non-lucid

I was in a book store trying to find June Jay this author that my girlfriend apparently knew. June Jay is a made of author that I am not familar with in real life. I tried to get transferred to her but the book store clerk said that due to contract purposes that was not allowed.

Italics = not part of the dream


Blue= LUCID
Went to bed 10:30 2 cups of water lead to me waking up and at 4:45 had the urge to piss wbtb finished at 5. I was repeating my mantra and also did some dream incubation (I love the MILD Technique) I was very sleepy and relaxed as time went on and I noticed the feeling of sleep paralysis through my body. I opened up my 'dream eyes' which started the dream

Dream started me spinning in space I remember having a weird feeling but can't recall why. I was grabbing onto a satelitte I flew around a little bit and I grabbed another satellite there was a planet that looked like earth I wanted to fly to but I couldn't get flying in the direction I wanted, like a force was pushing me to the right when I wanted to go foreward so I grabbed the satelitte thing again (it was very disproportionate I was almost the size of the thing) so I tried teleporting towards the planet, I teleported, but it was to a different place in space and not closer to the planet that looked like earth it was my first experience trying out teleporting and I just tried to imagine myself closer to the planet. This scene changed and I was on the school oval or maybe I forgot the bit inbetween? I see some people and I end up going near some of the buildings the dream is non-lucid after this scene change, come to think of it, that may of been what triggeredme losing lucidity! I saw a dc of my girlfriend and said hi then on closer look it was a boy from my school and I felt embarassed and relieved that he didn't seem to hear me a mirror somehow came in the mix and I had a huge crab on my head and I thought it was my eyebrows hahaha! I was thinking that my eyebrows looked very unusual and ugly.One of my iwl friends took the crab off and killed it somehow. There was a little slimy bug on top of the crab that I had killed then my friend got told off for littering (I think he threw a piece of the crab) but he hid from the teacher and the teacher asked another kid to give her his name. We then sat down at a table and I had an art folio on the table the teacher walked past us and told us to not litter my friend waits a bit then throws a piece of fruit really high in the air when the teacher calls out he ran I was still there looking at the art folio and I did remember holding a plum-like fruit sliced in half. I then woke up

May 14, 2014: Dream 4 of four: Dave K***, Lynne and I are all leaving Dave’s house simultaneously. We are each leaving in our own separate cars. Dave pulls out of his driveway in the Land Rover, and heads away from the two of us down a dark street without waiting for us. I am next to drive and Lynne is behind me in her Camry, which is showing only one headlight. As we drive, we encounter dozens and dozens of pumpkins which are strewn all over the road which we cannot avoid since they are so numerous. They are only medium sized (about 10") and we hit them or pass over them as we leave without damaging our cars. We get to a corner where Dave turned right, and do the same. There are no more pumpkins on this stretch of road. I wake.

I'm a guy sitting at the counter in a bar. I'm here a lot, I live nearby, maybe in the same building. I'm talking with a younger woman who's sitting to my right - brown ponytail, in her 20s maybe, someone I rely on. I say to her, "You weren't there (meaning Hell), but you know I was there. That's comforting to someone who (don't remember the exact wording for this next bit, but it amounts to trying to stay out of the nuthouse. Implication being that otherwise he'd start doubting his sanity, think his past was a delusion.)" She cuts me off by kissing me. It's a first, it takes me completely off guard.

Over her shoulder, I see my wife (widow, rather - his wife from before he'd died) sitting a few stools down with her boyfriend or fiance or whatever he is. She doesn't know me - or rather, she 'knows' me, casually, as the false identity I've been using since I came back from Hell; she doesn't realize who I was before I died, to most people I look like a completely different person. But even without knowing me, she's looking at us now and looking disgusted. She and the guy she's with get up and leave.

This is a non-lucid dream I had tonight, but it boosted my motivation.

