non-lucid

I was at this one place and someone kept telling me to climb this rock and I did, and soon everyone was, my dad had some toy car that was a gift from a mercades dealerships,(he paints cars) there was a mattress in the back of a truck, the place was constantly changing.

something about animals and finding them and raising them, it was like a game that we played with a whole lot of people...
someone kept telling their dog to attack me. and then I found a dog and a cat and some other rare thing.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my wedding...I was going to marry Ryan. It was outside in a green field. There were tons of chairs set up. We had never had a rehearsal dinner, so I was kind of worried about how things would go, but I hoped it would work out fine. I thought about being up at the alter, saying my vows. The wedding was to be at noon.

Then, I remember seeing a soccer field that kind of looked like a volleyball court behind where we were supposed to have the ceremony. I remember seeing Kim, a girl I work with, playing soccer with a group of people. My boss told her she wouldn't get credit for something because she wasn't going to be at my wedding. She said she knew. I wasn't really too concerned about it. The only thing was, I thought the game may interfere with the ceremony. Someone kicked a soccerball and it went out of bounds towards me. I took it and threw it back to them.

People started to fill up the empty seats that were set up. I was laying on my stomach to the right of the alter. I was wearing a strapless wedding dress. I noticed that my bridesmaids were all late; I didn't see any of them. The seats were full now...there were tons of people on both sides.

Then, a director by the alter started to direct the organ. The Wedding March started to play. I thought it was just a rehearsal of the music, so I just stayed where I was and watched. But then, I saw Ryan and his groomsmen walking to the alter. I thought about how it was said to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding. I also thought that Ryan must be confused, because this is just a rehearsal...right?

I remember seeing the director quietly counting the beats off to himself as he directed. He then looked at me as if to say "We're waiting for you, get up here!". I started to mouth to him whether or not I needed to be up there or not. Ryan and his groomsmen were standing at the alter. I then remember seeing 3 of my bridesmaids in long, black dresses covered in sequens standing at the alter. They had HUGE tags that the bridesmaids hadn't taken off of them yet. I guessed they were going to return them. I remember Rachel being one of the bridesmaids, and then a girl I barely know in waking life that I went to high school with, Lindsey, being one. I can't remember who the 3rd one was. They still weren't all there though. Upon closer examination of the bridesmaids' dresses, I noticed that they had some crazy, huge headpiece attatched to them. Wtf?

~

I was in a house. I was laying down to go to sleep. My bed was in the kitchen. I remember hearing music play. A woman was cleaning the kitchen, which was only lit by the light above the stove. She laid down next to me and tried to cuddle me. She whispered something in my ear. I said "no" to whatever it is that she said.

Then, I remember seeing Nick. He told me it was a shame that I was getting married, since so many guys liked me.

I then remember being by the kitchen sink. A lizard was swimming in a large glass of dirty water, which was sitting in the sink. The lizard was Kacey's, and I was watching him for her. I dumped out the dirty water in the glass, and filled in with clean water from the tap. The lizard then proceeded to use the bathroom, dirtying the water again. The glass was warm. Gross.

I was then going to fill the sink up with water and let him swim in there, but decided I first needed to put Belle, my cat, away first so she didn't eat him. I asked someone if the "Spanish room" was being used. I then saw my old high school Spanish teacher, Mrs. K. She said no, the room wasn't being used. I thought this was odd for a second, but didn't look too far into it.

I took Belle into the "Spanish room", which was located in the back of the house. It was a beautiful, old-timey-looking bedroom. I remember seeing big, billowy off-white curtains. It was very cute. I put Belle down in the room.

Deleted

non dream - lucid - non lucid

I wake up after ~8 hours of sleep, but I still feel very tired.
I decide to go back to sleep.

I'm in what appears to be an hotel room, but instead of a bed there is a long desk with 4 PC monitors on it, and some audio equipment including 2 microphones.
It seems that I am casting a SC2 tournament game from here. I wonder who my co-caster is.
Day9? o_O That's kind of a surprise. But then I feel like we've known each other for a long time, and it's all normal.
We cast a game between some well known player and a mouse. (Yes, an actual mouse... the animal >_>)
After we're done casting (the mouse won) we discuss that this mouse is rather intelligent, and day9 compliments the high APM.
I'm tired and I want to go to bed... I know we're at an hotel and I can sleep in the next room.

I'm now in a bed in the next room, but I can't sleep.
There's about 10 people sleeping in the room, which I find a bit weird and uncomfortable.
I get up and decide to go for a walk.
Another guy stands up at the same time, he's a friend from high school.
We leave the hotel room, which leads straight into my old high school building.
We walk through the main corridor and he lights a cigarette.
He hands it to me and I start smoking, but then I realize I'm not a smoker, and the cigarette tastes horribly.
I put out the cigarette on my hand, because I know it's not going to hurt and throw it into a trash can.

