All DJ Entries

Morning of September 4, 2017. Monday.



I am in our present bedroom in our house as it mostly is now. Curiously, at one point, I see that I am drinking a Frozen Coke with a straw. (I no longer drink cola in real life.) My wife Zsuzsanna, who is sitting to my left on the foot of our bed (the same orientation as we are in sleep, that is, she is on my left in our bed), had bought it. I consider possible health issues, but I decide that just this one, within a long time period, would not do that much damage to my health, and thus I enjoy drinking it (which proves that dream self “reasoning” is unrelated to conscious self reasoning).

I should have seen this situation as a dream state indicator (since I would never drink a Frozen Coke in reality), yet I did not, and because I did not, the preconscious kicks in, in a typical imposer role of the exact same type (and same overall mood and level of dream state awareness) since early childhood. (This of course, is one of many reasons I have never believed in “dream interpretation” as the term is usually used, simply because I understand what dreams are and how they work.)

This time the preconscious personification occurs as a young unfamiliar male, he comes into our lounge room and gazes at me from near the front door. Of course, this greatly annoys me and I get up to chase him back outside. As he goes back onto our porch, I notice it seems late at night. I jab his chest and chin with my Olympic barbell (which has no weights on it, but is my weapon of choice in many dreams), pushing him backwards. He walks out onto the street, but I shout to him that I will “get my shotgun” if he comes back.

Zsuzsanna joins me on our porch. I notice a number of unfamiliar people walking in both northerly and southerly directions at the intersection in the street perpendicular to ours. I consider that there is some sort of public event going on. This may be why the unknown male ended up absentmindedly coming into our house.

Without remembering that there is no door to the entrance to our porch in reality, that is, the doorway parallel to our lounge room door (front entrance), I attempt to close a wooden door. The dynamics of this otherwise solid door make absolutely no sense, but my dream self does not catch on at all.

Zsuzsanna watches me as I attempt to close the door over the porch entrance doorway. I do this in the understanding that it is actually our lounge room door. This makes such little sense, it is utterly absurd, because our lounge room door is actually a few feet from the porch doorway and not even hinged anywhere in that area. Still, it does not matter to my dream self as I try it anyway. (The door actually somehow seems free-floating in one way, though still has some sort of virtual hinging at times.)

I push the door to close into the right wall of the porch, but it does not quite fit. In fact, the otherwise solid wooden door bends a bit, leaving impossible curves in the top and bottom, though seems to resume its shape when pulled back out. I pull it back out and push it back in a few times, but I do not think it will serve as a viable door. I look at the items on our porch, including the dresser, and wonder if people will take
something.

---

This dream renders the waking transition as typical doorway waking symbolism of the same basic type as since early childhood. Such dreams, like many other dreams and their inherent waking symbolism, are unrelated to waking life in any symbolic sense. (I do not believe in “dream interpretation” in that sense anyway.)

What about this dream relating to waking life in any way? Only my wife Zsuzsanna in this case has any connection to waking life, yet the fact we are sitting at the foot of our bed signifies that even this is a dream state indicator (symbolizing, in real time, that we are asleep).

A door is typically the implied exit point of the dream in both lucid and non-lucid dreams, though a dream can also be vivified by going through a doorway or opening a door (and in fact this is one of my main ways to induce apex lucidity). This one was more illogical than in virtually countless past dreams of the same type of waking symbolism. There are probably at least two incidental reasons, one, the door pressing and crunching against the porch wall upon attempting to fully close it as was the door to my Cubitis bedroom (thus a subliminal dream state indicator relating to a “return” to bed - that is, subliminal acknowledgement that the physical body is in bed), two, the wobbliness of the door being analogous of having a heavier blanket over me at the time (as of course a blanket yields to physical movement but can be smoothed out again when a bed is made).

