Recent DJ Posts

I recentely left a construction site where I was disguise as a construction worker and was observing the area with another detective. He appeared to look younger than 13 but seem sharp. That's when he tells me the guy we were looking for was near. I hid in a store and began wondering where was anyone? That's when the boy knock on the door telling me to get ready. We enter another building, the inside of this place was completely dark with water leaking from pipes. Then out of a door a large transparent blue hand grabs the boy and then slams the door shut. It was so fast that my eyes couldn't anticipate the sudden movments. That's when an FA occured and I found my hand tied to a fan that was about to turn on. This wasn't adding up, I then said I was dreaming, Moments later I manage to brake free of the wires holding me down. My focus was not concentrated enough to remain lucid through this experience. I then wake up. Lucidity time: 5 seconds.

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

To get these lucid dreams I used the SSILD technique with WBTB after ~4-5 hours of sleep.

Lucid #9 - Minecraft I guess
I kind of wake up in the dream world knowing that it's a lucid dream, it's dark and I question whether I'm even asleep. I'm also pretty scared because I had some scary though or something before falling asleep, I just willed the emotion away which worked pretty easy. I use my willpower and the world around me becomes lighter and lighter and I manage to find an exit to outside. It's nice and bright outside now, I'm wandering around and the first thing I notice is that everything is minecraft-pixelated, everything is blocky and there are cliffs and trees all around me, even I'm made of blocks. This dream only lasts a few minutes.

Lucid #10 - Sexy time
Once again I'm just aware that it's a dream and my goal becomes more sexual, so I start kind of testing it since I've never tried it in a lucid dream. I was on a farm by a fence and I think there are 2 girls.. and I'll leave that part out .. After a while I just seem to wake up again, probably a bit longer than the last lucid, maybe ~5-10minutes.

Lucid #11 - Sexy time again
I wake up at about 9 and think that I should probably get up, but I end up falling back asleep. I'm lucid again and I'm at my parents house now, and I seem to be trying to have more sexy time, but then something happens and I'm off wandering around again. I decide that I should try find that girl again so I walk around looking for her, then I seriously start to doubt whether or not it's a dream... EVERYTHING is perfect, the house looks exactly like the real thing, it doesn't 'feel' like a dream and there's nothing remotely dreamlike happening around me... It just feels normal. I then rationalize through it, remembering where I should be and that there's no way I could be at my parents house, I then say in my head "it's definitely a dream damnit". I turn my head to the doors down the hallway and they seem to stretch out a bit as I will something to happen, the feeling that I know this is a dream comes back. I then run towards it (which takes a while because it was still stretching away from me) and push through the doors, I run outside and look for that girl and shout her name now, confident that my parents won't bother me since they're not real. She appears around the corner and I get her and take her back to my room. Sexy time happens again so I'll leave that out, also I was convinced it was night time in real life because the world around me was getting darker, so I willed the world to light up again and it worked.

Notes: These lucids were pretty low level and I felt like I had a lot of control, they were progressively become more realistic with each successive lucid, but they weren't particularly vivid.

As Constantine, I'm strapped to a chair again while a man in a suit - a different one from last time, older - is loading a film strip into a projector. When he turns it on, it shows an external shot of Ravenscar. I remember this moment in time, this guy with the projector - this is when I was sealed off from magic. It wound up only being temporary, but the observer side of me is terrified of getting caught in the start of that without being able to stick around long enough to come out the other side. I don't want those mental associations getting into my head. I bail out of Constantine's perspective.

I'm on a small boat, the size of a rowboat but moving under its own power, taking me and several others in their own boats across a lake. It's surrounded by walls, artificially made, rounded so that the lake as a whole is circular - I associate this with the moon. The walls are composed of several giant slabs of pale stone, many of them carved with some message in hieroglyphics. Once I notice this, I have the boat back up to the first stone with carvings on it. It starts with the name of the artist and a short line in praise of the king who commissioned this work. The next panel includes two jackals, along with a lot of hieroglyphics I can't read, and I wonder whether the jackals are Wepwawet or someone else - there's nothing that looks like a name or a title, even among the hieroglyphics I can't read. In fact, I'm not sure I should call them hieroglyphics at all - aside from that first panel with the artist's name, the rest of this represents concepts, not words. The symbols I can recognize on the third panel include two rattles and a woman kneeling. This represents music and dance. It becomes clear to me that this entire series of symbols is depicting a prayer ritual - not just depicting it; the walls themselves are a prayer given physical form.

