task of the month

3/10/14

Awake at 7:20 am

Brushed teeth, went to the bathroom, hugged husband goodbye.

A little afraid to fall back to sleep and have a FA. I remind myself I need the sleep and this is the way I can achieve my lucid dream.

I visualize my dream plan and pray to God I have a lucid dream and fly. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

8:05 am MILD

I had a dream that I had a FA, but was scared and "woke up" but really it was another FA.

I went out my living room door, reminding myself that I'm going to try to fly. Some sort of cart in the hallway. Then I go outside to a playground/baseball field. I attempt flying many times with little success, so I use the things around to push myself up. Then finally, I'm dog paddling and swimming high in the air! I land and remind myself I need to stabilize the dream. So I rub my hands together. Then flew over to a dream character. There were three male dream characters. This one in particular looked like a past high school classmate of mine with brown hair and kind of a jock. I remembered the task of the month and asked him, "What's my middle name?" He replied, "Windy," took my hands and flew with me in the sky. (I got the task of the month wrong! Ha. I'm supposed to ask what his middle name is!)

At one point I travel down the sidewalks. With each step I float a little down the sidewalk. There are skaters on the sidewalk, one a young girl. I wonder if people who fly in dreams have the same stigma as people who skate in waking life.

I go back to my apartment, remembering that I need to wake up. I struggle to. At one point, my grandma enters the dream. I tell her I need to wake up. I go back to my bed and reach for my dream journal to try to write my dream down, but it doesn't work, I just barely write scribbles. Somehow, I'm hoping that in waking life I'm also writing things down, it never occurs to me in my FA that what I do in the FA is not affecting the waking world. It's 1 pm in my dream, I need to get up. Then, I reach over for hand lotion on my side table (though, in real life, this hand lotion is out in the living room), squirt some on my fingers and rub it on my tongue to try to wake myself up. It works, I'm repulsed by the taste and wake up.

Dramatic and passionate music sung by a man throughout the dream. A lot of "ooh, ooh, ooh" vocals.

Finished writing my dream down at 8:18 am.

In the night before sleeping time I felt depressed, so I drank a bottle of wine and watch a movie with my gf. I fall asleep around 1:30 a.m.

5:30
I wake up and I recall 1 dream fragment. I start to run around the flat. I do few excercies to become completely awake. I've told to my girl that we sleep separately because of my focus toward lucid dreaming competition. So I sleep on the sofa.
She was awake and I have sex with her without achieving orgasm. Then I go to the kitchen and drink 1,5l of milk and 1l of juice. 6:30 I take one Galantamind 4mg pill and Choline 400mg. I go out to buy a breakfast, but the bakery shop is still no open.
The open at 7:00 a.m. and I buy some orange juice and some pastry.

7:30 I return to the flat and I go back to bed (sofa). (my gf is still sleeping) I try to do wild. I feel galantamind is already buzzing in my head, so it should be easy. When I fall a sleep, I started to spin and woke up immediately. I decided just go to sleep.

8:55
LD pinching my grandmother - March TOTM
I'm in the granma's garden. It's sunny warm day and we just sit there, sunbathing and drinking juice.
I have suddenly blur vision. I wonder why... I'm must be dreaming. I become lucid. But the dream is not stable. I can't move with my dream head nor with my eyes. I see only floor - orange tiles. Is this because of galantamine? No, it can't be... Or maybe it's sleep paralysis in the dream - what a nonsense I tell to myself. I remember that I wanna do March totm - to pinch someone who is not wearing a green clothes. My granma had orange bathrobe, so she is perfect subject. Only problem is that I can't see her and I can't move my head. I try to move with my arm. Yes it works, I try to palpate granma. I feel her foot in my hand. Great! Now I pinch her. Firstly I do a soft pinch. She say nothing. Okay, lets try it little harder. She say something like: Yau. Okay lets pinch her really hard, and she was like Yauuuu, but she say no more. I wake up.

lucidity 1,5
vivacity 1,5
control 3
time 4m

LD Waltz in the bedroom
After first lucid I wasn't moving at all and I started to hear really loud and annoying voices in my head. I though that I'm mad now... I think that was because of galantamine.
I have false awakening in a bedroom. I stand up and looking across the room. Walpaper on the wall is rich staurated with color. It feel to me strange these colors. There dancing people in evening dresses and they do waltz dance. I say to myself, come on! This is easy, this is deffinitely a dream!!! I was really excited and I remember that I want to do three step taks. My first task is flying. I have to go out of the building. I run to the next room. There is a some kind of doctor in black blazer and he looks like psychologist. I could interact with him, noo that's the second step, I must fly first. There is a window, but it closed and it has window shutters on. I'm good in going through a wall. So I stand againts the wall and run toward it. Bam, i hit it with my nose. The second try - BAM!!! My head! Ok lets focus, I will run throught the wall now, I can do it easily, I'done it so many times, I tell to myself. Run fast agains it and BAAAAAAAAAAAAM! It knocked me down to the ground, it was a little painful experience. Okay lets open this old way DD. I open the shutters and I put my head out of the window. I smell fresh ground aftar raining. It's so real. I doubt my dream state for a second before I will run out of the window I need to be sure. I'm looking to the doctor, yeahh this is deffinitely a dream. I run out of the window and slowly fly to the road. I see black car at our neighbor. I can go interact with him. But first, I need to do my stabilization technique. I lay on the ground and start to feel all my body. I scrub the road with my body. I see mud there and I lick it. It's dream mud, but it taste like a real mud YUF!!! I focus on sounds. I hear something and my thought was: isn't this sounds from real world? And because of this idea, I wake up.

lucidity 1
control 2
vivacity 1
time 7m

9:40 After I've written all my dreams to my laptop, I decided to go to sleep again, because my gf is still sleeping