Of course, as I have written hundreds of times in my personal journal since childhood, a porch symbolizes (in real time) higher liminal space and is unrelated to waking life symbolism other than the literal implications of what a porch is (between fictional dream self identity and true conscious self identity). Additionally, the preconscious is transpersonal and always consequently the least like the dreamer (until merging with the emergent consciousness if such is the case) or otherwise there would not be the emotional contrast required to induce waking (yet I am always astounded by people who do not understand this as this is a dream’s main function). While in some cases, the preconscious takes the form of a person the dreamer may have an actual conflict with, for me, it is often far less true, as there will be conflict with the preconscious no matter what conscious self dynamics are extant. Whether or not a person has any current conflict in waking life has nothing to do with the nature of the preconscious as many people unintelligently presume (though is but one of many of the inherent falsehoods of “dream interpretation” by way of the very common Barnum effect). If I were to “get along” with the preconscious, this would possibly sustain my dream indefinitely, which is not biologically feasible or healthy. However, when I do passively coalesce with the preconscious, which is then no longer the preconscious but the emergent consciousness, I wake anyway (coalescence waking symbolism). The only real difference used to be the coloring of mood on whether my dream had a positive or negative outcome. Since I now have a greater understanding of my dreams than ever before, that coloring of mood being potentially negative, regardless of preconscious dynamics, has lessened significantly.

---

Morning of May 9, 2017. Tuesday.



I am in a setting which seems to be modeled somewhat after the Loomis Street backyard, though there is the typical ambiguous feeling of being indoors and outdoors at the same time. The north fence is present but higher than in real life. There are a few unknown people present.

I am aware of a set of parallel walls. There are at least five or six in a row and only about four feet apart. The first wall, farther south from the real fence, is made of old stones. A couple walls are more like the inside of a house.

There is some sort of sense of wanting to explore. The main scene involves an unknown male opening a door between two walls, and this event is somehow duplicated simultaneously between two different walls, and yet it is also the same man. I believe this is the first time this has occurred in a dream.

---

Vague and poorly remembered dreams overall, linked by a pervasive feeling of threat, but in the end I came to an insightful realization.

In one scene, the garage door was open, and I was with at least one other DC pointing a gun at some cats milling around just outside. I love cats, but I suspected that these might be evil spirits in disguise.

In another scene, I saw a collection of malevolent dolls outside the front door of a house at night. Their malevolence was limited by the fact that most of them had no arms, except for one shaped like an octopus, which had its full complement of tentacles. That one was almost cute, though. Another doll was especially wicked but consisted of only a head, and I watched as a dog came up and carried it off. "It's just as well," I commented to someone standing nearby. "He was already almost dead."

In the final and most notable scene, I was holding a door shut against some evil force that was trying to push it open. I was exerting as much strength as I could, hoping to lock the door to better secure it, but I couldn't get it closed tightly enough to fasten the latch. I felt the door beginning to open wider, despite all my efforts, and my anxiety increased... until I suddenly realized that I was making a category error.

If this was my world, a physical threat, then yes, I would need to try to hold the door with physical force. But I recognized that this was not my world, and in this world, my attempts to push the door closed only gave more power to the threat. To avoid the threat I needed to deny it my strength by denying it my attention, just like in dreams. I did not actually recognize that I was dreaming, only that this was an analogous situation.

There was a woman standing next to me, so I expressed my thoughts to her and distracted myself by caressing her face and shoulders. The sensuality quickly dissipated the anxiety I had felt about the door, and it ceased to be a threat even though I was no longer holding it closed.

I was inspired by my realization, and inquired the woman's perspective on it. "So it works because we are aliens here?" I asked her. She replied that some groups held this point of view, but others disagreed, so that my standing in relation to this world remained controversial.

I run through a building holding a golden egg shaped objected. It fires a laser out the top. I am being chased by my duplicates. I find a door. It slides open when I fire the laser. I then shut it with the laser. However after that my egg stops working. People try to convince me to sell it to them. I refuse. I end up crying.

