dream fragment

Back in Stettler. I've been given 2 new prayers. One for the kindness of Jamie's heart. And 2: to pray that she finds me. My 15 minute prayer list got longer.

Jamie 1

A dream of her standing behind a counter looking zoned out. Not responding to me.

Uh oh. That hasn't happened in a while.

Jesus

A dream of Jesus hugging my brother.


My brother is like the most anti Christian guy I know. Also why my family knows nothing about my faith. My family is toxic enough without adding extra things they could traumatize me with.

Running

I was in a field with a woman. Some guy, David, ran past us at super speed. I ran up a hill after him. The woman following behind me stopped from being tired. I kept going up but the path got way too steep. I stopped too. I think the woman was Jamie.

Jamie again

Jamie was with me outside by a building. I had very low awareness. She was trying to convince me that some tall British woman with glasses should be my girlfriend. She suggested that I write a letter to her. I reluctantly did.

Gave the letter to the woman and ran away. Me and Jamie followed the woman to a bar. Jamie convinced me to approach her again. I did with some light banter but the woman was with two other men. She then implied with a joke that maybe she would have 3 dicks in her tonight instead of two...

Okay I pretended to be into that and promptly walked away. I went outside and Jamie was there. She got in front of me. I was behind her. We were in an embrace we seemed to be having sex as we were both moaning. But I couldn't feel anything. She abruptly stopped after a minute and left.


Sigh: please no more loyalty tests. Testing in a dream is inaccurate because in a lot of dreams I lack considerable awareness. Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It says nothing about dating multiple woman or finding a girlfriend . Jesus already called on me to think of Jamie as exactly how I would a wife. Even though it hasn't happened yet. So that's the position I'm in and I'm not backing down.

Jamie 3

I was in a fast food restaurant. Jamie was working the counter. I was looking at the menu when a woman from the group behind me went around me and went to where Jamie was standing and tried to order. Jamie scolded the woman and said to wait in line until I had ordered.

I was lucid though it wasn't fully a dream. I think I was actually halfway awake but sleepy enough to still hold onto a dream-like state. I was only a passive observer and could feel quite clearly my real body laying in bed. I was having that genre of dream with Marcus where we are flying through space talking showing me different anomalies and the like.

I became lucid and I asked him, mostly just for fun, what the solution to the N-body problem was without iterating through it.

He showed some complicated mathematical equations and he explained that it requires "multidimensional recursive mathematics". The basic idea was you use an equation that takes the average of the mass and position of all bodies except one and treat that as a common barycenter, and then calculate the gravitational interaction for those two bodies using the standard 2-body formula. But then you must put the equation inside of itself and do that for all subsequent bodies effectively creating an infinite recursion loop since you need to know the equation's solution before you have solved it in order to solve it correctly. He explains that to the 'Aliens from Arrival' it's a high school math problem because they can perceive time non-linearly and the equation/branch of mathematics to solve it hasn't been discovered by humanity because you need a certain type of advanced quantum computer to do it.

He brings me to a place where there are three planets, a red mars like one, a gray mercury like one and a white icy one all gravitationally interacting with each other. He connects the red and gray one with a HUD line showing their barycenter and shows the solution and a bunch of complicated equations for the white icy planet. Interestingly the HUD is purple and it looks like my dream HUD/overlays not his.

I realized I had asked the question in jest but predictably, Marcus had given me a serious answer, and I tried to remember as much as I could about his explanation because it was interesting, even though in all honestly its probably not useful.

The dream carried on for awhile after that though it turned more into waking and actively guided thoughts and sleepy daydreaming after that.

Getting back into the flow of dream journalling, I'm reminded just how much friction there is before you actually decide to write the dream. I have the memory of recalling more, but this is all I managed to get down this morning.

I was in school, drawing, when my old principal walked in the room. He danced around it for a second, but eventually told me that I was allowed to doodle since I had a good record. My classmates were not a fan of this development, but they had little say in the matter.

Later on, in a church-like room, I walked up to a vacant piano and started playing jazz (a genre I don't play iwl). A family-friend of mine played drums in the background to accompany me. My mind now clued me into the fact that I never learned how to play this, and I was dimly aware of the unlikelihood of me hitting harmonic chords every time. I tried to move my LH to play some random keys too, but no signs of discordant music. The music was pleasant. After I finished, the same principal came up to congratulate me and ushered me back to a seat.

Later on, I was in this convenience store dining hall esque area. I knew somehow that this was a secret room of the school. The dining hall has a fridge that I walk up to. Inside the fridge is a stainless steel artifice, circular in shape, made from several components. I knew it to be a heater, and tried to jerry-rig it for some reason, but the moment I tried it, brilliant flashes of yellow electricity shot through the room.

