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I'm in a PvP minecraft world. I think there are some new mechanisms for attack, but I don't remember what all of them are (I remember seeing missiles on a shelf). Small deep ponds are where mobs seem to be defeated. The one in my house is 1x1. My neighbor might be a prince. I'm fighting him at some point. He has shelves of weapons. I ask him how to make missiles which caught my eye on his shelves. I fall into his pond. He kills me. I appear at spawn in a big pond. Above me are roads made of glass. Sometimes, I make it out of the pond. Other times I am killed again. The king says I will have his favor returned if I give back the panties I stole from his two daughters. I find this to be strange. I then get a flashback of me removing two sets of panties from each daughter. Each set of panties is a different color. I proceed to try to make it back to my house to get said panties. I wake up.

Lucid
task of the month

I'm so happy!! I've been struggling for ages to get a decent lucid dream that actually lasts and I've finally got it. Admittedly it was semi lucid in parts and my recall for the start is a little hazy (hoping more of that will come back to me) but it was still a fantastic experience and my dream control was great.

Basically I had a nap this afternoon to catch up some sleep with the intention to DILD if I had the opportunity and it all evolved from there. It was a shock to me at first when I started getting WILD sensations and I really enjoyed them this time, they felt really relaxing and comfortable. After this I found that my brain was in imagery overload and imagining loads of random images. One of them became particularly strong - I had found a way to break a simple sweets/toy machine without getting caught and could take all of the contents. This image was verging on dream-level and I hung it to it for as long as I could. After a while I felt myself coming out of the WILD state so refocused all of my energy on the image mentioned above. Before long the scenery started changing without my conscious effort, I still remember Thomas the Tank Engine in there somewhere.

After a while the random colours and imagery had evolved into a dream environment, I didn't even have to bother reality checking etc as I remembered the whole process. I started grounding myself, concentrating on what I could feel, smell and see. Foolishly I tried hearing the outside world too and almost lost my lucidity, but my determination and hand rubbing kept me in the dream. After this I found I could continually do the hand rubbing with an extra set of arms so set off on an exploration.

I was at my University and it looked a bit like the BBC news set. I didn't want to hang around here so headed to the back to find some toilets and check out my appearance in the mirrors. (I've heard a lot of rumours regarding this) A group of woman were approaching in front of me and being really slow so I dodged around them, noticing as I did so that one of the women was sick of the group and slipped into a cupboard instead of following them. When I got to the mirror I saw that I had my four arms. I decided to try and remove two of them and make the remaining ones more muscly. I couldn't do this effectively so instead I enticed the extra two out again and grew all four arms to hulk like proportions. Soon after this I remember I had the opportunity to dream fight but my recall around this point is quite hazy.

I left the toilets and loads of people were heading upstairs to my "flat" where we were going to party. I didn't want to bother with the stairs as I was lucid so decided to fly straight upwards through the floors. It got pitch black once I tried to do this however and it resulted in my first successful teleportation. I simply pictured the room and *bang* I was transported into it. Once there I was alone and didn't know what to do, and then I realised - Task of the Month! To the best of my knowledge the task was to eat a piece of dream fruit and pick a piece of dream fruit (I now know this to be from the dark side of the moon) so headed out to do both of these things. I visualised an apple a couple of times but it wouldn't appear, so instead tried a different tactic of turning away and visualising it behind me. To my surprise this worked really well and I bit into my new found apple with joy. It tasted quite fizzy but was by far the best apple I've ever had. Next I decided to persue the advanced task incorrectly and found a small plant in the hall way, I decided this was enough and tried to grow some fruit on it. I used the same looking away visualisation technique to get fruit onto the branches of the small plant. The first couple of tries yielded mouldy results but by the third try I grew a perfect lemon. I remember vividly how the plant prickled me as it pulled apart the leaves to get to it. After this I decided to practice again as the lemon was quite small, and grew a perfect sized grape instead.