Bedtime: 11:00 pm
WBTB: 3:30 am
Technique: mantra (Is this a dream?), counting
Notes: This dream occurred between 7 and 7:30 am, after multiple wake-ups throughout the morning

I am working at Blumac's (a bar I worked at years ago). I committed to one night just for fun, but I realize the owner put me back on the schedule 4-5 days a week. I am worried I can't handle that kind of schedule anymore since I'm out of shape, and really might be too old for this now. I greet Michelle in the dressing room and realize she is older than me and looks amazing, so maybe I can do this for a little while to earn some extra money. I decide to stay, but I don't want to work Friday or Saturday nights, or double shifts. I ask one of the other girls if she would like my Friday shift and she agrees.

I return for my second shift. I overhear the other girls talking about money, and realize that I handled my tips incorrectly the night before. I put my money in my makeup bag instead of giving it to the DJ, so I didn't pay the DJ or bouncer last night. I feel bad. I start digging through my bag to count my money and notice there is a lot more than I thought. Suddenly I realize in horror that I am looking through the wrong bag. I feel horribly embarrassed and worry that someone might think I'm trying to rob her. Thankfully no one sees me, so I sit down to relax again and sort through my clothes. I contemplate getting a trunk for my clothes again instead of dealing with this messy gym bag.

I suddenly remember to look at the RC tattoo on my arm. I fully expect to see the word "Dream" written there, but when I look I see only a P and another partial letter. I stare at it, dumbfounded for a minute, then become fully lucid. I stand up, excited, and look around the room to see how stable the dream is. Everything is solid, and I move easily. I realize this is the highest level of lucidity I've had in over a year! I decide to glide instead of walk. I glide easily across the room and out the door. As I enter the next room, I notice things are hazy, like I am not wearing my contacts. I decide to keep moving, hoping things will clear up because I'm concerned about waking myself if I try to adjust the light. I decide to go outside, hoping the light will clear up naturally out there. I see a door to the patio and decide to walk right through the solid wood. It works! The dream is much clearer outside. The sky is blue and the weather is pleasant. I see a large brown dog across the yard. When it sees me it gets up and runs my direction. It appears to be very friendly and curious. I notice there is something odd about it's jaw, so I try to look closer.....then BEEEEEP! Damn alarm work me up!

Preface:
A lot going on today. Up at 8am, preparing for a pottery party I have planned for my co-worker. Party goes well. I spend the evening with my best friend. We were talking about recent comunication that we both oddly received from our EXES this past week. I go home for an hour or so, and then go back out to catch a live band with her. I got home at 1, went to sleep at 2.

Side Note: Frustration. Two of the ladies at the pottery party became VERY frustrated with painting their pieces. One of them was so upset that she washed her piece and then proceeded to sit with her hands in her lap during the remainder of the event. I felt like something else was going on, but I didn't ask. She is a friend of a friend's, so it wasn't my place.


DR 1
I am in an office building. A fire has started and most of the people have run out. Some are still running. Nobody pulls the fire alarm, so I do. I walk outside the building. There is a sidewalk path to another building, so I take it. The building doors are wide open, so I walk in. The walls are white. White ceilings, brown carpet. There is only a hallway, which extends in each direction. Its quiet, and I can hear the faint sound of the alarm I pulled in the other building. I turn to the right down the hallway. I see a red alarm panel on the left wall and I pull it.

DR 2
Everything seems to have calmed down. I am walking down a hall in an office building. I pass a co-worker, a handsome man, who I have apparently just repaired a work relationship with. We smile and greet each other. I continue down the hall. I am wearing office attire, a white blouse, a skirt (? color) and heels. I am holding an order with a ticket number on it- 3757. I know that the co-worker has changed my order and resubmitted it as 3758. I think about telling my boss because something about it isn't rigt. At that moment, I get called into my boss's office. My boss is a black lady with long braids in her hair. I feel that she doesn't like me much. I am seated at a white table. She asks me about the order. Before I can finish telling her the story, she calls in my co-worker. I place my head in my hands. I can't believe that she has done this before I can tell her what happened. And I can't believe this is happening when I have just literally became friends with this guy again. He whispers to me, "what's going on?", and put my lips to his ear and say, "they have no idea what's going on".
I place my head in my hands again.

