non-lucid

April 22, 2003:
I know I've been studying too much when I have a dream that I live in a library!

April 27, 2003:
Every time I close my eyes, I dream that I'm studying - or I'm in a library, or something. The insomnia's worse than the dreams.

April 28, 2003:
All night I had dreams about exams - that as I was going to take my exam, a huge tornado hit, and I had to go and hide in one of the offices. For some reason, my old Geography professor was doing paperwork there. I was supposed to fill out this form explaining that I couldn't take my exam because of a tornado. Then my brother got hit by a car with these 2 annoying prissy girls in it. They broke his leg and they kept trying to compensate us for it by giving us makeup... my mom was really pissed off, so was I, he didn't seem to give a damn, and Mom told them she'd see them in court. Then I found out that I'd been exempt from the exam to begin with - EXCEPT that I was supposed to have turned in ANOTHER form verifying that I was, indeed, exempt...

April 29, 2003:
I had a dream that there was some sort of alternate dimension, and we were on a film project to film it, or something. And it was just a huge movie, and all of the people in there were actors - they knew they were actors, and would go to other dimensions to "star" in them (like movies). So there was this one, and he had really long black hair, and he was supposed to be like the antihero/supervillain type, and he starred in this one dimension as a swordsman (a la Highlander) and then hopped to the next to become an evil sorcerer. But he didn't start out as one - just as a sort of twisted, misguided sorcerer. Then he got into a fight with this humongous hairy beast, and it killed his son, and he got all angsty/dangerously insane, and created a dimensional bubble where he screwed with reality. Then he turned into a woman.

April 1, 2003:

First I have a dream I'm a 40 yr old policeman taking my nephew (or was it my son?) out with me because he wants to see what cops do on the job... it seemed safe, I was just doing highway patrol. I pull this car over after some difficulty... the coast seems clear enough. Then the guy jumps out of the car and starts making a run for it... my nephew gets out of the car, to find out what's going on, and the guy shoots him twice. Then he shoots me.

Then I had a dream about a basilisk... I got some eggs, I knew what they were and was hoping they didn't hatch... but one started hatching, so I ran away. The basilisk followed me and it was pissed that I'd abandoned it. So I had to take care of it. Unfortunately, I couldn't look directly AT it or I'd die, so I had to carry it around in my hand and not look toward my left- EVER.

Then I had some other dream. I don't remember it very well... except that I was little again, and going to all of these old places from all of my childhood memories, except now all of them were located in one neighborhood and it was a short walk from place to place. I ran into an old coach who seemed to remember me very well, but I didn't really remember him. I asked if I'd played baseball for his team... he said no, he'd been my old martial arts teacher. We walked outside through the neighborhood for a while. Then he showed me some sparring techniques.

Morning of January 7, 2003. Tuesday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and I are in an unfamiliar restaurant, seemingly in early afternoon, and near a large window (about a restaurant table away in distance, as other people are at tables closer to the window as such), from about two feet from the floor to about two feet from the ceiling, with a wide view of the ocean, rocky shore, and a red lighthouse. I eventually get the impression that we are also in a lighthouse, though that is not very logical (as only one lighthouse is needed in a region), and our view via the window is at ground level.

Over time, my father (April 26, 1901-February 14, 1979) is seen in silhouette in the distance only. (My dream self has no recollection of his death, as is often the case in my non-lucid dreams.) He looks as if he is doing something with an air hose, bending down somewhat (in profile oriented to the right) towards something on or near the ground). I am aware that he may be involved in the maintenance of these buildings.

The lighthouse turns out to be (or rather, turns into) a rocket. It lifts off slowly, without incident. The beauty of the ocean also holds my attention and I “remember” we are near Cape Kennedy, though that was its name from 1963 to 1973, and is actually now known again as Cape Canaveral.

I have some doubts though, about remaining in the restaurant. There is some movement as if of a mild “earthquake”. It seems we are lifting off, yet the view from the window remains of the rocky shore with no hint that we are rising as it seems other than a mild physical awareness of such. Perhaps we are not actually in a rocket and the vibrations are from another rocket that is not presently seen.

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Most relevant key terms:

• Water induction as dream state initiation; water symbolizing sleep and its status (most common induction form, virtually every day for over fifty years in at least one dream of a twenty-four hour period).
• Exit flight waking symbolism (similar to return flight waking system but probably not as common, though basically meaning the same thing; RAS symbolism and inner ear dynamics in the waking transition).
• My wife Zsuzsanna in romantic scenario.
• Father alive without recollection he had died.
• Vibration as symbolic of growing awareness of my real physical body upon slowly waking.
• Being at a public restaurant (mild hunger while sleeping).
• Red as waking priority (common, typically only in the last dream of a sleeping period when I have been sleeping a bit too long).
• Waking symbolism (and dream self attention) oriented to the right (most common).

