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I’ve been training rigorously and am at a point now where I’m lucid all night in all dreams on most nights.

Last night, a dream entity representing my subconscious mind put me through long trials designed to test my endurance.

During these tests, the dream was designed to “trick” me into nonlucidity, hinting that I was being tested for mastery over lucid dreams.

My fears and discomforts were used to throw me off track.

I had wounds in my arms, stomach, etc. at some point, but since I knew it was a dream, I shut off pain and didn’t care.

insects swarmed me, but I knew it was just a dream and didn’t let the sensation get to me.

Ghouls and monsters would jump out at me from otherwise seemingly normal scenes, but jump scares didn’t bother me because I knew it was a dream and just found it to be silly. I jumped at the monsters in return.

Family members I stopped contact with in waking life appeared to antoginize me like they used to, but I regarded them like flies knowing it was a dream and ignored the pestering.

Dream characters sometimes turned demonic, but I didn’t care.

I wish I could remember the whole narrative with every detail, but this was one long dream that lasted from around 10 pm to 3am.

The dream was “restarted” in creative ways to try and throw me off, though. Initially, the world was a town made of speghetti. This was the easiest to be lucid in.

When I wasn’t fooled by speghetti town, a dream character led me to a door leading outside to a more realistic setting. This was a test to get me nonlucid, but I knew this was a dream too because walking through a door isn’t how “waking up” works. That’s not a proper state transition.

Then I had a false awakening into my home that mimicked proper state transition, but nope, I knew I was traveling out of state right now and I’m not home, so I knew it was a dream.

Next I was in a realistic thriftshop type of store. I noticed TY beanie babies (a dream sign for me) on a shelf and knew it was a dream again.

False awakening happened again.

I forget how many times I had these false awakenings and in what order, but it was so frequent after a while that I became lucid just off of the repetition alone.

I falsely “woke up” in the right bed at one point. The room was convincingly realistic, but I still knew it was a dream. My spouse was sleeping to my left, which was the wrong side from my physical reality.

As I laid there, I started to hallucinate. A ghostly figure formed. I knew my fears were being tested again and I didn’t get scared of it, rejected it from my experience and it faded.

A shadow figure formed next and I shrugged that off too.

Then I had sensations of sleep paralyzis (just like I used to get), but it didn’t phase me the same way real sleep paralysis doesn’t anymore (I cured myself of decades worth of SP a couple years ago).

I went back into my lucid dream of the same rural town and rode a horse into the hills where my remaining fear finally manifested…

Behind the hills, reality ceased to exist. It was just an empty skybox, like the edge of a video game. Out of bounds.

I promptly turned my horse around and went back to the center of town away from the void.

I almost went into one of the buildings, but there was a crack in the wall with a bright white light shining through it. I sensed that the inside of this building didn’t exist, it was an out of bounds void inside, so I didn’t open the door.

“Who’s in control now?” said a voice all around me. My “dream” was speaking to me. You could say this is my subconscious, or whatever you want to call it.

The voice was neither male or female and seemed omnipresent. It had a taunting condescention oddly mixed with compassionate concern. I could hear both tones combined. The words were the same, but it was like two voices (the same voice) speaking them with different tones.

Every time I turned around, there was another out of bounds crack in the dream reality. Even the horse had cracks in it, so I got off, feeling an intense fear start to get to me.

I was confident that I could run, though. I can always wake myself up, and I will without hesitation if I touch the voids. My ultimate escape. Knowing this helps keep me calm even when I’m scared in my dreams, and I try to stay in them.

My dream is well aware of this fact. We’ve had this dynamic with my fears for more than 20 years (I’m aware that my dream isn’t a separate entity, but it presented as such in this particular dream). The difference now is that my lucidity rate is almost at 100% and I’ve overcome most of my fears… Most.

I teleported myself out of there completely and was back at the speghetti town. But this time, it was from third person perspective. Obviously a dream, but then I zoomed out and I realized I was just watching a movie on my phone.