And that's all I wrote.

Pretty much forget them all as soon as the next dream started, didn't even have time to write them down, but I will try to get some words down.
1. Walking, somewhere. It was hazy, like everything was obscured by fog. Or like i was in an ocean.

My alarm went off about here, usually set for 2-3 ish hours into my sleep. Good for waking me up in the night and gaining awareness.

2. I was at a supermarket, buying groceries. Spegepølse 9kr. Mørbrad skiver 8kr. Great prices, looked delicious.
3. I think I was playing a game. A military shooter, very difficult but enjoyable.
4-5. No clue, I just know I had them.

Pretty vague dreams and fragments of memories from them.

Back in Stettler. Had barely any dreams for a couple days. I had lots of non lucids but I forgot many details.

Jamie 1

Just Jamie standing on a road by a mountain or something, she was looking at me and said, " I'm a lesbian now." And smirked as if I might like it or hate it.


Really? This again? Safe to say as usual if I dream of her like this it's because of some demon interference or influence. In the voice we've had our issues lately but we keep pushing through.

I wake up and pray for Jesus to help us with the dream problems..

Jesus

Jesus is with us but he looks annoyed with us. Maybe jokingly? Not sure.

Work

I was somewhere with people and ran into the lady who runs out of the box. Just a brief conversation with me saying I'd like to be on call again.

Jamie 2

I was walking with Jamie by some random buildings we seemed back to normal. I was talking but I kept messing up my words. Jamie questioned me about what I said. I told her when I'm tired I sometimes mess up my words. Or when I'm nervous.


Hopefully the dreams improve.

The world in this one was really fucked up—post-post-apocalyptic, like after some Judgment Day-type event. As a result, humanity had become way less secular, and worship of all sorts of deities (mostly chthonic) was widespread.

In this mess of a world, I was making my way as the leader of a death cult. We were infamous for human sacrifice to our dark lord, making the skin of our enemies into ritualistic clothing, and maybe even cannibalism, but I’m not sure about that one. Safe to say, people were really after us. They wanted to capture me like I was Hitler in 1945. And they did.

In some kind of law enforcement operation, I was tricked into coming out into the open, and that’s how they got me. I don’t remember a trial, but my sentence being death was pretty much a given. Death by sacrifice to some deity. I don’t remember which one exactly, but I think it was some kind of goddess of healing or something.

I was assigned an executioner to guide me through my last days. The guy was a dapper-looking English gentleman, dressed in a brown and green three-piece suit, carrying a walking cane, and topped off with a fancy hat. Really well-mannered for a stereotypical executioner. His office - yes, office - was packed with books and high-end furniture. The man had taste, an appreciator of fine arts and world history.

Eventually, my time came. I approached him, asking if there was another way to go about my sentence. By then, I had already accepted my fate, but being sacrificed to a god while conscious was a really scary thing in this world. My well-mannered handler offered me an alternative: a way to go out on my own terms.

From his personal collection, he presented me with a collector’s item—a 1911 pistol once owned by Howard Hughes, complete with engravings and everything. The Englishman explained that the goddess only needed my body, not my soul, so it was perfectly fine if I was already dead when the sacrifice happened. Pressing the business end of the .45 against my temple, I pulled the trigger. The gun misfired - all according to general dream laws regarding firearm use - but after another attempt, I was done. I felt my body hit the floor.

But that wasn’t the end.

I was immediately reincarnated. From white boy to asian. I manifested as a full-grown adult, like I had taken over someone’s body, or maybe my new form just materialized out of thin air. Not having learned a damn thing from my past life, I returned to my ways of death cult-ing while keeping my identity extra hidden, because i wasn't just this world's Hitler, i was this world's second incarnation of Hitler.

I remember going on a solo rampage on a highway, wearing a traditional skin outfit and a headpiece made from the top half of a human skull, modified with demonic-like horns.

Then I snapped out of it, almsot like my dark lord’s grip on me was slipping. I reformed. Details get blurry, but I remember enlisting to help at an archaeology dig site, uncovering an ancient cache of lost technology from before Judgment Day.

