black lingerie approaches on a black horse. The essence of beauty increases and is appreciated. Zsuzsanna is with me in an extended love-making scene. My lucidity decreases to semi-lucidity though my conscious self identity remains intact. Sexuality symbolizes…wait for it…sexuality (oh snap), at least in lucid and semi-lucid dreams, because, well, that is what I unconsciously will via conscious self identity (it is not rocket science). Over time, after indulging in sensuality for seemingly a long time, the usual water lowering event as a waking precursor “timer” (common since around age four) commences. (Among other analogies, this directly represents the tidal analogy of the glymphatic system.) We have somehow teleported, while on our sides, to a field of knee-high grass adjacent to the beach we had just been on. In the distance, I see a red combine harvester approaching, but not that close to our location. “Oh-oh,” I say, but with somewhat of a comedic mocking of the semi-lucid dream content. A change occurs where some of the ocean water nearest the beach is topped with ice. I see what I think is a helicopter and I assume it is the flight symbolism (end marker) out of my dream. Instead, my dream does not decay but transitions to being slightly more vivid again. “It’s a snowmocopter,” I say, noticing that it is actually a snowmobile (though was a helicopter that changed into the snowmobile). I sit down on the snowmobile and do some sort of kick start maneuver with my left foot as if I was on a motorcycle. As I am doing this, the preconscious (as an unfamiliar young male) sneaks up from behind me. Some sort of strange teleportation occurs again, and I am standing and watching the preconscious on the snowmobile (as I am standing on the left of the snowmobile), and he is now trying to start it. “Well, that thing ain’t gonna fly,” I say, as he looks amused, as I laugh myself awake.
Morning of October 25, 2017. Wednesday. There are two types of dream scenarios influenced by the “Supernatural” television series; ones in which I am “in” the show’s world (without realizing that it is fiction) and ones in which I am aware of the Winchesters as their real-life counterparts as actors and on the set of the show or another location. This dream is of the former type; I am “in” the world where “Supernatural” is imagined as “real”. Sam and Dean, and apparently their father, have discovered a portal to another world, though it is more like a pocket universe in the form of a large cave. They need to retrieve something deeper within the cave, such as important maps or other documents and possibly treasure. There are unusual features related to working near the opening of this cave. There is a small pond as well as some sort of dynamic staircase that rises from the pond and which changes in position and orientation (including upside-down). At one point, there are very loud footsteps and vibrations that imply a giant anthropomorphic creature approaching the mouth of the cave from inside; a giant manlike beast that wakes up when the portal is open, apparently preventing people from going farther into the cave, though I never see this giant. They close the portal for a time, though I decide to run off and hide in an orange grove. I think about which orange tree would be the most suitable to hide behind. At this point, it seems like the orange grove across the street from my Cubitis home (where I have not lived since 1978), which then implies that the portal was in about the center of the Cubitis living room, bilocated as such (environmental bilocation being a very common aspect of my dreams since childhood, yet of which I hardly ever see other people write about). Absentmindedly, I go back to the location where Sam and Dean are. They seem very cheerful. They have an unusual advantage now. There are two living idols that are on our side of the portal that are preventing two smaller living idols from going back into the entrance of the cave. The smaller ones are only about a foot high and the other two about two feet in height. They look somewhat like Maori idols. I watch the smaller two try to get back into the cave, but they eventually give up because of the larger two guarding it. They then go to a playground and have fun sliding down the slide, exclaiming “wee” and giggling. I watch the activity of these unusual living statues for a few minutes. Sam and Dean are now getting what they want from the cave. The giant will sleep when the two small idols are not present inside. He could not possibly wake up otherwise. From here, I absentmindedly wander off into a featureless field (a common liminal space setting in my dreams, especially in the last scene), which seems to be at night. A beautiful young girl approaches though I do not fully recognize her as a young version of Zsuzsanna (even though she is, though my conscious self identity is still subliminal and my non-lucid dream self amnesiac and of fictitious dynamics). We hug and kiss but she says something about needing to go somewhere. I assume I will see her again later as my dream fades. Since early childhood, other than literal prescience (including biological foreshadowing as well as premonitory factors of the waking jolt itself) and many other literal features, my dreams have easily been seen as mostly