My spouse was standing next to me. I stood there looking at my phone and thought it was odd. I just dreamed about that place.. I started telling my spouse about the neat testing dreams and lost lucidity in the process.

But mid-talking to her, it hit me. I realized this was a dream because there was no transition between waking and dream state (again) just now. I looked around at the colorfully painted walls of the pavilion I was standing in.

There were dream characters walking around, going about their business as if all was normal.

“Hey, wait a minute. This a dream still, isnt it?~” I turned and said to one of them with amusement.

The world froze. All of them looked at me like zombies.

The one I spoke to transformed in front of me, revealing a gray humanoid creature with red cube for a head. It smiled back in amusement. “Nothing fools you, huh?”

I nodded knowingly, recognizing that this was the source of the voice earlier (a manifestation of my subconscious mind). “Nope.” I said confidentally.

I was slightly disappointed that I was nonlucid at all. I thought about how I’m totally going to tell my spouse about this dream when I’m up for reasies, though. What a saga!

I was proud of myself. This was implied to be the final round. My lucidity had been put through the wringer, and I passed most of the tests, but… not all of them.

“Your fear of the void still rules over you.” the cube-headed figure stated tauntingly with implication that it would continue to taunt and control me so long as I had this fear.

But I sensed the compassion and concern, too. It also wanted me to get better, overcome the fear, and free myself from… myself. This was all me being my own antogonist, creating my own trials.

Then, the whole scene around me vanished. No cracks, no running, no time for me to escape. It happened too quickly for me to properly react.

I suddenly found myself standing in the void.

I was about to wake myself up, but I didn’t. I held my breath, feeling tense as a brick as I stood in front of the cube-headed figure. All the other dream characters vanished, but this one stayed with me, still standing in the same spot, looking at me, waiting. Knowing it represented my subconscious and the dream, it felt comforting.It was still here with me.

I looked around at the gray void, which had a black frame that formed a box shape we were standing in, providing some slight amount of structure, which also helped reduce my fear.

I was braced for terror, but never quite reached it fully like I normally would. I was able to stand there calmly and feel the tension leave my body (well, dream body).

I did eventually end the dream after a moment, but not from pure terror.
I was scared, but not as bad. I gave myself a moment of dreamless sleep afterwards, then woke myself up.

I’ve never stood in the void like that for so long and felt so close to okay… But I was spent. Normally my lucid dreams energize me, but all the suspense and tension from the fear trials was tiring. Plus I needed a restroom break.

It’s 3:24 AM at the time of journaling this. I need to go back to sleep, but I’m too scared of void… I don’t want go go back in. Maybe I’ll just stay up.

Update: It’s now 4:35 AM. I’m ready to go back in. I feel less alone when I’m with myself in the void. Back to bed now.

April 25, 2015

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My New Mommy
I was in class with the kids but we were in this weird room. I sat in the corner with my computer, and I greeted the kids as they came in because the door was right in my corner. I remember that the room was made with light wooden floors and walls, and was very open to the outside; there were big windows. We all had on headphones with microphones that were all connected, so all we could hear was each other. I was checking kids' papers (we did research papers) and sources. M and T had the same source for their paper about women's suffrage. I walked around a little more and then sat down and turned on my headphones. K said "if i loose my mom and I'm all tragic will you be my new mommy Ms. Kestrel?" And I pretended I didn't hear it, because I wasn't sure what an appropriate response would be...

I was with K, T and M later at recess or something and we walked around the back of the school. There were interesting stairs and weird structures so I climbed the stairs and came to a pretty hill overlooking an orchard of sorts with some forested areas surrounding it. It was sunset and very pretty. It reminded me a lot of the space Zukin and I found in Germany while biking one day.



The Next Level Cult

I was in some kind of survival game, or a spiritual/intuition test. A bunch of people were let into a big room with about 7 holes in the ceiling and ladders hanging down from them. We had to pick one of the ladders to go through. N (one of my students) was there but I don think I recognized anyone else. He was trying to reach one of the ladders but couldn't because he was too small. I lifted him up to it and then went to a spot where two ladders were in the far left corner. Almost everyone was choosing the ladder that had a platform to reach it, but something drew me to the other one. It wasn't a lot harder to get to or anything, so I didn't know why everyone was going up the other one. I had to fenangle just a little bit to reach it, and climbed up...

