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I had a dream I was talking to my brother, yet it had to be other skype or something because I never saw him but I remember us talking. All I could see was Civ V screen and we were playing as the Aztecs and we were hunting someone down because we were at war. I remember looking at a city near a bay and a desert with a pikeman stationed in it, and scrolling past the fog of war clouds, and I remember the screen popping up asking if we wanted to declare war, I could clearly see montezuma's portrait, but not the guy we were declaring war on. At some points the map resembled outside my house just off the porch's steps and my room.

I had another lucid dream, after I had woken up I fell in to a dream and remembered that I had actually fallen asleep, I was in between the kitchen and living room at my dad's house, and it was daytime and I was facing the living room,.The dream felt unstable so I rubbed my hands together and I felt like I tensed up, but also was anchored well. I tried to leap through the roof, but it didn't work, I tried a second time and my eyes widened a lot as I jumped up and the dream went black and I was awake.

I had a dream and I only remember it part way through, I was in the bathroom and in a stall and two of my friends were outside the stall waiting for me, I was washing my hands and suddenly a lot of people came into the bathroom, it was a bunch of teachers and students and the school staff was assigning people to classrooms for like an hour everyday, it was some kind of punishment I think, but if you had good grades/conduct you got sent to a better class. I come out of the stall and a teacher says something to me, and I remark a smart comment and they send me to a crappy class, and I say to them passive aggressively "well then Im just going to kill myself" in a goofy voice and one of my teachers looks at me and says "I think I will to" as I leave the bathroom.
I go out and the hallway resembles a hallway from my elementary school, I take a right and walk in the classroom, it looks like one of my old classrooms with a mixture of another one, I can't remember correctly, but it was familiar. One of my football friends was in there and some kid I didn't know (there were more people but theyre irrelevant). A teacher walks in and it's one of the new math teachers we got this year, people are whispering and saying shes a bitch. Shes getting on to the kid I mentioned and my friend says out to her "shes so retarded, that when she tried to spell her name the pencil got it wrong" (this almost got me lucid), but I thought it was hilarious. She told my friend to "pack up your stuff and leave", the end.

I'm disembodied and watching this woman who I think of as "the princess." She's standing on a cliff at night, looking out into the distance - I'm facing the opposite direction, and I wonder what she can see out there; she seems to be looking at something specific. She's with this big buff friend/guard. I'm hearing music, though I'm aware the music isn't part of the scene on the cliff that I'm watching. A mezzo-soprano singing, starting with a line that reminds me of the start of the Commendatore's song - "Don Giovanni! A cenar teco m'invitasti" - very similar sequence of notes, but in no language I recognize. The princess has come here to make some kind of self-sacrifice.

As I watch, this dark grey crystal-like structure forms on her right temple, up into her hairline. Smaller, similar structures appear elsewhere on her bare skin where it's visible, but they quickly fade away - I think of snow landing on the skin and instantly melting. But the larger ones on her temple stay. The princess sways as if she's about to pass out, and her friend/guard catches her, but she's all right after just a moment. Her friend finds this scene, her actions, incredibly painful. So do I. I admire her.

Those 'crystals' are things of the same nature I am - they're alive, in a sense, or similar enough to life; they're not capable of complex communication like I am, but they have awareness of a sort. And the princess has willingly made herself their host. Though she and her friend see this as self-sacrifice, I'd call it more of a deal. There's something that she wanted, and this will give her the power to see it accomplished - but she's giving up something too.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Skyping with Julie, who turns out to live only an hour or two away, and feeling foolish for not reaching out to her before.

A scene involving using a spinning wheel for what both is and isn't the first time, having Rumpelstiltskin's mental associations but without actually being him in this scene; finding it soothing to watch the wheel spin.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There was this angel who'd taken on physical form to help me, and when we were done I betrayed it, sold it or traded it to this woman. Now I've gone to see her, and I'm seeing what she's done with the angel. It's chained up against a wall, its feet off the ground, and its severed wings on display above its head. When it sees me, it puts its head against the wall and says without looking at me, "You're safe now, brother. I can't be out." By which it means it has no intention of trying to get free of its chains. Now that its wings have been removed, it's fallen; it doesn't want to see what would happen without the chains to impose some restraint.

William, who's now a Christian (though in real life is an Atheist), comes into the living room and sits on the couch beside me, just as we are asking Rachel which of the guys in the photos she fancies. When Rachel tells us which one it is, it just so happens he is a Christian - I joke to Rachel "oh, you're into Christian boys now are you?" and someone tells me to remember that William is a Christian and I should be careful what I say.

