non-lucid

My dreams are normally more wild & wacky than this. Like the volleys of black arrows at the end of "organ," most are like that most of the time. These are pretty tame.

00:00 Friday October 18
00:22 bedtime
02:51 Trippy bus music, bag, messed up bus stop

1) Daytime riding near the back of a bus on old high school route approaching parent’s home about 2 stops away. There are some guys hatching some sort of plan, it involves leaving a bag on the bus. They leave the bag (like a big sports/gym bag) on the bus, I go sit next to it and put my hand through the handles. Trippy drug music plays on the bus, kind of like “HWAH WAH Wah wah…. HWAH WAH Wah wah… ” kind of wave like and I move my left hand in an up and down motion to this music (kind of like the motion of putting your hand out the window of a car, swooping up and down in the wind). As the bus descends the hill to my stop, I pull the cord to signal the stop. I get off. At the bus stop are several recycling containers overflowing with computer code print outs. It’s the results of the programming competition. The correct results are printed in black ink, the incorrect results printed in red ink. I need to figure out what happened why we got the wrong answers. There is also a bunch of food garbage strewn around on the street around the stop, the whole area is very messy with printouts and food in and around the containers. I start straightening up the bus stop. DC says “wasn’t there some other young fellow responsible for all of this? Shouldn’t he clean it up?” I agree and will let that other guy finish cleaning up.

05:06 sandwiches, play an organ, drunk, friend at work

2) Standing in a large atrium/opening with some people and a pipe organ console and an organist. After a demonstration by the organist for some students, I asked if I could play the organ, I said I wanted to be a concert pianist and play the pipe organ. The organist says “Yeah but once you get into one school it’s really hard to finish the other one,” I answer “they never tell you that, do they?” They’re reluctant to let me play it but decide to let me play it. They say “your hands need to be clean” and I think about wiping my hands on my pants, “and you need to put your butt way over here” (about 3 meters away from the keyboard, I won’t be able to reach the keys!). I want to get right up to it, then they give me a tiny toy keyboard with just some buttons on it. I want to play the famous Bach Toccata and Fugue in D minor ). I see a button marked “B-flat” on the toy keyboard and press it. The Bach piece starts playing by itself and I feel cheated that I don’t get to play it myself. The students around the organ start wildly dancing/jumping around to the organ music, and eventually they break up in to two groups and start lobbing thick volleys of black arrows back and forth at each other.

3) A group of friends and I are massively horribly drunk. I’m covered by yellow slime. I take off my shirt and see that the yellow printing on the tshirt is what is coming off on my skin. It’s a college shirt. As we’re leaving someone says “are you OK to drive?”. I consider this fairly seriously, I don’t feel all that drunk. I answer “I feel I’m pretty OK.” DC says “as long as you get to 2% it’s OK, then you can take a breathalyzer test.” I think that everyone should rip off a piece of the bar (there are poles along the bar) and use them as walking sticks.

4) At N (old company), to SC (old boss), I say “you wouldn’t let me stay in the company building on Christmas alone after closing, would you?” Sitting at a computer, not my main work place, childhood friend MR is there, I don’t want to leave him alone in the building after I leave. I’ve taken a big risk of bringing him inside. If he messes something up they’re going to trace his entrance back to me. I realize that I have 3 monitors set up already, and another one is also sitting on the desk, I could make it 4 if I wanted to.

5) In parent’s house (DS) going up back steps to garage, sister is there and she is talking about the tastiest bread, ranking the different kinds of breads. “Buttered rye, sourdough, wheat…” Then ranking them by which ones make the best toast and which ones make the best sandwiches. We’re driving out of the garage and I realize that everyone’s leaving I may get back first and they may turn on the alarm and I don’t know the code.

05:45 get up for WBTB.

06:03 BTB Room temp 16C, close windows.

Long time getting back to sleep. Fade into sleepiness several times, into and out of light sleep, no dream recall.

07:43 I’m “elected” to get up and make breakfast for everyone, just as I’m really sleepy and ready for some major dream time. Room temperature 18C.

