All DJ Entries

Fell asleep at: 11:00 PM

Woke up at: 7:00 AM

Dream 92: Reflections

In the car with my brother, daytime. We're driving down the highway. My brother next to me is holding the phone camera to my face, and I'm trying to get it off of me.

I managed to steal a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was oddly clear and high res. I think it looked a little more attractive than I do in WL (Heck, I felt like Dreamy Luigi from M&L: Dream Team. No real difference except I looked better).


Dream 93: Ham and Anger

In the kitchen with my sister and her boyfriend, morning. They had just made me food (Migas with ham on the side). I was also watching Hulu on the Switch and I had my headphones on (The ones I lost a couple days ago).

My cousin (Let's call him Quiet J, because why not) walks in and, being as standoffish as he is, says something to me while failing to acknowledge I was wearing headphones. I remember it being some kind of insult but I didn't want to make him angry while he was there, so I let him get his food and go to my sister's room.

I ask my sister what he had said to me. She responded with something I don't quite remember. I then told her, annoyed, "I didn't ask how 'pretty' he thought I looked, I'm asking 'what did he say about me?''' That shut her up real quick and the dream ended shortly thereafter.

Created Tuesday 29 May 2018

Got a WILD/DEILD loop. There was plenty of other things, but I can't recall anything at the moment.

Dream 1 - Crazy Mannequin

The visuals were very dim. Three WILD transitions in bed, of which I further confirmed with thorough hand rubbing. Each time, I rolled off the bed and into the Void, where I waited a bit for a transition, but no such thing occurred. I even tried forcing a fighting scene by having music sound in the background via humming part of it (namely, several battle themes from Tales of Phantasia), with no luck.

In between, I'd experienced a bout of REM Atonia, where I imagined my guide, E, by my side. She muttered a few things related to what I'd experienced, when she suddenly flashed some wicked sharp teeth before me, clamping them constantly with a menacing smile.

Transition to another actual LD. I summoned my guide in my arms, and began carrying her off. Although I could note her distinct warmth, something about her silhouette (the only thing I could see of her at the time) didn't seem right. So, I brought some light, if only a flicker. Rather than what I'd expected, I found that the figure was a hairless feminine mannequin, its neck inhumanly elongated and twisted. The creature grasped me closely, then hungrily bit down on my neck. Still, this wasn't at all painful, so I continued undisturbed. The door, on the other hand, proved to be impenetrable. I fumbled with it for over a minute before I'd awakened again.

In the next instance, I floated up to the door, then tried phasing through it. But, again, this proved unsuccessful.

Another transition, where I'd a brief moment in an apartment suite, only to return to bed nearly in an instance.

Couldn't keep this up after that.

Created Monday 28 May 2018

Got a DILD to note, as well as some scraps.

Scrap Group 1
Back in highschool. Started in a math class, in which I felt I wasn't performing too well. Breakfast started later. There were two cafeterias, though the one I wanted to enter required a backpack for passage.

In a school again. Later on, Batman appeared. He was looking for this foreign pilot who was hiding in the place. Later, said pilot goes out to nuke a nation opposed to his in response to some previous attack. I was given his role. Between this, my jet bomber transformed into a helicopter. I dove too low, lost momentum, and crash landed in the streets of a busy city. Noticed my niece, Irma, and mom were nearby, and Batman appeared as well. A sardonic detective starts arresting me, and other cops start apprehending my present family. I was outraged, but Batman advised I just let this happen.

Dream 1 - Tiny School Mischief

Transition from various unknown scenes. The visuals were mostly clear. I was in a school yet again, the surrounding constructions made of dark wood. By this point, I was aware of the dream.

I went to an assembly room, where I shrunk myself. I then ran around the area, creeping around and jumping in view of female faculty members around there to startle them, just for fun. After that, I went on to look for something, but can't recall details of that. Unwittingly, I got sucked up in a wormhole, its tunnels flashing in black and white. I spent a minute there, searching for the item (or person) in question, but didn't find it. Eventually, I was warped back to where I started.

Later on, I shrunk myself further to crawl beneath a door and into a classroom. My senses began fluctuating, my perspective at times appearing as if I were just crawling low on the ground than if I were actually small. I complained about this to a nearby student (whom appeared similar to an old classmate), whom stated that I shouldn't worry so much. I curled up into a ball, and started floating around the place. This helped realign my senses. From there, I leaped between desks to spook the students. The teacher, a woman with light brown hair and glasses, noticed as much. She was not impressed.

Things destabilized shortly afterwards.

#521 - DILD

I am in a version of a childhood friend’s house. I keep noticing these strange sores on my arms. Every time I look they have a new sore that starts trailing up more and more. At some point I go into total anxiety panic mode. I stumble into something like a hotel lobby full of people. I fall to my hands and knees and there is a pause. A peace comes over me and I gently float into a chair. There is a black haired woman across from me who was very animated in conversation, but now she has fallen into a trance.
A psychiatrist appears and starts talking to me (I’m not sure I how I know his profession). I ask him about the people in the room and he says,
“They don’t know because, they don’t know”.
For some reason this is an extremely profound bit of wisdom to me. “Ah yes! They are dream characters!”
Now fully lucid I decide to play with this knowledgeable dream character and start asking a lot of questions. I ask about the sores on my hands and he tells that I need to rid myself of that demon. I feel some initial fear but then calm myself and argue with him that I don’t believe in such things and I am not into religion. I forget what all was said after that but my keto diet was brought into it and I think maybe my demon was my struggle with such a restrictive diet plan (I have been struggling with electrolyte issues and energy levels as an long distance endurance runner in waking life and have been considering dropping the diet plan).
We continue conversation, but I get distracted by the fact I am still in a lucid dream and for some reason holding that amount of focus is getting unbearable. I lose lucidity a bit and go back to worrying about the sores on my arms. I wake up shortly after that.

I was flying (hovering), to stay out of range of two SUVs full of stereotypical G-men (think 'Men in Black') who wanted to apprehend me. They had tasers and everything. One of them tried to reason with me. He said they needed me to help save the world. I felt a little nervous at the idea of having so much responsibility. And couldn't they just ask me nicely? I gained altitude with the white house in the background. It was night.

I was in a bus, driving on the BASF site (large chemical production plant I used to work for). I think my dad was driving the bus. He also works there in real life. The 'steamcracker', a plant critical to the operations of the site, was doing a test. Someone on the bus suggested getting some distance between the plant and our bus, just in case something went wrong. And it did! There was an explosion. I urged my dad to floor it out of there before the blast wave could get to us.

Lucid dream where I was in the back room and I think Phoebe was at the door I let her inside. Strange thing was that it was super dark when I first entered the room and pheobe was a dark silloute of a cat. When I touched her she did her typical catlike move the sdie and curl around my hand.

Then the lights were on without me noticing and Margaux was on the couch. I saw Tucker jump up onto the couch to get a drink of water. Thats when I noticed there was an extra sink on the counter. I realized I am probably dreaming. I looked at my hand and although I didn't have an extra finger my hands looked really disorted.

By that point however it didnt matter as i knew it was a dream since I remembered that
a) tucker is dead
b) dont live at home anymore
c) dont have two sinks next to eachother

Soon after the dream sort of started to black out. then I wasnt sure if i was dreaming anymore or laying in my bed. i told myself to remain still and keep my eyes closed in hopes of reentering the lucid and i managed to reenter a dream but was this time
not lucid.