Some official person from the high school sees this and gets insanely mad at me because smoking is forbidden inside the building.
I tell him to relax, I'm not even in high school anymore.
Then he gets even more angry saying I have no reason to be here.
"But I sleep here!"
He freaks out, "DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING HOTEL?"
(yes)

I'm now in front of the Hotel/School outside a small restaurant.
Me and a few friends from high school are having dinner.
I notice an odd yellowish liquid in my glass, what on earth did I order to drink?
I take a sip and notice that the liquid has now attached itself to my lip, forming a string between my lower lip and the glass.
What the fuck is this.
I try to remove it by pulling on the string with my hand.
The string just gets longer and longer.
One of my friends starts laughing at me and explains it's a chemic reaction and some sort of prank. (he's studying chemistry and likes to do pranks in waking life)
After I get it off I notice that I've just eaten a lot of stuff I don't usually eat.
I wonder why I did that and stare up into the sky.
It's night already, I can see the stars.
Wait a second... I never ate this food, the dream skipped over it, I'm dreaming!
I look back down to investigate the current scene.

But when I look back down I notice I'm no longer at the restaurant.
I'm alone, hiding in between some debris.
I look around, the scenery feels post-apocalyptic, and reminds me of fallout.
The streets are cracked, all buildings around appear to have been destroyed by explosions many years ago.
Everything appears gray and sad.
Above me is some sort of huge construct, only supported by a few thin pillars.
Whatever it is, it is falling apart, debris is falling down, which is presumably why I hid in this corner in the first place.
I hear voices screaming that the things is coming down and will explode, that everyone should make a run for it.

I decide to make a run for it myself and start running uphill, not getting hit by any debris fortunately.
Suddenly I notice an hotel to my left, of course, I was at that hotel.
There are a few cars in front of it, and lots of people running away.
Why does nobody use the cars?
I spot a Continental GT and decide it's the fastest and most robust out of them and get inside. (I've driven one in waking life a few times)
The keys are inside, lucky me.
The passenger door opens and my dad gets inside "gogogo!"
I start the engine and drive in reverse doing a 180 to point the car into the correct direction.

I'm now in front of the street. All people are running to the left, uphill, but I can see the passage is blocked.
To the right, downhill, is the construct which is falling apart.
There's no way we'll make it going uphill, I decide to try to drive under the collapsing construct.
I put the gearbox in manual because I don't like automatics and use the paddle shifters.
I accelerate hard towards the construct.
The pillars break, and the whole thing starts coming down.
I press the accelerator pedal harder, knowing it won't make a difference, and hope to somehow make it.
And we do, by a meter at most. The construct crashes into the ground right behind us.
My dad tells me to keep going, the thing is going to explode.

I drive as fast as I can, luckily the road is straight.
Then suddenly there is snow on the road, and a corner up ahead... fuck!
I hit the brakes hard, but the car is barely slowing down.
I have to swing the steering wheel left and right wildly to prevent the car from spinning out.
Still doing 220km/h, there is no way I'll be able to slow down enough for the corner.

But then suddenly my sense of presence turns on, and I can feel what lies behind the corner.
There is a canyon right behind it, meaning if I can't make the corner we'll fall into the canyon.
On the other side of the canyon seems to be a salt desert.
I get off the brakes and back on the accelerator.
My dad freaks out. "What are you doing?"
"Trust me..."

I don't take the corner, I just drive straight into the canyon.
I close my eyes, and concentrate on the other side of it, and try to lower it with dream control, so that we can make the jump.
As I open my eyes again, I see that the other side stays perfectly leveled with he falling car, and we make it to the other side just fine.
I see a massive explosion in the mirrors of the car...

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This is a complete but rough draft
From a couple nights ago


Spirituality's Just a Clunky Flashlight: Surprise Gratitude

I wasn’t expecting to have another lucid dream. Not since I did the other night after probably years of not remembering a lucid dream. I wasn’t even particularly focused on it last night, I was more interested in the emotional processing of dreams I’ve been remembering.

Before falling asleep, I went into the deepest meditation I think I’ve experienced before. During this meditation I was using audio with delta binaural (as well as other aspects) for the first time. I had used the demo before, before falling asleep and having the first lucid dream in this journal. That was the first lucid dream I remembered in a long time and it happened maybe 3 nights before the lucid dream in this journal entry.

There were many exceptionally vivid visuals that arose during the meditation. I kept coming back to my breath, but sometimes would just give in to the feeling of witnessing instead, feeling like why focus on the breath if that’s not the real point? Being the Witness is. Then I would lose my deeper connection with witnessing and come back to my breath. Cyclic.

I finished the meditation, rolled on my side, and meditated a bit without audio. I jumped when my name and something else was said in my ear. It seemed like a loud voice because of my stillness, but it was a whisper as if coming from a man, a lover, behind me. It was just so real and audible that it startled me.

I fell asleep normally, not trying to WILD or whatnot.

My mom in the living room, then in my room. Us conversing throughout this. Having the sense that I’m both in my living room and in my bed asleep simultaneously. She kind of giggles at me. I wonder if she’s there with me or not, if I’m hallucinating or something. She comes to my room and I’m only there, not in two places at once anymore. My window is open and there is a breeze. I ask her to close it for me; I don’t want to get up. She starts to close just the blinds and I ask her to close the window as well. She does. (Was some man coming toward the window, flying?)

