non-lucid

I got up because I couldn't sleep, and I went out to the balcony. I was several stories up, and the balcony looked out over a grassy lawn, on the far side of which lights twinkled from the windows of other apartment buildings. To my left, I could see more lights from the night skyline of the city.

I was surprised at how dark the sky still was, though full of brilliant stars. Wasn't it almost morning? I remembered that I had gotten up for a while and didn't go back to bed until the sky was starting to lighten. (That part was true.) Shouldn't the sun be rising by now? For some reason I felt strangely tempted to jump off the balcony to see if I could fly, which made me wonder if I might actually be dreaming. But I realized that would be a terrible test, because if I was wrong, well...

I didn't think it could be possible that I was dreaming, because I was sure that ever since I had gone back to bed, I had lain there unable to sleep. How could I be dreaming if I hadn't gone to sleep first? I'd better do a test anyway, just to be sure. I reached out my left hand and tried to invoke a ball of glowing white light in the air above it. Nothing happened. Oh well, I must be awake after all... was my last thought before I woke up. In retrospect, it was a terrible choice of RC, but the only one that occurred to me at the time.

Waking up was confusing at first—hadn't I just been suffering from insomnia? But if I had been dreaming all along (and only now did I notice the profound discrepancies with WL: that I have no such balcony, and moreover live in a completely different kind of building with a completely different kind of view), then I must have been asleep the whole time, only dreaming of insomnia.

I was at the road surrounded by fields of wheat. I was there with the black dudes, we were stopping any car that would drive there and take money from them. It was a really hot afternoon. Received money we spent in an exclusive hotel. There was a huge swimming pool.

Late night after very long day at work. Very bizarre disorganised dreams last night.

1) Driving down a busy dual carriageway and I realise I'm going the wrong way. I have to turn off as quickly as possible, and I get into a petrol station. There are little furry cartoon like foxes serving customers. I pull back out onto the dual carriageway then off again. Then I'm walking down a spiral staircase in a dark very old brick building. I reach the bottom, then my memory fails.

2) This is a whole collection of semi-related scenes:
- walking outside my house with my mother we see someone picking the paint off a window as if looking to buy the house, but we had only invited them around to vist, then we see someone else in the house without permission looking around again obviously interested in buying the house
- eating supper with my wife and children, we remember that there are lots of guests still outside and it's dark, there are a few visible outside the window,and talk about whether we should go outside again. My wife suggests I have a quick drink with hte guests and then I can set off to where I was going (?where).

3) Sitting in a cinema, I shine a very bright torch onto an usher walking along the front row and think it's funny. A film starts it's pictures of a very nurdy person explaining about the 'Ben 10 fraud collection' and pictures of him grinning showing off things that people have pretended to be genuine Ben10 items. Then he is demonstrating a remote control helicopter that is the size of a hand, it looks quite impressive. Then I'm out in a garden being shown the helicopter, and then we are in a garage. Somehow we are playing with paint and it flips all over the person I'm with, I think it was my old room mate from medical school. He says it doesn't matter he is wearing old clothes anyway.

4) Sitting up in the balcony at an odd concert where someone is reading out a speech. Next door Blink182 are also doing a concert so I keep running across to watch a bit of that. Then the concert I am at is on TV and it becomes very moving. A man with a very badly fitting toupee is playing the organ and the crowd goes mad, he smiles to the camera. I look behind me and another female friend from medical school is in tears.

5) I have put several very large live maggots in a brown roll and I start eating them. They taste amazing. Then I realise that I'm vegetarian and start to feel very sick, although I'm still amazed how good they tasted.

Ok due to the reoccuring dream character (male) last night whenever I saw him I asked him if he was my dream guide. The man became frantic, almost scared. He grabbed ahold of my arms, very very firmly, and said,"Do not listen to them, I am no figment of your imagination. I am real amd waiting for you. Please do not give up on me. I will come when the time is right." Then I wake up and my boss is calling me in early.