DR 3

Members of a movie crew are filming in the courtyard of the office building. The courtyard has a swimming pool. I'm not sure why the film is happening and I'm not sure why we have a pool. All of a sudden, a little black boy comes running from my left at full speed and cannonballs into the pool. Somebody yells, "that's a wrap", and I see the microphone swing over the pool. There are crew members in place to take the boy safely out of the pool.

DR 4
I am in a convenient store. A tall black lady comes in. She looks like a model. She is wearing a dark blue and bright orange dress with a sunhat. A guy's voice is heard over the intercom. He tells her to turn around so he can see her on the video cameras. She doesn't seem to hear im, so I grab an umbrella from one of the displays nearby and point to the cameras. I tell her what he said. When I actually walk up to her, she is at least a foot taller than me. I am 5'6", but she is clearly way taller. I feel so short. She turns around so he can see her. She asks if she looks ok. I tell her that her dress is cute. She says thank you and then bends over to reach into a chest (which is somehow a cooler doubling as a chest?) There are clothes inside it for some reason. As she bends over I see the top of her big hat.

Had several other dreams early on but cannot now recall, I tried to use a technique to remember them but gone.

D1 - Had one dream where I thought I was dreaming and had just been in a meeting room but something was wrong. i dreamt that I went back into the dream to change something. But it was a dream

Tried to WILD but just found myself in dream, don't remember any vibrations or anything.
D2 - Went up to hobbits round front door and I kind of got stuck there for a while, I was totally phased by how the door opened. Did it open like a notmal door or did it open in the middle like two half circles or best of all I decided open into the hillside by rolling, like a slidy door. with the door rolling round and round, and back, cool!
On entering the house I was immediatley drawn to the kitchen to the left of the main hallway. I went to peek in the kitchen door and that was as far as I got. The kitchen looked nice, wooden shelves with stuff on them, and shafts of sunlight. But completely incongruous to all I had expected there was a motorcycle lite by the shaft of light Oo wt...worse still was to befall my eyes on the old fashioned silver and black motorbyke was a dog, a sheep dog :/ what has the world come too
There was much activity in the kitchen, I know not what of but I left, in disgust and woke myself up outta there.
I woke up and tried again.
This time I was out in a field of thick high corn near a path, and there was Sam Gamgee or so I imagined. (In what I remember of the hobbit he had been collecting vegetables and took them back round to the house so I tried following him). I could only see the back of Sam, if that's who he was.
He sure enough went back to the Frodo's house (?) but instead of being able to enter via the big back window, I was confronted by big white framed double glazing, and no sign of a way of entry.
So I went back round to the front of the house to try yet again,
standing in tall in old green robes with a hood, was Gandalf....nope it was another ... dog!
this time it was a big grey (gandalf the ...grey evidently) long haird dog, standing on it's hindquarters, with it's face showing
at this point I felt quite insulted at how my subconscious was seriously taking the piss out of me, and gave up.
Dog Gawn it! for sure.

Note to self, next time remember I want an authentic hobbit house not some weird fabrication.
And then I remembered, seeing my neice's new godamm pooch and that he must of been the cause of this mess up!

sometime in 2015
I was inside my parents house by the front door and I could here rain outside. I was dark out. I went outside having a feeling of deja vu. I looked at my hands and they were swirling. I remember that I always wanted to fly as high as I could while in a dream. I began to float upwards but lost momentum and was no longer flying up. I was just hovering. I found out I wasn't breathing. Every time I took a breath I flew a little higher. Now able to see the tops of the houses and the rain I continue to take deep breathes flying higher into the clouds. I can see the stars above and below the clouds fly away in swirling mists as I begin to see the shape of Earth at it's curving edges. I slow down into orbit miles above earths surface and gaze down at the dark side of the earth with it's christmas light pattern of light pollution and decide to fall back to Earth because I've had many dreams where I fall from high distances and land on my feet. I gain speed again but this time toward earth with increasing momentum. I feel a pit in my stomach and I begin to lose touch with reality hurling toward Earth. The dream fabric broke and I awoke.