being about dreaming and waking in real time (and the symbolism as such, obviously as it is a mental process in real time) rather than the nebulous and ill-informed concept of “interpretation” that many people believe in for whatever reason. The same is true for this dream. The cave represents the status of being unconscious (including the redundant factor of a dream as if of “another world” that “hides” the conscious self identity) as well as deeper levels of memory (validated by the Cubitis setting, not seen in real life since 1978). The four idols represent dynamics of the reticular activating system, which mediates the level of consciousness (and is responsible for the nature of waking symbolism, sometimes utilizing real-life environmental ambiance or physical discomfort of sleeping position). The two smaller idols (emergent consciousness factors, unfeasibly otherwise modeled after the preconscious, representing the two brain hemispheres) need to be present to activate waking, yet the two larger idols (dream-based figures representing my subliminal desire to sleep longer) prevent them from causing the giant to wake. The two smaller idols still playfully simulate waking (to indicate that waking up is not so bad) by playfully going down the slide, which is akin to the common biological falling sensation of waking. After this, a young Zsuzsanna (mostly as she appeared when we first met in real life, though she is wearing slacks and a blouse) is rendered as the emergent consciousness factor to “try again”. This time, coalescence waking symbolism is the key and the feasible result, which symbolizes both my dream self’s coalescence back into my conscious self identity, my link to the familiar, and the dawning of conscious self identity recognition, which is not present in many dream states. “Beyond the Martian Time Barrier / The Martian Casket” from 1973 is a very good example of the same core symbolism. The status of sleeping and waking bilocated in the center of the Cubitis living room in mostly the same way, though in that dream, REM sleep was also symbolized as the “sleeping” Martian’s eyes being seen to move realized as being mine as reflected back. In that case, there was not an additional waking symbolism segment as here, as it was not needed.
Morning of October 22, 2017. Sunday. In the last segment of an otherwise sensual dream of the usual daily sequences, I am aware of Zsuzsanna eventually standing directly behind fancy batwing doors, inside the building we had made love in, as I am now on a public footpath. The batwing doors actually seem to have the evenly divided silhouette of a bat at the top as well as stained glass panels very similar to the Barolin Street house windows. The setting seems to be a three-storey hotel of an 1800s style, though there is not a clear essence of being in the distant past. There is a vague association with Brooklyn, though the location is otherwise unknown. She is wearing an old-fashioned but very fancy red corset. She is also wearing a black cowgirl hat with at least four diamonds horizontally across the front. She seems very cheerful. Even though I am not fully lucid at this point, probably just on the threshold of active lucidity (and my conscious self identity is mostly present), I still start to vaguely reflect upon the waking symbolism elements though not fully in recalling what a dream is (a common ambiguity that cannot be resolved in conscious afterthought). I recognize the doorway waking symbolism (a doorway symbolizing the exit point of a dream) and consider the flight symbol element (the “bat wings”). Red is usually the last color (or dominating color) seen prior to waking, though usually only when I have been sleeping a bit too long. The cowgirl hat with diamonds symbolizes the activation of the emergent consciousness factor. Just as I start thinking about “lights on” or “lights off” without fully realizing what I am contemplating, I wake. Despite my dreams usually having the same core symbolism since early childhood, they are intriguingly rendered in a virtually infinite number of combinations. For example, I can easily compare this dream with “A Bat Not a Mistletoe” (from December 2012) where, instead of the doorway waking symbolism utilizing sensuality and batwing doors, what was believed to be a mistletoe turns out to be a rubber bat nailed directly above a regular doorway. Both dreams redundantly synthesized the “return flight” element (that is, return flight waking symbolism, a factor of over one in five of my dreams since early childhood) with doorway waking symbolism. The flight element in both dreams is static and artificial (divided wooden bat silhouette in this dream and rubber bat in the 2012 dream), which relates to anticipatory knowledge of the waking transition as of the involuntary abdominal movement in waking rather than my more common back spasm waking event. Dreams are biologically self-premonitory this way, though the (ascending) reticular activating system (RAS) does sometimes seem a vessel for control in some cases, which I have experimented with at times since early childhood, but with usually unpredictable results, with the problematic ambiguous nature of triggering it just by thinking of it, the aspects very similar to trying to control the dynamics of a sneeze.
