non-lucid

I figured I may as well start my journal now. I'll post what I've recorded in my physical journal so far:

6/22/13
My first dream journal entry! I hope this works...!
I finally had a dream about my love, [name withheld]. Unfortunately, nothing good happened, to say the least. If I recall correctly, she basically told me to stay away from her. I kept following her around, though, listening to her conversations. The weird part was when they [she and her friends] were talking about how women are superior to men. I don't remember whether this was the whole time. I think this was caused by two real-life experiences: I tried staring at [name withheld]'s picture so that I would dream about it [her]; that seems to have finally worked. As for their feminazi conversation, I believe that was caused by me watching that Miller 64 ad where the women beat the men at volleyball. This was my brain discussing with itself. I hope more and better dreams involving [name withheld] will come soon!

6/23/13 [This was probably actually recorded on the 24th. I have a rather piss-poor sense of time.]
Second dream! It took place at school again forgot to mention that before. I missed the bus leaving. Missing buses, now that I think about it, is a recurring theme in my dreams. [Name withheld] was there again, so I think my efforts to make this happen are working. Only time will tell! (PS - My friends and I were heroes of some sort. The Elder Scrolls was involved in some way. I think people were coming after us in the end, though.)

[same day]
Third dream. This one was horrible. It partly took place at school (I've noticed it's rarely my current school in dreams). The bad part was when my mother told me that my baby brother, [name withheld], was dead [she said he was hit by a car]. You can imagine my relief when I woke up. [As a side note, I was a bit anxious afterward. I've heard of several people who dream of their relatives dying, then awakening to find out that it was not just a dream.]

1. [non-lucid] After 3:00 I Think
Was in a car with my step-dad (Ray) driving and my uncle (David) sat in the passenger seat, I assume I'm sat in the back in my wheelchair.
We were following Mum in the car ahead on an American highway, Mum turns off the highway but Ray missed the turning and so we carried on going, there's a toll booth approaching so David got the money ready to pay.

The car we are driving appears to be right hand drive which is odd because were driving in America and of course they have left hand drive cars.

So we drive up to the toll booth pretty fast, Ray throws the money, I don't know where it went because I couldn't see but we got let through. Ray decides to floor it and do a 180 to the other side of the highway, we hit a police officer (African American woman with dark hair) who was walking across the highway and to make things worse there was a green & white police car on the other side that saw the 180 and the collision with an officer, we got told to stop so Ray pulled over in the middle of the road.

The car is now gone and was left just me in my wheelchair in the middle of a highway, the police officer pulls out a gold shiny sticker wrap thing (like the ones they put on your bags in the airport) and put it on my chair.

Fragments:
I had an invalid passport.

2. [non-lucid] Before 3:00 I Think
I think I was in the game GTA: SA and at the edge of the map i climbed a hill and on the other side there was flat grassy land that had craters with sand in them on it kinda like holey cheese, was really weird.


Times:
Sleep: 11:00 Attempted DILD
Alarm: 3:00 Attempted WILD/MILD (Fell asleep I think)
Wake: 8:00 - 9:00
Got up: 10://

3 fragments. Feels like they somehow belong together to one big connected dream, although they are independent situations.

• I meet all the friends of my old clique again. My ex-GF is among them also. I am happy to see all of them and we are walking to some benches in nature to celebrate, we drink alcohol. I have this weird feeling of being unwelcome, as if i had to justify myself and my behavior. They seem very critical and disapproving. Somehow I want to show them that I am still awesome, especially to my ex, and that I'm doing really good without them. There is an enemy feeling that I have never felt among them before. There are some new people who are joining us, I presume they are new friends of them. They are all gangster and have caps and smoke weed and although they seem happy, I feel that they don't like me and that they look down on me. I start introducing myself, they are polite, but they don't seem interested. I am pissed and I make no secret out of it. My friends tell me that I have to sign a gift card for one of the others, so I do that reluctantly. I feel sad and go to two of my closest friends, who give me at least a little love. I am tired and want to sleep, but I am scared that if I do so, the others might paint my face and do weird stuff, after all they are drunk and have been so weird all the time.
  
  First unpleasant fragment in a long while. Vivid with many details and strong feelings/emotions.
  
  
• I am with another group of friends, the ones I study with. We are going to have a nice evening at their house. It is a big house with stairs, many large rooms and a long way to the ceiling. I lose track of where I am, it's so big. I find myself in a storeroom in the cellar without windows, not even with a door, but it is only accessible through a small hole in the wall. I am trapped there, can't come out of the hole. One friend comes and helps me out and we go and join the others, I feel weird among them, as if they got it all right and I am a failure.
  
