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I was on the beach, but there was this Cul-de-sac of ocean water that reached further inland than the rest of it. Around the perimeter of the water was a near continuous boardwalk, and level with the perimeter of the boardwalk was a near continuous row of shops, venues, living quarters, and a hotel. All the buildings were beautiful, with large windows and white stucco exteriors. Their interiors were lavish yet tasteful. There were long planters and potted plants all over the place, filled with tropical plants and flowers. The waters were like crystal, with beautiful, vibrant sea-life. I pitched a little tent in one of the areas where the boardwalk met a dock that was closer to water level, then I went on to explore this community. I spent a great deal of time swimming, as well as sampling many scrumptious pastries from the local bakery.

Monday, June 20th

I. “I’m Leaving All Alone”

This dream felt incredibly real the whole time. Street and store signs were legible, even the labels on bottles. The events in it are even plausible even if not quite likely.

The premise of this dream is that my current gig, supposedly lasting until August but most likely being cancelled in the next week, has ended. I remember a car ride back to Wilmington with some people that I know; I don’t remember who specifically. I am dropped off at a store in Wilmington where I am buying something simple, maybe a bottle of water. I turn around and see S.R, standing at a register but not quite doing anything. I greet her and she looks up at me and her face immediately brightens up. She tells me she’s on her way back home from school and she’s coming through town.

She asks me if I’m walking home, and after brief consideration I realize that I indeed am. She offers me a ride. I remember driving down streets that I thought were familiar at the time but upon waking realize do not exist. We stop at a drive through where the strangest things in the dream happen. First a car at a stoplight hops over a curb and speeds through an intersection, I think to avoid getting into a turning lane. We see this and I laugh, calling it a typical example of how people drive around here. Somebody behind us is yelling at the drive though. I turn around and a dark skinned man is leaning out of his window, yelling “I’m leaving all alone! I’m leaving all alone!” He has a red beanie on.

All of a sudden we’re in another store, and for some reason I’m trying to get a whiteboard for myself and my roommates. I point at a particular one, and exclaim “That’s exactly what I need!” I don’t remember what exactly about it appealed to me. I wake up shortly after this…

To a false awakening.

I am in the bed that I now sleep in, an air mattress under the stairs of an overcrowded house. There is a curtain hung up so I basically have a little fort. Outside I hear C.S talking about the time that I came onto her once. (This is an incident that sticks out in my mind – she turned out to be dating L.P, a fellow musician whom I respect a lot, and am now living in the same house with. He is becoming a closer friend of mine. This incident was awhile ago but I still feel a bit bad about it.) She is talking to somebody else in the living room while I am in my bed behind the curtain; she doesn’t seem to know I’m there. Part of the story she’s telling is true, and some of it did not happen, something about text messages. I listen for a bit and eventually stick my head out from behind the curtain, which surprises her quite a bit, and I say “Hey…look I’m sorry about that.” I don’t remember her reply, only being awake very soon after this.

