non-lucid

Morning of September 20, 1997. Saturday.



In one dream, there is a science fiction movie called “1464”. There is a tribe of children on another Earth-like planet who can communicate with other creatures such as water bugs, frogs, and birds. (I am not sure of the significance of the number. It may be some sort of play on my last street address number in America.)

In seemingly a different dream, I am in the future where there are strange giant creatures around in the area I travel to. It is not nightmarish; just unusual.

In another dream, I take my mother to the city to do some shopping. I also get two “Reader’s Digest” magazines in the mail. Both issues have an incorrect variation of the address on the label (which used to happen a lot in real life with a lot of generic commercial mail, including junk mail). In my dream, I am wondering how such a thing could happen. (The most amusing time was when I received a catalog that read “I think” in the address after the street number and name - as if “I think” was a type of, or used in place of, “Street”.)

Morning of August 26, 1997. Tuesday.



I dreamt of a skeleton that was buried in Cubitis (where I have not lived since 1978). The identity of the skeleton remains unknown. A strong wind blows dirt from it as I watch. Eventually, instead of a skeleton, it turns out to be edges of many interesting magazines and books. (Human remains becoming something else over time, or having been something else even when there does seem to be a real change, has been a sparsely recurring dream event.)

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Because skeletons, ghosts, and similar concepts relate to unfocused conscious awareness within a dream when books define a clearer conscious focus (though I do not become lucid), such a dream symbolizes increasing neural activity towards waking. Wind represents the passage of time.

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Morning of May 24, 1997. Saturday.

I am playing some sort of computer game that is like Pac-Man for the most part, but also has text adventure elements that appear on the screen. There are questions at different points depending on the area of the maze Pac-Man goes to. There also seem to be areas where passwords are required, of which I am not sure of the exact nature of but may be keywords obtained from going through the maze in a certain way.

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Morning of May 21, 1997. Wednesday.

There is an unknown music store I go into that does not sell cassette tapes anymore. Cassettes seem to be obsolete, perhaps even for recording. They seem so much out of use that it is possible I am in a futuristic setting.

At one point, I go over an underground bridge that is a part of the music store. The owner is an unfamiliar black male. There are a lot of different kinds of music.

One unknown male has found his first CD, it seems. It is one that he had apparently not found or seen anywhere else. Certain other people seem to think the CDs are also to become obsolete. I wander around but do not purchase anything.

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Morning of May 16, 1997. Friday.



My brother Jim (half-brother on my mother’s side) is visiting. He approaches me and starts talking about “wakes” (an obvious dream sign but I do not become viably or actively lucid, only the usual non-lucid dream control by way of instinctual dreaming). This seems to be focused on sexuality as having something to do with boats. Oddly though, he is talking about a particular type of water (which of course makes no sense other than a dream sign relevant to my typical water induction into the dream state, as water represents sleep and being in the dream state).

At one point, there is a strange skeleton of a bird that does not look quite right (possibly with “alien” implications).

At another point, Jim is in a room with other people and acting a bit strange, kicking his leg out.
At one point, there is a strange skeleton of a bird that does not look quite right (possibly with “alien” implications).

At another point, Jim is in a room with other people and acting a bit strange, kicking his leg out.

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As with many of my dreams since earliest memory, this entire dream is a real-time metaphor for sleeping, dreaming, and waking, though in this case, with an additional dream sign related to sexuality. The reference to sexuality is present because it is also a bed reference, which is a first-level dream state indicator (and a subliminal awareness that one has fallen asleep).

The bird skeleton is a typical “return flight” precursor which represents the waking stage common to the majority of my dreams as such (about twenty percent of the tens of thousands of dreams I have studied, decoded, and ultimately resolved - which brings amazing clarity of mind the more it is done). It first occurred about fifty years ago with the same overall dream theme, mainly influenced by a book on Birds that prompted me to maintain consciously created threads as such when entering the dream state. The “alien” association sometimes occurs as a difference between the transient and fictional dream self identity and the real conscious self identity (non-lucid dreams only as this factor does not usually occur in lucid dreams unless I will it to).

Even the last scene is a dream sign. When my brother Jim fell asleep on the armchair in real life, he would kick his leg out and sometimes move it a bit and people would joke that he was driving a car and stepping on the brakes. However, even seeing this scene in a dream did not alert me to the fact I was dreaming even when Jim had used the word “wakes” a few times earlier in my dream.

Additionally, even the collective consciousness of humanity understands that water symbolizes sleep. For example, the word “wakes” is a reference to a disturbance on the surface of the water caused by a boat or swimming animal.

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Morning of March 17, 1997. Monday.



This was a vivid dream of getting packages in the mail as well as being aware there are many older unopened ones. One is filled with jellylike candy.

