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2.17.14 Monday

Worked 6-10am. Got home, tried a nap around 1pm, but fell asleep, almost. Tried another one at 3:15pm - 4:50pm

DR:
I'm working in this office. There is not much work to do, so I goof off. One time, I float into bosses office with my luch on a plate. He is not happy. Another time, I do something similar.

Then I'm WILDing. Dont remember the first 2, but after each, I tell someone, who is right there. Third one, I'm just standing there with others, talking. I feel like I have another WILD in me, from the way my head feels full. So I just close my eyes and concentrate. Sudennly I see others through closed eyes. I'm moving backwards while standing up, as if someone held me under my arms and was dragging me backwards. I rush back to them and tell them again.

Another person in the office is telling me just to give up, because he is going to be office manager anyway. He got into that office just days sooner than I am, so I'm pissed, that I won't have a chance. I tell him, if he wan't to give up managaerial post without fight, he is welcomed to it. But I'm gonna fight for it.

Some ladies just came for second shift, and they ar happy to see that I have been hired.

There's a kid who's gone down to the docks and started talking to a homeless woman there. He's already seen the events that are about to happen, and he wants be sure he's near her at a certain moment. She's fishing with a stick with a string tied to the end of it. She says to the kid she's "not fishing, just putting out bait."

There's a private party, all women, that's rented out the restaurant at an inn. There's some drama going on and the cook got stressed out and overwhelmed, he took a break in the garden out back and someone else, the former cook, is filling in. He's not human; he's something large, bulbous, vaguely frog-like. At the moment, the human girl acting as a waitress is standing in front of him saying "Um... um... um..." and he suggests what she's trying to say - that the other cook's just about recovered, so it's okay for him to go now - and when she nods gratefully, he takes off his apron and lumbers off. The boss, an elfish creature, walks over to him. In the boss's POV now, I say to him, "You knew staying here would change the way she sees things." That is, the illusions that make the humans see us as human were bound to eventually stop working on her. "Why didn't you say something to her before now?" He sort of grunts.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There's a little girl who's seen a glimpse of a woman in her house that no one else saw. As a disembodied observer, I'm thinking she reminds me of the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, although this one's not particularly old, and she may or may not have a face. I like her. Now the girl's in the bed that she shares with her sister, both of them under the covers, except for her hand. She feels a touch on her hand, snatches it away under the covers, and asks her sister if that was her. The answer is no. The girl peeks out from under the covers and sees that there's no one there. But the moment she puts her head out from under the covers to look around, the rest of the covers are ripped off the bed, and the woman, who was standing by the head of the bed out of sight, says "Finally."

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A man's holding a vial of some kind of virus. He's meant to add a second vial holding some blue liquid to it for some plan that's about to be carried out, but there's something wrong - this isn't the fake that had been prepared, it's the real virus. What happened to the fake? The scene changes briefly to show it back at the lab, where the real virus should be. I switch to the POV of that man with the vial and decide we're going to have to go ahead with the plan, it just means that what we're about to do is less of a bluff than I'd like. I add the blue substance to the vial. Something red like blood forms on the top as the two substances mix.

In a scene I think of as "Five days in," a man is meeting up with someone named Hugh. Hugh's sitting on a dock with blood around his mouth, one arm slung casually over his dog, greets him with "Hey man," and generally is completely relaxed and sees nothing wrong. The man meeting him is bothered by seeing 'immortals so much older than me' losing control.

A fragment involving a city made out of pieces of every road built in the past century.

Went on a fishing trip with my dad. He was on the shoreline and I was out in a canoe. I looked in the water and there were giant fish like muskies, salmon and humongous goldfish. But the water was pretty shallow oddly enough. As I got closer to them my dad would shout out that I was scaring them away but really it was his shouting that frightened them. Then I was standing and a fisher( the animal) started coming towards me. It was trying to bite me and I kicked it in the face. The water was gone at this point and my dad rushed over and let the fisher bite him. It was like slow motion as it sunk its fangs into him arm. He said that it was the only way it would go away. We got into a van and I was freaking out cause it gave my dad rabies. He said he needed to get a tetanus shot because it had the most chemicals to counteract the rabies.