I was in a mansion, sitting by my sister in a room near an exit. The room had a couch and a hallway leading outside. The room also had a back where I knew a kitchen was. I went outside for a littlewhile and came back in. I wallked in and saw two zombies in the place of my mother and sister. I freaked out and rand down the hall leading out. It was nightfall now. I had the odd feeling that if I didnt move out to a mor eopen space that zombies would over power me. All of a sudden I was on a train getting away from the zombie infested lands. It seemed as if a virus was running rampant and I was one of the few who was to strong to turn into a zombie. The train crashed not to far away from the mansion. Comeing out of the train was an old man and two girls probobly mom an dsister. The dream wasnt making much sense. I was an old man and on the train yet me in the dream wasnt there and still outside somewhere, as if my conciousness shifted to another persons reality. Zombie animals and people where in the woods, we knew we had to get back into the mansion to not be over powered. We where back in the mansion held up in a room. The old man who I was at the time got on a computer and visualized himself as a video game charracter running around with a pipe beating up the zombies. The old man who I was at the time found himself over the bodies of several beaten to death zombies. The two girls stood shoked at how he had defied his age. Suddenly I was one of the girls trying to make it over to the other girl. I dont know weather i was the sister or the mom. I saw the otehr girl and a girl who wasnt in the dream before fall off a platform several stories in the air and somehow get up uningered I was afraid to try. I suddenly saw a ladder and used it to get down. I was somehow myself again. I was viewing the future like a book. I saw that I was in chaper three of the 6 chapter book that was the zombie infestation. It had a picture of a giant cat on it. The 5th chapter said the importants of familly, it had a picture of several zombie boars killing me and ripping me to pieces and eating me. I then entered chapter 5. I was on the ground being attacked by a cat bigger than any horse or any lion I have ever seen. The cat was tearing at my arms and face, tearing off bloody scraps of fleash. Oddly I felt nothing, only the burning urge to escape. I crawled over to a door in a narrow hallway braced myself against the wall and tried to push ta door closed to keep the cat from getting to me. The beast was strong and was slowly over powering me, makeing blood curddling noises that I have yet to hear in real life. Then I found myself with mom, dad and my sister. I knew now that I was in chapter six, where I knew I would meet my horrible death. Mom and dad where cooking, unaware of the zombies all over the place. They sent me out for cooking equipment all the way across the mansion. I want to the middle yard of the mansion and jumped all the way across to the spot with the stuff. I knew that at any moment I could meet my end. I grabed the stuff and jumped back over hopeing I could get inside before my death. I gave the stuff to my mom and dad. THey where about to send me out for more stuff even further in the mansion. I was then talking to Tetra the pirate and her crew from the legend of Zelda. I was begging her to sail me and my familly away so that we could live. She refused and sailed away leaving us to die. ////This was a side chapter in the story. The dream ended.

Woot I didnt die!!

I need to get back to learning how to LD. I'm convinced that, in case i manage to attain serious control over my dreams again, it will help me and my life a lot. For now i'll not post any dreams yet, as i'm still trying to get back to LD'ing. However, i started writing down my dreams again (for myself) for about a week and a half and my daily dream-remembering count is at 4-6 dreams a day.

Just had the thought that maybe it'd be good to write at least a couple of dreams here after tonight.

Me and my dad are standing in what appears to be a bunkbed but with four posts sticking out upwards from the four corners and one in the middle of the bed. A little, black, slimy, octopus looking thing is sitting on the post in the middle (the octopus type thing is about the size of a fist). Me and my dad start trying to hit the octopus for some reason. Once it has been hit, it waits for about 2 seconds and then jumps to another post. This keeps happening over and over until the octopus is on a post in the corner, I hit it again but it just stays there, it doesn't jump away. I immediately think this is bad and dive to the side so that I am lying in the bed. Now, my dad approaches me and starts making fun of me for being scared. I get angry at him, then Jack from eastenders (WTF?? lol) turns up and gets rid of the octopus. I notice a magazine under a pillow and say 'European porn, European porn is better than American porn'. Jack replies 'really?' and I say 'hell yes!'.
I wake up now... THAT WAS A FUCKED UP DREAM

20.06.2011

(WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I woke up from a dream. I looked at the time, it was 6 ish. I decided I would give Free-Falling WILD a shot. I started thinking of stuff, of how my parents had met Maria's parents, random stuff. Soon enough chaos set in, and I made sure to recognize the SP wave. It hit me. I was completely paralized.

I had HI's about my brother asking me if it was 1:00 already, and pushing on my sholder as to wake me up. I couldn't move, and started panicking. I broke away from SP, but decided to hold still, SP set in again.

I felt how I transitioned into the dream, and was able to stand up from bed. I did a RC just to make sure it was a dream. My brother was still in my bedroom. I tried to make him disapear, but I couldn't. Instead I just nicely asked him to let me enjoy my LD, and he left. Being the first lucid dream I've had in over a month, I forgot to stabilize, and to take my time. Istead I rushed downstairs, went outside, which to my surprise it was daytime, and started flying. I then found myself in a residence of nice white houses. I think at some point I decided to put glasses on, to see better x). I went inside a house and tried to make Angel come, I knew she was coming, but then a group of DC's came in and we started talking, eventually I lost lucidity.

