Recent DJ Posts

I had a dream that I was in our school gym hanging out and talking with my friends on the bleachers. It must've been the "FACT" class we have on tuesday and friday. There weren't that many people besides us on the bleachers, and there were just a few people out in the gym playing basketball/volleyball/etc. Also, the gym was bigger and the bleacher seats were wider apart, and might've even been different colors. I just remember joking around with my friends and thats about it.

I then also remember a dream where I was at one of my friend's house, outside, with another friend. We were trying to hide from my friend whose house we were at, for some reason. We ran around his yard to the front, then we tried to make it to this lot full of woods and hide in there, but as we passed his house from the front he was in his red ford ranger and spotted us, and gave chase, jokingly of course. We were going and somehow, through dream magic he ended up on the other side and on the other side of the street, which is a church with a big sign, and he runs into the sign and destroys it. He gets out and he's like "oooh crap..."

The dream skips and I remember a whooole segment of people building a new sign and rennovating the church someone saying "I'm glad they're replacing that old, crappy sign". I also remember going in the church and, not only was it in a completely different area, it was a whole different (and smaller) church, and the lawn was overgrown, it was also dark, like the sky was just black. The new sign was made of like stone and had vines on it.

Morning of December 12, 2014. Friday.



I am in the process of having a sensual interlude with my wife when I am vaguely distracted by a shift in consciousness during an increase in actual rain (in reality) falling on the roof - it is a soothing sound. I am then in a large old empty church. This church (and a contemplation on why it is completely empty) is rather a surprise. There seems to be a vague female presence still (possibly the essence of my wife, but outside the room I am in) in the background. I think the (slightly smaller than life-sized) statue is of the Virgin Mary, though may also represent the generic statue of a tomb. Its location in the center of the room is not really logical. My dream is not very long, only about twenty seconds.

I reflect on earlier similar dreams, including one of “The Thinker” when I was very young. This statue does not seem to “come to life” in any way, though, as The Thinker did. It is static and with no viable essence. My mind goes two ways on what this could mean. On the one hand, it could represent my wife entering into a new spiritual potential (even after all these years) as that is what statues have tended to represent in my dream universe.

I could also ponder if the female presence was somehow M’s mother (who was Catholic) and the statue representing what is left of her life in the matter of M’s early death (in her being now less dynamic spiritually - though that is admittedly an assumption on my part). This is something that could never truly go away and which has resurfaced recently with regard to a new online entry concerning those days - also - he still appeared in a dream when I was nearly thirty. I always got the impression that M died at only thirteen because of his hatred of me (and because I did not want to fight that day - as I said in another entry, the calmer and friendlier I acted, the angrier he became), particularly what seemed like proof of precognition to him as the main basis for his anger and seeming fear - even though we had no actual relationship prior to that “last day”. Even more ironic was the fact that precognitive awareness (seemingly via Susan R) happened to me while mostly awake that night and which was verified the next Tuesday (“coincidentally” - I found out later - at the same time his funeral began). Of all the ways any of that could have gone, it all unfolded, in this case, exactly the way I “foresaw” it. However, once again, this can also be “explained” as some form of remote viewing (which I have validated for myself thousands of times, so it really does not pay to feign ignorance) rather than precognition - or more likely - the typical precognition and remote viewing hybrid that most dreams seem to carry at one level.

Woke up with no recall whatsoever - At half three in the afternoon, the most vague wee memory came to me...

Fishing on a boat. The water was clear and had a sandy bottom. There was something going on with my rucksack...

That is all.

Morning of December 12, 2014. Friday.

Dream #: 17,525-02. Reading time: 35 sec.



This dream reflected in part (though exaggerated in context) something Zsuzsanna had recently seen on television and had not mentioned to me. (This happens often.)

There is a lake of ice falling from space, threatening the American continent. It seems like it will be a big disaster. I view various maps and see details on the televised news. Looking at the map, I notice areas that are supposedly more dangerous to be in during the impact.

However, the massive lake of ice that is almost as big as America melts rapidly on approach. It soon vanishes as it is descending, without causing any “rain.” The event results in an unusual perspective with a strange sense of being personally protected by its natural continuity.

---

There is a scene from a Superman movie where he drops a frozen lake over a fire, but in that situation, it does become rain.

---

Morning of December 12, 2014. Friday.