22/2/16:
Dream 1: I was helping a guy getting married online. I gave him some advice about it and then travelled with him to Fiji for the wedding. Before the event I was standing with him outside of a building and he was vaping.

Dream 2: I was with a group of schoolmates on an island of some sort. We were involved in some massive competition that I think involved building and then flying a plane, like formula SAE but for planes. I helped construct it for a bit, and then the competition began. I drove a little cart thingy towing the plane through huge hallways on the way to the competition hall. I drove in there slowly and there was a huge hangar like stage where I drove the plane to, on the side there were huge rows of chairs where competitors, judges and spectators were seated. I then followed my group to sit down on the side, but then I got up and went to hop into the plane to fly it in the competition. I think I woke up before I started flying.

D1 - Someone repeatedly tried to copy my super powers. I thought they were crazy as they were doing it all wrong
It was a beautiful woman standing infront of a cresent moon, the moon had a yellow light on it.
She tried seven times making a low tonal sounds. On the last attempt she succeeded.

D2 - On holiday heading back with luggage to a car park, car was gone had to hike up a trail to another car park, feeling lost.

D3 - Going out, on way down the stairs, look in on Sam to see if he wants to come. He is already heading out with a new mate, I feel lost again, and look for an old coat reminscent of past times.

[Comment]
After dream one.
My mind is contemplating dream meaning, one syncronitiy after another coming to mind of recent times.
Dream meaning comes to me with an accompaning strong physical sensation.
Meaning was that not only do opposites change into each other but other elementary forces can interchange,
such as love becomes fear, fear of losing control changes into pure love.

I felt a burning heat that moved like larva in a tight stream up my chest. At the same time the world seem to flip between waking and dream state, with everything in waking state appearing as a dream sign and sync. My mind was a total rush, as everything seemed to become clear for a moment.
It subsided and the sensations remained for about an hour.

Dreamed that some bubble thing was attacking Ponyville and only Fluttershy could stop it. I recall Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were consumed by the bubble thing (not dead though, just more or less trapped by it) and then F.S. went off with her pet rabbit Angel to stop the bubble thing. The dream then went off to me going across many miles at once, by using my arms and rafters in the sky.

I have so many dream fragments I remember this morning. I can remember a lot of detail about what I saw in my dreams, the plots remain quite vague.

1) I'm in bed. there are two other men with me one of them is famous. A woman is telling us that we need to practice our routine (for some sort of show?). I offer to get the vegetables ready and walk over to a sink where there is a bag of greens to chop up, they look a bit yellow. I start chopping and realise that most of them are mouldy and there are insects all over them. I show it to the woman. I have to go to the shop to get more vegetables. I remember in detail the path up to the shop, I'm running, jumping past other people and their dogs, over some rocks I see my feet landong on the rocks and lots of stones on the ground. I get to the top of the path and there's a GP surgery there I try to get in but it's the wrong side and I have to go around to the front. then I'm back in the hotel room, it gets a bit sexual for a while, then I have to go back out to the shop (can't remember why). I'm in the hotel lobby and I have a conversation with one of the staff. then I'm back out on the path. I have to cross the road.

2) At some sort of large holiday complex. I can't remember the order of events exactly. I'm outside and I start tieing my shoelaces, a child sits down beside me, then an official looking woman comes up to me and starts telling in French that I should not ask a child to sit next to me. I tell her I can't speak French, then we have an argument in English and I tell her that the child came and sat next to me, we agree to disagree. I'm inside with a group of people a childrens's entertainer is setting up, he tells us that everyone on camp has a 'routine' and I tell the group that I've seen it before and I'm going outside. I take a long time sorting out what I need to take with me from my coat. I step outsode and look across at the mountains they are covered in snow I can see it extends right down to just a short way away. There are 2 main ski runs down the side of the main mountaintop, they look quite scary near a ledge and very tight turns, I tell my wife I'm going for a walk but I'm going to fly so I won't be long, and tell her I'm going up to look at the snow. I stand a bit longer and watch some people skiing down another run.

3) I'm in a room with a window looking out onto a snowy scene. Then I'm with a young girl and we are watching something happen outside, I think she was a bit frightened and I made her feel better.