On May 14th 2012 I had my first induced lucid dream, exactly seven days after I had discovered lucid dreaming and began researching it. Today is my seventh day since returning to lucid dreaming, and I wish I could say I had a positive experience after my first week back. However, today was a nightmare as I attempted and failed a WBTB. I woke up 4 hours after I had fallen asleep, scribbled down today's dreams, and then went back to bed 30 minutes later. Whatever I did this morning absolutely killed my recall, but at least I managed to pull something from it

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I started off in a massive outdoor gymnasium, with huge slanted trampolines connecting to large foam pits. It was dark, and the only sources of light were the dim lights surrounding the area. There seemed to be a competition going on between two school friends - one of which was Tom, but not from the previous dream. I decided to go into the entrance of the forest outside my house, which was nearby this outdoor gymnasium. I spoke to my friend Reece about the poor performance of the contestants in the competition, After finishing the brief conversation with Reece, I walked up to a nearby house - it was still dark outside, and the house seemed to be abandoned but in good condition, albeit a little untidy. I walked through the front door, which was open when I arrived, and looked up the stairs that were immediately viewable from the porch. There was a dim light on at the top of the stairs, and suddenly a beautiful, older Asian woman appeared at the top of the stairs, wearing a silky, white night dress. Although she had long black hair, she was too old to be the girl from the previous dreams. She seemed to be struggling with something, so I offered to help her by carrying her empty bin outside for her. She seemed thankful, then I woke up to my alarm

This is all I could remember, all of which came from the 15 minutes or so of REM sleep that I had before my alarm went off. The construction outside started earlier than usual so it made it very difficult to get back to sleep to perform the WBTB. Perhaps this is why my recall was so terrible, as the dreams should have been much more vivid at that point, but unfortunately I couldn't remember anything when I woke up from the second half of my sleep

Recurring elements:
-School
-Local forest

Notes:
-Went to bed at 2:50am and set an alarm for 7am. I got up shortly after, which gave me about 15-20 minutes of REM sleep and enough to extract a few dream fragments for today's entry. I went back to sleep at 7:30am, performed some unsuccessful mantras and woke up at 12pm with nothing to extract
-Although the dreams at 7am were fresh, I wouldn't consider them vivid
-I will not try WBTB again until the construction is finished

Unfortunately, my excellent recall from yesterday didn't quite continue, but I managed to get enough to fill over half an A4 page in notes. I'm starting to think these poor recall attempts are challenges that will benefit me and really exercise my brain in the morning. Perhaps they are a blessing in disguise, and I'll go further in a shorter amount of time with such intense recall attempts each morning

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

The earliest moment I could recall was taking the bus from a road just outside my house, yet again stressing about arriving on time. Upon arriving at my destination, seemingly after a fade-to-black teleport, I began a fashion class and was seated next to a girl with long black hair. She seemed to be the same girl from the first dream of this series, only her aura was more confident and a little intimidating due to her beauty. She also had more makeup on, which I suppose is fitting for a class about fashion. I'd like to think she resembles a Chinese girl my friends didn't get along with, they called her 绿茶, or "Green Tea Bitch". Once the class ended, I took a bus into the local village nearby to buy some snacks. I never actually entered the shop, and in retrospect, I realize now that the shop was in the wrong location compared to IRL. My dad came to pick me up from the village, and he took me back to where the class was held, only now it was a chef-related job. I had to work with my dad and some teenaged guy, who I was furious at and almost started a fight with. I hated the way he acted, but the details are blank. I got too frustrated to stay in this kitchen/classroom hybrid, so I left back to the village again, only this time my friend Louis was waiting to pick me up in his car. I got in, and we travelled down a short road before I suggested we turn right into a car park, but he mentioned that it's no longer free to park there, so we turn left instead. Louis suddenly decided to make an extremely unsafe left turn in the middle of the road, almost crashing into a black car with an older man inside. The man was furious, but I tried to calm him down with an apologetic gesture through the window. Louis finally continued to drive and take a right turn on to a main road, as the dream began fading into a lost fragment or the end of my sleep cycle

I vaguely remember a fragment of a dream where I talked about Pokemon in a dark, ground floor office lobby. It could fit right after the fashion class, as I believe the person I was talking to was a black haired girl

After 30 minutes of fighting against the yet again continuing construction in the morning, I managed to pull together these fragments and stitch them into what feels like a chronological order. I went out in the afternoon after writing my notes down, and made sure to do many reality checks during my bus journey, which seems to be a common dream element for me now

Recurring elements:
-School
-Family, home
-Local area
-Black haired girl for the second time in a week
-Stressful bus journey on time constraints. Stress in general is common it seems
-Getting angry at someone for the second time

Notes:
-Fell asleep just before 2am and woke up at 9:30, began intense recall at 9:50 and was done by 10:30
-Dreams were not very vivid, but good effort at recall has stuck them in my brain

Lots of dreams. not a lot of time to type. I go back to stettler tomorrow for 10 hour shifts. I have wed and thurs off. week off every 3rd week.

