Recent DJ Posts

From 17/05

Bf wakes up for a quick bathroom visit. In the meantime, I'm trying to fall asleep and end up wilding in the bedroom. Everything is very blurry and I'm a bit surprised to be here so fast. I take a moment to examine my hand and move it around to make sure this is a dream and not HI. A little bit of trouble manoeuvring around possibly feeling minor paralysis feedback from my real body. In spite of the blurriness, it gives me the impression of an OBE, everything is the same and the light in the room is exactly the same as during that time. I head down the corridor and towards the bathroom thinking that bf will come out any moment now. He comes out and sees me, looking rather distressed and backs away. I start worrying about what he thinks he sees and me causing all this stress so I decide to wake up immediately and explain.

I wake up. Bf still hasn't come out.

Date 19/5. Dream start: don't know..may be early morning. Dream end: Sweet wake up at 8:30 morning .

This is my first DJ, but it was so vivid I have to tell someone but I don't have a person close enough to tell them about my dreams .
I'll list out what might have led to the dream.

I'm a 22 years guy with lonely life. Never even talked to a girl at personal level.

I'm not a K-pop fan but I like the singers' looks as I like Asian girls. I think they are cute and fun.

I watch way too many videos.
Yesterday night watched MxR Skyrim mod review Showcasing an Asian skyrim follower mod (only writing about relevant video) I watched a (semi) horror movie called Anna (2013). I thought the actress was very cute.

I masturbated before going to sleep (If that's relevant and accepted here).

So, the dream starts off nowhere(duh). There is this cute girl, who looks like an Asian girl but had a smile and eyes differing from any Asian stereotypes. She was not at all related to any girl I saw ever in any video or real life. My brain had sculpted her and it sculpted it extremely attractive.
So, when dream starts, I am in a big, wide, open, empty, white and shine kind of room. Looks like a drama practice room. The girl, whose name was unknown, walks into a sleek whitish creamy dress. And I am, in first person, is a guy supposed to get a kissing lesson from her (). In the dream mind, there was a back story that I want to take a kissing lesson from the girl for some random girl I don't know about even in dream. I did not visualize her in the dream.
(I know nothing about kissing, I haven't seen any kissing tutorials online, and my brain is teaching me how to kiss. Nice one brain!)
So she enters with a majestic walk, and starts to talk (in english, not my mother-tounge). Starts telling me something about lips should not be wet and sloppy to deliver a great kiss.
So, she asks me to try kissing on her. It was a extremely wet kiss . Even I felt filthy. She showed a face with strong disapproval. I apologized saying I got nervous.
She said, OK. Try again. I dry up my lips and try again. Best kiss ever. She appreciates and says that drying up made a huge difference.

I think that is where lucidity kicked in.

I asked her I needed the kiss for a special occasion. I wanted to propose a girl (that didn't matter). She said Ok. She asked me to widen up foot gap a bit, stand confident and propose to me and then kiss. I stand straight, and say "I want to ask you a question, Will you (my eyes rolling away from her pretty face) Marry me? (suddenly staring at her eyes giving the best love look I ever would've)" Her blue eyes staring at my, started to get tears. She starts crying, saying "I don't know". I wipe away tears from her soft cheeks, assuring her "Honey, why are you crying? When I'm with you there will be nothing to cry about" and I kiss her. Best Kiss ever (better that the previous one). I lift her up and rotate like in a fairy tale. We were gazing each other smiling and just being in deep sea of love . (Now that's cheesy, but it didn't felt that way in dream).
Here the end begins. My lucid self realize I am not capable of lifting her up like that (I'm a thin guy). I drop on her back hitting her head to the floor. Fortunately not blood and gore in this dream. She just laughed in pain and I cracked a joke line saying, "I hope i did not cracked that watermelon!"

Here the dream ends. I wake up remembering the complete dream (I'm writing it down after 18 hrs), I wanted to go back to sleep to spend time with her but there were things to do in the morning so I couldn't.

I think I have found reason's behind every event.

Liking an Asian looking girl is obvious. Dreaming of falling in love of a beautiful girl is the only thing I can do, so that is also explained.
Hitting her accidentally relates to my past. I have hurt someone I love, friends and family, physically which I didn't mean to but could completely avoided if I would've kept my hands in my pockets. I apologize to them right after and crack a joke to try to make them feel better, but I don't feel good at all. I always feel guilty of my deeds however hard I try to apologize to them. Those incidents are like scars that never seem to heal.

