All DJ Entries

I got some news that my parents were seriously ill and were going to die very soon. In a way it was nice that they were both going to die together as a couple, but was so horrible i couldn't do anything about it. I live far away so i had to some how get to them to see them. I got on a bus and started to travel to where they were, but i missed my stop and got off at a really rough area. I wanted to find the bus stop that went in the opposite direction to go back but in order to do this i had to make my way through this rough area.

I was getting chased around these really horrible buildings, they were old, grafitied and run down. The group hasing me caught up with me and started beating me up, the beating wasn't so bad that i was getting badly hurt, but there was just so many of them, doing different things to me to hurt me. Plus i was getting held back from getting to my parents. My phone then rang and there was no one there, but i pretended to start crying like something terrible had happened, some of the gang then felt sorry for me and told me to run.

I then managed to catch the right bus i was going for, a number 18 bus, but then the driver who was on it was wearing a mask, i then realised he had stole that bus and was now kidnapping me. I paid 50p for this journey like i was paying a real bus driver. I then managed to push the emergency stop button and ground the bus to a halt. I held my back against the bus driver cabin so he couldnt get out and i reached over and grabbed all the money from the drawer. I broke open the door and ran off.

I ended up back at the place i was in the beginning, where the gang were. But somehow i was drunk and i started to beat them up. I then met some other people that were trying to get to where i was, and instead of fnding this bus stop we got a taxi to where my parents were.

I got to the hospital and i was a cleaner there, i was going through the wards emptying bins until i got to the ward with my parents in it. The nurse then told me i was too unclean to be able to go near them, i was heart broken. but then there was an option to wear a wrist band that killed germs on me. At this point my parents seemed happy and were sittng up in a day room.

Throughout the whole dream, i kept going back to the room where my dying parents were. Its like i was having two dreams at once.

I was also making sure that my mothers mother could visit her as they never see each other often.

I woke up at 3.30am or so. I think waking up an hour before my wednesday alarm is becoming a bit of a habit with my body clock. I should try and make the most of it and achieve some sort of lucid next time.. I remember the dream previous to waking up but made no note of it, so I can only recall the dream that occured between 3.30 and 4.40.

My sister had been upset cause her dogs had died, but she never had dogs in real life, but in this dream she did. Then later on she got 4 new dogs. I remember looking at them thinking they were a recognisable breed and that I should try and remember them so I can look them up later. Thinkin back on this, it seems like I was sort of lucid because, I was thinking I should google the dogs so I can show my sister. Maybe I wasn't.. I don't know. She was sitting on a kitchen floor, patting one of the dogs bellies and the dog had a big wide smile. Its head was abnormal and smile so wide..
Later on towards the end of the dream the house seemed bigger, and I recognised now it was a mansion. I was feeling happy cause it was an exciting feeling to own and be in such a big house.

Going to give mugwort a try soon hopefully and see if this improves any recall (I think my recall is rather bad lately) and also give me some strange dreams or even lucid..

notes - non-lucid - lucid

01-09-10 I am making pancakes, I forget to add flour and the result is obviously not great. I tell my mum that I forgot flour, she still thinks it will fail (thanks mum >.<). I didn't care I knew I could do it.
…
This might be a continuation or a separate dream
…
I have spent the night at my parents. The key to my flat is being taken to the owner of the building, which means I have to stay in Hornslet, this annoys me so I decide to eat some cereal on my parents expense. I tell my mum that I am disappointed, not in exact words but by repeating what she said in a depressed tone of voice. She says all I have to do is go to the shop and meet Lars who will have the key, I repeat this mentally to myself and then Lars appears, no one is saying anything to him and he is wearing a stupid hat plus not all of his hair is grey, I find this odd, but not enough to induce. He drops the keys on the table and write something on a piece of paper, I check out the piece and it is a “to/from” card normally associated with Christmas. This is weird, I grab the note and start writing my own stuff. The funny thing is that Lars and his wife have just repeatedly written “to” and “from” throughout the months (note: it was written in Danish, one of the rare times I dream in my native language). I realise it is a weird game he is playing with his wife, I don't want to interfere, so I erase what I have written on it and put the paper back on the wall. Mental note I had written Caroline in one of the boxes.
…

(WILD) I wake up, I am lying on my back, I am positively sure I just fell asleep on my stomach. Damn what if I am waking myself up here. I quickly open my eyes, I am lying on my sofa. Come again!? The sensation of SP is gone, I know I am lying on my stomach in my bed, sod it I'll risk it I open my eyes and check my fingers, Ooooohh seven fingers on one hand, surely that is a record. Hang on the scenery is amazingly vivid, this actually looks like my flat as it does in real life. Telekinesis is off, are you sure that you are dreaming? Check the hand again you fool! Ah, two of my fingers are merging, good still dreaming. Vester you are an idiot, would you just accept the god damn fact that you are dreaming, trust your powers and fly out the window already!?