I thought, this is a dream.

Darkness, vague sense of my body and no surroundings, as if I had my eyes closed in the dream. A strong, turning slowly in bed sensation. I couldn’t control it. slowly, over, over, tipping the sensation of falling at the same time. The slow shift ended.

Walking, it is rather dark around me, a kind of muddy and empty yet dense darkness, like mist. Around something, turning, perhaps it was a small gate that I walked around.

The dream felt very ordinary. Almost disappointing.

meditated for a few breaths but then

wanted to experiment with other things

Asked to see my higher self (I don’t think I reflected on the forum thread specifically, but knew it was something I wanted to do.)

A muted gray "wheel of fortune" with different faces on it, spinning slowly. alternating panels of dark grey and darker grey. Thought it was a very fitting image for how I conceive of a higher self intellectually.

Kinda sorta looked like this

Seemed somewhat boring, too intellectual.

I asked to see what I “need to see”. saw a white light in nothing, black background.

Questioned what I was seeing, like, this? Thought of typical images of god as light.

After waking I thought of the similarities to Alex Grey’s God sacred mirror painting. Similar colors.

I looked for depth in the light but it seemed kind of boring. Again, too intellectual perhaps. On reflection, was it the center of that higher self wheel?

After thinking it was boring, another light moved into my vision as if responding to my thought. I realized it had been there but I hadn’t seen it. It was so bright when I started to focus on it. I questioned that this was really what I needed to see, thought I was just making it up. I reflected on the light being there all along, but I hadn’t seen it next to the dullish moon-like first light. The bright light fell onto the dark ground next to me. It clattered and I saw it was a flashlight.

I guess I dismissed it, that is the feeling I have after waking, and felt joy at being lucid in the dream world

I took a moment to feel gratitude and amazement at this lucid experience. I remembered a show I’d seen the other day about dreaming and how the brain comes alive with activity more than at any other time. I saw that clear image of the brain and nervous system pulsing with activity, inside my body. Deep, shimmering, pervasive gratitude hit and filled me.

Similar to the end of this video.

I felt grateful for being in this state and a deep appreciation and almost affection for my body for allowing it. It felt like this state was healing me. It was that awed, blissful feeling in dreams that I desire to experience more.

I looked around and saw a lit up tunnel in the dark distance, like a tunnel for cars. I decided to try to conjure something. What popped into my conscious mind was a baby and I immediately tried to conjure one. (Odd because in waking life I don’t feel much desire to have a baby, though I love to be around them.) The attempt at conjuring was so quick, it seemed to step on the heel of the thought of a baby. I wanted to give it love and feel its love.

A cat had already been walking up to me. Small, solid, short haired. I concentrated on changing it and a baby’s light transparent image superimposed over the cat for a second but that cat wasn’t going away. I thought about learning more about dream control and gave up on the baby thought.

The cat talked in a witch’s type voice. (Funny, now I remember that I had been listening to Ken Wilber the day before this dream and I’d thought about Ken’s voice being grating and nasal, kind of like a witch.)

The cat seemed sinister.

I picked it up, being careful not to hurt it. Held it like a baby, then shifted it into a more upright position. I thought of it being like Chaos, (my loved and peculiar cat that died a few years ago,) but no, not Chaos.

The physical sensations in this dream were very obvious. The light breeze, the cat against my chest and under my hands.

The cat said it wanted a kiss in that same crackling, grinding, deep yet high witch’s voice. I wasn’t sure if it would hurt me or not. I took its face in my hand and held its mouth closed and gave it a kiss.

I remember its teeth and the feel against my lips.

I was afraid of being bitten (the only times I’ve remembered feeling intense physical pain in dreams was when I was bitten. It has happened twice.)

It was talking like it wanted to hurt things. I kind of tuned it out while I tried to decide what to do. I thought it was talking about wanting to hurt a baby and other darkness, I could hear it but I was only half-hearing and half-aware. It kept talking on and on.

At some point I flew low to the ground

That tunnel, somewhat lit, going into it. On my feet now. The cat still in my arms. Did I put it down? I think so.

Fear and darkness, though I wasn’t completely overcome by the fear. I remember looking down to the other end of the tunnel.

The dream changed

Walking slowly through an office
many people at desks in this main room
one man I identify with emotionally as I walk by is creative
he is conjuring a model/landscape of buildings on his desk that rise up slowly and gracefully

much like the Game of Thrones intro.

The young man seemed very creatively developed but he felt stuck and repressed.

I felt myself fading out of the dream slowly, into nothingness. Nothingness for a bit. I hoped I wasn’t coming out of the dream. Heard a sound, realized it was like breathing. I still felt like I was sleeping. Still. Then I tested my breath, tried to change its rhythm slightly and felt the change, felt the air going through my nose like when I meditate. damn, I’m awake.

This dream helped me put my finger on that feeling of bliss that I’ve experienced in dreams many times that is so profound and just expansive and freeing. Gratitude. And appreciation. A deeper love than egoic love, though it is kind of like the feeling of when you first fall in love and everything is vibrant and feels like you’re bursting.