------
Also was skiiing with my dad at some point. It was really cold and windy and we were looking to rent skiis for him.
There was also an indian girl who wanted to have sex with me in the ski lodge.

3314 words

Closing comp at 7:09. Aiming to sleep by 8pm.

------------------------------

Now its 4:01 A M. I woke up probably at 12 A M and 2 A M and recalled my dreams. But I was tired and let it go to RBFA. It wasn't until the third round of dreams I felt like getting up. A lot of details of the first 2 rounds stuck in my head anyway but I think to have recalled it perfectly, I'd still have been better off writing it all after each round. I kinda needed a break though, so its okay.

---------------------------------

So the first round of dreams began with some stuff which I don't clearly remember now. I know that I initially remembered a bit more. Maybe it will come back as I write.

What I remember is getting to this auditorium thing. And there were two guys facing off. One was going to punch the other. Then another guy sort of walked in between them quickly to help break it up but it was only for a moment and he kept walking by. The big guy didn't end up punching the smaller guy. Later, behind stage, the smaller guy was saying how he had post traumatic stress from that. Also, he had post traumatic stress from the guy's smoke smell. I was like, yeah, that smoke smell, is really bad.

In another part, there was this mini saw-tooth razor on a wire or string. It was kind of floating towards me, and I had to grab it by the flat side, with my fingers, to keep it from cutting me. I managed to get away. But it turned out that it was worse than I thought!

His intended use of the razor really upset me. I fought him on it, telling him it was wrong. He wouldn't listen, and we got in a bit of a fight. I think I had a gun but it was full of peanuts. I remember it more clearly the first time I recalled it. But I know there were some stairs. And I ended up telling the guy I don't want to hurt him.

At the end of this round of dreams, I remember thinking of the word "adult". (I have a problem with the word "adult" in waking life, every time I hear it, I kind of cringe.) Well in the dream I didn't have that problem, and I was able to look at my inner child as the child within me, but to see myself as the adult in my contemporary life. The dream made me think about some things differently for a moment.

So that was what I remembered of round 1.

-------------------------------

Round 2 of dreams came next! I remember it began with me at the grocery store in G C where the produce is, by the onions to be precise. Only in this dream, I was buying a 5 pound pack of raw chicken, a 5 pound pack of raw ground beef, and some other stuff. I remember talking to a woman there about it. There is another major detail OTTOTT and I wonder if it will come back.

I remember the counter top in my Nana's kitchen was very dirty. B F was saying how it was already clean, but it clearly wasn't. So I took the sponge and started trying to clean it but it was stained brown.

I remember walking in the woods at the arboretum. I had a book in my face, reading it out loud as I walked. But checking ahead of me every so often to see if anyone was walking the trail, because I'd be embarrassed if they saw me reading out loud / talking to myself. Something else happened there, I forgot what.

I remember a post office truck, and a driver. The seat was bent funny and I wondered how it would support his head. The head part actually leaned forward too far. Anyway he drove into this building complex.

I remember in that building complex there were some cubbies. I thought I would use the cubbies this way. One to be full of money. One to be full of water, in a giant rectangular tank. And one to be full of some sort of house titles or deeds, from real estate work I dreamed of doing.

I wanted to do my writing out in the sun, but there was someone smoking. Or, I was afraid there eventually would be. I felt mad that the smokers could pollute my air any time and I'd never have any warning, and this made being outside a bad place for me. (I am not sure about this detail chronologically)

I remember some guys doing a rap video. First they did some kind of talk where they said something like, "You know know," and then the other guy was like, "ohhh! That's what yo grandma said!" (Thats not a perfect recollection.) The rap video was actually about working out. It showed them doing pull ups and other workouts on a hanging fence and they rapped about the gym. Then the guy went into this one room. He was wearing a hat. But the camera man was giving him instructions for where to stand in the room, because he was recording him from outside. It might have been a bathroom, but he wasn't being recorded using the bathroom or anything like that.

Eventually we all ended up on a slanted, paved hill, or roof. I remember it was about working out still. But I decided to just lay in the sun, with my head higher than my feet on the slanted hill. My sister laid down too five feet away or so. My mom was standing. One of the guys from the rap video was still there. I invited him to find a spot and lay down, too. Then I could narrate a guided meditation for us all, because I had been thinking of one in my head. I remember looking up at the sky. It was very white looking with some formations and images in it, I guess. Not sure. The guy found a spot like 5 feet away from my sister and I began the meditation. It felt very warm on the surface we were laying on. Mom couldn't join due to physical limitation. I got ready to start the guided meditation, and woke up.

When I woke up, I was still going over the guided meditation in my head. I was thinking of how the guy in the dream was trying to work out all day, but he could probably benefit from some balance between physical exercise, meditation, journaling, and other activities. Not just training his body, but his mind and body. When I realized I had woken up, I started to recall the dream, and did surprisingly well.

Those were also RBFA but I retained a lot of detail after the next time waking up. Not perfect recall compared to the first time remembering it, but given the trade-off for getting more sleep, it was okay this time.

---------------------------------

Round 3 of dreams was even more vivid and eventful. I remember being on the phone with someone and telling them about W A. The phone was being weird, running out of battery, acting funny. And my fan was giving background noise that wouldn't stop so I wanted to pull the plug. The conversation seemed important. The guy told me he knew about in person W A meetings, every day, in my local area. I got excited and wanted the information. We kept talking but he didn't give me the information, so I waited. Eventually, he had to go! I was like, "Wait, what about the meeting information?" But he was off the phone by then. I would have to ask again later.

I remember my Mom being nervous about a meeting on the phone. From an earlier dream (which I don't think I wrote) I remembered something about how in a dream, it's easier to re-frame an entire situation, cognitively. So then she could just imagine it was a dream, re-frame the entire situation cognitively, and be a happy camper. It seemed like over simplified advice though after I said it. (Some of these mental shifts in dreams have given me super powers in waking life, like last nights dream about my feelings suddenly not getting hurt.)

I might have forgotten parts in the middle here. But I remember walking through a parking lot, probably after I had parked. I walked by the guy I was on the phone with before and prepared to ask about the meetings. A from S W T was there. I began a conversation with the guy but it was outside, so my eyes were darting around. Hyper vigilantly scanning for smokers. There turned out to be a pack of 3 on the side there, to our left. I told the guy, "Sorry, I can't stay out here. I'm allergic to smoke." And hurried inside before breathing any. (Unaware it was a dream.) I remember hearing from behind me, "He's allergic to smoke!" And A and the other people in that smoking circle said, "I love smoke!" As I went inside, I felt angry about 2 things. One, they don't "love smoke", they are in denial about their addiction. The nicotine has their brain wired to enjoy the smell but really it is harming them, similar to how the caffeine in coffee wires people to enjoy a taste which they are naturally repelled from as children. Second thing I was angry about was that their smoking addiction creates a by product (second hand smoke) which makes my air that I will have to breathe, not clean. So, they shouldn't be allowed to do it. I was internally fuming about this was I went inside.

