non-lucid

I am with my family at the Mission City Orthodontist building I used to go to when I younger. The building itself had a different layout than the one I went to in real life and looked a little bit more futuristic but I somehow knew it was the same place. Apparently we came here so my brother could have his mouth x-rayed and examined in preparation for his braces. However, as we are all waiting for the the examination to be over, my mother disappears. The orthodontist finally returned with an x-ray in hand but he looked very disturbed. He proceeded to show us the x-ray he had with him, however, the x-ray was not of my little brother's jaw but of his hand. The x-ray showed there was a large red mass of some sort in his hand. The orthodontist explained that this mass was a malignant tumor. He then stated that he was fully capable of surgically removing this tumor but was unsure how successful it would be at stopping the cancerous growth from spreading. And, in fact, was unsure if it already had spread or not.

My mother walked back into the room and I tried to explain to her what had just transpired. However, every time I tried she would cut me off or told me to stop. I told her it was extremely important but she didn't care. I was furious at her but also distressed at the news we received so I decided to leave and blow off some steam. When I finally left the building and shut the door screamed "god damnit".
The last thing I remember is taking the car and driving around for quite a long period of time.

6/1/13:
Front Back
6/5/13:
Front Back Diagram
6/20/13:
Front Back (Do not mind the weird diagram below, it is for my next dream.)
6/22/13:
Front Back #1 Back #2
6/24/13:
Front Back #1 Back #2 Back #3
6/25/13:
Front Back

Legend: Dream , Semi-Lucid , Lucid , Side notes.

Betrayal:
I'm on some sort of tropical island with some friends. If you walk up the shore, there was a pretty big castle, there was an amusement part inside it. One of the areas inside was like a lego land, me and a friend i don't know rode mine carts in some hellish looking lava place. It was fun though. As we walk outside and back toward the coastline, we notice a Hummer was about to be given away. I enter the contest and win by chance.

Soon after, i walk down toward the shore line and talk to my friends, then i start talking to random people i don't know. After that, everything goes to hell, the FBI start shooting missiles all over the place, and because of that, i take shelter inside the castle. Eventually, the people inside start going insane and every one is killing each other. After a while, most lights are out and the place is blown to hell. I soon find a group of mercenary like people and hang with them.

Our group soon makes it's way toward an exit which leads outside, the bombing has stopped, so me and another person go outside. The guy i'm with says "Sorry about this" and then shoots me with his submachine gun. I feel the bullets hit in various places on my body. After about 18 shots, he stops and then fires one more time to finish me off. One of the bullets hits the right side of my neck and i feel blood come out. I instantly drop after that, i'm not dead though but decide to lay there so he thinks i am.

He eventually leaves and i get up, i feel my neck and there's a little blood but everything else is fine. I guess i'm like a vampire or something. Either way, i start walking and eventually end up at a place that looks like my backyard, i find my dad there but in this dream, i don't recognize him as my dad. I walk up to him and he gives me food and guns for protection. And i find out, not only have people gone crazy, but monsters have invaded, how nice.

He gets up and we go out to this mountain woodland place, we're hiking up the trail to some destination, but a fire has started spreading and we decide to go back. We head back to camp, the only people there now are a guy and a younger girl. My dad disappeared. Anyway, those two are friendly and they go out to collect monster souls which they then use to make potions.

Sword:
My dream has a medieval setting. I'm in some watch tower at night, there's a busy town below. I take a broadsword off a stand. I then exit the tower. As i stroll around the town, i see a computer with skyrim loading, i decide to go over and mess up some settings hehe. But then this ladies mother catches and chases me into this alley. While we were there, i take the sword and stab her. I then flip a secret door open and drag her down into it.

Once we get down there, we're in a room full of my slaves, i lock her up on the wall. As the slaves eat. One asian slave takes her drink and she gets mad, i set there and laugh.

Engineering sector:
I'm in some sort of big rpg world with a team. As we're walking, me and this other lady fall off the bridge, we land in a high level engineering area we haven't unlocked yet. There's some people down here building jets and stuff, the lighting is dark. However, i luckily find my way up and talk to an engineer from tf2. I tell the engineer to go back down and help the lady but he shows me his paintings instead.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was playing AI War with SilentEternity and there was a battle.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was in some anime apparently and was exploring some ruins with a group of people, searching for something. Then i was in and there were some anime girls, then there was group of people who were apparently from certain forum, i joined them and we were celebrating somebody's birthday and there was one person who was trying to fool people. They got weird minitower on the table and i decided to climb it, i got to the top and then jumped down. Then it went back to exploration of ruins.