I came up into another room with a really tall ceiling. There was also some ledges. It was as if the room before had a huge box over it, if that makes sense. There was a very short (maybe a foot tall) fence down the middle of the room, which was made of spaghetti, or something else that wasn't all that strong. There were about 15-20 people on my side and lots of people on the other side. There was a voice through a speaker somewhere. It told us that anyone who tried to cross the fence in the middle would be thrown off the edge, into something deadly... The voice also told everyone on the other side of the room to go back home. Then the guy in charge of this event came up the ladder on our side, and greeted us as people who had good intuition. The ladder test was to weed out the people whose intuition wasn't good enough for the following tests and trials.

We all sat in a circle and he explained the point of this all to us. He said we would be feasting tonight... he was sitting between me and a guy I had met and been chatting to, and he seemed to be favoring us, like talking mostly to us, or at least looking at us more. Anyway, he said we'd be feasting and then looked right at me, ran his hand down my back to my waist. "Feasting," he repeated and I was just like "No." Very firmly.

He seemed put off but in a good way, as if I had impressed him, and moved to the girl sitting next to me and said "feasting?" She said hesitantly no. He tried a few more girls and then said something about us "not liking vampires too, I guess." I rolled my eyes and we were all thinking, ugh, Twilight. The Master said, "well, I mean, I read the first books." I had to confess that I had as well in high school. Then he talked about Bella birthing Renesme and this is where it got even weirder... He got on the floor and spread his legs, pretending to be giving birth, scooting around on the floor on his butt and making weird faces. "You'd pay to see that, right?!" We were all a little disconcerted. "Right?!" He was a little crazed here, and then he zeroed in on me again which made me feel super uncomfortable. It was as if he was targeting me more now, and planned to get me pregnant, then keep everyone here for 9 months to watch me have his baby... That or like he knew I was already pregnant or something. I was starting to think this guy was an insane creep... But this test was somehow important to complete.

We moved on to a new conversation though I can't remember the topic. I know that we broke off to do a series of tests but that whenever the Master stood up and held out his hands we were to create a linked circle. It got more and more cultish. Eventually we ended up at my house; we were competing in my driveway. One of us had a little chocolate-ish blob and the other was supposed to try to squish it. I was partnered with H (one of my students) who had just appeared there. H's blob started going down the driveway hill and I was able to pretty easily squish it, so I won and started up the driveway again. It had been all nice and warm and spring-like, but once I got to the top of the driveway, in front of the garage, there was snow on the ground. I was walking through it barefoot (we were all wearing barely anything by now; short shorts and tank tops with hair pulled up) and then the Master threw snow at me and it got in my left ear. He started throwing snow at all of us, and we weren't quite sure what to do about it. None of us were sure whether this guy was a mad creep or a genius.

I went into the porch but noticed a circle gathering in the garage, so I dropped my stuff and went to join the circle. We were all standing. The Master was standing opposite me and said, "everyone sit down." But even though i heard him clearly, at the same time there was a crystal clear, loud, strong voice in my left ear that said "Don't. Move." So I stayed standing. 3 or 4 other people stayed standing and the rest were sitting. All the sitting people closed their eyes and seemed to be asleep. The Master looked at each of us (one of them was the guy I met at the beginning and had a slight crush on) and was about to give further instructions (I knew now that I had passed some sort of spiritual or other-worldly test... I had been chosen, but I don't know what for) but I woke up.

It's strange, because I think I was in and out of waking throughout this whole dream. Like, I knew I was awake in bed even as I was in the dream. Two places at once, almost. It was strange.