Having a cold - I decided against any activities, except bit mantraing on dream-signs, when going to bed.
But I will do my peppermint WBTB, when I'm able to normally breathe again!

So anyway - I could write a lot around this - has to be a draft now, I am tired.

But the basic thing was - without concentrating on lucidity, let alone the TOTM of skiing up a mountain - I did part of it again - obliviously. The first time I had been non-lucidly operating on myself.
Now - both topics are pretty unusual - I guess there is a connection.

I was back in my dream-sign area of choice - it was winter, and I was out on my own with not regular skis, but ones for ski-walking, or however that is called in English.
This on the background, though - that I wanted to impress somebody by my unusually sporty behaviour.

Normal all - then comes a vertical rock wall covered in snow - and first I think, this is not possible.
It's maybe 8 m high, supposedly something natural - it went right down almost vertically again on the other side, but there it was more like only a very difficult piste - not true 90°.

I went back at least twice, too - after my first adventure - I went into a cosy Bavarian pub and met friends and this guy, and was bragging, that I made it up that wall.

I had taken a run at it, and sort of hacked them in in v-steps, and probably flew a bit on the side.
I took this guy back with me there, he was really fast - and for some reason, I was there later with my mother, and it was dark and cold and dangerous - there were supposedly wolves around at night.
I even saw two - but very far away - and I wasn't afraid for some reason.

What is even freakier - in a following dream - this wall appeared again, but in spring, and it solved itself from the ground, and in the end it was from stone and came "from the heavens".
Had a lot of holes - like almost a web only - and a hermit!!
A friendly old man - maybe 8 m up in the air, in a white bedsheet..

And something else to the side of it - also reaching far up and up - but forgot, what it was, and most that dream anyway.

Okay well I don't remember much because I woke up early and didn't write anything down ("I don't remember much" is quite a common phrase for me lately, huh?")

I'm outside on my back porch and I see a ruby-throated hummingbird flying low near me. I carefully and slowly set down this small donut-bowl-shaped flower-fruit.. thing. The donut part has something like juice in it, and I nudge it carefully towards the bird. To my delight, it takes the bait and perches on the donut-bowl, leaning down to drink the juice. I watch for a little bit, but then I see a small, box-shaped turtle, and it's white with soft, bright, pastel pink. I'm delighted at finding such a strange-looking turtle that I've never seen before. I go to catch it, but then I think, the hummingbird will be gone soon, but the turtle won't be getting away too quickly. I should try to catch the hummingbird first, and then I could have two cool animals to show! So I slowly crouch down toward the hummingbird, then shoot my hand forward and grab it - I'm surprised that I actually managed to do it. Then I go and grab the turtle and go back to the back door to show my mom and dad (since I know my mom loves hummingbirds). When I get there and excitedly show them the animals, when I look at the hummingbird, it is also white and pink like the turtle. At the time, I think nothing of it, except that it's pretty and that I've seen nothing like it, so my mom is sure to like it.

I know there's probably more I could remember if I tried, but I'm lazy, so I'll come back here and edit if a memory comes to me.

BACKGROUND INFO:

Youth American Grand Prix, or YAGP as I will refer to it in this dream, is an international ballet competition held in the US. I competed in it in January in Tampa, FL; but some girls from my ballet studio are going this weekend to compete in Atlanta, GA, so I'm guessing that's what brought this dream up.

~*~
It was the day that we were supposed to leave for Atlanta, and everyone was frantically trying to calm themselves of nerves as we all were at the studio waiting to get one rehearsal in before we had to leave. I, however, was 20x more frantic. For some reason, I had to completly redo my whole contemporary dance today. Right before we left. New music, new costume, new everything. I'd have to learn a completely new routine. All in all, I was freaking out.
Sitting there, in the hallways and waiting for class to start, my friend Kennedy looked over at me and said, "Katya, I still can't believe how you can dance with toenails that long!"
"Huh..?" I glanced down, my toenails appeared to be at normal length.
Several minutes of all us just sitting in silence followed, until I couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, I got up and walked to the end of the hall, leaning my back against the white wall and closing my eyes as I felt tears start to creep out of them. Trying my best to hold in a sob I felt all kinds of thoughts form inside my head.
How in the world was I possibly going to learn a whole dance today?
How would I remember it?
What if I forgot on stage?
I was already not the best at picking up thing quickly...
"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," I heard my mom's voice, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Mm.." I made a sound with my voice, not even sure how to answer. Turning my head, I saw everyone was already heading to class. Grabbing my stuff, I sighed and followed them.