I was at my house, sitting on a couch, reading some newspapers. Some articles published in them caught my attention. Each paper had an article which talked about studies that have been done about lucid dreaming. They all came to the conclusion that people who have lucid dreams often, see their intellectual habilities enhanced, while also being happier than people who don't have them. This was supposedly due to the fact that lucid dreamers have a higher level of awareness and self-awareness in their daily lives and this seemed to create new neurological pathways in the central nervous system. Interesting.

In the dream I was glad such things were being published because maybe it would encourage other people to take the journey, but deep down I knew mostly everyone wouldn't pay much attention to it.

I have heard lucid dreamers say they feel more intellectually capable since being into it, but I don't know this for myself. What I have felt though is that I more easily feel happier because of it. By making lucid dreaming a background thought in my mind, I always feel I'm making steps forward to better myself, so to speak. And as for the neurological pathways thing... I don't really know where I've got the idea from, maybe I read it somewhere but I don't remember. But casually, I'm studying the nervous system in a Physiology subject at uni, no perhaps it's not so much of a coincidence.

drempt that i was in this small office buildingn afater hours with liz. she turned to kiss me really fast. it was natural we both went for it. she was strange to kiss i guess you could say or at least it felt weird.. her lips were sooo idk just hard to get the tounge in but i still felt good. anyway we layed down right on the ground and i dont know if i stuck it in or not but i came really fast but it was like so much cum al over her body. then she sucked my dick for a while and got all the cumm off

earlier in the dream i was hosting an aa meeting/party at my house. i had my house and then somehow my grandmas house next store was an option...there was a rope swing that let to people hang on and spin really fast.

i saw nick g there with lots of other random people

took b6 and valerian root, woke up several times, only recall dream before i woke up just now

sitcom like dream with 2 kids. setting is a large open kitchen with light orange/yellow wood and fluorescent light behind translucent white panels and plenty of daylight. one kid is expecting the other to come in and pour some milk. he and his female friend are already drinking milk. it seems like he expects the other kid to pour the remainder of the milk from a glass measuring cup into his glass cup only to realize that there is too much and his cup is overflowing. but when he goes to pour it, the first kid pulls away the now glass jar of milk with a string that is attached to his hand while he sits across from the table.

I wake

.../I see the dream in 3rd person. There's a gang lead by 3 guys who have the worse behavior. The others just follow them without thinking. They are sort of a extreme-right wing party. We (a bunch of nerds) are living in a room next to their place of reunion. One of the leaders commands the troop to fire our room by incinerating their wall first and then he goes out with the other 2. I see it's a stupid idea what they are about to do. The lower ranked guys start to fire their wall, it burns all. They want to spread the fire from their side to ours, but they start having problems with the fire in their own room first. I think if we help them to solve that problem they will follow us. We help them to extinguish the fire using pancakes. Now they are on our side/...

.../It's twilight. I'm following a dark cat which shows me some secret things buried on the ground. Something about a gold ring/...

* Alarm clock went off
* I lost many dreams because of I went late to bed. I wasn't able to wake up after them to take some notes.

* Nap after work:

.../I'm walking with my older daughter on another recurrent dreamscape street. There's a group of women walking in front of us. I notice one of them looks like one of my relatives. I tell my daughter she's my cousin, then she recognize us. We give us a hug. The street ends on the top of some escalators. Her parents get there from the lower platform. I have to confirm the other kid's flight ticket. She's at home, we are going to pick her up. She has to flight back tomorrow, otherwise I have to think when could it be. My uncles invite us to lunch in a good restaurant. I explain them we have to pick the little one first and I have to think for the new flight day/...

.../I'm playing pool. I didn't know I have improved so much my game. I'm playing pool like a pro, I'm surprised! The balls look a little bit older. The cue looks like a scratched long wooden stock. I don't care, I love the game. I fail a ball, it's not a problem because of I'm playing alone and try it again. I put my hand deep in the pocket to take the balls back and try again. I perform a lot of very good tricks, I'm amazed! There are lot of tables in the hall. I'm next to a wall. Two guys are playing on the other side. I miss two balls out of the table. They roll where the other guys are playing. One of them kick them back. I thank him/...