I'm with Kayley and her family (P&D) at a random house. I find out that she has lost her child due to a miscarriage. I'm trying to sleep on the couch, until Kayley's boyfriend arrives. I begin to rub my head due to have a headache/pressure in the head. The boyfriend asks what's wrong? I begin to tell him about my issue, but not long after I seem to stop talking out of my mouth and begin to start finishing the rest of the convocation through talking in my head. I tell him I'm sorry if you didn't get everything I was saying, because I finished the rest of the convocation in my head and couldn't help it. He understands and is all cool. I pass him a empty bottle of something, where I had my sweaty hands around the lid. Kayley and her BF decide to bake a cake. I joke around by saying is that gluten free cake?! and Kayley says yes in a sarcastic manner. I look at the mixture in the bowl and it looks pretty chunky, with apples through it. I'm thinking about maybe helping them.

Dream Fragment: (DEILD attempt)
I see myself in the mirror, and my body looks very defined, ripped lean muscle. I see the dream fading and I catch it and turn it into a DEILD. I focus on the last scene I saw in my dream and the scene begins to open up, but I get too excited and try to enter the scene too early, which ends my attempt.
I've been impatient lately, I really need to just let it flow and happen

I was packing for an air plane trip, don't remember where to or why, and I realized I had prepared 2 water bottles, and can't take those through airport security, so I had to figure out what to do with them instead.

I cannot remember too much of this dream.

What I can remember though is briefly visiting a zoo (Not too many details there unfortunately..!), and then heading home. In my arms I had a wild bird that I found while visiting the zoo, who was badly hurt. I was taking care of this bird, tending to it. My parents kept trying to toss the bird out of the window though, but I kept it firmly protected and out of their grip for the journey..!

Dream 1.

The dream starts with a young woman being chased by another woman who is trying to attack her. I don't actually see how it happens but there is a trail of body part on the ground as approach what appears to be a body on some rocks. I think I pick up a hand......TBC

Dream 2.

I am in a multi-story building with a group of people and we are being chased by a T-rex dinosaur. Every body is running around in an attempt to avoid being eaten. One by one the group of people is getting smaller as the T-rex seemingly finds us no matter where we go. I start running up some stairs making my way to the roof top where I think I'll be safe but a woman is yelling at me something along the lines of "Don't go to the roof, there's nowhere to hide."

We arrive on the top floor and I begin frantically kicking at a window, trying to get outside. I manage to break the glass enough to squeeze through so I crouch down and begin to do so. I get half way out and get stuck. As I look to my left I see the T-rex standing on top of a ledge looming over me. I see him jump, knowing that he will attack me but next thing I know I am inside the building and it is a woman who has crawled through the window. I then witness her get eaten.

I run down a flight of stairs and see that the T-rex has taken one of us as a hostage and has the man sitting in a barbers chair cutting his hair. WTF! I say something that I cant recall and the dinosaur says something back.

Dream 1 cont.

There is a large group of people gathered around the woman's body on the rock who everyone presumes is dead. Suddenly she interrupts the jeering crowd by getting up and announcing that she will never recover from her injuries and that she will just have to learn to live with them.

Night of October 18, 2013. Friday.



In my dream, an unknown dark-haired female of about thirty or younger is working as a secretary for a business man, apparently working on at least three pages from his (handwritten in blue ink) dream journal at an outdoor cafe in Brisbane (the separate pages of which are on a chair to her left) in copying them onto the computer after writing them out herself prior to that (not sure why she has to write them out by hand again - maybe his writing is a bit hard read, thus difficult to directly work from). The dreams appear to be shorter or concisely summarized, some made up of about three smaller paragraphs of only about four or five sentences.

