lucid

Ritual: WTB 3am, woke several times before and after dawn but didn't WBTB, woke around 9:30am and put vibrating alarm on wrist, set for 24 minutes. Woke up too soon, before it went off, reset it. Next cycle effective.

EILD: I feel the pulse of the alarm on my left wrist, waking me, but remember to lay very still and see if I can maintain dream state. I experimentally move my hands and arms and from the sinuous and unimpeded sense of motion I'm convinced this is working, that I'm moving the dream body and not the physical one. I know I have to be careful not to overdo it and actually engage real motor functions, so I spend some time almost "dancing" in place with my arms, writhing them bonelessly like a snake dance, until I have enough sense of engagement with the dream body that I risk rolling out of bed. I can't walk yet: I can barely crawl over the rug. I know I need to engage the environment, so I stare at the carpet, noticing the texture of the pile. I'm pleased when I spot a piece of random detritus under my dresser, because something unexpected means the dreamstate is gaining momentum. To gain traction I focus on physical sensations, running my hands over the carpet and even bending lower to rub my cheek against it. Even though I've done this many times before I'm still impressed with the vividness of the sensation, it feels so scratchy and real.

When I feel sufficiently engaged with my dream body, I manage to stand upright and walk. I easily recall my plan to work on memory—carefully though! I don't want to actually wake myself up. Trying to remember where I went to sleep seems unnecessary, as I still haven't left the bedroom. What about the date? I'm pretty sure it's February... I don't want to think harder to get the precise date lest that efffort wake me. (It's worth nothing that I usually have to think just as hard to remember the calendar date in WL. Usually I just look at my phone because it's easier.)

I start walking through the hall toward the kitchen. What other memory should I try to access? I know, what have I been reading lately? I'm pretty sure I came up with the correct general impression, but even as I write this, details of my waking life knowledge of this topic are corrupting and crowding out the dream recollections to the point where it is hard to be sure how specific my answer was. At any rate, in the dream I felt satisfied with my level of memory access and moved on.

As I entered the kitchen I noticed something peculiar: even though I was in a very accurate mental model of my house and had a strong access to waking recollection, and had even managed to access WL memory without disrupting the dream state, it had not in the least improved it either. I had a good sense of tactility (I find that the easiest sense to maintain), but as so often in early WILDs (which this effectively was though induced by EILD technique), my vision was still extremely poor. The haziness was mitigated by the fact that I was in a dream version of my house, as I almost am at the start of dreams of this type, so I "knew" what was around me and that knowledge could help make up for the lack of visual clarity. Perhaps that is partly why my mind instinctively frames such dreams in this way, in addition to the straightforward logical continuity of entering the dream from a mental model of the same place I went to sleep. It moreover suggests that from the start of WILDs I always instinctively remember where my WL body is sleeping, even if I am not paying deliberate attention to the fact.

I wondered if concentrating would clean up my vision but there was no improvement— it's too bad I didn't think of Fryingman's awesome technique, which I only read about last night, of "taking off the blurry glasses." I figured I should try to clean it up in the usual way, interacting with the dreamstate until it naturally clarified and brightened. Meanwhile, I thought about the other tasks I had been planning. Most important was the elusive forest. After many tries fruitlessly trying to reach it on foot, I decided that I need to stop chasing it, since I seem to be encountering a mental block, and instead will it to manifest around me. I also remembered another task that I've been wanting to try for ages but never managed to think of when dreaming (so maybe this memory trick is working after all?) My idea was to see if I could "play" my WoW character, a Forsaken, and explore the Undercity. I murmur her name aloud, but decide to save that for another time—right now my main goal is to work on the forest.

I stand squarely in my kitchen and start to visualize myself surrounded by trees. There is a tall houseplant to my right with feathery foliage: it must be the little potted tree I used for Christmas, a Norfolk pine. I reach out and grasp its soft needles with my right hand, thinking this will help focus my thoughts on the forest I am attempting to conjure. Intriguingly, I fail to notice the spatial discrepancy: although the real tree is only a few feet from where I dreamed it, in WL it is now outside on the patio rather than inside the house.

Unfortunately, this is as close as I get to manifesting anything like a forest before my husband comes into the room. I figure he'll just ignore me because I am dreaming—and oddly I make the assumption, as I seem so often to do in the dreamstate, that I am encountering the real-life version of him even though I know I am dreaming. Maybe it is this tendency that makes some people interpret dreams so closely modeled on RL spaces as "OBEs". But I am thrown into confusion when my husband looks right at me and starts talking. What does it mean? How can he possibly see me? Could I have been wrong in my conviction that so-called "OBEs" are a naive misinterpretation of certain kinds of LDs; might I really be "projecting" an image of myself into the waking world? This still doesn't seem plausible, but the only alternative I can think of is that I am actually awake. (Note the dream logic: despite the generally high level of memory access and mental function in this dream, I completely fail to consider the most likely— and as it turns out correct—alternative, that the encounter with my husband is nothing more than a projection of my dreaming imagination.)