* I've started to draw fast sketches of the scenes again.

Morning of May 14, 2014. Wednesday.



The first part of my dream was quite interesting in a personal sense and was like a “breakthrough” event which I have not had at such a deep level for some time, I think, especially as it had sort of “clever” associations with some other recent dreams. (For example, a recent dream featured the term “Kill Zone” and this one had “Send Zone” as part of the last event. For a long time, my dreams have sometimes had concepts that repeated in twos for two days in a row, or sometimes threes; for example, the patting someone on the upper back from their left, stuffed animals as a possible “threat”, and several others.) Also, it related to my wife’s dream of the same time period in a very deep and unusual way (relating to the “other” apparently and some sort of energy sent back through time).

I am not sure of the location or address (it seems to change several times, actually) but I am with my family. There is some mail that is piled on the bed for some reason, both opened and unopened. Some of it is old junk mail, I think, which has supposedly remained unopened for quite some time. I pick one larger envelope up and feel something hard inside that is thicker than paper would be. When I open it, I discover that it is a plaquette similar to the one in some ways that I have had from a very young age in Arcadia (and still have on the wall now; it had been left behind in the post office as unopened “junk mail” by a member of the “other’s” family). Instead of the tan/pale brown, though, it is pale blue. The motif is a bit different, the surface is smoother, and the message is different and somewhat shorter. Unfortunately, I do not remember exactly what it was, though it might have been “Count your blessings, not your sorrows”, I think - and at one point the plaquette is oriented perpendicular to the other one in that the message is longways (what you would call “landscape” as opposed to “portrait” in graphics terms). Still, it seems the finding is great - being very important, and seems like some sort of deep immersion into the Source, almost like finding a personal treasure that you had all along.

Near the end of my dream, which I will write before the middle of it, there is some sort of blog on the Internet that talks about different religions and “fabrications” - similar to the theme of fabricating dreams in some ways. (Although it was published on February 24, 2012, I had never seen it before, so this turned out to be precognitive for me relative to the usage of the word “zone” and some of its associations in the actual article - as well as my wife’s experience relating to someone being her friend only if she gave them snacks - and it included the picture of the exact same plaquette I found as a child, which I found intriguing but of the usual “precognitive energy” and familiar validation feelings I have experienced day to day since early childhood.)



In my dream there is also talk about the “Send Zone” as related to the Source (although the real-life blog was similar to the one in my dream, it was not exactly the same throughout - it was a bit more “generic” as well as slightly political regarding world affairs), which is implied to be like an egg-shaped (or teardrop-shaped) realm of bright blue light. I am trying to work out the liminal area or “threshold”, but it seems sort of ambiguous in concept - as if I am always “already there” - somewhat like trying to work out from a map how to get to a certain location when you already are in that location and there are no boundaries or individual aspects - hard to explain - or like holding “a glass of water” under the surface of a lake. It is difficult to relate because I feel such an understanding of “oneness” that there does not seem to be any sort of “division” (or separation of any kind) and it almost seems as futile as someone trying to find the “border” of where a light in a room slightly changes in midair - or, “everything inside the circle is the same as everything outside the circle”. The blog seems to represent some sort of confirmation. I feel quite “giddy” and blissful, filled with positive energy. Then again, I did do about six hours of intense imagery projection and affirmative meditation prior and reached a point of clarity that actually seemed stronger than at any prior time in my life.

The middle part of my dream was quite bizarre and went through several changes. Firstly, I seem to be in the front yard (northeast corner) of the King Street boarding house. There is some sort of very large three-tiered anthill which seems more like a man-made structure. It also seems like some sort of composite flower-petal-themed circular water fountain structure (without the water) and like a merry-go-round or carousel (but not turning). To my right is a bookcase-like structure (with three vertical divisions and at least four horizontal “shelves”) that the ants somehow created or utilized in a special way. There is one compartment where the ants are keeping their eggs. Another compartment holds at least six dead mice (of different random colors including white, brown, and black) lying mostly on their sides on top of each other and are being stored for food. At this point, the ants might have spider-like attributes, because I sense the mice were captured and stored by some sort of webbing. I notice a few ants come up from the ground and I somehow “pet” them without incident.