4) In some sort of spy film. I'm on the phone saying that I can help with a mission, looking at some sort of advert. The man on the end of the phone suddenly becomes unwell and has to go. Vague recollection of the rest of the dream, something about walking around a large vehicle.

> I'm not 100% sure that I'm taking part in this dream, as opposed to being a spectator. I think I am though. There's a group of people, mostly around their late teens. They are being hunted down by a group of.. something. At night they place a string made out of a particular item around their camp so that they can detect when the things come after them.

> I'm with a woman who is about 10 years older than me and whom I haven't spoken to or thought about in a very long time. We're in a non-descript room that later turns into the living room at my mom's house. Before the room changes we're going at it in the very centre. After the room changes I can hear my mom walking about. I quickly run into the kitchen to avoid her.

All I can remember is somone insisting on having soy/skim milk.

P.S. milk symbolizes maternal instincs, motherly love, human kindness, compassion, and wholesomeness.

Another late night, which always seems to mess up my dream recall, got to get to bed earlier tonight.

1) Being driven through the old town I used to work in. I remember driving past some run down areas (that don't actually exist) and noticing that they were now looking as if they had been tidied up and planted with flowers. We drove into the town and I commented that I didn't realise how big it was my wife told me that it had always been this big and I thought 'yes it has'.

2) Walking into a train with a kitten, it's a very young version of our cat. It jumped onto the roof of the train and I managed to get it down eventually. We walked on board then it became an aeroplane I went to the front and asked a stewardess if we could bring the cat and she said yes if it is put in a special cupbord. I put the cat in a carrying box and put it in the cupboard.

3) Not much remembered from ths one. I was stood next to a low wall with my wife. She handed me a laptop and got annoyed because one of our children had put a CD in wrong and it looked damaged. I took the CD out and gave it back to my wife.

Numerous times I could have noticed my hands in these dreams: carying the kitten, reaching up for it, holding the laptop.

2.21.16

Yesterday work 5am-1:30pm. Slept from 4pm -3am : D

I kept waking up and recalling the dreams. But I sitll forgot details and some dreams.

DR 1:
Japanese Invasion
We are getting together at school. Younger kids going into older kids classrooms. They are moving there from classrooms on lover levels of the building, because we expect invasion.

Japanese army is suppose to be near and coming closer. They told us to stay indoors. I really want to see the news so I go outside between some bushes to go get my tablet, because that's where we hid them. We were not allowed to keep any.

I see a few open-top military vehicles coming by. I met a japanese man and his daughter on a dirt path through those bushes. I put my hands together, bow down and say some japanese word. I know it's not correct, but I'm hoping it will do. And it does, they greet me also and we just pass each other.

DR 2:
Japanese knife

I open a long package and it's a japanese cooking knife with white handle. The blade is intricate and designed to cut different things in different parts of the blade. I think I got it from a friend. But in next dream my mom tells me that she got herself one too and I ask her how does it cut.

DR 3:
Girl

Spoiler for girl:

I walk up to a group of guys with few girls and ask (the guys) if some of them wants to do it. One blond girl says "ok, I'll go with you". I'm thinking ok, but I'm not sure how this will work. She lays down naked and I go down on her. I'm not really liking it and I'm keeping my mouth closed. I tell her that this is my first time with a girl. She says "well after this, you will not able to say that anymore". I'm trying to do a good job but I know I am not. Somebody else comes and takes over for me.

DR 4:
Movie set
I'm standing outside and women next to me are talking about directors. I ask them which studio they work for and they say "the new one, but they can't really say the name".

I was in school. I felt really weak, I had high temperature and seizures. I was almost sleeping there. Teachers had nothing against it. Suddenly my mother and sister appeared, and I went out of school with them. We drove to some kind of government building, I was waiting for them to finish theirs paperwork. Somehow whole my class drove there too for a school trip. I drive back to school with them, and wander corridors. It was dark and the building was empty. I went out - the school was surrounded by huge mountains. They looked beautiful in the sunset.

