lucid

A real "fist-pumping" ("Yes!") night, finally.

earlier:

+ restaurant: piles of ravioli, pop a frozen meatball into my mouth, spit it out as it thaws

+ amnesia girlfriend letter, we can start anew, move away

In a private house. My girlfriend's mother is warning me that my letter to my (ex girlfriend?) may have been discovered by my current girlfriend, who may want to break up with me over it. I'm trying to decide if I should tell the truth or make something up. In the end I decide to tell the truth. That's good because my girlfriend in fact found the letter. We sit on the couch to discuss it, her friend is with us. At one point I see one of their faces and make note of her pale blue eyes.

I say that I have amnesia, I honestly can't remember anything that happened before (trigger!), and I think this is great for us because we can now have a fresh start. The GF's friend says "You guys can have a fresh start", and I say "exactly!". I say "we can move away from here [it's expensive to live where we do," but then I think I hate moving, I don't want to pack all this stuff up in to damn boxes. "Maybe to Europe" (no, too expensive) "or Asia somewhere."

+ chinese restaurant counter: order rice several times, cancel them all, then they all arrive, chef offers sparzha-like thing on chopsticks, says "Jung Jie!"

I'm sitting at a counter at a Chinese restaurant (with a two-level shelf in front of me like in a sushi restaurant) in front of the open kitchen. I'm ordering rice and fried rice over and over again using an automated ordering system, and keep canceling the orders, something wasn't right. Then every single rice dish I ordered arrives, about 3-4 little round stainless trays of white rice, and a larger tray of brownish fried rice. Oops, looks like I got all those orders. Then the chef stands in front of me behind the counter and holds out a bite of some wrinkly looking thing like sparzha with chopsticks:



and he says "Jung Jie!" which I think means "eat this!"

+ shoot-out with seizure-faking, freeloading partner who wants to steal my wealth, both guns unloaded, the team gets back together and (runs along rooftops?)

I'm walking through my house, the rooms are full of soft furniture. I find my partner (in business? gang?) sitting in the bathroom, he is unresponsive. He is shaking like he is having a seizure. Foamy spit is dripping down him and covering his hands. I leave him. I then return, I'm angry that he's faking seizures, I'm sure he wants to steal my property, he's living like a freeloader now. I encounter him again, this time his whole (basically naked) body flops onto the ground and he has more "seizures", his body looks extraordinarily lean and gaunt.

We simultaneously present pistols and point them at each other, and pull the trigger at the same time, neither gun fires. We do this a few more times(?).

Outdoors, our gangs/teams are getting back together, I notice some of them are running along the edges of the rooftops of the buildings around us.

+(f) I'm putting my prized bicycle pump into the shopping cart, "it's a great pump," I hope I get it back

+ travel past street of childhood home, point it out to friends, continue through neighborhood becoming increasingly bizarre (property borders extended into streets), the streets become slick steep colored stone ("You can't even ride a bicycles on that!" I exclaim), the environment becomes psychedelic, acid-trippy shapes and colors, fairy-tale surroundings in wacky colors, mushroom statue, scarab temple, explode the scarab priest with my power. I'm astounded at the environment. [This is why I recall dreams, wow.]

I'm walking up F from the LH side (with the bicycle pump group?) and we pass HC on the left, I recognize it and look back to the left and point out my childhood home to the group. The house seems to be a bit like a castle with turrets, etc. We continue walking forwards and down the other side of F towards A. I'm observing the houses on the left as we walk forwards. It's like their property lines were extended. Reaching the corner of F and A, the house on the corner's property line has extended will in to the street and they have built up into this extended area, I think they somehow extended their property in to the street, the houses all look modified. I continue forwards, then look to the left down A street, and notice that it's too narrow now for cars to drive on it, it's just barely wider than a foot path now, and is cobbled in large chunks of jagged stone.

Walking farther down F towards the park beyond A, the houses and landscape are completely not like reality now, the land has become steeply rolling hills, there are houses before me and behind me, fences along the side. The colors have become dark but intense: purples, browns, greens, very psychedelic. Ahead of me is a mushroom statue/fountain, about 4 feet high. I'm amazed at this landscape. I notice the "road" F is now a path on my right, it is paved in slick strips of stone and is bumpy, I exclaim "you can't even ride a bike on that!"

Off to the left I notice a "temple" and enter. Life-sized scarab beetles are worshipping here. I extend my hand towards the priest scarab and will my power into its body so that it will inflate and then explode.

mid-late:

+ observing house down the hill below childhood home backyard which I can fully see into: pet escaped/not fed, woman with mascara

I'm in my childhood home's back lawn, looking farther down the hill to then next house which is 20 or so feet below the lawn, I can see inside and see the people and furnishings. A mother and a child are there, and a pet cage, did the child forget to close/feed the animal? The mother walks around and I catch a glimpse of her face, dark hair with a lot of mascara, I think I've seen her before, (she looks at me briefly?)