Morning of March 23, 2015. Monday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and I are in a car in an unknown metropolitan region, though it could be Brisbane. I believe she is driving though the scene is not rendered that fully or clearly - it is more like we are moving along within a light mist that is only implying travel by car. She is relating to me how a (unknown) younger female was caught sending stolen precious gems in the mail (diamonds, emeralds, amethysts, and rubies - which I become aware makes the acronym “dear”). Apparently, my wife is required to sit with other people and take some sort of government-related tests. The location and the building is all unfamiliar.

There are perhaps a dozen people in the large room sparsely seated at several tables. Although the scene does not really have that much of a scholastic setting or mood, I become aware that the people are working on one-page third grade math tests for the most part. This has to do with some sort of government-related assessment to see the potential of certain individuals in society. It seems that each test for each person is slightly different (possibly so that people cannot copy another person’s answer). Mostly, there are one to two-digit addition problems and a few multiplication problems. Most of the people are over thirty and seem to be quite challenged by (seemingly at first) third grade math. Every now and then I notice something different, such as something that resembles a “Wishing Well” newspaper feature. I am not involved in any testing - I am only there for my wife due to complete distrust of mainstream authority.

At one point, I notice that Zsuzsanna is sleeping on a table on her side due to the stressful environment. I walk to the other side of the room and talk with an older wealthy-looking lady working on a test. She seems over fifty. I tell her that I know that it is (generic) third grade math because of my long-term experience with teaching K12 mathematics (though mostly based on combined international standards). At this point, however, I do see a long division problem on her page where the divisor is three numbers. However, I notice that the dividend area is not a complete number and to the right of the digits that are visible is a long black bar filling out the rest of the area under the long division symbol. I tell the older lady that this is not “real” mathematics and that some additional seemingly simple equations cannot resolve to decimal values (even though they are implied to), suspecting that something is “wrong”, yet I do not become lucid at these impossible math tasks though which still can apparently be answered “correctly” (that is, without the “no solution” option). I get the impression that some test questions may be in octal, by which such as four plus four would then correctly equal ten. I contemplate that the government could easily trick people by not stating what base system is being used - thus playing on the general public’s ignorance of higher mathematics and thus no one would pass, which irritates me somewhat (even though the tests really did seem to be at primary level earlier on). (Looking back at this entry and including additional pertinent notes, I consider that it may vaguely have been inspired by a similar scene from “The Flintstones” from 1994, concerning the whole math test scenario.)

From here, I walk across the room and see Zsuzsanna sitting in an armchair and another (unknown) female is on her right and other females are standing. It seems to be a smaller open room off the main room. At first I think she may be ill and I see “blood” she may have coughed up, but it turns out that she has a bowl of tomato soup on her lap and the other female has a different type of soup, possibly celery.

On the other side of the main room, I start talking to someone (also in an armchair) who turns out to be a very young version of Don Knotts (deceased February 24, 2006). Another male on his left is also seated and seems to be a young Jack Gilford (deceased June 4, 1990). I am only slightly aware that they may be ghosts. Our conversation is very cheerful and friendly and with respect. I notice that other people are looking at me oddly as they apparently cannot see the two males I am conversing with, which I confirm by directly asking them if they see either of the two other males and their general response implies that they do not. In fact, Jack plays a prank on one unknown girl by somehow pulling her belt off so that her pants fall down. However, this seems ambiguous because she is immediately wearing different clothes. (The scene was likely due to a brief association with Simon Hunt, also known as Pauline Pantsdown, an Australian satirist). Later, I notice that a large television is on (to the right and against the wall from where we are). Jack makes some sort of comment regarding how he cannot understand what people are saying in movies anymore. There is something about Harvey Keitel being in the (unknown) movie. Earlier, there had been the sighting of a Barbara Mandrell album (odd, because I know very little about her and have not seen anything about her in over twenty years that I recall). There is some sort of confusion about the name in it being more like “(Barbara) Mandel” which shifts to “Harvey Mandel” (an American guitarist) in confusion with Harvey Keitel. “Mandel” may actually be a subtle play on “Mandelbrot” here.