After a time (I think while working on the third dream journal page), she suddenly seems gripped by some sort of incredible power that completely takes over her body and she sinks back in the chair and writes perfectly and evenly on a mostly blank page while her eyes seem rolled up into her forehead (not due to an entity - but the universe itself). She writes a formula over the page, which takes up about four and a half lines of larger writing. I do not remember it, but it seemed fairly viable at first, though eventually ridiculously layered or complex. Part of it is relating to something like C5 times C6 plus C5 times C6, seen as ((C5 * C6) + (C5 * C6)), so there are also embedded sections using sets of double parentheses. Near the middle of the page, it appears some of the formula is logarithmic, somehow caused by writing over vague impressions of numbers which were already on the paper - possibly related to the business address in a series of pale sample letterheads or watermarks. It looks as if it is something like C base 5 multiplied by C base 6 multiplied by C base 7 and so on (a very odd concept I have never seen in this way), also with some sort of nth (!) factorial to show permutations (quite possibly relating to all the other dimensions or “hidden facets” of the universe or of time/eternity). However, it also seems like another section uses a similar or the same (business watermark?) pattern but in exponential progression (relative to the same watermark being used as a superscript rather than a subscript), for example C to the fifth times C to the sixth times C to the seventh, etc.

However, I am not sure, for a time, if such as C5 (or C6 using the same line of reasoning) would mean variable C times 5 or instead, some sort of computer code formula with C5 representing a BASIC (string) variable of one value (which would not have to be a multiple of five). However, overall, over time, it looks like a plain algebraic construct - so it must mean a standard operation of C times 5, C times 6, etc.

In my dream, the whole thing came out very clearly and slowly so that I was aware - exactly - of what it all was as she was writing it, but now I have mostly forgotten it, which is kind of annoying really, because I think some of the watermark-based nuances might have been a false “replay” of her actual prior writing. In my dream, she comes to with an unusual look of uncertainty on her face.

16.10.2013

Huge casino hotel and winning the lottery. (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was in some sort of hotel/casino. It was a huge casino actually, bigger than Vegas itself.

I was with Fabian and we were going to head to an amusement park inside a mall, but on our way, I met with a young lady who really had a crush on me. She appeared to be the manager of an old job I had, she hired me again almost against my will. I wondered what my former boss would thinka and how I was going to work on my readings.

The lady told me farewell and I went with my friend to the amusement park, which ended out to be pretty bad. We found ourselves a matress to fall asleep and before going to sleep, I had an argument over the phone with that manager.

I kind of felt bad about it and tried to meet her. She kissed and hugged me and told me that everyhing was cool. I told her I would meet her on Monday at work and wondered if I had my same old schedule.

I realized that I won the lottery, for 15 milliion dollars.

15.10.2013

Odd mexico visit. (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I went to mexico because I needed to buy some cans of coke as my boss requested me to do. For some reason, I felt very tired and in a really bad shape, so it was even hard for me to walk.

After I cross the border, I was in some sort of wilderness, and there were some bugs around, until one, tiny white bug that looked like a leech bite me. I started to feel dizzy and feeling sick, as I had no idea what type of bug bite me and I felt poison.

I kept working on finding the cases of coke so I asked someone where to find some. It appears, that this someone was a psychic who tried to hypnothize me againsts my will, but she was not successful.

I felt that I would better pick up a cab and ask for directions, as I was feeling to uneasy. I asked the driver about a store were I could buy them. He told me to go down the street, three lights and then turn left. I wondered if they would accept US dollars.

I felt unsafe, so I went up to pick my car, like if I was going to cross back to the US. I wondered if I had my passport, as I did not recall picking it up before heading to mexico.

There were cops encouraging children to do crimes

Okay, so I decided to start up my dream journal again since I have been having more interesting dreams lately.
It has literally been months since I have had these interesting dreams pop up in my sub-conscious, but now since the engine on dreams is running up again I will begin recording them day-to-day.

I took a nap today. This is the first dream that has had month detail in a long while. It started where I was remembering a dream about a chaotic school shooting that happened in a past dream memory. I was having a memory of a dream I already had. The dream I was remembering stood out like the moon in the night. The premise of the dream was that I was being ganged up on inside a school while some people were on my side and others were against me. In ways it was like the grand theft auto games where you have gang shoot outs but the goal was not clear and we did not know what we were doing there. Anyways after this dream memory I then was looking at a dark dream atmosphere. It looked like I was in a dark street area, it wasn't scary though. It was then revealed to me suddenly that I should 'get-away' from someone but I did not know who. I gathered up what seemed to be a few people who followed me close until they reached their parents, children, house, or just went off and left.

