non-lucid

I went to the top of the World Trade Center, I think it was one of the old ones, and it was over 700 floors to the top. I stood at the edge and was ready to jump off when security came. I ran and somehow got away from them. I hopped on the elevator and took it to a random floor(176). I noticed there were security cameras in the elevators so they would know what floor I was going to. When I got off, I climbed some stairs and then tried to find a place to hide. This went on for awhile. Eventually, I went to the first floor. You had to walk through security in order to leave the building. I walked through the metal detector but the pocket knife in my purse set it off and security found me. I somehow escaped and went to hide again. It was a long dream of riding elevators and hiding from police. At one point, I met a woman(I was now a man) and she stayed with me for months as we hid together. I got her pregnant. Some time, the police were right behind us so I said, "follow me!" and ran up a few stairs and through a door that had small walkways with a huge drop on either side. We hid there but a policewoman spotted my.. uh.. girlfriend and she finally left. I was all alone. I think at one point I might have actually jumped off the building but ended up back in it.

I was wandering a city at a dusk. It was empty - no people, no cars - just buildings and trees. It was warm, there was a beautiful glow on everything. I jogged through the park and got close to some flats. I felt that there was some kind of danger waiting for me, so I took a different route, and ran back to the streets. I caught a bus and entered it. There was a pretty woman inside - she had dark, arms-lenght hair and was wearing a purple blouse and green jeans trousers. I sat close to her, we talked for a while and then we had sex. In the end she said "It was a witch that forced you to do this!". I left the bus at next stop, and jogged for a while.

I'm floating in a spaceship. I'm amazed that I made it to space, I feel amazing. I remember a dream I had where I was in space before (!) and reflect that at least now it's real. I float through the craft.

Back on Earth, I'm in a machine shop. I see people I know, I take off my space suit and the helmet. The helmet's air filter is full of gold dust. I screw it off it's like a gas mask filter. I take out the compacted dust, it's solid now and looks like the blade for a milling machine. I think of a way of processing it to make something valuable.

I go to a bomb shelter type of area. Through a big, thick door I get to a machine or a strongbox I'm supposed to fix. A shady looking guy pushes me to the side and says he's going to take whatever is in it and I better stay quiet about it. I slowly try to walk away and I close the door behind me, leaving him trapped inside. I get the impression that I tricked him. I go back to the hall and tell the people inside about the thief. Some time has passed and I think he's been in there for a long time without any water or food. When someone finally looks into the space I'm told he is so dehydrated that holes have formed in his tongue and he is in bad shape.

SC1) 02:08
I had a hard time falling asleep last night, couldn't get my brain to stop stressing out.
I'm in my house and I wake up, I think I then start doing some training to fight some boxer (I think there was a boxing ring maybe?). The whole thing feels really symbolic, maybe a result of watching motivational videos.

SC2) 03:32
I'm homeless and I'm by the river that runs next to my old university. It's night time and the building nearby is the hospital (in reality it isn't). I'm trying to eat some food, I seem really down on my luck and it seems like there's some youths talking shit about us homeless people. There's another homeless guy who talked to me (he was in his 40s or 50s) and I though he looked quite dirty. I'm not very polite to him, and seem to just try to shoo him away or something. I cross the road to be next to the hospital and sit on a bench near the back entrance (I seem to be at the back of the hospital). I'm just chilling eating my food, in front of me is my skate board lying on the ground (I don't skate in RL). It seems like the youths called the cops and they're trying to get them to take me away for 'loitering'. Damn dude I'm just sitting and eating my food... As the cops talk to the youths and start getting convinced to take me away, the older hobo steps up. It's really inspiring what he says, at the end he said something like "the mans just trying to eat his meal, he ain't go nothing else! You can take me but you can't take him!". I'm overwhelmed by it, why is he being nice to me after I was so rude to him? I start crying in the moment as his words touch me, tears roll freely down my face. The guy walks over and comforts me, he understands my pain and what it means to be alone. The police aren't going to hassle us, even the youths walk away.

The professor assigned an assignment where the entire third floor of the building was set up as a hospital of people with fake injuries and the students in the class had to practice doing procedures on the patients. I accidentally wandered up to the third floor before it was time to do the assignment but it was more like a haunted house setup with scary characters. I saw something scary and turned the other way to go back to the second floor and then noticed that there were a lot of people lying under sheets that I hadn't noticed before.