So this is what gratitude is. Fuck. I want to be grateful more! LOL. I’m grateful for wanting to be grateful, even.

So strong. I’m going to practice bringing that into my walking life.

I just felt some gratitude while saying that and it warmed my stomach (where some deep emotional knots are). Gratitude. Wow. God and gratitude seem the same at this moment.

Reminds me of a woman I know who is so vibrant so much of the time. Gleeful in a grounded and beautifully feminine way. She showed me about being feminine in a positive and not fake way, truly feminine. I’d tended toward being a tom boy before that. Well, I still do but I also appreciate that exuberant feminine side.

Now I want to love. Everything. (Dammit, bring back that creepy cat!)

It feels like the gratitude for my body and brain lit up with lucidity was what I “needed to see”. A roundabout answer to a question I wasn’t sure how to ask. Being grateful, I feel in a sense like my higher self, as discussed in the thread.

Since that dream I’ve researched practices in gratitude. Tonglen and others have appeared. My main focus is bringing it to all of my life (waking, dreaming, lucid, all). Now, can I be grateful while being with that cat or other similar darknesses? Yes, I’ve experienced that to degrees. Experienced gratitude along with protective boundaries simultaneously. I don't want to get stuck in "blank gratitude" – not consciously to the extent that I’d hurt myself with it.

The emotional tone of the gratitude in the dream and that came with me into waking life is hit on in the tone of this song.

Nothing In Between by Stuart Davis

Nothing In Between by Stuart Davis

Spoiler for Lyrics:

There is nothing in between us when we sleep
Every night the bliss begins to leak
Nothing in between us when we laugh
it’s something that our head will never grasp

It’s seen in between

There’s nothing in between your joy and mine
It’s all a lot of nectar on the vine
Joy is how my parents were entwined
and there’s nothing in between their lives and mine

We’ve seen

There’s nowhere to hide in the open Reality
Love is so wide, there isn’t a boundary
There is only one eye without any enemy
when you’ve seen in between

There’s nothing in between our skin and light
Nothing in between the wind and kite
Nothing in between our lips and grace
Nothing in between the tongue and taste

It’s seen

(Refrain)

There is nothing in between you and I
Nothing in between blue and sky
Nothing in between us and love
Nothing in between wings and doves

(Refrain)

There is nothing
in between

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a cabin in the woods with my old friend, M. It may have been night at first. We were looking out a wall-sized window at the forest landscape. It was like the window was about 2 or 3 meters above ground-level. There was some other shack-like structure standing just beyond the house.

The scene became light, as if the time quickly went from night to early morning. As it did, M and I spoke about the shack. Apparently there were trees growing out of the top of the shack. They were kind of thin and they didn't have much of a canopy.

M and I said that before the event, something like a flood or an earthquake, we hadn't been aware of the trees. But they had been there all along. But after the flood, we were definitely aware of the trees growing out of the shack. In my mind's eye I saw the waters of the flood quickly subsiding down the sides of the shack.

I now saw someting like a beaver gnawing away at one of the tree trunks. The beaver was enormous -- maybe 2 meters long. It had big, black eyes, like a teddy bear. I looked away from the window, as if I had to go do something else, something like packing up to leave the cabin.

I wondered about the beaver. The beaver had been so huge and the tree trunk so thin that it seemed to me the beaver should have been able to have chewed all the way through the tree before I had looked away. But it hadn't been able to do so. I thought that maybe the tree was bigger than I'd thought it was.

I now looked to the opposite side of the cabin. There was another wall-sized window, this one level with the ground. The light was much brighter. It appeared to be a grey day.

Just outside the window there was a car which was parked so its right side faced the window. Between the car and the window there lay a huge, brown, furry animal. It was like the beaver on top of the cabin, but it was also more like a bear.

M had become my mother. This was my mother's cabin. I turned to my mom, who was still looking out the other window. I asked her something about these weird animals. She replied in some matter of fact way. She then made some comment about huge wolves that were attacking people.

I looked back to the window with the car. I now noticed that just inside the cabin, right by the window, there was another big, brown, beaver-like animal curled up on the floor. It was like some kind of pet, like a cat.

Behind the car there was another weird animal. This one was like a huge coyote or a bobcat. But it was all black. Its eyes were huge and black, again, like teddy-bear eyes. Its fur was kind of long and disshevelled, but soft looking, almost like pulled-out cotton candy.

I wondered if this animal was dangerous, like the wolves my mom had been talking about. But it occurred to me that this black animal was actually a cat-like animal. A wolf would be more of a dog-like animal.

I had to go outside to put my stuff into the car so I could leave. But I was kind of afraid to. I was afraid of some of the wolves showing up and attacking me. It then occurred to me that as long as the black animal was around, no wolves would attack.

Apparently my brother and sister were in the car. They had been waiting for me to come to the car so we could leave. I was now walking out of some bedroom with some stuff. I may have been holding something (like wadded up tissue?) to my chest. The room seemed to have a greenish tint to it, as if from light coming in through dim curtains and reflecting against light-green walls.