  The house is completely imaginary, nothing I have seen IWL. Also unpleasant, but not as much as the first fragment.
  
  
• I am with yet another group of friends. We are having a party (third one this night lol. But this time there are only happy vibes). It is a small room, we sit tightly together in a big circle and have fun. One of my old friends even brings his father, who is a mixture of the one he actually is and another friend's father. I welcome both of them and they are happy about that. There is free food and munchies for everyone, there are steaks and pizza all you can eat.
  
  Short fragment, but I liked it very much.

I was at my church, but it was extended. It was like Christmas only hotter, I went down the new hallway and saw rooms with names. I went to the middle of the hallway which had a collage of my uncle and his wife. It seems that she took over the entire church and everyone worshipped her. I went further down the hallway and saw a giant window and a door next to it. I closed my eyes and found myself on the other side of that window. It was like a locker room and all of my friends from middle school were in they locker room. They were fighting in the back while I was screaming and banging at the window pleading people to get me out. "Let me out please I didn't do anything I was framed!" I shouted. Nobody listened, so I went in the back and saw double doors. I went inside and it looked like a construction site room. I went inside and went through the door on the right, I saw a giant room that had a bridge of slippery logs with no railing or any protective hardware. I went back and told everyone about the exit. They then went inside the lockers and grabbed crowbars and bags of clothes. I went and grabbed my crowbar and clothes and we went to the log bridge. There were more than 100 of us and we all fell down the log bridge, one of my best friends had blue blood on his fave when I regained stability. I was pretty sure he was going to die and we worshipped butter. "Hey, remember butter forever!" I shouted, I put my fist up and he put his up. We all got down to the end and was on a platform made of concrete, I saw another construction style corridor. When we were at the stairs my friend stopped us and said "This is the middle of mumbo jumbo". While going up the stairs it was extremely hot, nobody else followed me, but I continued. Security guards came in an SUV, I ran passed and back in the church. I ran in a regular hallway when I saw a group of 3 people talking. One of them saw me and shouted "stop!", I ran and turned. I heard him call for help when a muscular security guard ran to me. I surrendered and found myself back in the locker room prison. The dream ended.

I was watching some anime about mechas. There was something about different countries, alliances and ofcourse fights between huge mechas. Characters has some discussion between fights and there was one woman who really liked being in water, up to the point of having her mecha set up to be able to make a bath about everywhere.
At some point group of the main characters were assaulting some kind of prison which looked like huge area under a dome from inside. Also there was one really badass dude who was once surrounded by some big robotic enemies during one fight under the dome and he was able to deal with them with bare fists and get out of the fight without even being scratched.

Me and my friend decided we were going to go on a road trip. So, we were driving down the highway, and my friend was driving. When I looked over at her, I realized that she was asleep. I panicked, and grabbed the steering wheel. I tried my best to keep the car in the right lane, but I was also trying to find some way to get the break, and she wasn't waking up. So, eventually, I lost focus of steering, and when I looked up, there was a red transport coming for us. I was too shocked to try to steer out of the way, so it hit us head on. Somehow, I wasn't injured, but I noticed the car was on fire, so I got out. I wanted to try to get my friend out, but I didn't know if she was okay, and if she was, she was still asleep. So, I ran away from the car. Once I was at a safe distance, I heard a loud boom, and turned around to see that the car had exploded.


Right when I thought my dreams were getting normal again, this happened xD I guess that's what happens

legend: Dream , Semi-Lucid , Lucid , side notes.

Hotel Dream Lecture:
I had chosen to stay overnight at some hotel. The hotel had shower chambers outside with the guest's name on the shower door. I looked around but couldn't find mine,although i did see a shower with the name "caenis lucidis" on it and inside was a female with a good looking body. I suppose the name was a reference to "CanisLucidus", a user on here that i haven't met before. A little odd but pretty cool.

since i couldn't find my shower, i decided to get in some nearby line, whatever the line was for, i have no idea. As i was waiting, i noticed this person standing on a ladder giving a speech to a crowd about lucid dreaming. After that, i decided i should go get some food, i found myself on my farm looking for food. As i was doing that, i was ambushed by bandits which i quickly gunned down as i was hiding in a bush.

Next thing i know, i'm at this summer camp, these people are bringing giant coke coolers. They have diet coke and reguler coke, they also have tea and i decide i want the tea, but the tea has no ice in it. So i get coke even though i never drink coke in waking life. As im getting it, i literally crush the cup the coke is pouring into and everyone gives me a weird look. xD

Fragment #1: I'm in some sort of old game, it appears to be daggerfall, i'm there inside the game with a couple of friends.

Legend: Dream , Semi-Lucid , Lucid , side notes.