+ flight full at airport counter, "But I'm on a business trip!", agent tries to modify ticket so I can get on

I'm at an airport departure gate, I'm looking for the place where we enter the plane, it's beyond the airport counter so I can't just walk there I must go in the line. There's a long line of people standing to talk to an attendant, I go up to another attendant to find out if I need to stand in that longer line. I get out my boarding passes which are the standard rectangular "punch card" paper, and fumble for them to give them, the attendant looks at them and notes they are marked "GC?" (gate clogged?") she says that this means the airplane is overbooked. "But I'm on a business trip!" I say I can't be delayed. She starts talking about how they need to re-issue my tickets for another date (earlier?) so that I can then get on the plane. She says she has to call one guy but he plays by the rules (so it won't work?)

late:

+ (lucid #98) planning some "personal activities," door's open, close door at top of stairs, childhood home, there is no door there, get lucid, downstairs, enjoy the sights, affirm body in bed/waking world/dream-fantasy, take off blurring glasses, go to next room, super bright ultra HD, counter of clerks, tell the girls to come to me, all ignore me, I go back and "firmly encourage" one to engage, feels great, wake up in a few seconds

I'm in a bedroom kneeling before a bed, I'm thinking of performing some "personal activities," I think this is a great position why didn't I think of this before? I'm thinking about some "toys" which may be useful and think of some activities. I notice the door to the room is open, not good, better go close it. I step out into the hallway and recognize I left my sister's bedroom into the upstairs hallway of my childhood home. I reach forwards and close the door at the top of the stairs, I think about punching the lock, there's nobody in the hallway right now. I start to head back to the room and stop and look at that door. There is no such door in this house. The door looks sort of faint and transparent. I suspect a dream and do a nose plug and am now lucid. I head directly down the stairs.

I note that there is a white couch at the bottom of the stairs (false). As I turn towards the left into the living room I catch glimpse of a bright light in the dining room. I walk into the living room and do the Sageous memory-activating affirmation: "I realize my physical body is out there in the waking world asleep in bed and this entire experience is a fantasy taking place inside my mind." I turn around and for a second think maybe too quickly, but things are stable. I think "careful, don't want to think too much of the sleeping body" but the dream is stable. I do notice that vision has become blurred so I reach of and take off the "blurring goggles/glasses" and vision fully returns. I walk a bit back towards the stairs and think about TOTM, but I can't remember any tasks and so I drop it.

I move into the dining room and it is very very bright there, I see a large chandelier with many taper-shaped bulbs. The place now is a large bright room with people in it behind a counter. I note that the faces and objects are ultra-HD. I'm looking at the people behind the counter and notice a few cute girls. I mention for one to come out, but the people just sort of keep shuffling back and forth and ignore me with occasional glances my way.

I get annoyed and decide to go to them, I duck under the counter and go behind it, and walk up to a DC, grab its head and give it a command to perform an action, which it does begin, it feels great for a few seconds, and then the dream fades.

Ritual: wtb 1am, woke 5:45am, wbtb about an hour, take supplements (piracetam, bacopa, choline, alpha-gpc, l-theanine), lay on back, doze off, turn to side, woke 8am to record dream.

DEILD: I half-wake from an unremarkable NLD and realize I can DEILD. As I transition I can distinctly hear a woman's voice speaking, though she wasn't saying anything memorable. After a while I hear a new voice a man responding, and figure this is a good sign, suggesting that the hynagogic state is deepening toward dream. As soon as I feel like I am fully transitioned, I get out of bed. I remember the task I had intended: the storm TOTM. I go outside, intending to summon it, but the dream does not yet feel stabilized and my surroundings become vague. I retransition and realize that there's no reason I should feel constrained by concepts like "inside" and "outside," and decide to summon the storm from right in my bedroom. I look up at the ceiling and it becomes transparent, so that I can see the sky overhead. It is half-lit, with faint stars and gauzy clouds: I will the clouds to thicken and darken.

After another spell of vagueness, maybe a retransition, I go back outside to see if there is evidence of a storm yet. It is working! There is a patch of very heavy dark clouds overhead. It it not yet a full-blown storm so I work on it a little more. I raise my hands and shout, "Wind!" I am modeling this on the scene from the film Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) where he conjures the clouds so it will get dark faster. I decide to add a little more panache: "WIND AND FIRE!" I yell, still gesticulating at the sky. The clouds are roiling and I do see patches of fire, so when it is sufficiently apocalyptic, I fly directly up into the cloudbank.

The effect is disappointing: I have no real sensory impressions apart from sight, and the visibility is very poor. It is hard to distinguish the greyness inside the clouds from the greyness of unformed dream, except that I notice that the fire has coalesced into vaguely anthropomorphic forms that resemble elementals or demons. Although they are distant and none moves to threaten me, I feel vaguely anxious and start singing to reassure myself. The dream destabilizes and I retransition.

I go outside again, and find myself on a slightly elevated walkway; just below is a middle-aged white guy who seems to be gardening. He looks up at me and says with an air of disappointment: "You can do better than this." I feel as though he is chastising me for summoning the storm, and feel a pang of guilt, although there is no rational basis for this. After entering a building, I look down and notice that I am carrying a phone. It is not a contemporary model but resembles those old Nokias with the small monochrome screens that can render text but not graphics. Distinctly legible on the screen is the word: "SmarKu," a mix of lower-case and capital letters as though it were abbreviated from something. The word intrigues me, so I ask:

"SmarKu, what are you?"

"A phone," it answers simply.

Well, duh. I try rephrasing my question, "I mean, what do you represent?"

"..."

Since the phone seems confused or reluctant to answer, I finally resort to a term I dislike, speaking forcefully for emphasis: "What do you symbolize?"

"A pimp and a whore," retorts the phone with an edge of sarcasm.

I can't help but laugh at the inexplicable rudeness of the reply. What is this, a dream version of Tourette's syndrome?

