lucid

I have an FA, I turn my head slightly to the corner of the window. The window was cold enough to have words written on it by someone. It stated why do you feel sleep? I began to rise my head up and my hands accidentally felt like it was touching a keyboard. I couldn't tell as all the lights were off. Suddenly I could feel something grabbing a hold of my body. I quickly realize I must be dreaming but once again it resulted in to another FA. I find myself waking up with no lights but when I look at the ceiling there was the vcr timer label there. As my eyes move so does it. I thought this couldn't be right but it soon disappear leaving me only semi lucid. Walking began to feel sluggish while the environment changes in to a cartoon show. I then soon discover why as my feet and hands were cover by huge chucks of sauce. A man was yelling at me for reasons unknown. Not long after I wake up. Lucidity Time: 34 seconds.

Seems like my dream recall is getting better now that the cold and cough is almost gone for me. Thank goodness.

Dream 1

Can't remember but it was really short.

Dream 2

-I was supposedly inside my house, with a few other people around,(It looked like my house but somewhat different) and i found my white parakeet Marisol in a bag with a new notebook. I felt like i had put her there but forgot. When I opened the bag more she tried to fly out but i quickly closed it hoping i could find a way to put her in her cage safely. However, I was even more afraid of hurting her so instead i reopened the bag and tried to hold her. I think she was bleeding a little when i put her back in the cage with a few other parakeets present in the cage. Wondering how she got hurt i started to check her adorable little feet but didn't find anything. So I decided to leave her alone and to go somewhere else.



-I was inside a school with lots of kids around me. It felt like i was visiting this school to see how things were when i was younger. We were inside a theater in the school about to watch the lion king but something happened that interrupted the calm flow of things. One of the students ran to chase one of the other students in a violent manner. I and some other students ran to try and stop the fight we thought would occur. But as soon as I started running into the halls than up the stairs i lost the other students and managed to go all the way up to the 13th and 16th floor than ran back down again. I stopped in a hallways filled with students who kept talking and not listening to the teacher/principal trying to get her students to listen to them. I started to name the students sitting nice and quiet and soon the rest started to follow. Everything was now calm and that's when I remembered...."I forgot to eat lunch!!"

I started thinking about how my first reason for coming here was to try the school lunch food.I ran as quickly as i could through the halls hoping lunch wasn't over. When I got to the lunchroom I saw students in line and suddenly started feeling like i was one of them. I skipped to the front of the line telling the lunch lady i was supposed to come in last period but couldn't. She didn't seem to care so she told me to leave. But i said "I'm soooooooo hungry!!" and suddnely she let me in. The line started to move and i took a fruit cup. But the fruits were weird looking. They were small peaches but had a little white stuff on them."Eww...."I thought. A girl in front of me than turned and told me to stare at the grapes and peaches in her cup for a while. I stared at it thinking how lucky she was that she grabbed more better looking grapes and peaches.Than I took some more fruit. After that we kept walking.



-AS we kept walking we ended up in the city and it looked sort of foggy. There were lots of people walking around. But than i stopped and remembered i forgot to take pizza from the school lunch line.I asked a girl walking with me if she could buy me pizza since i left my money at home. She said okay but as we were walking a guy came up to us. He said Hi to me and I said hi but than he said there was a huge scar on my face. I covered my face and told him not to look at me. As we kept walking I he left and now i was with two girls talking about what to do. Out of no where though three really tall girls came behind us and claimed to be California bad girls. They than started to shoot small missiles at us. One of the girls with me shouted "Duck!!Stay on the ground!!" so that's what i did.When it missed we ran to the other street but fell down to try and duck other missiles.Cars started spinning out of control in the streets. I started to notice snow in the streets and thought about how crazy it was that we had to do this in the cold too.After that i ran away and ended up inside a room.



The leader of the California bad girls was a middle aged man who had the power to teleport and use mind control. He appeared before me in the room and sounded weird.I asked him if he was a trans sexual person. He laughed at me and said no. I continued to taunt him though than tried to escape.

I ended up in a huge mall and tried to contact the girls to tell them who the leader of the California bad girls were.I think i managed to let them know than ended up inside a obstacle course or play area inside the mall filled with families playing together. I went under a net thing and thought that maybe this would be fun to do for a bit. But there were too many people so i changed my mind, A boy threw a ball and i caught it than bounced it on the floor. It seemed so real so i threw it back at him and still didn't realize i was dreaming. As I was trying to leave i got stuck on the net and tried pushing myself out. I got out and suddenly a boy started saying "IF you see Axel don't look him in his red eyes. Two, don't run and scream for help or he'll slice you up.Three. If you can't do anything get the heck out of there." Pictures of a scene with a dark character in a dark place appeared as he was saying it. It stopped after he was done talking though.

I continued to walk thinking how i would have screamed and ran if i saw Axel and probably would get my self killed.But than a little boy i know suddenly came up to me and said i was beautiful and how he wanted to be married with me.He than gave me a dandelion and said the beautiful flowers were for me. I thanked him happily and said something along the lines of him finding a nice girl his age when he grows up. Than got up and walked away. Woke up after that.

Dream 3

I was doing something i can't recall.I became lucid though when the trouble started.I looked out the windows to make sure i and others were safe but it seemed like the darkness was drawing nearer. As we were trying to figure out a way to destroy the enemy someone suggested alchemy be used. Although it took like two or five years to get good at it.I ended up seeing Riza Hawkeye somewhere but ignored her appearance.After something happened the place became calm and empty. I opened the door to try and leave but than a gust of smoke appeared.I didn't think it was a good idea to go outside anymore and tried to appear somewhere else.



I ended up in a huge pastier filled with nature all around me. It felt like it was a bit after sunset. I saw a decorated white thing that looked familair. But didn't go any closer cause i was afraid to explore in that area. Flying in the different direction I spotted a tan horse with a spot on it and flew on top of it. Riding it was fun but than it stopped in front of a transparent guy sitting on a bench and layed down in a curled up position like a dog. I was disappointed the ride was over so soon but was curious about the other character now. But than i woke up.

(The horse looked like this but had no riding equipment on)

Dream 4

Someone was describing a plateau called the princess plateau to me. Saying its rocky but smooth on the top and located on a small island.

I really can’t remember what made me go lucid in this one, this dream happened in the middle of the night and I felt that this lucid was going on for a long time, I kept thinking wow I have been lucid for a long time. Now that I am thinking about it I do remember showing someone (maybe my brother) that I could move stuff without touching it, I was rolling a ball on the floor back and forth and did some other things. I spent a majority of the dream practicing telekinesis and a lot of it with water. I was trying to manipulate water smoothly and not in just splashes. I tried this for quite some time. I was at home or a house initially and remember a back porch or greenhouse type thing at the end, it was daytime. I finished doing what I was doing with water and for some reason I wanted to fly and go somewhere else, my dream mind came up with the idea that I wanted to go to an amusement park. I had never developed a scene by turning around so I tried this, I pictured the place I wanted to go and when I turned around I hoped it would be there. When I turned I saw a type of amusement park in the distance. I flew over to it but it was more like a kiddy amusement park with small rides. I then kept thinking about a larger amusement park while I was flying and I think the rides got bigger. For some reason I focused on trying to find a girl in a bikini. I got to some female DC and when I got there I woke. There was a lot more detail to the dream and it was much much longer but that is all I have for now.