Then I'm in space and can see a massive spaceship. The population aboard are starving, so parts of the ship with people in it are being eliminated to allow more food for the survivors. I see cartoon characters floating out of the parts of the ship that are being destroyed.
I am going to be eliminated too, but something saves me and asks if I'm okay with being saved, reminding me I'll have a hangover tomorrow if I am. "Oh I'm sure you don't mind", says the something, whilst opening up a teleporter to teleport me to safety.

I'm in my bedroom, sitting at the floor at the bottom of my bed with my pillow. Strange mites start to come out of the pillow and I wake up.

[I perform a cheeky DEILD, visualising myself again with the pillow (but without the mites, I didn't like them )]

I'm back in the dream on the floor with my pillow. Thankfully there are no more mites. I look at my palms and indeed they look strange, but I can hardly see them because it's dark - I feel I need some light to help stabilise the dream.
I feel anxious, though I try to stay calm, breath deeply and focus on the surrounding environment but it doesn't really help.
I let myself float up to a standing position in order to walk to the light switch. When I see it, I remember from previous experience that switches don't tend to work in dreams, so I calmly speak "light on" and indeed the bedroom light does come on, albeit dimly. Unfortunately it isn't light enough to see my palms properly - I wake up quite quickly after that.

[Upon waking I attempt an SSILD but fail - I can't get comfy and I can't get back to sleep for about an hour anyway. It might be to do with the alcohol drinking during festivites, even though I hadn't drunk anything the day of this dream.]

I was talking to some guy I shared a building with about whether to shower before going out that day. In my mind's eye I could see myself, dressed to go out in a brown top, ripped jeans, and boots, topped off with some dangly jewelry, but most importantly I could see my hair, clean and styled into soft, voluminous waves coming down just past my shoulders. I concluded no shower was necessary- clearly I was ready for whatever plans we had.

I was in an open building with what looked to be bamboo walls. On the first floor, there were no doors, only doorways, and it was quite small. There was a small, unfurnished living area and a short hallway leading to a public ladies' bathroom, with no stalls. Across from the living space was a wooden staircase I assumed lead to the bedrooms of those who lived here, including my own. Through the two doorways leading outside I could see it was a sunny day, and big, bright green leaves hinted at the foliage that undoubtedly surrounded the building. I was aware that a short walk outside would lead me to a beautiful beach with soft white sand.

A girl was standing near the entrance to the bathroom. She had a heart shaped face and a cheerful demeanor, and though she was wearing a tie-dyed t-shirt and cutoffs, I could see that she had done her makeup and styled her hair into soft little curls. My dream self had some sort of relationship with this girl, and I ran up to embrace her. "Your hair looks beautiful. Who's the cutest thing ever? It's you," is what came out of my mouth when we touched. I like the feeling this gave me - my supposed girlfriend looked so happy, and I think I was too.

I had to use the dreaded stall-less bathroom. Surprisingly, there were at least a dozen girls in there, some showering, many standing around, and a large number on toilets, all socializing. I joined a line of girls on the toilet and was slightly uncomfortable but almost too amused to care. I then noticed a girl I'd met at my college GSA looking at me. I jokingly said, "Hey! Quit watching me poop, you weirdo," to which she just smiled and walked away.

When I finished, I wrapped my robe, somehow now my only piece of clothing, around me and started heading upstairs to get ready to go out, even though I had been ready already. The robe wouldn't tie up properly, so I had to hold it with one hand. Having reached the upstairs, I found myself standing on the very crowded beach. I started walking to the right, parallel to the dark waves. Any people I passed didn't seem to notice me. I had to walk under a few rickety old docks and around a good bit of litter. I passed a seagull picking at some trash, and it took great interest in me, my robe in particular. The next thing I knew, it was attacking. I kept swatting and grabbing at it, but only one hand was free, making it very difficult. It was during this excursion that I was woken up.

This morning I tried to use a lucid dreaming app on phone , with earphones on.
It worked like this: I set the time, and after 30 minutes It will start to play a soundtrack that reminds me that I'm dreaming , I supposed to be dreaming when this soundtrack start.
It was harder to fall asleep with earphones. So I was toss and turn and toss and turn and toss and turn and toss and turn and toss and turn and toss and turn and toss and turn and ...
Then I lost my lucidity , had some hypnagogic imagnary , and then paralysis started to kick in slowly , the noise became louder , and louder , and my body became numb and more numb.
Then When the noise achieved its highest point , I felt like if gravity turned off
And that my body became nothing, I was floating in my room.
I tried to AP, but I knew it failed and that its just a dream.
I moved out of bed and falled off from bed.
I face facing the ground with some pieces of clothes.
I stuck here like that , my legs were broken weirdly, buit I didnt felt it .
Then I used my imagination to roll out and so I did now I'm standing , all normal.
I done a hand rc My hands just dissapeared so I was sure.
I was going outside , my mom told me that she's going so I said "me too".
Then Just before I leaved the dream falled apart and I woke up
just a minute before the app started the soundtrack
.....................................................................................
Not a big success, but after months I finally had one.