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Original journal entry dated Sept. 26, 2002:

I had a strange dream about shoplifting toddlers who ran around in costume all the time. It was... strange. And there was a dog in it. I can't remember much about the dog.

I had this dream that this one guy who looked a lot like an animated version of Hero from "RPG World", was leading all of us ([college friends], and I) on this one journey to collect these mystical stones. Everything was going VERY badly. We had to go to this one underwater Atlantis-like city, which was actually the ancient ruins of some advanced civilization of aquatic druids, and we all got a specific treasure item that was neat-o cool. Except one of my friends lost hers, because we got into a battle and she didn't get a chance to pick it up before some stupid mage cast a spell that teleported us about 50 miles out into the ocean, where we may have subsequently drowned if not for a passing ship. Anyway, we completed that quest, but she never got her item. On the next quest we went on we had to pass through that area again so we went back to kick some mage ass (on principle) and get her item. It turned out to be a Stone Of Greater Discounting. It allowed her character to buy rare and expensive items at FAR below normal price.

I had another dream that I had a camcorder and was videotaping a train ride I went on through the Rockies when I was about 14. The train ride actually happened, but I've never owned a camcorder, and as far as I know, in real life mountains don't breathe.

Original journal entry dated Aug. 18, 2002:

I had a dream that I made out with Kermit the Frog (?!). I hope this doesn't indicate some sort of weird Muppet obsession on my part. And then he changed into somebody else.

Then, I was fighting these dragons that were attacking me, only I had to fight them with chi as well as with my sword, and they were REALLY powerful, and I killed the strongest one by chopping his head in half.

Morning of January 1, 2002. Tuesday.

Dream #: 12,797-05. Reading time: 48 sec.



I am in the northeast corner of the Cubitis living room listening to records on a gramophone of surreal appearance. The scene does not trigger any sense of wrongness. I see it as “mine.”

I am later looking at a map of the Aleutian Islands, though I am unsure of what I am doing. I know what I am looking at has significance. The region is incorrectly above the northwest area of Australia, though I do not see it as incorrect. The world does not have much land. Most of the eastern hemisphere seems mainly small islands. (The scenario has occurred in other dreams.)

While outside, I see an unusual light in the sky. It is eventually clearer. It is a piece of the moon, shaped like a jigsaw puzzle piece. It is returning to the moon like a “spaceship.” I see cracks on the moon’s surface that define the shapes of standard jigsaw puzzle pieces. There is a sense of both peace and puzzlement.

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The main dream state indicator was “The Aleutian Islands,” “Aleutian” sounding somewhat like “illusion” (as a dream state reference). Jigsaw puzzle patterns occur when a dream causes puzzlement in ambiguous liminal space between dreaming and waking.

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Morning of January 1, 2000. Saturday.



I seem to be losing some teeth at first but that is not the case. Loose keys from the computer keyboard had somehow been in my mouth but I am not sure of how many (and I do not question how they would be there in the first place, though perhaps I had been blowing them dry after washing them as I had in real life recently and they somehow flew up into my mouth). Logic dictates that the individual keys would be too large to be mistaken for teeth in real life for the most part. In the last part of my dream, I am unsure whether any actual teeth of mine had come out, though it seems possible.

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This is slightly different than my usual losing teeth dreams, which I have had a few times per month since childhood. Trying to infer to me that losing teeth in dreams has any meaning relevant to waking life (other than in cases of literal prescience or concerns about a trip to the dentist) will be meant with a blank stare.

Losing teeth in a dream is not much different than the falling mechanism in physical hypnopompia, which also has no meaning other than the biological shifting of consciousness. How difficult can it be to understand something so obvious? The unconscious self cannot speak through the physical body, and so when undue attention is incidentally focused on a mouth that is not even there (other than by illusion), naturally the fictional teeth would “fall out” (or be perceived as doing such).

To further prove this, consider what has happened in this dream. Typing on a computer keyboard and speaking are both related to communication. The sleeping physical body cannot talk or communicate coherently in unconsciousness. It is also common to not be able to type correctly on a computer keyboard in a dream, which is also unrelated to waking life. It is simply because the dream self does not have neural access to critical thinking skills or defined time orientation.

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Morning of December 20, 1999. Monday. (My 39th birthday.)



I am the robot (of mostly black metal but red feet) that I got for Christmas in 1969 (from my father), except full-sized. I sometimes stop and slowly turn my upper body to either left or right each time in the way that the robot did. It seems to be late at night.