I remember sitting next to my cousin J. She had a can of tuna or other canned food, with a sterno base type thing beneath it, which it lit up. There was something about how she wouldn't sell it because it was so novel. I wanted to see it lit up but didn't actually get to asking. Someone in the front of the room was talking, I think. I forgot what it was about.

I remember through the windows, seeing it begin to snow. The windows were really big. It showed a whole town. There were some really interesting mansions and the view panned around. Maybe it wasn't a window, but a big monitor or movie screen, because of how the world turned. It felt like I was looking out a window though. I remember this one mansion showed. It had a giant shaft thing with a pointed top poking up from it, like a bell tower or light house. There were holes in the walls, which I guess were for air flow, but I worried they'd let snow in.

The next mansion was revealed from behind the first. They looked kind of like Taj Mahal buildings in some ways, with an indian design, but also other cultural influence. The dream mixed it all together very well. They were orange-brown with kind of red. Well, this mansion also had a shaft thing poking up, but on top of it was perched a purple air plane or space craft. The space craft activated and began to fly up. Beneath it was hanging a rope sort of thing made of several bulbs, with some bigger bulbs at the end. I was really amazed at this thing. The big bulbs at the bottom of its rope thing bumped into a mail box. This was shown from a zoomed-in fashion.

Then the dream showed the run-way where the plane would take off from. It showed how the plane took off kind of lop-sided under normal conditions. But when they covered the whole run-way with slippery soap and weighed the plane down at the tail, it took off just fine. All of this testing must have taken a lot of money, I thought, and they'd have to make the movie tickets very expensive.

Charlie Brown turned out to be the pilot for the movie. He was shown trying to fly the plane. It might not have looked exactly like Charlie Brown but it represented Charlie Brown to me in the dream.

Then I was near the exit of this food store place. There were stacks of pictures on paper a little bigger than computer paper. Each picture was someone who had been murdered. Whoever had murdered the person was supposed to take the photograph of them. I wanted a giant stack of pictures to make drawings but didn't realize I had to have murdered the people to take them. (I haven't murdered any one!) So I had to give them back. They looked like women or rock stars. There was also a big comic book with pictures of an orange fiery character. I wanted to take the comic book with me, too. It looked cool. But it was just a prototype. I said, fine, I would just look up some screen shots on google images, and left without any pictures or comics.

At some point there was this thing I did with hand movements. It was like I could move my hands in a figure 8 movement, and generate wind or energy. I thought I was working my arm muscles as well using air resistance. I'm not sure if this was at this time or earlier.

Charlie Brown continued preparing for the flight, but there was something of how he wasn't strong enough. Then the dream showed Jimmy Neutron. Jimmy Neutron was training with an older scientist kind of man about how to use super strength. He didn't only have super brain power, he also had dormant super strength capacities, which had a specific name I forgot. Anyway it showed Jimmy Neutron playing in this video game view, with some kind of weights on his feet, and picking up heavy things. The weights were like big trapezoidal weights. At the end he grabbed a giant, heavy-looking key, and used it to open a door. This showed he had mastered his super strength.

Then it was back to Charlie Brown in the plane. Now he had the strength, I think. He was older and had a pointy chin. The the dream showed that he was trying to resist his drug addiction. He kept saying he wasn't going to give in. Then, suddenly, he gave in, and smoked some kind of drug from a pipe. After he realized what he had done, he was like, oh no! But then began to suck his thumb. It seemed to me that the pressure of being an actor in this big movie and having to fly this big plane had become too much for him and he was having a mental break down.

I remember after that, instead of being in a plane, it became the interior of a moving car. Six people were sitting shoulder to shoulder, some men and some women. They were all committed to doing some kind of really addictive and unhealthy drug together, while maintaining denial by only saying positive things. It made sense to me for a moment. Maybe if they could block out all "negative thoughts" (which would be thoughts that they should stop using, etc. which are actually important thoughts, just un-pleasant) then they would never have any problems. However at the same time, it showed that their supply of drugs had just run out.

Their drug of choice was something in a can. It probably doesn't pertain to a type of drug from waking life, but was just something the dream created. They were desperately swiping the bottom of the can to try to get the last molecules of the drug. When it had finally run out, it showed that the group also had a hand gun. This was to commit suicide if anything went wrong! The woman on the far left (I was seeing this from accross from them so she was on my right) took the gun. Still smiling in denial, she put it into her mouth, to the back of her head, and pulled the trigger with next to no hesitation. Nothing really happened.

Everyone else in the group kind of looked at her but didn't seem to care much. The woman on the far left held the gun and waited. "Nothing is happening! I feel pain, but I'm not dying!" she said. I figured she had missed the part of her brain which needed to be shot in order to kill her instantly. Ouch. (The rest of this paragraph is a little graphic so you might want to skip to the next paragraph, or read it, its up to you.) Well, blood began to pool in her mouth as she spoke. I couldn't watch. I could tell that the blood was going to basically pour out of her mouth as drool. It was dark red.

"Can one of you please shoot me again so I die?" she asked. There was some pain in her voice but she also sounded like she was on drugs. I can't think of the word for her tone of voice but it was like when women go, "Oh, my gawsh, like, totally!" (I don't mean to be misogynistic, I am just trying to describe it.)

Those dreams took a little over an hour to type. In the end I had to leave some as short hand notes until the next morning. If I am up for writing the dreams right after having them I do it. But this time I was so tired and needed to RBFA.

---------------------------------

6:54 A M: I slept and didn't have many dreams. I just remember being at my Nana's. I went downstairs to get some food but saw that Nana was smoking. So I ran back upstairs to avoid the smoke. I brought a little pot of vegetables with me, thinking it was Kale. I ran back to my Nana's room and Aunt C was there. It turned out what I had grabbed was a little pot of green lettuce or cabbage. More like cabbage. It was supposed to be for Aunt C, but I had grabbed the wrong vegetable. She said it was okay, suggesting she didn't really need it. But I felt so bad that I ran back down the hall way to go down stairs. And in doing so, accidentally spilled it all over the floor. I felt pretty bad about that.

I forgot what else happened there. The only other thing I remember is I might have woken up to the image of a cartoon fist coming at my face. Not sure why I think that.

I probably had other dreams, but didn't remember them. It's funny because lately I remember most of my dreams between 12 and 5 A M. If I sleep after 5 A M it usually doesn't contain as many dreams, or not as many I remember. Where as I always heard there would be the most REM in the latest sleep cycles.

Well, thats all for today. I feel pretty well rested. I think it was about 8 hours total sleep.

Got up at 6:30 am, took 3x300mgs of alpha GPC, then stayed up on a computer and watched tv from sofa, in my wilding position.

Fell asleep at first, then woke up and wilded.

In no particular order:
Walking from the door between floral and produce at my store. Looking at my hand, thinking, no, no, I'm not asleep. But I counted them anyway. Stopped at 5 for a second, thinking: see? But then more and more fingers showed up and I was so happy and incredibly surprised by that, haha.

I was phasing through windows with ease, flying just by thinking "up" .

At one point I thought "this will be a long lucid" .

Some other things I don't remember.

I woke up from one dream because I was experiencing pure terror. I tried to 'get back' to where I was, but to get there I had to go through a sequence of events (I'd passed through before) that were terrifying. I once again woke up because I couldn't deal with the fear. It literally made me breathe heavily and sweat. Scary stuff.

