All DJ Entries

2017, 05-04

Voices in the Night

I am lying in my own bed, completely unaware that I am dreaming. I am just lying there in the dark, but it feels like there is someone there with me in the dark. I stay still, I don’t really want to let whoever it is know that I am awake. I lie there for a bit longer and I think I am about to fall asleep when I hear a voice. It is a male voice speaking loud and clear, the voice also sounds like it might be mechanical or a recording, or maybe a digitally altered voice. It says the same thing three times in a row. “Go kill yourself. Go kill yourself. Go kill yourself.” I can also feel something in the room moving around in the darkness, I can’t really explain how, but I feel something there. And I become very angry at whoever or whatever is in the room with me. I respond to this anger by letting out a stream of expletives that is way beyond the words I am normally likely to use, focused mostly around the ‘F’ word. “F$@% off, you f$@%ers! F$@% you! Go f$@% yourself, you f$@%ing piece of f$@%! F$@% you and the f$@%ing horse you rode in on! Did your f$@%ing horse come up with this plan? It’s way too complicated for a f$@%ing idiot like you!” My cursing continued for a bit longer, repeating the part about telling them to go f$@% themselves. I can practically feel a presence of someone standing right beside my bed and moving around me, but then I wake up and all is normal.

2017, 05-03

Forbidden Pool

I wake up in a bed that is not my own. It doesn’t feel right at all, so I roll over and look around to see if I can figure out where I am and what I’m doing here. It is dark in the room, but my eyes are well adjusted to the dark and I can make out a bit of the area. There are two other beds and I see a man standing over one of the beds, and I hear him whispering to the person in the bed. The person gets up and I see he is small, about hobbit sized. I get the idea that must be Frodo, and I am also thinking I should follow him. I get up at about the same time as the other hobbit, Sam, gets up, and we both follow the man and Frodo. They disappear from the room and we follow them down a path, up some stairs, and out onto a ledge overlooking a waterfall. Sam seems to want to stay back from the edge, but I am not afraid so I go out with them. Sam says something about it being too cold to be out here just to look at the moon. The man, Faramir, says Sam can go back to bed if he desires, the only one he meant to bring was Frodo, although he has no problem with Sam and me coming along as well.

I go over beside Faramir and Frodo as Faramir is asking Frodo what exactly they are looking at. Could it be a black squirrel from Mirkwood? If it is, it is awfully large and it has no tail. Maybe it is a kingfisher? If it is, then it is a black one… A man that was already on the ledge says it is no bird, it dives and swims like a human and does quite well at it. Faramir asks Frodo if his archers should shoot it. I look down and I see Gollum climb out of the pool with a shiny fish in his hands. Even though he can’t see what we’re looking at, Sam must have figured it out, so he says, “Yes!” and I say, “No!” at the exact same time. Faramir looks at Sam, then at me, and says everyone who was not asked has answered, but he is still waiting for Frodo’s answer. Sam tells me if I knew more about Gollum then I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to shooting him. I tell Sam that I say ‘no’ BECAUSE I know a lot more about SMEAGOL than he does, but I am not angry at his saying ‘yes’ because I know he just wants to protect Frodo. Faramir asks Frodo again if his archers should shoot it. I tell Faramir that Smeagol really has no idea that this hidden place exists, he is only after fish, thus is not a threat because even if he took the information straight to the enemy, he could tell nothing more than, “There is a nice pool there with tasty fish,” which would not interest the enemy in the slightest. Faramir says that merely gazing upon the pool carries a penalty of death, then he turns back to Frodo, who has gotten a bit distracted. The idea of killing someone for just looking on a pool of water seems so absurd to me that it is making me angry, and I say, “You’ve got to be kidding…” a bit too loud.