Upon re-entering the main room in the flat I found that loads of people had arrived. I had vague memories of old tasks of the month as I was unsure which ones to do and remembered "kiss a dc". At this point I saw my friend A_ trying to kiss Rolf Harris. Rolf looked really uncomfortable so I went over, hugged him, and pushed Adam away, offering to get them both drinks. After a bit of mingling I realised that I wouldn't be able to recall all of this lucid as it was so long (there's still much I know that I can't recall) and decided to do one last thing. Whilst thinking this I saw Charlie Sheen in the corner with an inflated head - yes, punch Charlie Sheen. I went over, punched him quite hard and he disappeared.

I was so confident of my dream control at this point that I created credits. They were displayed as lots of small white letters in computer font making up the shapes of bigger letters on a black background. They read "This was a Josh production. Thankyou for watching." I then used this to make white noise and voluntarily woke up.

WILD

Had the day off from school today, so I was able to sleep in. As I started to get into light sleep, sleeping for around twenty minutes at a time (because I just wasn't tired anymore) I started to hear a fuhfufhfuhfuh sound every once in a while. I stayed still and enjoyed the feeling which facinated me. I decided to roll over and felt my self roll out of my body. I then sank far into my bed-which was an amazing feeling- then to finally roll out of my body one final time. At this point I sat up on my bed an watched my clock for a while, which was on my shelf like always, but this time my shelf was in the middle of my room. The clock had around 8 digits that kept changing. I watched for quite a while taking it all in. At this point, I realized that I had a big hat on my head which I finally took off. The Continuous lack of clarity made me decide to look for a pair of glasses, an idea someone mentioned, which i couldnt seem to find. After that, I headed down stairs to chow down on some food. I entered the kitchen which had a little dog running around, and from there opened the pantry door. I then grabbed a packet of pop tarts (which we don't own ha) and headed over to the livingroom to scope things out. I saw some of my moms friends and decided I wanted to see one of them's breasts. I found this weird, because this isn't really like me, but I asked her what she had on her shirt, and then started unbuttoning it to show her what it was (reality checked about 5 times first). At the point that I saw here breasts, I started waking up around this time, but I decided I wouldn't move and try to deild, which makes me glad that I was lucid and likeminded enough to remember. I woke up, and after 5 minutes or so of not moving a muscle I decided I wasn't tired enough to go back to sleep, so here we are. I've had this same experience happen to me before eventhough I didn't record it; it seems as if uncounciously tring to WILD (especially in the morning) is the best way for me. Next time I'll try to remember to rub my hands, listen, and smell ect. Although this is only my second WILD, it really didn't last long, maybe four minutes. If I could just have a lucid dream earlier in the night!

Recall:7
Lucidity: 7
Length:3
Control: didn't alter anything
Clarity:3
Likemindedness:6
Dreamscape:4
Overall:7

I fell back to sleep at around 5AM and woke at 11AM

In one dream, I was walking through some woods with my mom. She became exhausted, so I carried her for 3 miles. Deer kept jumping off cliffs, but didn't die. One deer was very curious looking- it's fur and coloring was like that of a white rabbit with a black circle around its eye.
Just as I was getting too tired to go on, we made it out to where the adventure had begun. There was a McD's nearby, so we went inside. They sold pizza lol.. My mom went right away to a booth. I went to the Soda machine to get a glass of Coke. It came out almost clear, like Sprite. I tasted it, but it was flavorless, so I dumped it and tried again. It was still yucky so I did without and went looking for my mom.
I almost cried when I realized our walking wasn't over yet. There was so much further to go before we were actually home. I thought about calling my dad to rescue us, but the dream changed.

BEFORE the walk, I was with my grandmother in a store. I was eating a hard boiled egg in the checkout lane and the cashier got onto me about it. But grams knew her and they started talking. As we bagged our items, I asked if I was hallucinating lol I told her something about 12 years and the fact I never heard about the cashier (who was a random DC). We had spoken briefly about my bio dad who I then saw trapped in a snow bank which lead to the dream of me walking through the woods with my mom.