Warning: Even though this is the honest record of a dream, some may find it offensive with regard to animal cruelty, so give this one a miss if you choose and go on to another entry rather than be offended by a dream record of someone you do not know, especially as I am sure there are real issues in the world for the casual reader to contemplate.

I am in our house in Brisbane on Stadcor Street, where we have not actually lived for a number of years. All the members of my family are as they are now. Over time, a large black dog somehow gets into the house. Although dogs are considered “man’s best friend”, this is typically not the case in my dream universe and it certainly is not the case with dealing with problematic neighbors who refuse to train their dog not to bark all night, or dog attacks on children. That is not the issue here at all here, though. I digress.

I am able to get the dog out of the house by having doors open for a time and chasing it out after it annoys our children several times (though does not directly attack). The dog does seem a bit confused, similar to a larger bobcat I saw in real life that had gotten too much tranquilizer and never fully recovered during its stay in a cage in my middle school’s zoo (Environmental Learning Laboratory).

Oddly, even with all the doors shut, the dog somehow is in the house again, wandering about aimlessly and being a nuisance, knocking things over and causing a bit of damage to some educational materials. Even more oddly, he seems to manifest straight out of the Internet cable, though very close to the ceiling - and then falls to the floor, headfirst with front legs out - almost like diving into a pool. Visually, I am quite startled and amazed by this bizarre scene and am, in afterthought, wondering how I could have possibly missed it as a dream cue. I mean really, dogs do not fall headfirst out of Internet cables near the ceiling. It was almost akin to dreams where you feel you are physically shoved while seemingly resting, usually in a dark and undefined area.

Being even more annoyed than before and even though the dog is bigger than I, I grab it around the neck and have an idea that I could somehow push it through the floorboards. Of course, this makes no sense but I manage to hold it down thinking I could also throw it out the front door - then again, it might come back again. Over time, as I continue to squeeze its neck, the dog eventually seems lifeless, with bubbles flowing from its mouth and nose.

This dream seems rather obvious in its implications. The dog represents a mentally ill person on the Internet that has, astoundingly, still been obsessed with my family and I (and seems completely against real relationships, having children, and honest experiential dream work) - even after I have not been on that site in some time. This of course is confirmed by the confused or perhaps drugged dog coming from the Internet cable and “hounding” my family.

Is this person an actual threat to my family? That much is unknown, but someone who is so narcissistic and childlike in their thinking (and seemingly completely removed from real relationships with real people) almost defies even my ability to believe. This much is certain. Whether or not I ever look at the site in question to see if he is still making up stories, he will still technically be there whether I look or not, somewhat of a wearisome enigma, it seems.

Still, I have made the choice of eventually removing every reference to this deceitful character from every entry other than when the dream itself is directly related (as is this one). It is not worth the wastage.

Long time, no post. I've had lots of interesting dreams, but I've just been too busy to write them down. This one last night is just too disgusting to not record!

In which I poop on a classroom floor and blame it on a student...

I've arrived to a school to work as an aide in a special education classroom. I'm early. The work day does not begin until 7:30, and I'm there at 7:00. I enter the classroom, but I leave the lights out so that no coworkers will know I'm here. I figure I will get more work done this way since no one will stop by to chat. I'm carrying my thermos of coffee, but before I drink any, I realize I need to have a bowel movement.

As if it is the most normal thing in the world, a toilet sits in the middle of the classroom. There are no walls or curtains or stalls enclosing it. There is just a toilet, sitting in the middle of the room, out in the open. This is perfectly natural in my dream.

I sit down on the toilet to pass a BM when I remember that of course this toilet is made for small children and therefore cannot hold my large adult-sized shit. This logic also is perfectly natural in the dream. Therefore, I reach behind my rear and grab the shit with my hands. I then throw it on the floor in front of me with every intention of cleaning it up shortly after finishing.

At that moment, my husband walks into the classroom. I'm surprised. What is he doing here?

He explains that he is there to check up on me and to make sure I'm OK. This makes me angry. Why should he check up on me? He sees the poop on the floor and asks why I've done such a disgusting thing as throw it there in the middle of a classroom.

Suddenly, the perfectly natural dream logic fades. Why have I just thrown my own feces into the middle of a classroom? I have no idea. It seems disgusting and humiliating. My husband is shocked. I'm mortified. I can't explain it. It seems insane.

I yell at him that he needs to leave so that I can clean up my mess before anyone else arrives to see it. He is shocked and upset that I've done something so disgusting. He keeps asking me over and over again what is wrong with me.