As I was heading to the front door of the cabin, my mom started complaining to me about how I had taken so long to get ready that I had missed the ideal opportunity for getting back home. The drive home would be twelve hours long. If we had left earlier, we would have been able to miss the snowstorm that was coming. But now we would be driving right into the snowstorm.

I was now in some spacious, one-story house, all by myself. For a moment I was in the living room. The living room was huge. The back wall had a huge window running along it, letting in a lot of grey light.

I was then in a small bedroom. It was night. The light was on in the bedroom. The room was really cluttered. I looked at the clock on the dresser. It said something like 11:45. I looked out the slats of the window blinds. I saw the street below. It was like I was in a house. I may have seen a car passing.

I walked away from the bedroom, possibly toward a doorway. I thought to myself that it was really good how well we had timed our trip back home. We were already home and the snowstorm was only now getting ready to start.

Dream #2

I was in some bedroom that was a lot like mine. But the floor was barren and possibly something like concrete. The floor was really grimy and dusty, with a little bit of trash like paper here and there.

I saw a big roach run across the floor. I was a little annoyed, and I decided to kill the roach. But for some reason I also decided to sweep and clean the floor while I was hunting down the roach.

At some point there were also two men in the room. They were both white, possibly British, and kind of old. They may have been wearing black suits and bowler hats.

In the middle of cleaning the floors, I suddenly thought this would be the perfect opportunity to kill the roach. I grabbed something with a flat bottom, possibly a shoe, but possibly a flat object like a book. I slammed down on the roach.

I caught the roach so that its head was just coming out from under the book. I didn't think I would be able to kill it this way. But I kept smashing down harder and harder. Eventually a bunch of fluid began pouring out from under the book. The fluid was clear and kind of brown, like some kind of liquor. After a while I was satisfied that the roach was dead.

I turned around and stood up. The other men were just finishing cleaning up the place. Either they or I said something like, "You see, if you only keep this place clean, you'll avoid having to deal with roaches."

The men were now standing over at a table by the wall. There was a third man, kind of an average, middle-aged guy, a little overweight, kind of pale white, but overall healthy looking.

The man had two black cases with him. The cases were like computer cases, but they were small. They were made out of backpack-like fabric and were also very well-padded. The old men first lay the cases on the table. They then took the cases off the table and began to sit them on the floor. At this point in time the cases may have been unzipped and empty.

I wondered if it was a good idea to lay the cases on the floor. After all, the floor had been so dirty that it had attracted the roaches. If the cases were important, wouldn't it be kind of bad to get them dirty by putting them on the floor?

Dream #3

I looked at my hands. Apparently they had gotten so dry that they were cracking and bleeding. But now they were cracking a lot. It was like whole slashes were running down the backs of my hands. I thought I would never be able to heal my hands, they were so cracked and bleeding.

Dream #4

There was some man who was dignified and at the same time kind of like the ringleader for a circus. He was right up in my face, talking to me about something about society. He was trying to make his argument by using the analogy of some kind of object with a pointy top and fat base.

But for some reason, I got an image in my head of something which was the opposite of what the man had been talking about. I may have seen a spinning top. This had a pointy bottom and fat top. But I may also have seen a clear, plastic cup for soda. It didn't have a pointy top or base. I may hav seen some other kind of clear, plastic toy.

At some point either I or the man started to question the validity of the argument being made, since none of the images being conjured up had the pointy top and fat base.

(Side notes: In Dream #1, the trees growing out of the shack most likely come from a photographic image from the work of Jungjin Lee. I saw her work a few weeks back at the Aperture Foundation.

The weird animals at least partly come from a fetish video I was watching on YouTube. It involved an adult woman in a diaper, playing with a huge teddy bear. But I also think the image comes from the werewolves in the Twilight movies.

Also, I've recently read a couple of books which have involved lycanthropy lately. One is Bruno Bettelheim's The Uses of Enchantment. The other is Hereward Carrington's 1921 book Problems of Psychical Research.

Carrington's book is available on the free book website gutenberg.org. I think it is also available for free through Kindle.

Here is the link to the Gutenberg Project version of the book. http://www.gutenberg.org/files/23660...-h/23660-h.htm

While I'm on the topic of the Gutenberg Project, I might as well mention a small essay I read by Henri Bergson, simply titled Dreams. I don't agree with the entire theory. But I find Bergson's overall insights to be a lot of fun. Anyway, I thought of you guys when I read it.

Here is the link. http://www.gutenberg.org/files/20842...-h/20842-h.htm )

-The first dream i had last night, I was traveling around with Scooby-Doo and Mystery Inc., and I actually became a member. We did a good couple of things together, although one sticks ou in my head. We were staying at an old western saloon somewhere in the desert. Shaggy was in his room, and decided for some reason to put on kabuki-style make-up. I walked in on him and freaked out, scaring him in the process. Then he tried to explain it to me. Also, apparently velma had a french speaking clone

-Next, one of my friends, Seth, was captured by an anti-drug organization (he does marijuana), and I assembled a crew of my best friends to go and rescue him in a sort of a spy flick style secret mission. We ended up going through most of the building, though the only room I remember is this narrow hallway that led to sort of a "forbidden room" in the building, you got to sit down on a smal roller coaster, although you could feel gravity slip away from you when you came out. We never did find Seth though...