Morning of October 17, 2017. Tuesday. My wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we appear now are living in the Cubitis house. There is a gentle rain. I am aware that our oldest son will be returning from his job (same job as in real life despite the erroneous 1978 setting of Florida rather than here in Australia). I contemplate if one of us should go and get him so that he will not get wet walking back in the rain. Zsuzsanna says that she will when the time comes. I am in the living room with Zsuzsanna. I look out the windows into the Cubitis backyard (it seems to be late morning but still raining) and notice a row of tall purple larkspurs that are close to the windows, under the awnings, and parallel to the entire east side of the house. They are not yet in full bloom. I think about asking Zsuzsanna when she planted them (perhaps very early on the previous morning), as I do not recall when she could have done this, which puzzles me slightly as I consider how wonderfully industrious and sedulous she is. In an area near the center of the large backyard are a few weeds where there is otherwise mostly short grass, but I also see about three or four potato plants in a couple random spots. It is raining, so I will pull out the weeds later. There is a vivid sense of love and peace. Zsuzsanna tells me that our oldest son will probably be off work about an hour early, as people do not usually shop there when it is raining. (This turned out to be prescient curiously enough, and it has not happened in this way before. I fail to see why people would stay home from shopping just because it is raining, but I guess I forgot that some people are “depressed” by rainy weather, whereas I am not.) I have been a devoted dream journalist all my life (and I even married my literal dream girl) and yet have never held any interest or belief in “interpretation”, mainly because my dreams, other than literally prescient threads, naturally decode themselves prior to fully waking, revealing their origins and manner of synthesis, but also because my dreams have held the same basic components and patterns, especially variations of waking symbolism and the same RAS triggers (such as emergent alertness to real environmental noise) since early childhood. Look closely at the threads that are accurate and those that have no basis for accuracy. My personified subconscious (dream self) is aware that I am happily married to Zsuzsanna, yet we are living in a house in America (Florida), where Zsuzsanna (and our children) have never been and I have not been since 1978 when I was only seventeen. (Zsuzsanna and our children have always lived in Australia.) This is not even the house in Wisconsin I was living in years before Zsuzsanna and I first began writing to each other. My dream self is aware that it is raining in real life at our present location (and in fact, this dream began within seconds of falling asleep again) and (again, as in the above paragraph) I am in a different house in my dream, also aware that it is raining, yet without the awareness of where I am in time and space (and how interesting is that?). I am aware that our oldest son has a job and even the exact location of where he works, and yet again, there is no conflict between the impossible contrast of living in Cubitis (an isolated rural area through which only a small highway intersected) and in an urban area in a different country. (My dream self usually does not find the implication of either bilocation or mixed-up composites, which are very common in my dreams, as unusual in any way.) I am aware that there are weeds in our backyard in real life (it has been raining continuously for a few days), yet (again) this is rendered into the backyard of an incorrect setting. Despite the otherwise fictional nature of this scenario, there are a few real-life factors, and even a typical thread of prescience (which I have always experienced on a day-to-day basis, yet do not always go into detail about as my entries are often already very long).
Morning of September 13, 2012. Thursday. I become lucid in a slow entry transition (the usual lucid and willfully manipulated hypnagogia after making love in real life) and our bedroom takes on different features. Of course, there is still the residual energy of wanting more intimacy and sustained harmony. Zsuzsanna and I eat strawberries (on a small yellow plate) at one point. After our romance and intimacy, I am somewhat in a non-lucid state now. I become puzzled, more over my decreasing level of awareness (but which vivifies in the last scene) than by the fact our bedroom is rendered with the wrong layout (not directly linked to the lounge room and kitchen as it is in real life). The paint on the horizontal wall boards is peeling (yet it was not before) which I vaguely recall means that my dream is beginning to ebb, yet my lucidity is no longer viable. I feel an urge to see if the door is open and it is. I approach the doorway. There is nothing visible beyond. I feel puzzled by an anticipatory mood emerging from within me. The Cat in the Hat’s hat appears in the doorway, though with no cat. It floats in the air, tips slightly forward and I feel amused, waking with cheerfulness and humor. This dream has the usual dynamics as have been in the same sequential components (through tens of thousands of dreams) since early childhood, though I have grown to appreciate, enjoy, and greatly respect how the nuances are always slightly different. Firstly, it is doorway waking symbolism, where a doorway is rendered as the dream’s implied exit point as an emergent consciousness factor (sometimes triggered by real-life environmental noise but not always, as the reticular activating system often uses the memory of a door knock or door-opening sound to activate waking, though no door knock occurs in this case). Secondly, the sense of puzzlement is what causes the stovepipe hat to be rendered. Although “The Skunk” is an early childhood dream from 1965, it has very similar dynamics, where the white part of the skunk formed a question mark when I entered the higher liminal space of unconsciousness while becoming closer to consciousness (and also ends with doorway waking symbolism). Stovepipe hats represent the emergent consciousness and the concept is related to “put on your thinking cap” as analogous to waking from the dream state (emergence of thinking skills which the non-lucid dream self does not possess). They have featured as such in a number of my dreams since childhood. Finally, the essence of a cat is linked but not fully. Depending on the dream of course, cats often serve as a liminal space symbol. This is mainly because of my childhood association of a cat sitting on a fence, a fence being the division between unconsciousness and emerging consciousness.