Fragment #1: I remember using a phone app which had a virus on it. The virus transported me inside the game in which i took the place of a lonely ghost.

Fragment #2: I remember being in some sort of jungle collecting resources and blowing things up.

Party: I'm on my farm, my mom is yelling nonstop at my brother, my brother soon leaves. Next thing i know, i've gone to some summer camp, which took place in my basement. While i was in my basement, i noticed a kid and a man. The kid had paid the man 1.3 million dollars to act out something but the man demanded a blowjob from the kid, and the kid didn't want to feel as if he lost his money...so...anyway, i didn't want to watch any of that so i headed up the stairs. As i head up, i see some friends of mine smoking outside and one smoking on the stairs, i tell him something that had the meaning of "don't smoke in here, go outside" because i didn't want the smoke smell in the house.

Eventually, i find myself going to a party with them. I think i remember going to like two of them and then a third one, i don't remember the first two but i do remember the third. At the location of the third party, there was a big dome which had stores in it, on top of the dome was a thorn bush and elevated above that thorn bush was the house the party took place in. It started out with me walking on some wooden stairs up to the house at the top, i saw some other friends there as well. I also notice some idiots diving into the thorn bush on top of the dome. Then, all of a sudden, an alien like creature attacks us. I run over and do a front snap kick and manage to hit it. It then gets up and jumps behind us, i then run over and attempt a chop at it's neck but it dodges it. What happened to it next, i have no clue.

After that little incident, i decide to walk down and check the dome out, there, i meet this lady which tries to teach me warm ups for basketball. ( why my dreamself would do this, i have no clue, i dislike basketball a lot and already know stretches and etc from martial arts). I then see my family in the distance, so i run over to meet them, they decide they want to leave so i go with them. They drove two cars, i get in the one with my dad, who then drives up to a gas station and crashes into it.

Monday 6/24/13

Last night bed 2:30am - 7:49am Nap 8:10am - 10am

Weird dream I was woken up from at 7:49am

I'm in a large house. A friend of mine lives there. She keeps hermit crabs and has aquariums with fancy fish. One of the fish is, dang, I saw his latin name in the dream, he is a small shark family of fish, but decorative for aquariums. I have to look it up. It was something from megalodon's name carcharodon, but cutsied up.

2 friends of mine are visiting and they wanna help with filling up the aquariums with fresh water. Or maybe they work for me, because I'm telling them to do it right and to listen to instructions. Looking for containers to fill with water and let the water sit there for a while before putting it in the tank.

There is an old guy, possibly the owner, who is harrasing the hermit crabs. Another lady is trying to stop him. Then I grab his arm. I know I'm on thin ice here and I may be fired.

Suddenly there is a young guy to see me. At first he is J.L. He want's to tell me something, but he is either ashamed, or just doesn't really know how to say it. I offer him coke and send one of the girls to get one from my fridge. (I just put some there IWL) I offer him some rum, reluctantly, because I know he drove there, but I also know that he had been drinking prior to coming.

Then he is another classmate of mine. I'm looking at him and trying to recognize him. It's been a long time since we were at school. He finally breaks, shows me his gunshot wound on left shoulder that he got in Kuwait.

He tells me that he came to confess his something for me, don't think it was love, but he wan't to be with me and he is distrought that it took him this long to tell me that.

Then I see him in uniform during his military training. He has long hair and looks younger. Introduces me to his "bookie" and I half-jokingly make a "I'll shoot you" to the bookie, as in I'm not gonna have any of that crap.

I offer him coffee and later someone drops the coffee mug. It's tall, ceramic, with few wide bands of earhy colors reddish, orange...

I get down on my knees and pray that it didn't break, because it's not mine. I turn it around and piece of handle broke off. I'm in a process of gluing it back on, when my cat wakes me up IWL.

Don't remember any dreams from the nap.

I tried to have lucid dreams last night for the first time officially using RCs throughout the day and repeating my mantra "I will realise that I am dreaming, I will trust my reality checks" (changed it after what happened last night).

Dream 1: woke up within dream, had recorded a video on my phone that I didn't remember recording of myself explaining that I had seen something weird in my room.. the video then turned to my face and recorded something running by behind me, a tall white naked figure

Dream 2: I had saved earth somehow, was in outer space, had to say goodbye to somebody I was in love with in the dream - who was female - and head back to earth

Dream 3: lived in my ex boyfriend's mom's old house - she has passed away in WL - we realised we had never thrown our neighbours a welcome party therefore did and they were insulted with how non-chtristian we were,of random animals running around the house *** just remembered that this dream was connected to the first one - the room from dream 1 was in this house

Dream 4: I did reality checks but was in bed in my dream and decided I wasn't dreaming even though I was able to breathe with my nose plugged and push my thumb through my hand, I now realise also that I was alone in bed which I am not - I live with my boyfriend, I decided to try anyways but couldn't remember any of the monthly tasks haha... I may have tried to sit on an egg... but broke it? Hard to recall.
That is all!

