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1st time being lucid 2 times per night!

comment non-lucid semi/questioning lucid

Waking up at 10:00 (falling asleep around 5). Journaling 3 dream fragments.
Some problems with sleeping. 10:50 postman.

Hill and a subway
I am hiking to some hill and I take the subway on my way back. I am worried that I fail to get off at the correct station.

FA1
I am in some room, in a guest house, after coming back from the hike. It's the morning and I am putting on a long canvas dress, even though it looks weird and it is cold.

FA2
I am again in some kind of accommodation (possibly the same as in the previous dream) but the room is different. I really want to sleep but I am worried that it's too late and I don't know when the checkout time is. Then there is R and he is not worried at all. He offers me some breakfast cereals. I remember I've already eaten them and threw away the box (IRL). I am thinking that he probably hid/put aside some of them. I want him to find out when the checkout is.

FA3
I am again in the same room but this time, I am sleeping on a mattress on the ground, close to the bed from the previous dream. R is next to me, taking too much space and waking me up and I am mad because I want to sleep. Then I remember that we actually sleep somewhere else, so I should get enough sleep, even though I am not sleeping here.
Then the dream shifts to some time later and we are getting up. R is sitting on the mattress. I say "this is a FA" and do a nose-plug RC. I can breathe. But I am still confused and I can't see well. I ignore R (he doesn't exist anyway) and have the idea to find my glasses, maybe they help me with my vision. I go to the bed from FA2, trying to find them. I find it fascinating that I can be dreaming and moving at once. It's like I think I am sort of sleepwalking and the bed from FA2 is my real bed and my body is my real body. I find the glasses but I don't use them - I am thinking that this all is creating in my head so it would be pointless to try to wear the glasses.
I go to the window, thinking about jumping out and flying. But what if this is reality?
I go to the door and suddenly, my vision is much better and not blurry at all. I think I woke up (in my sleepwalking body). I do the nose-plug RC again and I can breathe, so I relax. I notice R is watching me and feel bad for ignoring him. I tell him that this is a FA and because he saw me doing the nose-plug RC, I try to show him finger-in-palm RC but it doesn't go through. I try it again, really believing it can go through, but nothing. I think I am really bad at this.
I finally remember my goal to pass through a wall. But there is no point in trying to go through a wall if I can't make my finger go through my palm.
I wake up. DEILD attempt failed.

Time: 12:40
I can't sleep. Some unstable minidreams.

MiniWILD
I can't sleep and I am feeling earthquake-like vibrations. It's annoying because I want to sleep but I am familiar with them and prepare for a separation attempt.
I stay at our garden door. I slowly sit down, remembering that I need to take things slowly and slowly try to separate. Then I realize I am not in my bed anymore, which means I am already separated.
The dream collapses.
Then there is another wave of vibrations. But nothing afterwards.
I can't sleep...

I wake up at 13:25, I want to get up. I take another cushion, put my glasses on, trying to find the will for journaling my dreams. But I feel too tired. I put the glasses away and close my eyes... ten more minutes... or maybe a WILD? Falling asleep feels easy.

PseudoWILD
I watch HI and daydream a little bit, interacting with the HI and dreamlets.
At one moment, I notice there is instrumental music in the background. I realize it is in my head and not outside, so I could use it to get into the dream. I focus on the music, trying to raise the volume.
Through small gaps in my eyes, I start to see a room. It works. But it fades a little bit and I feel my body in the bed (dream body, dream bed). I focus again and I can almost see through my eyes but also not really. I have the idea that my dream eyes are closed and I try to open them. It works. I close my eyes and open them again and my vision is very good.
I get up, slowly, worried about the stability of the dream, but it's fine and I walk a bit. I am in an unknown room, my dream bed is there and another bed/sofa. And R is here, I bump into him on my way to the door. He blocks my way out, I almost pass through him but not fully. I tell him "you are just a DC, you don't exist" (really meaning "you shouldn't be blocking my way"). He says nothing.
I take his hand, leading him to the sofa, sitting next to him. He now looks like my brother, J. I say "and that's why you look like J". I feel sorry for him but skip to the only idea I have how to use this dream. "Do you want to have sex?" I ask. He is silent. "Do you want to do something else?" He shakes his head and gives me and an empty look.