I fly out the window, the buildings in the streets have changed instead of being constructed of red bricks they now have grey grained surfaces. Interesting I think, they look amazingly real. I decide to fly right this time, then up I look at a parking lot with a lot of cars making sure I really use my senses in order to stabilise the dream as much as possible. I turn around and start flying left, I need to find something I can do, how about finding a small hotel, surely that has a lift in it. I take a left and see a small bar, it looks like it could have been a hotel at some point so I decided that it will be my target. I land in front of it and as I see a man sitting outside drinking a beer I decided to take a quick detour and ask him my dream name. I ask, after a bit of a break he replies “I really don't know”. Gah never mind I have other things to play around with, I walk through the bar expecting to find a lift. I get a bit of a brain freeze from thinking about if the dream will recognise if I use the word lift or elevator and what meaning it will have on the task, but decided that it is irrelevant. I walk through the corridors and in the end come to an old looking metal door, here we go! I walk in in a strange shaped room, the floor is covered in a carpet typical of lifts/elevators. There is no controls, but a manage to summon 1 button on the wall. “One is good enough I only have one destination anyways, atomic world it is!” I press the button.

The lift start moving, really slowly, come on Vester can't you make this thing move quicker!? nope, no go, damn I really need to practice dream control, especially the whole manipulation of my surroundings part. As I think about how I want to spot the holes in atoms so I can surf the particles in wave form I notice that the walls of the lift are starting to close in on me. I think to myself “great you moron so, the way you decide to go to the atomic world is by having a freaking lift squeeze you to the size of one!?” I stand there for some time, but I then see that the patterns of the walls become blurry, the dream is destabilising, I touch them, make sure I really focus on them, rub my hands, however nothing works and I wake up.

31.08.2010

A few fragments (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I went to bed pretty late and slept through almost the entire night. Odd for me, I know. I am sure what belongs to each dream, as they are fragments, I post them all mixed up.

- Outdoors.
- Day.
- Music.
- Enjoying with some friends.
- I felt good.
- Going home from wife's work.
- All downhill.
- I saw a white mountain and told my wife it was very cool. She told me it was due all the lakes around. The mountain was beautiful.

Missed dream sings:
- The white mountain.
- The lakes in San Diego (do not exist)

What I would have done if lucid:
- Head for a ToTY.

Last night I had no true recall. I attribute this to the fact that I must have slept deeper then I normally do because of a certain partnered action. I also decided not to perform WBTB so as not to bother my wife while she sleeps. I think I'm going to go back to attempting Stephen LaBerges MILD technique while utilizing a day journal to help me incubate dream topics. I've decided I am going to focus on doors, primarily. Anytime I walk through a door I will stop and comb it over while performing a reality check. It'll be tough to integrate into my daily routine but if effort is my only barrier than effort I shall put forth.

As always: wish me luck.

★★★★

Notes- i am surrounded by cops. They shoot me in a parking lot. My head rests in Asuka's lap, another blond woman comes to comfort me in the dream, maybe Shawna.

- I am with Nomad in the middle of a battle. He is swirling around as various rainbow colors and turns into a dog.