Dream recall from today's naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was playing some 2D platformer/shooter game and there were fights with some huge bizarre creatures, then later i was using some editor to search particular sprite in the spritesheet, finding that there are even bigger creatures than the ones i fought.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was flying with some characters on some kind of air balloon construction, we were discussing something and there was also small dragon with us. We done our mission in the country and we were escaping it. Then the balloon got hit by something and we were forced to land. We use fuel to make construction flammable. Then there's cutscene where some scientist is searching for team and laughing. Then back to balloon construction, that small dragon transforms into human form for some reason and then firebreathes at the construction, setting it on fire. Then we leave.

2 Fragments. 1st before WBTB, 2nd afterwards:

• I am at home with my roommate. An old friend is with us. My roommate is playing video games, while the friend is trying to fool him and making jokes at his expense, I am a passive observer. I have to laugh at some of the jokes, but for some I think they are not funny and this goes too far. I think to myself 'give him some peace'. The friend pretends to leave the apartment, but opens and then shuts the door without leaving, another 'funny' joke. There are 3 doors in the floor, 2 of them make a loud noise when used.
  
  The apartment is the same as my home, apart from the 3rd door. In the dream I notice it but I take it for granted and not as a weird circumstance. Pretty random fragment, nothing too weird or significant.
  
  
• I am in the front passenger seat of a car. The seat is big and soft and comfortable, so is the car. A girl I once dated is driving. We are in Copenhagen, Noerrebro, I see a long and big street ahead of us with two big crossroads and traffic lights. I tell her 'to the right is the place where [name of a friend] lives', she nods disinterested, feel like she does not really notice me talking. The seat belt sits very tight and makes it hard to breathe, I loosen it a bit, but it doesn't help. I try to tell her that I would love to 'do' her again once, if she is interested. I tell her 'no one would know, this is a dream anyways, let's just have sex, in the end it doesn't matter'. Still she seems like (or pretends to(?)) not really noticing me. I get upset and louder and say: 'Hey you know, it's a dream, all of this is not really real, not even you'. Suddenly she looks at me, says nothing but everything is shaking and crumbling, I feel that it is due to her anger. I think to myself 'I shouldn't have said that, of course no one likes to hear they don't exist...' I slowly start to believe my own words, that it is all a dream, so i gain lucidity. But by the moment that I am convinced of dreaming, it is too late; everything has fallen apart already due to knowing it is not real, then I wake up.
  
  Weird, this girl used to troll around in my subconscious for quite a while, but it is rather long time ago. Also how the hell did I not get lucid in a situation, where I try to convince someone that it's a dream. This was pure non-lucid, as there was no active lucid dream time, although I convinced myself to be dreaming, which kinda caused it to end.

1. [non-lucid]
I'm on a ship doing gymnastic swinging off the ships ropes and sails while in a sword/fist fight, (probably with a pirate)(I remember thinking: don't fall off the ship as I went quite high) this went on for about 5 minutes.

The pirate knocked me to the floor, I struggled to get up as he attempted the finishing blow, then all of a sudden I was saved (by a bullet?) at the last second by the actual crew of the ship who where held hostage I assume by my attacker.

Captain Jack Sparrow took the ship the wrong way or something, then left the ship

Were on land in some sort of town square (There's a yellow haze on everything as the sun shines down, like a sort of sepia tone), the ground laid with bumpy light-grey cobblestone, there's a cobblestone and wood building to the right, there's a cobblestone road going straight with a dock along it and buildings, there's a building in front of to the left, I think there's a well in the center of the town with a stall across from it. we are searching for Captain Jack Sparrow after he ran away.

Times:
Sleep: 11:10 Attempted DILD
Alarm: 3:00 I hadn't slept before 3 anyway
Wake: 8:00 - 9:00
Got up: 9://

I can remember little extracts from my dream:

Firstly that someone came to our house to buy DVDs from us, sort of like the CEX store in town. One DVD we sold was Stargate season 1 and 2, joined together, making something like £30.

Stargate then traveled over to my next dream, where I felt intrigued by it one day. Looking through the boxes to see how many seasons there were. I somehow saw Quatre and Trowa from Gundam Wing in the series ~ Strange..!

Sunday 6/23/13

Last night bed 12:30?

DR 2:23 Some problem on DV, Linkzelda involved.

DR 7:42 There is a magic pen. It has two pieces and one of them can disappear and then appear back. It's for real, no trick. This was much more detailed, but this is all I wrote down.