At some point in time, I dreamed I was in a car with many people. I was in an unknown neighborhood. I was stuck in an awesome dream loop where the dream kept repeating itself at certain spots. The group I was with wanted some rare book from one of their mothers husband and boyfriends. Every time we messed up in obtaining it and/or getting away, the dream would begin again from the point of our arrival at the property. This was one of my earliest dreams. I forget the details because I was woken up mulitple times since I had it. All I truly recall is that is was amazingly bizarre.

At another point, I dreamed of drawing a picture and writing a poem. I was outside for most of it. On a piece of (grrr what's it called- the large "paper" used in school for projects/presentations) large project paper, were 2 boxes at the top and three below it. The middle one at the bottom was larger than the others, but in the dream, the boxes were still somehow equal in arrangement. In that center place, I was drawing a picture. The picture was of a boy and trees. That's all I recall. I remember liking the poem, but I can no longer remember it.
At one point, I was near an actual tree and a boy was drawn/etched into the bark. Someone said it looked like "Jonny" and I said that's who it started out as being- a little stick figure person someone recommended I draw.

I also dreamed of building a house in the woods. It was at the edge of a cliff on a very high point. I loved the house and the dream, but I've forgotten almost everything about it. I found a piece of cardboard, lol, at one point, that I thought would be a perfect window because of its shape.

The last dream I had before waking was the most disturbing. It started out as a carnival seen through the first dream I wrote about, while waiting at McD's. Then the dream zoomed onto one of the floats. It was like a giant puppet show where artists controlled the scene with wires and cloth. The were on each others shoulders like a cheerleading act though.
It was snowing and the police were called. A wheelchair was added to the side of a police cruiser as if a sidecar on a motorcycle. One of the artists became suspicious because no one in a wheelchair would ever come to this particular carnival. There were way too many hills.
From there, the dream went to murder scenes. I saw inside one woman's throat. She was giving oral sex when she died. Her throat was just a slit from the inside.
A witness was found, but she was a foreigner and I couldn't understand her. Somehow, we learned some man had killed his own daughter in the sex trade.
I was some woman (?)- a cop investigating the murders. I was at a carnival game where you throw darts to pop balloons. It was a scam where the owner called forth a challenger and you had to beat the challenger. We had the same number of darts but she was supposed to falling-over drunk. A fight began somehow and I knocked a light out with a pole. It was supposed to have been an accident, but i gave myself up as a cop because the guy saw through my act. We fought briefly on the ground, mostly with poles, but then we were then on top of the game. His leg got trapped and he fell over. I held one part of a pole that trapped his leg. He wanted me to let go so he could fall to his death. Instead, I gently lowered him to the ground where he was apprehended.

>>Most of these dreams were random. They came from things I spoke about or watched on TV before falling asleep.
Certain recurring themes, though, are things I'll have to think about: Cliffs, fathers.
I dreamed so often of snow because hubby told me it was sleeting/snowing right before I fell asleep.

I was able to recall two dreams just barely, although I'm pretty stressed right now and didn't get to sleep much tonight.

I can't remember much, but the first dream was basically the game Just Cause 2 with Mickey Mouse as the main character. Yeah, another gaming-related dream...

The other dream was about a huge party that my parents hosted. There were all kinds of people, even a bunch of people I just can't get along with, and one of them told me I was stupid. Unfortunately I forgot most of the dream, but I am sure that some Metallica songs were among the music they played, and Sandra was there for a while, but she left pretty early and then sent me a text later.