I was alone with two figures at the end, one of them was craving meat and said he needed to eat after this long journey. He kind of looked like a werewolf but huge and bulky, he ran along and came back seconds later with a meal. The second figure was way smaller and flew around or something. I was disgusted that they were animals and ran away.

I was then on this huge ship. The ironic thing is that the ship was supposed to resemble the flying ships from gekko state and U.F Force from Eureka 7. I was apparently on the U.F. force but it reminded me of a civil war, like a civil war was literally happening on the ship. I was running past the barriers and trying to distract these soldiars while somehow continuously running around in circles and not having a clue what the hell was happening. After the action seemed to die down I ran as far to the front of the ship as I could and then had to hide behind this curtain like a blob. I then had an intuition that I saw the man who was looking for me. He turned out to be Colonel Dewey Novak also from eureka 7.

It is so odd, I just dream about random anime shows from the past.

Dream 1(fragments):

Some video game, exploring fairly dark hospital place, then fighting some enemies on the streets.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was watching video of what looked like old tomb raider game, the level was located in caves and was pretty easy, but author was speedrunning it instead, perfecting each movement and jump.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was playing Terraria with some people and i had a minigun that could fire coins(Didn't looked like Coin gun though) and 800 gold coin ammo for it as well as 600 of 'normal ammo'. The map was pretty small and instead of dungeon there was a huge castle. We were building small base near it and game was randomly shifting to 3D at times. Then we used a skull to summon skeletron a few times and destroy it.

Dream 4(fragments):

Something going on in the desert.

Dream 5(fragments):

Some kind of GMod-like game, someone was playing around with huge futuristic car thing running over a ton of NPCs.

Well, I had some dream journal entry involving a lucid dream I had the night before last. I can't remember it now, of course. (Lousy Recall) I'll just recap last night's dream with hopes of improving that.

The strange thing about last night was that there were three dreams that were intertwined in a way and I kept going between the three.

Dream #1. I was in a small creek in some grassy field. From the feel of the location and my innate "dream sense" I had a feeling that I was in the baseball field outside my high school. The creek was inaccurate (it isn't there in RL) and was very shallow with a lot of round rocks in it. The water was very cold.
There was another dream character there, I couldn't make them out at first, but I'll tell you more when they were actually revealed to me.

Dream #2. I was in my home town. It was a cold, but sunny day. I was doing something with my taekwondo studio and we were talking about doing some kind of demonstration in front of the entire town. At the time, we were in the actual studio, and practicing like we usually do in class.

Dream #3. I was flying above a grassy meadow. But it looked artificial, it was perfectly flat for as far as the eye could see. It actually reminded me of playing Minecraft on a superflat world.
There was another "presence" in the dream, somebody who I could tell was powerful. They seemed interested in military tactics and combat. They began to use some power to place various types of tanks around the field, and then activated them and had them do battle, while explaining to me the complex strategies that were employed.

Dream #1. I was back in the creek. The hazy dream character was still there, and I noticed that I was near sighted. The dream was only vivid in the... 10 feet around me. Everything beyond that seemed very blurry.
A small green snake slithered up the rocks on the side of the creek and tried to bite me. I fought it for awhile, somehow grabbing its head with my hands, trying to force it away and get it to leave. The snake seemed very strong.
The shady dream character started talking about the second dream, and I went back to it.

Dream #2. I was in the cafe in my town, still with the group from my taekwondo studio. A few of my close friends were there as well. Everyone seemed very confused about this demonstration, and everyone was bickering amongst one another about when it should happen or who should be involved.
I looked at a cup on the table, one of those paper coffee cups with the plastic lids. I began thinking that it was strange... I thought my taekwondo studio just DID their demonstration last month. Before I could question further, dream #3 took hold.