So.. I was really unsure about posting this just because it's sort of.. intense. But I decided that it's just a dream and I've posted so many other not-so-pleasant dreams on here so I guess I'll post this one.

Rape
This is my third(I think) dream about a rapist but the first one that involves.. me.

I was in my house when some guy around my age barged in and started chasing after me. I tried to find a place to hide but he chaded me down and found me right away.

Spoiler for a bit graphic:

He dragged me into a room and I laid down on the bed and he got on top of me. I didn't put up much of a fight because I didn't want him to hurt me any more than he already was. I don't remember this part very much, but I know he did the deed and then got off me. He did this twice during the dream.

Afterwards, he acted like nothing had happened and so did I because I wanted him to trust that I wouldn't tell anyone so that he would leave. Unfortunately, he was too smart to leave right away. I tried to get away again but he would chase me down right away. So I just tried to be calm and casual and then he saw the hot tub in my backyard. I asked him if he wanted to go in it and he said yes. I told him I didn't feel like going in and that I would just stay in the house. I promised him that I wouldn't call or say anything to anyone or try to get away, and he actually believed it. He thought we were 'pals' then. So he went out to the hot tub and I quickly locked all the doors so he couldn't get back in. I ran to a room to find somewhere to hide but decided I was safe enough to stay where I was and call for help. I called 911 and told them everything. Then someone else was there with me, maybe a neighbor or something, and the guy was trying to get back in the door as the neighbor or someone blocked it. I was terrified that he would get back in so I held the door shut until one of my parents, my dad I think, came home. I told him what happened and we got in his car and sat there until the cops showed up. It seemed to take forever for them to arrive, but when they did come there was around six of them. I finally felt safe again..

Shopping
I had another dream about shopping for a birthday gift for my friend and I went to mayfair mall with one of my other friends to shop. I had a gift card to Victoria's Secret, which happened to be just a small makeup stand in a Khols, instead of a whole store. I had no idea what to get and my friend was helping me pick stuff out but I didn't really want to buy any of it. Then she just sort of ignored me and walked off to shop for some clothes and I followed her. I went to try something on so I sat in a waiting area with some other people from my school. They were laughing a little at me, I think because I was dressed in a hoodie and jeans while everyone else was dressed all fancy and 'cool'. I laughed to myself then and thought, "Yea well atleast I don't have to go shopping all the time and spend 1,000$ a month on clothes." I was happy the way I was.

Morning of Sun 06/19/2011

200mcg huperzine-a
4mg nicotine
1mg melatonin

Wake @ 2:30 am
Bed @ 4:00 am (so annoying that it takes me so long to get back to sleep)

Dream 1: I was talking to a baby with a really round head, blonde hair and startling blue eyes. At first I was going to pass it by, but I turned back and asked the baby to tell me something about myself. It said, "You are inquisitive and (something about awareness)."

Dream 2: I was moving into a new apartment, in a special complex. My mother was asking about the phone installation (IWL she use to be a telephone cable repair tech.) and I asked her why she wanted to know, because she's retired. She told me she gets called in for special contracts because she is the only one who can do certain types of work...I didn't want to tell her where my new place is, I didn't want her to mess with my phone and there was something with an image of Taylor in my mind when I was talking to her. I was evasive and annoyed because it felt like she was being smothering or invasive.
(***note - later in the day, I felt emotionally vulnerable. I saw some dragonflies over the fence, and my sister remarked that my grandmother had loved them. I didn't know that, and several thoughts of how dragonflies are a meaningful symbol to me and a particular experience with one just before I left the state all converged and I felt my grandmother's caring, guiding presence and burst into tears...my sister was really surprised by my display of emotion. Also, later, my mother came to me in the kitchen and said, "Thank you for being my daughter." which is really different from her usual "thank you for putting up with me."...and we hugged and kissed and I felt very tender toward her (VERY unusual, my mother and I have never been close)..and I spontaneously said to her, "Thank you for being my mother, nobody else could have done it like you." Which seems related to the "special contract" part of the dream. I'm quite pleased with the integration and processing work that seems to be happening!!***)

Snippet: I remember doing an RC by pinching my nose shut and realizing I could breathe but apparently I either don't remember what happened or the lucidity was very brief.