I had a dream last night that my dad had given me tickets to go see a Phillies game. Naturally, I invited my girlfriend (as she is a Philly fan for every sport) and some friends. We got there and my friends purchased additional tickets for the game. On our way to our seats we were greeted by a staff member who told my friends where to go to sit, and then I handed her my tickets and she said I couldn't go to my seats. She said beacuse they were in my Dad's name, I needed a copy of the insurance policy showing him and I being related. (???) So we stood close to where there was an elevator that would take us up to our seats, and when said employee wasn't looking we went in the elevator and up to the 4th floor. We were looking around for our seats, but could not locate them, then my girlfriend vanished. I was invited by a girl with a foreign accent to sit at the end of her row, and for some reason, her little brother kept trying to wrestle me. The game had just started but I couldn't see it from my seat. Some additional friends (girls) decided to leave and when they left I kissed them goodbye. It was a very odd dream, and I'm pretty sure I have whoever is reading this, laughing at me.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Good morning! Had one random dream last night.

22.00: Sleep

05.10: Fragment
*I'm a part of some random society. Like we're some primitive race or something. Raspberries keep rolling down the street going through our village. I get a brilliant idea and pick up a hockey stick. I catch the bouncing berries with it. People are amazed and we can eat again. They cheer. Dream skip. I'm talking to Eric in a store. He's about to go try some pillows with his girlfriend and I tell him he can get a ride from my dad who just entered the store.

05.10: Wake up

Amount of sleep: 7 hours

Supplements: None

That's it! Random I know. I'm not so sure I'll be having a lucid tomorrow, a few beers might be in my system by then, oh well.

Keep on dreaming, HARE BRA!

I have slacked off a bit with my dream journal, but I had vivid dreams all this while. Today I had many dreams, but I only remember the last one good.

I meet up with my old class from school, we are going on a school trip. First, I am running around town with PT. We are in what looks like a mall, and meet JS. I ask him what he's doing and how his study is going, but I can't remember his answer. We part, PT needs to get money from the bank. He goes to the counter, I notice an old man collapsing. I run to him, put him in a bag and transport him to the doctor, telling him what happened. The doctor takes the patient to another room. I go back to the bank, SI is working there. When customers are coming in, he asks the a question whether they are a member or not, the say no, he then says: "Then I can't help you". I think that he is rather unfriendly, and think about what would happen if the guys at the military would know about this. A doctor announces that the patient died. PT and I join up with our class again, having a nice time outside on chairs, under a tree. The sun is shining, we chat about something. Later, it gets dark, we all sit against a wall, leaning our heads on each others shoulders, and try to sleep. The person I got my shoulder on itches a bit, I notice that I have my earphones on and hear music. I try to shut the player off, but as I do, it still plays. I disconnect the earphones from the plyer and my ears, it still plays music. I wake up.

Or so I thought. I am now in a place near my house, the sun is shining, it's warm. I am wearing pants and a t-shirt, wondering how the dream just now was a dream. I decide to go back to my house, it strikes me weird that I am at this place only in underwear. I go in the direction of my house, and notice many police cars riding around. First, I think about whether they will stop me, because I am half-naked. But the cars have no interest in me. I notice that they have weird forms, and think that they are testing new kinds of shapes for police cars. Then, two bicycles pass by me, one of them is the postwoman. I start to run, trying to outrun them, we have an epic race, with many jumps. In one jump, i even kick one rider in midair. That was fun.

Then I really wake up. I am annoyed at my lack of skill, this dream had so many dreamsigns and oddities, it was almost like the dream wanted me to get lucid. But I am amazed by the length of the dream, it was only a 30 minutes long nap.

DJ Log: March 11, 2011 – 7:30AM (USA Eastern)
Text color legend: · NON-DREAM · NOTES · DREAM · LUCID ·

As I stand on a river bank, a gorilla carries a panda bear out into the river and sets it down in the water. The gorilla then plays with a couple of kinds that are playing in the water. I walk down from the river bank and climb out onto the rocks where several people are hanging out. A guy hands me a bowl and a lighter, but there is nothing in it. I hand it back and tell him that it needs a refill. He looks at me like I'm crazy and says, “Of course it's full. You can see the whole universe in there.” I shake my head and walk away from him. There are a couple of kids playing with a tarantula on one of the rocks. I finally stop and look at my hands, then become lucid. I look back at the water to see that a huge wave is coming up the river. Suddenly, I wake up.