Dream 3:

I wake up, get up from the bed and do some stuff, i remember that i should do reality check, but before i do it some weird noise comes and i wake up.

Bedtime: ~ 12:30
WBTB: No
Aids: None
Recall: Medium
Vividness: High
Awesome Factor: Medium

I'm in what looks like a high school gymnasium, minus the bleachers, with a bunch of other people. I don't know why we are there, but I don't think we are actually attending high school. The only person there with me that I think I recognize is a middle-aged woman, C, whom I'd had some classes with in grad school.

I think people have sleeping bags and/or are just hanging out on the floor. There is a television at one end of the room, and someone puts on The Avengers. In the dream I don't own the movie yet, and am super excited that it's already out on DVD/Blue-ray.

Suddenly Tom Hiddleston-as-Loki is there in real life, performing his confrontation with Odin in Thor, except that Odin isn't there and Tom/Loki is facing us. He's only a few feet away and I realize, to my delight, that I've basically got front row seats. I'm sitting just behind C. I'm pretty sure we're sitting on the floor. The weird thing is that we're sitting on the stage and Tom is performing from where audience would normally be. (I don't think my dream self considered this weird, though.)

Tom is dressed pretty much the same as Loki in the movie, except he has a neck brace with writing on it, as if friends had written on it like people do on casts in school. Anyway, I feel so lucky to be there, and I'm totally feeling his performance. I actually get shivers. My attraction to him is secondary to the fact that I'm getting to see this amazing actor perform live and so up close.

Tom is gone now, and I realize that I've been resting my forehead on the back of my former classmate's shoulder. I'm disappointed that instead of enjoying Tom's performance fully and maybe getting some eye contact, I've been hiding my face. I'm also distraught about what the C must have thought about the close contact -- we barely know each other, after all. She has gone somewhere, but I decide that when she comes back I'll apologize and tell her I was tired or had a headache.

Next, I'm outside. It is nighttime, and it looks like I'm on or very near a college campus. There's an abandoned building made largely of glass, which I enter. The ground is earth, and I'm excited to see that it is littered with beautiful crystals. I'm particularly in awe of this huge quartz crystal that must be at least 2/3 my height. It is lying flat on the ground. When I come closer to take a look at it, I see that there is a beautiful, large blue topaz crystal inside the giant quartz, maybe six inches from the point. I decide that I must take it home, worrying if I'll be able to carry it, but when I touch it, it feels like plastic and I'm disappointed.

There is a cluster of topaz or aquamarine lying on the ground nearby. These are attached to the matrix, so I'm sure these are real. However, I don't want to dig it up with my bare hands, so I leave to get some kind of tool.

Outside, I meet a college girl. She says I shouldn't be walking around alone at night, though she's doing the same thing. When I tell her or she sees that I'mgoing to the abandoned building with the crystals, she says she knows it, and seems excited to accompany me. (I don't remember if I got a tool or not.) As we approache the building, however, three female employees from a nearby store are keeping watch over it, since people aren't supposed to be entering.


Key thoughts/emotions: Elated, Uplifted, Impressed, Embarrassed, Disappointed


Interpretation: I think this dream says a lot about my beliefs regarding my acting career, or just creativity and self expression in general. I'm watching one of my favorite actors peform; he's totally in the flow, and I'm feeling it as well. I'm on stage, and yet I'm hiding my face.

If the quartz crystal were the human body, the blue topaz would be in about that same region as the fifth chakra, which is seen as blue and associated with creativity and self-expression. I think it's too good to be true (feels like plastic), so I focus on some more realistic mediocre crystals. Yet I don't want to get my hands dirty, so I go looking for a tool and end up locked out and without any crystals.

My original interpretation is that I don't believe that I can really have what I want: an exciting, fulfilling career that puts me in the spotlight (the big quartz with the topaz inside), but I don't want to settle for a mundane job or getting little reward for my efforts (not wanting to get my hands dirty getting the smaller cluster).

Dream dictionary entries, however, suggest that plastic can means not being true to oneself. This would change the interpretation from simply not believing I can have a successful career to not being meant for great things , but not wanting to settle for less.

Both are pretty gloomy interpretations for a dream that initially left me smiling.