Non-Lucid

It's a couple of dream fragments from the same dream.

My family is in Central Texas, but there's a river there. That never happens. There was a big rock in the middle, and my family is talking about how awesome it is to be back in America.
An image with a Minecraft skeleton in the same river.
There's a badger swimming i n the river.
I'm in a cafe, picking badger hairs off a book.

My mental manipulation to remember a dream worked!

in the rec center parking lot there was a warm safe little boothe that solds snacks. i knocked on the door cause there was some crazy person outside and the girl let me in. i hid inside the box for a while and talked to the girl about the crzy person

later i was in the apple store with colin and a bunch of his hooligan friends. we were talking about buying a computer but we never did.

then there was this race with like a bunch of complicated parts to it. at one pt you had to get a bike and at first i hopped on a clown motorcycle and someone said hey thats not yours. so i got off. then i tried and inflatable bike made out of balloons, but my cousin asked me if i could help pass out invitations to kaylas birthday party which i reluctantly agreed to. i was upset i had to miss the race but had fun making lil cards with my sister.

after the race there was this skkinny asian girl and i walked by saying wow i could really use a massage. then she laughed and said i could do that cuz i am trraining to be a masseus at school. i said sure il give you $20. so she leads me to this circuis tent and i get undressed and am already hard. then she doesnt even massage me but instead take some foams and starts shaving my privates. i was like "okay this is cool to i needed to shave anyway" then she was getting close to the end she starts grabbing my balls and i pull her up for a kiss and shes like "no no i cant" but then she keeps doing it. and idont think we ever had sex but but what an interesting massage

I'm lucid in shopping mall. There are some girls, I make one naked, but I go to the elevator. I want to go to the beach and wonder which floor choose. Intuitively I choosed 8. The door opened and I'm still in building. Somehow I go to the beach. There are some small plants, pineapple I think. There is some being, I'm not sure he is human. We are talking. I think he don't understand my language and I try to talk in English, this situation make me a little bit confused. He ask who I am and I answer I'm human. Then he changed his body? And now be underwater, I coming to him, probably to help him and I woke up.

I forgot to scream my targets name.

2.17.14 Monday

Last night, bed 11:30:5am, watching Thor before bed, also voice skyping with OP

DR 2:35
In a store, shopping cart

DR 5am
I'm on a tour of a factory with 3-4 more classmates. (We used to take tours like this from school.) Tour is over and I realize we can buy some things for good prices, so I walk back and see all the products they have. It looks more like a grocery store warehouse then a factory, because of a sortiment. I see some large tubs of cream chese, and I know I want to buy certain kind. As I'm walking back, I see hot sauces on shelves, crackers, bunch of stuff. I keep walking back to the "good items". Someone tells me tour is over, but he will stay behind with me. Others have left, since you have to leave exactly on time.

Employee tells me, I need to go to the director for some paperwork and he shows me how to get there on a mental map.

I walk outside of the large building, towards the director's place. A female employee joins me to show me the way. She goes for my boobs (I remembered this part in the shower, lol). So I somehow lose her and I sit down nearby. I see an old friend of mine. She cut her hair short. I hope she didn't see me. She is walking by slowly, and I pretend I don't see her. She stops behind me and says mine name, hoping that she is right. I turn around and say her last name in surprise. She really looks different. She mentions some things from our past.

We get together to directors office. It's a small cubicle in another factory building. She (he) tells me, that I have been fired twice before. Once from company called Rakuten, and the other time, when I was a taxi driver in Ukraine, and was late picking up a client. She only tells me this after I insist. I tell her, there is no company of that name in my country, and I have never in my life been to Ukraine. So I figured, that factory rakuten had to be there too. So it was clear, she didn't have the right paperwork.