DJ Log: March 11, 2011 – 6:30AM (USA Eastern)
Text color legend: · NON-DREAM · NOTES · DREAM · LUCID ·

I am walking around in my new house, checking to make sure the movers put everything where it's supposed to be. The smell of new carpet and fresh paint is in the air. As I walk by the sliding door, I see that I have a really nice ocean front view from my deck. I slide the door open and watch the water for a while. There is a storm off in the distance, causing some nice heavy waves to come crashing in. As I'm watching, a part from a pier washes by in one of the waves. I look down to see that the waves are going right under my deck, then look further down to see that my house is floating in the air and the waves are going right under it.

Touching Angelina

I am in an airport with Jack, Heather and Autumn. I see some famous chef in all white outside the big the glass walls of the entrance room we’re in. She’s with a guy in a gray tuxedo. I realize this is who Autumn came to meet. They are famous.

The chef woman has a pad of paper and I go take it from her and spit on a few of the first pages, hand it back to her, and run back in. When Autumn goes to meet them, they talk about how mean I am. The guy comes in and lectures me on being nice. He tells me how Autumn emailed him. He’s some political guy. I don’t really care about any of them and let them leave.

Heather points out an Arabic guy and gets really afraid he’s going to bomb the place, so we all book it to the car outside. Heather steps in dog shit and slides into the front seat. We all laugh about it. I’m in the back.

Everything kind of turns into a big giant ship. We are all part of a ship, and the ship is made of lego blocks. Heather and Jack are green and blue blocks and I am red blocks. I start taking my pieces away from the ship and they question why. I don’t really know why, I just want my own ship. So I take all my pieces, make my own ship with red and black blocks, and zoom away.

I fly to a clothing store. I am now inside. I start looking around for a full length mirror because I remember I haven’t shampooed my hair in a long time and I’m self conscious. I look through a big mittens section of the store and find a few different mirrors but they are all too close to my face. I find a little hat and wear it, thinking it will cover my hair.

I find a mirror and see that I have really long hair (not in waking life) and a center part. The hat looks not too bad on me. I start walking around and find a section of really nice textured dresses. I touch them all. I realize Angelina Jolie is one of the dresses, and she’s wearing it. I keep touching it anyway.



“You shouldn’t touch my family dress,” she says. She smiles and walks away. Wow, Angelina Jolie talking to me, what the fuck! I get really excited. I walk around some more.

There’s a little dark tunnel section of the store with a map of the whole place in it. A lot of people are just hanging out in here. I ask about Angelina Jolie being here. They tell me she’s starring in a movie here, with her girlfriend, a young girl my age. What! I get jealous. That could be me! I start walking around the store more.

Outside the little tunnel, the set is displayed. I see the girl. She’s half Emma Watson and half a girl I know from school. She’s being filmed. I sneak around the set and find myself in a new area of the store. There’s a big stage. I enter kind of next to the stage and am facing a giant crowd of sitting people. They are watching an opera show. It’s really dark. The whole store is kind of dark, like there are no lights on, but you can still see with the natural light.

I move on. I sneakily enter into a little passageway into a room. They are storing all the costumes for the movie here. I manage to take a stuffed animal that is the symbol and mascot of the movie. It’s reminiscent of Mickey Mouse the original but the head is just one giant black blob.

I take it to the passageway of people in the tunnel. They’re all surprised at how I got this. I told them I was practically invisible and just grabbed it. Pete Wentz, the bassist of Fall Out Boy, is here in the tunnel too. He takes the doll. The people tell me the girlfriend actor is also in a new band with him. I get jealous again! Why does she get all these cool opportunities? (Why was my dream mind judging her SO HARD??)

The girl is now in the tunnel too. She is talking about doing an interview with Pete on some TV show.



“Will it be just us or the whole band?” she asks Pete. Pete explains it will probably be just them because they are the “face” of the band.