Hope you liked it!

19/5/2014
i only remember fragments of my dreams
one was in world of warcraft, except it was night time and in this area that is hard to describe. it was hilly and had a cobblestone road, there was me and two tauren druids. i remember trying to kill them because im alliance and theyre horde. that was a really long dream and it all took place in that one small area. i also remember an undead priest at one point. i almost remember being a druid and going into bear form

another dream was an age of empires 2 dream, i have a little video that shows explosions going off at some parts, and the explosions were much bigger and huge and some even had shockwaves. sometimes it glitched out and showed an army of paladins or teutonic knights, but they'd all disappear in an instant. i remember at one part several villagers are running to this section, and when they go in it switches to a scene where theyre inside a wooden building and it has train tracks in it. i remember thinking "i dont remember this part of the video..." and i was controlling it like a game, i made them hide in this section of train tracks. i remember them huddling to hide from something (idk what!)

another dream i had was of me kissing the girl i like, we paused for a second and i thought "maybe i should do a RC" BUT THERE WAS NO TIME as soon as i thought that back to kissing her

Morning of May 19, 2014. Monday.



There is some sort of bizarre sound pulsing like a drawn out male soprano “Weeeeee” (pause) “Weeeeee” (pause) “Weeeeee” in groups of three as such, but a bit layered sounding, as with some sort of extreme detuning effect. I am not sure what this is. It is not a main part of the dream scene, I do not think. Maybe this is going on in another classroom.

This is my fear and moment of pure eeriness. This is reality pausing from negative infinity. When I was six and the bell rang while I was in the basement sports arena, the children running down the flights of stairs which I heard through the doorway of the basketball court always painted an image of terrifying violent geese and the coach seemed like some sort of eerie giant ogre who could pick me up and throw me like a paper airplane at any moment. “That is not how you bounce the ball!” he screams at me, and then does a comedic impression of me bending down and bouncing the ball with only a few inches to spare in the bounce. So much for me trying to look cool. I guess the giant pale buffoon and child-terrorizer never heard of the Harlem Globetrotters. And so I was kept an extra hour and missed math class because this big pale buffoon thought I had a disability and was uncoordinated. Thanks a lot, Harlem Globetrotters…

Charlie Brown is an accident victim, apparently, and a real human being. I am not a child, but neither is Charlie Brown. We seem to be back in school near where I lived on Rose Street. There is a lot of construction paper around as well as bottles of glue, pipe cleaners, and crayons. Charlie Brown seems a bit of a disturbed soul, as if he is planning some sort of revenge. He is wearing the same shirt as always. There seem to be (briefly?) Q-Tips sparsely stuck in his hair, which has something to do with using them to lightly use glue on something. The shirt is as it is, in design, because it is the same shirt as he wore during his accident and never changed it. The black pattern across his yellow top is actually a tire track! (Who would have thought?)

He did not die after lying in the street for days. He finally got up and returned to his life’s routine. (“Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.)

The class project is of outer space. A lot of stars have been cut out, as well as Saturns and crescent moons.

My area is the “fanciest” (to the far left) for a time. An unknown girl, oddly dressed - sort of like Cat Woman - is also working on the project. I then focus on the fact that she was the “cat burglar” all those years ago on Rose Street. I say “Oh it’s you” and she replies, “Yes it’s me. I have been with you always.” Looking closer, I see it is my wife at around age eighteen. I point and say “Oh look, it’s her…” No one cares. She is not of their path.

Something dawns on me and I approach Charlie Brown. I tell him about a real-life experience, during that exact same time period around the time the “cat girl” was a dream friend. I had been crossing the street while a deck of educational mathematics cards (Whitman flashcards) had fallen from my notebook binder. A few of the cards blew over the street near the intersection and one car ran over one of them. The crossing guard eventually came over and waited until I was able to pick up all the cards, holding off the oncoming traffic. The card with the “two plus two” pattern had a diagonal smudge of dirt across it from the tire of a car that had ran over it. For some reason, I kept these cards until I was about thirty and gave them to my brother Earl’s kids even though they had stress and fold marks. Having returned later on, I had seen them in a large bag filled with rubbish, but did not reclaim them.