Date:14th of june.
Total sleep: 9 hours.
Daytime Techniques: RC's, mantras.
Lucid Techniques: Stabilizisation, ''increase vividness'' mantra.
Recall Techniques: DJ, mantras, tags.
Fell Asleep: 00.45
Dream Title: Satan teacher/shounen fight.
Dream: Satan teacher;I walk to school over an orchard, strangely, it is dark outside . I was having a large test, when my teacher gives me an ''annmerkning'' (norwegian punishment). I get really mad and say the reason i havent done anything is because i have not at school the days we worked on the test, which is weird since it was a test, and not a project. I roll around the classroom talking to friends about how stupid the teacher is.

Shounen fight: I gain lucidity, and try to keep it by jumping around outside my house. After a while however i completely forget since i was not paying attention or being aware. I end up fighting some enemies inside my house in a really shounen-anime-like style, where i power up after each enemy and then barely beat them. It seems like the enemies had taken control of our house.
Awake: 08.30
Vividness: 8/8
Awareness:1/6-2
Length: 5/6
Emotions/feelings: Madness, dissapointment, ''unfair'', heroic, happiness.
Dream Signs: Magical powers (super strength), not-human enemies, school, my house, friends.

Fragments/small dreams: I suddenly appear in the classroom of the ''satan teacher'' dream. I am completely lucid, and as i realize this i start to lose control. I try my best to stabilize my dream by look at my hands, and spinning. I also shout ''increase vividness'', but since i was not really focusing, nothing happened. I almost fall out of the classroom and i realize i am going to wake up. As a last resort to figure out why i'm waking up, i grab my chest. My heart is beating really fast, this is why i woke up. It lasted around 30 seconds i would think.

DC's: My class, the teacher, erza scarlett (i cant remember seeing her).

In this dream, I woke up to my phone's alarm, went to the kitchen, put 2 bread slices in the toaster, and made cereal. Once I finished the cereal, I felt full, but noticed the two slices of toast, ready for Jelly, but I ignored them instead.

I end up walking into Math Class, and in the corner of the class near Ms. Schilds desk was Miyuki and Vladimir, both talking about whatever they usually talk about. I pretend to not notice them as I walk to the place I thought I sat, somewhere in the back. As I walk, I look back at them a few times, and see Miyuki quietly talk to Vladimir about something, and her face didn't make it seem like it was anything positive.

Before I knew it, the entire class was filled with kids. Jessica, Cat, Matt, Ashley, and Issac where the main characters in this dream. I Walked to the front to find out what we were doing today. On the board, it seemed like we were coping down answers from multiple Homework Assignments and Tests. When I passed Miyuki's Desk, she stopped me for a moment and said "Hey Chris? About yesterday..." and she whispered something, but the class was way too loud, and I told her to just text me, and walk back to my seat.

Ashley Quickle asked out loud to the class if anyone had any wax, and I immediately remembered Matt Garcia asking me for wax the previous night, though the wax Ashley needed was for imprinting answers from the textbook (Silly Putty Style) and not for a Vape.

I try to forget about Miyuki, and walked over to the front corner near the door, where Jessica King, Cat Kaiser and Matt Fowler all sat and hanged out. Cat had a math book open, while Jessica sat next to her, trying harder then anyone I knew to stay awake. I sat in front of Jessica and we basically had a conversation on how it was fucking incredible that Jessica goes to sleep every night at 4 a.m. and wakes up at 6 a.m. and manages to somehow stay 'awake' during the 8 hours of school we have, and she laughed a little bit, but it was apparent there was a very thin string between her awareness and knocking out into a deep sleep. I remember Jessica's eyes were very baggy, but her actual eyes were very fun to stare into! (Is that weird? Nah!)

After awhile, I went to the front corner between the board and Ms. Schild's Computer Desk, to copy more notes, because I was talking and forgot to do them, seeing the rest of the class was far ahead. Some people talked to me, and a lot of it dealt with me musing to myself about the day so far, and what to expect next. Its funny actually a lot of my dream 'thinking' was all about remembering the 'dream' I thought I had (The Breakfast) but it turned out I was in a dream while I thought about remembering a dream! All of a sudden, my foot knocks down this large wooden board with answers on it, that everyone was copying down from. Issac Mills immediately starts yelling his clever, witty, 'disapproving of my everything' remarks, for all the class to hear, and I frantically struggled to get the board up right so people could copy it again, but the board was very long and unbalanced, so after many failed attempts, I woke up.