I wish I had landed

...next time

This morning I had some of the realest lucids in a long time.

I'm at Kings Dominion which is an amusement park and I'm with my friend Ryan under the Anaconda rollercoaster. We're at this sort of food market place where a bunch of people are sitting down and talking. I'm trying to convince Ryan and his girlfriend that we should go on it but they aren't really responding. I start to ride on the Anaconda towards the actual beginning of it thinking it'll just loop and I'll be on it. When I get closer to it, I realize the track is ending and it stops at the end under the place where it normally starts. The dream sort of pauses and I start to get suspicious about this dream.

It starts in my room. I'm laying in my bed but perpendicular to how I usually sleep. My view is of my wall. I'm just staring at it when I start to wonder what I'm even doing. Then, I just remember that I'm dreaming and my mind agrees. I sit up from my bed and try a reality check, I start to breathe with my mouth closed. It works. I sort of cough but it works, so I decide I'm going to explore my house. My mind wants to do another reality check so I imagine there's a mirror on my wall next to the door. I look in it to see I'm me but my hair is sort of shaved on one side which isn't right. Then, I look into my bathroom mirror and see that I look like an old man version of me with white spiked hair. I laugh and start going in between the mirrors thinking its funny while chanting this weird song that I can't remember. Then, I go through my door and look down my stairs. I can hear this sort of noise that sounds like "ticka ticka ticka ticka" really fast. I call someone out and a guy dressed in a horse suit appears smiling at the bottom of the steps and we both start laughing like it's okay. I walk down stairs and there's a couple of guys just hanging out in my house, but it's not my roommates. In fact, I don't even know who these guys are. I remember thinking that these are the guys I'd be friends with if I never met my freshman year friends. We talk about something and then I walk towards the door. The dream starts to collapse as I'm starting to not think this is a dream. I panic and think "no no this is a dream come back to it" and then I reset in my bed. I get up and I do the same thing by looking in the mirror back and forth, seeing that I'm an old man in the mirror again. This past week I wrote an "A" on my hand so that I could use it as a reality check in my dreams so I look down at my left hand where it's supposed to be but instead it's this weird symbol that looks kinda like a "G" but different. I start to think that I'm not doing enough and I should challenge myself to more challenging things so I imagine I'm with Drake and sure enough him and I are in this room at our fraternity house with a bunch of random guys and girls. He talks to me about some things and then him and I are in this laundry room that's long and skinny. There's a black portable speaker thing that I'm playing music all of the sudden. The song is a version of one of his songs but it's different. I felt amazed I was playing a song that I had never heard before. Him and I are dancing around the room with a few other people having fun. We go back to the room we were in and there's people having sex everywhere. I go up to this one girl who's laying on her back with her legs up and this guy is giving her drugs so that they'll have sex. He gives her this powder stuff and puts it in her gums. She starts making that "ticka" noise I was talking about earlier. I remember that I almost decided to have sex with that girl but it was just too gross. I look around at other people having sex and think that it would be funny to see the guy in the horse costume in this situation but he never appeared. I climb on a bed in the room alone and decide I'm just going to have someone appear. I think about it for a while and someone sort of appears but nothing actually happens. I turn to some of the guys and tell them "Hey you guys know this is a dream right" and they just kinda laugh and push it off. There was this excited feeling I had like I was accomplishing lucidity. I walk over to this door and say that I'm going to challenge myself. I close the door and then say, this will now be a bathroom. When I opened it again it was a bathroom! Then, I said this will be my bedroom. I close it then open it again but it was still a bathroom. I try harder and finally it works, my bedroom is now through the door. I can see my bed. I get so excited the dream collapses.

