non-lucid

I woke up and opened my eyes. I couldn't see because it's pitch black. but i felt that there was a person in bed next to me. They were in front of me, our faces inches apart. I have no idea who the person is but I feel comfortable. I don't feel like they are going to hurt me. And I feel like they love me. I close my eyes again and the person moves closer to me and puts their arms around me. I take a deep breath and go back to sleep.

Mom keeps making trips outside. It's well after midnight and every time she goes outside I get nervous. She grabs something that looks like a plate and heads out the door again. I follow her and while she walks towards the gate, i yell for her to come back and stop going outside because it's dangerous. She wont listen and while shes at the gate, I notice a black truck is parked in front. and a dark figure walks towards the gate. They say something to my mom. I cant hear but i know they are trying to get in. Mom says no to the figure and so I yell for her to come back and to hurry. She runs to me and we hurry inside. I close the door and lock it.

I'm standing in grandma's dining room next to Hyuk. He's holding one of my hands and with his free hand he's holding out a piece of paper for me to see. From what I can tell it's a kind of permission slip that i need to sign for some reason. I reach out and grab it from him. Hyuk then leads me by the hand to Hongbin, Leo, Ravi and Ken, who are all standing in the room as well. One by one I spend a good minute holding their hands. Hyuk says that I have to bond and it's important. I don't question him and hold each members hand happily. Then Hyuk pulls me by the hand towards a sliding glass door that leads to a porch. Sitting outside is Hakyeon. Hakyeon looks up at us and smiles. He pats the spot next to him and so I sit down. Hyuk stays standing, holding onto my right hand. Hakyeon grabs my left hand and our fingers interlock. I feel really happy to be holding their hands the most.

Dream 1

I was drawing a picture for an old friend and funnily who I thought was Dolphin from dream views. I was told not to use the red pen though. The light blue one was apparently better since it represented Dawn.


Dream 2

Walking down the stairs of my old home I prepared myself emotionally to get ready to leave the house since I was moving. But hearing footsteps behind me I became distracted. "That must be my cousin"I thought. Hurrying down the steps I made it to the hall and looked behind me to see a little boy with a orange and white sweater. He wore glasses and passed me by quickly. "Must be a new friend of my brother"I thought.

But when I went into the room and saw him playing I became suspicious. "Could you get me some water with ice"he asked me."sure"I replied than went upstairs to get the water. I opened the fridge, took the ice out, put it in the glass than poured the water. When I got down stairs I gave the boy his water."Thanks"he said."no problem"I replied. However, when I stepped outside the room I saw the boy again.

"wait a minute...How can he be in two places,no,three places at a time!?"I thought,noticing another at the corner of my eye."I must be dreaming and you, your trying to replace my brother with your presence.Leave now!"I said out loud to the one I gave the water glass.He said no and attempted to swallow me whole. But I pushed him hard near the backyard exit door."This is my dream so you must leave"I thought than wacked him in the head with my hand. He was hard as a rock though and didn't budge."Fine...I guess I'll have to do it with heart than". I opened the door than began singing a song that would change his aggressiveness towards me.He became very interested by my singing and the subtle melody that appeared. The sky got a bit darker too but I pushed the darkness back with my mind. Before I knew it I had appeared in a futuristic facility where I came across my mom.

"Could we be sharing a dream"I thought. When I saw a beast that looked partly woman and snake/green beetle, chasing her I jumped in front of it, stopped it than poofed it out of existence. Impressed with my dream control what seemed like a army of beast mixed humans looked to me. Not wanting to keep them from doing their thing, fighting the war outside, I hurried down a narrow hall but than looked back."It might be fun to help them..".Walking closer to a beast guy I said "I don't know where to start". He than pointed to a dimension door near a check out counter where a slim woman was waiting for people to sign up.

"Uhh... Did my mom come through here?"I asked."Yeah,but she said it wasn't for her. Sign here". I looked to the blue paper and proceeded to sign, till I got to the birthday date and other info lines."I came here to look for my mom. I don't know if I'm willing to fight anymore. No matter how fun it could be". Unsure I scribbled my name but than tried to finish. I was taking a long time though and woke up.