(I know there was something before this but have no recall of it)
I am sitting on the side of a pier by the sea, with my friend kasper and two other boys I have never seen before. We are all in school uniform (DS). We are just talking about nothing much and then two girls approach us and just stand there looking at us, they are also in school uniform (DS). Suddenly I start headbanging for no apparent reason.

All amount to a bunch of really awesome dreams.
If only my daughter hadn't kept waking me up and I remembered it all. Now I'm left with mostly snippets.

There were 2 groups. One was new and made up only of werewolves. They hated the older group which consisted of both. They felt the werewolves should be with them (with the older group, a vampire was the leader).
There was also some sort of infection going around that drove people insane. I guess it turned them into a sort of zombie. The only way you could tell was by having sexual relations with the males and looking at the semen. If it was bloody, they were zombies. In the dream, werewolves and vamps could procreate.
The new group was tested against their will once they were overpowered. They were all clean. Someone got into the head of the new groups leader and showed him that there WAS a better way. Peace could exist between everyone.

A human was with the old group. During a battle she nearly died but the leader saved her. The leader was asked why- the attacker said she would make the leader a perfect mate in the next realm. The leader told the questioner there could be no such joining in the next realm because the vamps are of a different mind and such complete knowledge would completely kill the essence of a human.

A member of the old group was diseased however. He disappeared, taking the young daughter of the human with him. He went back in time and set up raids, killing all he chose. But then the leader eventually found him, some years later. The leader dug a hole and disposed of the body of his former friend.

That's all I recall. I had a role in the dream, but I don't recall what it was. I only remember the gist of an awesome story. Parts I skipped over include a female vamp causing trouble for the new group because he denied his son. He said spirits cause pregnancy, not joining where werewolves and vamps are concerned. He said another made her pregnant but the child was obviously his.
Before the new group was tested, time passed in slow motion. And one of the new members was upset because the woman testing him was like a mother to him.

I don't recall much of the flying dream. There was an accident with an RV. I got lost trying to lead some people to it. I was flying to get a better view.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Good morning! Woke up and felt pissed off for some reason. I was in a very bad mood and I knew it had to be because of something I had dreamt. After a few minutes of probing I only got flashes from random dreams, but when I was visualizing myself being lucid it came to me. I had been lucid and I had done something I haven't tried before. I guess I was pissed because I knew I had forgotten it.

22.30: Sleep

05.10: Fragments
*I'm already lucid and I'm flying. I know I will lose the dream if I don't focus on anything so I decide to fly as low as possible. I keep my eyes downwards and soon I begin to tumble around. I land and look around. It's a barren meadow, like a steppe. There's a tree that has been cut off next to me, I sit down at the remaining trunk. "I'm going to try to meditate" I tell a guy nearby. I have no idea who it was, but he was a smiling fellow. I sit down and begin to levitate. I can't sit in a meditational pose in real life, but here I can do it with ease. I just sit there, breathing, watching the peaceful landscape around me.

*I'm with my friend Henrik in a big building. We're going to a party on the top floor and we take an elevator each. I reach the top and a second later he walks out of his.

*I climb up a tall shelf or something like that. From up there I can see a few puppies. They're whining because they have lava on their paws. I jump down and tell my dad we have to relieve them from their misery. I grab an axe and intend to end their suffering. My sister starts yelling at me, I yell back.

05.10: Wake up

Amount of sleep: 6½ hours

Supplements: None

That's it!

Keep on dreaming, HARE BRA!

Length: Quite a while
Lucid: Only in some parts
Accuracy: Well, it was mostly clear, but parts fadded as I woke.

I was taken to a town. It was a renncoance type town, and very pretty. There was a stone path way with different buildings and stores. Lights hung from building to building like Christmas lights. It was night time. The whole dream was night. Now, I don't remember who took me, but I remembered why. They said I was a were-wolf. That I could turn into a wolf, and this place they would keep me^ forever so I could train to shift and work for them. I joined a group of about 20 kids, all my age at a carnvial type stand. Like when you go to a carnival and you see all those carnival games? That type of stand. They wanted a health-check to see if I really was a were-wolf and they checked my teeth of all things.