10:15
LD Atempt to teleport by quick blink
I'm alone in my car in the back seat. There is beautiful sunny day and the sun is going to set. I think how I get there? Why I'm here alone? The car is so spacious, I think to myself that I could live here. I don't get that this is lucid yet. It was all wierd, but I'm still not lucid. I see a car coming. It's friend from my highschool with a girl. I did't see him like two years. This car is not looking good, he would never bought such a scrap. I don't want to talk to him, so I hide. I make up a story why, I'm alone and in the back seat. Is it sign fo shyness? My car begin to jiggle. It was like on the sea. It jiggle increasingly. I look out of the window, if there is water beneath. No water, just sandy road. This is impossible! I must be dreaming! I immeadately recall what is the next second and third step task - interact with a dc and teleport. I fly up thrhough the front glass of my car with eyes open. I did't feel the glass at all. I land close to them. How are you today??? And I kiss the girl on her cheeks, I wanna do the same with the boy, but he push me away and look unpleasantly. Okay, nevermind... Next step - teleportation. I'm struggling with teleportation and I need to practice it more and become better. I will teleport by blink of my eyes, to whatever location. Okay, here we go, I look to the road and blink. Nothing happened. Second try - blink. SMAAAASH TO MY FACE totally new enviroment with brick road and different trees and everything. It was like blow my brain, so quick change!!! It was no pleasant and I think I immediately lost my lucidity or wake up. So I think I can't count this like successful teleportation.

lucidity 1
vivacity 1,5
control 2
time 6m

If you see a bug or a grammar mistake in my English, especially if you are a native speaker, you are welcome to point it out, I would be happy to learn something. I wrote it pretty fast though...

Pre Bed Supps: 250mg Valerian 30 mins prior, 100 mg 5htp at bed. Bed @ 1115

WBTB: 4am Supps: 3mg G, 250 C, 250 Valerian and .5 mel

Routine: Got up and took my Valerian right away to keep me rather calm and hopefully keep me on the sleepy side. Read some old DJ entries and went back to bed 25 minutes later, right before I layed down I took other supps.

Had one non lucid prior to WBTB and didn't have too hard of a time getting back to sleep.

Woke with this around 530 or so but didn't record till around 8 or 9.

I was downstairs in an inside/outside living area. I was lying in a bed and we were either really cleaning up or moving out of our house. My wife was upstairs throwing a bunch of stuff out of a window like papers and whatnot. I told her that it would probably make more sense if the bagged it up there so she didn't have to pick it up twice. She didn't really care for my comments. I layed down in bed to go to sleep with lucidity on my mine (this was in the dream), I woke again (FA) and there was a dog on my head. I ended up laying on the dog and trying to get back to sleep again, still thinking of lucidity. I put my head near the side of the bed and it kept sinking down further and further never ending. I thought that I might be in a dream at this point. I tried to open my eyes but it was very difficult, I could open them a bit but they would clamp back shut. After alot of struggling I got them to stay open but they were fluttering a bit. I fought a bit more and finally got them to stay open. I did a RC with my hand and brought it up to my face but couldn't see it. I tried again and again I couldn't see it. It was like I knew it was there and I should be able to see it but it just wasn't there. I rolled out of bed (didn't even get stuck in the covers this time) and was finally able to see my hands. They looked normal. Oh well, back to bed. I turned to get back in bed and it was now a tan couch now. I checked my hand again and really looked and noticed some awkwardness about them, then I saw the wavyness and the shrinking and growing of the fingers.

LUCID: I didn't study anything like I said I was and just walked over to the side of the room with some cabinets and a refrigerator. I was in a basement of a house, not huge just a single large room and a small bathroom off to the side. I went into the refrigerator since I wanted to try some more food and opened it. On the bottom I saw a can of peanut butter. I grabbed it and took off the lid and got some with my finger from inside the top ring of the container. It wasn't bad actually, tasted nutty at least. I just tasted didn't chew or swallow. I then decided to find some dog biscuits to do the task from last month. I went into one cabinet which had pots and pans. Then I told myself they were in this cabinet and opened a top one and there were a bunch of different bagged items. I went through a few of them not recognizing dog treats and then again I thought they are here in the back. I grabbed a yellow bag and tried to read it but couldn't make anything out. I knew they were either cat or dog treats. This will do. I opened it up and got a handful out. They were shaped as animals, kind of looked like the animal crackers but they had the color of a salami type meat. Pink with some of the white specks riddled through them. I dropped a couple on the floor for the dogs that were by me and then popped one in my mouth. It tasted meaty, nothing amazing or gross, just there really. I then began picking up the mess that I made, wrappers on the counter. I thought this was funny that I was cleaning up and it didn't matter but I kept doing it anyways. I tossed it all in the trashcan in the bathroom. I saw a window and thought to go out it but wanted to find some people to do the St Patties day TOTM on so stayed inside. I did however want to jump through the ceiling to get upstairs. I remember I pictured in my head this failing and it did. I jumped up and went through some of the ceiling tiles and came back down with broken tiles around me. Stairs it is. I headed for the stairs on the other side of the room and started climbing them. I was about half way up when I heard my daughter and wife talking about me liking frosting. Happily I replied "I do like frosting" and before I got to the door to go to the upstairs I woke up.

I was pretty excited I had this lucid that lasted probably 5 to 10 minutes after my previous 5 or 6 have been less than 10 seconds.

3/4*!
I feel like this earlier dream was an important reminder (from my subconscious I assume) to let the family of the deceased know that they are still in our thoughts and prayers(done this morning!). The deceased died very unexpectedly and way too young! In it I dreamed of M from A again, along with G who died almost 5 years ago this month (I think he was memorialized in dream the night before (foggy memory night before) that also had M from A for sure and who ties in closely with G). Yesterday it seemed like his name might have memorialized on jerseys which were green and blue. Tonight it was a memorial in a grassy hilly area and M gave me a State tie pin that was supposed to be connected to G.