Dream #3. I was back over the field. The presence returned and told me it was going to see how many individual soldiers "the system could handle". It created some kind of general guy, then a ton of soldiers that stood in rows behind him. The presence told me that there were more than three million soliders, but I don't think I was seeing more than a couple hundred.

Dream #2. Back to the coffee shop. I was stepping outside, being followed by a few others. and the bickering had seemed to escalate as though the situation had gotten increasingly more complex. Now we were also going to march in some parade, and one of the kids was sick, so we had to make accommodations somehow. I tried to offer my own input, but it only led to more bickering amongst the other dream characters.
I looked at a bike, supposedly mine, that was chained to a lamp post outside the shop. I began thinking as I stared at the bike lock, about how this sort of petty bickering seems to be one of my dream signs. I once more was about to grasp the fact that I was dreaming when...

Dream #1. I was still holding the snake by the head. This setting became much more clear now. The creek and the grass around it, as well as the sky, that was a dull blue. I was still holding the snake. I decided that I'd had enough and picked up one of the large rocks. I was going to smash the snake's head and kill it.
The distant dream character entered my view. For some reason what I remember about him was his clothes, and how he was sitting. I never got a good look at his face until the very end.
He was tall and thin, and he had a black coat with a gold embroidery on the front and collar. It was unbuttoned showing a white undershirt with large black square buttons on it. And the way he was sitting, with his legs crossed. I only looked at this for a moment, until he got down and stood in the creek with me. (The creek was in a ravine about four feet deep)
When he got down, I looked up at him. I was ready to crush the snake's head with the rock. He just had this smile. It was the most evil smile that I had ever seen. The snake slithered out of my hand and went behind me, and began slithering around on the back of my legs. I stood up and turned around to grab it. It was too late, the snake bit me, and I awoke.

Okay, I am sorry, my dream journal has been acting REALLY flakey lately.

Date: 15 Oct

Pre bed: 1xGingko combo (Gingko, Ginseng, lecithin, mate)

TST: 6.5 hrs

Bad night of sleep thanks to the neighbors.

LD: At grandma's place and am trying to make a cup of tea by using the boiling water from the tap. However, I can't find the tea anywhere. There is a butler whose name is Charles. We go out and he is driving me to the street where we are supposed to pick the tea from some sort of office. There is snow everywhere, I play with it with my hands. Feels normal.

I become lucid, but have no immediate task in mind. Instead, I decide to play along and go to where we were headed and see what happens. I am a bit uncertain about being able to generate an office, but walk towards the building. The entrance's at the back and I enter the yard. There is some weird flickering going on. I wonder what's that about. The street light has problems? There are electricity cables connected to it and as I move, they get in the way of the light from the lamp, producing this flickering effect. I can't believe this level of detail/effect is possible. Anyways, I continue on my way, get in the building, now there's this guy with me. The office is supposed to be on the first floor. I almost lose lucidity here as the stairs get extremely deformed and narrow, I fail to reach my destination and go back to the building entrance.

The guy is with me and now there is a woman in the team. They are both dressed with green overalls and are like prisoners from an alien colony. They talk about the guy having some sort of disease. We head towards the street, they are holding 3 guns like Uzzis but green as well. Cool, I am thinking very enthusiastically that we are going to have some sort of dream adventure. At this moment I remember to try to get them to join me in my AF TOTY quest. I turn towards what feels like the city center and think about AF. I can hear the sound of falling/running water and soon see that have caused a large city type of river to appear. Initially, there are 3 jets of water as if coming from a fountain, but actually coming from the river. I have the feeling that AF would be hard to form here, but still think the scene is good for the Great Barrier Reef Task. I come closer to the riverbank, the water is quite deep, extremely clear and is about to overflow from my side. In my mind, this is the Great barrier reef already. I gather a bit of courage and plunge.

The scene disappears and my body faces the bottom of what looks like the ocean. It's hard to see as it is very similar to when one is really trying to see underwater. My entire body is submerged in this clear, somewhat shallow water. There is enough light and I can feel the sun shining bright above and as hard as it is to see clearly, I can distinguish lots of grains of sand just below me. I struggle to get a better view of everything, but the impression of having water in the eyes and not adapting yet, remains. I think about the next step, corals, but they are nowhere in sight. At the same time, I think about the sea turtle that's supposed to be here (CL that's from you!) and can see the turtle swimming in the water with the sand right in front of me. In addition to that, I can hear a joyful marine type of tune playing softly in the background. I am still struggling with this watery blurry vision though and it finally gets the best of me and the dream totally fades.