I went to buy tickets for a small concert on campus. My car was parked somewhere else kind of far away where it wasn't supposed to be parked so I thought about spending the 2 or 3 hours before the concert started walking to my car to drive it to a parking lot closer to the auditorium. But instead I just decided to go into the auditorium and wait for the concert to start because I didn't know if I would actually have enough time to get my car back before the concert started and I didn't want to miss the first part.

In the auditorium there were other people already seated for the concert and there was a pre-show that was audience volunteers doing things on the stage. I saw a pool in the middle of the stage with kayaks in it so I volunteered because I thought I would get to kayak. But when I volunteered, the person started explaining a game that me and the other volunteers were going to play. First we had to lift some weights. Then we had to retrieve an item from a bag of other items. Then people started bringing out a table and explaining more game rules and it was getting complicated and I didn't know if I could do it all.

And I just remembered that somewhere in between the other dreams my cell phone was malfunctioning like it had been cut off of the cell network or something and I had to put in a password to get into it but I didn't have a password for it. Then it eventually started working and I was using it like an mp3 player to listen to music. But it stopped working again.

First dream

I was in school. The building was a strange mix of my previous and current schools, twisted and distorted. I was in main hall. There were two pillars, and two benches. There was my teacher - a blonde in early fifties, sitting on a bench and calling someone. I immediately felt that there was something wrong, and tried to avoid her. I wanted to go away, and then another teacher asked me where I am going. I told that I need to go somewhere, and it's really important. Then I run around the classrooms, being followed by the teacher. I decided to enter a storage room. There was a window, I tried to see if the teacher is still following me, and I saw some soldiers coming. I used another window and escaped the school.

Second dream

End of school was slowly coming. It was warm, summer day. I was waiting for a bus, but there were none. I decided to go on foot, or catch a car. On the way I met some of previous classmates, they were playing volleyball in the middle of a street. The city have changed - there were more shops, higher traffic, more plant-life all around, and a highway through the city. I stopped on a bus stop, but none appeared.

For whatever reason my dreams last night were a little more normal (and less uneventful), plus there were a ton of them. idk tho let's see what I remember

Oh right, also for some reason last night I had this sense that I could picture things in my head very, very clearly. Sharp shapes and contrast and vivid colors, when normally my visualization feels like it's got a thick layer of film grain overtop it. It felt very... refreshing. Not sure what triggers it.

Dreeaaaammmm
So, there was something before this that I can't recall, but at any rate, whatever was going on before got suddenly replaced by me being a ninja in some well-populated castle, and climbing all over the walls trying not to get caught. I had cool abilities that made me super agile, which was fun. This kinda went on for longer than I'm making it sound, but heck I can't reMEMber what HAPpened.

Anyway in the end some magic dude or chick caught me, chained my arms, and then blew out a corner of the room. Beyond was empty air and clouds, so it turned out it was some kinda floating castle in the sky. Then whoever it was looped my chains over a broken part of the corner so I had to sit there like, right on the edge, though at that point it was third person so I didn't get the full "oh boy I'm right at the edge" experience.

THEN I dreamed that my family and a buncha other people were refugees migrating to a more modern culture, and to be allowed to settle there we had to beat 'em in a dance competition. Or maybe it was just a jumping competition. We took some time preparing and then when I was up it was versus this kid who like, did this awesome hip-hop dance that I really couldn't compete with... and then, when it was my turn, I just jumped in the air a few times. But I was having a great time. But yeah I don't think it helped us win the competition.

And THEN. UGH. I could feel one of my lower teeth getting loose. And my dad was like yeah, all your lower teeth are baby teeth, so they're gonna fall out. I'm like SRSLY?? Because IWL and in this dream, I have a permanent retainer on my lower front teeth. So then this loose tooth just kept getting looser until it was gonna fall out, except it couldn't because of the retainer, and I'm like toying with it with my tongue and it just didn't feel good. At all.

Lastly I dreamed I was bein' attacked by this rude nerd who had a buncha rubber bands. And I was holding a baby so I couldn't go on the attack, I had to stay curled up protecting this baby from this madman's continuous rubber band storm. They kinda stung, too. I tried shooting a couple back (not sure how I did that while still holding the baby), and I remember that there were quite a few piled near me that he'd shot at me, some wide and flat and some pretty thin. One of the thin ones was broken, and they were all kinda old.