DILD: there is a party with family there and quite a few unknown people, quite crowded in some version of M Blvd but not really, perhaps my childhood home had some elements here as well. Someone says hey that sounds like a baby, do you hear that? I look around and I also then hear the crying and look down over my left shoulder and see very small baby newborn in a carrier on the ground. I go to pick up the baby with a big smile and very happy but then I realize that this baby showed up out of the blue and that I am definitely dreaming. I think of DutchRaptor-style tests of lucidity level and think to myself, since I am dreaming I have no problem dropping this baby back to the ground (from about 2 feet up) and I did so but it felt awkward and wrong before reminding myself...hey it's just a dream, move on. I think of the basic TOTM and I walk over from the living room to the kitchen and ask a female DC what her middle name is, there is a delay and I say nicely, I just need a name, your middle name. She says what sounds like "Frando." Then I am feeling a bit frisky and go around the house looking for an attractive DC passing my brother in law (one who moved about 1 year ago) and mother in law in a family room type area behind the kitchen and to the right of that my son is half awake on a bed in an odd spot in the open asking me what I am doing but I just keep going. I circle back around to the kitchen and two of my son's college age friends are there and I think, why not. I start kissing one after some flirtation and she gets a little too tongue-y for my taste and the other friend joins in kissing me as well...it becomes a little odd (too much tongue) and I fly up and out of the house. Looking at the night sky I think of the Bonus TOTM, alien abduction. I decide I will call out for them to come and get me but my voice doesn't come out right and it is garbled and I think that I was just talking to the DC with the middle name after becoming lucid, perhaps my SC doesn't want me to call out for aliens?? I think what the heck and I try again and I can talk clearly: "Aliens, come and get me" as I am floating maybe 200 feet up. I see a orangish-red circular coloration in the sky with a smaller circle in the middle but definitely not a ship, more like an aurora and nothing is happening so I say it again and then move on. I fly back down over a country-like neighborhood with maybe 4 houses including the one I came out of with the party. There is lots of space and land in-between and green rolling hills lit up in what looks like moon-light though I hadn't seen a moon so far. Out in front of one of the homes up and to the left from my downward view I see a woman in a long flowing gown with a young child just behind her and I swoop down. We talk and there is an obvious connection between us, I tell her that she is very beautiful. She looks a little like Scarlett Johansson (who I have been incubating an image of) but her cheeks are less pronounced and her nose more narrow. She grabs my hand and says, let me show you to your room. I say that I would like to stay with her and she says "but I have the kids (two) to look after" and I say that I can help her look after them but first I lean in for a kiss and we have a passionate kiss and I am so enthralled by the realism. I can hardly believe this is only a dream. She is so beautiful, she is so natural and not the least bit mindless and as we start to get on towards more sexual activity there in the moonlit grass I return to bed and I can tell that I am fully awake and there is no going back in but I am smiling from ear to ear, very enthralled. Perhaps this was my SC giving me a "true love" DC related to last months TOTM.

A little different:
Awareness work type: retracing my steps (&looking at myself from the outside)
Pre bed: quick review of recent dream signs: stars, tram/variation, my fam, ex's
wbtb: none planned but trouble sleeping around 6.5 hours(odd cycle, REM rebound?)

Other way round - I don't remember much of my dreams and nothing interesting - but I had two short LDs in the meantime and will keep record of it like this.

From one of my workbooks:

Well - anyway - I've been moaning about not meeting my main dream-sign irl - but a bit of activity almost two weeks back, with mantraing and visualisations on our old house - like recommended - gave me two further detections!!
Its sort of receding - I'm not living there any more meanwhile, it is about to get destroyed.
First time while being sick and not motivated in any way - I just slipped out of lucidity after taking a look around and dreamt on with my story.

Then last night was some weird back and forth reasoning:
The house - I dream!
Then - no, it's getting ripped down this day - that's why I want to get something out of the empty building.
Then - noo - it has already been, so I can't stand in front of it!

The normal dream, which I forgot by now - was something nice and I wanted to go on with it actually.
But the TOTMs came out just on time for this - since there were two DCs standing behind me - I thought take the first task in stride - and so I found out, that a woman with really beautiful long black hair - has as middle name Niniana!
Groundbreaking, earthshaking news!!

Shortly thought of the aliens - I have to and I will get abducted by aliens this month!!
But somehow I reckoned, I wouldn't have enough dream quality or control - and without so much as trying - I slipped back in non-lucidity.

So I guess I should concentrate on keeping up the motivation to actually do something lucidly - waking up seems not so much the problem atm.
My real life darting has a dip in the moment - so that went to the back of my mind lately - but this whole alien thing with space-ship tourism - I have to!!

Not patient enough here - maybe I'll edit it more extensive - but for now:

Since some days I do around 5 min. of meditation - only watching my breath and quieting my inner chatter - got to write more on that, too.

And - I sleep with a sleeping-mask since 2 days - that might have played a role as well.

And - I read up a bit on Melatonin, which I sometimes use, when I have sleeping troubles - and I found people swearing on it for LD and info, that a dose of 15 mg is completely harmless.
So - 5 pills I popped - I slept altogether maybe 12 h - no other side effects - woke up fresh.


Edit - bit tired I am today - and I have put up a post in TOTM, which I want to put in here, too:

It's not available over the counter here.
But do not worry:

Studies in humans have shown melatonin toxicity to be remarkably low with no serious negative side effects even at high doses (3 to 6.6 g) administered over a period of 35 days.159,160 Nevertheless, minor reactions to melatonin supplementation such as sleepiness, vivid dreams, headache, abdominal pain, and nausea have been reported to occur occasionally in a small proportion of individuals.

From: LE Magazine, January 2004 - Report: Melatonin and Cancer Treatment

You can find the references there.
Cancer patients receive around 80 mg a day in in other studies - and now please consider - it has been shown to be safe in 3-6.6 grams over 35 days - not milligrams. 6000 mg/35 d = 171 mg a day, if they mean 6 g over the whole period and not per day.