Next door is some kind of a dormitory. We go there with this friend of mine. She is now both, the friend from old times, and OpheliaBlue. I'm falling asleep and I start seeing patterns and lights. I whisper to her loud "I'm about to WILD". Reason being, that I'm hoping others int he room will stay quiet, and I want to share my joy with her. I don't get the headrush or any transition, but I do get into a WILD. (Possibly just a dream about WILDing.)

As I "get lucid", I start climbing out over windows and stuff. I keep my lucidity for quite a while and every few seconds I tell myself that. I'm quite happy how long I'm holding the lucidity. Then I think "oh, I just thought about waking up, so I will", but I also know, that it will not happen, because I'm a good LDer.

It's morning now, and my friend/Ophelia askes me to give her her thing, that she needs to mail to her dentist. I pull out a small plastic baggy. Two fly-sized bugs or creatures from the bag get on my left hand. In the space between fingers and the thumb. One by one they start to burrow in my flesh. It hurts like hell. I try to pull them out, but I have a feeling, their heads detached and they keep burrowing deeper.

I end up in a large room, that resembles dining hall from Harry Potter. But the tables are not alongsied, but across, like they would be in a library, or a classroom. I know I'm infected from those bugs. Suddenly, these tiny white pustules shop up all over my body. They are perfectly round, and they light up. As if fluorescent. Someone from the desk in front of me turns to me and we talk. I see immediatelly, that she got infected as well. I know that, because she starts to giggle and talk to another person, and that apparently is a sign of infection. The person she talks to get's infected, giggles and talks to another person. Pretty soon the whole hall is infected. Few min later, my spots are gone. Int he back of the hall, there is another room. It's now full of people that are getting into next stage of infection. They are getting bit aggressive and their hands and fingers are getting curled up like claws. Someone unlocks the door with a regular, old fashioned key and one person is trying to get out of that other room. I push the door shut and lock it again.

But just to be sure, I fly up close to the ceiling and exit through some windows. I'm on a street. Sidewalks are covered by some roof. It looks like at the train station, where there are these roofs on pillars. I assume these are to protect people from some flying threat. It could be, that infected people will turn into these flying things.

1. [Non-Lucid]
Me and David are walking through a parking lot in the night, we end up at this silver car, we start touching it for some reason then Gabe Newell appears and says "Careful the alarm may go off", the car then let out a BLIP sound 3 times so we started running away and then the delayed alarm goes off and we laugh to each other.
We appear to be following Gabe down this narrow walkway with fencing on either side.

2. [Non-Lucid]
I'm in hospital, I think I'm having an operation or something, I seem really annoyed and angry.
I'm in the waiting room talking and I get shouted at so I shout back.
Now were in the car, I'm not sat right as I'm slouching so I ask David to push me back so I was sitting straight.

I'm with a doctor talking about my robotic hand (Its coloured white and light blue, Its awesome, I keep grabbing things n pulling things) with another guy who wants 1.

3. [What?!?!]
I'm in the back of a car laying down on my own, Its nigh and its dark, I'm scared I may fall off the seat when I'm Wilding (drinking a green bottle of bear randomly), this problem seems to have gone, So i close my eyes and im so happy I successfully Wilded so I sit up and think I should stabilize so I touch my knee and some other stuff around the car and then I wake up

----------

Possible dream signs:
David, Harness, Gabe Newell, Doctor

I wasn't actively trying to LD for about a year, so I occasionaly had one, maybe once in two months. Now I'm back into it and trying harder. I started about a week ago, doing all the techniques that worked before and also trying new ones, like WILD. I thought I'll be really hardcore and succeed with WILD when going to sleep in the evening, but, well, so far, I'm no yogi .

But what happened today made me question whether I should really be attempting to achieve LD's this way. I woke up at about 5 AM, wrote down my dreams (usual ones) and was happy that I can attempt to WBTB/WILD after having some sleep. So I set my alarm to 8 AM and at about 5:30, I lied down on my pillow and focused on having a LD.