1. First, I dreamed I was with a friend of mine. We were walking down the street, somewhere in Florida (I think), trying to find a park, and for some reason there were like sculptures that turned into other things, or they came alive and followed us... I can't remember...

2. Then I dreamed I was in some sort of mansion with lots of halls and rooms. It was dark, gothic, and maze-like. There was some sort of party going on. I was with a friend of mine, who was some sort of monster/vampire/demon (but he was friendly... at least to me). He was actually a much younger looking variant of the Warlock character who shows up from time to time, but he wasn't (as) self-aware. We both looked and acted like teenagers.
I was looking for a different costume to wear, he helped me sneak into a room but told me to be very quiet. The reason was because there were demons behind some curtains, and noise would wake them up. I was scared and very cautious about moving around the room. The room was full of all sorts of costumes and garments, and I picked out some crazy stuff. Think goth-on-acid. Then, we left the room. We went back to the main party room, which was like huge theater, and there were sculptures covered in gold on the ceiling. We went to another room, which turned out to actually be outside, and there was a whole field of lilies in the clearing of a forest. We wandered around in the forest, and there were different clearings with different flowers, including some lilacs with kind of a yellow-gold hue. My friend made a joke about me liking lilacs (I don't remember what it was).

3. The dream shifted (definitely a different dream) and I was in a farmhouse. I had several sisters, older and younger, the youngest was about 8. There was an "evil" sister, whose skin was all white, and she had huge circles under her eyes, and ratty blonde hair... we'd thrown her out of the house, and she was even supposed to be dead.
I send the youngest sister out to go bury the seedling for a tree. I don't remember why. It was daylight, but by night she hadn't returned, and at night the 'evil' sister was trying to get into the house. For some reason, if we could keep her out until midnight, she would go away forever. We had nailed chicken wire over the windows, so if she broke them, she still couldn't get in. I also ran around closing all the doors and locking them, including one that she almost made it to. She was sort of zombielike but I was worried she'd still be smart enough to find and use a wire-cutter. I spent some time rattling the windows with a stick to scare her away, but it would just draw her attention. The youngest sister I sent out never came back, and I was worried that my older sisters would be angry with me for sending her out. I was also worried she WOULD come back, and we'd have to open the door for her, and risk letting the other one in.
I don't know if we ever won or what happened to the youngest sister. The dream faded.

4. I dreamed I was underwater. I could breathe just fine. There was some sort of short blond kid I didn't recognize. I got an octopus stuck in my ear and it was really gross. That's all I remember of the last dream.

at a restaurant, or at a political meeting that had a restaurant's menu. i was looking at the menu, with my mom. i was trying to decide what to get. there was a pork thing that looked ok, kind of like pork fajitas. but something about it wasn't perfect. the pork looked really plain and boring. there was a sandwich on a huge loaf of bread, it looked gross cause it had too much bread. and it came with this weird rice patty that didnt look good...plus that would be too much starchy in one meal. i asked my mom if there were more choices on the other isle.

i found old pictures, and was going thru. they took a couple seconds of movement. it was some fancy film my mom had gotten me once. i decided i really liked it, and since technologty could handle it these days, i'd get it more often. there were pictures of old guys i used to date. or jessica did. 3 guys, all 3 pretty decent cute. i went into the memory, and got the 2 cutest so we could hook up or kiss or something. they seemed to be remembering me, a little playing uninterested, but they came with me.