There are threads in the supplement department that seem to say, Melatonin does go against REM and lucidity and vividness and should be taken to be able to fall asleep with stimulating other supps.
This is completely wrong. It enhances vividness and is conductive to lucidity - this I read in several places - and my own experience was really impressive.
I had never taken more than 6 mg for falling asleep before - while I can sleep wonderfully like that - it seems not enough to be noticeable in the dream-department.
Of course one instance doesn't say a lot - I will report, once I do it again!
Something else - with ageing - our natural levels decline - maybe a hint at why children tend to vivid and also lucid dreams..?



Stupid just I didn't journal but slept on after my 3 lucid instances - and so I forgot almost everything.

Good that I did a TOTM and doing it I firmly remember:

First I jumped from the balcony on which I got lucid (old house - noticed it!! - yayy!), which was a bit funny cause I jumped and then hung in the air motionless.
And I didn't want to make flying motions or anything - but in the end I did - good ol' air-swimming..
Swam about a bit - then I saw a woman sitting on a bench and watching birds on the ground - colourful ones in the size and shape of sparrows.
They were walking about in rows, which turned and they walked a pattern like that - hard to describe - I almost forgot what I wanted over watching them.
Then - as I had imagined doing it irl - I "remembered" that there was a little knob to turn to open my chest up. After so many people have reported problems with reaching through their breast-bone - I thought, that would be practical - and it was.
I opened up - reached in with my hand - and got to grip a slimy blob - it didn't beat - it quivered, but more like it wanted away from my grasp.
Got it - tried to take it out, but it was quite fixed to blood-vessels - in the end I had to really rip to get it, which felt weeird - not painful - but I felt the ripping. Looked very realistic, did my heart - only the colour was a bit less than fresh!
My DC didn't like that whole manoeuvre at all - she screamed and ran away - me behind her - and in the end, I threw it at her, but I didn't hit her - she was gone then.
I decided this must be enough.


Later in another instance - I tried to phase through a window - but it broke and by that I got pain from the shards in my hands - weird - heart-ripping is painless - but a window causes me illusionary pain..







There was much more - but I'm too lazy now..

So two nights in a row for lucids, two last night. They haven't lasted longer than a few seconds for the last two nights. Guess I need to go back to stabilizing more before I get moving in the dream. I had 5 dreams I remembered clearly but only annotating the lucids on here.

Pre bed - 3mg Melatonin, 500 mg Valerian at 10pm
WBTB - 2mg G, 250mg C, 250mg Val, .3 mg Melatonin. 4am. (usually do this earlier but alarm didn't go off)

1. In a grocery store at a red box. I was trying one of my CC that has been acting up lately (worn out strip) and it wouldn't take it. I ran it over and over again. A couple got behind me in line and this added to my frustration. I looked for my other CC but I couldn't find it in my wallet. I did find another card but it was probably for a grocery store to get discounts. I got out of line frustrated. I turned around and got ready to walk out. I was at the end of all of the check out lines and reached in my pocket to get my keys. I pulled them out and half were missing. This frustration led me to do a RC and I found I had 6 fingers. LUCID: I immediately thought of dog biscuit TOTM and began to walk and whirled out of the dream. This is probably my shortest lucid to date.

2. I was lying in bed sleeping and heard the TV. I thought maybe I was dreaming since the TV wasn't on when I went to bed. This may have been a FA WILD but I am not sure. I had a couple of dreams after the last lucid before this one. Anyways my eyes seemed like they were glued shut or I was just so very tired. I finally managed to get them open and I was in a bedroom. I looked at my hand and saw five fingers, but I wasn't really convinced. I struggled with my covers a lot and then finally managed to get out of bed. I looked at my hand again and thought I saw a faint 6th finger. This was not my bedroom but a bedroom I had at my dads house when I was in high school. No bells went off yet though. I went to the window and looked out. I saw trees and a street beyond them, it was very peaceful outside and still dark out. I tried to look at my hands again and again a faint 6th finger but it was still dark in the room. I walked to the bedroom door to the light switch and on the way there I pinched myself under the arm. Didn't feel anything, but still not convinced. I then turned on the light switch and it didn't work. I looked and there were several different plates. I switched another on and the lights came on. I looked at my fingers now and had seven on one hand. I checked the other and had 7 as well. Lucid: I thought of going downstairs and getting a dog biscuit, again I immediately spun out. Not sure what is going on lately. Guess I need to work on stabilizing a little more once becoming lucid and I am a little calmer.

Today is my 6-month LD practice anniversary, and what better way to celebrate than to get a satisfying late morning lucid performing a TOTM, and a good night of recall.

08:00

+ (earlier waking) I'm moving through a house structure and some guys, at the end I think they want to turn me into a werewolf. Lost lots of detail.

+ I'm with college friends in our old house (WFP). I want to go out for a break from studying. I have a bit of trouble speaking but I eventually get it out that I just want to go out for an hour, let's go get something to eat. I know we have a lot of studying to do, people are not enthusiastic about coming out. I walk into the house and see my good friend housemate N.I. Someone mentions going to Jack In The Box. I say "do you mean the one by SP Blvd?" I think everyone's coming out with us, but it ends up that they just want to put in their order with me and we go out and bring it back. One guy tells me his order, something with chicken, I have trouble understanding his order, we need to pay him back, he said no, (me and NI) already paid him back. I see some young women in the kitchen of the house.

+ In a silver-colored large empty building. It is a hospital. There is criticism of them painting it silver/gray, since when cars drive by the headlights will reflect strongly off the paint and disturb the patients. Also the color is scaring people, it's not white, it's not black, it's right in the middle. I'm standing and looking at it for a while. It makes a silvery shiny reflection inside the building and is not good. Daylight outside, somewhat dark outside, it's completely empty.