Then there is an announcement that I need to be in the office to escort a special needs student to the classroom. The child cannot walk unassisted, and I go to help him at once.

By the time I return to the classroom with the child, another teacher and several other special needs students are all in the room. The other teacher has discovered my pile of poop, but it does not occur to her that I'm the one who threw it there. She assumes that one of the special ed students has pooped in the middle of the room rather than the toilet. Several of our students are in diapers or cannot use the bathroom unassisted.

The other teacher is very angry. She's yelling at the students and blaming them for doing this. I start to feel really guilty. The students are mostly non-verbal and cannot defend themselves. I know that I will get away with it, and I know that it is horribly unjust to let a student take the blame for something insane and disgusting that I have done. But what else can I do? If I admit it, I will loose my job and be humiliated in front of all my coworkers. These students mostly do not have the awareness to feel humiliation, and they do frequently have bowel movements in places that are inappropriate. So in some ways it doesn't seem like too big a deal to let them take the fall this one time.

The ethical dilemma is weighing on me heavily as I take my thermos of coffee from my backpack. I try to pour some of it out, but nothing happens. The coffee will not drip out. I remove the lid to the thermos to see what is causing the obstruction, and it is clogged up with mud and live, wiggly grub worms. I scream in alarm and throw the thermos out of the room.

Immediately I realize how silly I'm behaving and I go out into the hall to retrieve my thermos. Surely the bugs just crawled in as I was gardening over the weekend, and a good washing will take care of them. But as I'm about to re-enter the classroom, I look around the hall and notice a hidden camera. I stand below the camera to see where it is filming and notice that it is pointed directly at the middle of the classroom. It is filming everything that happens inside the classroom.

It is inevitable, then, that someone will see the video and see that I threw the feces across the room. I did it, and the video will reveal that I let an innocent and vulnerable special needs child take the blame for my insane and disgusting behavior. I think about how much I'll be ridiculed and ostracized once this video hits YouTube and the evening TV news.

I try to think of an explanation that will make my case sympathetic, but I really can't think of anything. I just can't explain why I would do such a crazy thing. It seemed normal at the time when I was in the dark, alone. But now I just can't understand it. I feel humiliated, ashamed and confused. I just don't know what to do.

In which H knows she's dead...

H was in my dream again last night, only this time she was dead and she knew she was dead. She tried to explain why she did it. I can't remember her reasons, but I do remember feeling that I was finally getting some explanation. I tried to tell her how it crushed us. I asked her if she thought of us, and she said how she thought we'd get on and get over it, and I explained how actually everything was different now and how we aren't talking about being sad, but rather being completely unable to even function for months. She became defensive, and I tried to reassure her that I wasn't angry. She told me something to tell J, only she called him B. I corrected her but tried to make it sound like a question. "Don't you mean J?" "That's right!" she answered, and she threw her head back and laughed in a hearty way. It sounded just like her, and I can hear it now.

Then it turned sinister. She started to poke at my ribs. At first, I acted like it was just goofing around, and I tried to be a good sport about it. Then I started to tell her to stop, but she became more aggressive. I tried to walk away, but she came after me and overpowered me. I realized I was dreaming and became lucid. H started to look more like a phantom or a demon than herself. I tried to stop the dream or run away, but I couldn't control it. I tried to wake up. I screamed and tried to hold my breath. There was no way to get out of the dream. Meanwhile, the demon was attacking me now- pushing me, holding me down and tickling me, punching me in the face. I was frustrated that I couldn't wake up. Even though I knew it wasn't real, it was still very painful. I decided to just submit- to lay still and relax in the hopes that I would fall into a different dream, but the pain and the attack was too uncomfortable. Finally I succeeded in screaming so loudly that it woke me up.


In which I go fishing...

My father was helping me prepare my rod to go fishing. We were attaching small lead weights and packing the tackle box. He told me to use cheese as bait for catfish. The only cheese I had in my fridge is the yummy new cheddar R bought last night at the grocery store. My father told me to smush the cheese into a little ball around the hook, the way we used to do with Catfish Charlie's when I was a girl. I asked him if we could use any old cheese or if it had to be the nice cheddar, and he said even sliced yellow American would work. Later I threw all the materials and a giant catfish in the back of my truck.

In which tiny people live in my backpack...