At first, it seemed really simple. In a few minutes, I was having some pretty good HH, It was a garden with a white brick wall covered by grass and some grafitti. I was getting the usual numbness in my hands and (it's always been like that with me) I was able to feel both my "dream hands" and real ones and could decide which pair to move. So far so good, but there was a lot of static in my vision, like when you watch a broken TV. The more I tired to focus on the dream, the clearer it became, until.... I heard a cracking explosion in my right ear and everything was gone, due to me being shocked and waking up.

Alright, I didn't expect it to be that easy, anyways.

2nd try

I instantly tried to do it again. Lied down, waiting, focusing on achieving a LD. This time, it was serious business. But not to me. To the "dream that didn't want me there". In a few SECONDS after lying down, I found myself lying in a different position. I was still completely conscious and was amazed by how fast it works, because I knew I didn't move in my real bed. Good. I tried to get up and found the door to the hallway open. I peeked out of the room, into the hallway. There was darkness and... A gargoyle running at me ! It started screaming horribly and even though I *knew* it was an illusion, it was pretty scary. I stood up and started shouting too (that's what works on mean DCs and HHs ). The gargoyle disappeared (or.. hid?), but I was suddenly lying back in my bed. I still knew it was a dream. Again, I tried to get up. But I was forced to THROW UP on my pillow! At that point, I was so confused that I wasn't sure if I really didn't throw up. I forced myself to wake up and check. Luckily, it really was all a dream .

Is that how you wanna play, brain?

3rd try !

After realizing everything's fine, I lied down again!

... and woke up at 7:59, with no dream recollection. Then the alarm went off.

Damn!

Morning of February 17, 2014. Monday.



The first setting is the house on Barolin Street, where we have not lived since 2008. We are in the living room, but our attention is drawn to the front yard. When we go to the front porch, we notice about six cats, most of them black, all seemingly trying to catch the same bird in our front yard, close to the tall wooden fence.

We go out to have a closer look, mostly to see which cats are ours, if any. After a short time when we are outside looking around, our house changes into a different unknown house in a different location. (It may be the Avon Street house in America, but the details are not correct). Upon closer inspection, I notice that the cats are all clockwork cats. I even take parts of them apart and put them back as their gears whirr and move about and they walk around as such, even incomplete. We go “back” into the house, which is now implied to not be where we are living. An unknown woman, who is married, is cooking food for her clockwork daughters. They seem human. It seems her husband is at work doing some sort of engineering that involves building androids. In some ways, this is like a sequel to my previous dream about the “Ticktockman” but in other ways is not related.

I ask about the clockwork bird from my other dream (though I do not seem to recall it as a dream). I ask her if clockwork creations can actually fly (though the bird did in my previous related dream) in saying, “Have they found a way to do that yet?” I think the answer is yes, but I do not hear all of what is said. The woman is washing dishes as she is talking. It is possible that the bird the clockwork cats had caught was actually their clockwork bird that had gotten out of its cage. This issue is actually spoken of by one of the girls later. Still, there is a sense of disbelief that a clockwork creation of any kind, no matter how complex, could actually fly.

From this point, we go back outside, but from here, it is now my Cubitis home. I have a very clear view of the flowers in the north side, near the darker red iron trellises. I walk out to the shed in back and when I turn to look back through the doorway of the main part of the shed, I see a tall brown bear standing upright just on the edge of the carport directly facing the path to the shed and where I am. However, it is not moving. Zsuzsanna goes near it and I realize it is another clockwork creation that has wound down and would not be a threat even if it was operating, as I assume it is a toy.

My dream changes again. Zsuzsanna and I are now seemingly in La Crosse. She is looking for details on her “real mother”, as in my dream her mother in real life is an imposter. We go to a building that is somewhat like a library (yet reminds me of a tax office in Brisbane), but I believe is a place where they assign orphaned children to a variety of parents in different regions (this is likely related to how we had to show our birth certificates at the counter at the tax office). The woman who works at the counter is somehow revealed to be Zsuzsanna’s real mother through documentation (though she is much thinner and happier-looking than Zsuzsanna’s mother). However, this seems wrong at some levels because the woman, in a friendly manner, denies that she ever had children or lived at certain locations. I remark on how much she is like Zsuzsanna’s real mother in some ways, so maybe she is her mother (which of course makes absolutely no sense as she is nothing like Zsuzsanna’s real-life mother). I mention the voice, accent, and manner. Suddenly, I notice that Zsuzsanna’s real mother is standing there, off to our right, agreeing with me in a friendly, observant way (which makes even less sense than the other senseless aspect of this scenario). In other words, Zsuzsanna’s real mother is commenting on how the other person is likely Zsuzsanna’s real mother because she - is a lot like Zsuzsanna’s actual mother, even though, again, she is not like her at all.