Hot cop
I don't remember exactly where I am. A kind of restaurant/bar I would say. It seems that I'm with friends. One of them, a white guy, is using my phone to send a message to the police through Whatsapp. The profile picture that the police uses shows that there is at least 1 hot cop. My friend gets her number using my Whatsapp and then continues on his own phone. I ask for my phone back and send the hot cop a message about what happened. Basically my intention is to let her know who she is talking to... I want her to be talking to me of course.

Bus
I'm in a public bus. Behind the wheel is a white woman. I want to get out but she won't let me at this stop, I'll have to wait until the next. I ask her if she is serious and she is. She tells me I can sit down for another minute. I'm quite annoyed by her and start walking around a bit, not wanting to sit down because I refuse to listen to her. I walk to the end of the bus and get out at the next stop. It's been a set back of a few hundred metres. I start walking through the city. It's daytime and the city reminds me of Amsterdam. I walk past some people and can make out some Indonesians talking amongst each other. There's an endless supply of Indonesians in this country.

Uni
I'm at the university, though I don't recognise any of these buildings from reality. I'm standing on perhaps the 3rd floor. There's a trashbin all the way down. I throw some plastic down, but it's caught by the air current and deviates. My second piece of plastic I crumble up to prevent this from happening. I throw it and miraculously it hits the first piece of plastic and now they're in the bin together. Sweet.

I'm in class. The lecturer is my first grade in high school history teacher. We're talking about the results of the test we just had. It was the 2nd of four tests. I explain my logic behind the grades I wanna get to the friend who is sitting next to me. The logic I'm using is actually from one of the courses I'm following in reality, where we also have 4 tests.

Dream 1 - Rugby
I remember being in a ute with friends, we're driving over to a rugby field to play a game in the evening. Some people are leaving and one of them raises his arms in a 'wtf brah' kind of way, indicating that he doesn't approve of us playing rugby. We continue onwards though and make it to the field. We all get out, there's like 20 of us that somehow managed to fit in that ute without it seeming like there was 20 people... We rush down the grass hill onto the rugby field and then this guy steps out. He's got dark skin and his friends all show up, there's about the same amount of them as there is of us. They're trying to fight us, everyone goes 1v1 against someone else. The guy I go up against I actually recognize, "OH hey man!! Wow haha how you doing?" We end up shaking hands and talking happily, I then said "Why are we doing this? Can't we all just play rugby if you guys want to fight it out? I mean this is a rugby field and we are all rugby players..." (I don't even play rugby O_O).

Dream 2 - Escape with the rocks
This dream I remember being quite intense, the name Adam was quite important. The place I was in was a school, though not like any I've seen. It was quite clean and futuristic with white walls that make you think 'wow this place is modern AF'. In the dream there were these special rocks which me and my friends had been collecting, I can't remember what they did or why/how we collected them. Towards the end of the dream there was a 'rewind' moment or something, and the dream played out a different scenario. We're in the modern looking gym, a HUGE dragon appears and attacks. I remember scuttling backwards on the ground. I think he didn't see me, there's smoke in the air and screaming, I think he was after someone else.. I turn my head and see the glint of a huge eye peering at me through the smoke. O_O uh oh... I get up and bolt, heading up the bleachers towards the upper exit. The dragon is after one of our special rocks. Adam was the guy who was holding the bag full of special rocks, I remember picking one up and looking at it, it's such a vivid blue. There are other crystals and rocks in the bag too, but the one I'm looking for isn't there. Where is it? I grab the bag which Adam had left and head out the exit. I'm outside, there's people running around trying to escape, I spot Adam and run up to him. "hey I got the bag" I say, passing it over to him. He says something about how it's all pointless, he looks like he's lost all hope for... something? Oh well. I think I continue to run off somewhere to look for the rock.

I couldn't remember any of these dreams when I woke up, I then decided to just sit there and see if I could figure it out. It was a real test of patience, I couldn't remember any details at all. After 15 minutes it suddenly just popped into my head though.