Then Morty from Rick and Morty showed up and beat the guy up in this crazy aggressive way. He was wearing gray pants and yelled something like, "I LOVE IT WHEN THERE'S A GRAY AREA" like, y'know, when crazy violence got totally justifiable. The rubber band guy seemed to be starting to get up, and I just landed on him from above butt-first, tryna crush him, except it didn't really work 'cause I was too light. And then Morty joined the fray and the three of us became this flailing ball of limbs that, from third-person, looked totally hilarious.

Then I think I woke up.

19/12/15
Wake up after 3.5 hours.
Dream 1: I was at a medieval town with a bunch of other people, some I knew from school and others I didn't. I believe we were receiving our atar rankings, and some people were talking about atar thieves. I got mine, then all of a sudden a few people started trying to steal it. I started fighting back, but then a few of the strangers from earlier came and protected me and my atar.

Dream 2: Following the vein of the first dream, I was with some friends at school complaining about year 12. Despite this we ended up volunteering at a stall in the school, selling some sort of food for raising money.

Back to sleep, next wake up another 3.5 hours.
Dream 3: I was playing basketball at a nice, large and sunny court. We travelled there in a car for a bit, then got out and started playing. We were going alright in the first half, but in the second half it started going downhill and we ended up losing. While that was disappointing, after the game I saw a bunch of people from the year above me playing so I hung out with them for a while.

Dream 4: I was on a small island, surrounded by ocean as far as the eye could see. The only other thing on the island besides me and sand was a small boat, a dinghy really. I pushed it out of the bank, hopped in and grabbed the only oar. I started slowly rowing in the direction I hoped was the shore. I was rowing for a while when a girl materialized out of nowhere, shocking me and causing me to fall out of the boat. By the time I recovered she was already rowing the boat away, leaving me treading water. Luckily I had rowed enough so I could see the dark blur of land far in the distance. So, I began to swim towards it. It seemed like hours passed, with me almost ready to give up, before I finally made it to the shallows before collapsing and being helped onto the beach by other people.

Dream 5: Prince William, Kate and co. were on a pier, playing with some dolphins I think and having a nice photo opppurtunity. They were doing this because the royals were in some pr trouble with prince Phillip saying some horribly racist thing a few days prior.

Morning of December 19, 2015. Saturday.



In my very vivid dream, my family and I are back living on Barolin Street (the large house no longer there in reality, having been moved). It seems to be late at night and I am on our front porch with a young version of my brother Earl (deceased) and his last wife Cindy. I am nearest the front entrance, Cindy being to my right, and Earl being to her right. We are all seated on small kitchen chairs. My brother and his wife are facing an electronics setup though I am more to the side of it, what is seemingly a cassette deck to record their conversation and possibly singing. This cassette deck is sitting on a larger feature, which is some sort of computer. There is also apparently a radio. (This is probably associated with a recording which Earl and his first wife Beverly created at North Monroe Street in 1967 with a guitarist of the region, Don Keys, including their singing and his own double-tracked guitar parts on reel-to-reel, which was transferred to cassette copies.) This is where I had a setup in real life prior to our moving, though not exactly as in my dream.

Over time, the face of the vertical-load cassette deck seems detached and loose and is out by about half an inch. I also notice that the front of the computer tower is slightly protruding with a gap. Eventually, I feel a bit of heat and smoke begins to come out.

There is a temporary strange shifting of the situation, like an offset dream within a dream but oddly just as vivid (without a seeming consciousness shift, which is atypical of dreams within dreams). I am then on the far right of the setup and my oldest son, seeming only about twelve years old again, is to my left. I am telling him that he should sit back from the smoke as the smoke seems possibly toxic if too much is breathed in, though at this point, it seems a “normal” part of the recording process and to be expected of the electronic equipment (even though in the main scenario it is not considered as such at all).

Then, I am shifted back into the previous scenario again, exactly the same as it was. I do not really pay any notice to my having shifted into the offset dream but continue trying to work out what is going on with the equipment. The smoke is not that thick but seems to annoy my brother and his wife and becomes more problematic. It mostly drifts northward through our porch.

My brother Earl shows me his wife’s bracelet, which had been sitting atop the cassette deck. “Look,” he says to me, “it’s melted”. He seems slightly annoyed but not angry. His wife Cindy looks on without emotion.