So am I awake or dreaming? I'm not sure anymore. It feels like a dream, and I'm still not seeing my environment very clearly, but maybe I'm still groggy and bleary from having just gotten up. How could I be confused about this, though? Although there are plenty of times that I'm fully convinced I'm awake and turn out to have been dreaming, not once have I ever been fully convinced I was dreaming and turned to be awake. It doesn't occur to me to try any of the typical RCs, but I focus my attention inward, on my sense of bodily awareness, to try to figure this out. I've often noticed that my dream body is characterized by a peculiar kind of inward vibration radiating from the area of my solar plexus—this impression used to be very strong and distinct, especially when flying, but it has become much less noticeable as I've grown more experienced. I think I can sense it now but it is very faint.

My husband is still talking, and although I am too perplexed to follow what he is saying, he seems to be complaining about some bad habit of mine. "...twenty-one times a day," he concludes. Apparently that's how often I do the thing that has been annoying him. Does it have something to do with my dream practice?

The encounter has now totally disrupted my concentration on the forest task, so I turn around and approach the patio door, thinking I'll just go outside. The weather looks lovely, cloudy and wet. "Hey, it's raining," I comment aloud, and anticipate how nice it will be to feel the cool water on my skin. I start to take off my sweater so I'll have something dry to put on when I come back in (it doesn't occur to me how odd it is that I'm wearing a sweater if I supposedly just got out of bed) and pull open the door.

"Don't, we have to leave," warns my husband. I recall (correctly) that he wanted us to go out on an errand today, but even if I am somehow actually awake, it must still be mid-morning. I assumed we were going in the afternoon, why would he want to leave so early? With these thoughts the dream is finally disrupted and I wake up.

Note: On the way to my laptop to write things down, I remember the silent alarm still on my wrist and look at the time. It reads 20:42, and it was set for intervals of 24 minutes, which means the whole dream played out in just under three and a half minutes. Of course, then it took an hour and a half to fully record, which is maybe why it's a good thing I don't LD every night, lol.

WILD/DILD (?) - i don´t know exactly how i got into this dream but i am exploring and refining a WILD approach and so i think it had something to do with it ( in my experience many DILDs result from WILD attempts and vice-versa)

Very short lucid: So i realize i am dreaming. I am with a clone of myself and i am touching it and playing with it, looking at it and whatnot..I think to myself that if i can have a clone in my dreams maybe i can remain lucid for a longer time.

1. I'm walking through a building, and there are basically no lights. Whatever building I am in, everything looks as if I was in some extremely prison. Suddenly my awareness kicks in and I become Lucid. I look around me, and I am completely by myself. I can hear talking, but it sounds like its really far away from me. "I know what I'll do," I thought to myself, "I'll have sex with a hot babe"(how typical, I know).
For some reason I am in a crouched position. Something tells me to stay in that position so I do. Staying crouched, I slowly walk out of the room to see what's up. Outside of my room, everything was more spacious and expanded. I remember looking behind me when I heard footsteps, and I saw that someone was running at me. I don't have time to run, and I have no idea what to do. Suddenly I am transported into my room.
Now I am standing in my room, and it's nighttime. Everyone seems to be asleep in the house as well. All of the lights in my room are off except for a small yellow night light in the corner. Because of how strong the night light was, I could see fairly well. What had happened? I didn't really want to teleport and somehow I did. How, what, who, where, and why, where all the questions going through my mind. It's like something/someone knew I was in trouble, and so they helped me out.
I look at my bed and it looks like a mess. All the sheets are messed up. On the ground next to my bed, my comforter is balled up into a sphere and is just sitting there. I look back at my bed and I see that another comforter is on my bed now, rolled out perfectly. Suddenly I hear somebody walking up the steps. Who could it be this late at night? The footsteps continue. Finally they get all the way up the stairs and I can hear them approaching my room. Out of instinct I realize that it is my sister. I don't want her to bother me so I run to my door, close it, and then I hold my body against the door so she can't open it.
She comes to my door and starts banging on it. I then feel her start ramming the door with her whole body just trying to get it. Suddenly my foot slips on my carpet and I lose balance. At this point she rams into my room. I get up and ask her, "What are you doing? Get out of my room". She then starts telling me how she doesn't have to and why she shouldn't and everything else. In fact, it gets so annoying that I actually fall into non-lucidity.

I was in my room. There were big ants everywhere and they were behaving strangely. At some point I realised I was dreaming and counted my fingers: 11 in one hand. I stopped to think what I'd do next, so I first shouted "clarity now" and "all of my dreams are lucid". I remembered the advanced task about the candy store and decided to go for it.

Going down the stairs to the street, I thought the door would be open and it wouldn't be cold outside. I was surprised how the dream let me control it and it was very vivid. Once on the street, a classmate joined me. We walked for a few minutes until I decided for a building, and put all my intent in making it a candy store. It looked like a restaurant from the outside, so I stopped by the door, feeling skeptical. A group of people entered the building and a girl said to me: "we'll wait in the same order we entered". I didn't mind going after them, so I let them first and followed them. Inside, the building looked like a shop to buy bathroom items (sinks and toilets and stuff), so I felt a pang of disappointment, but I wasn't going to give up. We went to the shop assistant, and as we were drawing closer, behind him appeared a truckload of candies. After the other group bought their candies, it was my turn. I asked him for the strangest candy he offered and he gave me a black little kind of sponge, 2x2cm, with a white and green sign in the middle. He said it tasted like Red Bull. I had a bite, but I've never had Red Bull before, so my brain was like "taste not found", and it didn't taste like much, maybe just a bit sweet.