I have a false memory of the crossing guard coming out (who was a very chubby female, who looked almost squarish in her uniform) and looking at me and saying “There is a lot you do not remember, Sparks.” Her eyes glow silvery blue. This is a nickname from “Contact” (1997) said by the David Morse character who played the Source in one of my last dreams. I “return” from this “memory” and say to Charlie how I can relate very well to him, implying the tire mark on that card is like the tire mark across his shirt and he looks at me with disdain. He turns around and starts spinning, yelling “I’m gonna be shot outta the cannon!” I look a little closer at his face and notice it is dirty, and his nose is running with the top part of his mouth covered in mucous.

He runs and tears most of the middle section of the space display section (while holding onto the first edge), ripping it across. “All lies!” He says “These aren’t real stars!” For a moment, he looks like the cartoon Charlie brown. He huffs and puffs, running and jogging in short increments as he goes across the room.

Somehow, in no time, he is immediately (more like instantly) in the cannon with his head sticking out. Ed Sullivan’s voice announces “Presenting…a really big shoe…Charlie Brown…the human…cannonball…” The fuse is lit and out and up he goes, like a rocket.

Charlie Brown has high goals. People look and point. It is wonderful for Charlie to go out among the real stars - as he tore up the class project because it was not “real” for him. People are still annoyed. Suddenly terror breaks out. He “pops” in a fizzled shower of small fireworks, fading fairly quickly. The “cat woman” and I kiss intimately, rising into the air and glowing and going higher and higher.

May 18, 2014: Took 100mg 5-HTP and 480mg powdered, encapsulated ADR: I am at a gathering of people, like a farmer’s market set up at the periphery of a large outdoor parking lot. The parking lot is full of cars, including my own Camry, which I have parked. I’ve been told I have some kind of “internal condition” which was spotted on an MRI or CT scan and I need to take a particular medication or antibiotic to treat the condition.

I am with a person wearing a white lab coat. He has a rectangular box which contains at least one zip lock baggie inside of which are three differently colored, very tiny pills in a foil pack which are to be taken orally. The color coding refers to the three different dosages of the pills, but it is initially unclear which is the high dose and which is the low dose, or what order in which they need to be taken. There is also a tuberculin syringe in the box, but I don’t need that.

I go to leave the market and search and search for my car. I use my key fob to press the panic button to get the horn to beep and headlights to flash, but still cannot hear, see, or locate my car. I wander all around in my search, and even though others have left and there are fewer cars, I still can’t find mine. On several occasions a car is seen to flash a single headlight when I press my fob, but it is never my car. A girl tries to tell me some old junky car is mine, and I tell her no it isn’t, I have a gas/electric hybrid Camry.

The scene shifts to a street where I am speaking with a dream character who asks me if I play basketball with a particular guy. I lie and say yes. He says he does too. The scene shifts again and I am in a car attempting to drive on a road which is deeply rutted with ice many inches thick. In some spots there are ice formations up to a foot high in the road. I come to an intersection where I can only turn left or right. In front and above me is a separate elevated roadway. At my ground-level intersection left leads to Brooklyn, and right will take me to the east. I turn right.

Now I am in a hotel-like, well-lit corridor with two other dream characters, one of whom was a childhood friend, Ray L******* whom I have not seen in over forty years. I am having a lot of trouble moving down the hall, which all of us are urgently trying to do. It feels as if I am trying to move through jello instead of air. I reach out my hand and Ray pulls me along a bit. This helps. I also grasp onto the corner of any table, cabinet or handrail I encounter to try and keep moving forwards. After much effort we finally make it to a dorm-like room or four-bed hospital room. My bed is the one just inside the door. Although there are three other beds, I know that the one nearest the door is mine because my initials are monogrammed into the bedspread. The two dream characters and I arrive at the dorm room ahead of Helen M***** and her daughter who will also be sleeping in this place. I am surprised that it is co-ed. I wake.

.../Some kids are sitting around a table discussing the best name for a puppet character which was a TV show during the 90's. They all agree it would be named "Teddy the chubby friend". I "remember" it was always the name for the TV show and I think it couldn't be more accurate/...

* It wasn't at all. The TV show name was "Karina y Timoteo".

.../I see the sequence when a friend of mine receives a tattoo machine as a gift/...