24-min focus on breathing meditation during the evening
bedtime: 20 breaths, followed probably by at least 30 minute intention setting, visualization, dream sign review, and pep-talk before bed. Hard to sleep, I'm so worked up. Take 2mg melatonin

I'm pretty sure I had earlier dreams before the epic, but the epic clobbered them

+ epic futuristic adventure: tram ride, guy takes my seat; real virtual reality system with 2 friends; "the meadows": floating castle in the sky is closing down for security alarm; poison attack, can I drink from this glass?; blasting bed with bazooka; DeForest Kelley acting presentation, he's doing a great job for such an old guy; dinner with the president: 2-foot long juicy BBQ beef sandwiches, large pitcher of fresh fig juice [how long did that take to squeeze!?]; heading towards "The Meadows", travel agency "cream colored cubic building in a fancy mall", attacked by thugs; conflict outside of building: the elders have "saved" aside us young people from the battle in order to rebuild the empire later

(The order of the scenes may be somewhat jumbled, there were so many)

tram: I'm riding a tram/train (to "the Meadows?"), it stops and the doors open, and voice says we must disembark and get back on. I do this, and when I return there's a guy/guys sitting in my seat. I'm confused, I'm looking at the seats relative to the door to see which one was mine. A bit frustrated I plop down in a free seat with an audible, annoyed "Humph!". A guy offers me the seat back, I say it doesn't matter.

real virtual reality: I sit down into a large "captains chair" (like Star trek), in a large room I'm with 2 friends, they're also sitting in identical chairs, both to my right, one a few feet away one about 15 feet away. I see that the system is engaging: VR masks/goggles are closing on my friend's faces. I sit in my chair and wait for my awareness to be sucked in to the system, because this is a "real" system where your mind is projected into a system. I feel my arms on the chair and try to make them comfortable, I think when my awareness is returned to my body I'll feel this chair again. Then I feel that my awareness is launched forwards plunging through a void, I keep waiting to emerge in the VR world but never arrive.

"The Meadows": I'm outdoors, I glance up into the sky, there is a huge floating technological looking castle/mansion there. There are security doors sliding shut all over the castle closing over openings, the building seems to be in a state of high alert/emergency.

I'm in a group of people outdoors. Someone arrives with a spray bottle/thing and begins spraying poison on people who immediately die. I'm far enough away from it (I'm on the poisoning side?) that I'm not affected. I'm standing in a room later, and grab a glass which is upside down from a counter and fill it with water and wonder if this is far enough away form the poison spray to be safe. I see that there is some sort of film/dirt floating on top of the water. Someone in the room says it's better not to drink so I don't.

bazooka bed: There is some (destroyed) small room with no walls outside. There is a bed in that heap of debris that must be destroyed. I'm holding a bazooka/rocket launcher on my shoulder and trying to find a vantage point to get a good shot. I'm moving around a while trying to get a clear shot (never shoot).

DeForest Kelley: in a half-lit room, people are sitting in a semi-circle on chairs. In the middle of them is DeForest Kelley, and old man with white hair. He's a famous old actor. he's laughing and giving a monologue. I think he's doing a great job.

dinner w/president: A group of people are sitting down on two long rows of chairs that face each other (like seating in an airport boarding gate). I'm sitting next to the president. I then get on a chair in-between the long rows and scoot away from and back to near the president. I make room next to the president because the #2 in command has arrived. Besides the rows of chairs is a small table with food and drink. On the table are several really juicy & delicious-looking 2-foot-long subway sandwiches bursting with circular slices of BBQ beef. Several people return their uneaten sandwiches to the tray and take one of the awesome new sandwiches. I'm standing by the table and pick up a large glass pitcher of a drink: I look at it and pour myself a glass, I see "bits" of fruit inside, it's dark, and think it's fig juice, and think wow it probably took a long time for the cooks to squeeze that much juice out of a ton of figs.

I'm on my way to the presidential palace called "The Meadows" (the floating one?), I'm describing the local of the (travel agency?) which will plan the rest of the trip for me. I'm "remembering" the location, and I say "it's in a cubic-shaped, cream colored building, in a fancy mall". I arrive and I'm not well received until they realize I'm a friend of the president then they treat me with great respect. I'm outdoors beyond this building and a truckload of thugs jump out and we fight: I'm blasting them with energy and awesome fight moves, we engage in some banter (which I forgot).

There is a large conflict outside a large building: us young folks were "tricked" by the elders and not allowed to participate, they're saving us in case the battle is lost, so we can rebuild the empire -- (this shouldn't be too hard because we have a floating castle?)

+ searching for my room in a weird club/hotel: hot tub, jump down a level, follow signs, my room is a public porta-potty in a noisy crowded area outside, I'm outraged

I'm in an indoor/outdoor location, like a resort, I hear a young woman laughing and see there's a hot tub nearby, I move to it, I see only a guy there, there's a girl hidden by the wall of the hot tub but I don't go closer to see.

I need to find my room, the number is something like "8901". I'm on an upper level of the club, and I go to the lower level by jumping off of a ledge, holding on to a bar over my head and slowly stretching my feet down and then drop, it's only about a foot left to go so it's not hard to land. I can't find my room, I go back to the upper level and a guide points the way, I go back to the lower level and follow signs "to the garden" outside, outside there's another sign that leads through an employee and guest only entrance (a sign says so), I see some staff there doing stuff, I move on and am back outside, it's in a busy public area and quite noisy. I find my room finally and am outraged, it is a public ports-potty. I have my key in my hand and think "should I open the door?" I'm embarrassed to have such a sucky room. I do open it (the structure is a cylinder) but there's nothing there inside. Someone says "you have to go through the glass door" I don't see it, some guy "activates" it by pulling on a large lever.

+ I want to wash/rinse/brush my hair but my friends ( MK, AK, others) are lying in a tight row blocking the faucet, kid passing in a car grabs my hand holding my brush

Outdoor/daylight scene, I want to wash/rinse/brush my hair, I have a brush in my hand. I see that our friends MK and AK and others are sitting down on the ground with their backs against a fence, the faucet I need to wash my hair is blocked by my friends, I walk up and down the line to try to find a way to the faucet. A car drives by and a kid in the back seat grabs my hand with the brush in it (my left hand) through the open car window. I'm trying to claw his face/shake him by grabbing his hood but I have no strength, all I can do is just stand there. [I wake up and my wife is pulling the covers, my arm is on top of the covers and it's getting pulled along with the covers]

+ I see cousins sitting down indoors (red interiors?), move to hug KR, turns out it's my sister and mom

Indoor, half-lit, red upholstery? I pass some of my cousins who are sitting down on chairs, I don't want to talk to them. I see cousin KR standing and I know we haven't been on the best of relations but go to her, she seems very warm and we move to hug, I realize then that she's my sister and my mother is standing right there with us. Some notion of people arriving in a minivan(?).