Lucid

Vague, low level lucid. I was in a building with lots of people. I seemed to waste time telling them it's a dream. I don't know why I keep doing that. Lucids are frustrating. They are too short for me. Attempts to stabilize seem to make it worse.

dad

Dream where my dad was sleeping somewhere strange but wanted a hug before bed. I obliged.

food twist

I was in my kitchen serving some spaghetti. I dug down in the bowl it was in but underneath was mac and cheese... ok strange combo. I once ate a burger restaurant that had a mac and cheese burger. I literally had to try it. It was interesting but good.

Jamie break up

I woke up in the middle of the night. The jamie voice kept saying she wants to break up. (We both seem to get voices like that, upon waking. We just push through and ignore them. A simple prayer about voices in my head seems to make it stop.) The voice transitioned to a dream. Jamie was holding a blue ATM card, presumably from ATB and said that we were breaking up. She was trying to bend the card until it broke.

Next dreams seemed to indicate whatever was wrong had been solved somehow.

Kittens

I had a FA. In my room were lots of different kittens wandering in and out of my room. One had a really flat face. Others were of the same color. I noticed a baby skunk. I turned away. A woman's voice said it was cute. I looked and saw the skunk run away. The woman had brown hair. I felt it was somehow both Jamie and Asuka merged into one. I said to keep it away from my dog. He's already been skunked twice...

Construction

I was in a big place under construction. The layout made no sense. Young people 16-20s were working there. There was a bridge by a tricky stairwell... I left and went back to it but the people made the bridge into something else... Very hard to describe dream.

Serpents or dragons. Jamie?

I was a giant flying thing. like a flying dragon or serpent. (Very rarely dream about this form.) There were other beings around kind of like me but different. We were playing a game or something. by an ocean ther was a large cave with something inside. I was to collect what was in the cave and bring it back somewhere. The other flying dragon things were supposed to stop me. I went right under the water and waited for one to fly past the cave and away a distance. It seemed to but before I could move. It latched onto me from above. It was gentle, not harmful or threatening. We flew out of the water. I got up above it and playfully held it. It looked at me and smiled. The being had very light grey eyes that seemed familiar. I said, "Oh I could never harm you. you are so friendly." or something.

After thinking I think it was Jamie. That means she was in a dragon flying form in dreams as well?

Pillar

some weird dream about me and some woman building a pillar with metal or something. Not sure exactly what was going on.

This morning was my biggest challenge since starting my new dream journal. The construction outside continues to be as loud as possible at the worst possible time. I could only recall 3 small fragments in half an hour of trying to relax during the barrage of saws outside, and then an important parcel arrived which forced me out of bed to sign for it...

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I believe the earliest fragment, and last to recall, was me in a house at night, but that's it. I also recall visiting my sister and her partner in their house, to help them fix the wifi. For some reason, I had a pod of some black liquid that I accidentally spilled on the couch, but was told it doesn't matter. Fast forward a short amount of time, I was in my own house, upstairs, working in the loft. My sister was driving a small crane, carrying large logs and planks up the stairs for me to put inside the loft and create a bridge. The rest is unfortunately lost

Again, this is worst day so far, with each day seemingly getting worse as far as recall goes. Hopefully the construction stops soon, so that I have enough time and focus to pick up more fragments and make something worthwhile out of them. Since my recall hasn't been great, I've decided to write down everything, no matter how uninteresting, or how small. Speaking of small, I have an image in my head of a blue sky and a large building, but it feels more like deja vu than a dream fragment. I am confident that the night time house was part of a dream, but this image could not be

Recurring dream elements:
-Family, home

Notes:
-Slept at 1:40am, woke up at 9:30am and recalled until 10am. 7 hours is typically the best amount of sleep for me
-Tried mantras, but not for long enough as I got distracted before falling asleep suddenly. Will continue to try and form a good habit
-I typed up yesterday's dream 12 hours after writing the notes, hoping it would impact me positively, but this morning was so bad that it's hard to know if it did anything

me and my sister were at a fair or some kind of park

This is my first lucid dream in a few years, and decided to retroactively add it to my journal since I still remember it, but never wrote it down.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I was somewhere outside, I don't remember the events leading up to it, but I suddenly had the urge to do a reality check. My first call is to check my palms, which often leads to a huge burst of lucidity regardless of the success of the RC itself. However, in this case, the success of the RC was the sole reason, given my left hand now had 7 wavy fingers.. That familiar feeling of lucidity rushed in, and upon looking up and away from my wavy hands, I now found myself inside, in a corridor of a dimly lit house, surrounded by faceless mannequins. Usually, dream characters vanish instantly upon attaining lucidity, but this was a rare exception for me. My first thought was to remain calm, but given that it was my first LD in many years, and came totally out of nowhere, I failed to remember to perform the right stability techniques. I glanced at the mannequins, which were bent over, almost on all fours as if they were posing for an art piece or waiting to pounce on me the moment I looked away. Shortly after, I lost lucidity and either woke up or faded back into a regular dream.