Not much for today. I had trouble falling asleep last night. I remember only one dream. For whatever reason, I asked the woman who lives in the apartment across from mine if I could use her shower. She said yes. Then, a girl became involved (she seemed like a tomboy). We were apparently friends. We started messing around, but the woman came home, so she had to hide. The woman found her anyway. I don't remember anything beyond that. At some point, though, I was looking at my crush's Twitter page.

I was also planning on doing a finger-induced lucid dream. I had an alarm set for 4:00 a.m., but I apparently didn't hear it, as I woke up around 8:30. I'll try again tonight.

[Dream 1: Where am I?]

I was in a different school to my usual one, I was wearing different uniform too, it was in black. The setup to the front of the school was weird, I was sitting on some chair with loads of other people who I didn't recognize. There were chairs going across in a straight line and infront of the chair was what looked like one of them barrier thingys at a bar that the bartender is behind. Anyway there was this girl next to me and she looked kinda cute so I created conversation :p I asked her what school this is and she looked at me sorta puzzled. I'm pretty sure she reacted in a way of how do you not know?? Anyway I explained to her that i'm from a different school and i'm not sure how I got here and am in this uniform. We talked a bit more and the conversation expanded, and the person that was near me turned back and looked at us talking towards us. I knew him. From a long time ago, nearly 7 years ago, we went the same primary school. I said his name and said, do you remember me??? We went to the same primary school. He recognized me. I'm pretty sure at this point everyone went to class, but I didn't go for obvious reasons. I remember just sitting there thinking about that girl, I kept thinking if I should of asked her out. I don't know how but I was on her twitter page and she had posted my name on her twitter, a few times actually, in very positive ways. I keep thinking that this dream has a meaning, maybe I will see this friend who I haven't seen for a while.

[Dream 2: Not the usual]

I was at pizza hut and I was getting a pizza with my dad, I kept thinking how odd this was because I'm a very healthy eater and I wouldn't usually go do something like this. We were in the line and there were these special breads they were selling, I picked up one and ate a bit of it.. just taste like bread. My Dad told me off because he said we might have to buy them now, but in the end we didn't.

[Dream 3: Prize race]

This place I was in looked like the map terminal from CoD. There were these arcade machines around us, and there was a competition. We were doing races and whoever won would get some sort of prize, nobody knew what the prize was but I remember there being names of bands on the machine as a clue or something like that. We were against some other players, I recognized some of these people from my school that we were vsing. One of our team went up to race another member but we didn't have much hope in him, so I took his place, it was the final race so we needed to win for the prize. The race began, I sped off, and completely thrashed the opponent. Not too sure what happened after that

- Getting dressed for assembly
- Only piece of paper in my bag was a DnD character sheet
- people leaving the hall, each with a character sheet of their own
- little sky light
- grey decor

I was walking to Subway, and these girls who I didn't know where dancing and scared me for some reason so I hid. I played a little bit of a video game where you have 5 pieces an hour and you fill in the pieces on a bridge (there was a map of the bridge) and walk across.

I texted H, my friend, and told her to meet me there to hangout. She wasn't like her normal friendly self and she was very cold and rude. She told me she had "grown up" now and no longer liked doing any of her previous hobbies "because she had a man to take care of her now".

I remember I was desperately trying to salvage the friendship (over text), but she ignored me. After that, I logged onto Tumblr and it was completely different. I logged onto H's page and you could tell where the curser of everyone viewing the page was.

Some of the other people on there were making fun of me for "not knowing how to use the site" even though I was using it normally. I contemplated how I would get new followers. I clicked on my comments tab (which was only on this new layout.) and I only had one from someone wanting to now what the monsters' names were on a drawing of cute monsters I did.

I went back to playing my video game, and I started over but the pieces I had filled in were still there. The female character (protaganist) was on a rant about Human racism against mythological creatures. The rant was unusually long for a video game character who wasn't in a cutscene. I woke up.

Morning of June 27, 2013. Thursday.



In my dream, I was shopping for food, a not uncommon recurring scene, probably because I do a lot of food shopping for my family in real life. There is almost always something unusual about the food or about my money (such as being printed on only one side though realistic otherwise, or being Monopoly game money, or foreign).

I had selected some supposedly good meat at a store that had opened just recently (or reopened after a long closure - as a few have since the floods here in real life). The cut is unusual, like a very thick and more rounded steak and I have two of them. The manager is there and he is making a claim about how good their food is. There are also two other pieces of meat, perhaps chicken, or a different, smaller cut of beef or pork - and I remember that I had some other items, including cheese or something processed and in a small cardboard container. I soon understand that I had forgotten to wrap the meat pieces up myself prior to purchase as the manager makes a note of it, similar to how a shopper bags his own fruits and vegetables in many cases.