There's a woman who's been running from a very powerful man, and I've agreed to bring her back to him. But the powerful man isn't the one I'm doing this for - the woman's uncle is the one who made a deal with me. For the sake of the rest of his family, he needs to stay in that powerful man's good graces. Now that woman's standing on some platform above me, I'm on the ladder below. She's pointing to two objects on that platform just out of my line of sight, saying, "This is that gun you've been waving around, and this-" But I don't stop to hear the second part - I reach up and knock that gun off the platform, out of both of our reach. She tries to stop me, holding a knife, but she reacts too slowly, the gun's already gone. She shouldn't have wasted time trying to talk with me. We struggle over the knife for a bit, and I manage to turn it so it winds up embedded in the wooden platform instead of in me, but she recovers from that and quickly escapes before I can climb up the ladder.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

My partner and I are breaking a group of men out of a jail or dungeon or something similar. The men insist on taking the time to steal water from this place before they leave - they don't believe me when I tell them the place we're going will have plenty of water. It's faster to let them do it than to try to convince them - but for crying out loud, could you at least stick to the relatively sanitary stuff? Finally we get them moving, and we head up a flight of stairs, my partner leading them, me hanging behind to make sure we're not followed. I wind up falling further behind than I intended; at the top of the flight of stairs, we cross a long hallway with paintings on the walls, and then head down another flight of stairs. By this point I've fallen so far behind that I've lost them.

At the bottom of the flight of stairs, I'm in a place that's something like an airport lounge for travel between worlds, a transportation hub. The people here are speaking French, and I talk to one of them to confirm that I've arrived in the location we'd intended. Through a floor-to-ceiling glass window, there's a great view of the ocean and several green islands. It also overlooks several other glass corridors running through this place, and I see my partner leading the men from the jailbreak through one of them. They look completely bewildered. One of them sees me and gestures, clearly wondering how I managed to get over there. I should join them, but honestly, no one's chasing us, my partner's got the babysitting side of things covered, and that ocean looks really inviting.

After flying over the ocean for a while enjoying the view, I come across an area where a few people are swimming. I drop down into the water and join them. The further I go, the more crowded it becomes - it's beginning to get irritating. I try to talk with someone who seems interesting, but there's a woman right next to us showing off some kind of athletic feat who's talking constantly and difficult to hear over. I comment, "She's very loud, isn't she?" She immediately gets louder, ridiculously loud, and I remember that narrative versus command thing I'd been thinking about yesterday. Whoops. "Be quiet, please," I tell her, and while that's a command, she immediately goes back to a normal volume. Deciding to use the narrative to clear a little more space, I close my eyes, lose visuals, and describe the space clearing out - but while it does feel like I've got a little more space to move, when I open my eyes again, I find I'm opening my real ones.

So uh let's see.

I dreamed something interesting, fell back asleep like "I don't care enough to write it down," and then dreamed about playing Mario Kart at Apex 2015.

The Apex 2015 Racing Champion
And I was fricking kicking everyone's BUTT. Sort of.

So first it was just Ben and I racing together, and then it turned out that the times I was getting were qualifying me for Apex without me even knowing. So then, when I showed up to watch people race, they were like yo, you're already one of the top contenders. So I was like okay, here I go, and participated.

So it worked like this. Everyone would race on a map for the qualifiers, and then the people who set the best times for that would race each other. I placed first both times for the first map, which I don't particularly remember. I just remember thinking whoa, I'm placing first at Apex, that's crazy. And then the next map was so weird that I was like yo, I don't care if I don't get first. I gave it a shot anyway, though.

It was like, this snowy map that wove in and out of a mansion, and it was super confusing to tell which direction everyone was supposed to go. So people just picked random directions and ran off. And I mean ran, because at this point everyone's physical bodies had just been dropped into the map without any cars, so it became a footrace.

I think we all gave it our best shot for the first lap, despite not quite heading in the same direction. First, there was a big pond with a bunch of like, dead plants in it. Each plant was like a bunch of curved bony sticks that were juuust about piled together enough to support my weight, so I hopped across on the plants to save time. I was like yo this takes skill, no wonder I'm #1.

Also near the start of the map was a path going to the right, and later when I headed that way there were these two deep pits by the edge of the mansion. Contained in the pits were these two crazy monsters who could flip between being icy cold and lava hot, which was pretty terrifyingly violent to be around. They were kinda shaped like those Mimics from Live Die Repeat. Also, it seemed like their seeing me was enraging them into trying to get out and almost succeeding, so after a brief stint in that direction I left it entirely alone. I think they belonged to another participant.