I wake up. The time is 1:51. Interestingly, I feel well and not tired anymore.

Notes:
- I struggle with fake insomnia. It can manifest as dreams about not being able to sleep (as above) or I can be in a conscious NREM sleep while thinking I am awake. Basically, my ability to tell the difference between conscious NREM and being awake is almost non-existent.
- I can't tell if the pseudoWILD was WILD or not. I obviously dreamed most of the "transition". What I perceived as my bed and my body was a dream bed and a dream body (most probably). I can't tell if the music was a HH (then it would count as a confused WILD, I guess) or if it was a part of the dream (so technically not a WILD). But if I lost my self-awareness, I was out for a minute or two, probably not much more. The whole thing took between 20 and 25 minutes.

[PRE-DREAM]

I did not get a wink of sleep last night. My older brother was watching television, I couldn't calm myself down, and the room was freaking hot as hell. Because of this, I ended up staying up until 12 PM! I did have problems with insomnia beforehand but they never escalated like this before.

[DREAM]

Because of this I ended up not having that many memorable dreams. I vaguely remember hearing some voices but whether that's because my overactive waking mind or not is left to be determined. I don't remember seeing much either, since it was drowned out by my waking thoughts and stuff.




[THOUGHTS]

I really have to fix my insomnia problem if I want to do the CAT method after all. Starting today.

I was having trouble sleeping, and the last time I checked the clock it was past 8 am I and woke up around 9 am, so it wasn't a long sleep.

I was having a normal dream and I realized I was dreaming, I was excited but somehow I was floating over my bed unable to change my position. I almost always have full control over my body when I LD, but this time I had only control over my mind. I ignored that and tried to conjure something behind the door while floating over my bed and failed.

Then suddenly I was in my bed thinking I'm awake but I wasn't. I had very painful sensations.
I felt like a couple of balls are moving inside my skull, they were moving and crawling under my skin, and I was shaking badly.

I also felt hot air coming out of my ears. I can't remember every sensation now, but I was in so much pain and trying to fight it. I tried to move my body and it made things worse. It all felt so real but I think at some point I realized that it wasn't because I tried to snap out of it and I woke up.

It didn't feel like sleep paralysis because that's not how it felt in previous experiences but probably the same person experiences it in many different ways.

I failed to sleep after, and I am still awake with only 3 or 4 scattered hours of sleep in the last 34 hours .

I opened a discussion about it here including a previous recurrent experience.

I got up because I couldn't sleep, and I went out to the balcony. I was several stories up, and the balcony looked out over a grassy lawn, on the far side of which lights twinkled from the windows of other apartment buildings. To my left, I could see more lights from the night skyline of the city.

I was surprised at how dark the sky still was, though full of brilliant stars. Wasn't it almost morning? I remembered that I had gotten up for a while and didn't go back to bed until the sky was starting to lighten. (That part was true.) Shouldn't the sun be rising by now? For some reason I felt strangely tempted to jump off the balcony to see if I could fly, which made me wonder if I might actually be dreaming. But I realized that would be a terrible test, because if I was wrong, well...

I didn't think it could be possible that I was dreaming, because I was sure that ever since I had gone back to bed, I had lain there unable to sleep. How could I be dreaming if I hadn't gone to sleep first? I'd better do a test anyway, just to be sure. I reached out my left hand and tried to invoke a ball of glowing white light in the air above it. Nothing happened. Oh well, I must be awake after all... was my last thought before I woke up. In retrospect, it was a terrible choice of RC, but the only one that occurred to me at the time.

Waking up was confusing at first—hadn't I just been suffering from insomnia? But if I had been dreaming all along (and only now did I notice the profound discrepancies with WL: that I have no such balcony, and moreover live in a completely different kind of building with a completely different kind of view), then I must have been asleep the whole time, only dreaming of insomnia.

All nighter are the worse.

I slept so late that's mot even funny.

I'm in a apparment building, prepping to go to university. I find myself with a kitty plushie in my inner pocket, and all the friend I cross path with comment on it, even thought they couldn't be able to see it. One of my friend ponce on me for a hug, it's a girl I have'nt see since at least 6 years, I'm happy to meet here again. I walk around a little with my friends, I don't recognize the city I'm in; it's full of talls, light stones buildings and large avenues. We reach another appartment building where one of my friend is living. It's made big rooms full of nocks ans crannies, everyone living here make themself a makeshift bedroom with drapes and such. I can see a wall building itself up, like in the sims.
Later, We're interrogated by the police. One of the detectives sport a striking ressemblance with Sasha Roiz, I'm not complaining. They're are asking us questions about a disappearance, but I don't know anything of relevance... And I may be mooning over the nice detective a little. That being say, he is very patient and nice with me despite that.