Nap after work:

.../I'm in the room where I lived during my school times. I want to go to sleep when I realize some spiders have built their web between the ceiling and the window. I take a better look and see there are at least 10 spiders in a mass of webs, the bigger ones are deep in the mass, I remember some used to be the size of a little peach . I remember the big ones gave me the creeps. The webs hang above half of my bed, but they are too close that my hand gets stuck in one of them. I decide that I have to clean it up. My wife/ex-girlfriend (who I will call from now on, Simili) helps me. I want to use the vacuum cleaner but I don't remember where it is. I go to my older aunt's room, and see some other spiders there, but they are not many although the webs are huge. My aunt tells me something about some people were pruning trees in the street, now it's all clear to me. I see through her window some webs hanging from the street lighting.
Simili tells me the vacuum cleaner is in my Aunt-mom's room. I go there and my aunt-mom tells me she put it into her closet. I take it "remembering" there was something about this thing. I get back to the room. The spider webs are huge now and there are more and more spiders. I see one of them walking on the floor. I want to take a picture of it. I try to focus the camera but the spider on the floor moves too fast. I can't, it's enough, I step on it before it hides under the bed. When I see the spider webs again I see a lot of multicolored butterflies hanging there too. I have to take a picture of that spectacle, it's amazing. When the automatic focus of the camera tries to focus the image it pulls the webs to my hands. It's disgusting, I put the camera back and all goes back to its place. I try a couple of times more but always the web gets attracted to the camera and it's impossible to take a picture/...

* Woke up remembering spiders used to be a dream sign.

5/19/14

Last night, bed 9:45 - 1:50am Woke up and excited thoughts didn't let me sleep again. Got up, had some food, watched TV, DVed for an hour 2:45 - 7am sleep

DR:

We have to sleep over at some place, because we missed something. We follow a group to a place that looks like church grounds, or castle. As we are walking through the gate in the fence, a guy that looks like a church grounds keeper hurriedly enters through another door, as if he didn't want us to see him.

We walked through the corridor and me and some guy stop. We get a bad feeling about what's ahead. We are told by some chicks "not to be scared, it's just some dark forces and dark magic". An image of red candle enters my mind (from movie clip A linked me yesterday).

So me and this guy are like "hell no, we are outie". Turn around and later we are hopping through some concrete fences, climbing on some lower ones to reach the higher ones, till we are out.

*

Change of scene. I'm still looking for a place to sleep. I open the door into a large room in the dormitory style building. It actaully is not a dormitory, it's just temp sleeping place. The room is full of fornicators. There is sucking and licking and doing it going all everywhere. Naked bodies in all kinds of situations. I'm not sure I want to enter there.

To be continued*

So I keep looking, but now I'm in a mood. I find 2 guys and I ask them if they wanna do it. Half way through it, I snap out of my daydreaming and get pissed at myself, that i wasn't paying attention to the beginning.

Change of scene.

I still keep looking. (wth im looking for?) Come to a few rooms occupied by a family. But I don't know that. I only see two guys and again aske them if they wanna shag. One of them turns out to be an invalid with only one leg. They show me a bed, if it's good enough. It's a wooden, small bed, with dark blankets on it. I say "sure'. They say, but it doesnt have any mattress on it. I'm like, wth cares? Then I say "ok, so lets pick this bed, belongs to the father of the family. They have some kind of an excuse. But someone went out in the meantime and now he is showing me 3 boxes of condoms. An older woman walks by and tells me she will shag me too. They are all milling arround, getting ready, as if this was daily occurence. I'm like, wow, I may have bit off more than I can chew.

Tonight I.. My dream tonight took place outside near a well, I was next to the well with a woman I considered close to me and had a close feeling towards. She had carmel skin with dark brown eyes that i could not see the pupil of. Her skin was aged. She was trying to get my attention, looking me in the face as I seemed to be in a daze between 'realities' I soon realized she was trying to talk to me and focused in, she told me that the men where coming. Nearby were tented forts and shade was near. The jug I had in my grip was bronze/gold and very long & slender, it seemed more festive than practical for water carrying. When I was looking at the jug I noticed I was wearing pale indigo robes and dark brown sandals and I had the same skin complexion I do now. In my dream I knew I was menstruating, and a sensation brought me to consciousness. I then used the restroom and started my period.