I cannot seem to produce lasers from my chest when I want, or have it open at times. I see lights flashing now and then, at first thinking my “chest lights” are flashing upon someone’s windows (with closed curtains), but one set seems to come from a police car that had stopped near me, possibly to investigate what I am doing. However, I stealthily start pulling large but light metal parts off of me (my upper arms first) and leave them behind as I walk home, only now remembering more of my conscious self identity, and not getting into trouble either, even though one part I drop makes a very loud clanging noise. Looking back to my left, one “robot part” is actually a large open end wrench, but bent in the middle at about a 140 degree angle. I consider that I might need this to remove the rest of my apparent costume, but decide not to risk it so as not to look as if I am meandering or up to mischief.

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As this dream was semi-lucid, I am well aware of the officer in the police car being the preconscious avatar of this dream for possible RAS modulation. However, I do not attempt to modulate any of my dream’s dynamics.

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Morning of June 23, 1998. Tuesday.



I am not sure of the time but the front door to our apartment is rattling as if someone is trying to come in.

I carefully check it out and open our front door. Our (real-life) landlord is there doing something with a ladder in the hallway of the apartment house.

I say, “Oh, it’s you. I thought someone was trying to break in here.”

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A ladder usually represents an autosymbolic precursor for the return to full consciousness, which is something I clearly understood even at four years of age. The hallway setting is mostly incidental but still represents a “conduit” associated with the waking process in a similar manner as an alley.

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Either our landlord or an unknown intruder would still represent RAS personification, which represents the preconscious state. Still, as our landlord, it would suggest that I perceive my emergent consciousness as the “owner” of the dream state (at least to some degree) whereas burglars (or unexpected or unwanted intruders) suggest that I am not non-lucidly controlling my dream to the extent as in this scenario. However, in non-lucid dreams, intruders or imposers are sometimes more assertive and knowledgeable than my temporary dream self, which confirms the (precursory) essence of the conscious mind my dream self lacks and of which the preconscious only has to a limited degree. Being near a doorway also represents being closer to the waking point in many cases (though can also serve as induction into apex lucidity and full awareness and control in the dream state).

Checking a door to see if it is locked in a dream (or an event that implies potential intrusion) is usually RAS (reticular activating system) mediation, sometimes caused by a real environmental noise at the time of the dream and sometimes with preconscious concern over whether it is locked - as I once discovered that our door was indeed unlocked after getting up after a waking start from a similar dream as this one. This is otherwise a common type of waking process autosymbolism, which I label “doorway waking symbolism” (though remember that dreams are not symbolic in the way of popular misconception, and that this refers to the dream state, not waking life, and my dream’s dynamics in real-life context are literal here).

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Morning of June 1, 1998.

Reading time: 1 min 47 sec. Readability score: 62.



Some common factors occurred in these segments of June 1, 1998. I travel back in time to see Zsuzsanna as she was growing up. She is with her mother in a park. In one scene, I become annoyed at some unknown people. I rise in the air and hover above the ground to express my annoyance. There are no hostile reactions. I do not become lucid even though this type of natural vestibular system correlation often triggers lucidity. (I have always deliberately flown easily in both non-lucid and lucid dreams since earliest memory, an average of more than once per sleep cycle all my life, though even in non-lucid dreams, I typically see it as natural and automatic. In this case, it is somewhat similar to when I experience bliss when I find myself in sleep paralysis and try to increase my focus, which usually causes waves of pleasure and a rising sensation. The difference is that I am aware of my real physical body being horizontal. From the time when I was very young when in sleep paralysis, I have rolled my eyes up to focus on the center of my forehead. It increases the buzzing sensations and “rolling waves” from head to toe and back that bring a sense of bliss. The additional presence I feel is always of love. I find it baffling how the majority experience the opposite when in sleep paralysis. It is one of the public concepts about the subject of dreams that do not add up when focusing on my own lifelong experiences.)

In another scene, I am in a boat traveling over the ocean. At least two monkeys (male and female) live in an abandoned Noah’s Ark on the beach. It is much smaller than it should be, not much bigger than a houseboat. My skiff sits on the sand, a few feet from the shoreline.

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A boat is typically a reactive representation of the physical body when vestibular system correlation is present, not that much different than unaided flight, though does not always trigger lucidity in response. In one case in 1978, I tried to maintain control of a lucid dream, though my body ended up on a floating board, as vestibular system correlation become more linked to the awareness of my real physical body as being in bed. In a dream from 2013, my body is perceived as a “ship” to help people escape, though I eventually swim and slide through tunnels (a common dream event). In another dream from 2016, I am aware of a sailboat in which the sails are my lungs and seem to correlate with my breathing.