I retransition and go back outside, running across two gentlemen having a heated discussion. I find their conversation boring and don't make any particular effort to remember it, but this reminds me of the thread (I think it was last month's TOTM) where we were discussing the fact that it feels different to "think" something in a dream versus saying it "aloud," even though it is hard to conceptualize the difference. To test this principle, I comment inwardly on how dull their conversation is, and pay attention to how this manifests. I do not "hear" the words with my dream ears, nor do I seem to "speak" them in my dream voice, so it feels no different from thinking something in waking life. I walk over to them and think it directly in their presence, to see if they will respond: "How dully, sir!" (In retrospect it seems like an odd turn of phrase, but it felt natural at the time.) They do not react to me, so it still feels like a private thought. I decide to try a little experiment: I silently will one of the DCs to say these words aloud for me. Without a moment's hesitation, he pipes up to his companion: "How dully, sir!"

This was so successful that I'm encouraged to try again with the second guy. Mischievously, I select the same words that the SmarKu used earlier. Sure enough, the guy says out of nowhere, "A pimp and a whore." At this point I go right up to him and ask, "What do you mean by that?" I expect him to be confused or uncertain about why he said it, but instead he starts explaining himself. This is really unexpected: he is taking responsibility for the phrase as though saying it were his own idea! All I could think was... so DCs rely on dream logic? I... guess that makes sense.

There is a destabilization, and before my eyes I watch the environment fluctuate from brilliant light and clarity to hazy vagueness. I suspect this is due to my own lack of mental focus, slipping too close to wakefulness again, and I tell myself that I don't have to wake up if I don't want to. Back in my bedroom, I maintain dreamstate through a rough patch by singing again and focusing on sensual impressions. As I sing, it feels like my voice is joined by invisible others, singing with me in harmony. This reminds me of my lucid dare—from last year—which I've never quite completed to my satisfaction.

I go back outside, willing it to be stable. I frame my arms around empty air as though around an unseen person and dance, hoping the invisible owner of one of the voices will manifest. No such luck. I notice a DC standing nearby, a middle-aged black man, and ask him, "Have you seen an elf around here?"

"Yes," he replies. Okay, I realize I might have willed him to say that using my new trick, but if it conditions my expectations into manifesting the damn elf, it will have been worth it.

"Who?" I inquire further, a specific name in mind.

"Thranduil," he says promptly, just as I anticipated.

"Where is he?" I don't have an answer to this one, so I'm hoping he'll say something helpful.

He points behind me. "Right over there."

I turn and look, hoping my expectations are primed enough that he will be visible. Afraid not. As I squint into the distance, the man explains helpfully, "You can just barely see him, in the edge of the forest."

I still don't see him but I'll take his word for it. The man goes on, "If you hurry, you might be able to catch him. The best way is to go left up those stairs."

I follow his instructions, wondering I should summon a horse to cover the ground faster, but I don't want to add unnecessary complexity and figure that on horseback is not the best way to climb stairs anyway. The stairs are very rustic and appealing, constructed of irregularly cut slabs of old grey stone, with small plants growing out of the cracks, and a low stone wall on either side. They turn to the right and continue to ascend. I'm climbing as fast as I can and observe that either the steps are getting smaller or I'm getting bigger, because now I'm covering at least a dozen with each stride, but I'm still only halfway to the forest's edge when I wake up and sense that the dream state is unrecoverable.

In this dream I was standing in a hotel lobby. A beautiful curly, red haired woman walked through the doorway wearing a one piece bathing suit. Bah boom, I’m lucid! I immediately said, “Woo Hoo!” The blonde woman beside looked less than impressed with what I said, but the red haired woman smiled. They were both in their 20’s. She walked past me and said, “Thank you.” Probably my great aunt. Then to my surprise, my mom walked in and I said, “Hi mom, thanks for stopping by! Ah, sorry for saying ‘woo hoo’.” My mom looked at me and said, “What?” The blonde woman spoke up and said, “She didn’t hear what you said.” I really wasn’t at all concerned, because my mom has seen me do much worse, and I was just being polite. Behind my mom was one of her best friends, Doris.

I walked with my mom and Doris into a room off the lobby. It was cluttered with junk, and looked more like a storage area full of very old furniture and belongings. The blonde haired woman and the redhead followed behind us, and then they gradually aged to be in their late 50’s (probably so I wouldn’t be distracted). Doris was looking carefully at the stuff in the room. I put my arm around my mom’s waist and walked around the room checking out the ‘old stuff’. I asked Doris how her son Dave was doing, and she looked momentarily confused, then replied, “Fine.” I felt my lucidity failing, so immediately started to swirl, but I woke up.

I was consciously awake, but my body was asleep. ‘The vibrations’ started, then I leapt to me feet, and I was ‘off to the races’ (OBE). There is a blank in my memory regarding what happened next, but I ended up at our neighbourhood park wearing my CPAP mask, and I was still wrapped in my blanket. I tore all this crap off, and then to my dismay, the only thing I was wearing was my gotch. Right in front of me was the park’s bridge, surrounded by cattails. Out in the cattails was a big barking dog, which suddenly came running straight at me! I felt a bit scared, and then I reminded myself that I was lucid. The dog then turned into a small poodle, and it stood right beside me wagging its tail.