I'm at someone's house, and a man is ill- sleeping on a pallet on the floor of the living room. I'm in the back bedroom with my work backpack which contains my water bottle and coffee thermos. A family of tiny people live in the back room. Two of them crawl inside my backpack, and my thermos falls over and crushes one tiny person's arm. I run into the living room with the ill man and ask how much Ibuprofen we can safely give per mg of body weight. He is still on the floor, but he looks up at me and scoffs. "Stupid American! We don't measure body weight by mg!" I try to explain that we do when the people in question are part of the tiny family that lives in his back bedroom, but he is just convinced that I don't understand the metric system and won't help me calculate the correct amount of painkiller. I get some Ibuprofen and try to break off an incredibly small crumb for the tiny hurting lad. It takes a long time to reset his bones and wrap them up in a tiny splint. Then I remember that I left the catfish in the back of my truck. I run outside and have a look at it; it has rotted and it stinks. What wasteful behavior! A pointless death.


I haven't posted my dreams regularly for a long time now. Maybe I'll come in later and start writing up a few I've missed.

1. I had just walked into some type of building. My dad, sister, and my mom were all with me. Not too long after we walked in my dad spotted a carwash inside of this building. It looked pretty tight, I honestly didn't think he'd be able to get his car into the car wash considering there wasn't much open space to drive in it. Right next to the car wash there was a kind of convinient store section with all kinds of junkfood and snacks.
I walked over to the food section and on my way there I encountered this cute girl. She had red hair and a really nice body. She had just been talking to her mom about her getting her first backpack. She picked up a backpack and without seeing me walked right into my way. "Hey, is that really you're first backpack?" I asked her. "Yeah, I've never had one before." She told me. There was a little more conversation than that though. She then turned around and started walking towards the checkout counter.
As she was doing so I noticed that she was wearing leggings and that she had a really cute ass. It kind of made me want to get it on with her right there in public, but her mom was right next to me looking at other stuff so that wouldn't be a good idea. After that, I finally made it up to the food section and I looked at all of the junkfood. I was tempted to get something, but I really wanted to stay healthy with my diet, especially since I have been working out for a few months now, so I didn't get anything.
I made my way out of the convinient store and looked around elsewhere. Not to far ahead of me I saw a toy section. I walked over and looked around. The first thing I looked at was a few toy soldiers and toy indians. Each figure was hardened into one position and you couldn't do anything except for pick it up and move it wherever you wanted. Suddenly some kids saw that I was looking at the toy figures and they started playing with me. I didn't know, but I had placed an Indian toy figure facing some of the kids and the figure looked like he wanted to fight.
I then put the toys back away and looked around some more. What I spotted next, I didn't expect to find here. I looked over into a different toy section, and I saw a dildo section. Just looking at them made me laugh. As I was laughing I noticed two other cute girls sitting down at tables to the right of me, so I did my best to look good while doing anything. Suddenly my family shows up out of no where and tells me that its time to go. I walk with them and my dad takes us to a different part of the building, somewhere on the second floor.
Once we got to the second floor he takes us to a room. He knocks on the door and an old man opens up, he looks like he was expecting us. We all walk into his room and my parents start talking to him. While they were doing so, me and my sister start looking around the room. After a little bit of walking around my mom tells me, "Cory come over here, there's somebody I want you to meet." I turn around and I see an old lady walking towards me. I think, "Wow she must be nice because she's old." I meet the old lady but right as I do so she takes out some kind of orangeish cream and tells me, "It's for you're own good." Then she takes me by my head and startes squirting this cream into my mouth by force.
I don't know what it was, but this cream had the worst taste possible. I wanted to throw up, and I have no idea why I didn't. This old lady put loads and loads of this cream in my mouth, it filled my entire mouth. If you could taste what I tasted, you know how bad it was. On a scale from 1 to 10 of bad flavor, this cream was a solid 10. Probably the worst thing I've ever tasted in my life, and I can still remember the taste even as I am awake.
The old lady also filled my sisters mouth with cream too, we both had to deal with it. I was in complete misery the entire time the cream was in my mouth. After what seemed like actual hours, the old lady allowed us to finally spit the cream out. Holy crap, how grateful I was. I then quickly got some junk food and stuffed it into my mouth to get rid of the taste. I ate tons of chocolate stuff, and eventually that got the taste of the "hell cream" out of my mouth.
After that, I started relaxing, just doing whatever. I walked over to where my dad and the old man were talking, and I listened to their conversation. They were talking about how the old man didn't like his furniture and how the furniture they gave him was in every room of the building. However, I looked over to the right of me where his furniture was, and he had about 12 pillows laying neatly arranged on the floor, thats it. Some of the pillows were gold, some of them were red. I then had some sort of vision where I saw all of the furniture in every room of this building, and they all had the same 12 pillows arranged on the ground. It was weird.

