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29th May

Dream Fragment:

I remember little of most of the dream. Just one part stands out.

I was being shown someone's pet or something. It was a cat at first but then it was a hyena. It was on a stand or pedestal of sorts and the animal itself looked elongated compared to what I'd expect.

Then the person showing me the hyena, was telling me something about its urinary system and they put their hand sort of inside the hyena from underneath and pulled out a very large fleshy and desaturated pink sac.

Some explanation was given to me. I didn't feel any disgust and was curious about the anatomy and around this point I realised the hyena looked to be sort of split into three parts but still joined together by some spinning tube thing between each sectioned part. I remember the hyena's head was turned toward us most of the time and was panting. Something about this segment reminds me of having the dog at the vet.

Dream Fragment:

Maybe this was the first dream. Something about H and our friend C. I remember we were at our house, or some version of it. H was concerned about someone breaking into the shed and I reassured H by pointing at a very Sims-like alarm system installed just to the side of the shed door.

I remember it was a dark night but there was a full moon in sight. The ambience looked darker than it should have done considering the full moon and how big/close it appeared to be.

---

Notes:

- The alarm system from the Sims should have been a somewhat obvious dream sign.
- The dream with the hyena, while similar in feel to the experience of having the dog at the vet, was probably just a manifestation of the interest I have in analysing anatomy from a hands-on approach. My lack of disgust or similar feeling is somewhat unusual within the context of automatic reactions, but perhaps is some indication that I could overcome such reactions more easily with training or simply by being exposed to this type of demonstration on a regular basis. I often feel sad that things have to die for us to have a better look at them and this aspect and the fleshy sac both relate directly to how I feel about meat in cooking, at times.
- I believe the rotating tube sections were simply the dream mind's way of justifying the body being split in three sections while the creature was still alive with no pain. In a way it felt a bit like something I might be able to do with a 3D model and perhaps that's part of where this originated too.

Only some small fragments. Didn't make notes on getting up and the DJ wasn't the first priority after getting up.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was helping or teaching a small boy. He was from a village called Fargoth? It was South-East from wherever I was, somewhere in the North of England. I remember seeing it on a map, a mix of an online map and a city-building game map. I remember we looked at maps together too, he talked about Spain for some reason and I remember zooming in on the deserts and seeing farmland.

Dream Fragment:

I was helping a North American general, he wanted to take me and a group to battle somewhere specific. In the dream I had already been in battle at that place before. The general must have been in his fifties but had white hair for the most part. I remember he had a typical US soldier's helmet from decades past, not a modern one.

We went to the place and we were under fire from pretty much all directions. I remember it was dark and atmospheric, the sky was a certain mix of red and black and smoke. The general wanted to go after a certain Zen-Chi and so I lead him up a hill where I knew he was firing from or something. This entire location had small houses and maybe was a small fort or old castle? I remember a little market thing, in ruins.

At the top of this climb, mostly stone steps, there was a wooden shed. There were loads of woodworking tools on the outside, and other sharp implements that had nothing to do with woodworking.

The general wanted to go head in, I stopped him physically. I told him he couldn't, that was exactly how I'd lost a friend to Zen-Chi myself and so I decided we'd taunt him a little first. We shouted at him from outside to try and unsettle him; then we opened the creaky wooden door. It was brighter inside, there were some tungsten bulbs lighting the place. There were physical separations or curtains all over the inside, but before I went in, from the tool rack, I grabbed a long and heavy metal rod that had a perfect point at one end. It was like a cast aluminium javelin, it was odd.

Despite it's length I managed to manoeuvre inside with it. I motioned for the general to stay back and I crouched, seeing under the separators inside the shed. I could see Zen-Chi's feet. I approached slowly and heard him taunt back at us now, I can't remember what he said.

Then, when I was close enough, I struck his foot with the sharp point of the javelin, quickly pulling it back and then I think I got up and opened the barrier, which was a curtain after all, and struck Zen-Chi in the head with the sharp point, then his chest.

In that moment it was somewhat unsettling to strike him on the head, which made me feel as though I'd hesitated, but I wanted to be sure he'd die, hence the second strike on the chest.

---

Notes:
- The hesitation and unsettling feeling of striking someone in the head so brutally like I did against this dream character reflects well how I feel about certain situations in fighting. I feel it's somewhat foul to destroy someone's face and head, not to mention it paints a very gruesome picture in my imagination.

- The plot of that dream was pretty generic, as I have no special reason to have been on either side of the dream's conflict.

- In waking life, H pointed out that Zen-Chi seems like a pretty generic name, which may even not be a name at all, since it's just two oriental words relating to the spiritual and meditative worlds.

- When Zen-Chi was dying, he had an expression of surprise on his face. I'm remembering now that one of the taunts that me or the general shouted at him was that we'd take all his woodworking tools once we were done with him.

- The dream where I was helping the boy was much longer, but because I didn't make any notes and had it very early on in the morning, very few details were retained through sleeping again and having the second dream.

- The red, black and smoke of the second dream reminded me of Stratholme in World of Warcraft. It sort of seemed to imply that the atmosphere itself was practically on fire, but during that dream I remember seeing tracer bullets and shells flying above us, very similar to a tank game I've played recently.

Morning of September 13, 2019. Friday.

Dream #: 19,261-01. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



I enter an instinctually motivated dreaming experience of watching a train in Brisbane in the late morning (anticipation of vestibular modulation). Several unknown people are present. Instead of boarding it, I continue to stand in the area and watch it leave.

I decide I may get the train after all and manage to catch up when it makes a stop. The setting is now rural, and the train seems to have become a ramshackle shed. Welding sparks from an unseen welder scatter from beyond the other side of one corner to the right (neural synchrony).