A fire truck then pulled up on the opposite side of the bridge. Three firemen jumped out of the truck and grabbed a coiled up fire hose, and they came running over the bridge, all humped together carrying the hose, and they didn’t even notice me. They ran right past me, and then continued across the park’s field. Where they were going, I had no idea, but there certainly weren’t any fires around here. I thought to myself, “So, this is what firemen dream about.” The little poodle disappeared and a woman appeared on the opposite side of the bridge. I tried to fly to the woman, but I couldn’t get much altitude and I landed on the hill beside her, and then I was back in bed.

...
First time WILD!!

This was the most spectacular LD of my life!!

And it was so easy that I almost wondered if it was a WILD, but it was. And I took my bed with me!

Being tired, I lay down for an afternoon nap and got quite lively HHs. Just been watching them, and from time to time imagining doing something physical in the scenery, but I did not get to feel that or enter these HHs, so I just watched dispassionately. When I started to do some mantra self-suggestions twice, the HHs went away, so I stayed without words. It felt as if I could look through my eyelids couple of times, seeing my room, but upon trying to see if it's a dream, I opened them for real, closed them disappointedly and continued.

Suddenly* I still lie on my bed with nose dug in blanket but in space! *(sorry, if that isn't very informative, I know it no better...)

It "stands" there in the midst of nothing, like a cosy theatre balcony for galactical audiences - and before my eyes stars are roiling and surging every which way, uncountably many, so dense from time to time as if they were spray, foam on the waters of vacuum.

A black hole comes rolling through, swirling and drawing in my space and sweeping up my stars, but it passes the bed by and disappears to the left side of infinity.

Checking data for Sageous' memory thread, all accessible, without effort. I know I am in the bed, I am in for real, where it actually stands and when, that I took it for a ride into my lucid dream, blanket and all. I also knew what I did before lying down - also in hindsight this was satisfactory - correct actually. But I was of a fuzzy, dreamy mind anyway, like when not sober, you can anyway remember who you are. Usually.
Then I imagine two galaxies like on the pictures I have, but my dream has other ideas for a while.

Instead windows open in space to other space, star-density reducing to a realistical view. And then another window and another and another, and I fly my bed through them all, clutching my blanket.

And so I enter a space with distant round disks rotating slowly and sparkling with colour and I "brake" my bed.
A huge tornado of space clouds appears to my left, spiralling around a centre of black with alarming speed. Looking very much like this:



Ah I think, this is the action I'm here for! Now where is the other one?
I get drawn closer and closer and lose my bed and start to race around the centre myself until I feel dizzy with dream-vertigo! Like an unbidden joke it comes to my mind, that one shouldn't throw up in space, if at all avoidable, even without a spacesuit, but it does not come to that.

Again I draw on the pictures I have, like this one:



My galaxy is all black and white, and it seems to understand me wrongly. I want another galaxy, so what it does is parting into two - it sprouts something like a feeler made of stars and births another smaller galaxy, like running the above with the arrow of time pointing in the wrong direction.

Well - I admit it wasn't as spectacularly beautiful as the real thing above, but I was and still am blown away anyway and definitely.

I think, this is no good, beautiful but wrong way round. I leave it happening, but once the baby galaxy dislodges itself - I draw it back in, meanwhile I am the swirl myself, I lose my human body and become star-cloud, sprouting out another feeler, this time I actually feel the draw of gravity I have and thus catch my baby back into the fold. With a plop. Hukif's call, but I guess this was the same as two different galaxies colliding, mechanism-wise.

Then I get drawn out of being the plane and see my galaxy from above and fading out and I wake up.
The only thing, which could have possibly topped this amazing trip would have been colour in birth and collision.

WOW!!

It was unremarkable lucid dream, I was walking around and searched for differences, but nothing seemed to be out of ordinary.

At the end of LD when my sight became more and more unclear, I met some brunette(I couldn't recognize her, but I felt it was someone close to me) in great distress. She was panicking. I don't know why. But I took her hand to stop her from running aimlessly and said. "Please stay still, don't stress yourself. Wake yourself! This is only a dream. Relax your mind. I'm with you. You are safe." And she quieted herself. After a few subjective minutes, during which I was loosing connection to that LD, I woke up.

2.9.15 Last night bed around 11 pm

Up today at 7:35

8:30 Took 2x Alpha GPC

Was gona take my last 2 pills of GM at 9:25, but there is some construction going on, so I didnt want to waste it. Besides, I wanted to see if alpha GPC choline would work just by itself. And also, I used to WILD like this daily and gotten DEILDs to wazoo. And what do you know, it worked.

Mantras as falling asleep:
I look at my hands and realize I'm dreaming
When I see I get up
Nosexnosexnosex

As I was falling asleep, I was thinking of the TOTMs and that I forgot to read what they are. I remembered the "microwave yourself" that I didn't like last time, so I decided to redo my Valentines cards from last time. I imagined opening a mailbox and there would be a note simply folded up, or just a postcard, so don't even need to unfold.

Also, I fed my cats so they can poop and fall asleep before my attempt. It worked. But my boy still found me about 10 min into it and jumped on me. He absolutely loves my new bath robe that I'm wearing for these attempts, coz it has a badass hood that I pull over my eyes.

I started to feel buzzing in my head as I usually do pretty soon, and was still up when church bells rang at 10am.

Woke up at 11:50 after a longass lucid.

Valentine Cards 2
Don't remember how I got lucid. I started walking through this neghborhood with highrises on the left, and grassy area on the right. That's where I saw a red mailbox. Those typical US ones, standing on a pole. I figured this will be as good as any and I opened it. Now I was in a room with others watching me opening the cards. They were all of the same type. Like those kids give eachother at school with a piece of candy. Just a simple folded card, white and pink.