+ wife driving, I'm observing weird building after weird building, false memory deceives me, one looks like a giant flat screen TV, one is straddling a depression and is cracking in half, I'll return to inspect it later, one at the top of the hill has a great view, sit on bench with 2 small kids climbing all over me, I explain why I'm going back to school

I'm sitting in the front passenger side of a car/minivan, my wife is driving, we're heading up in to the B hills. I see a large building to the right that I don't recognize, I think that a large area of trees has been removed and that's why it looks different, I turn my head to the right to look at the building as we drive past, it's a company building.

We then pass a strange building which is built over a little gulley, the entire building is sagging in the middle like it's collapsing into the gulley. I ask my wife to slow down as we pass so I can get a better look. I look to the right and see a large flat driveway/parking area, I resolve to return to this place and look at it more closely.

Continuing to wind up into the hills, I see a HUGE building which is REALLY strange, it is very tall (5-6 stories) but extremely thin, I say (to my kid in the back seat?) that "that place looks like a giant flat-screen TV!), I turn my head around and look behind the van at the building as we pass.

We reach an area at the top of the hills and I see a house built into the hill, they have a patio build on an upper level were they can stand and enjoy the view. I look forwards out over the vista to the water but it's hazy/foggy and can't see any details in the distance.

I'm out of the car and sitting on a bench outside. A small boy and girl are sitting with me and climbing on me and playing all around, I'm hugging them, they're related to me and I feel great affection towards them. Someone comes and sits down and I discuss why I'm going back to school, the point is "to get an education, an education helps with….getting a job, and being, … a useful person."

+ my private room is also a utility closet, another guy comes in his room plays loud music, I grab a DC and move to a corner to make out (semi?); a repeating story is told about me, a famous opera singer walking through the crowd

I have my own room in some larger structure (community center). I'm entering the room and I see that the split door (bottom part / top part) top is open, I go out to close it, and back inside my room, I realize that I share this space with the center's utility closet so maids may enter(?). In the room I see a DC (indeterminate sex), take it into my arms, and walk towards a back corner, kissing it several times, and when I arrive in the corner kiss it more deeply for a longer while.

I'm outside the room (with wife?) and a man who works there, he's going outside in just a towel, his privates are visible, he doesn't care. Another man comes in (a Russian?) sort of short and hairy, he heads into his room which is next to mine, and starts blasting some really loud music, I move to see the source it seems to be almost from within my room.

I hear some narration that repeats several times about "the huge guy who's the famous opera singer who was moving through the crowd leaving the theater, and all the people turned to look at him[me], ignoring the scene playing on the stage". The voice also makes (a snarky?) comment about me kissing that DC.

+ (FA, LD #101) lying in bed listening to loud water rush through pipes in the walls, bed ejects me, get lucid, climb out window, look for girl, find one, undress her, count to 5 to calm down, wake up on "..3…"

I wake up in bed looking up at the ceiling in a white walled room and hear a strong flow of water like moving through pipes, I look up and "follow" the progress of the water through the pipes with my eyes, along the corner of the room and then the corner of the wall with the ceiling. I expect the water to burst through the ceiling at any moment. Right then, my bed heaves itself up from the head end and I'm ejected out on to the floor. As the bed lifts up I realize this is a dream, and I'm thankful for having such an easy-to-spot FA. I realize this is a dream again because my "body" has no pains in it whatsoever. I hear something outside, and jump out the window. Outside is very bright daylight and there are lots of colorful things all over the place, I'm on the side of a house. I continue around the corner and pick up a male DC with a sort of moon face and will him to become a hot girl, or for a girl to appear. I then see a bunch of girls seated on a bench a bit farther on in the garden and move towards them, pick one, undress her (take off her top?) and then count to 5 to calm my self before engaging, and I start "1….2….3... … then I wake up! Ah crap!

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

Dream - Desert with ghost woman
Before become lucid I remember that I was driving to a house in a dusty kind of Australian outbacks scenery... I think I might have been dropping someone off, but I became lucid as I left the place, and somehow I'm no longer in the car (which I don't notice at the time). My reaction is dulled, and my realization to the lucidity is weak at best which is likely why it was quite stable and calm. Some kind of thing approaches me but I can't remember this part at all, I only remember dismissing it from my mind during the dream to get rid of it (hence why I probably can't even remember it, good job me ). I seem to walk around the environment for a little longer until a grey-skinned skeletal woman appeared. (my first impression was an anorexic black woman, but the more I think about the less I feel it looked like that). She kind of floated about, and the whole thing made me uneasy, but since I knew it was a dream I tried to dismiss it. This time it didn't go so well... I was trying to dissolve the spectre but nothing was happening . Progressing to a more panicked state I realize there's a wooden pole in my hand and she's on the opposite side of a fence now, I wack at her over and over but the stick just goes through her. She floats through the fence towards me, and now I try something unthinkably weird... Like I would never do this kind of weird O_O I try to transform her into an actual woman, reforming her image (since this felt so low-level I don't think I really had much going on in terms of thought processes, like there was no filter). I get behind her a get closer, she's got tanned-dark skin now and I try to make her breasts bigger (jesus should I be writing this...) The next thing was to kind of humanize her and turn her on or something, I get quite a bit of success but 10 seconds from starting this whole approach I ended up waking up.

1. I was in a room with a group of friends I knew really well. This room had a purple lighting to it. All of the walls in this room really looked to have a purple glow to them. In front of me there was a small white round table. Me and all of my friends stood around this table. I looked down at the table and there is a white powder on it. "Are you ready for this guys?" One of my friends said. My friend Alex then bent down, covered one of his nostrils, and snorted the white substance. I knew then that this was cocaine that I was dealing with.
Since this was all in the moment and all of my friends were with me, I had a strong feeling to just try the drug once(I would never do it in waking life). I bent down at the table, covered my left nostril, and snorted the cocaine. I immediately felt the effects as it entered into my system. I felt a jolt of strong energy and a sense that I could do anything. It was like an energy drink times 1,000. My other friends all snorted some. After that we all went in for round two. Soon enough it was my turn again. I bent down at the table and did as I did before.
Now I felt an even stronger surge of energy go through me, and I felt even more powerful than before. I stood up again and told whoever was next to me that he could have the rest of my hit. At this point I think I become lucid. I have a strong sense of awareness now due to this drug that I took and I become so focused that I realize that I am dreaming. The last thing I remember is walking out of the room and leaving my friends to do something.
(I am not going to count this as a lucid since I only remember a moment of it.)
2. I was in the living room of my house. Everything seemed pretty normal. I had the same furniture and hardwood floor. I was sitting down on my green couch next to a guy named Ernie. I knew him from a party I went to from a few weeks ago. When I saw him then, he was tripping on LSD. I looked around the room and noticed that there were alot of other people, and girls my age that I did not know. It was like there was a party going on in my house.
Suddenly everyone chills out and sits down. Ernie starts talking about an essay he had to take to pass highschool, and that I was going to have to take this essay soon. Everyone looked at him with a deep interest, as if he was letting some sort of secret out. "Ernie, how hard was this essay?" I asked. "Pretty hard" he said, "Actually it's not that hard". I was left pretty confused with this statement. He continued on talking about the essay itself and how much time it took to write it and such.