I was super excited when I went out of the candy store and told my classmate, who still was with me, it'd be great if she could remember this dream too. She said she doubted she'd be able to and I told her some people believe in shared dreaming, but that in this case she was just a projection of my dream.

I remember waking up to the sound of my alarm about 5 minutes before I had to actually get up.
I told myself that I would need to get about 2 more minutes of sleep then I would get up for school.

Upon awakening I got up and looked at my hand and I grew a 6th finger thats how I knew I was lucid. I Immediately ran down to the kitchen and hurled open the door, everything was getting fuzzy thus making me rub my hands together. Everything was stable. I looked across the street at the BMV and tried to throw a boulder at it, but it didnt work( this being my longest lucid dream , so I wasnt to sure what I was capable of yet ill be sure to take it in steps next time and not rush into anything ) At the next moment I tried to imagine myself flying , but my feet only gave me a gentle little hover before calmly fading back down to the pavement.

Then I awoke.

Wake Induced Lucid Dream using visualization and hypnagogic imagery (consciously awake with body asleep).

I entered this dream lucid, and I was following a man and woman as we walked through glass doors into bright daylight. I said, “Hey, I’m lucid!” with total excitement! They both instantly turned inwards and looked at me, and then at each other, with a questioning look. I unfortunately woke, but I remained perfectly still and focussed on getting back in there.

I again entered a dream lucid, and found myself walking in a mall, surrounded by people. Right beside me was a couple, and they were both really tall and fit. I spoke what I was thinking, “Wow, are you ever tall! How tall are you?” The woman gave me a dumbfounded look and said, “I’m 6 foot 3.” I replied, “Holy smokes you’re tall, you must be good at sports!” She gave me one of these stereotypical looks and mumbled, “Whatever.”, and walked away. To my right was a restaurant lounge area full of people, so I decided to go in there and explore.

Standing alone in the restaurant was this dazed, sleepy looking woman in her early 20’s (very pretty). She seemed totalled spaced out, and I thought maybe she’s also a dreamer, so went up and put my hand on her shoulder and asked how she was doing. She slowly became focussed and said, “I’m doing fine.” I introduced myself and we started to ‘chit chat’ as we walked around the bar area. I forget what we were talking about, but it was everyday stuff. After about 3 or 4 minutes she started to look really tired and despondent, so I put my arm around her waist to hold her up, and I said, “Don’t fall asleep, please stay a bit longer!”, and she slurred, “I can’t help it.” A couple of dream figures came running up to me to ask what I was doing. I said, “She falling asleep and she needs to return to her bed.” I laid her down on the floor, and she quickly passed through the floor like she was laying in quicksand. When her body was half way through the floor, her clothes and body morphed into the appearance of ceramic tile (This was very cool).

My boss from work walked up to me and said, “Hi!”, and then my vision faded to black, but I could still hear everybody talking in the restaurant. I yelled, “I can’t see anything, keep talking to me until my vision comes back, please!” I chatted with my boss for about 30 seconds, and then everything came back with perfect clarity. By this point there was about a dozen dream figures standing around, and three of them were my childhood friends, Glen, Julian, and Bruce. I looked at them and said, “We’re dreaming right now!”, but nobody seemed to agree with me so I said, “Or maybe this is your reality?” Julian looked at me and said, “Sure, that’s it.”

We all stood around chatting for a bit, and then I said to Julian, “Lets bounce!” We jumped up and then slowly floated down, and every time we went higher and higher. The restaurant ceiling was at least 30 feet up, and Julian unexpectedly flew up about 20 feet and then came speeding down onto his butt causing a shock wave to go through the entire restaurant. We all found this really amusing, and we laughed real hard, so I decided to give it a try (show off my lucidity skills).

I decided to fly up real high, so I could get some speed when I was coming back down, but I was looking downward as I flew up, and then I accidentally hit the restaurant’s ceiling with my back. The entire restaurant ceiling bowed and distorted upwards into a dome, and then the walls caved inwards. People started to scream and shout, and all my friends took off running. I quickly decided to fly back down and blend into the crowd, but the ceiling was stuck to my back, and I stretched downward to within 10 feet of the floor. ‘All hell broke loose’ when the ceiling let go of my back and shot upwards! People were running around frantically, and the roof was coming down in pieces, with water was pouring everywhere! The bartender angrily shouted, “Who’s doing this, I can’t stand it!” The last thing I saw was water pouring down on top of the bartender, as he frantically tried to hold his counters in place. Then I woke up.

I was in third person point of view when I began witnessing two guys arguing. It appear to be late night, the two eventually push each other and quickly left. That is when the scenery had change. I found myself sit down in father room with 2 other people. One guy name was Ricky and somehow I knew that. The other person was inhabiting one of the corners in the room. It was a disc that appear to be floating had a smiley face and a glowing aura around it. I notice it hovering over my clothes so I decided to approach it. The more I got closer to the hovering disc the more it distance itself from me.

It must not like me I thought to myself. I decided to step away from it. I then started talking to Ricky to find out what's going on. Soon though it occurred to me that a hovering disc with a smiley face is an easy sign to know that I am dreaming. I went over to grab my journal to see if it's the exact same as it is in waking life. The words were different but at least it made sense. Ricky soon left to where I yelled through the close window that we got to fight some day. I punch the window which cause a large impact with the other items in the room.