The meat itself looks very strange (although the bone and outside area is seemingly normal), like a sort of transparent and soft pink jelly, although it actually seems more like watermelon, but is still “seen” as “meat”. I can see a total of four cigarettes inside farther down, two in each cut of “steak”. There is this strange idea that they somehow got into the food when it was being processed or “made” (although the idea is pointless, as the meat would be otherwise solid in real life - unless it is a “fake steak” made of various bits of meat). Although these cigarettes are new and unsmoked and encased in the jelly-like meat, I still get the sickly impression of dirty cigarette butts, ashes, and dirty water and chemicals (and people of ill health having touched my supposedly “fresh” food) and a growing disgust at having almost bought this awful “second-hand” or “used” food.

Another shopper, a female of about thirty, is looking at the meat in awe, seemingly being surprised by such a thing being in a store and for sale. As we look down, one of the cigarettes encased inside the pink “meat jelly” somehow lights itself rather brightly and dramatically (with no oxygen yet, although reminding me somewhat of a sparkler, as sparks seem to fly out from the cigarette as well, even when inside the “meat jelly”) and parts of the steak explode from the side, but no one is hurt. Another one does that as well. For some reason, as the cigarettes light themselves and explode and mostly burn up, the more sickening feeling I had lessens just a little, but I still make a mental note not to shop here again and leave everything else here as well without buying anything.

I have not been near a smoker (other than occasionally in public settings around people I do not know) in over twenty years. Neither of my parents nor friends smoked as I was growing up. Also, I rarely eat steak on its own, as I have always found it (even as a child) akin to trying to chew on a shoe. I do eat beef and all meat in other forms, but not nearly as much as other people. Perhaps this is some sort of play on “smoked” meat for whatever reason or more likely, implying that eating a lot of red meat is as unhealthy as smoking.

I have included the “dream journal synchronicity” tag because of this entry which appeared right after mine but with a date just prior to mine: WATERMELON

Morning of June 27, 2013. Thursday.



In my dream, from my orientation and viewpoint, I seemingly remain a normal human being despite what my role is.

I start out being in some sort of makeshift prison or refugee camp. There seem to be only men. The rooms are dirty as if the building had been abandoned long ago, at least for its original purpose, yet used for many years after as it is now seemingly not maintained.

Two men bring a third angry-looking man up to me, a man holding each of the held man’s arms, one on each side of him and with both their hands. I do not like the situation. It is understood that even though I am not a part of the group (as most of them seem either Irish or English), my job is to get them all to safety in another country somehow. Still, that does not explain why this man is angry. Perhaps he does not want to escape with the others, or maybe he is a spy.

There are some odd perceptual changes and scene shifts when I become more annoyed by my location, which seems to be a composite of a very dirty large open bathroom and gymnasium. There is something known about everyone getting out and all going to an area where it will be easier to get to the UK, which is where everyone is escaping to. I am unsure if the UK is their original home, or a place where they will all claim asylum. I am also unsure of what country or city we are in. At times, it seems that I am already in the UK relative to names of areas and later hearing members of the public who speak with a British accent.

The actor Bruce Willis is in the refugee camp, appearing unkempt and desperate. He is not a main character; just a homeless person I see only in the background a couple times.

I seem to be walking on my own later, yet somehow I am “carrying” all the other people from the refugee or prison camp. Not only am I supposedly a large ship, I am a large ship on land, moving fairly fast, yet still fully human of my normal size from my viewpoint, just running along, on my way to freedom, helping many others to get to safety. I stop at the edge of a steep bank of a larger river near a forest. An unfamiliar man and woman of about thirty or more, who appear to be English, point out where I should go (to my right) because that is the general direction of where the “Brit Rivers” are that will eventually lead “us” to freedom, apparently across the ocean, yet the name somehow also seems like a resort or hotel where they had stayed in the past.

From my orientation, it seems I may actually be in Nova Scotia (Canada) and moving north, possibly in Sydney (not in Australia, but the Nova Scotia Sydney - some sort of confusion with the other Sydney, perhaps). It eventually seemingly turns out this refugee or prison camp was in Sydney, Nova Scotia (or somewhere just to the south) for some unknown reason (a vague backstory of England and Nova Scotia at war or dealing with too many refugees), and the plan is to get to the ocean north of Sydney and then swim east from there or, as a ship, to get to the UK. I am a walking human “boat” that is somehow “full of people”, yet again, still normal and human-sized and seemingly on my own.