At some point I was amazed and pleased how long this lucid is getting.

I started opening them and read them all carefully. Looked for who it is for and from whom. They were all so funny. Mix of english and german. One made me laugh, all in german, something about miene liebe, shiezen,...

I tried to hard to remember them. But before that, I was gonna take a notebook and write them down so I remember them when I wake up, but I realized it won't work, haha. So after I read like 7 of them, I found those first ones and reread them again, amazed that the text is the same as was first time. And lol, one card was from me.

Flying
I was in a 3 story house. Walking all over, getting yelled at by some woman for walking on her sofa with my shoes. I went on a balcony and floated down to the one below and then next one. Just to amaze the people there. One kid asked me if I can tell him how I do it. I took his hand, tied him to me, and I took him to float with me.

Then I was flying in swimming fashion, when I realized I don't have to do that. I can just "stand" in the air and move my upper body just a bit in the direction I want to go. Kinda like a hummingbird. So I did that. I was surprised on the speed and hight and lack off effort.

At some point, maybe before I started flying, I was on the ground trying to lift off, but couldn't. I felt the normal gravity and it just wasn't letting me fly. So I closed my eyes and cleared my mind (wtf) and with my thoughts I started hovering. Someone said "see, thats how you do it".

So as we are flying with this kid on a string behind me, I notice he is getting sleepy. I ask him about it and he is falling asleep. I take him in my arms and hold him like a baby and tell him I'm gonna find him a chair.

Come to a place like outdoor caffee. 2-3 tables. I eyeball a chair that has a pack of cigaretts on it, but I think it's bag of candy, till I look closer. Obama sitting in the next chair tells the guy "don't you see who this is? Give her your chair." So I put the kid in the chair and we fly off again.

It wasn't a very high lucidity lucid, and who knows, maybe that's why it lasted this long. But I remembered my goals, how to do things, and it was awesome.

I logged on to Dreamviews to see that every DJ entry except for the ones tagged with 'Memorable' Were now gone. There were only the five most recent entries with a 'Memorable' tag on them in my DJ. I also had a bunch of notifications (12 I think).


I was living on an aircraft carrier. (Actually I think it was like the flying heli-carrier from Avengers.) We were docked just offshore in NYC, and were in the process of leaving. On it were a bunch of people along with their guides, or so I assumed. There were some people with two or three guides there. I think I saw my friend C as well as Dawn.

I became a little bit lucid and decided to (for some reason) ask Manei what she thought of the Spirit Science videos. (A little context: Yesterday, I made a post on meditation, and in one of the replies, somebody sent me a Spirit Science video. I've actually watched these a lot in the past, and if you're interested I would recommend looking them up. The narrators' voice kinda annoys me though.)

Anyways she stated that sometimes those videos seem a bit gimmicky to her, but in the end, their interpretation of philosophies and general take on the world are really good.

The two of us got food from the cafeteria and sat on the edge of the deck carrier together.

There was much more to this dream but I can't remember it.


FA'd laying on the sidewalk. I had two blankets on me. I was in my subdivision, next street over from where I live, and it was a dark, cold night. A woman was standing there asking me if I knew where bus number 31 was. She said that it was supposed to be here at 8:10 and it was now 8:30. She was wondering if she had missed it.

"I don't know... for all I know this is just a bad dream-"

I looked at the moon in the sky. It was there all right, but it was about ten times bigger than it should have been. I looked away and looked back and the moon had been replaced with a multicolored gas planet.

Actually, I'm pretty sure this is just a dream. Hey, lady, pinch your nose like this *does nose pinch RC* Can you breathe?

"Oh my gosh! I can!"

She started to get really excited, like a new lucid dreamer would.

"This is called lucid dreaming, look it up. And if you get the chance-"

She disappeared from the dream with a humorous 'pop' sound.

"-my name is JadeGreen... "

I grumbled to myself that I didn't get to finish thinking about how that would be a really interesting way to show shared dreaming. I then asked myself if shared dreaming is even really possible. I realized that I don't have a solid answer on either side.

The dream went semi lucid here. I was trying to avoid these guard/searchlight towers that had appeared around my neighborhood. I thought I could fly but due to poor lucidity and practice as of late, my flying would always cut out a few seconds after I started.

Morning of February 9, 2015. Monday.



For quite some time I am looking at old family photographs on my computer. There is one part where there are also videos below the photographs, several full-screen ones, but columned down the screen, all playing at the same time, which is a bit annoying. Still, I manage to learn of an unknown (fictional) teenage girl having been a friend of the family for a long time. Meanwhile, I realize it is a bit cold and the front door to the apartment is open (though we live in a one-family house in reality). The heating is working but I think of telling my wife about the open front door instead of just closing it. (It is the opposite in reality - too hot and with a fan on next to the bed.)

The unknown girl’s name is Stella Womack. This is likely a typical dream distortion, in this case, of “still a woman” (the name being completely unfamiliar to me otherwise though there are people with the name in reality).

Some sort of intense in-dream mystery seems to build. This girl had photographs taken numerous times with members of my family and at a few different addresses we had lived. Somehow, something is not explainable, yet I do not become lucid over this nonexistent person having been photographed and filmed for so long. Perhaps my memory has failed and I had somehow forgotten about her. I decide to talk to my wife and find out more about all the photographs. Perhaps I had somehow just not seen any of these photographs and thus was unaware of her all this time. In the last image I see, she is standing in the kitchen holding a guinea pig and there is also a small dog on the table. Oddly, she has her mouth over the head of the guinea pig, but not so it would be unable to breathe.