My cold is getting worse, so my recall is abyssal. I also jumped out of my skin at five in the morning thanks to the minifrige defrosting and dropping a big block of ice, making a noise that sounded like my upstairs neighbour dropping in the middle of the room Going back to sleep after that was interesting to say the least.

First night in my student flat; got woken up by a lot of new sounds and the infamiliarity of the place and bed.

I had a lot of dreams fragments, mostly of putting away my things in the new closet; dreams of things lurking in say closet, and inexpected finds in my bags.
Early this morning, I managed to catch a full cycle of sleep.

I'm in my new flat, and even though the drapes are closed, the light is strong enough to see perfectly. confident that I'm dreaming, I walk out through the closed window.* I ended up outside, in a strange place, a park full of people having fun at the fair. It's nightime here, but there is suspended lights everywhere, making the night bright and the leaves shine. I walk along the dirt path, taking in the fantasmatic view of all thoses exotics plants and stands and breathing in the smell of cotton candy and wet vegetation. I feel strangely nostalgic, and I see families with young children having a blast around me, passing by like I'm not really here. I don't mind it; I'm alone, but not lonely. The dream have this eerie quality, like morning fog; both thick and ephemeral. I want Eli to enjoy the atmosphere too, and I start looking for him. This end up being more difficult that I thought, and I run around, calling his name as the partying people walk around me without aknowleging it.
When I find him he all but fall in my arms, sending both of us tumbling down in the damp grass. There is a sharp contrast between the cold floor and his usual warm self. He is wraps himself around me as much as he can, tall and heavy, his breath warming my neck. I look down on his bare back, running my fingers along his spine, making him shivers when my nails graze the dimple just above his belt. I can feel his back moving with his breathing, slow and drowsy. He looks a little out of it, almost drunk. His weight prevents me from moving, but I like the cuddle, and keep gently stroking his back until I wake up.

*I'm on the second floor but the window is too small for me to simply walk through it; I pretty much phased through the wall. And ended up in a park and not floating above the backyard. Dreams amirite?

Eli was very flushered when I woke up, worken up about his attitude in the dream. It seem that there is such a thing as dream lucidity for tulpa, and he wasn't lucid in this shared dream. I will put more of the specific in my workbook in the tulpa forum.

As I moved in my student flat today, I dreamed of mostly of the place and had a couple of false awakenings, wich is usual for me in that kind of situations; I didn't sleep enough to have long REM period, so I couldn't take advantages of those FA.

*Suppress irresistible want to sing all the song, including chorus*

Last night was insomnia night. Around five in the morning I decided that I could try to WILD, because I have very good decision skill around five in the morning and Eli was sleeping. I thought about a movie I've seen some time ago, Only Lovers Left Alive and how it would be neat to see the house of one of the hero, Adam. I fluffed up my pillow and lay down again, seeing his cluttered doorway in my mind's eye.

In what seem to be a flawless transition, I walk in. The walls are as I remember, dark and covered with artworks. They's stuff litteraly everywhere, pilled up high and precariously, things that would make a antiquarian go mad with envy. The corridor is already small, and all this stuff make it cramped and claustrophobic. I keep going and end up in the living room which is as cluttered and full that the rest. Adam is here, sitting on his red plushy sofa. He look as unkempt as usual, in a long dressing gown open on a black washed-out T-shirt and coton pants. I conjure up my tablet behind my back and crouch in from of him to show it too him, with a app mimicking some musical instruments, including a bass and a piano. He isn't very convinced and brush the touch screen with his fingertips, playing a couple of music notes from the virtual piano and briginf up the virtual bass.
I wake up.

That was a lot of fun. I had a art time keeping my lucidity tho.

Got one hell of a insomniac episode and ended up waiting for sunrise browsing youtube with a very sleepy Eli. He conviced me to try sleeping around 5-6 am and I walked out of bed with a cotton mouth around 10.