Don Juan Describes Initiating an apprenticeship

I am with don juan. I can't really recall where we had this discussion:
DJ: Tell me about the man you met.
Me: Weeks ago I had seen a psychic, Someone who can see spirits. She told me I would go to a place called Pine lake, and that there, I would meet a mentor. I wasn't sure what she meant by mentor, that could be anything, money managing, music or anything else... My last guess was that he would have been that he would be a sorcerer. I had no idea what pine lake was at the time she had told me,but nonetheless my brother invited me there a few days later, That was something which was impossible for me to ignore.
Dj: You followed that action without question then?
Me: Yes, That is until I saw him. When I saw him I KNEW he was the man I was supposed to meet, But I wasn't sure. I Hesitated before even talking to him.
Don juan then hit me on the back. We were now floating over a familiar scene, which looked like a dream representation of the campground, many details and places were out of place, but nonetheless it was the same. I saw myself sitting on a bench at an outside cafeteria, close by were some doors leading into a music hall, on the other side was a short hill leading down towards two baseball diamonds where a couple baseball games were going on. I was seated on the lower seat, and sitting up higher on the bench and resting his feet on the lower seat was a man with long black hair, tied in a ponytail. He was dark skinned, He could have been any number of races. Don juan said that he looked almost like and ancient meso american indian. I corrected Don Juan as to the man's supposed true race. Don Juan said that I myself have read some of that races mythological beliefs and that some of it lined up uncannily with his lineages knowledge. He said either Casteneda had read those beliefs and put forgeries into his books, or that the two races weren't two races, they had an ancestral heritage. He then mentioned that the people of old, before the age of reason, Traveled to every continent on earth and settled in many places, Including entire lineages of sorcerers. We watched the scene some more, Eventually I got up and walked away.
DJ: Why did you leave him sitting there, when you knew he was the man you were supposed to meet?
Me: I wasn't sure. It was a flight response, I didn't realize it at the time, but in the back of my mind was "Is this REALLY REAL?"
Dj: You should not have hesitated to approach him. Such hesitation could mean life or death in an act of sorcery.
We coninuted watching the scene as it shifted. I was back at the bench by myself watching the man who was inside the entertainment hall. He was walking and and a dog brushed up to him.
Me: I remember that! Before the dog came I was just thinking he was the one whom I was supposed to meet.
Dj: That was your omen, and yet, you just sat there. It was an omen for him as well in his own way.
Then scene shifted again, This time I was walking out of the music hall and the man sat on a farther bench, He was calling to a small black dog that looked like a cross between a black lab and a weiner dog, But the dog ran to me instead and I bent down and petted it.
DJ: That was his second omen.
Me: I knew it was for him as well.
DJ: Then it was an omen for you as well, and yet you still didn't approach him.
The scene shifted, to me standing close to the stage in the hall watching a band, and the man behind me roughyl 10 feet away. He kept looking at me. My energy body reacted and sprouted wings... but they weren't wings, more like tentacles that came from my back where wings would be.
DJ: He was seeing you then, You put on a display for him and he caught it, you had him more than intrigued at that point.
The Scene shifted to a merely empty hall in between bands. I finally approached the man and sat down beside him. As if on cue a black dog approached me, I petted it and said to myself "well, aren't you the messenger?" The man then laughed. and we began a dull conversation. I then meekly told him the story of why I was there. The man looked shocked, and then changed the subject. I excused myself saying I was going to my campsite. He walked with me until we came to the point where the main camping area was, which was downhill. My camp was on the other end behind the baseball diamond. When i continued walking the man looked confused as to my leaving
DJ: You are much like Carlos used to be when I first began to teach him. All this time the man thought you were a Sorcerer like him, because he thought you could see. He saw all the omens of you being a Nagual, the dogs and your display of control over your own energy body, He even heard you mention why you were there and who you were supposed to meet, and then he knew he was going to be an integral part of that. Much of what was said in your conversation was meaningless, by then the Nagual had taken control of the situation. He thought you could see, he was going to give you a demonstration of what he knew... and then you left. And that baffled him, Much like I was baffled when mescalito took a liking to Carlos... Here was an idiot insisting on an overindulgence in talking to himself, and constantly anylising everything to the point of nausea, and yet mescalito played with carlos like they were childhood friends. That's how baffled that man was, at an idiot over indulging in hesitation, even inspite of the fact that the spirit is screaming Omens and trying to get him to act.
Again The scene shifted. In the scene i had mustered up the courage to confront the man, I was standing at the other doors to the hall mingling with people, and then looking over at the man a few times, letting him know that I was ready. The man left the building, while I was still talking to him. He then turned around and looked at me for a second until I noticed him. He began walking further as I followed behind him.
DJ: He was trying to grab your attention with his eyes, he wanted you to follow him for sure this time.
The man walked down a small hill into a valley where most of the camping took place. He quickened his pace to his campground, sat down by the fire and kept to himself, he seemed to be focusing on something. I followed down the hill a mere seconds after looking for him, I wandered close to his campground only separated by.... nothing. In my memory there was a trailer, but in the scene were was none there. A sleeping dog got up and walked in my direction. It stopped and faced me. It's actions were very deliberate. It gazed at me, I stopped in my tracks, backed up a step or too and looked again. The dodg shiften out of sight and came back again, Then I leaned forward slightly, eyes wide and said a low "WOOOOW!" I then turned and walked away.
DJ: That's what what he came to do. He knew the spirit had pointed you out to him, but that you needed to be pushed. He sensed that you were unsure of the encounter, so he had to act fast before he left. He had to hook you, and that's what he did. He Used his intent to shift your assemblage point, and then he used his double to inhabit the dog. You've heard of Lonewolf speak of similar things when he talks about using the assemblage point of a coyote, and how a coyote will lend it's body to someone willing to shape shift into it's form. Although, there is no real shape shifting involved, The dog lent itself to that man, just like your dream body lends itself to your awareness, or can lend itself to any other dreamer. You know all this of course, but haven't articulated it yet, but you will.
Me: Did he hook me like you hooked carlos?
DJ: ina sense yes he did, But, he wasn't as aware of exactly what he was doing as when I was when I had to hook Carlos. The Nagual has a funny way of making sorcerers dance with one another, All participants are sure they know what they are doing while they are doing it, and yet the nagual guides their every move. In order for that to happen, they have to make themselves available to it. One way is following omens or signs of the spirit, which is what you both did. From that point on, the Nagual was running the show and palying you two baffoons like puppets to do it's will.
Me: He seemed pretty controlled of his actions to me, and he acted witha precision I have never seen anyone else on earth do.
DJ: yes, It may appear so, but that only means he has a cleaner connection to the spirit than you. He calls the Nagual or sppirit with different words. He will teach you them someday.
Me: If he does, we barely have any way to contact one another again.
DJ: Power Provides. Both of you are hooked into something now which is hard to escape from. Both of you have the intent to meet again. He may deny it to himself right now, in the same way in which you hesitated, but eventually you two will have to meet again, it's inescapable right now.
Me: Why did you call him a baffoon.
DJ: He was only a lot better than you at covering up his hesitations and doubts, He's been trained to do this in his spirtual practice, He's a baffoon because he's not 100% sure of himself, just like you are not 100% sure of yourself. I suppose that's why you two are well matched. But still He made himself available to the sppirit and he served as a catalyst for it to descend on you, That's his advantage over you. That is what you may have learn from him someday. If he ever teaches it. The only thing you can do for now is set your intent to meet him again, but Ultimately he decides whether or not you will meet again, He still has the power of choice whether to ignore the spirit or act with it. In a way he is hooked too.
Me: I am definitely hooked. I can't get my encounter with him out of my mind. and Now I see signs of the Nagual wherever I turn.
DJ: That's good then, You are oing your part. You should that hope he does as well.