-In this dream my family was keeping this large turtle named Tek, who was apparently the largest turtle in the world, along with his son, an unamed turtle. We were keeping him in a air-punched plastic container, although one day we noticed that Tek was starting to die, probably collapsing due to his massive size. His son ws also in danger. We tried desperatly to save Tek, although at some point we gave up. I started complaining "This will forever be remembered as the house Tek the Turtle died in!"

Awake Non-Lucid Semi-Lucid

I'm walking down a hill. Everything's very vivid. It's sunny, which is hot on my skin, and I need to narrow my eyes to see properly. I continue trudging down the hill until I get to the bottom.

I stop. There's a small villiage in front of me. The floor of it is made of small white stones, and there's a lake beyond. There are small boats between the houses. Is this Carvahall?

I become semi-lucid as I think of Eragon and how it's a book. This must be a dream. I forget to RC and stabillise, but I know for certain I'm dreaming.

I slowly walk forwards. Carvahall isn't like this in the book. It's a northern villiage where it's cold. There's no lake beyond, but a river, and they're farmers, not fishermen.

Oh well... It's still nice to be here. I notice that one of the boats has turned into a small plane. I turn it back to a boat because I want to feel like I'm in ancient times.

I walk up to a passerby and ask the name of the lake. He looks puzzled. "Why, it's Leona Lake of course!" Then picks up a net and walks away. I smile, because Leona Lake is next to Dras-Leona, not Carvahall. It appears my mind has put all of Alagaesia in one place. Looking beyond the lake I can see the Beor Mountains and a forest that is most likely Du Weldenvarden. Where the dwarves and the elves live.

Hey, maybe Eragon is here! I walk through the villiage until I think I find him. He's heading toward Leona Lake, a frown on his face. He's carrying both a shortsword and a longsword. I sneak up behind him, flip around him and grab both the swords. Then I throw the longsword back at him, hoping for a duel.

He doesn't look impressed. Apparently he's going across Leona Lake to find a captured friend. It's dark now, and there are loads of stars. I offer to join him. He looks suspicious for a moment, but then agrees.

I lose my lucidity whilest staring in amazement at the stars. He points to one of the larger ones and says that his friend is in that direction, so we begin to follow the star. Instead of travelling around the lake, we just get in and swim right through. I can't help thinking that this is so bizarre.

[Dreamskip] We're across the lake and walking up one of the hills that lead to the forest. We find some headstones, but this doesn't feel right. We glance at eachother, and pull out our swords. A moment later, dwarves jump out screaming.

April 22, 2011

Notes
After forgetting my dream last night, had 3 dreams tonight, one lucid. Went to bed at around 1am, woke up several times but eventually at 1:30pm. Great dreams tonight, some of the typical weird stuff that happens in my dreams. Attempted control at the end of the lucid dream, almost succeeded, blocked by some creepy projection of myself. Very memorable at the end of the lucid, very unsettling. Reoccurring people, which I've never noticed until I started this journal, and of course my dog Riley shows up again. Motifs of weird adventures, futuristic settings, otherworldly experiences, school, etc.

Entry 009
My first dream begins in a house. It's my house, only my room specifically seems to be bigger, with a really strange wall shape. The room sits kind of like a townhouse, on the second floor of some other apartment and only loosely attached to the main house. The atmosphere inside is just like my room-- books scattered everywhere, clashing color schemes and fabrics, random nic nacs on every surface. I'm sitting by the window, looking out at the street below. There's an eclectic shop across the road, filled with antiques and dried squid hanging from the ceiling (what?). I see a friend walk into view, maybe Sejal, maybe not, I can't really remember. She waves, I wave back then open up the window and jump down to the street. We go inside the shop for awhile. There's an old woman who looks like some kind of cartoon gypsy or one of those old fortuneteller machines sitting behind the counter, watching us like a hawk from behind her round spectacles. We leave and I go back up to my room, only to find everything either gone or covered in a white sheet. My mom comes in and said she did some "cleaning" and that she's packed up all my stuff for me to go to college.

---

Another dream in similar setting to the first, only without the previous one ever happening and with the place that was my room now being a classroom. We live in some futuristic world, with tall white skyscrapers and even a couple flying cars here and there. Despite all the modernity, there are still places like the antique store with dried squid cramped along the narrow paths between buildings.

I'm walking, then I stop at a towering building meant for residential apartments. On the first floor I can see Burell, but I'm not here to see him. I am at a different floor in the building. I ring the bell and Donahue answers. There are already some students waiting inside. I get the impression that we always have school in these residential apartments for some reason, even though the classrooms are more like personal houses of the teachers than classrooms at all. We have a lesson, but I'm hardly paying attentions. My gaze keeps shifting to the wide, floor to ceiling windows which give a panorama view of the world outside, flying cars and all.