Anyway, when actually running the race the first time I just remember bounding over the twiggy pond instead of taking the easier path and then having to run through snow as aggressively as possible in order to keep my speed up (it was that part of my mind that's always trying to make sure I come out on top in dreams, believing that snow was too difficult for them but not for me). Then there were bits where we ducked in and out of the mansion, but I'm pretty sure none of us really knew which path we were supposed to take. There was this tiny like, rat-sized official robot that was always following the correct path, and if you felt like moving through the race at a cool 1 mph you could stay back with it and see which turns it took.

I'm not sure what else happened. That earlier dream that was interesting that I forgot had something to do with being in a large room with a dragon or gryphon or something, which I was on good terms with. What even happened. I really gotta try to remember how to write my dreams down properly...

1. Somehow I enter a dream and I am already full Lucid. I am on a beach and it is nighttime. The sky is clear and I can see all of the stars. In fact, everything is crystal clear, and as usual, I feel like I am actually there. I walk around the beach and look at the ocean. The way the moon is shining on the ocean's surface looks beautiful. I continue walking closer to the ocean, and I actually think about going into when all of a sudden, "Wait what? What is this?" I think to myself.
I see a gray car parked in the middle of the beach, and it looks abandoned. It grabs my curiosity, so I walk over to it to inspect it. There's no one in the front seats. I go to the back passenger seats and open up the doors. What do I find? A fully naked blonde with a perfect body laying in a seductive pose. She seems as if she's been waiting for me. She give me a seductive look, and I can feel my masculine energy starting to grow exponentially. If I don't get out of here quick, she'll get me.
I stand motionless, thinking in my head, "There's no way I can just leave her here without a bit of fun first". I climb into the back seat, get on top of her, and start plowing her( a bit explicit, I know ). We go on for a while. Once I am done I get out of the car and look around. I feel a weird vibe, like there's actually "someone" in the dream with me. Everything is real. "Where am I really?" I think to myself. In my past 2 lucid dreams there has been someone that has been following me. I don't know if this is that same person or something else.
Besides the ocean waves splashing and the social activity around me, everything is quiet. This Lucid Dream goes on for ALOT longer, but from this point on I don't remember anything else.
This annoys me considering that the part I just told you, was only the equivalent of maybe 1/4 of the entire dream. The reason is because this Lucid Dream was way early in the morning, around 3,4, or 5 am. I don't know the exact time though. I do plan on finding out what is going on in my next LD.

2. I am in a school. I walk to a Physics's class. The door is already open and I walk inside. After walking inside, I take my wallet out of my pocket to check out how much money I have. As I open up my wallet and look inside to see how much I have, I see an unfamiliar bill. I only expected to have 3 dollars like I knew I had, but instead I find a bill that has the number "1,000,000" on it. I explode with excitement. I have 1 million dollars!
My first reaction is that I have to be dreaming. I think to myself, "I need to do a reality check" but I don't do it because of my excitement. I pull out the bill and look at it more closely. Now the numbers have changed to "11 1111 1". By mistake I figure that I just read the number wrong the first time. This saddens me because I wanted 1 million dollars, and now I don't even know what this number means.
I put it back inside my wallet, close it, and go sit down in a seat. I accidentally sit down in another guy's seat. I notice that it is his seat when he walks in and looks at me with a confused look. I then get out of his seat and move to "my" seat. Once I sit down in my seat I start thinking about the money again and it excites me. The mere thought that I could actually be rich was exhilarating. I talk to a few classmates around me, which, most of them are girls.

I went to bed at 11:00, and woke at 4:00. I took 8mg galantamine, 500mg choline bitartrate, 600mg Alpha GPC, and .5 mg melatonin. I tried the WILD instructions from "Advanced Lucid Dreaming, The Power of Supplements", but after awhile gave it up and set my intention to recognize the dream state and let myself fall asleep.

honestly when I read that it seems ridiculous to take all those pills. I got lucd, but I have had lucids without supplements that were of higher quality. I also noticed a great intensification and increase in the vividness of my NLDs after taking the supplements. The melatonin made it very easy to fall asleep. I will experiment further, but am not terribly impressed. Total time lucid was about 1.5 minutes. Dream seemed sort of "washed out." I had an average level (for me) of lucidity, could not remember goals, could not remember to locate my sleeping body, etc. dream follows:

I wake up and it's completely dark. I suspect I may be dreaming so I do a nose pinch state test. I am dreaming. I test again because it feels so cool. I can't see, and can barely move. I rub my hands together, pat down my arms and chest. I say "more clarity! More ️lucid awareness!" Several times, I feel increasingly alert, but it's still dark. I feel "in" the dream so with great effort I get out of bed, there is a strange and distinct "peeling" sensation as I stand up, like I am a Sticker being removed from its backing. I stretch out my hands and feel my way around the room. I bump into a wall with a distinct noise and sensation. It's still dark. I wake up again, in the same room but now it's daylight. It a generic bed and breakfast room. I get out of bed and walk over to look at a brocade-ish tapestry hanging on the wall. "This is what I bumped into last night" I think. I walk out of the room into a sort of dimly lit lobby area. It looks like a foyer in someone's home. There is a pair of French doors to my left. I realize again I am dreaming and walk over and push both my hands through the glass pane, past my elbows. They move through as though the glass were water. I push through further moving my head and shoulders through the glass to mid chest. Then I rotate my body so my chest faces the ceiling and my back is facing the floor. I think I am going to grave the pane above me and pull my legs through the glass. I see a short old man in the lobby. He has in a hat and leather jacket and looks like a mildly elderly Italian gangster. I immediately have a strong desire to karate chop him?? I instantly dis-entangle from the door contortion and cross the room to him, preparing to chop. He looks at me somewhat blankly. I realize what I am doing and stop. I look at him and say loudly " I love you man! I love you!!" His face lights up and he looks so happy, he starts laughing and I wake up

I woke up and wrote it down, it was 6:05. i went back to sleep for a jumble of very very vivid fragments.

I had a non-lucid prior to this that kinda laid the groundwork for the beginning of this one. The first one was about a girl who was rather I guess promiscuous and wanted to get naked in front of a bunch of people, and also wanted me to be naked.

After I woke up from the first I continued to lay there and then pictures of this same girl or a similar flew through my vision, kinda like a preview for a movie only showing quick snippits of what was going on and they were all sexual scenes. After this I found myself behind this girl holding her and thought, LUCID: this could be a dream. I focused on a counter that was right next to me and looked at it and felt it, it was wood and I could see the grain moving through it, I knew it was a dream at this point. I thought of a lucid task and thought of the doing something naughty and blaming it on a DC. I had to find something, I turned around pondering and found a popcorn cart, one with glass and the popcorn inside. I hit the back side of the glass and it broke. I pointed at a girl with me and the girl behind the cart wasn’t looking and didn’t notice. I then banged the side of the cart and tried to get her attention, she looked up and I pointed to the broken glass to show her what happened. I then pointed at the DC I was with again. The DC working the cart got a scooper full of popcorn and dumped it on the girl I blamed it on.

I left the little area I was in with the cart and thought about the storm task. I was in a mall like area and saw a stand with lemons on it. I grabbed a lemon which turned into an orange and I ripped it open and began to eat it, or at least the juice out of it. It was juicy and had very little taste. I saw some doors going outside; it was day time and not a cloud in the sky. As I opened the doors I yelled ‘focus’ and the dream came in focus a bit more. Out on a balcony type area below me way down was a river that was in between two green mountainous areas. This balcony was way up in the sky compared to where the river was. I began to focus on clouds rolling in and it surprised me how easy the atmospherics would change. I made the clouds come in and then made them darker and darker. The clouds dropped way down almost touching the river. I had the bottom parts of the cloud very dark almost night and began to see lightning erupt from the bottom all around the river. This excited me and I began to float in the air preparing to fly into the clouds and then woke.

Journal Entry Lucid Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background:I didn't meditate, but I should. I watched show Smallville. I listened to lucid dream series. The reason why I wrote 4:12-4:50 is because I laid on my bed for that long without realizing that 40min went by. The whole time telling myself, "next thing I see is a dream". I got up for a min checked time, laid in a different position, and I dosed off. I was relatively peaceful and stress free.

ToTM: Feburary 2015 Advanced I
Lucid Dream #Unknown, day: 02/11/15, time: 4:12-4:50-5:50am" Eye of the storm":
I am at my school. A car cuts me off. I try to go in front of them by speeding. I looked at the parking lot and it is empty. I turn and it is full. I nearly hit a car. I am suspicious about it all. I parked and decided to go. A pale girl from one of my class along with one other girl and one man came inside the car. As I reversed the car. The pale girl says, "wow it looks so realistic". I responded, "what do you mean 'realistic'". It went into an awkward silence. Her smile turned into a sad frown, she started to look down at the floor. As I kept driving. I started to explain to her that I practice this thing called lucid dreaming and I look for cues like that.

That's when it clicked. This is a dream. I realized that I haven't been able to find a way out of the parking lot. I come out the car and started to walk. Another car went over a ram and landed inside the building. It is Lex Luthor and lana from Smallville. A women dressed in a general outfit walks up to us. She starts to explain the ordeal of the world. I should have been listening but I dazed off. I walked away and I see a fountain at the center of the building. It shot out water up to six feet up.