I hate being in school dreams which is why I will not write about today's dream rather just write this down instead.

First intentional LD since i started practicing. Yay!

I cant remember where i was but i start dreaming about dreaming and gradually became lucid... it wasn't instantaneous which was weird. I am now on a dirt path in the middle of a green field. i somehow know the area and start walking down the path, but i was VERY heavy and could barely even lift my head. i turn and walk down to an open field of grass. A truck of people i dont know pulls up to my right and they all get out and start making noise. a few of my friends from grade school come up on my other side. Since im lucid (which makes me very happy) i decide to make the noisy people disappear. i turn away from all of them and try to believe there not there, and it takes two tries, but when i turn around they and the truck are gone. my friends look at me in amazement and i laugh. i look at the sky and try to will myself to fly but it takes much to even think about it (my body is still very heavy) and i look back at my friends. One of them said something that annoys me, and i jokingly say "dont make me create fireballs!". but it sounds like fun so i start trying. I didn't try to believe they were on fire like i should have, but consentraited very hard on them. my hands turn yellow but then i lose the dream (i think because i was focusing too hard) and wake up. I woke up in a single train of thought from my dream to being awake, and thought, 'darn, i woke up'. It was fun.

My college friends and I have gone to the apartment of the children's musical group, the Wiggles. Part of my dream-self expects their place to be brightly colored and the Wiggles themselves to be dressed in gaudy clothing. When I see them, however, they are dressed in solid black robes and topped with Spanish priest hats (birettas). They look serious and even epic, although they maintain a sense of good humor as we visit. Eventually we start to play improv theater games, and they guide us through some tips. My friend Q is advised to be "more like Morgan Freeman" for his dramatic entrance.

Type: regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My family and I were going on some sort of road trip, and it was in the afternoon. The first thing I recall about this dream is that we were pulled over to the side of a long highway with no other cars in sight. There was, however, a farm-like setting along the side of the road. There was a tall white wooden fence surrounding the massive property our van was parked in front of, as well as a couple different barns inside the property. They had the average wooden walls with red and white colors, but flat roofs instead of the rounded ones, which were also made of wood. I could infer this without actually seeing the roofs.

I didn't look back at the van, but my mother, sister, and I simply walked a few feet and got to the farm property. The stakes in the white fence were extremely far apart, so it was easy to enter. There was an upside down L-shaped post with a hanging wooden sign, painted yellow. It read "welcome" in white letters. When we passed the sign, there was a sharp turn to the left, and a narrow path leading directly into a very large barn. On either side of us was the same type of fence, wide stakes, except it was the height of my waist now.

We passed a few people on the other side of the fence; one was a girl wearing a cowboy hat, and she was probably around twelve years old. She was also holding a small horse under her arm, as if carrying a pillow. The horse's legs were pretty short, and it probably weighed only seven or eight pounds.