I vaguely consider the play on Zsuzsanna’s mother (though we had not seen her in years) being “taxing”, though without realizing it is autosymbolism or that I am dreaming. At the same time, I know that Zsuzsanna is nothing like her mother, so much so, there is a sense of her having been adopted, which is probably what stabilized the rest of the autosymbolism in this scene.

---

Aspects of this dream, primarily the clockwork bird references and inferences, were prescient, though in regard to something Zsuzsanna had seen that I could not have known about, with additional typical prescience and inexplicable patterns of synchronicity.

---

Fragment:
Something to do with me trying to "Go Ghost" like Danny Phantom. I am semi-lucid. I am in this icy plains area and attempting to do it, and I believe I am demonstrating for this elderly man. I think that the transformation fails.

Boat Surfing
Setup: I am standing up in this very long, thin yellow boat that I can control with an oar. But not by rowing, the oar is actually some kind of electronic neural unlink thing that controls an engine on the boat.
I am going VERY fast (50+ mph) across the surface of some lake. There are people swimming everywhere, and floating in groups sticking their heads out of the water. I do my best to avoid them as I cannot figure out how to stop. I come within inches of hitting people several times.
Eventually, I use the control to rotate my boat very slowly and it begins to slow down. I am coming near the shore and am very glad to have not hit anyone, but a young girl pokes her head up out of the water and doesn't give me enough time to react. Luckily I had slowed down because I could have killed her if I were still going full speed. Now, I had slowed to 2-3mph.
I jump off the boat and the boat becomes beached on the sandy shore of the lake. I try to help the little girl who is crying. I apologize for hitting her. She says something about my dad and I wake up.

#283 - WILD - 7:06AM

I wake from a NLD and go into WILD. It's slow coming so I focus to a point outside of my body.
I feel strange but I am not sure if I am dreaming yet or not. I imagine my feet moving to the floor and instantly stand.

I go into the living room and can see pretty well. The house seems dark but the sun is blazing through the blinds. As I go out, I notice my wife sitting quietly on the couch holding my son. We exchange hellos as I pass. Then, I pause at the front door feeling unsure. This dream is really vivid and lifelike. I ask, "So... Am I dreaming?" She replies but I can't quiet hear her and she seems to be changing the subject. I ask again, "Well, am I dreaming? Because, I am about to go outside like this." I assume I am wearing just my underwear but I suddenly feel like I have a blanket wrapped around me.
My wife says, "Yeah. Because, you had to wait 15 years to get a new engagement ring."
I realize is to total non-sense and that her face looks a little shifty and odd. I say, "Yeah, your talking gibberish. I love you, babe." I then continue outside.

The dream become hyper vivid and realistic once I step out. I enjoy and clear and clear my dream sight is as I walk around. I decide to practice my flying and float up off the ground a few feet. It becomes very windy now and I notice how warm and nice the air feels. As I float up, I look past my house and see a section of the old downtown buildings in the distance. I notice how in-focus it is and laugh because downtown is the other way.

I look around the near by houses and hope that my neighbors will see me and be impressed that I can fly. There is no one around so I let it go. I decide I am flying too slow, so I try a huge downward thrust with my arms to propel myself high up. I hear a low booming sound and find that I am lost in a clear blue sky; there is no ground in any direction.

The void over takes me, but I hold on. I imagine myself lowing down to the ground and feeling the impact on my feet. I begin walking back in the direction of my house until I can see it. The house looks different as I find myself walking up the step on to the porch. The front door is a pale pink color with mauve trimming. When I open the front door the house looks like a version of my parents old place. I decide to try my painting again imagine the art supplies are in the closet under the staircase. I think, Ok, now I just need my easel As I reach for the closet door, I wake up.