Eventually, one lesson ends and the majority of the students file out of the apartment. Only myself and a couple others are leftover, and we're all given instruments. We practice for awhile, then Donahue says something about us "being ready". Apparently there's some kind of festival around a bonfire today (something that seems strangely uncivilized for a nation with flying cars, but whatever...) and they need musicians so that the dancers have a beat. I leave, stop in at the antique-squid place again.

When I come out of the shop I look up at the sky and see it's getting dark. I have to hurry to the festival. Someone or something is with me all this time, but I'm not sure what it is. When I (we?) get to the festival, all of the other musicians have already taken their places in a horseshoe of black chairs set upon a hill. I kind of lurk in the back of these chairs, but never sit down or play. I have an ominous feeling, like something sinister is happening. I see Donahue front and center playing a tuba or something like that. The people around the fire dance.

As I'm walking back to the building, Burell sees me and intercepts. As we walk back together, I tell him I have some strange feeling about Donahue and the festival. Burell then tells me that I was right to, then reveals some dark past of Donahue's; why we have classes in his apartment, why there's a festival, why we were made to play music in the festival. When we get to the building, Burell slips in to his apartment on the first floor. As I'm standing there, staring at the place where Burell was standing only a second ago, Donahue sneaks up behind me and taps me on the shoulder. Is something wrong? He smiles.

--

Final dream. I'm lucid. I'm in some kind of futuristic world, an underground society connected by dim, floating lights and wide tunnels of whooshing air used to travel. I've just moved in to a new, comfortable home and I'm inviting people over for a party. We're playing video games, watching TV and talking; just generally having fun. Eventually, however, some neighbors come over to complain. They're already holding a grudge against me for not inviting them, and so they want to interfere in our fun. I invite them in and I get some impression that I shouldn't have. Riley is here, and she's snapping at their heels. The floor is made of large multicolored tiles that light up underneath your feet and I can see myself backing away, lighting yellows, purples, reds, as they move forward.

The dream gets fuzzy here, I think I may have temporarily lost lucidity, but I get the impression they severely beat me up and that one of them rapes me.

When the dream comes back to me, they've switched my new home in to some kind of place of indoctrination. A bunch of brainwashed kids are sitting around me, my previous party guests, all wearing bathing suits, raincoats, tutus and other bizarre clothing. Occasionally a new person tries to enter the room and join us. If we find them attractive we let them in, and if we don't we beat them to a bloody pulp. One fat little girl in a purple bathing suit tries to come in. The room tenses. There's no way we can let her in.

Just as we're about to strike, I stand up and shout "NO". I'm wearing some kind of cosplay or costume with a tutu and a crown. It's very scanty. I run to the front of the room and tell the girl to quickly leave, and she won't get hurt. This action seems to somehow snap the rest of the people in there room out of their daze. I notice the original neighbors look furious. I also notice they don't seem to have human forms any longer, but are more like purple shadows with glowing eyes. I run out of the house with them chasing me. Somehow I am faster or more quick-witted than they are, so I can easily escape. The problem is how determined they are. They never stop chasing me for even a second.

I come to one of the air tunnels people use to travel in this world. There is a slight breeze coming down the tunnel, and floating in the air are things that look like orange lifesavers used on boats. I jump into the tunnel and the wind catches me before I drop to the bottom. I'm still slowly heading to the bottom, however, and I realize that you have to grab the lifesavers for the tunnel to effectively work. I somehow control the wind with my mind to blow harder, and then I'm swinging from lifesaver to lifesaver like a monkey, the wind at my back driving me down the tunnel.

I do this for a long time, sometimes running through crowds of people at entrance to a movie theater, one time skating down an underground waterfall. I have to keep running or else I will be caught. Eventually I'm just walking through a crowd, aware that my enemies are far behind me. My lucid mind starts to wander. I remember that I need to try and control my dreams sometimes, and then I remember that one of the tasks of the month was to gather some flowers, and so I decide to create a field of red flowers. I see a door up ahead and open it. As I do a field starts to spawn ahead of me, an endless field of roses and poppies and other, unidentifiable flowers. I look back and the door is gone. I realize that there is some kind of presence with me. I look to my right and see a carbon copy of myself, grinning malevolently. "You can't control this." She says. I fall flat on my face in the field, and I can feel myself losing the dream. I try to feel the texture of the ground, like I've heard can stabilize the dream, and for a second it works. I can feel myself getting a grip back on the field. Within seconds, however, my twins face is between me and the ground and she's laughing at me. "It's already gone," she says. She's right. My eyes are flickering open, and I'm getting glimpses of my bedroom and the field alternately for a couple seconds. I try for several minutes to re-enter, but all I can see is my own face glaring at me, laughing.

I wake up.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This is a very rough draft
From the night before the night before last


Pairing Off

Going up a long curved ramp/hallway, similar to the casino on Catalina Island
At the top, people are evaluating each other as potential dates, taking turns
each successive pair going inside the large room where the dance is being held
I am the last girl to walk into the room, but I see the guy that is left through the door and I don’t like his body language or the way he’d talked to the girl. I don’t go into the room and instead turn around and walk back down.