My wife is lying in bed and I walk in and talk to her about this Womack girl. I remember another photograph of her standing in a kitchen. I clearly see all the hanging utensils and other details. My wife seems uncertain about why I seem confused over the photographs. She suddenly shouts “you’re dreaming!” From here she either becomes, or is replaced by, a human-sized guinea pig with its jaw hanging open and with wide overly large glassy eyes (with the impression that it was the guinea pig that had yelled and “died” or became completely still). This image remains completely “frozen”. Even though it feels as if I am wide awake now, as “real” as reality, I also have a strange awareness which is almost like coming out of a fog. (This is at least a partial result of the “thank you for telling me when I am dreaming” meditation - but to where it is now a part of my normal thinking - yes, all it takes is simple thinking, as with anything else, which transforms into actual belief and automatic responses over time - though certain mental patterns and “abilities” seem to take over twenty years to hone perfectly with light three-minute affirmation sessions throughout every day, many thousands of which I developed over time since childhood.)

Becoming fully lucid, I wander off into a typical random “let’s have sex” neighborhood - fully aware that I am always the maker of all my dreams (both lucid and non-lucid - something I have accepted since I was very young) - and easily rip the front doors off the first house I come to and throw them into the front yard behind me. Three perfect copies of my beautiful wife are lounging around in the living room. There are at least two other people around, somewhere in the house, but I ignore their presence at first. Obviously, full passive cooperation follows as I sit down on the couch and have one at a time over what seems about an hour. Only one copy is wearing reading glasses, the pair she has used only rarely in reality. Another copy is several years younger.

At one point, another male walks out from the hallway and is standing behind the couch, almost like some sort of brainless Sims character meandering about - as I sense no intelligence or consciousness as I do with my wives. I do not really feel threatened or judged but I am somewhat annoyed by some sort of incoherent muffled vocalization on his part (he seemingly represents the typical imposing nature of everyman) - so I somehow fling my arms backwards, grab him by the shoulders, fold him into a paper airplane, and fling him back into the hallway.

For seemingly about twenty minutes, I relax in my dream between sexual acts, cheerfully admiring my dream’s environment, sitting there and contemplating how amazing it is that I feel exactly the same as I do when awake (though this dream is far more vivid and with more conscious “depth” than typical lucid dream types - as I am in complete “automatic” control and focus throughout). I look around the room. There is a small bedroom on my left side. The hallway on the other side of the room is in front of me. The couch (near the center of the room) faces away from the front door. At no time does the room change size or change in any other way (as is typical in non-lucid dreams and even some lucid ones).

I look up and behind me and see at least four large silver wind chimes hanging from the ceiling; the same direction as the couch is oriented but arranged over the length of the room, north to south. They are crescent moons and five-pointed stars. The ceiling reflects the very slight motions of the wind chimes perfectly, both in the cast shadows and the silvery reflections of each star and crescent moon, which captures my attention for a few minutes, it is so amazingly beautiful and bringing a deep sense of peace. I briefly focus on how it is possible for the movements to be so accurate. In fact, I deliberately study the reflections on the ceiling caused by a particular wind chime and watch the very slight movement which is rendered exactly on the ceiling in shadow and light simultaneously - just as it would be in reality. This pleases me and I amazed by the correct details. I could sit here admiring the designs for hours.

I indulge in lovemaking three times before the telephone wakes me up in the middle of my third climax. It is a sudden shift from what seemed like an alternate reality - but the speed at which my in-dream awareness drops and “breaks” and then rises again as I wake gives me a slight headache. The first lovemaking is “normal” but the second (in reading glasses at first) involves a delay as she is wearing at least two layers of very sheer white cloth over nearly her entire body. It takes a bit of time to “scrape” the pieces off into various small shreds and the visual detail, both bodily and concerning the cloth, is extraordinary - I do get most of the first layer off - still, I lose patience and climax on the outside, still seeing her darker pinkness through the transparent but grid-patterned cloth. The third act involves the youngest version coming back from the bedroom (though she had been in the living room earlier) and this one gives oral - the beginning being almost like a “vacuuming” effect on me and with the enhanced “tickle” and eventual beginning climax - but then the telephone rings in reality.

In my wife’s dream, she was looking at lady’s pajama pants with stars and moons, wondering if she wanted to wear them - not shared dreaming but still a linking element.

At 17:00 in the afternoon I did a little visualization exercise, sitting in an armchair. Went to bed for half an hour at 11:00, and again at 12:00 doing once more a little visualization exercise . WBTB at 05:00, and then went to my armchair and tried to visualize-sleep. I didn't sleep for almost one hour - and no interesting visualizations - and went back to bed. Slept almost immediately, and at some point I found myself in bed, awake. I imagined moving, and immediately I felt a strong pushing sensation. I didn't separate at once, so I changed visualizations while trying to relax at the same time - the feeling intensified and I rolled and fell off the bed - that's the first time I've felt falling off the bed. I got up - in blindness - admiring the reality of the sensation of touch, but the room was very different - I was in a dream room. I walk in the room and in the adjacent one, and start seeing a few things but it's almost totally dark. I affirm - according to my plan - that I lucid dream every night, but unfortunately I forgot to stabilize the dream. I went between the bed and the wardrobe, raised my hands and intended the ceiling to split in half and reveal a daylight sky. After sometime, a bright split appears ...