Morning of October 13, 2017. Friday. My wife Zsuzsanna and our children are living in the Loomis Street house (with no recall on my part that she has never been to America and no recall of my relatives of whom lived in the house). Although our youngest son is the age he is now, our youngest daughter is a baby. We all seem to be going out as a family, though I am not sure if it includes a shopping trip or perhaps a movie. At one point, I begin to have concern about where our youngest daughter has gotten off to, though I consider that, as she is a baby, she would probably not have gone off on her own somewhere, at least very far. As I am sitting on the couch in the living room (facing north as it was in reality when I was last there) and our youngest son is to my left in an armchair and getting ready for us to go out, I see that our baby daughter is inside one of my shoes on the floor in front of me, though a bit to my left. I see her face looking out from the opening of my shoe. She is lying on her back looking out. I am puzzled about how she ended up inside my shoe like this. Perhaps she crawled into it and had fallen asleep for a time. I do not consider that her size is impossibly small. I am somewhat relieved that I now know where she is. I am concerned about her for a short time. She makes a couple faces, but also seems to be holding her breath at one point, her cheeks puffing out. My concern passes as she continues to make different faces, moving her mouth and eyes in unusual ways. She seems cheerful and amused. It always amazes me how vivid a dream can be and realistic in some ways yet totally absurd in others, and yet my non-lucid dream self does not question such impossible nonsense at all.
Morning of October 7, 2017. Saturday. In the first part of my dream, I am seated at a picnic table, though it appears to be some sort of school. I am sitting at the third picnic table from the front of the class where the teacher is. (I am sitting in about the middle on the side opposite the side closest to the front of the room. I am facing the front of the room.) At one point, a young version of Zsuzsanna comes in and sits down directly on my left. The teacher objects to this, claiming that my talking to other students will distract from the class. I threaten him and tell him that he should not be so disrespectful of natural human relationships. He comes over to us with a folded piece of paper, opens it, and starts trying to “teach” us about vampires, zombies, and fictional creatures in general, that is, integrating them into a calculus problem, and I inform him that those are not even real, not a part of life (at least my life), and I then tell him that he is crazy and should not be teaching such garbage. Eventually, there is some sort of activity outside. Apparently, a road has been altered by some sort of “flaw in time”. I and the other students start to take notes to determine what the source of the problem is. The road is unusual, as traveling in one direction, one sees roadkill (at least three unidentifiable dead animals) but traveling in the opposite direction, one sees a couple rabbits and a groundhog or two. These are apparently the animals that have died when traveling from the other direction. I start to consider that it may actually relate to the mentality and beliefs of the people walking or driving down that road. The students stand in a long line along the road (parallel to the road) doing calculus equations to discover what is going on. I notice a young boy who is writing on a large sheet of paper. I tell him to make sure he is solving the vertical parts of the equation (such as complex fractions, though the imagery actually does have unrealistic longer vertical sequences including sigma summation in vertical form) as well as the horizontal and he nods and tells me that he is. I then ask him if he knows what the symbols are, specifically the “sideways M” (sigma), and he nods again. I look again to see if there are any symbols for vampires or other nonsense. My dream fades from here.
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