08/05/11 Friday
I am in school, I know it is Friday, and I am impatiently waiting for the class to come to an end so I can go home. I fidget in my seat, willing the time to go by more quickly, completely ignoring the paper in front of me. I have all weekend to do that homework, there's no hurry. Something hits me in the back of the head, it is a wad of paper. I pick it up and look at it. There is a note scrawled inside that says, "You are having a cow." Wtf? I look around the room and see there is a boy a couple rows back from me looking at me. He points at me and mouths the word 'cow' very clearly. Weirdo… The bell finally rings and I get up to leave. I brush up against someone as I'm gathering my things and she gives a mock scream. She says something contaminated touched her and she needs to be disinfected before she catches whatever it is that makes me so gross. Another idiot. I already know for a fact that the school is full of idiots. I ignore the idiots and leave the classroom, heading for home. In front of the school there is a group of five boys picking on one boy. Bunch of cowards… I head over to the group, I recognize the boy getting picked on… and I know I don't like being picked on, so neither does this boy. One of them, a particularly fat one, is saying the smaller boy probably wets the bed, how pathetic is that? I comment it is about one tenth as pathetic as a group of five idiots picking on one person. The fat one turns around and says no one asked me, so get lost. I apologize for my mistake… six picking on one, since the big one is clearly fat enough for at least two boys. The fat kid says he isn't fat, he has big bones. I say wow… he'll never have to worry about breaking a bone, then… those bones aren't big, they're HUGE! The fat kid says he's not opposed to hitting a girl, so get lost before he beats me along with Potter. I say I'm not opposed to kicking him in the… wait… Potter? Harry Potter? He looks at me blankly. Does that make you Dudley Dursley? Yeah… who wants to know? I tell him I read about him in a scientific journal… the first known human being to exist with absolutely no brain at all! He says that does it, I'm going to get pounded. He takes a swing at my face, I catch his fist in my hand and twist it over into a very uncomfortable position. He lets out a cry of surprise and a bit of pain. I tell him he has one chance to run home to his mommy before I kick him in the nuts so hard they get lodged in his fucking nostrils. Someone is coming, it is a teacher, asking what is going on here. Everyone is instantly on their best behavior. Dudley whispers to Harry that he will get it later on… and then to me that I will get it tomorrow. Um… tomorrow is Saturday, retard… I won't be seeing you… Harry says that was worth it to see Dudley get shown up by a girl. I invite him to come to my place. He says he can't come home with me every day forever. I ask why not, my dad won't mind. And it's not like his aunt and uncle give a shit… He can't argue with that, and we head back to my place together. I tell him there is a technique to being able to fight people like Dudley… and I know someone who can teach him if he wants to learn. He seems very interested.

08/06/11 Saturday
I am in the back yard of my own house, though it is not the house I live in now, it isn't even a house I recognize. My father is there with me, in fact, my father is James Hetfield from Metallica. Also there with me are Harry Potter and Vegeta from Dragonball Z. Hetfield goes into the house, leaving Harry and me there with Vegeta. Vegeta is giving us a martial arts lesson. He says it doesn't matter how large your opponent is if you know the right techniques to handle ourselves. So we spend a while out in the back yard working on exercises to get in shape and martial arts techniques. I am thinking I am at least getting some exercise for a change, and maybe this time I will even be able to stick with it. Somehow, even though Vegeta and Harry Potter are there with me, and James Hetfield is my father, it never occurs to me that I might be dreaming until I wake up.