Then, I am suddenly aware that this place is actually “also” a large “mouse nest”. Several mice playfully come near me from the center of the “fountain” structure and I pet them as they scurry about. They are of several different colors including browns and grays. Some of them seem more tame than others. This is quite vivid and pleasing.

Later, the construct is now some sort of three-dimensional clothing catalog, primarily featuring beachwear and sunglasses and such. There are images of dark-haired girls (on three different tiers of this holographic “catalog” or supposed commercial display) in very unusual multicolored bikinis that seem to implement various complex tiki pole designs over the front of their body. For example, the top part (or bra) might represent the “eyes” of the tiki pole, with strings coming down and crisscrossing - with additional cloth forming a complex colorful “nose” and then the bikini bottom completing the “tiki pole” with the mouth area of the tiki shown or the hands going across or both in the print. This seems like an entirely new concept and a modern fashion statement and each design is quite different.

Finally, in the last part of the middle section, the construct changes into some sort of different store display, yet belongs to us - and we now seem to be at our present home. It seems almost like a giant three-tiered buffet display or cake stand, while still seeming like a water fountain or merry-go-round structure. There are several slight depressions in the “petal” structures (one in each “petal”) all around, that hold various items in each, most of which I find to be older View-Master reels, some in sets of three (most separated from the old-style packets) and some singular “demo” reels of the kind that used to come with the View-Master itself. I ask my youngest son if he had seen some of them, but he apparently has not. There seems to be something about not mixing them with the others until they have been ordered and viewed the first time.

---

it's been a long while since i've actively tried to lucid dream. the last couple years have been a bit of a blur, as i was in a dark place. I can recall becoming lucid in a few dreams from the fewer i ever recalled having. pot wasnt very conducive to my memory.

i've been trying the last three days to induce a lucid and i managed to incubate it enough to have one today

awake
thoughts
dream
lucid

i'm taking a nap but i wake up only to find im in my van. wait, i didn't go to sleep in a van.
here we go.
i decide to take flight, but upon gaining lucidity my vision goes and i can't see anything. i can feel myself vibrate as i ascend through the van's roof. everything is still black and doesnt seem like its going to change so

i wake up

i guess i forgot to try stabilizing, maybe that would have helped.

i go back to sleep only to have a couple non lucid dreams that i don't recall

So how the dream starts I'm in a confuse false awaking before I fall asleep then wen I sleep I wake up in a dream yet the clarity an clairvoyance sometimes isn't as powerful as my past sleep states not to say that I know I'm dreaming or not I notice my surrounding a little more crisp than what they usual are as the dream continue on I notice I'm going thru Dream transformation yet I'm not. Human while I sleep I see thru the eye of a blue eye monkey so while I struggle with lucidity to sustain my dream form I have a non-lucid transformation trying to get the clarity of a lucid being if I don't become lucid enough thru the first transformation I then induce a lucid consistent trance where I try an confused my non lucid mind into thinking I'm still trap in a dream state that I could fall in an out of sleep into while strengthen my lucidity with each dream transformation the trance lucid form of myself as a blue eye monkey become stronger an my lucidity also heightens taking. Me thru a new plane of Hi.

5/13/14

Last naight bed 12:30am - 8am

DR:
I'm in a Japanese dojo. It's quite large. There is a group of us. I recognize one person from my school. We are suppose to learn some new skills. Right now we are being taught swordfighting.

A sensei in long Japanese garb of dark color is swinging with a very long and curved sword. As he swings, he makes sounds and yells out words in Japanese. (we were talking with mismagius last night about our dreams of Japan).

I'm kinda embarrased to be yelling "hayyyyaaaa" and stuff like that, so I'm kinda not wanting to do it.