2017, 09-26

Game of Dreams – The Mystery Gunslinger

I am outside at night in a place I don’t recognize. The moon is covering the area in a silvery light. I look around and I see wide spaced trees and grass and a few rocks, but nothing particularly interesting. There is a town not far away that looks like something out of an RPG. I wonder where I am and what I am here to do. Then I see movement, someone is approaching the town. A lot of people are trying to stealthily approach the town, though not trying too hard because the moonlight gives them away. The people approaching are a bunch of armed warriors and I know they are there to cause death and destruction. They are all riding horses, but not moving very quickly. I morph my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and move towards the approaching warriors.

When I get close enough for the warriors to see me one of them comes forward, probably their leader. He asks what a lone little girl is doing out here by herself? I say I am here to make sure he and his friends don’t cause any trouble. He asks what if they do? There’s nothing a little girl like me can do to stop them. Since they haven’t seen my Alex Mercer blade yet I hold it out to make sure they do. The man who has been talking to me does a double take and then says I’m not a little girl after all, I’m a little freak… a little abomination… and I will be the first one to die tonight. I ready my blade and tell the man that anyone among them who dares should go ahead and bring it, they’ll soon regret it.

The man who has been speaking to me says he can take care of this alone. He gets off his horse and walks over towards me with his sword ready. He makes a couple attempts to strike me and I block both. He attacks more seriously, but I block those attacks as well. Some of the other thugs are starting to mock him now. He pauses and glares at me, so I say it’s my turn now. I attack him with my blade arm and he blocks with his sword, but this time my blade arm cuts right through it. The man is stunned long enough for my blade to remove his head. The others stare as the man’s body collapses. One of them says I am a monster and must die! They close in around me, one of them says no one does that to a Lannister and gets away with it. So they are Lannisters… that means I am in a Game of Thrones dream.

I really don’t want to hurt any horses here, so I start by sending a telepathic message to each of the horses to buck off their riders. The horses respond and many of the riders fall of because they were unprepared, the rest end up getting off because their horses are impossible to handle or direct. The horses all take off. I say now that the innocents are out of the way I can take care of all those pathetic cowards who were trying to attack a civilian town. Even after what they saw happen to the first man the others are figuring I haven’t got a chance against all of them. I start proving them wrong. I cut down the first couple that come carelessly at me and the others stay back a bit longer, maybe trying to formulate a plan. I don’t think they’re capable of too much of a plan and I attack, cutting another one down.

As this is going on I hear a voice calling, “Save some for me!” That makes me and all of the thugs look over to see a man approaching. One of them asks who the fuck he is, but I know. It’s MoSh! I wonder what he is doing in a Game of Thrones dream, but he doesn’t pause. He pulls out a pair of guns and starts shooting. His shots are perfectly aimed, taking down one of the thugs with each shot targeted directly between their eyes. It seems my arm blade is no longer the most impressive thing here to them, now they are talking about the man who wields thunder in his hands and passes out death with it. One of the enemies near me mutters, “What is he? A wizard?” I say no, he’s a gunslinger, before relieving him of his head. Some of the thugs are running into the town and MoSh follows them. A man is trying to use a crying woman as a shield and I hear MoSh tell him he has forgotten the face of his father before blasting the confused look off of his face, leaving the woman untouched.

I get back to work, as there are far more enemies still around. I cut more of them down as they seem more disorganized than ever, not sure where to go or what to attack. As I am fighting I hear numerous more gunshots sound out and I know MoSh is taking out more enemies since there are no guns here. After a while MoSh and I are standing alone amidst the bodies of fallen enemies, all that remained alive have fled. MoSh comes over to me and holsters his guns, which are clearly genuine gunslinger weapons from Roland Deschain’s world, very fine and powerful weapons. MoSh looks around and then at me. He asks where Roland is. I can’t help but chuckle as I tell him Roland is in a different dream… this is the Game of Thrones world! Everything fades and I wake up.

Morning of September 26, 2017. Tuesday.



Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 1

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My wife Zsuzsanna and our children (mostly as we appear now in reality) are living in a house that is similar to our present home (and implied to be our present home), though it has a fictional second storey.

Over time, I become aware that the sun is too hot. I mostly become aware of this upon going to the second floor with Zsuzsanna, which is mostly featureless and resembles the second floor of the Loomis Street house when the apartment was empty, as there is a singular window on one side of the large room and a ceiling sloped on both sides. (I have not been in this house in real life since 1994.) I feel intense heat and so I realize that we need to go back downstairs. I assume that the world is ending, but I do not feel very emotional about it. I tell our youngest son that the world will be burned up soon. Still, I want all of our family together for “the end”.