I'm with my mom and my little sister in my new mom's car, in the center of my town. It's reasonably sunny and the streets are moderatly busy, but there's roadworks everywhere so we need to find another way to go home. We ended up finding a little, less used street around town, with dingy bush around it and a lot of dirt and dust. The only problem is that someone put an automated gate on it. I get out of the car and open the gate, but my mother take forever and a half to start the car back up, because she's chatting away with my sister. I have to put myself against the gate to it doesn't close again, and it keep hitting my hip trying to close. Luckily it's mostly a metallic mesh over a flimsy frame, so it's more annoying that anything. The car finally start moving, and because the road is very narrow, the wheel go by so close to my feet that I feel the road dipping under the weight of the car.
Later, we recieve the owner of the automated gate, a brown haired, scraggy woman who angrily tell us that we fucked up her gate and that will be very costly to repair. My sister promptly tell her that that is all my fault. because is it.
We're all back in the car, going to a unclosed parking space where a market is taking place. As we're getting inside, my mother turn around completly on her seat and start chattering with my sister again, and despite my more and more fratic call, she keep the car going and we drive right in a shelf full of small blue boxes. We all get out of the care and this is again all my fault. Because of course it is. We start picking things up with the help of a blonde haired woman, the blue boxes are now colorful vegetables, it's a mess. Somewhere during all this I'm lost one of my shoes, a bright red slipper. I see it in the garden catastrophe and take it, but it transform into a brown, dirty, dusty thing that propably was a shoe in a past life. My real slipper is in a basement close by, but the entryway is very narrow and I'm afraid I won't be able to get out of it. I beg my sister to retrieve it for me, and she take a sweet ass time accepting.

Strangely enough, I have a very good relationship with both my mom and my sister. Grated, they do call me all the time to tell me about all their problems... or, for my sister, when she's bored and want some company.

Ritual: Went to bed around 12:50am. Woke naturally at 3:32. Seemed a bit soon to WBTB but my motivation was good and I recalled traces of imagery so decided to go for it. Drank guayusa tea and read Brooks & Vogelsong. Before going to bed did hybrid of SSILD/counting/affirmation while sitting in chair. Technique: counted incrementally while breathing slowly and deeply, thinking the number on each in-breath, and on outbreath rotated between senses (thinking "look," "listen," or "feel") and then adding an affirmation, letting it fall randomly between "always lucid" or "always aware." Counted to fifty in this way, though I was impressed how easily it was to lose track of the number (this is good, it means the mind is losing its focus on waking life) even while sitting upright in a chair. Returned to bed at 4:52am and continued counting up to 70 while lying on my back, then ceased the practice and turned on my left side to sleep. I soon realized that I'd overdone the WBTB a bit and was excessively wakeful, but consoled myself that I should be able to return to sleep eventually given how few hours I had gotten so far, and my chances for WILDing should be improved by this touch of insomnia.

I had made sure to fix a very clear task in mind: I had read about the "fairy tale" challenges on DV and they seemed potentially interesting, but I realized I should make a clear plan. If I did successfully WILD I would find myself in my house, so how would I go about pursuing the task? My idea was this: grab a loaf of bread from the kitchen, exit the front door, turn right and walk up the hill, where in a previous WILD I had passed through a tunnel and found myself in a deep, dark forest. I could leave a trail of bread crumbs and see what happened from there.

WILD #1: It took a long time to go back to sleep. Eventually I felt sensations I interpreted as the onset of SP: tingling and distortion of the physical body, then a sense of weight on my chest so localized and specific that I wondered if the cat had actually jumped on me, but the weight quickly increased beyond that of any cat. I was encouraged because it seemed like this transition was happening very cleanly and consciously, and turned my attention to beginning to "move" the non-physical "body." I was careful not to wiggle my fingers or adjust my limbs lest I break SP, so I concentrated on unnatural movements like full-body rotation. I could begin to feel my body swinging in a horizontal rotation but didn't yet have enough traction to "get up" out of bed. Suddenly I felt a vertical "lift" as though my body had floated up several feet, and the next moment I was standing on my feet next to the bed. "And I'm up!" I thought to myself, pleased.