I experience dreams that tell me I'm going to start my period before I do almost every single cycle, I find it interesting. I also wonder why I tend to dream in this time period (seeming to be around the time of Christ). If it is a past reality, why is my complexion the same in this dream? Sometimes I wonder if I am interacting in heaven.. Wondering if anyone else gets warnings before their period starts? zzZZ
Until next time ~tendre

I haven't made any entries in a while, mostly because the dreams are on and off and haven't been lucid since I had my first one where I was flying. I made attempts this morning to go into lucid dreaming and I just can't time it right. I pinch my nose and I know it's me doing it and I'm more awake than before. But then I finally went to sleep and didn't get to go into lucid dreaming, but I did end up having 2 dreams about a place I thought I had put at the back of my mind and would never be plagued by in my dreams.

Dream 1

I was seeking out the Jesus Army. I found one of their members and called out to him. "If you guys think I'm still demon possessed then deliver me!" I shouted to him, but he started walking away into a building with the rest of the people wearing their army-clad jackets. "Please, if I am demon possessed then don't leave me like this! I'm begging you!" I pleaded. He suddenly turned around and slammed his palm onto my head, shouting all kinds of things. I just stood there eyes closed tight with tears flooding down my face. His hand was forceful as if he was trying to push me down, but I stood my ground. Eventually he stopped and stared at me, not knowing why I wasn't responding to his prayers. He looked at the rest of his friends who had stopped in their tracks and were watching him confused to why I wasn't writhing on the ground or screaming out. I opened my eyes half expecting to be a new person or just myself. They started talking to themselves and I knew they were trying to come up with an excuse to why I wasn't responding and would say that the demons were ejected through crying. I knew I was right all along, it was just me and nothing else, they could no longer spread lies that I was demon possessed anymore because they had nothing to cast out.

Dream 2

I was in Radcliffe trying to get on a bus back to Bury. I realised I was on a bus going in the wrong direction so I jumped off and ran across the road to the other side. It was seriously busy so the traffic was almost at a standstill. I couldn't find the stop for the 256 bus though (just to note, 256 bus route is nowhere near Bury.) I guessed it either had been removed and was somewhere further up the road or they had replaced the service with a different number. I kept on searching until I decided to go back and get the bus I jumped off earlier and wait for it to to a U-turn at the end of the line and come back. I raced after the bus and boarded it as it was halfway up the road.

We went out of Radcliffe towards a dual carriageway, and I was standing at the front of the bus near the doorway. The bus pulled off onto a large roundabout joining on to the dual carriageway and across the road I saw a massive brick building, newly built, with a huge red cross on it and a green logo with the words "The Jesus Fellowship" on it. "Oh god no, not the fucking Jesus Army!" I gasped. I wanted to get off the bus fast or have the bus speed up and go past it. We went round the roundabout and on one of the exits there was lines of terrace houses, the first one had a sign hanging out of it with the Jesus Army logo on it. Suddenly I was grabbed by my neck or had a knife to my neck and a familiar voice was talking to me in a low tone. I looked up into a rear view mirror and saw 2 men wearing Jesus Army jackets (note that the Jesus Army would never carry knives nor would they physically assault someone in public.) They dragged me off the bus to the large congregation hall where hundreds of people were listening to a sermon. I was forced to sit down at the back of the congregation which had now expanded out onto the tarmac outside where all their cars and minibuses were parked. I tried to get away but they were guarding me until they got more people to team with them. They gathered around me and began praying, pressing on my head and holding my arms so I wouldn't get away and aggressively praying and trying to cast out demons. I managed to break free and ran through the rows of parked cars. I turned around and shouted at them "You are all full of shit!" I realised that my shouting out would've made them even more convinced there were demons inside me and more determined to cast them out. I turned back to continue running for my freedom but one of the men had been ducking behind the last row of cars and he mowed me down like a rugby player and I was planted to the ground. Again they surrounded me praying and I screamed out wanting to break free as they shouted their prayers out even more louder. I stopped struggling as I realised it was futile, and I just lay there panting for air with tears running down the sides of my face.

The next thing I was calm and docile and doing everything they were telling me to do. It was as if several days had passed and I had become submissive like a drone. I asked politely if I could call my husband to let him know I was ok so he wouldn't be calling the police to report a missing person. I was on the phone talking to him like I was high on a drug. "I was wrong about them, they are fine" I said on the phone. "You've been brainwashed!" he shouted angrily down the phone. "No no" I begged him, but he hung up the phone on me.

The night before a contact lense appointment, I dreamed that my glasses had holes in them and had become very fragile.

Last night, I dreamed that there were flowers blooming quickly and spontaneously around me. I watched a white lilac bush burst into bloom before my eyes.