Decided to take a nap in the living room while Chris was on xbox in the same room. So I'd drift in and out, but I never moved nor opened my eyes. It was weird, it felt like it would have taken effort to open my eyes fully, but I could hear Chris's voice the ENTIRE time.

Anyway, so the 4th or 5th time I felt like I was asleep, but still on the couch, I decided to stand up and walk to the front door. I couldn't get to where I could see very well, but I knew the front door was only a few feet from the couch, so I just kinda felt my way there. Plus I could hear Chris as if from my right hear, hollering at the xbox, so I knew I was going the right direction. I opened the front door, half wondering if Chris would notice. But he didn't, so I was more sure that I was dreaming. I even waved my hands in front of my closed/blind eyes, and could see a little bit.

I walked down the sidewalk, towards the mailbox (which I couldn't see yet and which doesn't exist irl anyway, because we have those stupid group mailboxes on every block like they do now in alot of neighborhoods). I was thinking of the valentine card totm. I got to the end of the sidewalk, fully expecting to feel for a mailbox, blind or not, when I got some vision back. It was super sunny. I looked all directions but saw nothing, then when I turned around, I couldn't see any houses at all lol. Then I turned around again, and saw a little house that could count as mine. So I walked up to the porch and had a hard time seeing again. I felt along the wall by the door, thinking to myself "I know that mailbox is right about HERE" and then I found one of those little mailboxes that you hang on the wall. I reached inside and felt a few things in a stack. The first was a letter and the rest were poofy pink and red heart stickers. On the outside of the letter, it was written in pencil and clearly a child's handwriting. It was alot of letters, but it didn't make up any words. I opened it and inside was a little valentine cartoon comic. The first frame was a purple hippo, pointing to the right. The caption underneath said "The shortest time pointing ever!" The last frame was a pink dog with little red hearts all around his head, like he was in love with the purple hippo or something. Then it said "Happy Valentine's Day," but no signature.

Then I felt myself on the couch, and decided to force my eyes open for real. The second I did that, the dogs that were sleeping on me irl jumped off me and started barking at the door, because FedX had dropped off a letter haha! It's not valentine's though. But the weird thing too was: the door was open O_O And I'm pretty sure I closed it before I took my nap. I asked Chris but he doesn't notice anything when he's on xbox.

And I could hear his voice, the entire time. Really interesting lucid for me. I feel almost like it kept me TOO grounded irl, and maybe that's why I couldn't see well, idk if related.

2/23/15 Cool amusement park attraction where everyone is standing in the room and the room starts falling apart and there's a big elephant like creature that comes crashing down from the ceiling. I'm not afraid but it seems to be more because I feel I'm in an amusement park attraction although I do remember thinking in a dream like way that it would be cool to explore this place. As we exit there's confusing directions about which way to go and we almost get back into the same line but then get the corrected directions exiting properly and we end up at a school where a bunch of kids are getting ready to leave loading into school buses, like elementary age 2nd or 3rd grade probably and almost all of them are wearing white sheet ghost costumes old-fashioned pretty cool but didn't seem to wake me up within the dream.


* after wake back to bed and drifting off, at some point I notice vibrations and I notice they are fairly strong and I'm confident about heading straight into a dream. They fade but I stay calm and patient and find myself sitting up on a big square bed and my son in a younger version just sitting on the bed also but I have no confusion over whether or not this is dream. I jump out of bed and start looking for Girl Friday. During wake back to bed I was thinking about her and how I last saw her provocatively giving a clear view up her skirt. I go around the corner expecting her to be there but nothing. I'm now all alone. I keep saying: well she will be around the next corner or the next corner. It is not working so I decided to just explore. I find this huge set of figurines - small, smaller than Star Wars figures for example and they're all plastic not unlike little green non-articulating army men but each one colored differently with different colored clothes etc and I picked the one that would look most like Girl Friday and try to convert it into her. I think about CanisLucidus or was it NyxCC's focus of keeping the eyes moving and not fixed and I intentionally move them around while I observe the figurines. Perhaps just thinking of a stabilization technique may have done me in or I may have been at the end of an REM cycle. I woke up maybe around 4-something?. #284


* after my wife left I'm tossing and turning a little bit in bed trying to get comfortable and I decide to try the reverse eye blink that someone mentioned using successfully. Basically just opening your eyes for an instant and closing them super quick. It may have helped here, I'm not sure. The thought is that it could work to help to go back in to sleep more quickly with awareness somewhat intact and get back to dreaming more quickly as well. The next thing I remember I am in a non lucid dream and this guy is sitting across from me in a classroom and he says the word "lucid." At first my excitement is just in the idea that maybe I found someone to talk about lucid dreams with. I asked him if he has "heard of lucid dreams? You can do An-y-thing you want!" He starts to look at me like a lot of people do when you talk about dreams but my awareness is rising and I start to notice the fluid nature of the visuals at first saying to myself this could be a dream...but quickly realizing this is a dream! I decide to explore outside of the room into the hall. I seem to be in a school with 20-something year old DC's , it is a college.

There are so many DC's and I am passing so many beautiful women! There are redheads, blondes and brunettes. As they pass I notice the wispy nature of the visuals like a stream of colors behind the ones I focus on at least. I see a beautiful brunette that looks quite a bit like this:

with less makeup but similar complexion. I reach out to embrace her and at first she looks at me like "do I know you?" I look at her passionately and she starts to look back in kind! We start kissing there in the busy hallway up against the wall with DC's passing left and right. Like my last sexual exploration I decide to take it slow and enjoy every moment. She is wearing a creamy pink long sleeve cardigan which I slowly unbutton, one button at a time. I slowly sweep my hands over her shoulders and down her arms removing the cardigan and caressing her back and her beautiful soft skin. I unclasp her bra which has the clasp in the front and sweep it back over her shoulders and down her arms caressing her skin on the way down. This is so incredibly sensual. I softly

Spoiler for sexual content:

kiss her breasts which are perfectly shaped and perky and they feel so wonderful in my hands and on my lips and tongue.