I turn around and go to leave, I'm with NI from WFP, there is a rack of equipment and books, introductory books and kits about how to work with microprocessors (like the Stamp chip), I say "hey look at that" and gesture with my hand towards them as we go by, NI then grabs one like he's going to shoplift it. I'm mortified by this, I think we'll get caught, I look for a security camera, I see one on the wall, I point it out to him, I say "there's going to get you." He says he better put it back. I think that it's OK because we haven't left the place with the item yet so it can't be considered shoplifting.

+ I'm in a khaki/tan colored tent, it's completely closed, I'm sleeping in there with some other guy. It's a tall pointy-topped tent. I look at the guy's face, he opens his eyes, the face is slightly distorted, something's not quite right, he has blue eyes, he's freaked out because there's no "outside," I tell him "it's ok, it's ok, outside there is blue sky and sunlight, shall we open the tent and see the sunlight?" He says yes. I zip open the front of the tent, we see the outdoors including blue sky, he's calmed down by this. There are several walkways leading away from the tent, one more or less straight ahead bending a bit to the left, another goes off to the right. There are buildings in between the two paths, it's in some sort of complex/compound.

About 20 feet away down the right path are sitting 3 guys kind of dark-skinned , as soon as I open the tent they get up and head my way. I have a feeling "uh oh this can't be good." About 5 feet away they make demands, "give us all your stuff except for (something)!". They're threatening us clearly. I call over my shoulder to my tent-mate and say "call 911 tell them we're being robbed!" Of the 3 one guy goes off down another path (to head off assistance?), 2nd guy disappears, 3rd guy comes up demanding the stuff. I'm frightened but I resolve not to give him anything. We start struggling/grappling. At one point he's behind me, I reach back over my head grabbing his head/shoulders and lean forwards trying to throw him over me. Doesn't quite work. I think though this guy is not used to anybody putting up a struggle. I think "wow people just give things to him without a struggle." At some point my wife comes by and helps in the fight against the robber.

He disappears, I'm looking over down a balcony to a walkway below (I'm on the 2nd floor). There are Indian (Asian) security woman walking around with guns. One reaches up to me (somehow!) and hands me some things. Some are small gold colored keys, I ask "are these the keys to my room?". "Yes" they answer. They also give me a security key. It's like a 6-inch wide fork with a dozen or more tines. On the left 4 prongs are bent down fully, and one on the end is bent down halfway. "Well no wonder those guys (the robbers) were able to get in, this is such a simple combination!"

They also give me a gun, a 6-shot revolver, and 4 bullets for it. There is something not quite right (vs. a real gun), it has a typical cylinder, a trigger, it's in my hand I feel the trigger, I think "where's the safety?" I don't want to shoot myself or anybody by accident. I'm rotating the cylinder and wonder if I should put it on a bullet or an empty. An empty is safer but on a bullet is ready for a fight. I see a little safety switch on a (weird) horizontal platter behind the cylinder. I try putting on the safety and pulling the trigger and it seems like the gun will fire and think that's a crappy safety, I look to the right of the cylinder and see a larger golden safety mechanism, and that seems to lock up the trigger well, but if I pull it really hard a mechanism lifts up from the platter and the gun will fire but it's much much harder.

I take the gun and go out and have fake battles with it, I point it at some guys and think about hitting them in their arms, aiming for the body since it's the biggest target, I'm jumping over some counter hiding from an Indian (Asian) woman who's after me, I then turn and track her and think about shooting her (don't do it though), and how video games have helped my aim.

+ I'm in an outdoor tent, there's a guy there who's a trainer, I'm learning different technique, I'm looking at him, he's choosing the next thing that I should study, he's looking at a screen with the picture of a staff, and I think "yes! I'd like to learn to fight with a staff!" In a foreign language the item is labelled "lepeshka" which I know means some kind of bread, not a fighting staff.

+ In a gas station? There are gas pumps, a guy there is training how to fight against bears. He's down a ramp and successfully fights off two bears. He says "trained bears always go for the head." Their hands go for your head. You bend your arms and put your arms on each side of your head and hold your head with your hands to defend. You then take "two offensive steps backwards." Then he has me try it. I come face to face with a weird pig-bear thing with no discernible face, it's a snuffling grunting muzzle but tall with brown hair. This thing does grab my head. It's in my face with its faceless snuffling snout I take two aggressive steps backwards and think "is that it?"

12:34

lots of dozing on and off, sleep on stomach at one point and dream, but lucid is on my right side

+ revisited the scene of the tent + robber fight. I'm approaching the gates of the compound from the outside. There's a black guy in leather, not sure if he's security or not. Get in the gate, I "recognize" it as the place of the earlier battle. There's a picnic table with scuzzy low-life sorts sitting down at it to the left, I think "we have to get rid of those guys." There is a big lawn of grey clumpy dead grass. I have a thought about lucidity looking at this grass. I'm talking to the head of security who is a black man (he may be Morgan Freeman), I say "ok this time I want a security room with an exit in the back so I have somewhere to escape if I'm attacked from the front." In front of me is a big red (white window trimmings) multi-story building (3-4 floors tall), convex curved, bending back to the left and right. The next time I look up it's a 5-6 story tall elegant futuristic building with totally transparent glass walls facing the yard. Very elegant / rich quarters I can see. I'm hoping to get a central suite with a great view but realize I probably won't, they're for the bigwigs, there's a suite off to the left with a worse view and I think it will do.

+ I'm somewhere up in one of those suites. There are plates of fancy deserts. I see a jelly-tart with a prawn on it, I take a bite, I realize as I bite that I'm very full and I'm not hungry. It tastes like shrimp. There's a woman eating the same pastry thing I am, I ask "did you taste the shrimp?" She says "it's shrimp eggs." I think it's a bizarre pasty flavor.