This reminded me that I was still dreaming. I attempted to phase through the window but was unsuccessful. I open father front door to the living room and open the back door. It was partially clouded but with some sun piercing through. I then phase through the blinds and began my jog through the grass to a near hill. Then the environment became unfamiliar to me. I saw a few wet puddles on the road, I purposely step on one of them to see if it mimic the feeling correctly. It was exactly correct and felt real. I quickly reminded myself that I am still dreaming.

The weather was beginning to change to a more stormy windy scene. I then realize I was lost and had no other direction to navigate through the pool area. Then like before in another one of my lucid dreams, a ranger appeared. He ask me am I another guest waiting to enter the pool? I said no, I am trying to figure a way to continue walking east. He pointed to a rock stairway and told me to slide through the fence. I thank him to where I continue walking. Before I cross paths with him, he ask how many verbs did I know?

I told him some but that I am still working on my vocabulary. I found myself in a park, there were kids playing sports and doing track. I decided to watch them in till I felt the need to join in. The weather has now become a thunder storm which intensified the experience playing with them. However I soon woke up. Lucidity time: 7 minutes

After being relentlessly attacked by mummies, I manage to escape and find 3 people outside. I ask them if they could help me? They all agreed as the one guy check for any further assistance. The other woman check in to the apartment I recently escape from. That person soon confirm that there was some sort of monster lurking around. That's when she ask me if I was beaten anywhere by it? I said yes and pointed to all the spots I felt were beaten by it. I also said that I was beginning to feel dizzy and that their voices were growing faint.

We all begin walking so I could find a hospital to recover in. I soon find myself waking up from a hospital bed. I must've passed out on the way here. As I re-evaluate what happened to me. I become lucid. My vision was a bit distorted though. I soon notice that the person who help me was sitting down near by. Once she was aware that I was awake, she showed a picture claiming that I was the young toddler in it. She then ask me do I see another person in the picture? I agreed and could see the person on the far right. She then ask me if it was a man or a woman?

I got sunk in to the device she was using to get a closer look. I stare at the person face to confirm that the person in the photo was a man. That's when I woke up. Lucidity time: 23 seconds

I woke up a 4, struggled with recall, got nothing. I got up for about 5 minutes, did some state tests and set my intent to recognize my next dream. I went back to bed and practiced MILD. I tossed and turned for what seemed like a very long time. I checked my phone and the time was 4:58. I realized I still had an hour to sleep so I rolled over and tried to get to sleep. Almost immediately i felt the "sleep onset body buzz" and started to see some mild HI, mostly lights and simple patterns. The dream follows:

i am at a run down strip mall. most of the storefronts are abandoned and on my left. there is an ice cream shop at the far end of the stores. i am on my bike riding slowly. i see a woman who i think i know (middle school girlfriend all grown up?) drive by as a passenger in a silver sedan. i keep riding and ahead i notice the silver car drive off, the woman is not in it. the driver is an overweight man with round glasses, wearing a faded red tshirt. i ride past the ice cream shop and see the woman seated at a little round cement table at the end of the row of stores. i ride past her and make a little left turn , headed up a concrete switchback ramp. The ramp looks like it would lead up to a second level of the strip mall. I see the first turn in the switchback and know that i am dreaming. "im dreaming, im dreaming." i say i decide to ride into the wall, everything gets bright and clear, very defined, i wake up.

I rolled over and checked my phone, it was now 5:05. The interval between falling asleep and recognizing the dream was probably about 3 minutes! Unfortunately the dream was very short.

Wow! What a night! I had an OBE-like experience, a Lucid, and 3 FA - while doing 3 times the Raduga technique and feeling the separation! Wow!
Well, went to bed at 23:30, WBTB at 05:00 for 15 mins and back to sleep with my Rem Dreamer - lights only. I said to myself that if I succeed in Raduga again, this time I will be in my house - I will have an OBE (wanted to see if expectation matters, as it should). It took me some time to sleep (about 45 mins) and at some point I found myself in bed remembering the dream I just had. I thought I was late - some time has passed since awakening - but nevertheless I tried the Raduga separation technique. I felt a moving sensation, not strong but it was there. I alternated techniques, moving my limbs and then my body, and relaxing at the same time. I felt I was being dragged but not strongly as usual - I struggled to separate. But then in an instant, I floated out and I was flying in my living room! It was dark but I could see that it was my living room (and after awakening, quite strangely, it was - no false memory this time). I landed and walked a little bit - a sofa was out of place (I knew it then and same thing after awakening) and ...the RD lights went on - in bed again... Tried the separation again and in a few seconds, strong moving sensation again and I am thrown in darkness. I do a RC (nose pinch), negative at first and positive (breath through) a few seconds later! I am in total darkness. I take my RD mask off in order to see, but no use. I imagine I wear black glasses and take them off - no sight again. Then I just imagined seeing around and simply waited... A few seconds later I started seeing, and I was there: in a blue room decorated with stars. I'm wearing a silver spacesuit also with stars and the room is like a child's room, decorated with stars and planets - very beautiful.