---

This dream stems from the same process as “Typewriter Train.” I was flying over a train that screeched and suddenly stopped. The front of the train was a giant black 1940s typewriter (potential cognitive arousal). The train had run out of track and dug slightly into the ground.

Another version of the same process occurred in “Helicopter Digger.” While a friend and I were fishing, a helicopter came down, and its rotor blades dug into the ground.

The first dream’s last scene is consciousness initiation and emerging from the dream state (neural synchrony in waking point modulation as emerging sparks as analogous with fire, lightning, and electricity).

The second dream is vestibular modulation transitioning to potential cognitive arousal, but with the association of needing physicality to relay information (typewriter). (The mind and body must connect to wake and move.)

The third dream is vestibular modulation transitioning to the anticipation (or desire) of returning to slow-wave sleep.

---

Narrow escape

I was some woods. The weather was extremely foggy, all the trees in the forest had no leaves and it was cold, probably a mid-autumn day. It was a deciduous forest composed mostly of beech and hornbeam trees. I was there with a group of people, we were trying to get inside a rundown shed. I thought that it was a horrible idea to seek shelter in that ruin, but I wasn't exactly sure if that was our goal. We were attacked by undead, a group of zombies ran at us and we had to fight them. We had only knives at our disposal but backing up each other we managed to defend ourselves. Curiously, the undead attacked only a moving person. Undead seemed somewhat oblivious of my presence. Suddenly a carriage appeared behind us and several trees disappeared, opening a path to leave the forest. I jumped up on it with two other travellers that weren't a part of our group. Two knights, they were arguing. One called another a cancer. We drove out of the forest.

---

Game Engine Test

I launched a game engine and appeared on a test level as a game character. It was dark, but thinking about how I should've disabled several broken effects I brought back lights. The room I was in was covered with shiny metal plates. Suddenly the engine test turned into "Half-Life" game. I received a crossbow and sneaked around, trying to shoot down alien grunts.

---

Fragment

I was at some party and was about to leave. All the people were formally dressed. I've met several people I haven't seen in a long while, one of my pals asked me if I had time to help her with something. I thought "As usual...", and said that I won't be able to help her this time. I left the entry hall and moved to another room, where I met my old teacher. She asked me something which I couldn't quite make out, she seemed really angry. "Excuse me, what?" - I asked, she smiled and said that I've made a lot of progress since the last time we met.

Morning of November 30, 2017. Thursday.



My dream occurs in two main parts. It has the usual distortions and absence of viable conscious self identity. The only conscious self threads relate to knowing I am married to Zsuzsanna. The rest of my dream self identity ambiguously perceives itself as a teenager, and my parents are still alive.

In the first part of my dream, I am in the kitchen of our present address (erroneously perceived as of Cubitis, where I have not lived since 1978). The layout of the house is different. Zsuzsanna is present and we are rearranging everything (which we had been doing a lot in real life lately after the storm tore the roof from our house, though that memory is not extant in my dream). There are two special pictures that present a three-dimensional impression. One is very large and displays a two-storey house. The other is similar to the pattern of our present bedroom curtain but features only one cheetah.

I marvel at the large image of the house and its three-dimensionality. (It faces north when aligned to our present home’s layout.) As I change my position in the room and move my head, there is vivid imagery that looks as if the Venetian blinds in the house are closing and opening, depending on where I stand, though this relates to the angle I am viewing the house from, not the blinds actually moving. At least one bright light is on inside the second floor of the residence where this intriguing Venetian blinds effect is seen, which involves at least three windows. There is a sense of both pleasure and awe. (The windows are about five inches high.) The joy I feel is probably based on liminal realization of modulating my dream with threads of my conscious self, yet my dream self not actively comprehending this factor.

I am then looking at the image of a cheetah (about eight inches in length to start with). I am able to manipulate the image by moving parts of it with my fingers, to make it smaller or larger or change the proportions. It does not become distorted no matter how I move different points of the image. Its three-dimensionality is similar to one of those toddler’s board books with the additional features implied to be fur or other textures (such as “Touch and Feel Wild Animals”). The clusters of fur on the cheetah image growing and shrinking depending on how I alter the image with my fingers fascinates me.

Later, I notice my father standing by the doorway of our shed (our present shed, not the one in Cubitis). He is dressed in an unusual colorful outfit and has a large white beard. I go out and see that he is trying to move several large parts of machinery, one that looks like a small motor. Not being lucid, I still use a type of telekinesis. I am aware that the combined weight of the objects is quite heavy, yet I touch one (the smallest object) and all the other objects connect to it as if magnetic. I effortlessly lift everything and my father seems grateful. I realize that this means I am a witch. I place them out in the backyard through a fictional doorway on the east end of our shed.

From here, there is an incorporeal and unseen male character that is somehow only partially present. There is brief talk with him about a fairy being a great wizard. My father walks to the west end of our shed (where the main door pulls up in reality). It is open to the street. There are at least two black horses facing north that I lightly pet. My father expresses no distrust or wariness of me being a witch.

---

A shed or warehouse represents liminal space during the waking transition in a specific part of the sleeping period and is a factor of memory recall and storage. Horses as this dream’s end marker represent my “return” to my physical body in waking. The health or condition of a horse often relates to the health of one’s physical body or recent mental states (or that of someone known). (For example, after a classmate died, I had a terrifying dream of a horse falling down and suffocating in front of me, after it came through the doorway of our homeroom classroom, both a result of his death, and the unsteady state of my emotions at the time.)

In one of my dreams of yesterday, I was a guardian angel “from the future”, helping a fictional character rendered as the actor Jonathan LaPaglia to fulfill his supposed destiny with his future wife. Then, in this one, I am a powerful witch helping my father. I manipulate imagery (though that was implied to be the nature of whatever technology was present) and effortlessly lift heavy objects by mental will (and not only do I lift them, they stick together magnetically in a very long cluster nearly as wide as the shed). There seems to be no difference between a powerful witch and an angel in some cases, at least from my dream self’s viewpoint. (My wife Zsuzsanna has appeared as both an angel and a witch in my dreams, including prescient dreams from before we met.)