The other packages are related to some sort of subscription in eventually building robotic animals. There are many parts of different birds that have to be built into “real” birds but which remain primarily statue-like. The heads do have veins and gore hanging from the necks but when attached in the kit, they make birdlike sounds. At one point in the background, our son seems to be in a cage for his protection from the larger mechanical or electronic parts in the room, though this does not feature more clearly.

I soon notice a large bear head that also has veins and flesh hanging from the neck. It also has a couple white plastic tubes and metallic cables connected to it. The head is somehow “alive” and “breathing” with a clicking sound. Some tubes come out of the side of the head as well.

There are also two parts of the top part of a bear’s body; front and back “shells” with possibly real bear skin and fur and there are also attachable bear “arms” (front legs) and paws. I tell my wife to move away as I am ready to build the “bear droid”, as I do not feel fully safe with the kit, which was apparently a free year’s subscription from a cheap multilevel-marketing company which is also likely involved in scams. The front and back skins zip together at the sides when the sections are attached. The bear head actually complains about how long it is taking me to complete his form. I let it believe what it wants to, due to not feeling safe in contradicting anything it claims about the scenario.

I ask the bear head if it needs food but it says no; it apparently does not need organic food to function (though it may need fuel or batteries at one point - I am not sure and do not ask). I attach the head to the upper torso and eventually realize that there are no bottom section parts in the house - and the electronic or mechanical torso is not complete yet (apparently relative to missing parts of the longer subscription that have not yet arrived). They may not even send the rest of the parts due to postal rates rising or the subscription running out. When mostly complete on the top, it tries to lick or “kiss” me at one point but I move away. I am not sure if it is just being playful, but I am somewhat aggravated and am wondering about its “programmable” nature and why there would be built-in annoying subroutines as such. My wife seems somewhat worried about the whole idea of a mechanical bear “droid” or even a realistic though mostly stationary model being in the house. Thus far, it cannot walk around (at least very well) at any rate and seems slightly top-heavy relative to its incompleteness.

At one point, there is a knife in its paw which I take away without any difficulty and from there, I cut the head vertically in half, having had enough doubt about the whole works - and it then complains that I do not like it - almost as if it is personal. The “bird droids” make a fuss as I cut the rest of it up into pieces as if there is some sort of link (though I do not intend to destroy or even damage the birds). I awake with the sound of louder birds in real life.

Morning of January 21, 1997. Tuesday.



My dream’s setting is a new and unique composite of La Crosse and Cubitis (which are over 1,500 miles apart in reality).

My dream’s induction is the typical nonthreatening flood, a dream feature that has occurred in at least one dream virtually every night since earliest memory, so it is obviously an autosymbolic induction factor that is usually unrelated to waking life, especially as water autosymbolism correlates with the dynamics of sleep and the sleep cycle.

Curiously, our front yard does not seem flooded at one point but our carport does (as a distortion of a Cubitis feature). I am fishing in it (which of course is a ridiculous concept, as the front yard and carport would otherwise be at the same level in real life, but water replacing ground or floor at the same level, yet implying depth, is a common dream distortion, another factor of water as autosymbolism for the sleeping and dreaming process by the transformation of ground into the essence of fluid).

At one point, it seems I have caught a large striped bass, which is a kind of silver fish I used to catch in America (often using orange florescent fishing spoons as a lure).

The “fish” gets heavier over time (as is often the case in my fishing dreams when I hook something). However, it eventually turns out to be a large white cat, though of which does not appear to be injured from my “catching” it with my fishing equipment. It comes near me and purrs and my focus shifts as I move more toward waking.

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Fishing is a type of autosymbolic preconscious mediation when my dream self seeks to find the conscious self identity to initiate the waking process. In this case, it is paired with another form of preconscious mediation, which is the carport - in representing the liminal space buffer as a factor of the waking process. A cat has often served as a preconscious avatar (and “witness” to the dream state), though in this case becomes the emergent consciousness factor.

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Morning of January 5, 1997. Sunday.

Quite a few men want to fight. It is near a flight of stairs (waking precursor feature). The apartment building we are living in seems unfamiliar (though that does not trigger any sort of focus or uncertainty). I seem to have special powers including an ability to transform into having a monstrous appearance.

The men are drunk and I pound them and toss them down the stairs into an actual pile. More men appear and I am able to throw them about. It seems to be from at least the second floor at one point.

Oddly, they seem to transform into broken beer bottles at one point. Other beer bottles appear near the top of the stairs, which I also toss down the stairs. After a time, there seems little difference in the essence between the broken beer bottles and what used to be men. (I am not a drinker in real life and it is also quite rare for me to dream about alcoholic beverages in any way.)

Morning of January 1, 1997. Wednesday.