I feel my hands in the gloves and try to stabilize by rubbing them and touching around and it's quite steady by now - not perfect, but steady. I'm very happy and I say my pre-planned affirmations: I am Lucid dreaming every night and I'm always calm and peaceful. Meanwhile, the dream starts to destabilize... I have difficulty speaking and... my wife moves in bed and the RD lights go off again... I am in bed and in apparently no time I had a FA. I take my RD off and take notes about my lucid, when the RD lights flash again...I am in bed and tricked by a normal dream... RD Lights flash again and this time I concentrated and started the separation again. I feel the movement sensation quite strongly, but as I am about to separate, my wife turns around again (she was very tired and didn't sleep well) and I am back to bed.... slowly I take my RD mask off (for real) and take notes on all this....WoW, what a night!

LUCID
*It seemed the dream started lucid. The vividness and clarity of the environment was akin to waking reality. Lately the first thing I always do when becoming lucid is to be aware of my dream stability. I keep myself calm and fully engaged in a composed fashion. After I feel anchored with in the dream and I can let my mind go from the topic to anything I want to accomplish.

I proceeded walking through this construction site. Looking at the detail of the piled dirt was amazing all in it self. Then all most instantly it was day light. I was in a small neighborhood and decided to explore a house. The first house I approached seemed creepy so I thought I shouldn't go in it. The next house was absolutly beautiful, kind of latin style house painted orange.

This girl I know but not really that well answered the door. I was very surprise to see this girl appear in my dream. She said a lot to me which at this point I don't remember. I observed the art work in her house for a while.

I was at Chuckie cheese playing a few games with my nephew and other children. When I finished using all my tokens i started thinking about what cheap toy i should get and if i should just give it to my nephew. As i was walking something happened that took the dream in a different direction but i forgot what. The next thing i remember happening is that i ended up in my house.

Inside my house i was lucid and started to call Dawn. A dream character came but he did not look like Dawn. After talking to him for a bit he started to repeat what he was saying like a broken record. When he stopped being like a broken record he told me something about stepping to the side of the world so i couldn't be seen. I wanted to get away from this dc so i ran to my parents bedroom, pretended there was a portal in the wall behind me and fell back. I started to fall down a yellow colored void.

I started thinking about how i wanted Jade's dream characters in my dream now and slowly random characters began to appear in the void. One of them pulled me through a small rectangular opening and i was now in a forest like setting.But it looked like the scenery was walls with vines and other stuff painted on them. As I was walking i started calling for Manei. A girl came and yet again she didn't look like Manei but i just decided to go with it.

"Manei, how can sense when there is someone else around?" I asked her. " You will know when their there." she replied back. As we were walking around i heard a voice in the distance. I started to interrupt the person who was talking to someone else. Than went towards it. I found a guy playing with little toys and a truck on the ground. He didn't look like Jade but reminded me of how Jade likes Lego. "Are you playing with action figures?" I asked the guy. But he did not respond to me and just kept playing and moving them around.

The girl i was with came back after i started calling for Manei again.She was with someone else this time and seemed like she was getting distracted by the other person. I started shouting hey and for her to remember that i was present. She than started walking with me. I think there was a spoon present and she said "We need to boil a full green apple." I'm not sure what the apple was for but i just kept following her. We ran into a bit of trouble though.

A little blonde girl was out to get me. I kept screaming for help. After running for a bit we arrived at the stairs of my house. I was holding onto the girl that came after i called for Manei and the little girl was holding onto me. Somehow the dream shifted after that and my dad was now with the little blonde girl in the kitchen telling her that killing me was unacceptable and that she wasn't even allowed to hold a gun.I left the house and ran up the hill. There were stores to the side that wasn't suppose to be there.I was thinking about going inside but woke up.

Note to self: " Stop running from little girls!!! (/-w-")

#410 - DEILD - 4:08AM

WBTB @ 3AM. Caffeine from coffee.

I wake slightly surprised that I can recall no dreams. I lay still and focus my attention a few inches from the crown of my head. Vibrations quickly start and it's not long until I feel my dream body float up from my physical body. There is a moment where I can feel both simultaneously and this causes an in-and-out-feel or 'bouncing' effect of my dream body. I shift my focus to walking and make my way to the living room. I am blind, but I feel like I just have my eyes close so I slowly and cautiously open them, worried that I will open my physical eyes and wake up. Luckily, this clears up the dream with no other effect. As I walk to the front door, I have a strange feeling like I am half crouched or hunched over and my eyes feel like they are trying to roll into the back of my head. I correct this by straightening up and trying to look more downward.

Outside, I see a full moon and the yard is only lit by it's dim light. There's are a few scattered stars and I recall one of my goals to meditate on one with the intention of travel. As I look up my eyes go out of focus and the feeling of them rolling into the back of my head returns. Then, there is some visual distortion like my physical eyes have opened slightly. I make a poor attempt to correct this not really knowing how and I wake slightly again.

I DEILD the same way as before, but this time when I reach the living room I enter a true void. Usually I have some phsycial sensation during these 'void' experiences, but this time I feel truely cut off from everything; no sight, no sound, no touch. I don't even feel like I have a body. Instead of fighting against it, I decide to relax and enjoy whatever I am given. I then regain some sensational and feel as if I am slowly floating around a space. I then begin to roll and I see a light on each rotation through closed eye lids. I had no sense of time and wondered if there was light coming from my bedroom window. Maybe it's later in the morning. I begin to wonder if I am going to roll on top of my wife. I think about this and decide to have dream sex with her. I kiss her, but the feeling quickly slips away.