The ramping hallway is lined with settings of a wine glass, a martini glass, and other items, repeating over and over. I look for a martini or glass of wine that hasn’t been drunk from yet as I walk down and down.
I unscrew the base of a martini glass and drink from the small, hidden bowl portion of the stem.
a man is walking up
we both think it is funny that I’m drinking from the bottom
I turn it right side up and drink from the “correct” top bowl (It didn’t spill when I’d first turned it upside down). it tastes delicious and I’m surprised. Best martini I’ve had.
I want to impress him and it looks like I’ve succeeded
we walk up together
I think I tell him about a friend (girl/potential date) he should meet

two of my girlfriends are up there and he and one of them hit it off
I’m kind of jealous but also not, I don’t think it is right for me to be with him for some reason (not the right time?)
we dance with yellow (Big Bird color) feathers arranged and held in a shield shape. shields of feathers, lol.
we shake them and are performing or practicing for people (a coach?)
6 groups of dancers. the guy, me, two girls, (and two other people?) make up our dance group

the teacher shows us how to do a yoga pose that is specific to the type of dancing we’re learning
stand on one leg, hold your right foot and press the big and pinky toes’ pads together, as well as the 2nd and 4th toes’ pads together. A might uncomfortable in the dream. I thought it was funny. While in the yoga pose, I struck a playful disco pose with my arms. It actually felt like the silly pose helped the energy align and flow. (makes me think of my PTSD and anxiety. Absurdity can be an antidote.)
I looked at the others and they were holding their foot behind them instead of in front of them so I went to switch, though it didn’t seem right to me to have my foot behind. The dream ended before I finished "correcting" my pose.

Nothing

Arrive at baseball game on bus. Green hills behind dugouts and trees in background. We have 2 girls on our team and so does the other team. Coach tells me I am going to pitch so I warm up with the catcher. I step on the mound to begin the game.

In spanish class, but in the Health classroom. Spanish teacher tries to comb my hair (my hair is long, but in reality I have short hair). I tell her to go away and she goes and tries to comb AE's hair. Busses.

So this morning I fell back asleep, and had the coolest dream ever. It was really long, I dont know. Anyway there was like a race or something, and there were a bunch of people from m school briefly, a HUGE line of people, like 10 people x 100 rows or something. all walking down stairs. Anyway I'm not sure all that happened, it was very surreal though. There were references to a whole bunch of things:
-Star Trek
-Sonic
-Inception
-The Odyssey
-South Park

So what happened. At one point Data (from Star Trek) shaved his head, but left the hair on the side (like a priest) his head was really pointy. My cousin played the new Sonic game at some point. This TV show we were watching (it switched between us watching it, and us being in it) was like the Odyssey, at least this episode was. There were posters of Brad I believe, or posters that resembled this, as well as a sense of Adventure. By the end of the episode there was Towlie from South Park, and I was like 'oh yeah thats how it started...' (on the count of me seeing some of this episode before bed) Anyway there is one part I remember and it was crazy. So we reached the top of a mountain, and this girl said she was going on without us (to the Future, or past I believe), but if it was safe up ahead, she would come back for us. So she went to the top of the mountain, and the higher you got, the more blurry/bright everything got. the mountain became fuzzy, and dough pretty much, and to climb you had to grab into the mountain. once at the top everything became like a vortex, and she grabbed these weird lights that were hanging (the mountain was no all twisty shaped) once she grabbed one, she flew back (because the mountain was doughy, so, she grabbed it, and it started falling toward the ground, backwards) once she reached the bottom she was in the future or past, she wanted to see if her parents were there, and if the world hadnt been changed much. Well the world had been changed, it was now dark, and wall that was left were lights, emitting orangy light, and it was in an apocalyptic swamp. She turned and saw a tractor sinking into the swamp, and she turned somewhere else to see a train driving (halfway under water) toward her, the train emitted light as well, and was very smoky.

The night of 4/21/11-I was in some garden like place when some guys came in and started giving away free money.(however he was bargaining a bit for the easily obtainable money. It was the guy from GTA San Andreas, that guy named Sweet) That's when one of the guys said "it's OK I don't need any money", right at that moment aliens invaded the earth, landed right were we were and said " I'll take it then". At that point we were scared. I ran off to safety, the guy giving away free money and the other people, as far as I was concerned they were dead and didn't care, I just wanted to escape with my life. The aliens wore red, I don't remember much more than that about them. Since they were so short they had been easy to kill but there so many of them that it was useless trying to fight them off. Me, Stan from american dad and his friends were all hiding in my room. But the aliens found us. We fought them off in my room until I woke up, the weird thing is some of them were hiding and sleeping in my hacky sacks, you know those things you kick around and try to keep in the air when your bored. There were other parts of the dream I don't remember. But that's the best recall I've had in 5 days! WOOHOO, probably cause I'm keeping my dream journal right next to my bed now, it reassures me that I'll remember my dream.:D