I'm in this place where there's tickets being sold under a large sort of open building that has a roof and large open doors. There's a ticket place and then a place to turn in your tickets to go into the show. The show is ODESZA, but I don't have my ticket. I remember talking to my friend Madonna and some other person which both had tickets in their hands when I realized I didn't have one. They go in and I freak out because I don't want to pay 40 dollars for a ticket when I already had one at home. Somehow, I end up being let in. The way the show works is you sit down on these circular couch things that move you from room to room. I'm alone on one moving down this hallway where there's other couches in line and in front of me. Before the hallway ends the couch sort of follows the path on the ground which spins the couch. I end up in this giant room where there's a stage at the front. This was apparently the pre-show. People are walking around handing out wristband things that you apparently need a ticket to get and stay. They sort of just throw one to me even though I didn't show them the ticket. I start to look around when I notice the bald man is just staring waiting for me to put mine on. I do so and then he walks away. Suddenly, there's this small stage right in front of us with a rock band playing on it. No one really seems interested. We are moved through another hallway and into another room. Inside, my mind is now playing World of Warcraft. I'm this Tauren Warrior tanking in this boss fight. The boss is some weird Cathulu looking thing and he's throwing all of this fire and shit at us. At some point in the fight my character flies up over these dinosaur things that are running at me. I do a couple more mechanics before it ends. Then, I'm walking up the hill to Ironforge. I'm in 1st person mode now. My friend Moo and someone else are walking with me and they ask me a question about the game that's weird. I say "I don't know I haven't played in 3 years." There's realistic guards outside walking around. We go inside and it's just way different than IRL. The auction house is placed over where the bank is with the bank. I fall down to where I see battleground people are. I don't really remember much else.

I'm at a party that is half inside half outside. There's a game where you put a beer can on the ground and then throw a spiked hockey stick onto it. Then, someone jumps on the beer can. This girl jumps on it after a guy throws the stick and then they give it to me to drink. I drink most of it and then my friend Kolby is there next to me. He wants to chug with a few other girls so we do but I end up spilling most of mine because I was leaning over too much. I go to this room and sit down where supposedly the best part of the party is but in reality I look around and everyone is on their phones not saying a word.

Fragment: I'm at my house waiting to go to class. I remember hanging out with a bunch of hood guys so I start walking towards their neighborhood which is towards campus. I'm walking up this hill when I see my friend Chappy walk by. She kind of looks at me and then looks away several times and I just think she's really sober and I'm not. I get to the neighborhood which is to the left of the hill and realize I can't just walk around people's houses looking for these certain guys so I change my mind and walk somewhere else.

Fragment: Really stressed about a test walking around campus. I see my friend Ryan but I act like a don't since I'm from afar. I see my friend Lauren near the stadium and our moms are there talking too. I think there was a dog.

Fragment: Dream where my friend Kolby and I are in this music class though it's taught by my Accounting professor. He's testing us by having us sing by ourselves to the whole class. I start to freak out because my friend Kolby isn't a good singer and I'm afraid for him. Half the class goes and then apparently a couple of days goes by and it's our part of the class' turn. Kolby says that he's sick and doesn't go. The professor asks a random Asian kid to go and he's just really confused. I look over Kolby's shoulder when he's working on some test thing.

Morning of September 1, 2015. Tuesday.



My wife and children and I are living on Loomis Street, it seems (though my wife and children have never been to America). At least that is where my entire dream takes place; in the front part of the house. However, the house is mirrored from north to south - the first distortion of the Loomis Street house in this particular way that I remember. It does not trigger any degree of lucidity that the house is mirrored from my right to my left as such. My family seems to at least partly be living in the first small bedroom.