( the split was similar to the light)

...and the walls and ceiling move apart revealing a morning sky. At that point my wife moves, I feel my body and I am back in bed...
Still some light is in front of me, so I know its an in-between state. I imagine movement again, I feel the rush once more and I am in my dream body... But it's dark again, the dream is very unstable this time and soon I am in my bed again - this time it's dark - I can see my real room. I didn't get up right away, so I forgot a few details.




.

Almost skipped wbtb, but woke up had around 80 mg caffeine double espresso, 500mg lecithin and spent some time reviewing the goals but not too much.

I feel some pressure in the bladder and make a note that preferably need to go before lds start. I'm in the process of falling asleep and I begin to see this picture more clearly, it's useless as a scene (drawn face open mouth), but just concentrate on it to focus, it begins to move inside like a tunnel. Scene change ethereal layer, running backwards, then new scene.

Finally, a bed scene, very realistic and with full body, got integrated in the body really fast, ready to move, carefully get up from bed. Move around a bit. My old room, head towards the balcony. Old doors, closed but not locked, open them. I go outside, it's magical. The sun is shining, the sky is clear blue, very vivid colors. I can feel the warmth of the sunshine and also hear a happy song coming from far away. The change in colors and light from the darkness in bed the moment before is impressive. I can also feel a very pleasant breeze and notice the plants to my side and remember one of my goals to interact with them. The dream thins out and I wake up.

I pay a short visit to the bathroom and review the dream.

Soon after I fall asleep, find myself back into our old place again. This time I face a dark room but decide to go inside. There is a sofa right in front of me and I roll it over, thinking super strength it becomes very light. Beneath it another sofa covered with clothes. I recall my clean up goal (try to bring order into ld, see what happens) and start throwing clothes to the sides, cleaning up the sofa of objects. Some more appear but I am almost done, finally I sweep the last clothes to the side and just observe if anything will happen (but with blank mind). The dream thins out.

I find myself in the living room of the same place, parents here walking around, we talked about something (rather made some comments). Everything is super vivid, bright and colorful again although the definition of objects not as good, rather blurry. I walk around the room and look at as many objects and furniture as possible, noting how orderly this room is. Everything seems at the right place and the furniture is more or less the same. The only objects not quite from this room originally are a buddhist medallion and a large chunk of amethyst crystal on the floor. I tk it up and dad catches it.

I recall the storm task and head towards the balcony. I'm thinking, ok, how am going to change the weather which is bright and sunny as can be perceived inside the room to bad weather. By the time I reach the window, the sky is fully covered in clouds and it's already raining. Well, that's quite convenient and I take a moment to think how my thought manifested so quickly. The only thing I need right now is some wind and I want to add a few tornadoes too. I stare at the horizon which brings the memory of many storms and alien invasion dreams and this facilitates the creation of more stormy conditions. I tell dad to help me with this, more as an act of self assurance, then twist the clouds a bit till I form a tornado and another one just next to it. I look to the side and see a huge one has appeared very close to where we are now. I think briefly about this, then the dream fades.

I find myself back in my old room, thinking that I've been having all my dreams in our old place today. Mom and dad are still here too, they come and start hugging me while I'm watching our reflection in the window. I remember the candy store task and decide it's time to leave the building, heading over the balcony. Mom is overly concerned about this but I go ahead and stretch/climb down and then jump the last part of the distance. Some slight instability but the dream is still here. I walk around and move my eyes from object to object trying to simulate and stimulate REM as I feel the dream slipping away. I think about where I am headed, my instinct is to go to where there are some stores down the street, though that feels too far for me to make it. I wonder if just turning right the other corner wouldn't be a better idea. Still decide for the original stores. All this contemplation leads to the place changing and something that looks like a street pops up where there isn't one, I examine it to see if there are any stores but it's more like residential buildings.

I continue down the street where there are some scary looking guys with guns. There is another group fighting them, later the two groups mix. The whole street changes and while I'm trying to evade them I lose lucidity.

Wake. Review.

Other dreams I can't recall. Short ld moment where I watch my reflection this time in a tv. I make myself float up in the air and then plank while floating. My reflection does the same, perhaps even better than me. I'm excited because I realize that I am also manipulating my reflection's movements.

#409 - DIELD - 6:06AM

I have a long and confusing dream about sleeping at my parents old house. The time keeps changing and I worry about getting up for work on time. The early details aren't important, but my parents eventually tell me they are leaving to go to a tomato festival. They leave my room and I lay there for a moment. Suddenly, I hear a terrible scream and cats fighting. I rush to the top of the stairs and see my cats running out of a bedroom at the bottom with tails fluffed out.

I wake slightly and relax back into the dream. I am the stairs again and I go down to the room at the bottom. It's dark in there and I feel like something evil is hiding in the room. I spend some time calling out whatever monster may be lurking with various forms of profanity, but nothing happens. Then, I fearfully reach into the room and try the light switch, but, of course, that doesn't work either. I decide this is all stupid and leave out the back door. As I step out, the cats rush past me into the yard. This makes me worry that something is following me so I turn and walk backwards a while. Thankfully, nothing is there. The house seems extra dark now that I am standing in full sunlight and I turn to have a look at the dream environment. The colors of the trees are a extra vivid and bright green, but also very dream like and blurry at the edges of my vision. I feel awe and peace and this makes me want to fly up into the sky. Before I can do anything else, I suddenly wake without warning.