We arrived at the large barn. The tall rectangular-shaped door was open, so we walked inside. It was big inside; I'd estimate it was at least one hundred feet long and at least fifty feet wide. At the entrance that we came in, along both sides of the barn were stalls; inside them stood horses. I saw hay piled in a few of them as we walked down the barn, and once we got around halfway there were no more stalls against the walls. At the end of the barn, there were three square-shaped holes in the top of the wall, around four by four feet. There were long rectangular planks of wood, placed parallel to each other, going upwards to make stairs.

That was where we'd be sleeping tonight, and I knew it was getting dark. I was the last person to crawl up the stairs and into the small attic-like room. It was tiny, probably half the size of a kid's bedroom. There was one king-sized mattress on the floor in there, and there was only a bit of actual floorspace left to put our belongings. "I'm not sleeping in here if this is how small a room it is," I whined.

Note: The final presentation is done and over, so the only thing to do for now was to try to get my dream control and recall back So with every intention of recalling dreams tonight, no special plans except to relax a bit after working so hard, and an attempt to WILD, I fell asleep with my light / sound machine on. Unfortunately I was unable to get into my WILD…

I was on a beach, it was nearly sunset, and the only sounds I could hear were the sounds of the waves hitting the shore, the cries of seagulls in the distance, and the sound of a gentle wind blowing in off of the ocean. The scene was very relaxing, which felt good. Even though I didn't realize I was dreaming, I still felt a need for relaxation and rest, so I sat down on the warm sand and stared out over the waves and into the colorful sky with the reds and oranges of the sunset, it was beautiful. I'm not sure how long I sat there and relaxed before I sensed that I was not alone there, there was someone else on the beach with me. I knew I wouldn't necessarily have the beach to myself for long, but I did want to see who I was sharing it with, if it was someone hot… someone creepy… someone with a dog… a psychotic looking clown… yes, that thought did enter my mind… What I did see when I turned around was an older man, he didn't look threatening or psychotic, he was by himself, he looked like an American Indian, and he was gazing off into the sunset just as I was. So I turned my attention from the man and back to the waves, birds, and the sunset.

I now sensed that the Indian man was right behind me, I could feel his gaze as he was looking right at me, and this caused me to turn around again. He was, indeed, staring at me now, and he had a disapproving look on his face. My first thought was that I was trespassing on a private beach, that would definitely explain why there weren't any other people there. He probably wanted me to leave. I felt a mixture of foolishness for wandering onto private property and annoyance at having to leave since I clearly wasn't hurting anything, but I got up, brushed sand off my pants, apologized to the man for trespassing on his beach, and started to walk away. He stopped me with a hand on my shoulder, he said he did not own the beach, no one owned the beach. Whew, that was good, so there was really nothing wrong with me being there. The man pointed out to the sea, asking if I saw something wrong. I said no, since I had been staring and not seeing anything wrong. He told me to look again, more closely. I did. The sun was hanging over the ocean, the sky was bright reds and oranges, fading to deep purple and blue overhead, and the waves flowed steadily out to sea… huh? The waves were weird… wrong somehow… I looked closer, and the water seemed to be emerging from the sand itself and flowing out to sea… that wasn't normal, so I did a RC and found I was dreaming…

I looked back at the man now, he said it was about time I became lucid, I found the way he said it to be a bit annoying, but he had made me lucid so I brushed it off. I asked him who he was, he said I should already know that now that I was lucid, unless of course I was completely blind, he said I should look at him and actually see who he was. I was getting a bit more impatient with his attitude, but I still didn't respond to that, resisting an impulse to call him an ass… there couldn't be any benefit to that. I looked at the man, focusing on seeing his energy this time, and I finally decided I was looking at don Juan, but there was something about his energy that was a bit off… right as I thought his energy was off, the frequency conformed to what I thought it should be, he said now I could see him. He pointed back out at the ocean and asked what I saw there… I saw dolphins swimming out in the ocean, so I watched them for a bit and told don Juan about the dolphins I saw even thought I thought he should be able to see them for himself.

I was watching the dolphins still when don Juan slipped a cold glass into my hand, I looked at it and it was full of a drink of some kind, he said to drink it… I sniffed the stuff, wondering what it could be, maybe I'd get my penticon implant to do a spectral analysis on the stuff before drinking it, that way I could be sure it wasn't dangerous… then that felt a bit dumb, I was in a dream, I could eat a cyanide and arsenic sandwich with cobra venom on it and a glass of bleach to wash it down, and it wouldn't be dangerous. It would be disgusting, but not dangerous… besides, I didn't remember any time where don Juan had seemed hostile, so I took a sip of the drink. It was actually pretty good, sweet and fruity, so I drank a bit more and looked back out over the ocean to see if the dolphins were still there.