The Venetian blinds represent the virtual division between the dream self identity and the conscious self identity. The fact that I am not surprised by my telekinetic abilities validates liminal dream state awareness and liminal dream control (that is, with no realization it is a dream, yet having endless powers to create and control my dream state experiences). I certainly would not have this expectation or act as such when conscious.

---

First dream

I was in home, it was evening. I was in room with almost all of my sisters. One came back from working abroad in Switzerland. We all were doing something on laptops and PC's. Sisters were playing the Sims game, while I was doing something on sisters laptop. Suddenly my pal appeared and tried to kick me a few times, roundhouse kick like Chuck Norris. It had an old operating system. I took it to another room. My mother was sitting there, working on something. Then all my sisters appeared and started arguing. After they went away, I turned on an interesting game. It had camera from behind character and gameplay mechanics similar to heretic 2. I was a warrior chasing an evil warlock that kidnapped my daughter. I was climbing up a mountain. The scenery was quite beautiful, everything was really vivid. After climbing I ended up in ruins, but warlock teleported me to another plane where I had to fight with a giant. After I defeated him, a book with hints where I should look next appeared. But I was unable to read it, as warlock made the book slowly disappear and teleported me back to ruins.

Second dream

I was in fathers carpentry workshop. There was a fireplace set up in one of its corner. We were working on something, but had to check something in a shed near our garage. It was a dark evening, my brother that worked abroad was back. We tried to open the shed, but we couldn't. We took a drill and destroyed lock on the door. We didn't looked what was inside. I went back to workshop, father went to home. I looked at the fireplace, and thought "Screw it, it may burn the building as well." And went to home.

Rock Throwing
I'm at the DVA with Luke Ray and one or so other guys. I see Luke swinging on a tree, so I decide to run over and do the same. It's only a small tree that has no leafs on it. It's located towards near the road near the drains.

The guys are throwing rocks to one another from a long distance away. I decide to pick up and rock or brick and throw it back to Luke. I'm impressed by the power I have when I threw it. I felt good about myself. I think I was also catching them as they were thrown my way, and was worried about the rocks hurting my hands as I caught them.

Im in a shed with one of the guys I was with. I'm searching for rocks with him. I point out a few, which end up being bricks. He says it's too big, so I bang the rock on something which chips away at the rock. I hand it back and his happy with it now. The rock was actually a brick.

Side Notes: EFT didn't seem as effective tonight. Trying to perfect the language

I was stressed about work. How am I going to complete all the obligations piling up this month, which is already getting shorter? I figured it would be best to prioritize. I should be able to finish the map in an afternoon if I get the right materials together. I thought about what I would need to finish it, and came up with vellum and archival paper. Fortunately I knew I already had these somewhere and was pretty sure where I had last put them, in a box in the storage area. I could see it in my mind's eye. I had woken up early and wanted to go retrieve them, but the rest of my family was still asleep.

My mother, brother, and father were all staying with me in the house and I didn't want to disturb them by walking through the building and rummaging around in boxes. I decided to go outside for a walk instead. I walked down the stairs, which were littered with all the discarded santa masks. This struck me as odd at first, but I reasoned we must have had a holiday party yesterday.

Outside it felt like early morning, and there was a narrow stream of clear water nearby. Next to the stream was a small building of naturally weathered wood, a sort of shed. Just after I entered it, it occurred to me that even though I know I'm awake, I should practice some RCs to instill good habits. No one else was around and there was no reason not to do a blatant one, so I jumped. Yes, just as I thought, it's obvious I'm awake, because that felt perfectly normal. But just for good measure I should do it a few more times in order to internalize the feeling of what a proper jump feels like in waking life.

So I jumped in the air several times in succession, concentrating on that critical moment at the apex, when the upward motion reverses and gravity takes over. I knew that I would be able to tell if I were dreaming because the timing would be off, that moment would feel drawn out slightly, extended. Hmmm.... it isn't, is it? Was that a touch of hesitation at the top? No, I'm pretty sure this is natural. I've just never concentrated on it sufficiently before, my attention is making it seem more pronounced.

And yet... it does seem a trifle too long. Could it be...? What if...? I had just begun to seriously consider the possibility that I might be dreaming after all, when I woke up in bed. Only very slowly did I come back to myself and realize that all the things I had taken as evidence that I was awake were wrong or askew, signs of false memory. The building and surroundings that seemed so familiar at the time were pure dream space, unlike any place I know in waking life. It made sense at the time that my whole family was there, but the only accurate part is that I'm currently sharing a hotel room with my mother. The anxiety about work is real enough, but it was only well after I had written down my initial notes that I realized that in the dream I had felt responsible for an additional project that didn't exist in WL, in addition to the real ones. Finally, as I initially lay in bed reviewing the dream, I didn't even notice how I slipped back briefly from genuine waking into an FA, and briefly found myself another place entirely, which only transitioned again to lying back in bed once I reached the point where I felt I had enough grasp of the memory to get up and write.

Yet another pleasant nightmare from the deep depths of my clear soul.

It started off with me in my house. Some guys broke in. (Did I mention that its long but I have bad recall?). A couple days later, they broke in again. We were trying to recover from the first time, so there wasn't much to steal.

I was up in my room. Strangely enough, the only things that looked like my house, were the outside (with the exception of a few sheds), and my room, the rest looked like a beach house I go to every summer. Since I was up in my room, I was safe. For some reason they only messed up the kitchen.