Faramir either doesn’t hear my comment or chooses not to respond as Frodo finally answers the question originally meant only for him. He says no, he does not want Faramir’s archers to shoot Smeagol. Sam looks disappointed, but not surprised. Faramir says he can’t just let that creature go free, but how are they to capture the slippery thing with anything other than a well-aimed arrow? Frodo says he will go down and bring Smeagol back. Frodo quietly follows one of the archers down to the level of the pool, then he starts talking to Smeagol and saying he needs Smeagol to go with him. I am thinking if this goes on it will look like a betrayal and make healing Smeagol harder, so I will just have to keep the people here from being a bunch of assholes. I focus on creating a shield around Smeagol so they can escort him back to the hideout but can’t actually touch or harm him. The archer that led Frodo down there looms up over Smeagle as if to grab him, but finds he can get no closer. He instead looks rather goofy as if he was just trying to intimidate Smeagol with his larger size. The man looks perplexed, and two other men who try to grab Smeagol have the same results. So Frodo just leads Smeagol the rest of the way back up to the ledge. A couple other men try to approach Smeagol and also can’t get close. Since all the men keep their distance, Smeagol seems to be beginning to believe that they mean him no harm.

The man who led Frodo down to the pool goes over to Faramir and tells him of the strange thing that wouldn’t let him get close to the creature Frodo calls Smeagol. Faramir hesitates, then looks over at me. He says it would seem I am a sorceress after all then. He asks what I have done to his archers. I say I did nothing to them, just a shield of protection around Smeagol in case they were thinking to use excessive force on someone who is already coming along willingly. He gives me a dirty look but says no more, and we all go inside. Once inside, Faramir says that he has decided on his own doom, Frodo can go free along with whatever companions he chooses. He asks if Frodo takes Smeagol under his protection, and Frodo say he does. Faramir gives me a dirty look again and says they don’t think too highly of sorceresses around here. I blurt out that I don’t think too highly of people who would murder someone who is no threat to them simply for fishing in the wrong pool, so that makes us even there. I return his dirty look. Faramir looks at Sam, then at Smeagol. Smeagol has resumed eating his fish.

After Faramir talks to Frodo for a bit more, counsels Frodo not to take the path Smeagol has planned but can’t offer a better idea. Faramir says he has added food to Sam’s and Frodo’s packs to help them out in spite of the company they choose to keep. I am thinking I can use the Penticon computer chip to replicate more food for them if they are in need. Frodo says they were also companions with Gandalf, he’s a wizard, so how am I so different? I tell Frodo, it’s ok if Faramir doesn’t like me, there will always be plenty of people who don’t. As long as he isn’t holding it against Frodo, I’m ok with it. Faramir says he and his people will have to be moving out, so Frodo and the rest of us also have to move out. We walk out of the hidden cave, and I again give no objection to being blindfolded. Faramir mutters that I can probably see anyways… We get to a place a ways away from the hidden cave and they take the blindfolds off. Then our paths part. Frodo thanks Faramir for his assistance, and Sam does as well, then we part ways. We haven’t gone far down our separate path before everything fades to black and I wake up.

2017, 05-03

Faramir's Secret

I am walking in a forest, and it is really quite beautiful. It is also a perfect day for taking a walk in the forest, the sun is shining, there is a gentle breeze blowing, and I hear the sound of a flowing stream nearby. The only thing odd is that I don’t hear any birds. I wonder why there wouldn’t be birds singing in the trees. I keep going and soon I hear voices. I follow the sound of the voices and peek through some trees to see a man and two hobbits walking together through the trees. I hear the man talking about Boromir, saying Boromir was his brother but he fears that his brother is dead. When one of the hobbits, Frodo, asks why he thinks that, the man, Faramir, says Boromir’s horn was found in the river, cloven in two pieces. He says there is only one way that would have happened. I remember that Boromir is not dead, I remember healing him, and I think it would be cruel to let Faramir go on thinking his brother is dead. So I step out into the open.

When I step into the open, Faramir stops short and does a double take. He raises his bow with an arrow already fit to it and asks who I am and how I managed to appear out of nowhere like that. Frodo answers before I do, telling Faramir that he won’t need his bow, I am a friend who sometimes comes by to help on their quest. He says he doesn’t know how I manage to get around so. I tell Faramir my name is Raven Knight, and I give a bow of courtesy. I tell him I wasn’t meaning to spy, but I overheard that he believes his brother is dead. He asks what I know of Boromir. I tell him I hope to put his fears to rest, Boromir is alive and well, I know this because when Boromir was injured I was his healer. Boromir did indeed get injured when he was fighting valiantly against many orcs, and his horn was cloven, but Boromir was still alive when I reached him and he was not beyond saving. Frodo wants to know about the other people in their company. I tell him I don’t have details, but I can assure him that they were all alive when I last saw them. Faramir says he certainly hopes I speak true, but now I must accompany my companions and him back to their hidden place, he would decide what must be done then. I don’t bother mentioning that I could take out him and all of his people all by myself, instead I cooperate and say I will be glad to cooperate.