I'll finish the rest later.

12.12.2014

Stars in the sky blow up like fireworks (chain of false awakening and lucids) (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I had a False Awakening and I was about to write down my dream, when I felt very fuzzy and like everything was wavy. I was moving but I was falling alseep and having a chain of spit-second FAs. Until I had a more abrupt false awakening and I was altered and nervious so I did a reality check because I literally had no idea in what realm I was!

I could not see, so I got off bed and jumped a couple times, gravity was not acting normal so I turned lucid. I also checked my hands (now vision was clear) and I had six fingers. I was going to exit the house until I faded out and I was back in bed.

I knew I was still dreaming, checked my hands again and remained lucid. I existed the house and took of to fly. The sky was full of stars, but it had stars of many colors, like neon colors. I took a fly to make the dream stable and it went crystal clear. I then saw that the stars started to explote like if they were fireworks, but the colors were much more vivid than real fireworks and there was a like a chain reaction.








I decided to do an easy dare, as I did not find my dream stability to be at its finest, so I decided to:

Originally Posted by anyone dare

Put some flowers on the graves of a cemetery at night. (Box77)

I started to fly looking for a graveyard, but once again, I faded out.

I was back in bed, still knowing I was dreaming, I was starting to get annoyed with the false awakenings. I had a successive chain of 2-3 more false awakenings. Always knowing I was dreaming, they happened fast.

During one of them, I managed to exit the house again, but I was in a void of nothingness for a few seconds until I faded out.

One more False Awakening with reality check. I exited the house and started to fly. I saw a huge neon sign in the sky, made out of stars but also with many colors like neon. As I approached at them, they exploted again and made tons of colors. There were some x-mas trees and decorations. I got stuck with a x-mas ribbon (talk about dream coontrol on this one... meh... the whole dream was a mess anyone, probably REM was ending.) After a while, I managed to fly away from it. I felt I was waking up, tried to rub my hands and had another false awakening, where I was still rubbing my hands and I figured I woke up like that, but I did a reality check and I was still asleep. I did not bother anymore in getting out of bed, as the dream quality was awful and extremely unstable. A few seconds later, I woke up for real.

I just didnt remember any dreams last night.

Have been having extremely vivid dreams lately due to the fact I have been drinking a little less Kava and recently enjoyed a legal treat in Colorado, which seems to make my dreams very deep and vivid. I took a nap this afternoon because I had a very sore back. In my dream I was a teenager again, and my friends were getting together to hang out. I didn't know I wasn't an adult because when a friend and I were hanging out in a bedroom I pulled out some weed shared it with her. I laughed and said "That's one of the reasons I like being a grown up!" To which she looked at me like I was crazy and said "Your not grown up." I looked in a mirror and realized that she was right, I looked like I was about 16. Then we went to an out building where people were shooting pool and listening to music, there must have been 100 people that I remembered from the past, I was lighter, happier and more jovial in the way I interacted with people. I'd run up to people and smile so genuinely and give them a hug or pat them on the shoulders, I was flirtatious too, the feeling that I could potentially make any of the guys fall in love with me. It was truly like being 16 again. I smiled at one guy who was very handsome and looked very Native American, he gave me some kind of complement, like "you are so cute!" and then looked me strait in the eyes and said "I miss this part of you." That's when I woke up, he was one of those DC's that seemed to represent a part of myself, he definitely acted in an unexpected way. I felt light and happy for a few hours afterward, but thought about how I did miss that side of myself, and how I should try to rekindle that outlook on life.

+ (f) (vague [early ones seem to always be vague when I don't record]) in a dark place, warehouse? large shapes falling like dominoes

+ atrium geometric storm, catch the weird robotic bug, use its "seed" for manufacturing something(?)

I'm at work(?) it's a large atrium with glass walls (dream sign) and plants. Outside there is a big storm coming (WL news), I see it arrive, huge dark clouds but they're geometric shapes, big dark-lead-grey almost black geometric chunks of clouds with numerous hemi-spheres descending from the bottom like an egg carton.