I then notice that my black wallet (of synthetic plastic) had also been atop the cassette deck and has partly melted. It has even come apart into two sections, all of the contents having been singed. I am only slightly concerned. I am not sure if we will continue to work in a session regarding what we had been doing (recording from the radio or Earl singing with his wife).

---

Because a cassette deck has two cylindrical rotating features (and especially being a machine), it is obvious now that it is a subtle metaphorical form of the Merkaba. Frankly, I cannot imagine how I have missed this all this time - talk about being “slow”. (In fact, this setting reflects when I experienced it the strongest when wide awake, complete with the intense cilia-like imagery. This also means that I will be able to get additional clues out of a number of past dreams that I had not fully decoded yet.)

The cassette deck being the (partnered) Merkaba is even more obvious with the additional elements which validate this likelihood. Firstly, the melted bracelet is that which symbolizes lack of bondage to something mundanely habitual; in other words, it augments spiritual freedom (or not being “chained” by society’s limited understanding and unrewarding material pursuits). (A melted bracelet equates a removed handcuff.) Secondly, the melted wallet means dynamic spiritual freedom in another way, in the sense of the melted identification card - that is, losing static and mundane associations with any previous presumed identity - or being free of non-dynamic restrictions caused by being “labelled” by either government or consensus or even a particular individual.

---

In another way, it could also be a reminder of the ephemerality of the Merkaba. (Certainly, something melting does not always have this association. For example, I have two well-documented dreams of melted bicycles, both having been preceded by having a small amount of alcohol in real life. It is clear to me that, as a bicycle represents both cellular processes and the ability to define travel through “narrower paths” - as well as yet another form of the partnered Merkaba evidenced by the two rotating wheels - that alcohol interferes with cellular processes - “melting” or killing brain cells - and interferes with intended steering or desired direction as well as spiritual relationships.)

Smoke often represents real-time communications with consensus consciousness and (potential) changes of thinking in the dreamer (or the “burning” or dissolving of previous ideas or circumstances). In this case, aspects may be “toxic” because of the limiting nature of some levels of collective consciousness; that is, people who refuse to move on by holding labels over a person or circumstance; they are mentally “stuck” on one time period (or fixed memory) and one illusory facade without the ability to understand transience or natural change, as even rocks are transitory.

Why was my brother Earl rendered in this situation? Since childhood, I always referred to him as the “doubting Thomas” of my family, so at one level, he is the “skeptic” within my consciousness.

Some people have the idea that “being free of restraint” (melted bracelet) and “losing invariable identification” (melted wallet) can only be of negative implications, when that depends on the circumstances. My experiences with the Merkaba tell me that something outside of myself is needed to balance my place in the universe (in other words, my soulmate). My wife Zsuzsanna and I had also made cassettes of our singing together, mostly when we lived on Gellibrand Street in Clayfield. There are sometimes many layers to consider in a particular dream, depending on its type. This one seems to have more actual meaning than usual (though not just because it was vivid and non-lucid).

---

NON-DREAM
DREAM
LUCID
FALSE AWAKENING
NIGHTMARE
FRAGMENT
(Unconnected dreams indicated by a *. Connected dreams indicated by a •. )

Whew! Finally got to recalling my nighttime dreams after three days of nothing!

* A man and his kids are at this big indoor pool with many diving boards. The kids jump off the diving boards, then the dad. The dad nearly grazes the edge of the pool and creates some kind of fuzz that the kids think is gross. They are filming all this for a YouTube video titled "iPad Snow".

* There is a big parade in a large city. The parade is grayscale, but the balloons are in color. I see myself from a distance in third person view, sneaking onto one of the floats.

* Milhouse (from The Simpsons) is in my kitchen, washing out our cups.

* Tintin (from the Tintin Comics) has changed his dog Snowy into a larger, taller version.

Fragment
» I recall someone asking me if I also entered a contest to win a free GoPro camera.

» I recall chilling with one of my housemates. We were talking about his relationship.

Team Jestion
I'm watching a video of a bunch of freerunners. Parts of it are in slowmotion. They are in an MMA arena, showcasing their tricks. A few times I could see the audience in the background. There's one kid who was either black or Asian, who seemed bored, as he yawned quite obviously. The tricks this group was showcasing were so brutal that I replayed parts of the video. There was one part where someone was sort of leaning against an object in the middle of the arena. His back was hollow and his face was covered by something. One of the other guys decides to use his upperbody as a platform to perform a gainer [backflip variant]. He runs up to the guy, puts his foot down on the right side of his chest and performs the gainer, landing just to the left of the other dude. Insanely awesome! You can see the other guy open his mouth to scream though, as he probably wasn't expecting this to happen. At the end I can see the logo of Team Jestion.