A couple days later, I was talking to my neighbors (not Jerry this time), and then I heard some alarm. I could hear windows crashing. Everyone ran away to behind a wood pile to hide, there were some sheds there (that do NOT exist in waking life). I tried to run but I couldn't move fast at all (a tell-tale sign of one of my nightmares). So I slid down, I though one of them was coming after me, but they were apparently too involved in their kitchen-robbery. I came down into a shed with a smaller boy than me, about 10 or 12, and he had a baby-ish face. He talked to me about something, can't remember what, and then I closed my eyes, out of scared-ness.

This... is where it gets weird. I can't describe it all in this, its already long enough, but I'm starting a thread about what the heck happened. Anyways...

06.07.2013

Eating Cake with DeadDollKitty & Shoulder Workout of Death with the Grim Reaper (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I expected to have shorter dream recall than usual, but it seems even when I'm not even trying to recall my dreams to the best of my abilities with WBTB and such, I guess being over-analytical of things in life helps a lot in dreams. Guess that's a good thing, seeing how I'm getting better with hypnosis, and because I haven't made a hypnosis script to just have better recall with my dreams, these are just mini-novels compared to what I can potentially do with hypnosis.

It's truly amazing, and I'm always finding more ways to apply hypnosis to create triggers for other sensations unconsciously. It's unfortunate that some people never marvel or even want to revel in the thought of seeing hypnosis in a completely different way beyond their spectrum of misconceptions behind it. Anyway...

I'm with a dream character that has a mix of looking like DeadDollKitty and probably the Angela Varona that had the ABC interview of how she became an Internet sex symbol. One part of me wanted to believe that this dream character was more like DDK though, so I decided to just go with that instead. Seems we became close friends somehow, seeing how she asked me if we wanted to work out in the gym.

We're both outside, and it looks like it rained recently or it felt like it was going to rain. It mostly felt like the first presumption, seeing how the concrete below us was saturated with a darker gray color that's very wet as we're walking together. The grass to the right of us looked pretty wet itself, even though I didn't bother looking for mud-holes or anything where the soil is. You know how you can get the feeling that the grass is wet or not before you actually step into it? That you can notice the difference even if the area you're at is completely new to you and you didn't have a mental map of it in advance? That's exactly how it felt, and even though the analysis of just being aware of the grass itself would be trivial and petty, it felt pretty interesting for me to recall something like that, or to even be aware of that in the dream.

The sky around us, it had a calm and relaxing atmosphere around us, and is mostly a medium tone gray color with blue thrown in to make it less monotone and dull. I can recall some white specks here and there as well, and it felt like the sun within the dream wasn't going to show up at all. All of this was processed within a few seconds, seeing how most of my attention at the moment was on the dream character replica of DeadDollKitty,

DDK, she had a completely different vibe to her, at least how I interpreted her on chat when she comes on rarely. She didn't seem as cheerful in this dream, or at least even wanting to be gregarious with me. It was a weird persona this dream character was expressing to me, she wanted me to follow her, and I kept up at a reasonable pace. It's almost as if she became stoic and combined with her body gesture of showing that she wants to walk faster to whatever location we're going so that I would just follow her and not get myself saturated on trying to analyze her persona too much.

She didn't seem to show any signs of lacking interest in me having company with her, it seemed something was heavily going on within her head. You know how you can tell a person essentially goes into a trance with themselves when speculating about something and still manages to walk just fine to their destination? It felt like something bad was going to happen within her mind, and because I couldn't really go into her mind so easily and was more disheartened by her slight depression, it just made things seem much worse than they should be.

It got to the point where I had to know what it was she was thinking within her mind, what exactly was she thinking at that time? She gave off an impression that she was calm, collected, and at ease and yet it's as if her body language was telling me that she either wanted to find solace in some way but was too distracted with anxiety to hopefully come to terms with me and talk things out. She's wearing a black leather jacket of some kind that extends down to upper waist region, and she's wearing a white blouse underneath, the type of blouse that has folded sections and then wrapped with a strap in the middle.

The top of the blouse has nice spacing that makes her breasts the center of attention with how the black leather jacket makes a huge contrast for her Apricot colored skin. Although, with the hue this atmosphere outside in the dream gives, her skin is a bit more pale than usual, being a little bluer, as if the reflection from the sky truly made an impact in how I conceptualized her changing skin tone later on in the dream.

Her hair is dark brown, smooth, silky, and almost feels as if it was attached to her hair, it was too perfect in fact. Then she had long tight leather pants, or maybe even in the category of being between latex and leather. My recall of her pants in particular is kind of patchy, but I think that on the outer regions of her ankles, there were a few rectangular holes on the tight black leather-latex pants she wore that were aligned horizontally. Combine that with her black Motorcycle Biker Slouch Double Buckle Mid Calf flat boots (that had a top that was mid-way in reaching her knee), she was the classic biker chick.

That impression alone with her outfit, and her seemingly being in a hypnotic state of being with possibly speculating about things going on in her life that she probably felt she didn't have control over only added on to my curiosity for her. We continue walking in a moderately fast pace of walking, and whatever our destination ended up being, all I could recall for this moment while walking with her is blurry batches of green, gray, red, blue, violet, and a small streaks of yellow.

I believe the DeadDollKity dream character informed me that we're going to the gym to workout together, but with the clothes she was wearing, and what I was wearing, it felt kind of odd going to the gym. What I wore exactly is hard to recall, at most, I was probably having a similar vibe with the persona she had as this biker chick. I remember wearing a black shirt, black belt, and a black dress pants that had smooth creases along with black lace less shoes most likely, or just regular black biker men boots.

So maybe based from the clothes we were wearing, we came off a motorcycle or something, seeing how we found ourselves still moving reasonably fast as we're walking. The sensation was like this, you know how you walk or run on a treadmill for a good bit, and then when you come off and go on a different surface, you notice your mind still has the predisposition that you're still engaged with using the treadmill? That your legs are still slightly vibrating and you feel the very same ground you're now on moving a bit?