I found myself in either a movie theater or opera hall, seated somewhere in the crowd (section on the left). Then someone stabbed a blonde woman. Possibly the performer? Then a lot of people everywhere (almost everybody) pulled knives and attacked the same victim. I think the victim had done something to them, and they were taking their collective revenge. I was being blocked from escaping by a big dude (also armed with a knife). I was too scared to fight (too many enemies, all armed with knives while I have nothing) but I felt like their problem wasn't with me anyway, so doing nothing was the wisest course of action.

7:44 pm closing computer for bed.
4226 words

--------------------------------

12:45 AM: So this has been my usual sleep, about 4 hours so far. And I had some dreams. Earlier dreams involved N H and M R. I forgot what. then there was something about G F and K F and how it was after school. And how we could go to a pool. I wanted to go swim but was worried I hadn't eaten enough. We talked about going for a swim then eating after.

There was more stuff I forgot. But one was about being in this water slide thing. And there were apples or slices of pizza or some food. Some of it belonged to each individual. I think I was passing some peoples apples or whatever food it was to them.

Then I remember it being something about a gym. There were a list of pod casts, one being about something, sleep, and something else, and many other podcasts. There may have been some weight lifting component. I remember some toys J G was trying to sell. He was very push and didn't let the other sales person talk. One was a Tigger robot kind of toy. I forgot the other. But I remember the big shelf of toys.

There might have been a Pokemon game earlier now that I think of it. Not sure.

Anyway after that, I remember a monopoly card hanging on the wall. Like the poster board ones that indicate each property a person could own. These had red in their color on the top and I think they said "CIRCUMCISION HURTS". However they might have said something else about circumcision. Anyway, I felt triggered, and said to the sales people about how circumcision (MGM) was bad.

One of the sales people (not J G) said something mean to me. And some other mean things to me. Both him and J G tried to minimize the harms of MGM and I was initially angry. But then I realized that their insults to me were not hurting my feelings one bit. It was really amazing. I told them, "You, know it's amazing. Its like your insults are not even touching me." I didn't know it was a dream either, so it was really phenomenal. "It's like I'm doing such important work here (intactivism) that your mean words can't touch me."

After that the insults ended, and it kind of shifted. B D was there coloring. I had a piece of paper and wanted to color with silver and gold colored pencils. My seat was at the head of the table. B D was to my left. Someone else was to my right. There wasn't a lot of room in front of my seat.

Eventually, P S and maybe another woman came by, and wanted to sit down. There were two chairs and we wondered which to put at the head of the table, for the woman to sit down. (I seemed to be giving up my seat.) So P S told us that the one chair was more comfortable and we should use that. But I realized he was saying that so that we could use the less comfortable chair! And leave the comfortable one for him. Ha! One chair had cushioned arm rest things. They both had some padding. I was also thinking of folding my paper so that it fit in a tiny spot of table between B D and the other person's binder.

I remember something about a spiritual teacher. A woman like M or R (thin, middle-aged, greyish blonde hair, short in stature) was saying how she listened to a spiritual teacher (someone like Eckhart Tolle) and he said she would have to go to work and actually work all day. Not have any side conversations. Not be distracted on the computer, social media, etc. Just work. This idea seemed preposterous and she laughed with everyone else.

(I just remembered a cat. Maybe there was a cat at some point in the dreams.)

Then I was putting contacts into my phone. I was going to write "Good Guy 1", "Good Guy 2", etc. Because it was for a team. One was R K. I might have been thinking of just putting a number as their name, like, "1", "2", "3", etc. But what if someone checked how I input them? It would seem too impersonal. I remember the back space key being in a random spot on the 3rd page of characters and I had to scroll to that.

Then there was something with me in front of a box. And something about how a formal was coming up soon. I was looking through this box. Maybe there was a mirror, and other stuff. C P and G W seemed to be hovering around me. It occurred to me that they must be hoping I ask them out as a date to the formal. I didn't really want to go with either of them, since I wasn't that attracted to them, and I was just going to go alone. But I tried to be nice. And had to get changed.

I went home, which was instant, I don't remember traveling. There were all these shelves of old books. I realized that everyone there would have smart phones with internet, so there was no need for me to bring a little hand held dictionary. It said something with the word "toe" on the cover which I would have felt embarrassed about if I'd brought it. The cover was kind of tattered.

I was wearing gym shorts and a regular T-shirt. Not sure what I'd wear for the formal. Dad came in and I got an uncomfortable vibe. He had on a white button down shirt and khaki pants. He told me about how he asked a college counselor to give him the good schools to go to. And how he wouldn't settle for certain schools, listing them off with disregard. He eventually named the school he did go to and his accomplishments very pridefully. I sat in an armchair, sinking into it as I thought of what to wear. Maybe a button down shirt like Dad's. I was slowly realizing I couldn't go to a formal in gym shorts and a T shirt.

Dad's speech reached a peak. "I worked and worked and worked and gave money to you, your mom, your sister, your mom, your mom, your sister, your sister, you, your mom, you, you, and now, you have no time for me!" And he was adjusting his pants which had become puffy camoflauge-designed canvas material kind of pants. "Now I'd like you to get your fist out of my face!" He said, breaking into tears. He had one hand in the air, open, but clenched in a way, like he was rock climbing, with no rock there. Right after he said that, I found myself in my physical bed (woke up) surprised that I wouldn't make it to the formal.

It was such an intense ending that I woke right up and recalled it so vividly. Now that I've written it all, I will go back to bed. I have some R L S so I will do some exercises for that and hopefully get back to sleep shortly.

---------------------------------

4:54 A M: I definitely slept a couple hours there and had a lot of RBFA. But I have a lot of the dream memories in mind, so I'll write them.

First, I remember walking around the neighborhood. I had in mind one of those blocks to drive the car up on to for changing the oil. The triangular ramp things. A grey one. I couldn't find it, but there was a spoiler thing built into this Scion kind of car that came off and might look like one. I went to remove it and noticed a bunch of dark colored pick-up trucks. 'Okay, maybe I'll leave it,' I thought. (I think)

Then I was on a school bus. I don't remember everything that happened but I am pretty sure that I had the grey ramp thing, a back pack, and some other stuff. The bus driver got mad at me because when my stop came, I couldn't get off the bus. I was still looking for my stuff. but the bus driver was mad and they just drove away from my stop without giving me the time.

I had fallen asleep by trying to use the counting method but I don't remember getting past 70 or so. Oh, I think I had a chance to stay still at one point but it was too uncomfortable (urge surge) and I moved and broke it. I'm sure it would have passed if I had stayed still though, and I'd have dropped in deeper. I made it through some other intense rollover signals, but that one, I just must have been out of mental energy.

So I found myself driving up the road by the campus of the college I went to. In my Mustang. I was pulled over. For some reason my eyes wouldn't open much. The police officer reminded me of Officer S. I had on my orange glasses. Then Officer S left and another officer (I'll call him Officer B but I don't know his name) came to my car.

They had been telling me that my steering wheel was too far ahead. And that my steering wheel should be closer to my chest. So I did a joke where I pressed the steering wheel button to push it towards me, and then ended up having the whole thing push me all the way to the back seat. Officer B was mad. I told him it was just a joke, but he said it wasn't funny. I always get triggered by people with no sense of humor. They're so unreasonable.