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Resupplemented on Tuesday, 14 August 2018.

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Morning of May 8, 1998. Friday.



I am in a vivid dream, though not fully lucid at any point. I enter the post office south of our home (while it is seemingly closed) that I have only been to a couple times in real life. I apparently have a special key to open different post office boxes and drawers (recurring). For some reason I never see it as stealing (likely because of my awareness of it being a dream at one level).

I eventually find a stack of small orange packages. There is a set of large earrings and a necklace in one package. The jewelry is round and golden with an unusual and unfamiliar design oriented toward the center. Our surname appears in the newspaper at one point and I contemplate if this is because someone had “reported” me for having the key as there is something about being “caught on camera” in the post office.

This afternoon, in real life, I actually did end up going to the post office to pick up a completely unexpected prize my wife Zsuzsanna won; a baby diary and an instant one-use camera. Her name had been in the newspaper the day before (though we had not seen the newspaper until later today and did not know about the prize until later today regarding a pick-up ticket in our mailbox). Although she did not win any jewelry, the design of the jewelry was the exact same pattern as the picture on the camera (which I myself had not seen before).

Morning of May 3, 1998. Sunday.



In my vivid dream, I meet Don Knotts. Curiously, he is young and assertive and not like typical characters he has played in movies. I tell him how much I enjoyed his movie “The Incredible Mr. Limpet”, especially the scene where he is dreaming and the stealth bomber transforms into a manta ray (possibly one of the eeriest surreal scenes I have seen in any movie, and for me, very nostalgic). We remain in cheerful conversation as I wake. (I enjoyed the mood of this dream very much.)

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Format of dream: Water induction (implied) to rendering of preconscious avatar (Don Knotts) to the waking autosymbolism of vestibular system correlation as the flight-related event, also liminally associated with the surreal transformations that often occur in dreams. Of course, the fact that I am describing a dream in my dream is a dream state indicator.

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I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

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Morning of April 8, 1998. Wednesday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and I own some sort of large game, which is as long as one side of the Gellibrand Street kitchen (the side with the internal door, the north wall), where a toy canoe goes across a conveyor-belt-like mechanism that simulates a journey by river where you have to gather a few things worth points as well as go around areas that come up from trapdoors in the “river” (playing field), such as (toy) alligators. I suppose in some ways it is like a real-life mechanical version of a computer game. The game seems mostly made of plastic with metal features. Gears cause different things to come up out of the simulated water imagery.

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Morning of January 4, 1998. Sunday.



I am near a water reservoir in an unfamiliar location which has apparently been contaminated by army tanks and jeeps somehow ending up in it (though I am not sure of how this had happened). A man who reminds me of Bill Gates (and who may be him) starts warning people about this situation and says that people could start dying. However, the problem is supposedly being solved (in a seemingly timely manner) by putting large plastic tarpaulins over the inside walls of the reservoir (though that does not seem logical as I do not think water could properly filter through them). I help with the task and it is seemingly working. In an additional dream or offset of this sequence, I am dancing and chanting in a very positive and cheerful mood (commonly recurring).

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In dreams, water has been validated for me to represent sleep. The condition of water in a dream relates directly to the dynamics of sleep in real time. Water getting lower over time represents the natural waking transition, a scene which has occurred at least once virtually every night for the past fifty years. In this case, during the waking transition, there is even the additional tarpaulin association (dream sign) with bed sheets. Translated directly: “The water is contaminated by the presence of army tanks and jeeps in it though using tarpaulins to line the reservoir will filter the water” becomes, “Sleep is presently somewhat restless with conflicting thoughts towards waking but by relaxing more within comfortable clean sheets a bit longer, sleep will be better.”

Morning of September 20, 1997. Saturday.



In one dream, there is a science fiction movie called “1464”. There is a tribe of children on another Earth-like planet who can communicate with other creatures such as water bugs, frogs, and birds. (I am not sure of the significance of the number. It may be some sort of play on my last street address number in America.)

In seemingly a different dream, I am in the future where there are strange giant creatures around in the area I travel to. It is not nightmarish; just unusual.

In another dream, I take my mother to the city to do some shopping. I also get two “Reader’s Digest” magazines in the mail. Both issues have an incorrect variation of the address on the label (which used to happen a lot in real life with a lot of generic commercial mail, including junk mail). In my dream, I am wondering how such a thing could happen. (The most amusing time was when I received a catalog that read “I think” in the address after the street number and name - as if “I think” was a type of, or used in place of, “Street”.)