+ I'm at my childhood park. I have to get by a robot wielding a giant wrench, I get by it. I'm attaching something to the old metal swing frame, with a wrench. It's some sort of bicycle / trainer. Two older more experienced guys are there, now that this is installed we have to use it, and ride a million miles on it, we'll meet back here "about 1am-ish." There's a van and some conversation with people inside it, something about the C. family and AIDS.

+ Still in my childhood park at the same place. I'm on the middle level, looking down to the basketball courts. Enormous pipes are shooting out huge volumes of torrential raging water on to the lower level. There are giant drains where the water is going down. I see a huge bag full of ceramic planters 1m in diameter getting blown easily by the water across the courts. I go around turning off faucets which shuts off the water. I walk down the left-side path and take a drink from a drinking fountain. I (imagine?) a conversation with the mayor and I mention that I just happened to be on hand and turned off the water. I get down to the bottom and see the bag of planters.

+ I'm in a park/playground, in shade, I see a car and people doing something under the car, (are they trying to steal it I'm thinking), there are lots of people around. I'm following some kids, I see topless boys and girls and am amazed because I know they don't do that in America. I'm walking through a few doorways, in one doorway are the parents of one of the kids, a father (to the left) and a mother (to the right), emerging on to a sandy playground area. I grab the mother and bring her with me, and I realize I'm dreaming. It feels hazy at first and I have to "push" my head into clear lucidity, it still feels hazy, but I get a grip and rub my hands and things stabilize. I have the woman standing in front of me looking at me at arms length.

( I keep rubbing my hands and rubbing my fingers against my palms while I'm talking to her.)
(My first lucid interactive conversation with a DC!)

Me: "Hi, my name's (my name), what's your name?"
DC: "Susannah."

She had short hair. Looked to be about 30. I remembered the TOTM! I'm finally going to get my wings I think!

Me: "Who is your one true love? Who is your soulmate?"
DC: (looks confused).

All this time I'm moving around, slowly rotating, moving around the playground, she stays right across from me at arms length, I'm rubbing my fingers against my palms.

Me: "Who is your one true love?"
DC: "My husband."

I'm satisfied that I've completed the TOTM and relax a bit, and caveman dream me (CDM) takes over.

CDM: (with a mischievous expression) "Have you ever kissed another man?....."
Without waiting for an answer I (CDM?) grabs her chest with both my hands and start squeezing.

CDM: "You have beautiful t*ts"

and I slooowly fade to awake. Nooo! Always just when it gets "good" I remain still and have a full-body tingly feeling and think I could really get back in, but I know it's late in the morning and I want to record.

Date: 11 Feb

Pre bed: lecithin

Wbtb: 1/3+ latte

Was feeling super sleepy and even after the latte and mantras, I knew if I fall asleep nothing's going to happen. So I try to seriously to project my intent forward and expect an ld.

DILD: I mostly have some unconscious moments and then the next thing I remember is that I am involved in this dream in our old place, some scenario going on, but at the back of my mind is this vague thought about lucidity. It's mixed with all the false thoughts about the current dream, but for some reason I decide that whatever's going on is not to my liking and that this is a dream. My dad's walking around as part of the pre-ld scenario and I follow him to the living room.

He sits on the sofa now and I remember about totm. I ask him for a dog biscuit. He instantly hands me something that looks like a rubber dog toy in the shape of a bone. I doubt it's edible and ask him again, where he hands me a smaller version of the same thing. As I examine it, it changes slightly in shape, but I'm still impressed it's the shape of a bone. I ask him a third time, hoping it will finally work. He gives me a small paper package with something like a biscuit sticking from one end. I take it out and it's a bone shaped dog biscuit. I take a bite and slowly chew to feel the taste, it actually tastes pretty nice and fresh, like a normal biscuit and has this very pleasant walnut flavor.

Then, I recall I wanted to ask about true love and ask dad. He doesn't give me a direct answer but addresses the question and makes some rhymes (word starting with o?). Mom is now sitting next to us and I ask her as well. She gives me a long philosophical answer that sounds appropriate, but can't really recall. Then I go back to dad and ask again and he gives me his previous answer.

I go to my room and decide to leave the place and see my friend a few streets away. I'm floating, moving towards the balcony door and open it using tk/thought, another one behind it, open it as well. I think about floating down like this but want to go in the other direction so descend in a hard to describe dream way down the balconies which by then become much longer than rl. I have the feeling that am moving much faster than the dream is building, so slow down and have a quick look at some items in front of me. Only one more story to jump and I wonder from which side it will be more convenient to go - back yard or the street will yield less distortions. The dream becomes shifty and by the time I reach the street, it changes to a different place. I try to bring the old street back by turning around and describing what should be here. The neighbors, this guy's place. I correctly recall he was in the previous dream. Yet, the street remains the same. The dream soon ends. I feel like continuing sleeping, but start to forget details already.

Having not focused on lucid dreaming for a few months, I showed just how easily I can get back into practice by hitting two more in one night. Also, it looks like it helps if I do them on my day off when I'm more relaxed and able to sleep in.

…I'm standing in the front hallway. I know this has to be a dream because I was just in bed, and I confirm this by noting that the hallway seems larger and the closet seems smaller than usual. I wonder what I'll find when I turn around, and what I see is Michael Fassbender. (Yeah, at all those Fassy pictures on Tumblr before bed really paid off!) Oddly enough, he's wearing a priest's roman collar -- must be due to that interview I read about him wanting to be a priest when he was little. The first thing that comes to mind is that I want to give him my heart. How romantic, right? I try to reach into my chest. It's like there's a gap where I can get my hand through, but then I hit a bony plate halfway in that stops me from reaching my heart. I try to think of another way to get my heart out, including the possibility of reaching down through my throat. This is pretty gory stuff, actually. Not what I was thinking about when I set out on this task. I look over Michael's shoulder and there is Benedict Cumberbatch, all dressed up in his tux like he's going to some awards show. And as I look at him, my heart just floats out of my chest and into my hands. It's a large heart-shaped ruby that seems to be glowing. I give it to Benedict and he cradles it in his hands as he promises he'll take good care of it.