Then, I was in my back seat, and all these young kids came in the car. They bumped into me and stuff. I wanted to move but I thought the kids would have to leave my car, since I didn't know them.

All the kids were wearing a similar outfit. Eventually, they must have left. Now I have some mental blank spots. I remember really needing a bathroom though, and none were available. I was getting mad. All the stalls were taken but I only needed to go #1 anyway. I found a stall with a toilet and a urinal and went to the urinal. The urinal was like one of those garbage cans thats built into the wall, except lower. It was already full of pee though. I tried to urinate anyway because I didn't care, and wound up urinating on my shoes.

There hadn't been a door on this stall. But I figured it didn't matter. Also, everything was really gross. I had my hand up against the stall at one point, holding it. Then I felt some sharp claws dig into both my wrists and grab me from behind. This caused me some panic. It felt very physical.

Whatever it was, it brought me out of the dream, and into my bed. It continued to hold me from behind, but now I only felt the sharp grip on my right wrist, and the grip on my left wrist wasn't sharp. I was in some sleep paralysis but was able to say, "Stop!" and then there was some silence while it continued holding me. It was very interesting when it replied to me, "Stop!" a bit louder.

I said, "Why are you doing this to me? Please don't do this." But I also alternated between panic and then remembering to relax because it was just sleep paralysis.

It brought me into a dream in which I was lucid at the onset. I turned around and looked at it. It was kind of shaped like a bowling pin, with blue, black and yellow. Maybe I will draw it. It had one eye at the top of the bowling pin.

Another character who was also a similar shape told me I can't look behind me. That character will be behind me but I can't look behind me. I'm not allowed to look at it. If I do see it, I have to only look at its necklace which had a golden thing on it.

I'm going to call the bowling pin guy "Pin" for now. So after that, we all sat on a couch. This felt like a very profound dream. I was a thin couch at first. There was someone, i think an old woman, to my left. We held hands. Then someone sat to her left. More people came, and they all squeezed in to the furthest seat on the left. The couch continued to stretch. I was surprised at one point to see that C S, E S, and I S.

So, then more people joined. I asked the person next to me, "Are they all lucid, too?" And they said yes. I decided to cast a spell to extend the couch to my right. There were some wooden latch things that had to come apart but it worked. I felt cool about using a spell. I think more people sat down after that.

"Pin" was up front now, going to teach us something. I think it was "Pin" or maybe it was the other bowling pin character, but not "Pin". (I'll have to try to break the rules and look for "Pin" in future dreams.) Anyway, I guess I woke up. This one was very lucid. But it wasn't a clear point to me where I woke up. At some point, I was awake, and had to go through some effort to think of the dream again.


Eventually, as I thought through it, I fell asleep. (RBFA) There were some various parts to this. I'll try to put them in order.

I remember something of trying to dream journal everything. And being in a class run by B D. Apparently he had gained a school position and everyone who graduated 10 years ago had to come take a test. His test was designed to kind of make people feel their life hadn't worked out. One of the questions was "Which of your expectations were not fulfilled" or something like that.

So I saw through his plan. I was able to try to write the answers I felt good about.

I remember some kind of thing in a cafeteria. Some kind of graphic design thing that is on the TOTT (OTTOTT?) but then I remember dream journaling, and seeing B W. I had a very complex idea of a dream journal in my mind, complete with a lot of drawings. But that was overwhelming me so I decided it was okay just to type it out in a simpler fashion.

there was a part where I was on a roof. And I remember going up and down some stairs. Its kinda vague to me. I remember seeing this house with siding all around it. Then G M came out of there and sneezed. I said bless you. He rubbed his sneeze on me. I was not mean to him about it but kind of wondered why he thought that was okay. It got on my beard. Then I was driving around and I remember seeing this big orange house with brown doors at the T in the road I had got to. Thinking to myself about forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving myself, being forgiven, it was annoying me because they always emphasized forgiving others or being forgiven by others. Where as I thought that being able to forgive one's self should come first.

I also remember finding myself in a cafeteria. Mom, dad and my sister were there. Eventually I went over and joined them. And had some french fries or something. This part is kinda vague.

I remember another part of walking around the house at my parents old place. There were kids playing next door and they talked to me from over the fence. I forgot what they said, or I said.

There was something about a frog and a rabbit running around. I had put each one in its own box for a day for some reason. This seemed cruel to me and I let it out. They pooped everywhere once they got out. It was human-size poops too.

Then there was a girl who was trying to clean up after them. The rabbit's poop must have been tan because she had a bunch of that that she was cleaning. I remember in cleaning it, she had also left a mess, which I then tried to clean up after her.

We got transported to a restaurant job kind of thing. I was at the front, setting this window that had fallen off. I had to reset all the metal rods and stuff. I remember just trying to open it, and the window panels just fell out of the wall. There was an electronic device that plugged into some metal rods. That was all the way in front of the restaurant.

I felt connected to the girl, like I had a crush on her. There was a presentation starting. I was on staff there. I ran to the back of the room where I could see the presentations. I almost took the seat next to the girl but hesitated and ran and even slid on the floor to stand against the wall. I was like half-way in the chair near her when i changed my mind. Maybe I thought it was too bold of a move to sit near someone I liked. So I found myself standing between two table or counter top things. Standing made sense to me because I was a bus boy there anyway.

So I looked ahead and there was some kind of presentation going on. It seemed to be a carry over of characters from previous scenes.

So I've woken up from those and recalled what I could. I still feel sleepy and will try to sleep one more time.

---------------------------------

7:18 A M: I had more dreams. Glad that I slept some more. I was in some sort of cafeteria thing.

There was some stuff I forgot. But there was also some stuff about being signed on to a computer program. And the guy didn't want me to log out. I was saying some stuff, something angry, and he told the guy next to him to just breathe. So he did unilateral nostril breathing. I logged out of that program.


I noticed I was still logged in to another program, too. I had to scroll around the screen a lot to log out of that one. But when I got out, I saw this really cool graphic of a Scizor. It was like the transition from being in that program to another. It spun and there was a ripple affect, with a lot of red and silver.

I forgot all of what was going on. But, I got on this elevator thing. The first time, I think I was in a robot suit. I got in and it said help was needed on the fifth floor, so I went to the fifth floor. When I got out there were all these coolers full of mussels (black shell fish) and canned beverages. I pushed them out and found that they had to be pushed around a ramp that twisted around the outside of the building. Some of them fell over the edge but I was able to get most of them around. By the time I got to the bottom, it was a whole truck load. I figured if I'd brought it to the wrong place we could always bring it back up on the elevator.

Then I walked around some more, and we had to go back in the building. Back in the elevator. This time with a few people. A woman was examining all these beads on the ground. She said we'd be better off leaving them for when the owners come to get them.

The elevator door was about to close. Suddenly the woman said that if it turned red, we better all get out. Sure enough, it turned all read. Like night mode on a computer but with red tint and the black would be red.

She ran out of there and I managed to just make it, too. I looked back and the elevator was lit up white. The other guys had been stuck in there. Not sure if they would be okay. It seemed to be because of their robot suits.