The visuals fade a little in and out at this point but I can still feel the experience especially and I reach down into her pants and I feel her underwear which is silky. It reminds me of my wife's underwear she's wearing this very night and I look up for some visuals of the face and now she looks a little more like my wife. I reach around the front of the underwear to inspect them further and I find that instead of the embroidery on the front it is silky smooth front and back , so it is definitely different and I'm not somehow interacting with my wife in bed right now. The visuals are now fully back but somehow we have ended up outside the school in the parking lot going at it against one of the parked cars. I unbutton her pants and

Spoiler for sexual content:

slide my hands down over her buttocks slipping her pants and underwear down to about her knees

a little more quickly now. We are now getting the attention of two security guards or police officers. I don't want them to mess up this steamy moment and I think perhaps they'll just walk on past but I keep my eyes on them just in case I need to keep them from interfering. I think that I can use my time stopwatch that will be in my hand when needed, to freeze them if I need to. They both lock eyes on me and are heading towards me and getting closer. I try my time freezing stopwatch twice in quick sucession (freeze then unfreeze perhaps?) but it does not stop them and I instead shoot them both with my finger guns and they both collapse to the ground. I turn my attention back towards the beauty and we are

Spoiler for sexual content:

both naked and having intercourse

up against the car on a beautiful day...the visuals are holding up. Suddenly the larger stocky officer, the black officer, pushes himself up on one knee and calls for help and I look over towards the school and there are a line of officers walking towards the front door of the school, probably about 6 or 8 of them. When he calls out to them I decide it's time to take my damsel and fly up into the sky away from all this potential interference. I hold her in my left arm extend my right arm Superman style and float up about 20 yards into the air looking back down towards the officers and taking a few shots for fun since this is all a dream anyway. It doesn't seem like I hit any of them and we swoop past a few trees and higher up into the air and the visuals start fading again. Not long after, I feel myself back in bed exhilarated to have the experience I just had and I start going over the details from beginning to end in my mind while thinking about whether or not I should try to go back in and I decide I'm probably too much awake to go back in quickly at this point and I want to remember as many details as possible. After laying still recalling for a little while, I get up a little earlier than normal for the day just about 15 minutes...but I went to bed early and I feel very rested and smiling broadly at the experience I just had and I decide to start recording my dreams from the latter half of the night. #285


Yesterday I had a stronger than normal sense of "Dang was I asleep just then! (IWL)..and now I am really awake (aware)!" at a random moment when I was just sitting on the couch. Between that and the reverse eye blink and the apple juice, they may have assisted with two lucids tonight including that second wonderful one!

2/21/15 awesome trip to Sweden and returned two more times intentionally in the next two dreams. Non lucid I'd say...but awesome!

2/19/15 No.283 Mustard or intention for vividness!? Image+rc many times at wbtb. 1015? 340(~5hrs25) wbtb then toss and turn. Wake from LD ~605.

Awesome escape from lab dream before wbtb.

*2 women escort me to 12th floor. Why? Even when i worked here i didn't know anyone on 12th. Where are my department remnants now? 1st floor! Pass locked fridge wondering if free sodas there and then come to an open cool box shaped like a square freezer box but no lid and full of bottled drinks but large like wine and champagne. Definitely dreaming! I float a little and think about phasing through the big window out to the beautiful city night scene but the scene fades and I instead shortly after find myself standing in a classroom full of college aged people looking like they're all getting up to leave the classroom or just got there standing not sitting. I am near a cute one and I turn her around to face me still fully aware I'm dreaming and I start to kiss her. She looks vaguely familiar...like a thin sexy version of D from my favorite job so far. She seems reluctant at first but I convince her this is what she wants and she is now going along with it. I physically pull off her clothes one item at a time, no need to rush.

Spoiler for sexual content:

I first take off her top and then her bra and then her pants. I take off my clothes all in one quick dream swoop.

As I am caressing her body I remember one of my priority goals to ask a specific question of my subconscious and I asked the question just using my mind and then think about saying it out loud but while I'm paused doing this and focusing on this I seem to cause the dream to end or possibly I was just at the end of my REM cycle. Wake from ~605 #283

[DILD] ToTM

Warm evening. Sun gave ererything a bright orange glow. I was in Warsaw. I was waiting on a bus stop. The bus appeared and I went inside. I took off my sweater, as it was really hot. I grabbed the handrails as there were no free sitting places, and the bus drove. Suddenly I realise that it's a dream. As an RC I pressed my fingers on the handrails, and they went through the cold, yellow coloured metal. I saw a small boy walking in the bus. He was making a nose plug RC and smiling to me. I also mad a nose plug RC. Next with slight hesitation, as I was still afraid that this could be reality, I jumped, and phased through the bus's window. I landed on me stomach, on the road. Everything weas darker, but it was still warm. I looked around and saw a mother walking with her son on the sidewalk. Suddenly I saw a car driving straight into me, but it avoided me in the last moment. I somehow couldn't stand up, so I tried to scramble to the sidewalk. Then a blonde woman parked the car right in front of me. She told me that she was looking for me. Then I told her "It's not me! It was that boy! He walked over there!" She then entered the car quickly and drove after that boy. I could stand up finally, so I decided to make another task. I jumped to the rooftops, looking at the sky. It was dark, grim and overcast. I started to fly. When I was halfway to the height of clouds I focused on summoning storm clouds. They quickly covered the whole sky. I summoned the storm cloud in the air, but losing focus on flying made me unable to fly to them. I tried to land somewhere and made it. I have flewn from Warsaw to my home, in the other edge of Poland in few seconds! I landed on the rooftop of my garage. I looked down. There was my father pushing the lift. He said "Come here, and help me push the lift!" I then pointed at it with my index finger, and moved my hand to the entrance of barn. The lift moved as it was in drag-n-drop game. Father immediately went for the lift. He haven't told me where to move it, so I assumed it was right position. I looked at the sky again. The storm clouds disappeared, and the ovarcast, grim sky came back. I tried to summon the clouds again and fly to them. When I was halfway to the clouds I woke up.

My friend is a bus driver

With my friend we took a bus to the other village. We came to the front of the bus, and I saw that my another friend was a driver. We drove to my home village. I got out of the bus, but the bus stop was in the edge of a stadium, with river just behind it's edge. I went out of bus, and grabbed handrails. My friend walked through the river, as it was only ankle deep. I saw other people I saw in school, and even some classmates there. It was some kind of a party. Everyone was standing on a small hill. The slope was so high that I couldn't release the handrails, yet no other person gathered there was holding them.

Sleeping in the bathroom

I was lying on the floor in the bathroom, and trying to fall asleep. When I couldn't I saw that some clothes appeared there. I listened to a story a weird voice told about a man whose those clothes were. I stood up, and got out of the bathroom.

Some fragments

I recall some fragments, but nothing special.