House Full of Spiderwebs

I am in the Loomis Street house, possibly implied to still be living here. My sister Marilyn (half-sister on my mother’s side) is present at times. There are spiderwebs everywhere. (I have dreamt a number of versions of this situation throughout my life. In this dream there is less of a focus on spiders than is usually the case. There is minor frustration at difficulty in moving from one room to another. My dream’s essence is not threatening or nightmarish in any way.)

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Fish Recycling?

A recycling symbol is rendered as a triangular image of trout or salmon. Its meaning is not fully clear.

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Miniature staircase of gold coins

I am arranging gold coins while sitting at a table in an unknown location. They form an implied miniature staircase. (Both gold coins and going up a staircase have occurred as dream state exit markers in previous dreams back to early childhood. A staircase typically symbolizes the inevitable return to consciousness as well as the implied exit point of the dream state. It is used the same way in guided meditation and hypnosis.)

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Morning of December 21, 1996. Saturday.



This was a long dream but with not many clear events. The location is ambiguous and somewhat of a fifty-fifty rendered composite of our Gellibrand Street apartment (in Clayfield - Australia) and my sister’s house on Loomis Street in the USA.

A fire starts in the house across the street, which seems to be some sort of “poetic justice” in-dream and not a personal concern. Eventually, it is discovered that firefighters are using our water supply to put out the fire. I notice this when I close the front windows and two fire hoses are then blocked. In a short time, I am ordered to reopen them by a few authorities that come onto our porch.

Instead, I turn off a cassette player that is playing a cassette tape of my personal affirmations that my brother Jim is listening to at a loud volume and otherwise ignore their request.

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Morning of September 26, 1996. Thursday.



My dream was very vivid and colored my mood for my day in a very positive way.

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DeForest Kelley, as the actor, not his “Star Trek” character (though which does have autosymbolic implications in the final scene) has a (fictional) daughter probably in her late teens. She is apparently in some sort of televised variety show but gets hurt in a hang glider crash (while undressed) shortly after the show starts. Three Caucasian doctors (young males) come to her aid but they act strangely and rudely to everyone. It seems she may have died in the crash (though this is uncertain).

DeForest Kelley soon appears and talks to me. I find myself in Native American traditional dress. I sing loudly, though harmoniously, and shake rattles with others, three males and one very old female. I direct a strong effort and focus on my chanting. The girl who had eventually been thought to be dead is somehow healed.

I attain somewhat of a faux lucidity here; that is, a very strong feeling of power and control (as well as unity) though I remain non-lucid. (There is no RAS modulation in the final scene, even with the preconscious personified.)

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Morning of July 27, 1996. Saturday.



In my dream, I own some sort of large unusual aquarium (similar to the one my brother had in real life in La Crosse at one time). My mother and oldest sister Marilyn are present in addition to my wife Zsuzsanna. After a time, an unexplainable event occurs. There is some sort of miniature “storm” or whirlpool-like event in the aquarium that is apparently being caused by some sort of unknown event occurring elsewhere (and from where, is unknown).

There is one fish in the aquarium (I am uncertain of the species) and this fish swims at an angle as far away from the turbulent water as possible. The fish remains uninjured and apparently safe thus far.

After time passes, though, the aquarium falls apart and all the water flows out (waking point). There are no longer any fish, but there are now two multicolored birds that seem to be male and female. They are either lorikeets or resplendent quetzals (or a composite of both). (My present guess in March 2015 is that they were quetzals, or composite of quetzal and hummingbird, as this is a recurring dream element for me).

The more dreams I review over a lifetime, the more the decoding comes out. Assuming these two birds were quetzals (though the entry image is of lorikeets), they would simply represent my wife and I as “ascended” on at least one in-dream level (looking back on my dream from “Soul’s Union of the Quetzal and the Silver Sebright Bantam” from March 30, 1986, where I have enhanced the imagery from that entry to be nearly identical to my dream).

That March 30th Easter dream always seemed like a metaphorical ascension type, and if such is the case, this dream probably relates the solitary fish as an isolated aspect of myself deliberately avoiding the union (or Merkaba) for whatever reason (likely as the fish is on its own), and that this July 27th dream touches this period to where we now have the birds to represent us at one level. It seems fairly straightforward and obvious at this point (August 9, 2015).

Afternoon of April 4, 1996. Thursday.



This turned out to be an odd combination of the otherwise very common “return flight” type, subtype “failed flight”, for the waking transition (though both bird and airplane symbols are integrated in this one). It also uses the bomb metaphor as the waking trigger (which is sometimes linked to a hypnopompic event though not in this case). Bombs sometimes are triggered by or linked to a real noise in the environment (even a barely audible sound depending on the state of consciousness at the time), though that is not always the case.

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I am watching Baby Huey (the cartoon ducking) in an unusual movie (which I assume is fictional). Airplanes are bombing the area but only to get to him for whatever reason. (It seems he may be considered a threat by the military.) Sometimes I actually seem to be present but there is no direct threat to me.