Of course, I'm not trying to make mind vs. body with skewed dualism, but hopefully you'll get the idea of how it felt. Also, another thing that I noticed with the DeadDollKitty dream character is how she had her whole left arm down vertically while she uses her right arm to make an L-shape across her stomach to hold onto the elbow of her left arm. It didn't come as a realization in the dream, but maybe she was hurt in some way, seeing how with her fast pace of walking, she probably wanted to find help right away.

The dream shifts, or my dream recall of what happened before we reached our destination occurs. We're now in a building that is pretty interesting in its composition. It seems that it's always changing, or maybe it's due to my growing awareness of the surroundings that makes it interesting.

DeadDollKitty had a completely different vibe to her, her countenance was alluring, it was impossible for me NOT to gravitate towards her visage frequently as I tried to socialize a bit with the dream characters within the building. I ended up making smooth by quick jerks to gaze at her visage a bit more while being occupied and confused on what to do next in this building.

I expected that we were going to work out, but that didn't seem to be the case. What was now a dark environment within a building was now filled with lighting and the realism of the dream was augmenting, but it still left that subtle hint that this all was a fantasy.

I could say that I was lucid in this dream, but it's one of those dreams where you don't even care about your level of lucidity, you just let it happen. You just let yourself become confused by the dream logic, of how the very same girl I was walking with that had this persona of feeling rushed, desperate to find support to heal her presumably injured arm into someone who comes down-to-earth, relaxed, and care-free.

The dream characters started to come together, and I had a sense that we would all end up eating together. I noticed long tables facing horizontally in my direction (as you're looking into the screen), and I can hear a few food carts rolling in. I get an automatic thought that it was going to be dessert coming in, but that could be DeadDollKitty along with the random set of dream character's chattering in the background of looking forward to eating cake.

For a moment, I found myself in a trance just like DeadDollKitty was when we were walking towards this destination. I found myself easily embracing my confusion and how I unconsciously built predispositions to prepare myself of being gregarious with the dream characters.

You know how we tend to have less conscious critical awareness of our actions and let them ebb and flow? And how we tend to be more suggestive and in agreement with others once we eased ourselves in their perception of looking at us? It's almost as if that despite of the fact that I was only fixated on DeadDollKitty's existence in the dream, even with my peripheral vision, the dream characters surrounding me had an augmenting aura of trying to reach out to me.

Because of this, because I can feel how they're naturally kind and sociable to me, my body becomes loose, I noticed my muscles becoming loose, my whole posture in general was relaxed and prepared to just get into the experience. I think I recall an elderly female touching my shoulder. Just one touch and I started to expand my 360 vision within the dream and noticed she had glasses on and a slightly buzzed short hair style.

The type where the ends are curly, loose, and in all directions. Her visage had small variations of creases, but they weren't that bothering to see. Her outfit in general consisted of a slightly diluted swamp green mixed with brown colored dress jacket and dress pants. I believe she wore a dark red shirt as well, and her skin tone was surprisingly full of life with its apricot-like hue.

I believe her touching my right shoulder was for me to unconsciously receive that as a cue to feel free to find a seat. So as I find myself realizing my conscious critical awareness in this dream, and the lucidity that naturally finds its way into my schema of this dream, I paused for a moment and looked around and everything seems to been made in a nice and fit package of just one of many things I think anyone would want in a dream.

Unconditional love.

And I started embracing the unconditional love and genuine nature of the dream characters that were enjoying each others' company and my company as well. They welcomed me with open arms, but they didn't need to express that directly. Their body language, their tonalities, the aura they gave out of having something within them forming into some kind of phantom hand pouring out its positivity and slowly trickling its fingers on my body.

I decided to take a random seat, and realized I'm not sitting near DeadDollKitty, the same person I was so attached to just a few moments ago was now considered someone equal to me. Her visage, her beauty, her youthful composition was just as equal as the elderly woman that touched my shoulder a few moments ago as well. But I still paid more attention to DeadDollKitty, mostly because I still held my attraction of her just a bit more.

I noticed for a fleeting moment, a moment that intensified as my awareness augmented, she was exhuming more confidence towards me. Her visage was flirting at me, practically just waiting for me as she folds her arms and raises her eyebrow at me in curiosity. It's almost as if this time, she's probably wondering what was on my mind just like I had the same curiosity before when she was talking in hypnotic gesture.

She's wearing a white sweater, only making myself having more presumptions of how she's sustaining her down-to-earth demeanor towards me and everyone else in the dream. For that moment, we both had the type of sentience and sapience where all that really matters was that we were going through this mental dance of teasing each other by distracting our awareness of ourselves with the other dream characters, and them coming back to just us paying attention to our awareness again.

I wanted to get closer to her, but our distance didn't really matter, I already felt her aura surrounding me even when she's just there patiently waiting for me to make a move to sit next to her. For a moment, the dream characters were seemingly non-existent, and her existence continued to become more lively. I started to look into her eyes a bit more, couldn't make a good distinction of the color, but I'm presuming it's between hazel, brown, or just pure green. I guess when her more saturated colored brown hair, green eyes would be more appealing to make her brighter.

Her cheeks were defined on the outer regions of her face, it was weird, it was fluctuating between being defined and not as apparent to me. You know how in video games where if you're close up to a character, you can see the sharpness of their whole body composition while the people in the background are literally just blobs and blurs? And this isn't just talking about our peripheral vision, it's when the developers create this system to imply peripheral vision for the character in the game viewing this.

It was exactly like that. My perception became a narrow tunnel, and I noticed my breathing is fluctuating as well. Mixing in with short breaths of lust over her figure and longer breathes that wanted to ease my libido. Breathing in lust, breathing out intentions of only seeing her as a friend in the dream. Imagine for a moment that in order to conceptualize what I just experienced looking at her, you know how when you're meditating, when you have that sense of silence after all those distracting thoughts become less intimidating for you?