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

Dream 1 - Working at the gardens
I'm going to start my new job at the gardens, which is basically like a public sanctuary for plants, quite similar to the one that I live near. My girlfriends little brother works there too apparently, he drives a scooter to get there. I commute with my dad since it's my first day, and I think I have a smoothie prepared for lunch. I also think that it may have been called the 'Tower Garden' or something... There were a few names for the place floating around in my head but that's the only one I can recall.
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A time lapse seems to happen because there's a complete scenery and situation change, I'm now in my parents house and my mum is hustling around in a hurry trying to get ready for work. I feel that it is nearly noon, and I have an itchy elbow... I look at my elbow and it has these specks of little white worms under the skin...
I try and pop them out of my skin, and with very little success I go and show my mum since she's a nurse. She goes off to find me an anti worm cream or something, and before she comes back I've switched to looking at my ankle... For some reason I feel like there is something there and I try and pop it, and OMFG ! A 1cm diameter hole oozes out this thick yellow creamy goo. Holy ****ing disgusting... I show my mum (while feeling slightly discomforted) and she gets a bit frustrated because she doesn't want to be late for work, she sighs and says "For gods sake, is it bubbly?" moving straight to a diagnostic question as she turns towards the kitchen to find more medicine.

Dream 2 - Reading in class
I'm sitting in a school classroom near the back of the room on the wall side on a simple chair and personal desk (kind of similar to an anime classroom where they have a windowed side with those single person desk + chair setups). I'm lucid from the start, and for a moment I question if I'll need to stabilize and I feel my heart thump at the thought of losing stability. All stays calm, everything is stable, and the world is completely quiet... I have a simple book in front of me, I don't believe I had a great deal of control since my objective just became to pick this book up and try to read it without even thinking about all the things I've been dying to try out , but anyways... I open it up and try to read it, everything is just jumbled letters in the sentences, like this "werwer joji ger kloj jwegfweg ohqndfei", so I try again by looking away and looking back at the pages. This time the words have change "Out building house trailer love, the is at hello..." etc just random words that were non-nonsensically placed. I think I perform this one more time with the same result of nonsense, I don't recall doing much else and seem to just wake up naturally.

Notes on lucid - I think it was a new thing to just have a straight calm and stable lucid, although it was remarkably underwhelming and boring relative to my other experiences.

Dream 3 - Library and Changing Room
So I'm in a hallway which is simultaneously a library... There's one book shelf that's hip height and has about 3 rows on it, it's situated on the window side of the hallway (of which it is pretty much a looking glass window 2 metres wide space a few centimetres apart. I think there's like a garden enclosure that you can see, and it reminds me of the view from the teachers hallway at my old high school when I was younger. I seem to be browsing the collection of futurama episodes (book versions) which goes on for a few minutes until a person next to me stops and browses for some disk called 'H'. I've apparently listened to the disk before and advise him about it. Things move on and I notice my friend Zac walking into the girls area of changing rooms, which I'm like "Oh damn what a lucky bastard" for some reason. I wonder why he's even allowed in there, and then for some reason like a minute later it's also the changing rooms for people who are homo sexual. I also walk past and see a window and as I look at it I realize it's the changing room window and see a chick take her shirt off at the far end of the changing room, she had brown hair, pale skin and was quite skinny. I completely forgot about this dream for like an hour after having it, glad I remembered it

early recall disappointing: great dreams I sense but poor recall. Later recall good with a short lucid and some amusing scenarios.

Dreamsigns in bold. Lucid in red.

+ awesome flying with a friend from my childhood home's backyard all the way down to the city far below -- swooping all over the place (wish I had better memory of this)

+ encounter junior HS girlfriend in room sitting on floor, baggie of blue and green sprinkles "pot"

I enter a room and sit down on the floor with my back against the wall. To my left also sitting in the same position is MB, my junior high school girlfriend. I lean over and give her a peck-kiss on the cheek and she scoots quickly away from me on the floor towards the door ("don't do that" she says?), I tell her she smells like pot [she did used to toke]. She returns to me and I put my left arm around her and we're sitting cheek to cheek and I'm concerned somebody may see us and get the wrong idea. She brings out a baggie from a backpack on the other wall of the room: it is a quart-sized ziploc absolutely stuffed full with what looks like blue and green colored sugar crystals. It is pot. I take a big whiff of it but don't smell anything, MB does the same, I say "get this stuff away from me!" and put it back into the backpack.



+ I'm saying good night and waving good-bye to a friend (MB?) at childhood neighborhood park. I look up the stairs to the street and see a group of my friends are all lined up standing on the edge of the curb. I run up the stairs, and decide to do a "play tackle" of the group. I run forward with my shoulder lowered and run into the pack of them lightly from the left with my right hand around the body of the one in back. My right hand accidentally rests on the butt of the girl in the back, who it turns out is KH [always had a crush on her], she says annoyed, "<my name>! Hey!>". I walk down the line of them towards the front, high-fiving them all, then continue walking home with some girl, I'm complaining about having to get up early for an elementary linguistics class I don't need.

WBTB -- anchor: visualizing walking while dribbling a basketball.

room way too hot & stuffy, turn on fan, go get water (ate way too big too late sushi dinner with too much soy sauce, feel sodium hangover)

+ (lucid #100 [woohoo triple digits, baby!]) I'm in my childhood home, my bedroom, with son and wife, I see a bird quickly swoop by the window outside, I continue looking on the trajectory it took and see our cat sitting on a cabinet. The window (left pane) is a crack open and an animal is standing there. I can't decide at first if it is a cat (with a face like our cat) or a bird. I decide it is an owl and it starts to look like one, about 1.5 feet tall. I'm calling out to my wife to see the owl, and she doesn't see it. I'm practically screaming at her, "IT'S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU! LOOK, RIGHT THERE, STRAIGHT AHEAD!"). The owl walks to the room, it transforms into a tall (4 feet) brown furry/blurry/feathery thing and starts pacing back and forth in the room. I think, "Ah, OK, this is a dream,…" (nose pinch?). I clearly recall a thought like "time for some sex!" (and don't remember very much more.)

+ (f) sitting at desk in childhood bedroom, I see "they" have arranged my stuff: my digital watch (missing its band) has been pinned to my bulletin board, neatly arranged at the bottom among other things pinned there.

+ the pool: I'm sitting behind a glass wall [dream sign], a group of girls emerge from the door leading to the pool About 3 of them sit on chairs a bit behind my view and are stretching/moving, I look at them, then I turn around and crane my neck to get a view of them. I return my gaze forwards and see 2 of them are sitting immediately next to me now on my side of the glass: one to my right and a bit forwards and one directly in front of me. The one directly in front of me is bottomless and I see her v-jay and she's rubbing it a bit with both hands. My beach towel is bunched up under my right arm. At a later point I'm looking for my towel and I find it near my left arm. I want to take a pic of these lovelies and take out my phone. My phone is stuck on an app, and I hit the home button to then switch to the camera app. The phone does not respond. It keep hitting the home button, the phone acts like it's hung. I sense a guy is standing next to me looking down at my phone screen, and don't want him to see. A physical button appears and I'm tweaking it to try to select a function on the phone. I give up and a put down the phone but the girls are gone and their chairs are empty. Dang!