Baby Huey, in the last part of the last segment, hardly notices an atomic bomb (a common dream cessation symbol) that is dropped in the area. It seems a bit strange that everyone else in one region is apparently wiped out yet this annoying cartoon duckling remains, randomly walking around, mostly oblivious to the chaos around him.

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There are a couple layers here that add to the overall meaning. Huey is technically a flight symbol (though cannot actually fly, so represents the band of liminal space closest to full consciousness - additionally as such since him being a cartoon represents the dissolving dream state or its instability) though is also a play on the UH-1 Huey Helicopter, which is where the notion of war and bombs comes from. This is an odd middle-ground of different flight symbol types in conflict, as if I am subliminally trying to decide whether to keep sleeping or to wake up. The baby association may also be partially influenced by our son. Huey is yellow so may also relate to dawning consciousness (as the sunrise symbol) during the transition.

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Morning of February 6, 1996. Tuesday.

I am riding in a car in an unknown location with my brother-in-law Bob as the driver. At one point, we stop near the ocean for some reason (even though he lived in Wisconsin in reality). A police officer soon approaches us and asks Bob some routine questions though does not regard me at all.

In a short time, Bob is being frisked by the police officer. Another official (though not dressed as a policeman) then seems to be there from out of nowhere. There does not seem to be any reason for their rude behavior or suspicion. I wake in a short time.

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This dream was relevant to water induction (the ocean, which represents sleep) but was soon disturbed by the waking precursor in which the (often solely biological) purpose is to cause an emotional shift to pull me out of the dream state. I had not seen Bob in real life since February 9th of 1994. So, loosely, there is possibly a date-related marker, assuming it is not a “what if” marker of a sort.

Morning of December 31, 1995. Sunday.



My dream’s plot relates to an old widow (who is seen as stingy and nasty overall, and who had a son whom supposedly vanished) who rents a large house to about four different families as well as a couple single men, all who are apparently mostly without many resources or money. Two of the families seem to share one larger room. The house is old and has roach infestation and very old variegated carpeting (reds, blues, greens); in some locations, only older very narrow strips nailed to the floor, not much wider than the nails. At one point, the old lady speaks of having new carpeting put in. I seem to go in and out of my dream as if I am a secondary character at times.

One male from one family gives me a calendar (I assume for 1996) but as we seemingly share the same large room at this point I tell him to just put it on the wall so that we all can benefit from it. During this time, I take a couple pictures from the wall to make room. I had put many pictures up on the worn wall to make it look better as others seemed interested.

There is one part where a housing inspector complains (relative to safety concerns) that there are hidden doors in the house and asks where they all are. One door is under an old section of carpet. The door is lifted and leads to a collection of old cards and letters from the 1940s (1943 is noted a few times). This causes the old woman to cry as she apparently rediscovers and relives “lost” memories. Another door is discovered and examined. A monster-like face scares one person away. Eventually, a strange green hand emerges and scares more people.

At one point, a boy explores a lower part of the house that is usually hidden. Somehow, he accidentally causes a fire around barrels filled with oil or possibly gasoline. The fire is put out by the flapping of very large wings. The wings are of a creature that frightens the boy even though he poses no threat and is possibly just lonely and looking for others like himself.

It is revealed that the old woman had a son that had not actually vanished but transformed into a “monster” that is basically a “butterfly-man”. She had kept him in the old house all that time in secret rooms. At one point, he seems to fly off towards the setting sun in a scene with mostly orange hues. However, this turns out to be an illusion as he cannot leave the house (yet).

There is a part where there is a costume party. A boy seems to see his sister (in a dog costume) vanish before his eyes but she later reappears without donning a costume, saying she had not worn the dog costume that she originally planned to. Thus, the prior scene turned out to be a trick played upon him by a friend. Of course, the butterfly-man can go to a costume party without being noticed that directly.

There is another part where a unfamiliar man (yet supposedly a known criminal) is writing spontaneously (possessed?) in a language he does not know. It resembles Lao script (which in itself makes me think of butterfly-like patterns) and there happens to be a few who can read it as he writes. It relates to some sort of “monster” or “spirit” being reborn into the world in vengeance.

There are then a lot of ambiguous scenarios relating to crimes including the man who was writing as well as the “butterfly-man-monster” who somehow actually did eventually leave the house. Someone else somehow makes him become fully human, but then he becomes a giant and destroys highways and bridges. There is even a chase scene involving boats. One boat at one point actually looks more like a pair of platforms to supposedly be a swimming aid of a sort (to develop “faster swimming”).

Even when the criminals are killed, they are still somehow able to pursue certain people.

I start to wake up from this long, convoluted dream before the full “story” is “transcribed”, supposedly to designate a purpose of some sort but mostly incoherent in afterthought. Most dreams are not really linear or story-like (in a cohesive sense) after all and should not be treated as such (depending on the context).