My sister Marilyn makes an appearance as she was perhaps in the early 1970s (before I even moved back to Wisconsin). She seems healthy and happy. She goes to open her bedroom door and the door mostly falls off the hinges but is still partly attached at the top. She is annoyed and mentions something about how she wanted to listen to Neil Diamond with her door closed (apparently so as not to bother others, including her sickly husband). (This is odd, as she had never listened to Neil Diamond in real life regardless of her huge record, reel to reel, and cassette tape collection.)

I go over and make the offer to fix it, but her husband Bob suddenly shows up as if having just arrived (possibly dropped off by his relatives or perhaps my sister Carol - this is not certain). He insists that he can do it. He looks very ill and begins at the top of the door frame. The hinges are not as they would be in reality. Each of the two hinges in the door frame (the ones that came loose) is held by two silver sets of nuts and bolts, the bolts facing outward from the door frame. He begins to work on the top nut by tightening it with his hands. The other nut below that is there but very loose. The other two nuts (for the bottom hinge) are somehow somewhere in that bedroom on the other side of the door (which is not logical, as the nuts would have rolled into the living room relating to how the door mostly came off, not the other direction). Just as he is tightening the top nut, he drops his left arm (the hinges are on the left side of the door from the living room perspective). He then seems to go into some sort of pseudo-ritualistic trance. I notice that there are dark reddish circles around his eyes and he is wearing no shirt. (He is just in his underwear.) He had arrived in only his underwear and had apparently been in the hospital for a week or more.

He just stands there looking very ill. He starts chanting “Have a headache…don’t care…have a headache…don’t care…” (which seems to mean he does not care about anything in life, even continuing to fix the hinges). I get the strong impression that he is very close to death. I decide that I will manually tighten the other nuts myself, but just as I contemplate tightening the bottom nut of the top hinge, my dream fades.

Zsuzsanna woke with a slight headache and a bit of nausea so it is possible our empathetic link projected into a different dream character (as this has happened before) - even though her character in my dream seemed healthy and happy. In fact, this metaphor (a door not being on all the hinges) does seem to have something to do with empathetic links that need to be strengthened for the health or vitality of both (including at different levels of thought). A door itself is a point between two rooms and often takes a dreamer into different levels of consciousness or awareness.

Precognition unveils. Right after my wife had the television on (and just as I was ready to post this), the first thing she hears is “Neil Diamond…(pause)…No, it wasn’t Neil Diamond”. My wife just smiled at me and said “You’re funny”. Of course, this is a natural event via the Source, like digesting food, not an active “ability” for the most part (at least in this particular case).

It was cold, dark night. With my younger sister we were swimming by boat to a small island in the middle of a lake. I climbed up a rock, and looked around. Suddenly I saw my sister running from the other end of the lake, jumping over boats and running on the water to me.

I asked "How did you ran over the water?" She replied "Water? It's concrete!". Then I saw that the rock I was standing on was placed in the middle of city square. Street lamps were off, dark. Moving through the dark alleys I entered a passageway going under the city. It was heavily crowded. I tried to go to the other side, but when I opened the door to first route I thought "Wait! This is an ambush. The doors will be closed if I enter it!"

I decided to go the second route, but suddenly a passer-by told me that someone broken the key, and the place is locked. I moved to the door and tried to open it, to no avail. I hit the door with my fist, and then tried to smash a nearby window, but they resisted my strikes.

I recall only some things. I was holding the door to a shelter, to keep monsters out of the room. There was a flower in a flower pot in the room, I took it out of the pot and threw somewhere.

Morning of June 5, 2015. Friday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and I are watching at least three teenage girls from an unknown family, possibly (fictional) relatives. These girls seem to be curious explorers without caring much for other people knowing where they are at any point. The main part of my dream seems to be set later at night. For some reason, we are near an apparently abandoned building in an unfamiliar and unknown (unnamed) town or region. The building is somewhat reminiscent of a barn, but longer and could possibly be some sort of industrial warehouse, though the walls are not that high.