“I always liked when the whole band showed up,” I told Pete. “I like when I get to see Joe.” I ruffled his hair and left. Outside on the set, Angelina had makeup on so she didn’t even look like herself. Some teenage boy kept telling me to look at how different she was. The girl came out and they filmed a part. We all went back into the tunnel.

Somehow I had a connection with Angelina even though we didn’t really speak that much (perhaps we did, and I don’t remember). She started to take off her makeup. I sat down and thought about how much I didn’t like the girlfriend. Now Angelina came over and started to take off her dress. She kind of straddled me while standing up and began to take her clothes off. I wanted to touch her legs, but could I do that? It was fucking Angelina Jolie and she was taken.

I noticed her legs were Heather’s legs: they had her scars on the thighs. I wake up.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a huge grocery store. At some point I was in the produce section. A boy and girl and possibly one more child, all siblings, stood at some stand displaying apples or some other kind of fruit. One of the children may have been writing on a piece of paper that was resting on the apples.

Dream #2

I was in a dim room that was full of people. The place was like a club mixed with a museum. I sat on a really low chair or sofa made of red leather.

A bunch of little kids would come up and sit with me. They didn't know me. They just thought I was interesting. I was kind of flattered. A few of the kids were Asian. Their dad was nearby, looking at paintings and talking to people. One of the Asian kids looked like an old person. He had longish hair, but he was balding on top.

I and one little boy were now watching what was supposed to be Gentlemen Prefer Blondes on a video screen in the floor. The screen was about the size of a small TV screen.

In one scene, Marilyn Monroe walks into a fountain at night. She was apparently naked, and she apparently said "bon appetit," though I did't hear or see any of this. The boy asked me what bon appetit means.

I tried to explain to the boy that it didn't mean anything bad. The scene now replayed itself. I thought, there's no way Marilyn Monroe was naked in this movie. They wouldn't have allowed it!

Marilyn now walked into the fountain, which was an enormous pool of water at the foot of a staircase before a huge building. She was wearing a thin, body-length dress. The soaked dress became kind of, but not extremely, see-through.

Marilyn now swam up to the camera, which was positioned at the side of the huge fountain, and said "bon appetit."

Now all kinds of weird blue and green digital drawings blotted onto the screen like crude versions of fireworks.

Dream #3

I was walking home at night. But somehow I had lost my way. I was walking through some kind of suburban neighborhood. I would turn down streets and think I was finally in the right place. But then I'd see I was still in the wrong place.

At one point I got to a streetcorner which looked exactly like a streetcorner near my house. But it was completely empty, and the buildings were all shut down and featureless, maybe even windowless. I wondered what had happened to my neighborhood. But I suddenly realized this wasn't my neighborhood. The buildings I was looking at were part of some huge hospital.

I turned around and walked another way. I was now in the parking lot of some area like a church. I felt like I might not even have been in the right borough. I turned to walk out of the parking lot. I grabbed my phone, which was my old phone, to try to get an idea of where I was.

I wondered how I'd gotten so lost. It didn't seem possible. I thought, Maybe I'm dreaming. I didn't think it was possible, but I tested myself anyway. I jumped up into the air to see if I could fly. I began floating a little bit. So I was dreaming.

I couldn't control my flight. I was floating backwards. I managed to get floating forward, about 3m off the ground. I was coasting through some suburban neighborhood. I still didn't know where I was. I told myself, You can't see where you are because it's dark. If this is your dream, then make it light.

So I made it light outside. But the world suddenly got very blurry.

I was now floating down toward something. I thought I had woken from my dream. I floated past one of my co-workers, C, who was giving some self-important lecture about something.

I was down in the frozen food section of some grocery store. I was looking at some children's picture book or some piece of paper on which I'd scrawled some stuff. I was still thinking to myself what a disappointment it was that I'd woken from my lucid dream.