I was in school, sitting in classroom with my group. We were waiting for the teacher. He arrived after a while, bald, tall man with moustache, in his late twenties. He told us that we are going to work in a forest. He smiled viciously to me, and told me that I have the hardest work to do. He had good disposition towards me before, and now he betrays me. I went to the cloakroom, and changed my clothes to work uniform. There were three girls sitting on a bench with a sleeping dude. He was drunk, the wine was spoiled all over the floor. They were talking about various drinks. I had mixed felings towards them. We were in friednly terms before, and now I feel only reluctance. I went out of cloakroom, but couldn't find anyone, so I went to the bus stop. After a while the bus came, it was long, two storey with silver paint. I entered it, and sat on the left side. My older sister entered it too, and sat with me. I felt somehow safe, but I never needed her help. We drove to the city between my home and school. In the meantime, girls were doing photos with their phones. They were a bit blurred, but funny. On the photo there was a girl, she was looking like a monkey due to her face exprssion and blur. I went out in my home town, and got a message from friend, that we must met in the city I have passed. I entered another bus, it was old, and a bit dirty. I went out in the city, and received a message that he is in my home town now. I waited for another bus, and got to my home town. It was clody, dark evening. I got another message, he told that we'll meet another day. You can't count on anyone it seems. I went to my home. Mother told me to do something in the attic, and gave me box full of toys and other junk. I went up, and put it all to another box. I went down, and mother told me that we are driving to the city. I went out, entered the white car, and drove to the city.

Morning of December 27, 2014. Saturday.



I am apparently on my way to see some of my old classmates though the circumstances are unclear. They are not actually the ones who were my friends, it seems. Several of them are at an (unfamiliar) house in the area.

I find myself in the front part of an unfamiliar residence, though my classmates are there; about six or seven males. The kitchen is fairly close to the front of the house and there is a large counter through the larger room, extending from my right. Over time, I notice that there are a lot of dishes and such in a very large metal sink and the counter is quite messy - not all just kitchen-related messes, either, but possibly even car parts and pieces of old lawn mowers. I get a vague impression that I am supposed to do the dishes and clean the house.

However, I eventually notice that all these prior male classmates are obnoxious versions of Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, and other Warner cartoon characters. They do not seem that much like cartoons, though, but real beings. They actually seem quite nasty as well as lacking even a fundamental level of intelligence. I am certainly not going to help them in any way, especially as they ironically see me as “inferior”.

I suppose this is actually how I see certain former classmates (though not ones I am still in contact with on Facebook) and some types of people in general - as “obnoxious cartoon characters” and even virtually “hollow”, though that is something I do not have that much interest to dwell on, especially in dream states, considering the vast potential of new horizons even at an older age.

I seem to, ever so slowly be getting back on my game. My recall was sour last night, but in terms of lucidity, I was right on the money.

I started to become lucid when I looked at myself in the mirror. I seemed to have the saggy, wrinkled body of an old person. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I looked away and looked back. I looked mostly normal but had little star stickers all over my body.

I questioned if I might be dreaming and did a nose pinch RC. Yeah, I could breathe, but not very well. I decided to look around for other clues to the state of reality that I was in. I walked around the house, everything was normal, not a hair out of place. My mom was the only other one home, and she asked me if I had recently seen her car keys.

I was still tackling the puzzle of my reality. I went outside and saw a green 50's pickup truck and a very odd orange sports car in our drive. This didn't seem too weird or dreamlike. There weren't any huge planets or multiple suns, though leaves on the tree in the front yard should have been a dead giveaway. I repeated the nose pinch RC. Still confusing results. I thought that maybe I wasn't pinching hard enough. I pinched as tight as I could, and I could still breathe a little.

I made my way back inside, and looked down at myself. I was still shirtless and covered in star stickers. My mom was still looking around for her keys. There was a green truck in our drive. I finally came to and became lucid. I manifested a white tank and thought to remove all the stickers and started to head outside. My mom asked where I was going. I told her that I was dreaming, and that I had to go. She followed out the door and yelled to me that the last time that I said I was dreaming, I had left her alone. She said that she needed her car keys and a hair tie, and she seemed sort of irritated.