The red sun was just about gone beneath the surface of the waves, and the full moon was rising a bit to the right of the sun… wtf? How could the moon be rising from the same direction the sun was setting? I rubbed my eyes, looked again, and the sun was rising now, and the moon was setting. Um… ok… well, it was a dream after all… so anything is possible in a dream, the laws of physics are not applicable here. I was absent mindedly drinking the juice when I noticed I felt strange, a bit light headed… wait a minute… the world was spinning, I was losing the dream! Damn! I focused on the moon and willed the dream to stabilize, I wasn't ready to wake up… The sun turned into a giant pacman with fangs and tore a large mouthful out of the moon, red color that looked like blood came out of the torn moon and added even brighter reds to the sky, and it caused the ocean itself to look like it was on fire. The sun ate the rest of the moon in one bite, then hundreds of stars fell from the sky and ate the sun until there was nothing left but a dark night sky filled with stars, although some of those stars were notably fatter than the others. I was just staring at that in silence until I finally muttered a, "What the FUCK was that all about?"

I took another drink and stared at the night sky for a bit longer, waiting for anything else odd to happen, and I felt something bite my lip. I looked in the glass and saw there was not much of the drink left, and there were weird worm things with lots of teeth squirming on the bottom of the glass, looking up at me and snarling, jumping to get to me to bite, one of them was hanging off of my face. I removed the worm, put it back in the glass, and felt like vomiting at the idea I might have actually swallowed one of those things… as I said, things like that won't hurt me in a dream, but it can still be extremely disgusting. I felt light headed and nauseated, what the fuck? I had been poisoned after all, though this guy hadn't seemed hostile in any way, I had been poisoned, I looked over where I knew don Juan was and I saw a clown… a weird clown with so many razor sharp fangs, blood dripping from his fangs… what the FUCK? I thought I was on a beach with don Juan, not Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's It! The clown was grinning at me in a very evil manner, which was weird since the energy I sensed from the clown was still not hostile, maybe a bit amused, but not hostile. My penticon implant spoke to me, saying the foreign substance had been identified and was being neutralized… I closed my eyes and waited until the computer said the neutralization was complete… then I opened my eyes and looked around.

It was dark out now, there were stars in the sky, no sign of the moon, there was a faint red glow on the horizon, dolphins were playing in the ocean as the waves rolled in from the ocean instead of out to the ocean… and don Juan was standing beside me, not Pennywise the Clown, although he did look amused. I realized I was still holding the glass that had the juice in it, but when I looked it was just a bit of juice left, no worms or anything inside it. Hmmm… it seemed I was the butt of some kind of joke here… I took a deep breath and looked over at don Juan, I asked him what the point of that had been, because if it was a poison, he should know I can't be poisoned in the dream state… He looked into my eyes and got a strange look on his face. I had no doubt in my mind that the drink had been poisoned… my penticon said the drink would be safe now, since the substance to neutralize the poison was already in my system. Don Juan was still staring… I commented it's rude to stare… I then commented that the fruit drink was good, asked if he had any more of it… he said sure, and filled my glass from a flask, so I drank down the poison then deliberately smirked… then accidently burped… a long, loud, and embarrassing one that smelled like fruit… I said, "Excuse me," out of habit.

Don Juan asked if I could sense all the different way things are… he said I should be doing it effortlessly now, but… he seemed a bit puzzled… He said I have already done it in dreams, I have seen many worlds at once in the dream state… he indicated the ocean, I saw don Juan standing in front of the ocean (a gunslinger at the edge of a desert) (an old hic at the edge of a swamp) (a fire elemental beside an ocean of lava) (and Indian shaman at a fire at the edge of a thick forest) (a desolate ocean bed with a vampire in front of it) (a massive storm that was blowing with intense force, no sign of don Juan or anyone else) (a battlefield with many dead and dying soldiers lying everywhere, one not far from me was screaming as a vulture was eating him while he still lived as a soldier beside me pointed and laughed) (a field of colorful flowers and a country man standing beside me) (a vast level area of land with an army of Goa'uld marching across it, Teal'c was beside me) There were so many different versions I wasn't able to focus enough to take action in any of them, it was quite disorienting…

Then I heard don Juan speaking to me, focused on that, and pulled myself back into one world, seeing one place, one time… The beach was completely dark now, illuminated only by the dim glow of the stars, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I could see don Juan was still there, and he was speaking. He said I have the ability to see into many worlds at once when in the dream state, and with practice, to take a different action in each one of those worlds, so why hadn't I yet tried to exist in even two worlds simultaneously while awake? I said it was because I would never believe it or trust it to be real. He asked why not, I said I would have no way of being certain I was having an effect on another world or just pulling fictional shit out of my ass. He said I have to learn not to question what my own senses tell me, be they physical senses or other senses, it is completely normal for a nagual to see many planes and interact with them simultaneously… ok, there's your problem… I am not a nagual, if you want to talk to a nagual, maybe I could bring MoSh to this dream… He said he will find MoSh on his own when it is time, but now he was telling me to use the powers I have IWL… I said I have no powers IWL. He said I do have powers there, he said my friend thinks he is full of shit, so was I saying I agree with that, was I also saying he was full of shit? I wondered how he was so sure I have a friend who thinks he is full of shit… he said he wasn't blind, and that is fine if she wants to think that, she will find her own path. So, did my opinion match hers? That he was full of shit? I wasn't sure what to say, I didn't want to be rude and say yes, he's full of shit, but I know I have no powers IWL… so I said nothing.