In the last segment of my dream, we all go into our oldest son’s room. Zsuzsanna and most of our children are present in the room. Our oldest son is seemingly not present at this time and I become concerned about his well-being. Eventually, Zsuzsanna and our youngest son slide out a cardboard storage box from under our oldest son’s bed (in the same location as it is in reality). (The large cardboard box has similar colors and sparse imagery as that otherwise found on a pizza box.) Our oldest son is sleeping in it. I am relieved, though I still have concern about his health and hope he will wake soon.

---

Friday, 30 March 2018: What I presently understand about this dream, based on the following real-life event: From exactly one week after this dream, in real life, our oldest son had to spend four days in the hospital from severe food poisoning where I then held the same mood that my dream self had.

Despite The Sleeper factor (as well as the rendering of the bed) otherwise being a common dream state indicator since early childhood, signifying the subliminal recognition of being asleep, it was specifically linked to very detailed prescience in this case. Our oldest son being in a cardboard storage box under his bed seems to be a subliminal association with both a pizza box and a coffin, and as such, could have been a very specific warning had I paid more attention.

Additionally, on November 7, our oldest son’s room is where my family gathered for protection from the storm, though this proved to be futile, as the roof had been torn off and rain poured through the ceiling, though of course it was not the literal end of the world.

Dreams in which there is “something wrong with the sun” have been very common since early childhood. The usual cause of this is based on the conscious self identity not being viable within the dream state, as the sun symbolizes the conscious self identity in the context of clarity of awareness and with viable thinking skills (which do not otherwise exist in the dream state). Some people might catch the play on “something wrong with the sun” regarding our son, as he did have a fever in his severe illness. This specific association could be coincidence, but since the validated-as-premonitory thread “something wrong with my son” could very well be the autosymbolic trigger in this case, it might not be coincidental.

It may also be relevant that the Loomis Street second-floor window is to the east in reality, and this is where our oldest son sleeps in orientation to where Zsuzsanna and I sleep, as a window has been validated long ago to signify unconscious communication with someone else in some cases.

The fictional second floor implied to be of our present home is possibly a transpersonal factor (interconsciousness) related to a certain band of liminal space (though is otherwise only an emergent consciousness factor). Dreams that are dominantly prescient also typically lack the usual RAS mediation found in other dream types.

---

Lately, my dreams have been less and less vivid and I don't know why.

Fragment 1: I was watching a TV documentary where there was a rock band that consisted only of hippies. The drummer/leader of the band said that "We are willing to indulge ourselves in this absent minded spanish music"

Fragment 2: I was in my art classroom watching the nightmare before christmas with V. When the opening was about to happen, V said "this is the best part" and then the narrator who would normally be telling us about halloween land or whatever was instead singing something to the tune of hotel california but one octve down. I then woke up.

D1 - In a school building, planning a lesson, I am suited and there is a headteacher observing me and we have some discussion.

D2 - I am trudging through snow. I feel the wetness and cold, and see the lumpy footprints i am leaving behind as I make my way uphill.


Notes :
My dream usually have about five common people in them. So I decided I would use them, obviously as dream signs. But when I set that as my intention last night, it meant they did not appear in any dreams whatsoever.
This happens regularly, I choose a dream sign, so my subconscious filters it out of my dreams. How I can use this to my advantage?

D1 - Abstract kind of dream, different persona are fighting (a bit) over whos incharge of me. I see them as floating heads, in groups of 4, sort of in bubbles. The group in charge have a woman head honcho, she is distinctive as her face is white and green due to the lighting and her eyes are blue & green but the colours are split like when people try and get a 3d effect by splitting the colours on the image (to be reassembled via 3d glasses).

D2 - There is an election going on with a load of people gathered in a park. I have had this park before in a dream about a college, in this dream however the white stone building in the centre of the park is a hall for voting.
The campaigning party are represented by a fluorescent light Greek blue colour, which is floating around in the air (kind of).

D3 - Had a rambling dream of travelling somewhere by bike I think.
Then I set off to work early morning, feeling quite pleased with myself that I am organised and will arrive on time before rest of family are even up.
I then look around in the early light and notice that in every direction there are towering plumes of black smoke, on the horizon. I think "oh shit, apocalypse" and hurry back home.