I stand up and prepare to talk away, I see on the ground a discarded funny small thing which turns out to be a company N special phone (like a small watch face) on ground, JT my N colleague shows/tells me that the owner can be found by entering a code. 9198? I ask for the code a few times, repeat it to myself, and try repeatedly to enter the code on the device. The device is now a large circuit board with a very small keypad that my fingers can barely touch properly, my fingernails get in the way. I can't enter the access code on the circuit board, every time I try the board (beeps and all the buttons/lights turns red temporarily).

+ I'm playing crazy basketball on a team playing against another team. We're playing with wadded-up towels instead of balls, shooting them into the baskets. I'm making a lot of plays (lay-ups) and shots banking the "balls" off of the backboard to score. My opponents ask me "why do you use the backboard so much?" (they think doing so is beneath them). I steal the ball from a missed shot of theirs and make another basket for our team, again banking against the backboard. I tell them "see!?", the backboard helps focus the ball into the basket I think. I make a run towards the basket and stop suddenly at the top of the key and pass the ball behind my back to a teammate (it was an awesome pass) who then passes it back to me but I fumble it and say "sorry!"

(I throw?) the "ball" up behind the backboard and it gets wedged in the corner of the ceiling and the wall. I see it there, it looks inaccessible. I take a broom handle and climb up there, there is not room to get my head/body up there, but as it turns out it's not that far away and the broom handle is more than long enough to reach it. Someone is standing next to me as I pull out the rag/ball.

+ the picnic: I'm walking and notice 'the garden house" which I think is normally empty. There is a short path leading to it, it is underneath trees. I see there is a light inside. I wonder if it is T (our house helper), someone is inside. I feel annoyed that people are in there, it should be a private retreat for me I think. I enter and see in the room there a table set and on the other side a really attractive girl, colored all in white/black/silver, completely monochrome, something is weird about her but I feel attracted at the same time. I sit down and there is a more colorful girl to my left, she recites a poem (which I mostly forgot), the final words are "…and we have our first kiss." I'm a bit embarrassed by this, I'm not really into her but I sense she likes me.

I take a drink of something and spill a few drops on my crouch, I look down and see I'm wearing gray dress slacks, I brush away the pinkish drops and I see a pinkish faint stain is left on the fabric, I don't worry about it.

+ the secret: I'm walking on some road/path with my mother to my left, and a (the colorful girl from previous dream?) girl. I tell lucid #100 details to girl (whispering so that mother won't hear, I don't want her to know I'm a lucid dreamer), especially the heart where my wife didn't see the owl. The girl notices strange bumps on mother's head (shaved area), girl says she has the same. I look to my left and see a strange shaved area around my other's right ear. The girl says something about a little piece of the bumps providing some sensation if it is rubbed (haha).

+(f) the circuit board: the entire daughter card is held/contacts the motherboard only via two jumpers, concerned about contacts, should solder them probably. I'm holding this thing in my hands and looking at it from different angles.

Last night at stayed at my folk’s house and I wasn’t able to do the Wake Back to Bed (WBTB) routine and incubate my intended lucid dream (LD), but I was lucky enough to have one interesting LD. Here’s what happened:

In this dream I was discussing a project with my boss, and then ‘out of the blue’ he says, “You’re always sweaty.” I stopped what I was doing and looked at him and went, “Huh?”, and he repeated, “You’re always sweaty.”, so I retorted, “No, I’m not! What do you mean?” He points at my nose and says your nose is always sweaty, and bloody.” This was starting to piss me off, because I don’t have a bloody, sweaty nose. Then I realized I was standing in my underwear, my pants were gone! I stormed off to the back of my truck, sat on the tailgate, and opened my suitcase to pull out some pants, but then all my clothes went flying across the ground. Then about 15 Mexicans came walking past me and they stomped all over my clothes! Now I was really pissed off, so I chased after them while swinging my pants in the air, saying lewd comments. Then I said, “Yeah, you’re lucky I’m dreaming!” Utopia, I’m lucid! I quickly apologized for my bad dream behavior. They accepted my apologies and continued on their way.

Things started to fade, so I began to swirl (spin) to bring back visual clarity. After about 10 seconds, my vision was perfectly clear, so I walked to the front of the truck and started chatting with my boss and a co-worker. We walked into a small, empty building where we could talk in private. My first question was, “Are we having a shared dream?” They didn’t answer me, so I said, “I’m lucid dreaming right now. I often lucid dream, but I don’t let people know that I’m lucid, but I’ve decided to tell you. Who are you?” They both looked at each other, and they became very uncomfortable with the conversation. A bright light started to glow from behind me, and they both backed away, while staring at this light with a total look of fear. The light being emitted resembled that from a welder. My boss and co-worker then ran out the backdoor, and I followed chase. I wasn’t scared of this light, but I just wanted to know the answers to my questions. My co-worker transformed into a woman as he ran, and my boss disappeared into thin air. I followed my ‘now female’ co-worker in a crowed community center, and I lost him (or her).

There was a 1 foot tall, blonde woman singing a beautiful song beside a live band. There had to have been at least 100 people watching, and they were all nicely dressed in suits and dresses (I wasn’t, I only had my shirt and gitch on). A woman, who I didn’t recognize, walked up beside me, said my name, and asked me to have a seat and enjoy the show. I sat beside an elderly woman who said, “That’s my Uncle singing!” I thought to myself, “That’s a woman singing. Kookoo! Kookoo!”, so I replied, “He sure is a nice singer!” Wink, wink. After the woman was done singing, she walked past me to the left, and I complimented her by saying, “Great singing!”, but she looked away, because she was probably thinking who’s that weirdo sitting there in his gitch! Lucidity faded quickly and I woke up.

I remember as far back as being at my elementary school playground, It was me and 3 other boys, two blond skater brothers and my somewhat good friend, Max. Our time machine was in the school bathroom, the bathroom was very dirty and had bad lighting, was almost nightmarish like. We were all on an adventure like a movie, we step into the time machine and we wanted to go back way into the past, the time machine was a small cylinder room full of bright buttons and a red lever, I pulled the lever and we went back in time, but we only went back two days.

A small very annoying kid from my class calls us out from the entrance of the bathroom, "hey nerds!" he yells, we walk over to him and I say, "who the hell you calling nerds asshole?" He kept calling us nerds and I got angry, I thought about punching him but he was very small and I knew I shouldn't, then Max started beating him up, we just watched, he punched him hard in the mouth and the stomach repeatedly and wailed on him to a pulp, blood was all over the walls and we felt no remorse. I remember walking by his mangled twitching body on the ground, I think he was dead, but not sure, his arms and legs were broken and twisted, his face swollen red, and he had many missing teeth. We walk outside, everything seems normal, one of the brothers runs out to the playground while Max wandered off, I stood at the entrance of the bathroom, then I hear yelling at the playground, the brother at the playground pissed off a very large gang of school kids. I tell the brother next to me to find the others and get back to the time machine while I go back and fire up the time machine. Max runs back and gets in the time machine, the brothers are running with a angry mob behind them, we were about to time travel back to present day and they jump into the time machine just barely making it.