I'm approaching a tree / clump, we need to catch something in there. I look to find a stone I can stand on to get high enough but don't find one, someone else knocks the weird bird/bug out of the tree, it slips through my hands, but I manage to separate it into two pieces. It looks mechanical, it's two parts join via a metalic joint. But the body feels squishy and I'm nervous about touching it. The hind section has what we need, I open it up (?) and take out a capsule, some discussion of using this to produce something.

+ plumbing fail: water/sand is shooting out everywhere: washing machine

Trying to turn off faucets that are spewing water and sand.

+ microwave reflections: I'm "drunk?", female coworkers nude selfies in profile

I'm at work, I'm trying to find my station there. There's a long row along one side of the room extending around a 90-degree angle where 2 walls meet. I'm looking down one row looking at name tags and see that each station has a microwave oven for cooking lunch. At the end of the row to the left the microwaves get tiny, barely big enough for a sandwich, I hope that's not my station, it's not. Around the corner I think I see my full name written. I'm looking into the reflection in the microwave oven, is it a reflection or a picture? I see somebody, face familiar, middle-aged, curly hair (is it me?) but the face has a lot of cracks in it like an old oil painting. I look at this face for a while trying to determine if it's me. I ask "is that me?" Somebody answers "yeah, you look like that when you're drunk." The scene changes to naked female figures in profile, they're of my "coworkers," I wonder why they took those pictures. Just a hint of the rosy colored nipples are visible on the breasts. There's a sequence of different girls all similarly posed in profile, standing, I think there's something in that room that makes girls want to take pictures like that.

+ cooking class: undercooked chicken sandwich, pigeon pie (poor things are live to start with)

I'm at a table in a room of tables arranged like a class-room, it's a cooking class. I'm preparing some raw chicken which sort of oozes off of the table and plops on the floor. Should I wash it? We're going to cook it after all. I'm eating a chicken sandwich and enjoying it. Some other class participate, a boy, mentions the "undercooked chicken sandwich." I don't think MINE is undercooked. But I look down at a chunk of chicken in my hand, and I turn it over and indeed it is pink on the bottom, not raw, but definitely undercooked.

The teacher announces the next lesson is "pigeon pie." I look down at the corner of a table and see a (dead? dying) medium sized bird lying on its side, fully feathered, is it a pigeon? Doesn't look like any bird I know. I see it moving, it's still alive do we have to kill them? There are a couple of women seated at a table filled with bags or live pigeons. They take them into their hands and wring their necks. First they milk out of the rear-end a quail-egg-sized egg, put the egg on the table, then wring the neck of the bird. The teacher says "don't feel sorry for the birds." I think that you must get the egg before killing the bird or the egg won't come out.

+ robot hospital: massive complex, waiting for help at the terminals, inspecting bottles of dreaming supplements(!), see son S1 who's playing a game

Walking down a hill and turning a corner to the right outside in daytime. People are walking in the streets, there's a large building up ahead and to the left. I'm trying to find the pharmacy, I ask a woman about the pharmacy. The people seem not quite right. Inside, it's a HUGE buiding it's a hospital, I need to register and check in (my wife is pregnant?). I look down a loooooong high open atrium area, easily 100 yards long or more, I think wow this is a huge place. The place I'm in has a group of people waiting in front of a line of complex computer terminals with large screens, the line makes a 90 degree turn. Helpers are coming up and meeting the waiters and helping them. I look at the helpers and think the people here are strange, it's like they're all robots. Nobody's coming to help me. I'm seated and looking at containers in front of me, I look at one it contains some sort of granules, I read the label and it says something like "...... / VPIKT" I think "ah, yes, I've heard of that, it's a supplement for lucid dreaming". Well, still nobody is coming to assist me so I stand up and walk farther down the atrium and I see my son S1. He's standing at a counter involved in something, paper receipts are falling down? I'm frustrated that he's not actively trying to help get us checked in. I look at his screen and it's a gambling game green background where 3 numbers/things are presented dynamically and you have to guess what will be shown. The view/ my vision then shows my sons's profile view of his head and I look at it and think his nose is a lot more hooked than I remember it being, he's sweating?

We all began running outside an unknown broken down grey house. I was now on the porch with a group of people I didn't know. I'd say roughly 15 people or less. I was lucid and was given under the impression that everyone standing here was also already lucid dreaming. It was snowing and all of us was observing it. What I notice during this moment was that everything was a lot brighter and had quite a gloss around everything. We all then circle around one another, knowing this was the last of the gathering.