After waiting for a short time, don Juan said again to use my powers IWL, I repeated I have no power IWL, to me we were both starting to sound like broken records, repeating over and over and over… I was getting impatient. I said of course I have no powers IWL, that's why they locked me into the trash hole of a dimension where I am now imprisoned. I'm not sure why I said someone sealed me in my home dimension… he said the prison couldn't be secure if I was there, on that beach, with him right now… I said apparently there is a breach that allows for dream travels… but on the physical plane, any powers I had have been sealed. He asked who had sealed my powers. I said I didn't know, maybe the Templars? He laughed, said not even close. He said the only one who had sealed my powers in my waking world was me, sealed it with doubt and disbelief, self doubt and refusal to believe in myself, because without those two things nothing will ever be possible. Or, of course, if I prefer to think he is full of shit, then go ask someone else and they will say the same things using different words. I really wasn't sure what to say right now, but I didn't have a chance to say anything before the dream faded and I woke.

31.08.2010

Results of WBTB Attempt 1 - 8/31/10 (Note)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Alright, So currently it's about 7PM. I just woke up about an hour ago, Which means that I most likely slept for a total of anywhere from 10-14 hours. I lost track of what time I fell asleep, so it should be somewhere within that range. Anyway...

Yesterday didn't go as well as I thought. I decided to try going to bed in the hopes that my alarm would wake me up and that I could then go back to sleep while being aware I'm awake to see if I'd drift off into a Lucid Dream. Next thing you know I see the darkness, ???? Afternoon. There was no dream at all, Not that I was able to remember any in general. (I'm assuming we all dream regardless of if we are aware of how/when/what it was.) So now I'm at a standstill with my self.

I've had no success with last night, And this would mark one week so far that I've tried Lucid Dreaming! Of course, I can't rush results but I can't help but feel frustrated that I have had NO progress in the least.

But I feel as if I have more time to keep going with this. I begin school in about a week and a half. College will be a bit new too me, regardless of the fact I couldn't graduate high school. At least this way I can get my high school degree and still feel good about my self. (Insert Cry Emote here T_T)

To think about my progress, I have been able to sleep more often and sleep longer hours while feeling good in the morning. So I guess something went right, even if I couldn't accomplish the goal of Lucid Dreaming. It normally takes about what? A month? Worth of practice to get into the feel for it? So I guess I'll have time to keep practicing.

It has been a bit nerve racking lately becuase I feel as if I'm being rushed, not about Lucid Dreaming. But I feel as if I have to know more about my self, confront my fears and be honest with my self in the shortest time possible. I'm trying to resist the rush, and currently trying to keep it at a nice and steady pace. Hopefully things work out in the end.

August 31: I was in what appeared to be a basement modeled off of ryan widdis' basement. I was hanging with kids a year or two younger than me. it was weird because apparently two kids were gay (its not too weird that they were gay) the only weird thing about it was they started making love (or dry humping) over in the left corner of the basement. me and the other dudes just chilled on a couch and talked about random stuff.

this may have been my least favorite dream, but I'm glad that August gave me two full lucid dreams, a few semi lucid dreams and my dream recall has gotten a lot better than it was before I got back into dreaming. now i move onto SEPTEMBER! LET THERE BE MANY LUCIDS!!

ohh wow September 1: N/A Recalled.

Note: This is the last week before my final project at school, so my lucid dreams came to a screeching halt as did my recall, these are some of the last dreams I recall before the date of the project presentation.

I was in a car with Tigress, she was driving, and I was staring out the window at the stores we were passing. We turned into a parking lot, I knew it was the parking lot for Toys R Us, but it wasn't like any parking lot I have ever seen, it had hills all over it. The parking places were all on steep hills going either up or down, it was impossible to see the store from where we were looking for parking places. Tigress turned to park in an empty parking place, and stopped just in time to avoid a black SUV who decided to pull all the way through from the next aisle to our row. With a brief expletive, Tigress pulled back into the main aisle and continued looking for a parking place until she finally saw another one. We pulled all the way into the empty parking place, at the same time a yellow pickup pulled into the place across from us, but I noticed there was no room for me to get out. Tigress backed up to straighten out in the parking place, and as soon as she backed up, the yellow pickup truck pulled forward and took our place! What an asshole! There were more expletives from Tigress now as she backed up and looked for another place, finally finding one and managing to park in this one before anyone stole it.