When you get into a hypnotic state, or a trance of embracing the silence more? Where you start thinking unconsciously, and you're actually being aware of yourself thinking unconsciously? Where your primal instincts that you usually leave not being as developed as our more refined judgment now takes cover completely? Where we're this close from becoming animals wanting to fuck each other brains out, but then something within us restricts us from doing so?

I started becoming the unconscious, I started diving myself into this ocean where I let my unconscious govern everything that's happening to me. Almost salivating from her figure but closing my mouth to gulp it all down. And she knows this is happening, she continues smiling at me because of it, she keeps her position, as if she suddenly was like a person that models themselves so people can draw them in an art studio.

Then it became too much for me and I eventually came back to being consciously aware of the environment around me again. The dream characters that were blobs and blurs to me are now back again to their sharpness. DeadDollKity is still there, but with my 360 vision, she's not going to become a blur to me because I don't want her to be.

Sadly, this is the point where the dream recall goes down to crap again.

Losing my awareness, and not really caring that I did, the dream shifted into a completely different setting that now had a Point A to Point B to it. And it was because my emotions were the driving force in making things linear now. I'm completely out of the building where me and DeadDollKitty were looking at each other. She didn't exist anymore, the dream characters didn't exist anymore, it's just me again.

Then I started to get unconscious responses that the same DeadDollKitty character wanted to do a shoulder workout with me in the gym. I found my unconscious creating another model of her, only this time in a white sports tank top and very short blue shorts. She starts stretching her arms out, and it's just too much for me. As she's stretching, it's as if I'm purposefully finding my unconscious focusing on her breasts popping out more. Then she starts stretching her legs.


I shake my head, and she continues to say that we should meet at the gym again. Things started to become in-cohesive, and as I'm LITERALLY letting my emotions control my actions, I go into a "hands-off" approach to let things happen. I arrive at my destination, but it's clearly not a gym. More like going into an abandoned shed with a yellow light lamp above me conveniently (sarcasm) placed in front of me while the darkness is so apparent that something bad is going to happen.

And I knew something bad was going to happen, but again, I'm in a "hand-off" control in this dream. I noticed I was taking form of a female, one that resembles Ada, specifically the Resident Evil 4 version of her. I possessed her body for a moment with ease, and as I'm doing this, I can feel those tingly sensations and vibrations as I mold my consciousness into her form.

It was as like a stinging sensation, but it was completely pleasant to experience. I go back into caring less about the lucidity and seeing what Ada would do in this situation. I was in her body (of course I know it's an implication), and she quickly dodges some elderly man that was trying to stab her in the chest. He's wearing skin tight blue gloves, is bald, wearing circular glasses, and just suddenly became the enemy of this dream. He was in the process of wearing a blue grim reaper mask as he tries to stab Ada.

There were many moments where Ada was going to die, very, very, very close moments where just an inch off with the reflexes, and good bye to her dream body (unless I wanted to just bring it back to life). The old man becomes more irritated with her just moving too fast for him, and from there, I can't remember much after that.

The only thing that comes to mind as I'm fading away from the dream is seeing the back of Ada's body.

06.07.2013

Brushing My Teeth (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

So after the dream above, I woke up, had a false awakening basically. I was so into the thought of posting the dream eventually, and everything looked real to me. The sink, the toothbrush, everything, and then I think I went back to sleep.

Lol, missed a chance for lucidity, but oh well.

_________________________

I was in a grassy meadow about 30 by 50 meters, surrounded by a low cobblestone wall. Beyond the north wall was a road and then terraced houses. beyond the other walls were trees. I was there with a few girls, and my dad had supposedly dropped us off there. Before he left, he told us that ghosts lived in the meadow. We made our way to a small corrugated shed, and went inside to sleep for the night as it was rapidly becoming dark. The three girls were talking to each other about the ghosts, reassuring each other that there were none. I said goodnight to them, and headed off to my own shed. I climbed in and shut the door. Inside the walls were oak panelling. A small bed was in the room too, into which I climbed and fell asleep.

I was now viewing a different place and couldn't feel my body. The room was startlingly vivid, particularly for a non lucid dream. It appeared to be an old Victorian manor, with dark wooden floors and various antique furniture. Everything was covered in a thin film of dust. The room was dimly illuminated despite the window being closed by a thick curtain. I then floated out into a hallway, where a woman resembling queen Victoria ran in a huge dress shouting "Begone foul spirits". As I watched, the spirits in question chased her and knocked her down. They didn't seem to be malicious, appearing as ghosts from luigi's mansion.

I then woke up.

Date: 26/06/2012
Place: My own bed (for a change!)
Time of getting into bed: 11pm
Glass of apple juice in the day.

Dream 1 - non lucid

We are at a music festival or music event. There are lots of bands and different stalls etc. We go into a small, dark, dingy shed. (We being me, and friend I and friend R) We are just chilling / talking in here. I know of a group of people just outside, and I know that they are not friendly. One of them comes in to retrieve a bag he left inside here, which is like a holdall type bag. He tells us there is a human skull inside, and we just say 'ok' because we don't want any trouble. The group are young, hooligan type kids (god I sound old) who have guns. The young guy gets offensive and pulls out his gun, but my friend I takes it off him. There is no struggle, more like a nervous tension. I plays with the gun, asks the kid some questions while the kid answers them. I then aims the gun jokingly, and 'accidentally' shoots the kid several times. Although he is not hurt, they shots are close and nearly hit him every time, so the kid takes the gun back. Now he has it back, the kid dos the same; talks about the gun and aims it at people. I panic, assuming he will end up shooting someone. He shoots at me, and I get scared but he tells me not to be scared, and that my jumper is too baggy, and will catch the shots before they get to me. Amazingly he's right.