Most of them were saying their goodbyes, I then began to realize I was starting to have a difficult time seeing all their faces as more of their body parts began to become invisible and consume by the fog. I then decided to walk away, once I started doing that I quickly notice my vision had decrease. The dream was beginning to get blurry, I then began feeling the sensation that I could wake up. I turn my head around to say that when we're all together, the lucidity would never breakdown.

I could feel all your stabilizing consciousness drifting away. There was one guy standing at the porch and he agreed with me. That's when everyone began running faster in to different areas. I notice this one person that ran pass me. I continue to watch them in till they disappear from my sight completely. That's when I jump over the black gated fence and fully loss my lucidity. Lucidity Time: 3 minutes.

Ritual: I had a vibrating alarm in my hand, but I think it was the cat that woke me, as there was still four minutes left on the alarm when I got up after the end of the dream. The cat is a likely culprit, since he frequently comes and meows at me several times in the morning, even after he's been fed. Whatever it was, luckily I had the presence of mind to remember not to move, and if the cat was meowing, somehow I did a great job of tuning him out. I focused on trying to maintain a state just below the threshhold of full waking that would allow me to DEILD.

My DEILD technique developed unintentionally out of my WILDs, since I had always instinctively chained them through inadvertant half-wakings. For this reason it feels natural to try to DEILD by "separating" my sense of the dream body from my physical one rather than incubating visual impressions, since I do WILDs the same way, so I started by trying to move my dream-limbs. I wasn't entirely sure if it was working, as it felt a lot like I was really moving, but it also seemed suspiciously easy and I wasn't getting tangled in the bedcovers. Eventually I was raising my knees alternately until it felt almost like I was marching in place. I had the impression that I was lying on my back while doing this, although it is almost certain that in WL I was actually lying on my side.

I hadn't been dreaming right before I half-woke, at least as far as I could recall, so there was no particular scenario to dwell on. Instead I just let imagery form randomly. There was a series of brightly-colored hypnagogic scenes that for some reason were all very cartoon-like. None of them turned into a dream, nor did I expect them to. All my thrashing was with the intent to integrate myself well enough into the dream body that I could "get up" out of bed.

(Actually as I was writing this account I did remember a non-lucid dream that must have occurred in the previous sleep period. But I didn't remember it at the time so it did not influence the attempt.)

I thought I could be more certain I was really dreaming if I moved in an unnatural way, so I tried some rotations. I was unable to rotate laterally, but eventually managed to rotate around my body's vertical axis until it felt like I was lying on my face. This was especially interesting because the whole time I was convinced I felt the cat standing on me, so the impression of his weight went from being located in my chest to on my back. At this point things seemed sufficiently unnatural that I was confident I was dreaming, so I continued to roll horizontally to the side until I fell right out of the bed. It still felt remarkably lifelike, but my landing was much too soft and painless to be real... in RL I'd likely suffer serious injury if I rolled out of the bed that way, since the bed is quite high and I suspect I'd hit my head on the bedside table on the way down!

DEILD: As I scrambled up from the floor, I noted that my mind felt very clear but my senses were vague. I danced a bit as I left the room, since I was still trying to transfer sensation and awareness fully from my sleeping self to my dream body. I still had a shadow of a doubt that I might be confused and actually awake, so I was slightly concerned about the prospect of leaving the house naked. However, I didn't feel like bothering with clothes if I was dreaming, and I figured as soon as I left the house I'd know for sure, because in my dreams the landscape outside is usually different.

Sure enough, as I stepped out the sliding door from the kitchen, instead of the concrete pool patio I found myself standing next to a steep hillside heavily overgrown with brush and small trees. I started climbing it and the earth was loose and leafy enough that it was easy to get purchase on it even though the slope was extremely steep; it seemed like a 60 degree incline. I remembered that my goal was to reach a winter forest, and promptly noticed the patches of wet snow on the ground, like those that appear when it has snowed recently but much of it has already melted. I momentarily wonder if I will be cold without clothes on, but remind myself that my dream persona is often a vampire, so the cold shouldn't bother me.

I have elaborate tasks stored up: there are a lot of things I plan to do in the forest, like another attempt at my lucid dare and perhaps "Hansel and Gretel" for the TOTY. But the snow reminds me of the TOTM, and I recall that was the reason I had specified a "winter" forest in the first place. I decide that it would be nice to get wings again and that the basic task won't be too hard to accomplish as long as I can find a DC to throw a snowball at. I scoop up some snow and pack it into a ball. The texture feels a little off as the snow comes together, too smooth and almost slick, rather than with the crunch of real snow.