At this point, there was a noise outside that woke me up. I checked my watch and realize I have another two hours before I have to be up, so I roll over and try to go back to sleep for lucid dream #2.

I'm walking through work as I listen to "We Go Together" from the Grease soundtrack playing. Wait a second -- they don't play music at work. I see that there is an extra block of aisles where there shouldn't be one and I know I am dreaming again. I look at my hands to stabilize the dream, but my hands start flipping up and down, faster and faster until they're beating like a pair of hummingbird wings. The store disappears and I see a mountain appear, the same mountain that has shown up in a few previous dreams. I start to fly up towards the top but think to myself, "No, wait, I was supposed to do something else."

Returning to the ground, I see my coworker Kathy. I've noticed that she turns up in a lot of my dreams hanging out with my friends even though we barely speak to each other at work. I walk up to her and ask why she keeps showing up in these dreams. She tells me, "Because I represent the possibility. I represent what you could be if you would just open up and try harder." I'm not quite sure I'm satisfied with her answer, but I consider it for a moment. Then I decide to try something. I step into Kathy's body to see what it's like to be her. The mountain appears again, this time completely covered with snow. I remember the bonus task of the month and find myself on skis. I've never really skied before, so it takes me a little while to figure out how to start skiing up the mountain. I settle into a sort of cross-country skiing up the steep incline. I do have to pull myself along at times, but I make it to the top, where there's a flat ledge. Kathy is waiting up at the top and tells me that I did a great job. There's a guy waiting there, too, but I can't make out his face. He stands behind me, takes a linen suit jacket and wraps it around me to keep me warm. The jacket seems more like warm weather wear, though. Since it's not enough, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I wish I could see who he is because I know who I want it to be.

And then my cell phone rings, waking me up.

So I am going through a roundabout where I have a vision of a website saying something about beleiving the dream will guide itself how you want it. I try this but lose focus for a nanosecond ruining it. Then I was finding a group working for a villian thinking of saving the victims and backstabing. The dream told me I my dc's soul mate ( a totm thing) and I think mine is the same person. Now I just have to ask

was I right.

Having a cold - I decided against any activities, except bit mantraing on dream-signs, when going to bed.
But I will do my peppermint WBTB, when I'm able to normally breathe again!

So anyway - I could write a lot around this - has to be a draft now, I am tired.

But the basic thing was - without concentrating on lucidity, let alone the TOTM of skiing up a mountain - I did part of it again - obliviously. The first time I had been non-lucidly operating on myself.
Now - both topics are pretty unusual - I guess there is a connection.

I was back in my dream-sign area of choice - it was winter, and I was out on my own with not regular skis, but ones for ski-walking, or however that is called in English.
This on the background, though - that I wanted to impress somebody by my unusually sporty behaviour.

Normal all - then comes a vertical rock wall covered in snow - and first I think, this is not possible.
It's maybe 8 m high, supposedly something natural - it went right down almost vertically again on the other side, but there it was more like only a very difficult piste - not true 90°.

I went back at least twice, too - after my first adventure - I went into a cosy Bavarian pub and met friends and this guy, and was bragging, that I made it up that wall.

I had taken a run at it, and sort of hacked them in in v-steps, and probably flew a bit on the side.
I took this guy back with me there, he was really fast - and for some reason, I was there later with my mother, and it was dark and cold and dangerous - there were supposedly wolves around at night.
I even saw two - but very far away - and I wasn't afraid for some reason.

What is even freakier - in a following dream - this wall appeared again, but in spring, and it solved itself from the ground, and in the end it was from stone and came "from the heavens".
Had a lot of holes - like almost a web only - and a hermit!!
A friendly old man - maybe 8 m up in the air, in a white bedsheet..

And something else to the side of it - also reaching far up and up - but forgot, what it was, and most that dream anyway.

Unfortunately this dream was the night before the night before last night, and I'm just now writing it down, so I'm heavily depending on the little keywords I'd written that morning…

I'm in the woods behind my house and I see a little hole in the ground by a tree trunk. I crouch down and look into the hole and I see many snakes of different species inside, some moving slowly. I get very excited. A hibernation den! Now I can visit snakes even in the cold months and I'll have them all to myself! I don't reach in to hold any, though, because I don't know if that would be harmful for them to come out in such cold weather. ((The day before I was reading a reptiles/amphibians book of Indiana and it talked about snake hibernation dens, and I hoped that I could find one. So that's where that came from.))

So I walk away from the den and I find another, much smaller one, where I can only see one or two thick, rough-scaled green snakes, like emerald tree boas, though I don't remember if they had pits. As I crouch there near it, a wet, tiny one comes out, and I realize that it's actually some sort of hatchery/nursery. A big one comes out right after, and I'm afraid to move, because I'm afraid that the bigger snake will attack me since it would want to protect its young if it saw me as a threat ((for the record, in the waking world, I know that that's not how it works with snakes)). I move a little bit, and the bigger snake freezes and draws his head in a little, while the baby retreats back into the den. Hesitantly, I stand up to walk away, and the bigger one also goes back into the den. I am relieved.

At some other point, I'm in the living room and I jump up and bend my elbows so that my hands are near my shoulders, and I flap my hands quickly. This causes me to hover, or difficultly fly a bit. I fly around the living room a bit, but that's all I remember from that scene. I think my grandmother might have been there at some point.

At some other time, I'm walking down the street to get to "the end of town", which were the directions which we had given to someone else. The end of town was apparently barren except for a few people living in poverty, with lots of dirt/mud smeared on the road and sidewalk. My Mom was ranting about how we had told someone to go to "the end of town" but we didn't tell them which end to go to, and now they had gone to this one, and now they won't want to go to the right "end of town". After this, we're walking back and a news man comes to interview me, holding both the microphone and the camera. He asks something that I don't remember, and I hop along while flapping my hands so the hops are big and drawn-out, like I'm on the moon or something. I say something sarcastic to him and refuse to answer his questions seriously.