I follow Faramir along with Frodo and Sam for a while, just enjoying the walk in the forest. Faramir and Frodo chat a bit more, Faramir asks if I have any more details on what happened to Boromir. I skip over the part about Boromir trying to steal the ring from Frodo, and go to the part where Boromir was bravely defending the other two hobbits from many orcs, and indeed he slew many orcs before it became too much. But the orcs believed Boromir was dead and they moved on, they were wrong. I’d been responding to the sound of Boromir’s horn and when I got there he was gravely wounded, but not lost, so I was able to heal him with the light energy. He asks if I’m some kind of sorceress. I tell him not exactly, I just channeled the healing light to restore Boromir to health. He says that if I speak true then he is in my debt for saving his brother. I say no, I just did what was right. He stops and says he will have to do all three of us a discourtesy right now, it is their law that anyone visiting be blindfolded when approaching the secret place. Frodo says it's no problem, even the elves do so when strangers need to enter Lothlorien. I tell him to go ahead, I will offer no objection. A couple more men come from the trees and tie scarves around Frodo’s, Sam’s, and my eyes. I find it strange, but I can still see where we’re going, as if I am seeing right through the blindfold. I say nothing about that, however, and I let one of the men who came lead me carefully through the trees. After several twists and turns that are no doubt meant to disorient us, they take the blindfolds off and we are now looking at a beautiful waterfall.

We go inside some caves and Faramir says he will get us some food and drink and they decide what is to be done in the morning after we’re all rested. He gives us food and drink in the form of dried fruits and salted meats with some kind of wine. Soon the hobbits and Faramir are chatting away, and I’m not paying much attention. Frodo is telling about what has happened on their journey across Middle Earth, then they are talking about elves, then Sam is saying Boromir took his own peril into Lothlorien and it was then he knew Boromir wanted the enemy’s ring… Then there is a brief period of time where Sam and Frodo seem to think Faramir will try to take the ring by force, but I am sure he is not going to try anything, and he doesn’t. He says he wouldn’t take it if he found it by the side of the road. He then says we should all get some rest, then shows Frodo, Sam, and me to three beds. Frodo falls asleep almost instantly, Sam takes a bit longer. I sit down on the bed and everything fades to black as I wake up.

Spinning

3rd person view of looking at a scene from what looks like Mad Max Fury road. The main tanker is attached to a Greyhound Bus? I find myself in the backseat. I become lucid because the dream feels kind of fake. Before I can do anything I hear an announcement from a female driver that we are going to do a sharp turn. I feel the bus turn and turn... and it keeps turning. and spinning and spinning. I wonder if it will ever end. I feel the center fugal force pushing me against the back of the bus. The turn must be long over and it keeps spinning.

FA, into Sleep paralysis instantly. I can feel energy vibrations. Good. Next I think of my target dream. All I can think is Bjork. I begin to see a new scene forming... a house with christmas lights at night time? Okay it looks more like the house I saw in Raven's Inner world. Before I can enter the scene I am on my back. My body doesn't feel completely numb anymore. I try to incorporate my dream hands by making them pinch my nose. I don't feel any dream hands come up. The urge to turn over is so strong. Turns out I wasn't on my back but on the left side the whole time...

Dog walking.

I'm walking my dog with Asuka? and maybe my aunt? At night time. I turn a corner down a street and see that my dog is off leash, and now he's sniffing a black dog where Asuka is. I run to him and yell but Asuka says it's okay they are already friends? I still have his leash and don't remember putting him off leash.

FA, in a dark room and turn to my laptop.The text looks strange an I become lucid. I flex my hand in the dream it feels weird. As a third rc I tap the keyboard but can't feel much keys. I then try to go to a page but I can't think of one. I try typing in the browser but the browser address box zooms off screen. I then try to dilate time by putting my hand on the screen. I start counting but lose concentration. I close one eye. Another hand overlaps mine, couldn't tell if it was mine or someone else's. This makes it harder to count so I lose concentration and the dream fades.

FA, in the backseat of A's car. E is in the passenger seat and xereniak is also in the backseat. The sky looks like dawn and we are in a minimall plaza going through a drive thru. I think, "What time is it? are we late for work? Where is this place?" I'm lucid as figuring this out makes no sense. I go to get out of the car but wake up for real.