I am fooled momentarily by a false awakening. I open my eyes and find that I have in fact rolled on top of my wife except I have my butt in her face. I feel embarrassed and we both laugh. I quickly get back on my side of the bed and try to focus again to DEILD. I have a vivid image of my wife laughing, but her teeth look very brown and decayed like some meth-head's.



I am repulsed by this, but quickly realize this is a dream. I say to myself, "You are still asleep!" I know this is true, but I feel as if I still need to continue with the DEILD. The same as before happens, but this time I enter into a vivid dream (I was already there).

There is a mirror on covering one whole wall in the bedroom and I hear a song from an acoustic guitar. The music sound generic and unoriginal yet familiar. My reflection has a giant wrench in his hands and is singing into it while bobbing up and down.

Like this guy.



I feel disconnected from it for a second, but quickly we merge as I sing. I have that awkward moment where I am not sure if I am singing in my sleep or not, but I do my best to ignore it. The lyrics just come to me without much thought, "I've got some issues. Yeah some issues. I've got some issues. Yes I do." Then I use the wrench to play guitar with then into my crotch as I use it to do some pelvic thrusts. I turn to the mirror on my wife's closet door and dance a little in front of that. I go out of the room and the song changes, "I'm gonna make great love...great love...yeah great great love. I've got some issues yeah some issues but I'm gonna make great great great love." I recall another goal that involves a dub-step song to try to induce a Star Wars battle. I sing loudly, "Destroy them with lasers!" Unfortunately, the music doesn't change. I say out loud, "Oh ok. I guess we're gonna keep going with this then." I start to sing some more, but the dream quickly fades and I wake up.

A real "fist-pumping" ("Yes!") night, finally.

earlier:

+ restaurant: piles of ravioli, pop a frozen meatball into my mouth, spit it out as it thaws

+ amnesia girlfriend letter, we can start anew, move away

In a private house. My girlfriend's mother is warning me that my letter to my (ex girlfriend?) may have been discovered by my current girlfriend, who may want to break up with me over it. I'm trying to decide if I should tell the truth or make something up. In the end I decide to tell the truth. That's good because my girlfriend in fact found the letter. We sit on the couch to discuss it, her friend is with us. At one point I see one of their faces and make note of her pale blue eyes.

I say that I have amnesia, I honestly can't remember anything that happened before (trigger!), and I think this is great for us because we can now have a fresh start. The GF's friend says "You guys can have a fresh start", and I say "exactly!". I say "we can move away from here [it's expensive to live where we do," but then I think I hate moving, I don't want to pack all this stuff up in to damn boxes. "Maybe to Europe" (no, too expensive) "or Asia somewhere."

+ chinese restaurant counter: order rice several times, cancel them all, then they all arrive, chef offers sparzha-like thing on chopsticks, says "Jung Jie!"

I'm sitting at a counter at a Chinese restaurant (with a two-level shelf in front of me like in a sushi restaurant) in front of the open kitchen. I'm ordering rice and fried rice over and over again using an automated ordering system, and keep canceling the orders, something wasn't right. Then every single rice dish I ordered arrives, about 3-4 little round stainless trays of white rice, and a larger tray of brownish fried rice. Oops, looks like I got all those orders. Then the chef stands in front of me behind the counter and holds out a bite of some wrinkly looking thing like sparzha with chopsticks:



and he says "Jung Jie!" which I think means "eat this!"

+ shoot-out with seizure-faking, freeloading partner who wants to steal my wealth, both guns unloaded, the team gets back together and (runs along rooftops?)

I'm walking through my house, the rooms are full of soft furniture. I find my partner (in business? gang?) sitting in the bathroom, he is unresponsive. He is shaking like he is having a seizure. Foamy spit is dripping down him and covering his hands. I leave him. I then return, I'm angry that he's faking seizures, I'm sure he wants to steal my property, he's living like a freeloader now. I encounter him again, this time his whole (basically naked) body flops onto the ground and he has more "seizures", his body looks extraordinarily lean and gaunt.

We simultaneously present pistols and point them at each other, and pull the trigger at the same time, neither gun fires. We do this a few more times(?).

Outdoors, our gangs/teams are getting back together, I notice some of them are running along the edges of the rooftops of the buildings around us.

+(f) I'm putting my prized bicycle pump into the shopping cart, "it's a great pump," I hope I get it back

+ travel past street of childhood home, point it out to friends, continue through neighborhood becoming increasingly bizarre (property borders extended into streets), the streets become slick steep colored stone ("You can't even ride a bicycles on that!" I exclaim), the environment becomes psychedelic, acid-trippy shapes and colors, fairy-tale surroundings in wacky colors, mushroom statue, scarab temple, explode the scarab priest with my power. I'm astounded at the environment. [This is why I recall dreams, wow.]

I'm walking up F from the LH side (with the bicycle pump group?) and we pass HC on the left, I recognize it and look back to the left and point out my childhood home to the group. The house seems to be a bit like a castle with turrets, etc. We continue walking forwards and down the other side of F towards A. I'm observing the houses on the left as we walk forwards. It's like their property lines were extended. Reaching the corner of F and A, the house on the corner's property line has extended will in to the street and they have built up into this extended area, I think they somehow extended their property in to the street, the houses all look modified. I continue forwards, then look to the left down A street, and notice that it's too narrow now for cars to drive on it, it's just barely wider than a foot path now, and is cobbled in large chunks of jagged stone.