I followed the woman around the building and saw her getting into this car with no windows. It turned out to be cushioned. I don't think there was a roof but the doors went up a few feet over out heads. it was a gold colored car with a beige interior and very soft. There was one more person in the back seat. We were safe there.

Then I woke up. I'll try to sleep some more because I feel sleepy enough.

---------------------------------

Well, I ended up realizing W A was at 7:30, so I went to that meeting. I thought I'd let myself sleep while I listened but it didn't work. Oh well, I think I got 8-9 hours of sleep anyway.

Dream 1:
I was swimming in murky, deep green water at the beach. It was overcast and cold, with grey clouds and no sun. Morgan, Isabella, Sam, and the twins were there. They were laughing about something and discussing some object I’ve since forgotten, but I was more concerned by the fact that I could see hundreds of bodies on the ocean floor when I dipped my head beneath the waves.

Dream 2:
On a lawn, there was a canopy tent put up and with a blanket under it, like on Founder’s Day. We were having a picnic. Sam sat on the ground next to me, and Isabella sat in a chair next to the twins. I had brought lemonade, but I forgot the fruit I was supposed to bring. Sam asked how I could remember the lemonade but forget the fruit. The conversation somehow got to my hair, and Sam told Isabella to dye it blue. She did, but halfway through she said “oh no”and threw the dye away. I asked why and she said she’d accidentally made it purple, but my hair was blue.
I then realized I had a flight that I had to be at at 11:33. I quickly tried to finish a plate of pasta and some salad that hadn’t been there before, and then I went to go find my boyfriend and say goodbye before I left. I found him at a school playing soccer with Jan and Lauren. I ran over to him and gave him a hug and said goodbye, and he kissed me on the cheek.
Then I realized my flight was a virtual flight of some sort, and I had missed it, but there would be another one soon.

Fragment:
I was in a very weird high tech shower, which I was trying to figure out. There were lots of curtains and smaller subunits with jets and pools of water. Before I could figure it out, I had to go.

Dream 3:
Franci and Helen were telling me I had to go to the hospital for my own good. I was reluctant to go. I said I wanted to take a shower before I left. They told me to pack clean clothes and to make sure I got a good roommate. I said I’d ask for a single room.

Morning of May 28, 2018. Monday.



I am in a setting that seems partly modeled after the Cubitis living room (last seen in real life in 1978). There is a computer set up in the southwest corner. It seems to be late morning. I am looking at pages in a newspaper. There is a short article (on the upper right of a page) of about three paragraphs written by someone with my surname. Their first name is Aueda (which is unfamiliar, though which is actually a distortion of my last name, with an extra “A” and no “L”, though my dream self does not realize this). I notice the name Tecumseh written a few times throughout the article. The person lives in New York. I tell Zsuzsanna that I am surprised Aueda is still alive, though this is by way of false memory, as I have no relative by this name as far as I know. In fact, I am uncertain of whether the person is male or female. Zsuzsanna seems to know it is a female even though she had not known of her previously.

“I did not know they were still alive,” I say, followed by, “They were born in the 1800s”. (This turns out to actually be 1907, but only assuming my dream self is aware it is 2018, though that is unlikely, as my non-lucid dream self typically has no idea what year it is or any viable temporality.) I use the computer for an Internet search. It turns out there is a very large and detailed photograph of her at her rural home in New York. I read that she is 111 years old. In the photograph, presumably recent, she is standing and facing the foreground. I report her age several times to a few different people who show up. I am amazed by her age. The photograph seems like it might be of Grace McDaniels (the “Mule-Faced Woman”), though my dream self does not consider this. Additionally, the surreal nature of her face is far more extreme than Grace’s. She appears to have a large pointed chin covered with small bumps as well as an additional section below her mouth of a different rough texture. She also seems to have large elk antlers growing from her head. (This was likely influenced by a strange movie called “Marker” that Zsuzsanna and I saw the other night, though also seems influenced by the character of Hela from “Thor: Ragnarok”, which we also saw recently, though again, the horns were like elk antlers.)

I look to the left and see a man, who I first think is her husband, lying on a couch inside their house. (This is illogical, as the main image of Aueda was taken outside, but the photograph implies the walls closest the camera are not present in the image, but are in “reality”.) Looking around, I see more detail, including a barn and a woodpile to the right.

An unknown male is suddenly standing behind me on my left asking me if he can use my computer to look up a different name, which is Helen Crowley. I do not feel comfortable with him using my computer, as the keyboard is difficult to use. (It is smaller than a real one, but my dream self does not consider this.) I consider that some of the keys can easily fall out or get jammed. I try to tell him about the difficulty of use (though I also tell him how I am familiar with how it us used as such) and that I do not want him using it, but he gets annoyed and walks away for a short time. Finally, I let him use it, though after typing in the name myself, while I get up and walk away from the area. (Helen is Zsuzsanna’s mother’s name as on at least one official document, though she uses Helene but pronounces it as Helena. Additionally, Crowley was a “King of Hell” character from “Supernatural”, so my dream is illogically mixing a lot of random details together, which is what dreams often do.) Before I get up, I notice all the people in the photograph are now walking toward a storm cellar while looking back at the viewer now and then (Aueda being the last one in the line). The image is now actually moving like a film.

Looking at the floor a little later, I see otherwise clear water with pink areas, much of it flowing out from under a table, and I wonder if someone had been ill, possibly bleeding, or had just spilled something. Marilyn (older deceased half-sister on my mother’s side) is present, though seems as she was in the 1960s. She says she had contacted someone about fixing the leak. She is standing against a table with her arms folded, firstly facing me, though I walk about looking at the pink water. As I look at her in profile as she faces left, I notice how her body and posture is impossibly distorted but I do not catch on that I am dreaming.

I go into other rooms (which are unfamiliar). I see and clearly hear water flowing everywhere, most of it clear and no longer with pink areas. I see a large laundry basket full of clothes somehow filling up with water nearly to the top (which is impossible as it would just flow out through the large square holes in reality). I also see that the otherwise shallow flooding is going into a room where I supposedly have a number of my books and journals. I walk back where Marilyn is and loudly say, “Everything I have is being destroyed. Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?” Soon however, I realize I am dreaming and that I was liminally trying to return to deeper sleep (as water is my most common autosymbolism of dream state induction and reinduction, partly based, biologically, on the first months of life spent in the waters of the womb - in fact, I had been reading a comic book yesterday where a woman is pregnant and her waters break). I feel relief in waking up (though in reality, we did have a flood and rain inside the house when the roof was torn off last November and a lot of books were ruined, though not any of our journals).

---

More scraps...

Scrap Group 1
Wandering round streets at night. For whatever reason, I climbed up some two-story high rock formations (very similar to those found in the Bronx), despite having footwear unsuited for the task. At the top, I noticed a toddler dangerously close to the edge, whom I guided away. Later visited a party in an apartment suite, where that kid and his family were guests.

Eating potroast chicken. It wasn't done.

Walking around a highly altered version of my town at night. I cut through an occupied park. I trying to avoid those there by keeping near a nearby lake, but found it was impossible to get through that way. A pre-teen and his dad blurted insults at me. Tried ignoring it, but was too frustrated. So, I went back to try to pick a fight with the dad, though a security guard passed by, and drove me off. Later, I find the shorter route home has been flooded. I feared going through the detour, as I "knew" a psychotic pimp roamed around there.