When the class is over, I understand that I can't advance, unless I learn the Katana. So I look up some books that I know sensei was learning from, or recommended. I find 2 books. One is called "Marble [art, fighting, or something similar]. I'm flipping pages and there is so many of these yells in japanese, that you have to yell out at specific sword moves. I'm like, wow, this is like a whole script, how am I suppose to learn this, all in Japanese.

Had tons of other dreams, seems like dreaming all night.

I did a proper WBTB - but only after only 2.5 h sleep, because I woke up naturally then, and felt weirdly awake. So I stayed up for half an hour and tried for WILD quite a longish while - maybe even half an hour - but then rolled over and slept and no LD.
So today I do a hypnosis session once more and combine with another, later WBTB.
If that then works - I know, that hypnosis has it's part in it. My latest 2/3 LDs were connected to doing it.

Just to get into journalling again - three fragments/parts of dreams:

I was with friends from work and a woman told me, that there would be a huge charity event, and if I wanted to take part.
Her husband and other doctors were putting on a show to gather money for children in need by -
flatlining themselves!! Bringing their hearts to a stop (medically) and leaving it so for 5 min. before reanimation.
I was horrified and tried to keep them from doing it - told them what all could happen - how mad I find it.
But they did it anyway and nobody died.

Another scene had me in school and a friend from university was there, too - and suddenly she takes out a mirror and a straw and some white powder - again me scampering to prevent her from doing that in the middle of class, whatever it supposedly was. That's a new one - don't think I ever dream of drugs normally - at least I don't remember it, but there's nothing to inspire such anyway - just to make that clear.

Another fragment was me having birthday and coming home with some friends of mine, and my mother had prepared such a food-pyramid-tray - don't know how to call that in English - and it was full of nuts and sweets and for some reason, I can see it clearly and in detail, when I remember it - there are always some picture-impressions, which stick for no obvious reason at all. Then there was a little bit of a festivity in an old childhood room, which was even smaller than it used to be, and we had trouble fitting in. Then we were chatting and eating. Na well.

:sleepysteph:

on a plane and i got off and forgot my back pack. aftwerwards i had struggles in the airport cause a little girl didn't tell me i had left it. so i went to wall greens and the milk specalist helped me find it. i was on a motor cycle later and was trying to listen to head phones. later later my mom wanted to scub dive but i was to worried about sharks so i shut her down and said id chill in the hotel room. then i was on this game show infront of my peers that inolved shrinking down 2 a video game size and beating 2 levels of some game.

.../It's twilight time. No lights outside. I went out home but must get back, I forgot something. 3 guys are walking close in a suspicious attitude. I keep my distance, they don't look too friendly. I don't want to walk in front of them. I see them changing direction in a crossroad. I get to the door, open it and get in. In the corridor, there are 2 doors to get into the apartment. My cousin's wife opens the door which connects to the kitchen, I prefer to use the other one that leads to the living room. I have a bag in my hand, I let it on the floor. There's something about their daughter/...

* That apartment is an old recurrent dreamscape

.../I see a friend of mine from my elementary school times. He's older now and takes part in a sport event with other students from his new school. They are formed in lines wearing sport uniforms in white and light blue. I remember he had a little sister. I remember he was the only one who could help me stop crying when I squeezed my finger with a tree trunk when we were little kids. I think I should say he acted like an angel/...

* From time to time I tend to remember in dreams, people who I don't see since a very long time. I don't know if I'm going to see them again but in dreams.

.../I'm at the bottom of some long stairs. I'm wearing my folk dance custom of a devil. It's the second day of the party. I'm with a DC who is a mixture of my wife and an ex-girlfriend. She helps me to push a mountain bike I'm riding to go up. In the middle of the stairs we meet a friend of mine who greets her with a kiss in each cheek and one in the lips. I pretend to ignore it. He asks me if there was something wrong. I say him I just didn't like that. There's nobody else from the group at the top of the stairs. Apparently we are the first people to get there. We walk around. It's twilight time...

* Alarm clock went off.
* The DC mixture appears from time to time, she didn't like it when I told her it was a dream once.
* I'm still trying to find a proper timing and a structure to fit my daily activity.