Walking farther down F towards the park beyond A, the houses and landscape are completely not like reality now, the land has become steeply rolling hills, there are houses before me and behind me, fences along the side. The colors have become dark but intense: purples, browns, greens, very psychedelic. Ahead of me is a mushroom statue/fountain, about 4 feet high. I'm amazed at this landscape. I notice the "road" F is now a path on my right, it is paved in slick strips of stone and is bumpy, I exclaim "you can't even ride a bike on that!"

Off to the left I notice a "temple" and enter. Life-sized scarab beetles are worshipping here. I extend my hand towards the priest scarab and will my power into its body so that it will inflate and then explode.

mid-late:

+ observing house down the hill below childhood home backyard which I can fully see into: pet escaped/not fed, woman with mascara

I'm in my childhood home's back lawn, looking farther down the hill to then next house which is 20 or so feet below the lawn, I can see inside and see the people and furnishings. A mother and a child are there, and a pet cage, did the child forget to close/feed the animal? The mother walks around and I catch a glimpse of her face, dark hair with a lot of mascara, I think I've seen her before, (she looks at me briefly?)

+ flight full at airport counter, "But I'm on a business trip!", agent tries to modify ticket so I can get on

I'm at an airport departure gate, I'm looking for the place where we enter the plane, it's beyond the airport counter so I can't just walk there I must go in the line. There's a long line of people standing to talk to an attendant, I go up to another attendant to find out if I need to stand in that longer line. I get out my boarding passes which are the standard rectangular "punch card" paper, and fumble for them to give them, the attendant looks at them and notes they are marked "GC?" (gate clogged?") she says that this means the airplane is overbooked. "But I'm on a business trip!" I say I can't be delayed. She starts talking about how they need to re-issue my tickets for another date (earlier?) so that I can then get on the plane. She says she has to call one guy but he plays by the rules (so it won't work?)

late:

+ (lucid #98) planning some "personal activities," door's open, close door at top of stairs, childhood home, there is no door there, get lucid, downstairs, enjoy the sights, affirm body in bed/waking world/dream-fantasy, take off blurring glasses, go to next room, super bright ultra HD, counter of clerks, tell the girls to come to me, all ignore me, I go back and "firmly encourage" one to engage, feels great, wake up in a few seconds

I'm in a bedroom kneeling before a bed, I'm thinking of performing some "personal activities," I think this is a great position why didn't I think of this before? I'm thinking about some "toys" which may be useful and think of some activities. I notice the door to the room is open, not good, better go close it. I step out into the hallway and recognize I left my sister's bedroom into the upstairs hallway of my childhood home. I reach forwards and close the door at the top of the stairs, I think about punching the lock, there's nobody in the hallway right now. I start to head back to the room and stop and look at that door. There is no such door in this house. The door looks sort of faint and transparent. I suspect a dream and do a nose plug and am now lucid. I head directly down the stairs.

I note that there is a white couch at the bottom of the stairs (false). As I turn towards the left into the living room I catch glimpse of a bright light in the dining room. I walk into the living room and do the Sageous memory-activating affirmation: "I realize my physical body is out there in the waking world asleep in bed and this entire experience is a fantasy taking place inside my mind." I turn around and for a second think maybe too quickly, but things are stable. I think "careful, don't want to think too much of the sleeping body" but the dream is stable. I do notice that vision has become blurred so I reach of and take off the "blurring goggles/glasses" and vision fully returns. I walk a bit back towards the stairs and think about TOTM, but I can't remember any tasks and so I drop it.

I move into the dining room and it is very very bright there, I see a large chandelier with many taper-shaped bulbs. The place now is a large bright room with people in it behind a counter. I note that the faces and objects are ultra-HD. I'm looking at the people behind the counter and notice a few cute girls. I mention for one to come out, but the people just sort of keep shuffling back and forth and ignore me with occasional glances my way.

I get annoyed and decide to go to them, I duck under the counter and go behind it, and walk up to a DC, grab its head and give it a command to perform an action, which it does begin, it feels great for a few seconds, and then the dream fades.

Ritual: wtb 1am, woke 5:45am, wbtb about an hour, take supplements (piracetam, bacopa, choline, alpha-gpc, l-theanine), lay on back, doze off, turn to side, woke 8am to record dream.

DEILD: I half-wake from an unremarkable NLD and realize I can DEILD. As I transition I can distinctly hear a woman's voice speaking, though she wasn't saying anything memorable. After a while I hear a new voice a man responding, and figure this is a good sign, suggesting that the hynagogic state is deepening toward dream. As soon as I feel like I am fully transitioned, I get out of bed. I remember the task I had intended: the storm TOTM. I go outside, intending to summon it, but the dream does not yet feel stabilized and my surroundings become vague. I retransition and realize that there's no reason I should feel constrained by concepts like "inside" and "outside," and decide to summon the storm from right in my bedroom. I look up at the ceiling and it becomes transparent, so that I can see the sky overhead. It is half-lit, with faint stars and gauzy clouds: I will the clouds to thicken and darken.