Now present day we step out, and the angry mob is waiting for us, they pick who wants to beat up who, I'm taken into a stall where I fight a very large kid from my school, he was about 6'3 and probably weighed at least 250 pounds. He slapped me in the head and what was interesting about this was I felt pain, real physical pain in a dream. I then woke up. I performed a DEILD I then went back into the dream watching my old dream reform right before my eyes and next thing I knew I was back in my dream. I explored my old elementary school playground, it was an exact replica it seemed. I found a basketball and started playing, around this time I lost lucidity.

#414 - 8:44AM - DILD

WBTB 3:30AM 8mg Galantamine/400mg choline, 400mg DMAE
This one didn't go so well, but I was lucky enough to pull off one LD late in the morning purely out of desperation.

I am trying to enter my email login on my phone to see an important email from my mortgage broker. Nothing I type comes out right so I look for my laptop. I have an false awaking and become slightly lucid. I think how typical the previous dream was for electronics failure.
Next I notice SW from work in bed with us. I know it's not real, but I am snuggled against him and I find it mildly humorous. I push him away and initiate sex with my wife by actively summoning and creating the sensation. Several odd thoughts race through my mind as we do it for a few moments.
I am now in a classroom in a chair with a trash can between my feet.

Spoiler for EXPLICIT:

Spoiler for NO REALLY I MEAN IT:

Spoiler for I WARNED YOU:

I notice that have my pants down and I am scooted up on the edge of the seat and sort of hunched forward like I am on the toilet. I realize that I am making slight humping motions so I look down. I see my erect penis with a long string of cum slowly dripping off the tip.

Shocked at my nakedness and sexual nature, I wonder how my dream would cause me to literally end up like this. I look up and see an and old woman that is an ex-coworker (dead) looking at me sort of curious as well as shocked. I quickly pull my shirt down to cover myself. I feel disoriented and confused. I wonder how I could have had such an obvious sex dream in public. I realize that I am in a room pf coworkers both past and present and if feel embarrassed and devastated that this is happening. I'll never live it down. My life is ruined. I pull my shorts up not really getting my underwear and they king bunch down low, but I don't care as long as I am covered. I feel so sleepy and I rub my face and sigh heavy trying to get my bearings. I still can't believe this has happened. I don't even know how I fell asleep. I try to ignore everyone around me as I deal with this trauma; I just want a way out. I begin to hope that by some miracle of divine magic that I am in a dream. Maybe... I do a nose plug out of desperation and am completely delighted and surprised to blow through. I giggle and the feeling of hopeless despair rolls off me dropping like a lead weight. Forgetting about any nakedness, I stand up and walk over to a group of people talking. I think how I am highly lucid as I playfully push V (fired IWL) over and say I relief, "This is all a dream." V falls out of sight and I smile at everyone feeling triumphant and gleeful. Before I can do much else, the dream quickly collapses and I wake up.

I had another LD much earlier in the night but I cant recall much so I'm counting. Basically, I was running from some enemy when I became lucid and played with a gun. I wanted a shoot out so I blind summoned a rifle. I goes off against a glass but only scorching it. In some burned out building someones head peaked up outside a window. I fire off a shot, but the dream fades out.

Wbtb: I drag myself out of bed, drink a bit of latte (40?mg) and take lecitin, go straight back to bed trying to cut corners on staying awake. There is like zero effect on increasing my wakefulness but feeling guilty to be skipping my wbtb I keep waking up (yet still feel drowsy). I spend the remaining sleep time in a NREM limbo, a mix of deep sleep, HI and constant wakes.

There is a brief scene where I realize that am already in and start walking around but I either lose lucidity or wake up shortly after.

Keep turning and tossing annoyed that I just don't have the right wakefulness as I didn't do my wbtb. I repeat my goals and try to concentrate on my body.

I find myself staring at some screen ascertaining that I am in the dream. Everything is very unstable at this point so I just keep swiping the screen in front of me, pretending to be involved in the dream for a few seconds. When I feel I'm ready, I move to the side, which reveals that I am in my old room again. This is a bit annoying as I wanted to do the valentine card task, so I head towards the window. There is some furniture, slightly in the wrong place blocking the way. I close the cupboard door that blocks the way but it doesn't fully close and click and keeps opening. I just don't want to spend more time dealing with it, so I sneak forward while holding it then let it go. I go towards the balcony door which is closed and I try to open it via handle but it gets stuck. I decide to pull and it opens nevertheless. The action of opening this locked door produces a weird physical somewhat painful sensation in my body of resistance and as if the object is actually touching me (bearing some resemblance to phasing sensations).

I go outside and look around. I see the flowers and wonder could I be really dreaming? It looks very realistic and close to memory but is it possible that I still live here? Initially there are no DCs in sight which pisses me off due to the task I had in mind. I have to jump again but am almost certain that a quick jump or even a slow climb down can mess with stability at this point (due to quick change of perspective and reduction in tactile sensations). I look down and see one of the two sisters. She looks nasty as usual. I recall some contemplations about dealing with people from real life in dreams and decide to be honest with her. "Hey, you know what? You are really annoying"

After that I have no more desire to talk to her and contemplate going back inside to look for people within a reaching distance (I also wonder if I should just summon one here). The dream thins out.

I do a quick review, pissed off that I couldn't find any people, then continue with my limbo sleep.

After the nth turning and tossing, I find myself in another dream. It's a bright day and I am on a very distorted version of my old street. I immediately recognize it's a dream (awareness, no trigger). There is a middle aged woman with colorful knitted clothes and I remember the valentine card task. Very aggressively and without saying anything, I expect her to produce a card for me. She holds a number of items like banknotes, little pieces of paper, etc, that I browse but nothing looks like a V-card. Disappointed, I leave her and go down the street where I see bf and one of our friends. They look invitingly at me and I quickly go to where they are and ask bf if he has a V card for me. Alas, he coldly cuts me off "No." I think about how my expectations could have influenced his answer.

Bf and the other guy continue down the street. I catch up and try again "Are you sure you don't have a V card for me? I clearly remember you were carrying one!" This seems to do the trick and he hands me the V card. I examine it to see it has a number of Chinese characters on top and some almost normal words below them. There are a few love related words that are arranged like a short poem. As I try to read the words keep changing. I even hold the card from a distance to see if this would make a difference. I remember our brain actually doesn't need to read the entire word to make out the meaning.

Bf is still here and I say to him while wondering if he could possibly be dreaming too. "The words keep changing, see? Do you know why that is? It is because it's a dream."

I wake up.