#408- DEILD - 4:45AM

Quick WBTB. Galantamine and DMAE.

I wake slightly and enter vibration and have my usual SP time. I can't get anywhere so I decide to just enjoy the moment. I relax and begin to feel myself float then, slip off the bed. I watch as a fall deep into a void in the floor. I can see my bedside getting smaller and smaller. I fall fast for a long time. I wonder if I will pop out on the other side of the earth. At that thought, I feel gravity shift and I start to fall up. This doesn't last long and I land back in bed. I relax and focus while remaining thoughtless.

I am now walking in the living room. I am glad the dream has started and make my way outside. My son is in the room and presses against me to be picked up. I decide it would be fun to take him along with me. He feels cumbersome to carry so I just imagine that he is somehow attached to me and continue on without worrying too much about actually carrying him.

It's rainy outside and looks like early dawn. I walk into the street and remember that I was going to go for the Pegasus TOTY. I call out for Pegasus and look around expectantly. Nothing shows up so I turn around to think about something else. I see my son has been trailing behind me and I get an idea. I say, "R, be Pegasus." as I hop on his back. He's on all fours but nothing is happening. I feel bad at this sight, so I stand up and take a less rushed approach. I say, "R, turn now into Pegasus." I watch as he quickly morphs into only the front half of a white stallion. He's just a horse head with front legs. This is a horrible sight and look away for a quick second. This was a bad idea because when I turn back to look, he has vanished. I spin around trying to see if he walked around me, but he is nowhere to be found. I quietly whisper, "Shit." I decide to forget about it the whole thing as I look at the colorful dawn in on the horizon just above the trees. I decide to fly without much thought and I zoom toward the sunrise at an amazing speed. I can hear the wind rushing in my ears as the dream collapses

I am back in SP and vibrations. This time the sound of it so strange and creepy. It' like demonic children shrieking in either anger or agony. Before fear can get the best of me I decide to let it go and not focus on SP or vibes or anything else. I remind myself that SP is not the goal and I quickly fall into mediation for a moment. My awareness doesn't fade but I feel my body come back into the waking world. I feel like I could go back in, but I decide I should try to DJ before I fall into non lucid sleep.

In this dream I was in my home, which I didn’t recognize, and my wife was jumping up and down trying to look through cracks in the window blinds. Hmm, I must be dreaming. Let’s check! I looked at my hands, they looked perfectly normal. I took my right point finger and tried to push it through my left hand, nope, it doesn’t pass through. Then I pinched my nose and tried to breathe out, nope, I couldn’t breathe out. I was positive this was dream, so I decided to try and stick my hand through the window. Nope, it wouldn’t pass through. Then I tried to walk through a wall, nope, I couldn’t walk through it. What the heck is going on here? I walked outside, through the front door, and I saw my friend’s RV.

Something looked wrong with its exhaust pipe, so I laid on the ground to take a look. It was totally plugged up with carbon and soot, so I stuck my finger in there to try and clean it out. This didn’t make sense to me because the catalytic converter should of plugged long before this happened. I began to think again that this was dream, so I tried to fly. I flew face down along the asphalt road, grinding my nose in the process, and then I lifted upwards about 1 foot, but I was only travelling at about walking speed. The asphalt road then turned to gravel, and I could hear the wind howling past my ears and I could feel it against my skin, but I was still only going walking speed.

My body was vibrating violently while I flew (new experience). Next I decided to fly upwards, and finally, something worked! I shot up into the sky, and realized my dream environment was only about one city block square. Usually my lucid dreams are as big as the universe. Beyond the city block was an empty grid pattern extending as far as I could see. It seems I had my own personal and private dreamscape and I didn’t know it. This would have been a perfect place to have a peaceful visit. I need to note this experience for the future. I then woke up.

Soon I was back to sleep and in the same house. I didn’t realize I was dreaming. The house seemed familiar to me for reason (duh). I began to wonder where my truck was parked, because I didn’t remember parking it at this house, so I went out the back door to take a look. I couldn’t find my truck anywhere, and I once again began to question if I was dreaming. I did the hand, finger through hand, nose blow, and attempted flight, reality checks but nothing indicated I was dreaming. Hmmm, maybe I’m not dreaming, so I walked back into the house and then I woke up again.

I have a new rule: If I’m questioning if I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming! No more than one reality check needed.

I was walking in a huge crowd of people. I soon notice this was a running marathon competition. I had been twirling and then one hop in till I couldn't do no more. Despite my efforts I soon fell down after being knock over by a girl in the competition. I got up and notice a little boy laughing at me. I wave my hand to him and started walking off in to a less crowed area. While I am seating down, another kid sat next to me and grab the right part of my long sleeve in to his mouth. I tried to pull it back from him but he wouldn't let go. I knock him over and soon begin to realize that the scenery was changing.

The scene change in to a small room with white walls. I indicated that there was two people, I knew I was dreaming and ask one of them to leave. I then told the other person to help with another situation. The two people began to panic, which right after I found myself inside a bathroom. I made an attempt to close my eyes to get to the same place I was before. However that is when I lost lucidity.

At some point through my next couple of non-lucid dreams. I find myself at a park about to cross roads, but then I realize that there's an easier way to get to the destination I'm after. I turn back around, I ask myself what am I doing here? That's when I knew I was in a dream. I begin to explore the park for a short amount of time in till I lost lucidity. Lucidity time: 19 seconds