"Okay, Look! This is my dream. You don't seem to get that." I put my hand behind my back then held it out with a black hair tie in it. "Here's your hair tie." I put my hand behind my back and thought of car keys. I held out a key in my hand. "Here are your keys." I then put my hand behind my back a third time. "And here's a book, I heard it's a good long read that will keep you busy for awhile." I handed her a thick beige paperback novel with a blue rectangle on the cover. She seemed really happy to receive these items.

Yeesh. Dream characters can be so annoying.

I got down to business. I thought that I should perhaps find Manei and talk to her. I got some good lucidity going. Then I got the dream ending feeling. I knelt down in the grass and tried to hang on to the dream, but it didn't do me much good. I woke up.

The thing that I have come to notice more and more about my lucidity is that it is not particularly dependent on how many reality checks or mantras I've been doing lately. Heck, it doesn't even appear to be very dependent on things such as bedtime or the day's activities. (That's not to say that these things don't impact it.) This could explain why on nights that I charge in, Mantras-A-Blazin, I get nowhere. And on other nights where I don't even give a crap, I can wind up with a rather long and effective lucid.

Instead, it seems to rely to a degree on simply being in the correct mindset for lucid dreaming. I can't really put my finger on what it is, because I only have a rough idea what I am trying to explain. But I do know that it is something akin to mindfulness. In essence, I need to be mindful of my true reality, that I am laying in bed and that what is occurring is a product of thoughts.

I've also found out how goals can be a little finicky, especially when you're not working with perfect lucidity. I've got quite a list of goals, and I've been completing them all out of order. It's best to just pick one (or at the very most, two) goals to focus on per night. I've also found that visualizing completing the goal is rather pointless because it is guaranteed that they way you complete the goal in the dream is going to be vastly different from what you imagined.

The mental state that I am trying to achieve, in general can be a little bit tricky. Staying away from tv/movies/computer games seems to help with my mindfulness. Drawing or writing seems a good way to organize thoughts. Meditation seems a step in the right direction, but overdoing it can throw me off. Same goes for Mantras.

The hardest part about this is falling asleep. I can charge in hardcore and try mantra myself to sleep, but that seems fruitless. I can just throw in the towel and just allow myself to think about random stuff, and that's about as useful as it sounds. I guess I have to go back to my old tactic of the 'cut off' technique.

I am also experimenting with polished stones and crystals that have been sitting in my drawer for years. Some people might see that as a wonderful idea, and others may see it as quack new-age spirituality. I made a small crystal grid back before Christmas, and constructed it around the idea of lucid dreaming. I'd also like to try placing crystals under the pillow or bed-frame. The only way I can really know if this is crap or not is to try it out myself.

In other news, my friend S made me a new avatar picture. I will be using his. I like it.

Yesterday's dreams included using abandoned tunnels running beneath a lake as a hiding place to sleep in during the day. There's one place that leads to a glass dome where you can look up and see the lake above you.

Today's: I'm trying to prevent some disaster, and I'm running out of time. At the moment I'm standing on a rooftop, watching several people in a field far below us. Along with me there's two people, a woman who I think of as my partner - she's on the other side of the roof at the moment, busy with her own efforts - and then this man. He has the power to make anything he says come true, but for his own safety and everyone else's, I made him forget about this power. This is an emergency. I force him to remember, and then I have him use that power to say that there's an earthquake. We all hold onto the roof and watch a crack open up in the field where those people are. The ground's still shaking, the people are scattering, but I don't think this will be enough. We should just bury this place beneath the sea, that ought to do it.

The place is covered in white mist now, blocking out everything below the roof we're standing on, and it's quiet, no more sounds of people below us. I'm walking back toward my partner on the other side of the roof, and I believe submerging this place and all the people in it has managed to avert the disaster. But then this dark spire rises up out of the fog directly in front of me, and keeps rising up into the sky.

It's this huge, gothic tower, a single immense spire composed of smaller ones, spire upon spire upon spire, all jagged edges. I think of a cathedral, but there's no religious imagery, just a sense of awe and horror; I think of a clock tower, but there's no face. It keeps rising higher and higher, I can no longer see the top of it. Flooding this place was a wasted effort.

And as I hang onto the edge of the roof and watch the spire rise, I hear an old man's voice in my head. "Here to keep your ledge, little boy, who once rared-"