+ football play, I'm playing! [a lot of the time normally I'm just observing the play]. I line up on the right side at the line of scrimmage, looking down the line towards the center and the ball, seeing the heads/hands of the players on both sides. I'm keeping my eyes only on the ball and ignoring the snap count, because I know there are deceptive snap words. In fact I do see false starts/offside movements by both sides a little and wonder if there will be a flag, but no the ball is snapped and I start running. I make my way down the field to the defensive secondary line and there I'm blocked by a big defender and I just can't make my way around him. The ball does not come to me but to a teammate, but he reaches me and I wriggle free to receive a lateral handoff from him. Then I start running [I now realize] the other way back down the field.

+ in the car, a guy is in the back, and my dad, I'm in the front seat (standing), I notice LB is there too, in a revealing peach colored outfit showing a lot of skin including a thong showing off a great asset, and I catch the guy in the back staring at her behind.

+ parking a car in a spot that may be a bit hard to get out of (hard to turn around), there is a parking attendant there. Talking with a woman about how I'm going to get to a certain spot, she's indicating I need to take one mode of transport that I think goes too far in the wrong direction, I explain that I've parked my car in [city Cu].

+ in a bathroom, walking back and forth, I see the toilet seat I want is covered with a seat guard ring made from a washcloth, I think this is a great idea rather than using a disposable toilet seat guard, someone in there asks me why I'm going back and forth all the time

+ [DO] I'm floating along the path of some vehicle with an unobstructed view out the front, it's driving over grass and curbs made from packed gravel, there is a conversation (me talking?) about how there are too many enumerated values for a certain variable in a program, I'm realizing that the uninitialized value can fully take the place of one of the enumerants, and I'm pondering this trying to think if it's really true or not while the vehicle continues on, making left and right turns

I really want to get back into actively practicing lucid dreaming. I miss being on here and discussing dreams with you people! What follows are a few of the most interesting dreams I've had lately.

09.16.2017

Lonliness (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Something has occurred that causes Cheyenne and Jake to forget about me. It's something like a spell or an alternate timeline where we never met and became friends. All I really recall is a rainy night, incomprehensible lonliness, and finally speaking to Cheyenne again even though she does not remember me.

09.16.2017

Foolishness (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Note: This was basically expected. I took one 4mg tablet of Galantamine before bed and another during WBTB at 3 am. That is always a recipe for intense sleep paralysis, which was my goal. I'm trying to use it as a gateway for astral projection, or at least a good lucid.

I'm lucid, walking down the street where I grew up at night. Still affected by my previous dream, I summon Cheyenne to keep me company. I call out her name--- my usual method of summoning. A voice calls back from the darkness, but it's distorted and wrong. "YOU'RE not Cheyenne," I accuse the voice.

"Yes I am." The voice is normal now. Cheyenne approaches me from a dark path out of the trees by the edge of the road. Foolishly, I assume the original distortion must have been an effect of the sound bouncing off the almost tunnel like grove of trees. I am too desperate for companionship after my previous dream to question it further. I figure, this is a dream, so it's not REALLY her anyway.

Cheyenne walks with me back to my childhood home, where I lay down on a hammock around the side of the house. I am laying with my back to her, but it seems for a moment as though she has disappeared, much to my disappointment. If only that were the case...

Because suddenly I hear a demonic voice shriek from behind me, "FOOLED YOU!!!!" as a creature latches onto my back, cackling madly, its arm coming around to dig its long claws painfully into my chest. It falls with me into the dark void of sleep paralysis, mocking me with its shrill, shrieking laughter all the while.

My first thought is that I definitely had this coming to me. Despite my fear and pain, I remember telling myself NOT to try to wake up if I have SP tonight. I hold out for as long as I can, but eventually I give in to the fear and force myself awake.

09.21.2017

Final Destination (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

The early part of the dream is a bit vague. I'm helping someone with computer stuff. There's also a girl I like with pretty blonde hair.

It's as I'm leaving this place that things start to go downhill. My boss has gotten himself mixed up in some Deep Web murder club with an invamous serial killer/hacker named "Sabine." He's going to one of their meetings right now (apparently they meet in a physical place?) and I make the mistake of walking with him to his truck, which is parked outside the convention hall. He asks if I want to come with him and I almost do, but change my mind.