I noticed right away how dark it was, and despite the clarity of the transition, I did not feel well-integrated into the dream body. I deduced that this was probably a consequence of weak REM-state, given how little sleep I had gotten before the WBTB. I thought I'd better do some stabilization, so I touched some surfaces around me and then rubbed my hands together. This felt lifelike enough, so I became too easily complacent and didn't do anything further to integrate... a mistake, as it turned out. But I was pre-occupied with performing my task and didn't want to get distracted to the point where I never left the antechamber, as so often happens, so I rushed to get started.

I moved swiftly toward the kitchen and picked up the bag of bread from the counter as I passed through. It felt quite full, and I recalled that I had bought a new bag just the other day in waking life. Although the environment was still very muddy and vague, I could easily find my way through the house out of habit, so I headed straight for the front door. As I was crossing the threshold, I noticed that the bag of bread suddenly felt very light, as though there were only a few slices left. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should return to the kitchen, but didn't want to be distracted from my task, so I figured, "That's alright, I can always manifest more."

I walked out into the night, the outdoor environment no more distinct than the indoors had been, but I knew where I was going. I turned right and began to walk uphill, reaching into the bag to start dropping breadcrumbs. To encourage the right environment to appear, I started muttering under my breath: "Entering the world of Hansel & Gretel. Entering the world of Hansel & Gretel." But I only got off two recitations before I abruptly awoke. I realized my error at once: the dreamspace outside the antechamber is always less stable, and in my impatience to get started on the task, I hadn't integrated properly before exiting.

I lay for a long time in the position I woke in. Often I can seamlessly re-enter a WILD if I half-wake and don't move. But this was no half-waking: my mind was fully awoken and I soon realized that holding my position would be of no use, sleep had well and truly gone. I used the bathroom so it wouldn't pre-occupy me later and returned to bed, lying on my other side now to make a fresh start. By now the sun was rising so I got out my sleep mask from the drawer. I hate wearing it, but I could tell the light would be disruptive today. I considered checking the time but was trying not to stimulate wakefulness any further, so deliberately decided not to. It was evidently around sunrise, anyway, which occurred at 6:01am today according to Google. That was well over an hour after I had finished my WBTB and the dream can only have lasted a few minutes, so it must have taken me a very long time to fall asleep beforehand.

WILD #2: I lay on my right side and tried to keep a positive attitude: of course I can do it again! I re-WILD all the time! Not usually from such drastic awakening, admittedly, but I didn't let myself focus on the negatives. I wondered if I should rise and write a report, but reflected that there was little to report apart from the exact wording of the phrases I had thought or spoken, and these I had already scrawled in my notepad. The rest, what little there was, would be easy to remember. So I let go of those worries and focused attention on my breathing, remembering not to "try" to fall asleep but just let it happen. Eventually, it did.

Whereas the previous transition had been so vivid, this time I was surprised to find myself simply standing at the foot of the bed. I hadn't noticed the separation. But at least I remembered where I had gone wrong in the last attempt, and reminded myself: don't rush it. Get traction. Find something to do in the antechamber to better immerse yourself.

I noticed that this time the bedroom was full of books, stacked in messy piles and filling bags all over the floor. I figured that these would provide a good opportunity to more fully engage my senses in the dreamspace. So I selected a few and carried them with me as I moved out of the room. The kitchen floor was also covered with books, so many piles and stacks that was actually hard to pick a path through them. I was picking up volumes more or less at random until I noticed what was clearly an artist's sketchbook, a spiral-bound 9"x12" Strathmore, on top of one pile. "Oh, I should look at that!" I thought, and grabbed it. Finally I made my way to the living room, where I found a small oriental rug on the floor (about 2'x3', black pattern on a white background) and sat down on it to begin to peruse my books.

I chose the sketchbook first, because I was the most curious what I might find inside this one, and dream pictures tend to be easier to perceive and remember afterwards than dream text. The first picture I saw upon opening it was a portrait of what looked like a tribal chieftain, showing the upper half of his body and filling the whole page. He looked about middle-aged, with angular but weather-beaten features. The most distinctive element of the portrait, dominating most of the visual space, was the enormous headdress he was wearing. It wasn't made of feathers or any obvious RL material but seemed composed of abstract patterns with a Mayan styling to them. I took note of the colors. The headdress was all in shades of red, mostly an earthy brick shade. There were constrasting shades of muted green in the distinctive wide straps criss-crossing his body in various places. It didn't occur to me at the time, but the obvious deduction is that these straps were there to secure the enormous headdress.