I was bodiless. Moving across what I took to be an ancient landscape, very close to the ground. There was sand and lots of little creatures roaming around underneath the sand. I couldn't see them, I could only see moving bulges and little dark spots. I followed one in particular and had the impression it was a Trilobite or Silverfish.

I had the feeling a disaster was pending... I noticed there was a towering layered rock structure in the middle of the sandy area I was exploring. It had a number of large holes and caves in it. I moved up about halfway to a larger cave opening. There, was a small blue-ish Triceratops. Noticing my bodiless presence, it became instantly spooked. He rotated to move away, and his backside bumped me back down to the sandy bottom.

Then, I zoomed away and re-entered my body. I was now at the PC looking at this scene from software I was running. I saved "my game" and commented to my best friend Joe who was sitting beside me. He remarked how cool that was. His Mom and my Mom entered the room and sat at a large table behind me. (This was not a home I recognized.) His Mom proceeded to make two peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches, except she covered the outside of the bread with peanut-butter as well. My Mom also had a plate with two messy looking sandwiches.

Joe's Mom commented to Joe, "Now you have to make me one!" He seemed overly excited about the prospect saying, "Okay Mom, sounds good!" I remember thinking the food didn't look very appealing...

I had this dream last night. This is my second documented dream including Joe and Dinosaurs: Dream: 007

So I had a nightmare last night...Or tonight rather...I got up to journal it before I forgot the minor details...I am half asleep so grammar might be funky...

My lucid dream count is up to 2 now...This nightmare freaked me out so I ended up waking up because of it...

So...I got some home insurance from a company that is small in my nightmare, and I went with it...but every once in awhile i would see this van drive up and around the caldisac (street with dead end). Well in my dream/nightmare I actually had some form of dream control over it...which is good but I still got waken up.

The driver of the windowless van was hispanic (sorry i do not mean to racially profile but it happened...) and I ended up recognizing him subconsciously from other lucid dreamss since i got a better look at him this time.

Basically I "zoomed in", saw the guy, got freaked out, let my dream collapse...and forgot to teleport to my happy place because I was scared. I ended up chasing him off just by running at him! Which is when i found out my nightmare was lucid...

~Icy

I had a VERY emotional day which reflected itself in my dream.
I took 150 mg Seroquel so I could sleep and avoid the world for the day, but they didn't kick in fast enough. I fell asleep at around 3PM and woke in a SUPER crabby mood at 1 AM.
Before sleeping, I gave myself a heart tattoo on my right leg and gave in to some other self injurious behavior.
I only recall snippets of dreams though.

In one, my youngest daughter found a diary entry about how picking my face is the only thing that makes me feel good and she cried and jumped all over me for my behavior.
>> When I'm super irrational I want to disfigure myself. I never do though. My face is off limits, but the thought alone triggered the dream.

In another dream, I lost my car. I had been driving it and the vehicle was completely unresponsive. I tried driving straight, and it did donuts. It was very scary. I managed to park it somewhere and I went off for a carnival or something. But then I couldn't remember where it was parked. I enlisted the help of some people and though I've forgotten the specifics, most of them were very mad at me.
>>> Driving = how I feel about my life. It's completely out of control and I have no support from the people in my life who are supposed to be trying to help me.

I've entirely forgotten the most emotional dream. All I recall is something about power outlets, walking through a neighborhood, being out of time.

I dreamed something, at some point, about cockroaches again.

My 15 year old daughter was taken from me today, IRL. She went straight from the Judges chambers to a shelter about 4 hours away. As soon as a bed becomes available, she's going to a juvinile facility because of the Kindle she stole last November. The State is going to be back in my life because of the incident and I think I would rather die than have to deal with them again. I'm giving my gun to my hubby later today for him to hold on to. I'm not suicidal though. Not yet anyhow.
When I woke, I had no Coke's in the fridge and my bedroom light blew. I started crying and cussing lol. The kids hadn't done their chores. I have no bulbs to brighten my room.
What a perfect start to a shitty day.