08/07/11 Sunday
I am in the back yard of a house that is clearly not one of the places I have ever lived in my waking life, but it is familiar to me as my home. This entire dream consists of practicing martial arts with Harry Potter, Vegeta is the instructor. For some reason it never once occurs to me to do a reality check…

Note: In spite of doing reality checks periodically during the day and telling myself to do them when I am dreaming, I never seem to do them anymore. If anyone has any ideas on how to get back into the habit it would be really helpful, I used to have frequent lucid dreams and now they're gone…

08/08/11 Monday
I am in bed and waking up, the alarm is going off, I don't want to get up… it is too early… why is my alarm going off now?! I sit up and look around the room, there is some light coming in the window, but it is clearly still early in the morning. I drag myself out of bed and get dressed before dragging myself out to the other room. Someone speaks to me from the door, says this is the last week of school, come on, get out of bed. School… wtf? I have school? What is going on? I sit up and get out of bed, not sure what to think. I get dressed and when I go to brush my hair I see I am about 11 years old. My mind just falls into the routine of going to class now, all thoughts of dreaming gone. Eat breakfast, walk to school. I am walking to school with Harry Potter, who apparently spent the night at my house last night. The entire time I am walking to school I get the strange feeling that someone is watching us… following us… am I just being paranoid? Nope. About half way to school a group of five boys blocks our path, one of them is Dudley Dursley. They seem ready for a fight. Dudley says no one humiliates him in front of his friends… I say no need to, he makes a complete fool of himself on his own. He turns red and says he's going to pound me… then he comes at me. I use leverage and strength I didn't realize I had to flip him over and onto his back, then I step on his fat neck. Try that again I'll rip your dick off and shove it so far up your ass that you're giving yourself a blowjob! All five of them look shocked that a girl just did that. While they are shocked, Harry and I continue to school where all my classes go predictably boring. My last class is over, and I am ready to head home… but wasn't I supposed to meet Harry and walk home with him? I look around for Harry for a while, then I finally find him. I'm not sure what made me check… but I find him in a dumpster. He has had his ass kicked… by Dudley and his gang, no doubt… I help Harry out of the dumpster, at first he is mad at me, saying Dudley was beating him because of me, then he is upset, saying he tried to use Vegeta's techniques, but they didn't work… I tell him it takes time to train to fight. I focus on healing a couple of his injuries… the healing works. We walk home together, I am plotting revenge on Dudley, but Harry wants to learn to fight and take care of things himself.

08/09/11 Tuesday
I wake up in bed and know right away that it is time to go to school. Time to get up and get ready to go. I pull myself out of bed, I currently have no awareness of my normal waking life, and no idea that I could be dreaming right now. I come out of the bedroom and have breakfast, I don't want to go to school, I never do, but this is the last week. Yay! I am walking to school with Harry Potter, and it feels like we're being watched. This seems to be a common occurrence now… nothing happens before we reach class, though. No one shows their face. I wonder if it was Dudley and his goons, and they are too cowardly to show their faces. Most likely. Classes today are preparation for the final exams, so there isn't much time to think about anything else. I get really bored with going over material for final exams and I end up doodling again, though this time I am more careful about getting caught. I am doodling plans for a puzzle game I have had in mind, though I am not entirely sure what I plan on doing with the idea. I will figure out that part once I have the idea finalized.

08/10/11 Wednesday, Dream 1
I am in an office, I am there for a job interview. I have no memory of how I got to be there, and I can't even remember what job I am interviewing for. Of course this results in me being about ten times as nervous as I usually am at an interview, and that is never a good thing. I look around the office a bit, it is a really fancy office. I am there by myself, I wonder when the person interviewing me will arrive. I get nosy and look around on the desk. It is a massive mahogany desk, clearly an antique… it is well polished and there are many items on it. I note the items consist of some antique looking pens, a couple bottles of ink, several rolls of parchment, and what is most notably absent is a computer of any kind. Actually there is nothing electronic at all. Weird. I sit there and wait for a few minutes until the door finally opens and a man walks in. I do a double take as I recognize the man, it looks like Professor Dumbledore. I am doing a double take when he comes over and says he's sorry to have kept me waiting, there was some urgent school business to attend to. He introduces himself and says he is pleased to meet me, Quintus has told him a lot about me. Quintus? I am wondering who Quintus is, Dumbledore continues. He says Quintus has said I have held such positions before and performed admirably in them, and he is inclined to believe Quintus since they have been friends for so many years. Who the fuck is Quintus?! I am struggling with this question, but Dumbledore doesn't seem to notice, he keeps talking. I am hardly hearing what he is saying, though I am somehow answering, not even aware of my answers. Finally I am leaving the office, and Dumbledore is saying he is required to speak with someone else, but he really feels he has already made his decision. I wish it was that easy to get a job in my waking life…