[Dream 2 - Lucid dream

I woke and wrote my previous dream (see above) I needed a pee so I went to the toilet and came back. As I lay down, I attempted to WILD. I was very hot and had to stop to remove covers then continue. (I always get hot when I WILD?) I start 'feeling' a dream, talking with friends, playing with my friends cat. To keep myself aware, I start 'rubbing' my friend's sofa that I am sat on while this dream forms. (Dream sofa, I am really in bed) However the dream is not solid yet. Suddenly, I am in a fully fledged dream and don't know how I got here! However I am fully lucid. Unlike my last lucid, I do not panic and I stay calm. But I think this is due to a lower level of awareness. So I'm walking with my partner (let's call him 'N') down the road, I fear there was more to the beginning of this lucid but alas, I have forgotten. I am telling N that I am dreaming. He doesn't believe me, but does ask me some questions to test me. I tell him let's get a train, so take him to the train station. As we walk there, I am amazed by the details my mind has come up with. The scenery etc. We get on the train and I see a pigeon close by, I try to touch it but it flies away. However I'm not bothered as I'm happy I am dreaming, so we hop on the train. As I walk by a DC, I stroke his face to feel the stubble on his face, he stares at me but doesn't seem to mind. We get off the train again, and I'm not sure where we have got off. I ask N if he believes me yet, he says no, but does seem to be thinking hard about it, like I am beginning to convince him. We have to go through a check-point before we can leave the train station (like guards on a gate) and as we approach I get horny. I get out my junk with the intent to present it to a DC when we arrive at the gate. N notices and asks me what I am doing. I suddenly realize I don't want to upset N, even if it is the DC version. So I put it away and pretend I wasn't doing anything. However N is very persistant, grabbing me and challenging me. I get a bit frustrated and suddenly N is as well. I fear he may become angry and ruin the dream, but I remember what I read on DV about making DCs do what you want, so I think of the most plausible thing I can and say 'N, aren't you supposed to be at the post office today? It shuts in like 5 minutes you better hurry!' N works for the PO. He suddenly realizes and rushes off, leaving me alone. I decide I am no longer horny after that charade, and progress through the gates into this new, unknown place. When entering this place (must have been a building, but I don't remember doors of any kind) I was almost speechless about how AMAZING it looked. Not necessarily real, but just very detailed, and beautiful. It was along the lines of a train station, mixed with a shopping centre, and maybe a pub or nightclub element to it too. I saw so much in here, simple wandering round that I have probably forgotten much of it. First of all, there were lights and displays. I think it was evening-ish time so these lights looked BEAUTIFUL, I really stared at them, noticing they were made of little lights, with a yellow glow. Reminded me a bit of Xmas lights. I was smiling madly, thinking 'this dream is awesome.' I then walked off, found some women searching in a fridge for their dinner while they were on a break. I searched for a little bit but then walked off. I was at a bit of a loss of what to actually do. I didn't even think of flying (dur) and even though I knew I was dreaming, I didn't do anything crazy or mind-blowing! I suddenly remembered the task of the month. I knew it involved walking through a mirror. I turned around, expecting to find a mirror, and taadaa! A lovely mirror. It was a bit high for me (I'm a shortarse) so I pulled myself up to it, and just stuck my head through boldly. At first I thought of a beautiful park scene, and thought 'don't think of that, cos then that's what you'll see!' however it wasn't, what I did see, was SPACE. Like, our universe, just black, and filled with stars and I could even make out the milky way. It was BIG. There were brightly coloured parrots flying through space, just casually flying around, in all directions, kind of slow. The vastness of the space scared me however, and I decided there was no way I was climbing in there! So I pulled my head out. It was hard to get out, like I would somehow fall in, and for a minute I was stuck, but a very nice young DC, who had black hair and a friendly smile pulled me out. I thanked her and told her the mirror was 'all hers.' So she climbed up and stuck her head in too!
I walked off again, repeating over and over that I would remember the mirror for the TOTM, determined not to forget. I followed rooms in this building, not going in them but reading the signs above the doors, observing the DCs going on with their lives. I came across a large photo booth (the type you get passport photos printed instantly on) but it was 4 or 5 times bigger. I went inside, and realized you were supposed to sit on the tacky-looking plastic sofa (it was an old, battered machine) and put money in, then a person would have a conversation with you about anything you liked. I found this silly and walked out, the thought crossed my mind that if I pulled the curtains, I could have some 'adult fun' in this booth. But I decided against it, not wanting to end the dream early. I walked up some stairs, running my hands along the metal pole at the sides, and finding it very metal-like. I found a room which I spent some time reading the sign above it, but have now forgotten what it said. A young guy walked past, and I got horny again. Figuring I'd just go for it, I walked up and asked him if he fancied some fun. He ignored me, but clearly wasn't interested. He wasn't even that good looking, but for some reason I persisted, taking his hand and placing it down my pants. He was clearly uncomfortable with this, and gave me a terrible look which made me question my morals. However I knew I was dreaming, so kept telling myself he wasn't really upset and it was just my mind telling me its not nice to do things like this to strangers! However the guys dad suddenly appeared, concerned where his son was. His dad looked mad so I left! While walking away, I thought 'hey, I haven't had to stabilize this dream once!' So I rubbed my hands together to practice, and the whole place lit up, and became a bit clearer. However this faded again as soon as I stopped rubbing my hands. I already thought everything was clear, but now it had been clearer and gone back again it seemed a little unclear. (If that makes sense) I shouted stabilize! But my dream began to fade, I shouted it again, this time with NOW on the end, and summoning up as much confidence and courage as I could. The dream came back. I had a few more seconds of walking around, then blackness began to set in. I tried spinning, but I couldn't do it, it was really hard! I couldn't even get close, I tried rubbing my hands again, and this was better, but in the end I just gave up, and let myself wake up. I figured it was the end.