After looking carefully at the first drawing, I turned the page. The next image I saw was more cartoon-like. The page was divided into four rectangular panels, each one the width of the page, and stacked vertically. There was a caption, though I don't remember if it was above or below the panels: "Doyle Oss Toss." How clever, I thought... until I realized that it didn't rhyme as well as I had thought at first, because I was aware from the start that "Oss" meant "Owl" but soon realized that the RL word had been distorted unrecognizably to fit the rhyme. My dream texts often demonstrate this tendency to favor rhyme and alliteration over comprehensible meaning.

The four panels showed the Doyle Owl being punted by a large shaggy grey wolf. The Owl was on the left, the wolf on the right, and the setting suggested the outdoors but was very plain, with little in the background to distract the eye. The sky behind them was dark. The first panel showed the Owl already in mid-air, with the wolf's head lowered, evidently having just head-butted it. The second panel showed the Owl about halfway down, in the act of falling, the wolf's head still lowered. The third panel showed the Owl having come to rest again on the ground, the wolf's position unchanged. The last panel showed the Owl lying on the ground where it had fallen, and now the wolf had lowered its haunches into a crouch and lifted its head toward the sky, howling in what I interpreted as triumph.

I think I might have spied one more drawing but I don't remember it, because around this time I woke up. In a false awakening. Which I didn't recognize. Responsibly, I immediately began to record the dream on my notepad, first sketching out the four-panel cartoon I have just described. After completing that, I started blocking out the tribal chieftain, and made some notes about the colors. I think I wrote about the green straps first, and when I started trying to describe the particular shades of red in the headdress, the dream began to evolve, and I thought I remembered dreaming that I was a sultan who had a vizier who wore a turban constructed of red cloth in various textures and shades, including a dark red kerchief. It's possible that this image relates to a drawing from the original sketchbook that I've forgotten, because as I was jotting down notes about color of his headgear a new visual appeared, where I could see the vizier from above and behind, with a clear vantage on the dark red kerchief, and I was surprised because I knew that I had not previously seen him from that perspective.

Before the FA could evolve any more, I woke up for real and recognized that I had just been writing my dream report in another dream, and I'd better get up and do it properly. In this case I didn't mind the delay because writing it down in the FA had helped cement the details in memory (this is not always the case). So I started jotting down my notes on the notepad next to my bed... only to realize soon after I'd started that even though I was more or less awake now, I still wasn't actually doing it, I was still just experiencing a kind of half-dreamed enactment of writing, and I should stop tricking myself and physically get out of bed so I could be sure I was doing it properly. So I got up and hastily sketched out the four-panel again—noticing with amusement how much crappier it looked in RL than in the more elegantly sketched version from my initial FA. I noted the time of rising as 6:56am, and recorded the rest of the dream on my laptop.

Woke after five hours vaguely remembering a dream about being on a space ship. Some kids were catching a ride by hanging on to our landing gear as we went between stations, and I wondered how they didn't freeze and suffocate in the airless void.

I wasn't planning on doing any real practice since I didn't sleep much last night after my excellent LD got me out of bed early and writing furiously, but since I'd woken up from REM I thought I'd run through some SSILD cycles just for fun... and this provoked a sleeplessness that eventually got me out of bed an hour and a half later without having fallen back asleep at all. So no dreams, but I did manage to record fragments of the hypnagogic phrases that manifested at certain points:

"...the beautiful eye, and the faithful smiling hand..."

"...the stress of a healthy city farm too..."

"...semantic, and by the way kill the emperors..."

Mostly these were just words running through my head without any corresponding imagery, but at one point I had a hypnogogic image like I was looking at a forum post (unsurprising given that I waded through almost the whole SSILD thread yesterday, a tedious enterprise at 36 pages). So this one I "read" visually rather than thought directly. My recall of first few words flickered out almost immediately, but the sentence concluded "...and the king's building in apotheosis."

Date: 22 June

As the title indicates this was not a pleasant night. All possible negative factors in one place (neighbors party, early wake, heat).

Early frag: I got like 3 hrs of sleep, nice rebound from previous day and vivid dreams. It was the story of Mancon. [I think this has Dreamer's influence again]. Another DV member was involved a bit later on. In a later dream there was a brief part that included Sensei, but not enough of recall to claim a point for decent incubation.