I wrote down, but don't recall what it means: "no fate but what we make" (I watched Terminator earlier that day) and Ian McKellen. I think Ian said the famous Terminator line as part of a speech to 'us'. Us probably refers to several characters I met in the dreams I'll now summarize (they're all related, same 'continuity').

I was doing some kind of basketball challenge. I had to dribble my way through a kind of trench (?), maneuvering my way past several opponents. Not willing to give up, I somehow outdid myself, and made it to the end. That would never work in real life.

I remember being in a hotel, and getting into a dumbwaiter in the kitchen. It went up, and I ended up between the corpses in a morgue...

Notes mention Rick Moranis, don't recall the scene.

Throughout the previous dreams (of which I forgot key scenes), a team had been assembled of random people I met in those dreams. Like the "Guardians of the Galaxy", but even bigger losers. One of them was a waiter from that hotel, perhaps Moranis was another. And me, of course - the basketball guy. We all traveled in a cool-looking spaceship. We flew through a kind of wormhole, into a dark planet's atmosphere.

--

First dream completely unrelated to the first bunch. I was at Santa Monica Beach, and I was wearing absolutely ridiculous clothing. A bloody skirt? Pink, no less? I was understandably embarrassed. I didn't want to be seen. I started flying to stay out of sight. I was having fun, so the clothes thing kind of vanished (if you don't focus on it, the dream makes it vanish) as it ceased to be relevant. Flying low through a street, a guy suddenly turned to me and asked something really weird. I think he asked me to record something on tape...? I kept flying, but everywhere I looked, there he was... asking the same question over and over again, in exactly the same tone. I flew higher to get away, but when I looked back (down), there he was! Somehow right behind me in mid-air, asking that question again! I was seriously freaked out at this point. I violently threw him off of me, and he fell down. I somehow had an injury in my side all of a sudden? I woke up, and for some reason immediately checked my body for the injury. Not sure why I did that.

Right before I opened my eyes, I had a vision of a number. 12:14 (in green numerals). I finally woke up, and checked the time. It was 12:14...

Shortly before I woke up, I saw a number. 12:14. My vision was black (dreams had ended, I was in the process of waking up), and this was the last image I saw before I opened my eyes.

I looked sideways at the clock, and it was 12:14.

I still don't know if:

1) I imagined it, 'fake memories'?
2) A complete coincidence happened.
3) I've seen traces of a poorly understood mechanism in the human psyche, perhaps this 'human clock' thing that allows people to wake up a minute before their alarm clock goes off?

Edit, July 2018. I had another one. Shortly before waking, I saw a wristwatch showing the time. When I opened my eyes, the time on my laptop matched the time on the dream watch perfectly.

Another dream in which I have to go back to high school... it never ends. This time though, it didn't feel like a nightmare. I felt okay with it.
I also recall having a heartfelt conversation with one of my former bullies, Max. That was nice.

Awful dream. I was holding a kitten in one hand. I wanted to cause myself emotional pain by hurting the innocent, and losing my own innocence in the process. I wanted to do something awful, knowing it would hurt me. I repeatedly stabbed the little kitten with a knife...

I was swimming in an outdoor pool. I was doing crawl, and going ludicrously fast. I'd lost track of the time, night had fallen. Someone looked at me with a look that said "you're still here"? Everybody else had already left quite a while ago.

I remember diving in this pool, and it was impossibly deep. Like the closet leading to Narnia, this pool was at least a hundred feet deep, had rocks and algae in it, and had all sorts of fish in it... even some extremely large species the size of whales... it was actually kind of creepy, in the typical way deep water always scares me. The unknown, not knowing what's lurking in the dark beneath you. You could not see the bottom of this pool, and large beasts lurked everywhere.

I got out of the pool at the end, and walked over to (presumably) my towel to dry myself.

Boatload of dreams this night, a lot of it XXX-rated so expect to see a lot of "redacted". We start with a fully redacted sex dream featuring REDACTED.