I went to check into a hotel with my boyfriend and he told the person at the check-in desk that we were staying there for the whole weekend but I thought we were just staying for a night and I was stressing because I had something important to do like play some Mortal Kombat character and it was really important for some reason.

Then I was younger and in a class but it was an outdoor class and I couldn't pay
attention to the teacher because I was looking behind me at the beautiful scenery, a tall mountain and a sunset. The boy behind me passed me a picture. It was a picture of the mountain and sunset. Then the boy started saying really nice things to me that I liked and I was falling in love and then we were lying on a couch. I lay my head on his leg as I realized I was going to stay with him and love him forever. Then he moved up beside of me, lying beside me on the couch and I put my arms around him.

But then something weird happens, like I am eating, but in reverse, so food is coming up my throat and turning into solid food in my mouth and I try to swallow it down but I am choking and everything is ruined and I wake up.

Then I am with my boyfriend. We are near our apartment complex but it is different. There is a solid cement ground and a solid cement wall and my boyfriend is very drunk and yelling at some woman in the distance so I make him stop. I thought he was really going to embarrass himself. But then I wanted to see what happened if he told the woman what he wanted to tell her so I tried to encourage him to keep on yelling but he wouldn't do it.

I had a bunch of other weird dreams that I took mental notes of but then I fell asleep and lost them.

[Notes]:
- This happened a while back, can't remember much about it.

[Fragment 1]:
I get into my car with a couple of friends (one of them is W). For some reason, the driver's seat is on the right side. I hear these strange gas-like sounds in the car behind me, and I look, and low and behold my friends are smoking crack in my car with a couple of test tubes. I flip out at them, and they get legit scared and run away. I run after them. I eventually find myself on top of this tree house, and these police/neighborhood watch people start shouting at me, scolding me for scolding my friends for having crack.

[Fragment 2]:
Something about my bus being late... turning onto a neighborhood street.

[Fragment 3]:
There was this crazy lightning storm above my house. [DREAMSIGN] It flew over and ended up on the east side, spewing out confetti-like sine wave lightning like crazy.

[Notes]:
- Very vivid.
- I wrote some rudimentary notes a while back, but now I can't remember that much outside of them.
- The setting was rather all over the place; it was more like I was watching a movie with cuts in between than actually flowing through a whole dream.

[Dream begins]:
My family doctor had prescribed me heroin, and I didn't really know why (possibly depression?). I was supposed to shoot up once a day, every morning. My syringes came in these blue or black plastic containers in packs of 10 or 20.

I had become dependent on it. In order to feel any sense of normality, I'd have to shoot up. On the first day of the dream, I shot up in the morning, but then started feeling crappy in the afternoon. I know I was only supposed to shoot once, but I just had to do it again. Thus began the cycle. The next day, I made it halfway through the day, then shot up again. Then again a couple hours later, and so on. At the end of the day, I realized that I had shot up five times. I realized I had a problem. The next day, I decided I would only shoot up once in the morning, as prescribed. I made it into the day a little, feeling relatively fine, and then I started to feel crappy. I had a HUD that had a happy meter that was like a battery, and it was nearing empty. I began to feel like my whole body was hurting, sweats, and fever.

[Dream ends]

SC4) 05:30
Dream - My house
I'm in a modern house which I seem to own. It's at least 2 stories tall and has a soft grey carpet and glass window railings you can see over to look at the first floor. It's night time and I keep getting up from bed to go to the toilet and also to fill up my water bottle. The toilet is on the other side of the house which is quite far to walk. I do this a couple times, the second time I think to myself that I should just use the toilet next to my room. Why am I walking all the way over here if there's a toilet next to my room? Also, it's so dark and scary over here. There's so many shadows that it feels like someone is hiding in, I'm going to lock this side of the house. I think to myself that I need to find the keys near my room then come back here and lock the door, then I can go sleep in peace again.

Struggled to wake up at all, I seemed to sleep like a brick right until 5:30. I remember that I did have a few other dreams but I didn't manage to write them down and they never stay in my head until the morning.