Tigress and I went into the Toys R Us store, I immediately looked around for electronic keyboards, I knew exactly what I was looking for. There was a small kiosk in the back of the store that had a sign announcing they had quality used merchandise for low prices, I thought it was strange that Toys R Us allowed them to set up there, but I figured it didn't really matter if they had what I wanted. I went back towards their booth, and as I was approaching, I saw an awesome looking electronic keyboard on one of their shelves.

I saw a price tag under the keyboard that said $298.95, and I thought that for that kind of keyboard it was an amazingly low price. Of course it was used, but if most of it still worked, I definitely wanted to get that keyboard. I looked over at Tigress and pointed at the keyboard, then I looked back at the keyboard. I must have misread the price… it was $756.95… shit. There was no way I could afford that, no matter how cool the keyboard was. I was going to have to pass it to get to the Toys R Us instrument aisle, and as I got closer I saw I had yet again misread the price… it was only $75.95… WOW! But then I looked, and the keyboard was different, now it was a cheap looking piece of crap that looked like it didn't even have different sound choices… There was no way I was even going to pay $75.95 for that thing which wouldn't do what I needed it to do anyway, so I followed Tigress farther into Toys R Us.

Tigress and I looked around the store a bit longer until we realized it was late and we had to get to class, so we had to leave without finding any more keyboards. We drove to school, it was similar to ITT Tech, but it was in a different place, and I realized Tigress and both had two classes, but only one was together. We went to our separate classes, they were boring, so Tigress and I were chatting on Skype… until suddenly she stopped responding. I wondered if she was mad at me about something… I didn't know what I could have said. There was a short break, during which I could not find Tigress, and then the class we had together. Upon arriving at that class, Tigress sat on the opposite side of the room, which I thought confirmed she was mad since there was an open seat right beside me. We spent the first part of that class reviewing for a final exam, though I didn't pay much attention to that since I was wondering why Tigress might be mad at me.

There was another short break, then back to the same class, now to take the exam. I returned to class, and it looked like Tigress was going to avoid me again, but then she dragged a desk closer to me, pushed another desk out of the way, and sat beside me after all. Apparently she had just preferred the desk she brought for some reason. I asked if she was mad at me, she said no, there was someone she'd had to talk to over there. The instructor passed out the tests and we began. I found I had no pen or pencil, the instructor wouldn't let me ask Tigress for one… I finally found a marker, so I was trying to do the test in marker. Between the fact I didn't study and the marker was rather messy I was making a huge mess of the test answer sheet, and it was getting really frustrating. The instructor said we had ten minutes left, I was on the verge of a panic. I told her I needed more time, I told her I've been having a lot of problems with depression and the test was harder for me because of it, so can't we make an exception? She said no, she didn't care if I was fighting with depression, the test was due in… eight minutes now. I was so angry that my hand clenched hard enough to break the marker and spill ink all over the answer sheet, Tigress was saying something in a soothing tone, apparently trying to calm me down, but I would not be calmed.

"Why do you have to be such a fucking bitch?" I yelled at the instructor, causing the other students to look up in surprise, "Well fuck this test! And fuck this class! And fuck you, you fucking bitch! Fuck you!" The instructor had only enough time to look over at me with a shocked look on her face before I woke.

Drizzt and Transformers

I was in a big room. It was a battle arena of some sort. I had a small transformer maby about 1 foot tall. There were a bunch of other transformers boosting around the area fighting. I saw a few other people telling them what to do (kinda like pokemon selecting attacks). One of the evil transformers managed to get some object which apparently when fused with the transformer would make him unstoppable. I was chasing the transformer with mine as is sped towards its master. I dont remember what happened next but I was in some small sort of cardboard box. It was like a cell. I though "fuck this!" and walked out. There were two guard guys who didnt seem to care that I just walked out of the cell. I was wondering where that evil guy was. He was only half my height. I was gona find him and smash him! I realised I was dreaming but didnt do any RC's or stabilize. I was looking all over for the kid when I found a big white horse outside. I jumped on and started riding with no saddle. It was great! I was going really fast through the country. There were pine forrests on either side of me. Thats when I remembered my task. I dismounted the horse and started running towards the forrest. I tried to pull scimitars out my my sides but there werent any. It felt like I was wearing a sweatshirt that was a few sizes too small. I said out loud "I am Drizzt Do'Urden" and looked at my hands as I imagined them becoming a dark grey/black but they didnt turn. Then the dream started destabilizing. I tried to hold on to it but it slipped and I woke up.