So I passed and then we were all taken to a feild. As we left town the area became more like the country. Big corn feilds we passed as we hiked down a dirt path. Soon we stopped at a huge feild. Just a huge green grassy feild. A small ruin castle was near us. We were to begin training as wolves he.

Our first assignment was to build a fort and crouch behind it. I remember thinking how odd that was considering it was a feild and I didn't have a fort by time, time was up. The man training us was very stern and cruel and he said pretty much that I sucked and to bad.

The next assignment was A game of tag. It wasn't like normal tag because when the other person found you, you could fight them. It was to "help our wolfish senses". The game of tag I remember was extraordinary because you could run as long as you like without faltering or tiring and you could do these flips over people. When I got raged I easily fought off my opponent in the ruin castle. I was invincible! Now by this point in the dream, I had fully excepted that I was a shape-shifter and I would be staying there for life.

The last thing I saw before my dream came to end was another group of older kids in the corn feild. It was another group of were-wolves and we watched them shift into wolves and it must have startled me so much I woke up around 10:00AM

I'm not into twilight and all, by wolves are my favorite animal so I think I might have an idea where my mind got this one from XD

Shit! Don't move, don't open your eyes! Stay...stay...
Back to sleep.

Alright! I'm back in my old house, and fully lucid! Time to go! I think about Spartans and head down the hallway. I go into the bathroom. But, there's no bathroom. I'm in Sparta. Shit! I need to think more specifically when I use the door method! I now head out, and see an absurd door. I go in, and there's a dark, dark room. I go in further. Then, I hear giant footsteps. I then, awake! SHIT! I hear real footsteps now. Dammit! It's my damn brother. His obnoxious footsteps woke me up. I try to DEILD again, but it's no use. I don't feel the leat bit tired. Damn!