I'm held captive in a room up high in a skyscraper. I remember seeing a painting (?) and thinking the bad guys are the developers of the game "Hitman". Random, I know... The jail had bars that somehow "rotate" (hard to explain) which makes it impossible to break out. A jail guard sees me move and assumes I wanted to escape, so he comes in and installs an additional neck restraint which secures my neck to the wall. At some point I escape anyway, and jump through a window and fall down. But I somehow knew I'd be fine. The skyscraper looks quite futuristic.

In this dream I was flying outdoors, using a poncho I was wearing as a cape that helped me fly (it generated lift, somehow). I landed, and continue a previous plot by talking to a Spanish girl (something about her high-heeled shoes?).

Zombies attacked our old house. I was in the garden with my mom. I tried to fight, but my guns would not fire (I couldn't pull the trigger, typical in scary dreams), so I had to resort to using an improvised melee weapon.

I remember REDACTED & a T-Rex, and I saw in first person from her perspective how it bit her, holding her in its maw (still on the ground). Her sight went black, and I saw her body on the ground with a bite taken out of it.

I was watching TV, watching REDACTED by dinosaurs and giant wurms (like the ones from 2005's King Kong). REDACTED, thinking my dad and his wife Debby (who were in front of me, also watching the movie) wouldn't notice. I asked them what these wurm-things were. My dad simply said (in that typical tone): "Could you stop that, please". I knew he knew REDACTED." I simply replied "I'm not doing anything".

I remember a scene in which I recalled I'd forgotten my bicycle somewhere in southern France... I figured I should leave it there, as the cost of retrieving it would be higher than the price of the actual bike.

Dream that started in a gym and has way too many small random details, I will not bother to even *try* writing this all down. REDACTED on catwalks above the ground, waiting for them to start fighting (and REDACTED), but it doesn't happen.

I was at a kind of get-together of people I've met throughout my life so far. My grandfather (recently deceased), dad and some ex-colleagues were there.
The dream was partially lucid. I told my grandpa I loved him. Something I was too chickensh*t to do in real life, and will pay for with an eternity of guilt.
As I woke up, I could still hear the dream's soundtrack, which fit the mood perfectly.

Dream in which I met, and had a crush on Winona Ryder. I think I even got to kiss her.

I was with two girls. They were both attractive, but I liked the blonde the most. We were in a "fight club" situation or sorts... we were fighting for fun, and decided no one should hold back. It felt liberating, being able to unleash all that pent-up aggression on a willing adversary. Temporary freedom from the drug that is 'civilization'. I thought to myself that I wanted to get to know the blonde girl better, once we were done beating the crap out of each other.

Not sure I want to go into too much detail here. I was 'busy' with a cute black prostitute. My brother was nearby. Yeah.

It was night and I was on a bus, right behind the driver. The driver was completely nuts, and rammed several cars off the road. After a bridge, I got off the bus, and realized I should flee, as I heard the police coming. I sneaked away and started running as fast as I could. I could feel gravity decreasing, so I naturally took to the sky and started flying. The whole world felt like it took place on a circular artificial floating island. I was running on the outer "edge" of the platform. Beyond that were more buildings, and then the ocean.

It was time for the wedding party but being a bride's maid I was confused...I still had rollers in my hair and so did a few others."Take that thing off girl!" replied one of the brides maid as she ripped the roller off my hair and let a curl form. Quickly the other brides maids followed the leader but there was quickly something else on my mind. The park was flooding with dark brown murky water."This may be apart of the party but I'am not letting myself get swept away". Grabbing onto a tall rockI tried pulling myself up but I kept slipping down. Going around the rock calmly though I began to walk up what seemed like a hill.

Soon I found myself on a tall Rocky Mountain with a big gap in the middle and a huge round rock in btw the gap.I became lucid and was thinking of jumping onto the rock when suddenly a voice emerged and spoke saying "There is a river that flows down the mountain". To my surprise a scruffy blonde man in what seemed Tarzan garment was clinging onto the round rock as the river formed and gushed down like a waterfall."He waits for the blonde woman to follow him"the voice continued. I than looked to see a blonde woman standing on the Rocky Mountain. It looked like she was hesitant to jump.

Thinking about the topic of dreams and how guys tend to expect blondes in their dream quite a bit I decided to ditch the cheesy mountain scene and walked around as a walking path formed where the gap was. There I played with the form of a random small black and aqua train that flew near me.But a cynical voice coming from the other side caught my attention. "There's a girl fooling around with the dream.Find her and get rid of her". Hopping onto the train, rails began to appear and the train sped up as well."This is fun!" I cried out as it swirled and rushed through the air like a roller coaster. But the fun eventually came to an end. The train slowed down and I hopped onto a rocky path where someone took my hand and walked me down the path.