I went to bed around 7:30, asleep by 8. Now, its 12:25AM, so I got 3-4 hours of sleep.

I laid back down and almost let these be an RBFA, just because I felt so tird. But as I laid there, I was able to recall more and more, and they were very profound. I ended up recalling them and stillbeing awake, so I came to write after all.

The earliest part I remember (and there were more than this) was being at the local food store. I think I worked there but might have just been a customer. The manager, or some other guy, was throwing out a bunch of chicken in the dumpster. I wanted to take some of that chicken instead of buying next chicken to save money and stuff like that. I think I felt guilty or had to ask someone.

There might have been some parts with waiting on line at the grocery check-out there.

Then, I remember vaguely, some stuff with some people from school. We were driving down B Avenue and then around the bend. As I went under the lights, I was thinking of, or seeing, a Pokemon game. It was showing how there were 3 to 6 different versions, and each one had different Pokemon. The version I was looking at seemed perfect. It seemed to have all my favorite Pokemon.

So I drove down that main road and towards the school. Talking about directions with someone else in the car. To the right there was a road that led to B V. I explained to the passenger how I always ignore the signs to B V, and don't go there. (Was I the passenger or the driver?)

Then I drove by the school and up to that T in the road. Going right would take me to B V (I think) and going diagonal right would take me into this golf course or resort area with a big gate. (It was like the arrangement at the T in the road from waking life, but with some reversals.)

First I drove to the right, but got nowhere, and looped back around to the T in the road again. This time I went to the diagonal right. People were running chain saws to cut down trees. We got our car to one of the trees. maybe it was our job to cut it before we could pass. My normal waking life thoughts against cutting trees didn't seem to kick in.

When the people ahead of us were done cutting, they left. We were left with this tree and a little Scion type of car in front of it. Maybe to haul the tree away.

We got into the little Scion type of car, and tried to turn it on. The key wouldn't start. There was some fear or apprehension building about needing to get out of there. Maybe bad spirits. When we tried to turn the ignition on, it didn't work. Someone held the key all the way turned, and kept turning the engine, and I was afraid it would blow up. The radio began to show some different words on the LCD display, which had to do with the car not turning on, and being jammed.

Then, we started to hear a voice, or feel a prescence. Something about "Kuralin Goku" (I think Kuralin is Japanese for Krillin but in this case, it didn't mean that, it was more like another version of Goku) appearing. He was saying how he was blocking the energy of the bad spirits, but it took him so much energy to do so, that it was almost ironic. There was something like me feeling a packet of Retainer Brite tablets and ripping off a little corner. Something with a little Gohan character being really eager to talk to this "Kuralin Goku" character. Vegeta was also there, and was astounded. Regular Goku was there too.

Then the dream unfolded a piece of paper and showed "Kuralin Goku". He had a big neck and maybe golden ear rings. Also his face looked kind of like Vegeta. It was saying how he would become Green Goku, and I imagined Regular Goku fighting and winning against Green Goku, and gaining the power.

After a while of that, there was this motorcycle guy who was like, "Stop all this! Stop all this!" He just couldn't take it any more and thought it was all nonsense. His face showed on two panels, exclaiming that this had to end and we had to go, basically. So it ended and I think we left.

Then the dream played some music. There was one song I don't remember. There was another song that was kind of like Bon Iver. The guys were playing a gentle keyboard, and then one vocalist was singing gently. I forgot the exact words but the music video showed a religious text opening up. So it was religious music. It showed various verses of the religious text.

One caption said something like, "2325 helps". 2325 was a verse in there. So it showed a bunch of verses side by side. Also the song seemed to be about his mom's passing.

Kind of simultaneously, I was in my room, watching something on T V. (In my parents old house) It was becoming kind of violent or scary and I wanted to turn it off. No problem all I had to do was turn it off. Except my sister's T V was playing something violent and loud in her room. I wanted to ask her to turn it down or off, too. And went to the bathroom.

In there I was thinking of what I saw in one of the verses of the religious text. It was mentioning different forms of anger. Like "Anger: ______" (fill in the blank). There were lots of other varieties of anger listed but the one I remember happens to be "Anger: Demonic". Anyway as I was in the bathroom there, I thought of the possibility of making my own movie or anime using all the variations of all the emotions listed.

There was some kind of scary wiry or sinewy creature on one of the movies that played.

Okay, that's nice to have that all written. I feel like I won't fall back asleep easily. But anyway I guess I'll do some LD reading until I get sleepy.

---------------------------------

cool! Just did a bunch of reading on r/luciddreaming. That's a very active forum. Now I feel sleepy enough to sleep again. (Its 1:45 AM... Wow I do 2 hr WBTBs!)

--------------------------------

Now it's 3:06 AM so I only slept 45 minutes or so, putting me at 4-5 hours.

After reading r/luciddreaming I was inspired by some threads to try the counting method. I laid down and at first was annoyed by my fidgeting. But started to count, "1, I am breathing in, I am dreaming... 1, I am breathing out, I am dreaming... 2, I am breathing in, I am dreaming..." (and on and on, I actually got to the 70s and maybe even the 100s) Focusing on that mantra seemed to get me towards a state where I was dropping out of consciousness but would re-gain it. I remember beginning to get dream flashes of a red fence going into a bush. Something white... That I forgot. (TOTT) And also some gold text on a black back ground with words I was trying really hard to keep a hold of in my head, but don't remember now.

I had some non-lucids in the beginning, then I would wake back up and recall the dream and resume counting. One involved being at my current house. There was a giant squirrel in the drive way. I was like "Wow, giant squirrel!" And then it scurried away. It kinda scared me and through dream logic I made sense of why squirrels can be that big. My sister was out there with me. There was a bush in the front of the driveway. I remember something about there being a blanket in the bush that I could sleep in, but there was a mole in it. And something about it being wet.

There was also a part in my Nana's room where I had to hide by Nana's fire place, behind a chair. Then, I was out of hiding, but the dog was drawing attention over to the fire place. I had to admit to my sister I had hid by the fire place. (Although I'm not sure why I hid.)

Then I think I had my first lucidity where I found myself in my room, and stood up in bed. (Might have been separation.) I looked around, and saw it dimly lit in my room. I wasn't sure if I had really stood up. I dove back into bed and landed right on my neck. Luckily, it was a dream, and I just returned to the void. I must have pretty much known it was a dream.

I also remember being in my room at another point, lucid.

In my room I managed to pull off my eye cover and then get it to be brighter. It is very often I dream I'm wearing an eye mask, and have to take it off in order to see more clearly. I remember on the wall by my desk, where my grid of photos is, I had a poster of some actor with multi-colored pixelation. Blue, neon green and neon red/pinkish color. It was groovy. I was trying to put that up.

There might have been some more words I was reading. One of the words was so interesting, starting with the letter 'a', but I lost it.

There might have been another scene. It feels like something is there but I can't get to it. Maybe it wasn't, though.

This next scene was really fun. I found myself walking towards a brick building. I had just come back from a walk in the woods. The sky was bright blue. It was sunny. I saw some kids wearing black up ahead.