I find myself at school(DS). I'm sitting by Red, and Sean. We're sitting at an unusual table set up, in a classroom(DS) we've never been in(dreams do that :rollseyes: ). We are all waiting for class to start. I oddly have a giant tin filled with Pokémon cards(odd). Red sees them. He then takes the tin and opens it. He looks in it, shaking his head pitifully.
"That's just sad." he says. He's really starting to piss me off now. I take the tin back and close it. I then hide it under my pencil pouch. Although, the pencil pouch isn't good cover though. As you can clearly see the Pokémon pictures on the sides of the tin.
"I'm trying to sell these so I can get money to fix my guitar." I say(Let the record show, my Epiphone Les Paul Junior does need a neck adjustment.). He shakes his head like he thinks I'm lying. Whatever. Be an asshole Red. So now, class is in session. The teacher assigns us partners(I have no damn clue who the teacher is...I've never had her). We now go sit down by our partner. I take my things and set them down at my new seat. Then, they just like magic, spill everywhere. Shitpaste! The tin now slides off the table and all the cards spill out. SHIIIIIT! Now, Aaron B. picks up the tin. He begins to laugh. Shit! Shit! Shit! "I'm just trying to sell the fucking ards because I need money. For God's sake! I don't even watch Pokémon! And I haven't collected cards for years. Yea, I play the games...but asstons of people do!" I say(not my exact words, but very close). Then, Brandon M. sets down five dollars.
"I'll take them." he says with a chuckle.
"Five dollars is NOT worth all of those." I reply. So, he takes his five bucks and goes away. Aaron starts to clean up the cards.
"This day just keeps getting fucking worse!" I say(those were my exact words that time).
Now, I just leave. There's conveniently a door in here that leads outside the school(DS). I get on my knees and start to cry. Why the hell is this happening to me?! I just ruined my life in under a minute. As if my life wasn't fucked up enough(I'm currently experiencing real life divorce, and my mother is a cheater)! Now, Lauren M.(DS) comes outside. Oh fuck! This really sucks now! I can't let her see me balling(Thank God this was a dream...but of course, I don't realize it...yet). See comes over to me. Go away! Please don't look at me like this! See pulls me up from my fetile position, and hugs me. I settle down. Why is she hugging me?! Does she feel bad for me? Wow. I feel lucky to have such a close friend. Now, she brings me to her home(I honestly don't know where she lives). The inside of her house oddly resembles the FCS classroom(DS).
"You should take a bath and relax yourself." she says. Okay. I go into the bathroom and start the water. I unclothe and sit down. At first the water is really cold. Shit! Cold water! My Jusenkyo curse! I now turn into a girl. Oh crap! Not here! I get out and reclothe. I see there's a window. I jumps out. Shit! I left the water running! Then, before I go back in, I hear knocking on the bathroom door. Shit!!!
"Hey! How's it goin' in there?" Lauren asks. "Um...hello?" Now, she opens the door. I run away from the house now. She screams, and it's really loud. I now run all the way to my old house. Phew! Safe(Odd, my house is probably miles from hers). I now go to the back yard. I see the back yard has been converted into a beach. There is currently a party happening. Hm. I'd like to go swimming. The water feels really good. Good thing I was already in girl form! This water is cold! Soon, the waves start pulling me further out. Shit! I resist and try to walk back to shore. These waves are fucking strong! Then, I get knocked over by a wave. Damn! I dig my hands into the sand underwater and pull myself in. I eventually reach shore. I walk over to a big basketball hoop that's set up. Behind it, is about a 6 by 6 pit that's about 45 feet deep. What the hell is that there for?! Now, a little kid, probably about 6, starts playing by it. Me and some other dude start bitching at him to get way from there. So, we now find a bunch of objects and place them around the pit. There, now he'll be safe. Now, I go inside to see what else has changed. Well, new furniture and arrangements, but oddly, all the rooms are in the right place. I go into what was originally my parents room. I sit down on a couch with some party-goers. I begin to think about the horrible events of today. School(DS), and Lauren(DS). Then, it hits me. What the hell?! This...is a dream! Ha ha! How convenient! I now smile. I head back outside. Everyone is talking about two NASA ships that are about to take off. And not to far away either. Cool! So, we now see two ships fly up into the air. I notice an oddity though. The two orange jets and the big white jet that are attached to them both aren't working! Now, both ships fall back. Oh son of a bitch! Now, we see two HUGE explosions. Oh fuck! Now, the explosions rage through the houses towards us! No dammit! No! Not now! I need to do the 300 TOTY! I need to fly! I get ready to jump, when the flames sweep over us. I awake. SHIT!

6-19-11
Bear's halloween costme is a dog and owner. Large elaborate dog costume mostly gray and black body paint and a dog collar. People wonder if there some kind of psycho-sexual compnant to it. I have the song 'city of new orleans' stuck in my head.

6-20-11
Lost Oakleys
Riding in the 4runner with R. He is driving. My wife is riding in the back seat. He puts an expensive pair of sun glasses back there and later can't find them. Later, he calls her to tell her that he has to help him pay thousands of dollars for new sunglasses. After he gets off the phone with her. I find the sunglasses on the floor of his truck. He takes them and puts them on without saying a word. It pisses me off that he won't say sorry or thank you or that he even tried to get her to pay for them in the first place but I just seethe.

New House
Driving through a neighborhood for the possibility of a new house to buy. The one we look at is very cheap but a hole as been blown entirely through one side. The hole looks like a wrecking ball has come through. It's white on the outside and the inside has an unpainted light brown/gray look to it. The house was formally owned by a former friend who abandoned his wife after she got pregnant with her first kid. Though you can see sunlight coming in through holes in the ceiling, the house is fully furnished with stuff that looks like it came from other old houses. There is a poppazon chair and a matching set of old green love seats. Also in the living room is an empty Entertainment console with a few wires that connect to nothing.
I walk into a second room and there are several bookshelves, half full. On the shelves are several novelizations of comic books and a few special edition comic books, including a signed edition of the death of superman from 1997 and full bound set of X-Men novels that don't exist, including the first 2 movies and then Wolverine the movie, and the sequel, Wolverine Unbound. I start putting a few of the books in my bag.