Mega insomnia and headache follows. Usually, I don't worry that much because I know this will most likely result in an ld, but this time sleep seemed as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

A minor ld in between the sleep attempts: Spent it flying in a new prayer style. Hands held together as if in prayer, I use them to set the direction. Some memory about imaging being pulled by a rope in the direction where I want to fly. It's kind of a cool style, close to the ground.

There is another female DC in front of me flying the same style she is coming in my direction and we are about to crash, I let her phase through me - she doesn't hit me but seems to have passed to the side. I concentrate on the flying again and notice that I'm moving extremely slow, I try to speed up thinking about super speed but the movement gets even slower. Soon after I wake.

I realize that I had totally forgotten about looking for Sensei. Continue turning and tossing without any hope of sleep, let alone dreams.

Some rather deep sleep /dreams follow after I finally have the chance to fall asleep.

Random frag: I have a nightmare involving my parents. It's absolute hell and my body jolts me out of it, in the last moments I know it's a dream but who would want to stay there?

Ld fragment: I'm in a room with a female DC. This totally qualifies for the basic totm.

Ld fragment: This was a pretty long ld block, but I'd say it was in a very deep sleep. While I managed to remain lucid for quite a while, I didn't have any recall about tasks or that I was supposed to do anything at all. I spent it with plan B - try to cover as much as possible for as long as possible.

I reflect back on the ld with the woman in the room and make a mental note about it and count lds. (With the gaps in memory this is now rather irrelevant) Memory gap.

I recall later on being on the street at night and lucid again. There's this man playing basketball and I say a few things to him. I continue walking around rather aimlessly and remember it being extremely physical and exhausting at some point as I cover quite a dream distance.

The only action that I somewhat more decently remember is that there were a few snowmen painted somewhere and I got super excited about them and decided to summon more. I filled the entire street square with small and large snowmen, very cool and crazy!

The dream went on with diminishing level of awareness. Didn't wake up straight away and had a few non-lds afterwards, so this messed memory even more.

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 2/2

I thoroughly review in head the previous dreams and get more insomnia

Vaguely recall these two as I fell asleep afterwards.

DILD: I am in this yard like it was in the past, much wider, etc. Know I am dreaming and think of music. It think there was happiness, confidence and possibly thoughts about something before this part.

I start to sing or expect to hear a song. My subcon picks up a dream remix of "heal the world" by M. Jackson. I concentrate on making it sound like sung by a choir and hear the music loudly coming from everywhere and into me. Notice a few instruments too, really nice. I keep singing with the music but at some point I don't know the lyrics so that makes it hard for the music to continue. In addition, the more I become one with the music coming all around me, the more I lose sight of the yard and the dream and become blind. The dream soon fades.

I may have a micro awakening or so, no review, continue sleepying.

DILD:Don't remember the beginning of the dream. I am in this room, talking to bf and open and close a few doors, where I think about not locking them as it is a dream.

Bf is going somewhere but before I can say anything else, he vanishes. There's a stick that I decide to leave outside, should I need it for defense? I also notice a strange gurgling sound coming from a pipe, find it interesting. I go back to the same room, there were lots of bed there before but now it's a single connected bed the size of four beds is covering most of the room.

I remember I wanted to play with my ipad, so I try to summon it by drawing its shape with my fingers. It's funny because I do this instinctively rather than consciously. While there's a rectangular shape in progress, it isn't working to produce an ipad and on the bed just below my hands is my ipad so I grab it and try to stretch the frame. It happens, just as if I was dragging the image of a frame on a PC. I expand the screen to a TV size, then have to apply a bit more stretching as it does not stay in the desired shape for long. It gets small again. I think about trying to control the image.

Then something happens outside and now there are two scary zombi-like DCs and they are about to enter the place. I try to close the door although know they will get in anyways. I decide to face them and affect them. Actually, I feel quite confident and no matter how ugly they are (especially one with something coming out of his mouth), I just feel positivity and so spread it to them. They become quite happy and we just hang in there like drunk buddies. I stare in the eyes of one of them, he feels like a phantom rather than real person and is not looking at me with any purpose/driving force. The dream soon fades.

I black out before being able to journal and have a few other dream fragments.