The most vivid part of my dream starts, with a few dangerous thrills, though I feel wonderful. I jump into the river, vividly feeling the cold water and motions and current - but the current takes me westerly and in the wrong direction - and at times, I barely keep above the surface. Eventually though, I end up going in the right direction. I vividly feel myself moving through the water, again, just barely above the surface at some points, though I am not actually struggling because, after all, I am apparently a boat and just being tossed around like a boat on the rough waves. There is one point when I move swiftly through tunnels a lot like the scene from “The Goonies” (from 1985), which is really thrilling but also a bit worrisome (somewhat claustrophobic and without certainty if it will come to a dead end with no way to get back - a sparsely recurring dream concept). I am then back moving through the ocean on my way to carrying all the escaped prisoners to either their old home or a new one.

---

Dream recall from today's naps.

Dream 1(fragment):

There was something about honey.

Dream 2:

I was playing KKND2 and was building alot of stuff on the base, had lots of resource buildings too, but resources were not coming quickly. And then i realized that none of the buildings had any upgrades researched on them. I quickly started some on res. lab itself and power plant while allied forces were preventing enemy attacks. Shortly all units turned into dots and there was hyper zoom, then fade out.
I wake up and i have a feeling that i am dreaming, i get up but for some reason don't open eyes and there's weird sound. Then i wake up properly. I try to DEILD back but it feels like REM ended.

We're not living in reality. Reality is still in the middle ages, where humanity is fighting a constant war against goblins, what we're living now is paradise. I, with a friend transport from paradise, back to reality, where we're accepted as some god angel saviors during the siege of a human castle by goblins. Another one of our friends is caught by the goblins tho, they torture him in front of the castle in order for us to get out. But the guy they caught was an asshole anyway, shouldnt give the city for him.

1. [non-lucid]
I'm in some sort of dark facility trying to get out alive (it appears to me that I'm in a game like Stealth Bastard), I'm being stealthy hiding behind some brown wooden crates, there are 3 enemies in the room that I can see, I can see their cones of vision.

2. [non-lucid]

fragments:
Pictures of houses
Me sitting in the back off a car dressed as if I'm going to a wedding

Some good recall today.

Dream 1:

I was doing some stuff at home, was going into bathroom but was constantly interrupted, then i was going to some kind store with some people, i didn't know way so was just following. Eventually we found it and it was kinda arabian store, we were searching for a specific movie but haven"t found it. We went through some city places and soon reached another store, which looked exactly the same. Vendor had that movie and he really liked it so he joined us in watching it.
That movie was not a normal movie, but some kind of combination between movie and anime. It was about a group of badass dudes who were traveling through wasteland mountainy areas on the pickup truck and were fighting mutants and talking inbetween the fights. At one point the strongest looking dude got some kind of 'overcharge' power and started destroying lots of enemies, then there was one sniper dude with an irokez who had electrical powers that he should not be using, but then he got 'overcharge' as well, gaining yellow lightning around himself and his sniper rifle turned into laser rifle with red laser. It was quite awesome.

Dream 2:

I was playing some video game that looked like Spore creature stage, except there were some kind of tree mazes and platformer elements all over the place and it was more like usual 3D platformer/adventure game, also there was huge city in background, i had trouble finding the right path around the level. At one point i kinda found the way 'into' background and there were weird statues around.
Then after that level it turned to be RTS and was looking more like Starcraft 2 graphically, i was controlling group of soldiers and was scouting in some jungle-like place. Then i found some kind of enemy base but it was guarded by some creatures that looked like dinosaurs but had insect-like eyes and metallic roar. There were like four big ones than were glowing red or blue when angered, depending on target, and that was switching them to really overpowered mode, plus there were alot of smaller ones. Eventually i figured out the way to get group through, but it there were simply not enough forces to deal with them all.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was playing some japanese shmup and i had weird problems setting resolution, the screen was glitching out while i was trying to fix it.

Dream 4:

I was playing some game and there was global world map, i was able to control nukes and bombers all over the place and i was targeting a few places while fighting off enemy bombers. Then it transitioned into some flat land forest and i apparently could summon trees and they kinda had low gravity, plus there was a level boundary, trees summoned into level boundary were launched at crazy force. I still had access to global map and nukes so i was kinda switching between both, at times global map looked similar to waking world, at other times it was different.