Unfortunately, during this brief span of time, I've drawn the interest of Sabine. I have the option to join or die, and I refuse to do either. But Sabine is seemingly everywhere, with eyes in all forms of technology. I have no idea how to stay constantly vigilant agains a club of murderers who are determined to stalk and kill me. There is also a paranormal aspect to what is happening, but I fear the Murder Club humans much more.

There is a person I'm trying to protect who is also being targeted. I think it's the pretty blonde girl from before. I remember holding her hand, and we might have kissed. Can't really remember this part too clearly. She is involved with the paranormal part of this--- she is a Star who has fallen to earth and needs to find her way home. She is missing a lot of her memory, though. In turn, I have "memories" of these events happening before, in alternate timelines.

I have a conversation with who I think is one of the murderers about what's going on as he mocks me and prepares to kill me. I realize that he's not actually one of the human members of the club; instead, he is a Reaper. I laugh at him, saying I'm not afraid to die at the hands of a Reaper and that he can just go ahead and kill me. He swings his scythe at me mut it hits an invisible barrier. I laugh again. "Looks like you can't do it." I know I am protected against the likes of him, because I know how to use my spiritual energy to defend myself. He wonders out loud what could have caused this. To throw him off his game, I say something about "the Frenchman," apparently referring to the fallen angel Asher. (Asher was a character of mine back in high school. An annoying French angel. In the dream, however, we knew each other from one of the alternate timelines.)

I end up in a bar with my Star friend. Asher bursts in the door, but he looks different than how I remember him. His famous blonde hair is dyed black. He also does not yet remember me from the other timelines, but I know that he will.

I'm now with Asher outside my current residence. Evil vines come from the woods and try to strangle him, but I set them on fire. They scream like banshees as they burn.

I was on the blacktop at school. Everybody was doing a bunch of crazy activities when I saw the only teacher who has a PHD in teaching, who we'll call Dr. B. I went to him, showing off my Frances the Mute CD.
"I have an album that I want you to listen to" I said. "it's an album called Frances the Mute by The Mars Volta. You won't be able to play it here at school because it's kind of inappropriate, but I want you to listen to this as soon as you get home." Or at least I said something like that.
"Ok, then. Sounds like a plan." He said. I then woke up.

I was playing what looked like a JRPG. I was in the process of making a ship in the game which had a TV that you could play another JRPG on. Meanwhile, N and another friend of mine who we'll call V were talking when N noticed what I was doing.
"What are you doing?" She said, quickly stealing the WASD keys from me and moving my character off of the raised platform he was on. I responded with "i'm playing an RPG" and then moved my character to the right. This character's speed was so fast that I moved across the screen in less than a second. I then continued with what I was doing. I then woke up.

I flew in space, above planet, in some kind of exoskeleton looking spacesuit. It was dark grey, nearly black, helmet looked like head of owl, on the back I had eagle like wings, and I had also regular shape of rest of my body. Surface was covered by something like hard feathers (metallic?).
In front of me, the vast imperial army slowly closed distance to myself... Star destroyer next to star destroyer, clouds of TIE fighters.
I stood between them and planet with my hands and wings in gesture of stopping something and I told quietly: "Behold! This planet is mine. Leave in peace or be destroyed."
I saw chucking admiral in part of my visor muttering something like "fool", while imperial army didn't even pause.
From legs, hands and wings dark violet plasma flames appeared and I started complicated dance in between enemy ships, changing advance of TIE fighters in debris field fast. The star destroyers started barrage of shots, but I knew where to fly, so I weaved between shots... it looked like dance. There was no more chuckles. I close to star destroyer and with slash of hand I cut it from front to back in half. Not even stopping, I danced between shots and advanced from one star destroyer to other... destroying them as fast as Tie fighters.
Then admiral called Darth Darkness(I don't remember exactly whether it was darkness but it sound that way) to battle... and much bigger ship appeared, resembling Executor. I promptly changed my course and cut in half that majestic ship too. The fleet then retreated into hyperspace, leaving only debris field behind.

First day when I actually had to use 2 blankets, because it got chilly at night. Finally, I'm so over hot summer.

So, in a dream, I decide it would be a great time to WILD. I start to rock back and forth and I try to actually feel the motion. Like it happens when you imagine a motion while falling asleep, then when you are in HH, you actually start feeling it.

So I start rocking, I'm on a verge of feeling it, when someone in the dream disturbs me and I can't continue. Dangit.