There is concern about a possible criminal in the area, though this is not clearly focused upon. I go into the building, which is completely made of wood and mostly featureless, and seemingly with a dirt floor (though this is not certain). I spend the rest of the time trying to work out where the girls went, trying to learn if they may be in danger or not. I do not feel directly threatened at any point, but I do not see anyone, either.

My dream becomes rather ambiguous concerning a wall on my right and a hall on my left, near the entrance into the building. I get the impression that at least two of them may be behind the wall, yet at the same time think they cannot be, because there is no door in that wall. At one point, I imagine a light shining underneath from the entire wall (though again without discerning any door).

Morning of March 18, 2015. Wednesday.



My wife’s mother comes to our house and it seems her youngest half-sister is also here with her (likely being the one who drove her here in her car). Of course, we do not open the door or respond at first. There are a few different points where the door is not rendered correctly and has a wider gap at the bottom. This gap is big enough to see a person’s face when they have the side of their head pressed against the floor on the other side of the door, which is what happens at least twice in my dream. My wife’s youngest half-sister seems so much older and mean-looking that I first mistake her for her mother. Her features and expression are disturbing, though my mood and energy level does not make this a nightmare.

At one point, her mother puts something under the door. At first, it seems to be a greeting card or letters, but the view changes to seeing at least three paintbrushes. There is an awareness that the paintbrushes should not be placed in the mouth or tasted or even touched at all because of who they had belonged to. (This may come from a very old memory of possibly an episode of “Dragnet” or another crime show where a painter implied to be on drugs puts the paintbrush in his mouth as if to suck the paint off - for some reason, this scene stuck in my memory as a child).

Eventually, I end up yelling at them through the closed door but it is not as intense as it could be. Meanwhile, my wife is talking casually to the police on the telephone, though we do not have a restraining order against her mother or youngest half-sister though I mention getting one. (It would not matter anyway, as restraining orders in this town mean nothing, as my wife’s sister had one against the mother in reality - and it proved to be useless.)

Backlog: 5 March

Average wakefulness, I do my best to fall asleep. I get some very strong and bright visuals with a fast transition into the same room. It gives the inital impression of seeing through closed eyes. I examine my hands for a while, then get up and go to the other room. The dream ends.

I wake up, then have a couple more wildlets I can't recall.

A more coherent scene, now it looks like the dream leaves me somewhere outside on an unknown road. I pass by a small gingko tree and end up in a forest area where I address the dream and express my happiness about being here.

My mental clarity improves and I recall the task I wanted to do today - walk in a house and describe what's happening. There is a lonely tall house in the midst of all the trees and I head in its direction. It has no windows just a single old door that I try to open but cannot figure the direction. It's supposed to be pushed but there is resistance, so I decide to pull instead. It doesn't work because it is stuck. I think about our recent conversation with bemistaken how she would phase through the door, but I don't want a drastic scene change at the moment. I hold tightly the door and pull it. It looks like a door, but at the same time now also looks and peels like a large piece of wallpaper.

And surprise, surprise it reveals just another door. Ah, the typical dream bug! I briefly wonder about the feedback loop causing this and try again. I peel another door to reveal yet another door behind it. Oh, come on! I am not thinking so much about this. Got to concentrate on expecting what is behind the door, yes, it is opening to show the inside of the house. I punch a hole in the now somewhat solid door and pull/peel it to finally reveal the entrace. Yay! No more doors! I get inside. To my disappointment, it's an unpleasant looking place. A completely empty place with creepy stairs going down to the basement and up to the next floor. I start going up the stairs when the scenario worsens and see a kid rush towards the only small window in the place. It appears to be running away from something and I don't want to find out what that is. I decide this is enough for basic and head towards the window. I soon wake up.

I deild (3 more scene changes), having some fun after running out of tasks to do.