After another spell of vagueness, maybe a retransition, I go back outside to see if there is evidence of a storm yet. It is working! There is a patch of very heavy dark clouds overhead. It it not yet a full-blown storm so I work on it a little more. I raise my hands and shout, "Wind!" I am modeling this on the scene from the film Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) where he conjures the clouds so it will get dark faster. I decide to add a little more panache: "WIND AND FIRE!" I yell, still gesticulating at the sky. The clouds are roiling and I do see patches of fire, so when it is sufficiently apocalyptic, I fly directly up into the cloudbank.

The effect is disappointing: I have no real sensory impressions apart from sight, and the visibility is very poor. It is hard to distinguish the greyness inside the clouds from the greyness of unformed dream, except that I notice that the fire has coalesced into vaguely anthropomorphic forms that resemble elementals or demons. Although they are distant and none moves to threaten me, I feel vaguely anxious and start singing to reassure myself. The dream destabilizes and I retransition.

I go outside again, and find myself on a slightly elevated walkway; just below is a middle-aged white guy who seems to be gardening. He looks up at me and says with an air of disappointment: "You can do better than this." I feel as though he is chastising me for summoning the storm, and feel a pang of guilt, although there is no rational basis for this. After entering a building, I look down and notice that I am carrying a phone. It is not a contemporary model but resembles those old Nokias with the small monochrome screens that can render text but not graphics. Distinctly legible on the screen is the word: "SmarKu," a mix of lower-case and capital letters as though it were abbreviated from something. The word intrigues me, so I ask:

"SmarKu, what are you?"

"A phone," it answers simply.

Well, duh. I try rephrasing my question, "I mean, what do you represent?"

"..."

Since the phone seems confused or reluctant to answer, I finally resort to a term I dislike, speaking forcefully for emphasis: "What do you symbolize?"

"A pimp and a whore," retorts the phone with an edge of sarcasm.

I can't help but laugh at the inexplicable rudeness of the reply. What is this, a dream version of Tourette's syndrome?

I retransition and go back outside, running across two gentlemen having a heated discussion. I find their conversation boring and don't make any particular effort to remember it, but this reminds me of the thread (I think it was last month's TOTM) where we were discussing the fact that it feels different to "think" something in a dream versus saying it "aloud," even though it is hard to conceptualize the difference. To test this principle, I comment inwardly on how dull their conversation is, and pay attention to how this manifests. I do not "hear" the words with my dream ears, nor do I seem to "speak" them in my dream voice, so it feels no different from thinking something in waking life. I walk over to them and think it directly in their presence, to see if they will respond: "How dully, sir!" (In retrospect it seems like an odd turn of phrase, but it felt natural at the time.) They do not react to me, so it still feels like a private thought. I decide to try a little experiment: I silently will one of the DCs to say these words aloud for me. Without a moment's hesitation, he pipes up to his companion: "How dully, sir!"

This was so successful that I'm encouraged to try again with the second guy. Mischievously, I select the same words that the SmarKu used earlier. Sure enough, the guy says out of nowhere, "A pimp and a whore." At this point I go right up to him and ask, "What do you mean by that?" I expect him to be confused or uncertain about why he said it, but instead he starts explaining himself. This is really unexpected: he is taking responsibility for the phrase as though saying it were his own idea! All I could think was... so DCs rely on dream logic? I... guess that makes sense.

There is a destabilization, and before my eyes I watch the environment fluctuate from brilliant light and clarity to hazy vagueness. I suspect this is due to my own lack of mental focus, slipping too close to wakefulness again, and I tell myself that I don't have to wake up if I don't want to. Back in my bedroom, I maintain dreamstate through a rough patch by singing again and focusing on sensual impressions. As I sing, it feels like my voice is joined by invisible others, singing with me in harmony. This reminds me of my lucid dare—from last year—which I've never quite completed to my satisfaction.

I go back outside, willing it to be stable. I frame my arms around empty air as though around an unseen person and dance, hoping the invisible owner of one of the voices will manifest. No such luck. I notice a DC standing nearby, a middle-aged black man, and ask him, "Have you seen an elf around here?"

"Yes," he replies. Okay, I realize I might have willed him to say that using my new trick, but if it conditions my expectations into manifesting the damn elf, it will have been worth it.

"Who?" I inquire further, a specific name in mind.

"Thranduil," he says promptly, just as I anticipated.

"Where is he?" I don't have an answer to this one, so I'm hoping he'll say something helpful.

He points behind me. "Right over there."

I turn and look, hoping my expectations are primed enough that he will be visible. Afraid not. As I squint into the distance, the man explains helpfully, "You can just barely see him, in the edge of the forest."

I still don't see him but I'll take his word for it. The man goes on, "If you hurry, you might be able to catch him. The best way is to go left up those stairs."

I follow his instructions, wondering I should summon a horse to cover the ground faster, but I don't want to add unnecessary complexity and figure that on horseback is not the best way to climb stairs anyway. The stairs are very rustic and appealing, constructed of irregularly cut slabs of old grey stone, with small plants growing out of the cracks, and a low stone wall on either side. They turn to the right and continue to ascend. I'm climbing as fast as I can and observe that either the steps are getting smaller or I'm getting bigger, because now I'm covering at least a dozen with each stride, but I'm still only halfway to the forest's edge when I wake up and sense that the dream state is unrecoverable.