Realizing that I was in public now, not just the woods, I went to put my shirt on. Then I realized it was a dream just by the fact that I had been falling asleep consciously enough. To test it, I jumped up, and found myself flying. (That's how I tested most of my dreams in this sequence, and when I succeeded in flying, it was a great feeling!)

I figured I would land on the roof of the building. The sky was bright blue. I heard 2 groups of kids on the ground going, "Wow! How did you learn to do that?" The clouds were a mix of puffy white ones, and then these square outlines. "Lucid dreaming!" I yelled out in return and it sounded through the whole sky.

Having made it above the roof, I let myself fall. I was going to land on the roof on my back. I felt the fear of the pain of colliding with the roof but realized it was just a dream. I even heard of someone feeling ecstatic from hitting the ground after a long fall. So I just spread my arms out and relaxed, and when I collided with the roof, I woke up. It felt really cool and not painful at all.

There was another part in being lucid in my room, and trying to manifest something. When I awoke in my bed, I realized I could have probably manifested it if I'd tried to manifest it behind my room door. But that was after I'd woken up.

The last dream I had was interesting. Got up from bed again, pretty sure it was a dream. It was close, though. My chair was right where it would be in waking life. I thought of tipping it over but I was like, "Wait, if its waking life I don't want to make a mess." I walked accross the room and saw a red square on the wall, dimly lit. Other than that there wasn't much light in the room. I felt it, and it felt like I had hung up a Charizard card on the wall. 'Yep, this is just like waking life,' I thought. (It really isn't there in waking life.)

I started to feel the wall and think that I had gotten up physically. Before I could do a finger palm test, I saw that the door to my room (I was in the corner by the door) began to be sucked into the corner of the room. 'Oh! It IS a dream!' I thought.

Feeling some fear, I turned around. Maybe someone was coming to battle me! There was an air conditioner in the middle of the room, running. I could feel the cool air coming out. I think I tried again to manifest something I wanted, but it didn't work. I jumped 5 or 6 feet up on top of the air conditioner (it was on a table) and then jumped from there up through my ceiling. I passed through it fairly well. (Didn't remember to practice walking through walls much though as I was too pre-occupied with manifesting something else, which I really didn't need to, and wouldn't have been as constructive.)

At first I got stuck in the ceiling. But then I thought, 'No. this dream isn't ending.' and pulled myself through. I found myself in a computer lab with lots of computers. I flew to see what was on them.

This dream made me think of how I want to use my lucid dream time more constructively. Anyway I woke up from that last part and thought it through. My memory was pretty thorough. Some details continued to trickle into my mind as I wrote. I'm really happy with the counting technique and will try again next time, if I can muster the concentration skills.

Oh! I just remembered. I actually did try charging my hands to form a super-saiyan-style aura, but didn't get it.

---------------------------------

Ok, wasn't sleepy yet, so read more r/luciddreaming. Now its 4:34 and I feel tired again. Back to bed!

---------------------------------

Now it's 8:03 AM. I probably got another 2-3 hours of sleep putting me at 6-7 total. Lot of RBFA but intentionally.

The earliest thing I remember is a dream of a guy who ate chocolate. Then he was concerned about having eaten the chocolate, and worried about his health.

I remember a part where I was on a lucid dreaming sub-reddit. Only, it was much slower. It was called r/deepluciddreaming but seemed connected to World of Lucid Dreaming Forum so I thought of Dr. Clare Johnson. There was some kind of wild hologram thing that appeared at the bottom. Maybe I was lucid in these early ones.

I think the next dream was of riding on this raft thing. But a Jamaican guy was making fun of me. He was with his family. Something about riding the raft, he made fun of me for. Also, I was going over a word document, and inserting a colorful picture. But someone was making fun of me for that. Meanwhile they were saying all this stuff about conspiracy theories and I never once mocked them (not that I would) but I explained to them how I hoped for the same courtesy.

The picture I was using got too big for the word document and I couldn't get rid of it. It broke into parts when I tried to highlight it. My Dad came by and commented on the picture of several Pokemon standing in a pyramid. The colors were inverted on my monitor.

Then I guess next was the part of me parking my Mustang in the parking space somewhere foreign. I remember it was almost out of gas, and I watched the gas meter go all up and down after I started it up until it settled on a little less than a quarter full. I was going to leave it there to fly home or something because it was a foreign place. I think an Eastern European place.

Next I was walking by some docks with boats. My fore-head was all crusty and I had to rub it off. This was one of those moments when it was more clear I thought I was in waking life, not a dream. Anyway I walked by some women loading a boat. Then into this auditorium place. it was very luxurious, for wealthy people, but I had no need to be there.

Suddenly G A walked by me. I was pretty surprised to see him even though he would be one of the wealthy people at a place like this. I think we talked for a moment. Then I got to a room where several family members were distributed into different corners of the room. One was the beer corner with Uncle M and Dad, i think. One was the liquor corner with some relatives who drank liquor. And some others. I remember actually sipping a tiny bit of liquor through a tiny straw. 'What am I doing? I'm losing my sobriety count!' I thought, as I flipped a bottle cap in one hand.

Then I walked around and got to this building. There was something going on with several textbooks and my sister was there. I read the books in a funny voice.

So there was a part after reading the books where I thought I was in waking life at that point, but the other dream about drinking had been a dream. (What's that called? When you're still dreaming, and not lucid, but you realize the previous dream was a dream?) Anyway I was sharing on a meeting about how I could become lucid during those dreams. After me I was surprised to hear a woman named Marietta (no waking life correspondence) begin to proclaim how it was possible to get lucid in a dream using this beverage. It was a colored beverage, like kool-aid in a baby bottle. It's color was off, but could be restored by shaking it up. Because the color was stored or absorbed into the bottle cap thing. So she shook them all up and then they were perfect.

After that, I remember walking through the Arboretum, on another phone meeting. Or thinking about how on a previous meeting, someone had said that no one could talk about suicide any more. This didn't bother me. But someone else objected, saying that it was important for someone to get support if they needed to talk about that. What bothered me was that someone suggested lucid dreaming not be allowed to be discussed. Since I had brought it up, more people brought it up, too. And it was taking over the meeting focus while not being as directly related. I could understand that but wasn't happy with it.

At the arboretum, instead of green leaves, all the trees had white flowers. And all the ground had white flowers and white flower petals. It was kinda cool.

I vaguely remembered something from being at the shower at my parents old house. Not a very clear memory, though.

So, that was it! It was a good move to just stay on r/luciddreaming until I felt sleepy again.

Dream 89: Not So Lethal Lava Land

The whole dream was in this faux 2D perspective. Sometimes I could see the environment in first person, and others I saw from third person. The entire dream looked like a video game. Everything was a sprite, from the foreground to the background. At the end of the dream I remember getting cornered by a bunch of purple dragon things and being eaten alive, so that's fun.


Dream 90: You Said Room Temperature, Right?

Daytime, grass covered yard in between my house and a neighbor's. I'm talking with a friend about the pink gecko I have outside my house (True story, geckos often like to clime on my windows). I told him/her that I managed to keep one as a pet, and made it a little dirt home.

When I got to its little home, I saw that it had died inside of the water. My reasoning within the dream was that it was too cold for the lizard and it died of hypothermia. Its eyes were glowing a light green.


Dream 91: Fragment

Another school fragment. Nothing much to talk about here.