This dream was totally natural, and came from an afternoon nap, which makes total sense given that I only got 5 hours of sleep during the night, and my REM cycle typically begins around 4.5 hours. Going back to bed under these conditions gives me extremely vivid dreams, and I suppose I can owe this to becoming lucid

Recurring dream elements:
-School? I think this is where the outside location was prior to the reality check
-Edit: My previous lucid dream 4 years prior also contained mannequins. Worth keeping in mind

Notes:
-This is the only LD I've had where dream characters didn't immediately vanish upon becoming lucid. It's much more interesting

My second dream since restarting a dream journal. I had a lot of trouble recalling this one, and almost gave up, but I managed to stitch together enough fragments

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

The dream seemed to begin on a dark, destroyed map from The Headliners, which gameplay elements from Monster Hunter. I somehow ended up in an office, talking to Herman Li (of DragonForce) about his upcoming tour. He suggested that I buy tickets online, and receive one ticket for a US show, and one for Japan for some reason. I agreed, and decided to head to the local supermarket for some snacks to take with me. I came across what looked like an energy drink in a hard plastic bottle, which was themed around the bugs in Monster Hunter. I revisited this shelf to buy several of the same drink. I then ended up in my Grandmother's old house from when I was a child, but I don't remember much here. I went back to the supermarket one last time, and found there was no stock of the drink I had bought multiple times. Instead, there was one drink on the shelf, also from the Monster Hunter theme, called "Flash Phosphor". I picked it up, and a woman behind me got angry that I had taken the final one, but I ignored her entirely and went off to pay at the self-checkout. I went back out to the destroyed road, where it was dark and quiet. I turn around, and I realize I am being followed by two Jawa-like creature, but they are not harmful. Suddenly, two hideous women on Seikrets from Monster Hunter ride out past me. I seemed to assume they were from Final Fantasy, and was annoyed at how terrible the character designs of the franchise had become. They were shaved bald, obese and covered in tattoos. I continued down the dark road, and came across an eerie reception, where I could see small creatures similar to the Jawas from before, only they now resembled small, sad robots. They were completely lifeless, sitting in place with a sad expression.

Hopefully tomorrow is more vivid

Recurring dream elements:
-Monster Hunter, twice in a row now
-The Headliners, a game I've been playing daily with my friends. I will perform reality checks on both games now
-Local supermarket, visited IRL yesterday

Notes:
-Recall was very difficult and dreams were not vivid

A half demolished home. An Ordway-type figure dances amongst the rubble. Matriarch questions why I care about her dancing, I say she's beautiful.. Melody P comes to the door as I'm lying there in the half demolished home. She's looking for matriarch. I lie back down, relishing the last few moments before the home is completely gone. My vacating there is a combination of recently leaving my South Pasadena apartment, and the destruction of my old family home. 10 years apart but one and the same, in this moment.

A second scenario. I'm in a cubicle farm, many people clogged together. It's dusk, remnants of sunset still linger. There is talk of some UFO or weaponry overhead in the night sky, but the talk is light. In a different room, a terminal emulator is portrayed on a large projector screen. It doesn't at first register to me that it's the same one we use at work, and because of that I find it more interesting and modern. Then I realize it's the same and the fascination fades.

My school bus took me to my middle school and the memories started flooding (not actual memories from middle school but memories from other dreams) i went inside and i went into a classroom and people were getting these weird gummy/ fruit snack things and they looked really good so i asked where they got them and one kid walked with me to show me where to get them and i see a few teachers that i know in real life and we are suprised to see each other but then i walk into the room where the gummies came from and saw that i had to pay for them so i was like never mind so then i leave and come back to the classroom and i get on the bus and there is this girl i see and lets me read a journal that she had then that was the end


and this is a side note in one of my dreams i don't remember if it was this one or a different one but i was telling myself that if i was in a dream that some peoples heads would be weirdly shaped but i think i noticed peoples heads were weirdly shaped it almost looked like they had some kind of tumor on the back of their neck but anyway i think i got lucid i've been watching videos on how to lucid dream and i guess thats why i told myself that in a dream but knowing it was a dream gave me an eerie feeling