When awaking, I could have gone straight back into a dream again, I didn't move or open my eyes. However I wanted to write in my DJ, I didn't want to lose the dream! So I got up. Although this dream was clearly lucid, it didn't feel as real as the first time I had a lucid dream. I think this is why I was a lot more in control, because it wasn't so shockingly life-like. Don't get me wrong, it was pretty amazing. I feel annoyed that I didn't do more, and super annoyed that I let my penis get in the way of a decent dream.

Dream 3 - Non Lucid dream

My cousin 'C' has come to stay fr a few days. I got on well with him (he annoys me in RL) and we had lots of people who were crowding round to see / meet us, like we were famous or something. More him then me. We were talking about going to a music concert while he was here, I told him Linkin Park were playing, but he wanted to see Rhianna. I thought 'he used to have decent taste in music...'. There was some sort of parade going by, with lots of drunk people watching and celebrating. I have a fish tank with lots of shrimp but no fish. I complain about this and someone tells me to draw some fish, put them inside and they will come to life. I start doing this, but my cousin distracts me, as do our fans who keep watching us / asking us questions.


***NOTEWORTHY***
LUCID DREAM!!!
WBTB / WILD
TASK OF THE MONTH?
Festivals / concerts YET AGAIN - DS
Cousin hasn't visited for a while

i'm in some... magical amaizing shed,... i'm looking out the window, when three gnomes run by, i question reality, i'm now semi lucid, i back off from the window, my dream character brother comes in and says "stio, i think your dreaming" . a fairy pops up, it's at the window, i look at it, and it waves, it had a bit of a .... hedgehog, or.. dog.. like character.

My father, mother, my brother Ryan, and myself are in this dream. We all look as we did approximately 15 years ago. I cannot remember the beginning of the dream but at some point we are in a one room shed-like building. The walls and roof are made of white aluminum and the ground is cold, hard dirt. There is no heat, and we are all dressed in heavy winter clothing. There is one door, no windows, and enough room for a large queen sized bed, a fridge, a cupboard and a small table for eating. My family and I are in this place because there is a snow storm outside and we are essentially trapped until it is over.

The bed has heavy, white arctic blankets on it, and my parents and Ryan spend most of their time underneath the covers trying to keep warm. Because there is no room for me, I am either at the foot of the bed or on the floor, with no blanket of my own. (I am usually on the floor because my brother Ryan literally kicks me off when my parents are asleep). I feel very cold throughout the entire dream, especially when I am on trying to sleep on the floor because a biting wind can be felt coming in from the gap underneath the door.

When the storm ends my parents start showing me where the provisions are. There seems to be too much of everything and the cupboard and fridge are overloaded with foodstuff. My parents then inform me that they and my brother are leaving and I am going to have to take care of myself while they are gone. My father opens the cupboard and shows me many bags of milk and says that they do not need refridgeration because it is so cold anyway that they will not go bad. There is a red box filled with Fruit Loops cereal and my mom says something about getting a discount on them. My parents and brother leave and I am left cold and alone, with no idea where they are going or when they are coming back.

Morning of October 11, 1968. Friday.



Summary of meaning: In subliminal anticipation of the need to get up for school, my mind renders my mother (as parallel symbolism with my own inevitable emergent consciousness precursor) as a prehistoric amphibious creature and, with the aid of four older males, to be held on an island by building a shed (liminal space) around her. When she wakes, the shed explodes outwardly, as I am leaving the island (dream exit symbolism).

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A team of four unknown men, dressed as if on a safari (recurring dream character mode), probably in their thirties, seemingly with my help (even though I am only seven years old), trap an Eryops that had fallen asleep on a deserted isolated island (possibly near Florida or within the state of Florida in a very large lake as I do notice some palmettos) by somehow building a wooden shed around it while it is sleeping, yet the hammering apparently does not disturb its sleep at any point which is of course illogical. There is a very vague consideration that it may dig its way out as it is somewhat toad-like and toads do dig. However, when it eventually wakes up as we are preparing to leave the island, it is easily able to smash through with only a couple movements of its body and tail. I see boards flying out from the outer walls of the small building and feel a sense of awe and imminent danger. I watch the men leaving quickly in a rowboat (though I am not yet in it, though I seemingly soon teleport to it) as the creature is escaping but is not a direct threat as it remains where it is. It is facing the shore but facing to the right in my viewpoint. There is a sense of awe and unpleasant surprise but I have never classified this as a nightmare as I seem to only be observing this last scene without being directly present, becoming incorporeal at the waking point. (It was fairly common in my childhood dreams to become incorporeal in the final moments in eluding a possible threat, and as such, actual nightmares have been extremely rare throughout my life.)

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• This event of the prehistoric creature waking up as I am waking up (and it was my last dream of the morning prior to getting up) primarily renders the event as a very obvious waking metaphor, about as obvious as a basic dream meaning can be. Subliminally trying to prevent myself from waking (by preventing the creature from waking and escaping) did not work in this case, as biology is stronger than subliminal conscious will.
• Last update on Sunday, 30 October 2016. I had not considered that the shed in this dream might be associated with a doghouse. I learned that I had read a Marmaduke panel on October 6, 1968 which featured the dog “digging a storm cellar” under his doghouse. Additionally, building a shed around the sleeping creature seems a possible analogy to building a doghouse in hopes to tame a beast. A year previously, when I lived at 611 North Monroe Street, I had been yelled at by an unknown man who told me to stay away from his puppy (who was always resting in his doghouse when I visited him near my own open yard). This upset me (especially as I had never seen him before even though he lived in the apartments on the other side of our yard).

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