08/10/11 Wednesday, Dream 2
I am in school, I am taking a test. It's a final exam. In this dream I spend the entire day going to two different classes and taking final exams, then the school day is over. I get to go home early, though the idea is for me to go home early and then study for the final exams still to come tomorrow. What fun, I am so glad class is almost over for the summer. Outside of the school I meet up with Harry Potter, and we are walking home together. Harry says something about that he really should go home one of these days… he can't move in with me permanently. I ask why not, as long as my dad doesn't care… and it seems pretty clear that his aunt and uncle don't give a shit. Harry says the Dursley's would probably be glad to get rid of him. I say then the problem is solved. Unless someone complains, there is really no reason he can't just stay with me… unless he really prefers living with the Dursleys. He said no, he would not prefer that. I say let's get home, I need to do some studying for our final exams tomorrow. Maybe we can help each other out. Sure, sounds great. The whole way home I can't shake the feeling we are being watched, though I never see any sign of anyone following us. I wonder if Dudley might be a problem… it seems Harry notices me being paranoid. He says if I'm looking for Dudley, don't worry, Dudley is still back at school trying in vain to finish a final exam… when he probably got stuck on the first question, the one where he's required to put his name.

Dream 1
I was at my friend Jacob's house and we were talking about some TV show and he said he hadn't seen the new episode yet because his TV was stolen. I looked over and there was a stand for a flat screen TV but no TV. He told me that he left his window a crack open and they got in that way. Then I freaked out and went home because sometimes I do that. I got home and closed the window, and then looked out the window for a moment. (I live in an apartment building and my bedroom window looks out onto the balconies of another apartment building) I looked at one balcony that had the actors that play Serena and Eric on gossip girl and waved at them (Or it could have been the characters, I'm not sure because I only waved at them) and then I looked at the other balcony and just stood there staring at the people on it for a while.

Dream 2
Kind of a fragment, I made some kind of study guide for my english final with my friend Maxx. There was some kind of panic over it either going missing, messing up the information, or just the test itself. I don't remember.

29.09.2010

Septemeber Basic ToTM Completion (DILD)

★★☆☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Two people of questionable intent and origin accosted me after I went lucid. Here to ensure I kept my end of the bargain (which I made in my last lucid with some dude while everything was destabilizing), they began their tests. For my first "lesson," they escorted me to an elevator, and the woman stepped inside. Then they took my body away.

Left with nothing but a single perspective and my consciousness, my first task was to maneuver my way in front of the elevator with no legs, no feet, no physical self whatsoever. Great. Using miniature jumps in perspective, similar to teleportation, I was eventually able to work my way into position. The woman inside smiled as the elevator doors closed in front of me. Erm, I thought, as I easily opened them with a burst of will, wiping the smile from her face. My body was returned to me.

With all of us now inside, the man in their pair informed me my next test will be one on movement. As the elevator rose up, my sense of gravity in relation to the floor started gyrating. It threw me off balance for a moment, but I quickly positioned myself in the center of the elevator and began methodically twirling about, adjusting my footing as the spinning continued. The suited pair, standing off in the leftmost rear corner, was not amused. "What?" I state, "This is normal elevator behavior for me."

The elevator doors opened, and we made our way out into some kind of. . . social gathering? Well-dressed adults sat at benches and tables, while equally well-dressed children frolicked about the well-lit skylight room. Sure enough, they had another task lined up for me. . .