at this political thing with my mom and other people. a lady gets a bouquet. she asks where she should put it, should it be displayed in a certain way for the event's benefit? no, the flowers are just for her own personal use in whatever way she would like, the event has enough
bouquets of its own. so she is happy, and tries to find a vase to keep them in. i look with her. there are two vases. one looks much to big and wide. so i pick the other one. she wants to keep the flowers private for herself. wheni put them in the vase, part of the boquet gets smushed in the sides because the side flowers are too short and go too deep into the vase so the glass covers them. i'm disappointed, and know she must not be satisfied with that. i think maybe the wide one would be better, even if it is too big, at least the wideness wouldnt smush the flowers. but i think the boquet might already be somewhat damaged, so it wont even be as pretty as it was. the side flowers were pretty delicate




notes:
just got home from moms, back at my house. barely got any sleep. stayed up all night reading about dreams and lucid dreaming, wanting to do that.

dreamt about my mom, political event and food because my mom is really invovled in politics right now and always going to events for it, and food because i am on a new diet with my brother that is low carb/starch/sugar. the flowers were like when i volunteer at the farmer's market and bill gives us a boquet of flowers as a thank you to take home with us.
i dont know why i dreamt of the boys or photos. maybe because i was looking at photos on my computer last night, and i wouldnt mind some male companionship. amanda did just send an email saying how she thinks i really do want sex and a man, just am not focusing on it right now.

what this dream could mean: i want to fulfill my desires, i want to make the right choices, but sometimes the choice doesn't even seem to be 'on the menu' or available, so i just have to settle for something that won't be too bad. i'm learning what i want and what things i like and starting to make decisions about how i want my life to be and how i want to spend my time. (like recording my dreams again and doing dream work and trying to lucid dream etc) i have a desire to help people and i think i am recieving a good thing, nice insights, great talent, opportunities etc, but i dont have the right "container" for them, to support the life i desire, maybe not living in the right place, dont have the right community, or enough energy, etc....need to find the right container because i feel like the delicate beauty in my life is being spoiled and not seen.

Still recovering my sleeping schedule from that spicy food encounter, my dream recall is getting back on track. I set an alarm for 4:15 am and could not get back to bed til around 7 am no matter what I tried, I put on white noise and put a pillow inbetween my legs, read my calculus textbook and "relieved" myself, all things that make me sleepy but to no effect. My dream recall may take a dip because I plan on sleeping for a full 8 hours so that once my body gets used to it I can go back to waking up at 4 and going back to sleep no problem.

Anyways here are my dreams from last night, or this morning rather:

7 am
Dream 1: I am in some house in a rural area. It looks like a vacation home and I feel as if my whole family is there but they all went out to go somewhere and I stayed home. I had to replace the batteries in this one device, it had 4 energizer batteries and the one that I had to replace said "16 weeks" and no charge when I did the little test on the battery. So I replaced it with the other smart living batteries. Im amazed how realistic the batteries were when I put them in. I get the batteries in the device and put the dead battery in the smaller device that works with only 1 working battery and its some sort of laser/flashlight. I lock myself in this small room and feel like I left my phone outside but see it on the table. At this point I suddenly become aware someone else is in the house. I am in the small dark room and I hear their footsteps outside. I try to keep my hands on the doorknob in case the person knows how to unlock the door and he tries to rattle it as hard as he can but I hold on until I wake up.

8:30 am (false awakening)
Dream 2: I feel like I wake up and am doing something in the basement when I see a white widow spider on tv, this guy is on a nature show and talking about the spider in its natural habitat. The spider is this giant spider thats legs span about 8 inches and has a white marking on the spiders abdomen. There is some gap in memory of the dream here, then I see a white widow spider right next to me so I go upstairs. My mom made this beef stew thing so I start eating it. I start telling her I need to eat whole grains while I eat this meal. The meal Im eating has beef, tomatoes, a crapload of jalapenos, and some green leaf or vegetable. (sounds kind of disgusting irl). At this point I tell her theres a white widow spider downstairs and we go down. Then I show her where it is and it starts running across a strand of string it has and right on to my dog shadows face. Im about to try to kill the spider before it bites my dog then I wake up.

Whats strange is the second dream felt so real as opposed to my other dreams I had no idea it was a dream. Other dreams I somehow know they are a dream but don't have the full conciousness to realize im dreaming yet.