At some other point, I'm standing in a room with a model wooden ship and a man. Out of habit, I do a reality check, and realize that I'm actually dreaming. Remembering the task of the month, I look at the man and say, "who's my soul mate?" He hesitates for a moment, and, disappointed, I think that he won't answer. Then he looks at me and says, "you should sell all your plates." I'm amused, and I don't ask him further. I walk past him to examine the model ship, reminding myself that Im' lucid. However, next, something happens which I don't quite remember, which is so interesting and engrossing that I forget to remind myself that I'm lucid, and I fall back into a regular dream.

At some other point, I go downstairs in this house to find three rooms: a bedroom with a desk, a living/game room with a couch and a TV, and another room with more games and another bed. The living room/game room are connected with different carpet, but no walls or doors. The first bedroom is closed off with a door. Inside the bedroom I find a snake, rough-scaled, with dark green and blue stripes. He's hanging from a stand that you'd give a parrot to perch on. I pick him up and say, "aww" and "you're such a baby" and the like. However, next, I have to put the snake back because my mom calls down from the stairs and says that she's about to show some people around the house, and if I don't lock every door and window before they get to the basement, then she will proceed to show them around, even though I am naked. I frantically go to lock and close doors and windows, and there are suddenly more doors and rooms than there used to be. I managed to lock nearly all the doors, but there is one room that I don't get to in time, so I have to go close the door and lock it while my parents and their friends are in the room. They all stare at me awkwardly while I go in, naked, to close the door. Later, I've locked every door, and, I thought, every window, but my mom leans in through the top of a window to say that I hadn't locked the upper third of that window, because apparently that window folds open and closed and requires three locks.

At some other point, I'm flying through a jungle in the treetops, flying the same way as before. I see some cool snakes, and I get scared by some creepy bugs, and I'm trying to get over the tops of the trees, and at the very top of the trees I find some dopey, fat caterpillars with yellow underbellies and green(?) tops, and they cheer when I go past them above the trees, and they rejoice, saying something like, "finally! a person who's as pathetic as us! Friend!"

At some other point, I'm standing on the top of a tall building, with another man in front of me. Out of habit, I do a reality check, and, again, realize that I'm lucid. Since the last time was sort of unsatisfactory, I ask again who my soul mate is. The man, the only one in the vicinity, looks at me and says, "that guy" without pointing or otherwise indicating who "that guy" might be. Giving up, I jump off the building and try to fly just by thinking about it, but it isn't working, so I flap my arms (my whole arm, like a bird, not just the hands, as it had been when I wasn't lucid) and go higher and higher, and I try to shape shift into an eagle or something, but it isn't really working, and either I fall back into a regular, non-lucid dream, or I wake up. I can't remember.

My memory of the dream begins when I was walking to my garage when I realized I was dreaming. I managed to stabilize , which is usually a problem for me, then decided to try out a couple things I've never done in a dream.
I've always wanted to see what my reflection looked like in the mirror, so I walked into my bathroom where there was a large one. As I walked in, I saw a large orange spot on a contorted face in the mirror where my face should be, so I immediately got out and went back in to try again. This time, my face was normal, but it was hard to see so I moved a little closer. As I did, the mirror started pushing me away! I was rather flustered; it really wasn't something I was expecting. It was like I was fighting against an invisible magnetic force, but eventually I got close enough to see my face clearly. It looked absolutely normal. And when I reached out to touch the mirror, I felt nothing but the cool glass under my fingers. So that was anti-climatic.
After that, I decided to try the task of the month. I decided I'd need people around to try either giving my heart to someone or asking who my true love was, so I decided I wanted to go to my school. But I had no idea how to do it. I tried walking to my bedroom, closing the door and willing my school to be behind it, but when I opened it I saw nothing but the room that was already there. The dream went black soon after that and I woke up.
In hindsight, I really should have fought harder to get through the mirror, because that's something I've wanted to do for a while. I also should've continued into the garage after that; I saw an unusual amount of light coming through from behind it, and for all I know my school was behind it as I was planning on becoming lucid and going there the night before. Also, if there was just my neighborhood or the garage behind it, I could have easily just flown to school which is just 5 minutes away.

10:30 pm
Last night I listened to this to try out dream yoga. I knew it would be better if I tried to do it in the middle of the night, but I couldn't sleep and I wanted to try it out. It was super relaxing and I fell asleep probably less than half way into it.

2:15 am
I woke up to find that the video was still up on my ipad because I didn't turn it off. This got me thinking about LDing again and I had a DILD.

The dream began with me and a girl walking down a hallway of a school. She asked me if I was pregnant (this is one of my dream signs because I always have really strange dreams where I am pregnant) so I knew that I was dreaming right away!

I was excited to explore the dream environment so I ran down the hallway with the girl. My vision was clear at first, but it began to become very blurry. I stopped to look at my hands and I asked the girl to wait for me. She turned around and said, "not a chance." Anyways, I looked at my hands and that improved my vision. I went on exploring the school looking for a DC because I wanted to complete a TOTM. I came across a room full of people and I nicely asked a girl who my soul mate was. She was furious. She got in my face and said, "YOU THINK THAT I WOULD KNOW WHO YOU'RE SOUL MATE IS? NO. I DON'T. ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU SLEPT WITH MY BOYFRIEND." This was not the response I was looking for haha so I walked away. (These DCs really weren't fond of me ) I left the school and outside of it there was a neighborhood. I wanted to change my surroundings so I laying down on the ground, closed my eyes, and expected to wake up on a beach.

Instead, I woke up the lawn of my own house. Sometime after this I lost lucidity because I actually thought that I had woken up on my lawn.