(WLR: I realize that the odd texture of my snowball was probably influenced by dolphin's post on the TOTM thread where he says that his snowball ended up being a rice ball! I think the plasticky texture was also influenced by a knickknack I saw the other day in a Paper Source store: it was a little snowman made of some sort of white latex-like material that you could build up into shapes and then it would slowly "melt" again.)

Snowball in hand, I need to find some DCs. I look around but there is no one in sight. However I see a couple houses in the distance, off the to left beyond some open ground. I come down from the hill and go that way instead, in the direction of the houses. I figure I can ring the doorbell of one of the houses and lob the snowball at whoever opens the door—a bit rude, perhaps, but it will get the job done! But soon the problem is simplified when I see two DCs walking directly toward me, women dressed in business casual. I feel a bit anxious that something might go wrong before I get close enough to hit them with the snowball. Maybe I should just throw it now? I try to remember how the TOTM was worded: did it specify that the snowball needed to hit? [In retrospect I see that it does.]

While I vacillate we are still walking toward one another, and soon it looks like they are in range, so I throw the snowball. It misses, so I quickly make another and try again. It misses as well, so I pack a third one and aim more carefully. This time the snowball strikes the woman walking on the left on the lapel of her teal-colored suit jacket. The women seem nonplussed at first, but instead of protesting they soon start making snowballs of their own to throw at me, so we have an old-fashioned snowball fight.

Meanwhile two more DCs, middle-aged men, are approaching from another direction, and quickly get drawn into our game. One of the men seems annoyed initially when he is struck by a snowball, but before long he is participating enthusiastically and exclaiming, "I love this! I love this!" as though rediscovering the pleasures of childhood. The other man is older and well-dressed, with a strong accent that sounds not quite German but something in that neighborhood. He says, "Uh... apologies for staring. A rigorous loser, poor loser." I can make out his words distinctly but I don't know what he's referring to, and at this point I wake up.

December 11, 2014

---

STOP!

I was in an art class, and many of my students were there with me. I might have been teaching or at least helping out in the class. I was sitting in a beanbag chair at some point. One of my students, B (who is an English Language Learner), came over and sat on my head somehow. He was immensely heavy, and he was bending my neck and back in a way that made it so I couldn't breathe, and it hurt a lot. I yelled "STOP!" But he didn't seem to understand me, because he just sat there. He somehow used my eye-socket as a footrest, and put his heels in them. I yelled "STOP!" a few more times, feeling I was going to die, and somehow shrugged him off. I held him by the shoulders and panted, "STOP MEANS YOU HAVE TO GET OFF!" He must have realized he'd hurt me, because he looked like he was going to sob, so I wrapped him in a big old hug as if it was him that had almost died, not me.




But the ICECREAM!

I was going up north with Zukin. We were going to meet at an old cottage in the middle of nowhere to go camping and roughing-it. I was looking at the map and deciding which trains I would have to take to get there, and wondering if the Ice Cream I was going to bring would survive the trip. I might have actually been driving there. I remember seeing a road I dreamed about before on the map, to the east. It wasn't labeled, but I knew, because I had a feeling. I was still fretting over getting the ice cream to that cottage in the woods, when I decided randomly to get on a train to China without a ticket. I just wanted to see what the inside of the train was like, but it started moving while I was on it, so I ran to the back of the train, where there was a little platform. The train was like an old steam engine's car, but with modern touches to it. Anyways, I sat on the little platform and, before the train picked up a lot of speed, slid off onto the track below me. The train had only gotten maybe 50-100 feet from the station, which, now I could see it, was very small and simple. I looked back at the train, which was gaining speed now, curving to the right through the woods, toward a big bridge with another platform on it.

I sensed a couple running down the tracks next to this track, saying something about how they missed the train, and now had to run all the way up to the bridge platform to catch it.

I turned back and walked to the station, and ended up in a line of Chinese visitors, who were going through customs. Any one of them could have just walked off because there were no walls at this station (it was more like an outdoor bus transit center than an international train station [disregarding the fact that there was a train to China from the USA]). But they were just waiting in line, and some people were cutting. The rest of them were just kinda "eh, whatever," about it. I tried to get them to stand their ground against the cutters, but they wouldn't, and I woke up.