In front of me was a small elephant girl and her mother walking down the path that had shaped clouds on each side. One of the clouds formed into Lisa from the simpsons kissing a cat romantically. Lisa than appeared and talked about how her childhood went by so quickly. Knowing how confuzzlibg dreams could be I kept walking on till I came across a city street where a group of guys were trying to use a purple round ball to hit me. In an attempt to avoid them I flew around a tree but to no avail so I just landed on the ground and hit the ball back."The ball feels kind of hard"I replied than hit it back when it was thrown again. One of the guys wearing a dark purple hoody replied "Yeah, that's cause when you've been in the dream a while it starts to stabilize". That's when the other guy threw the ball harder and higher. I hit it but it went up and over my head. I stayed put even with the possibility of the ball landing on my head and it landed on my hand as the same size but a basketball.It seemed after that the guys were going to be nice to me so I followed when they said there was a party. But when we arrived in the building the group quickly dispersed and a hand rose fro the ground trying to hit me hard. I wondered if it was Kiro since I was trying to summon him but his hands seemed bigger.

"Lets get out of here together" I told two other worried girls. We flew out together and rose into the starry sky but we weren't going fast enough. "Work together"I said grabbing onto one of the girls as I thought of myself as a boost and her the steerer. The other girl disappeared and I began to notice melee characters flying toward us."Bye Mario,link,turtle guy" I said after summoning a axe and plopping them off the sky one by one. Soon no one was following and my back up disappeared. Than the drea shifted...

I was now in a room with musical instruments that resembled the ones fro the horror game "Bendy And The Ink Machine". I played one unconsciously than flew away and hopped from narrow walls till I reached the outside.A voice came out saying that Bendy would give me a nose bleed in my living room even if I got away luckily though. Paying not much mind to it i looked around to see I was in what seemed like a train theme park. A white monster who pretended to be Bendy tried running after me there but he was clumsy and tripped. I thought of beating him with a stick softly but than changed my mind.Woke up afterwards.

Notes: Purple was a repeating element in this dream.

A Dime was living with us for a week and kept bringing progressively hotter girls over. They went to go do photo shoots in the park and I considered flying over there to impress them but knew it was lame. I stayed home, and eventually got assaulted by some spiders that were tarantula size but had daddy longlegs bodies. Freaky stuff.

This is my first "Behind The Scenes" entry and what these are, are to talk about some aspects of my dreams in detail without cluttering the actual dream section. Here I have certain scenes I'd like to explore in depth or explain a concept. In "Dream" entries, side notes were marked a different colour but in "Behind The Scenes" entries, dream events are marked in a different colour:



Dream No. 106

The Sleep Scene
So here is where I said to my parents "I'm going to sleep for a few minutes" but really, I wanted to see if Dreamy WB could help me get up that cliff. When sleeping, I didn't enter "the void". As I wasn't lucid, I didn't process that thought in the dream but when I woke up, I thought to myself, "why didn't I enter the void?" and then I thought I would only enter the void if I was in a lucid state. It was strange how I was in that light sleep and then when I opened my eyes again, I was in the same dream, continuing on from where I left off. I also thought that I would have woken up after opening my dream eyes. I find it quite strange (but good) that the dream just continued on instead of waking me up. Because the concept I heard was that if you close your eyes, you'd find yourself in "the void" and then during that time, if you open them, you'd wake up... So that was interesting.

With that perception of being on an open beach and waves washing over me, I believe that's the time when Dreamy WB was somehow shifting the environment... But of course I don't know how she really did it. Or maybe those waves meant she (my subconscious) was sending a certain message that I could "fly" and that I had the potential, so maybe it was me that shifted the environment. When I woke up, the cliff appeared to be lower and more reachable and so I tried getting to it again. I think the reason I wanted to fly higher though is because I was trying to improve my skills, in dream I was literally having the thought that I wasn't expecting the cliff to go down, I was expecting me to go up. So the fact that I thought I could be "cheating" may mean that Dreamy WB did more than what I thought she would do. Basically, I wanted to enjoy the experience of being able to fly high and achieve something.