I remember I could control water(bending). I started making it do spirals and zig zags around itself. It was cool but nothing new. I started to think to myself I wanted to do something and the ToTM came to me, a storm. I see a window, and I try to go through by jumping. I got rejected and fell back down, I felt temporarily pain. I shake it off. I see a window that is open. I started to imagine the storm. First some dark clouds rushed in, then it started to spiral around itself. It looked like a mixture of a tornado and hurricane. I remembered reading somewhere that the eye of the storm is actually peaceful. I decide to go to it.


I felt hesitant to jump out a window since my normal flight is a take off not a suicide jump. I jumped anyways and my flight was weak at first. I went through the clouds. I didn't feel any rain or wind. As I got closer and closer to the eye of the storm the wind and rain started to kick in. I try my hardest to get closer and closer to the storm. I reached out to get inside the eye of the storm and the cloud was literally a solid object I could hold. I then felt a great deal of water soak my body. I felt powerless. I have a fear of waking up, so I ended up waking up . I guess that was my subconscious way of saying "F#*k your facts". I can't believe I still have fear of waking up and I end up waking up.

(Accidentally DEILD): As I lay there trying to remember the whole dream, I end up in a dream again. I am lucid and I realized i am clark kent from Smallville. I hear a voice tell me that I need to save lex. I am outside the mall or base, that I flew out of earlier. I got inside a car and went over a ramp to get inside the building. I overshot it and the car flipped. I flew out of it. I then continued to fly until it went into a 3rd person perspective. I couldn't fly or control character. When I landed, it went back to 1st person perspective. I see cop cars surrounding me. I hit the floor with my foot and a shockwave tore up the floor and some of the cop cars exploded. The dream went back into 3rd perspective and in slow motion. I see a giant purple and green frog pop. He had a humaniod body. He started to destroy cars around us. He tells me he will watch over me. I realized I am getting way to carried away, and decided to wake up.

I was initially in the outsides of some kind of a school and there were people dressed for Carnival or with clothes from the 50s, with big yellow dresses. It was late afternoon, since the sunlight was almost orange. Then I left to the parking lot. There was a friend of mine at his car, Tiago P. He told me that I looked a lot better now and asked me if I would help him at something (fixing a road, or a computer, I don't remember). I accepted and we entered the car and left. He asked me for how long I could help him and I said for a couple of hours, he replied "until 21:00?" and I said that I couldn't that long. Then he went full throttle and I screamed to him to drive slower. Then we were at a gas stop. But I was with my father now instead of Tiago. I entered the shop to pay for the gas. The shop was very blue-ish and had a lot of people in such a small room. A woman standing behind the line made a comment about pokemon and the rest started talking about it and the dream ended.

I'm in an odd, dim, communal hotel room. It's all brown stone, with two or three steps up to the door. I don't remember what, but something causes me to run quickly out wearing a jacket but no pants, leaving behind my backpack filled with all of my stuff. Well, I tried to be quick, but people kept coming in while I wanted to go out. When I finally did get out, a Japanese girl said something to me (in japanese), and I responded without words. She asked me if I could speak Japanese (in japanese), and I pointed at my ear and did a thumbs-up, then pointed at my mouth and did a thumbs-down. I leave them go looking for something frantically, coming out of the stone, outside-looking hall into the interior of an airport, and I tie my jacket around my waist to make my lack of pants a little less noticeable.

Eventually, I accidentally run right into some kind of restricted area, and the whole airport goes on alert, thinking some dangerous person has broken in. An airport employee finds me, and takes me to the window and tells me about why the airport needed such high security. She begins explaining as my view takes an aerial view, as if I'm watching a documentary. She tells me about all the yellow flowers in the field outside the airport. They are from a place in Europe, and they can be used to make some powerful opioids (they're not poppies, though). She tells me that a specific dangerous criminal wants to steal them and use them to make drugs and sell them. She says the reason they brought these flowers to the airport despite the risks is because they are endangered. There is a large abandoned building in the style of the airport that is out by the field, and she says that if this dangerous criminal comes, he'd hide out there. Unexplained, I am now in the building. I wait with tension to see the criminal who I feel like I know will come into view any second, and I'm waiting to report it to the lady who found me, who is still watching from the airport window, but no one comes.

Later, I'm coming into the airport in the early morning. Many people are streaming through the doors, and for some reason, I find my cat just inside the entrance. He's in distress, and I have to catch him and hold onto him tight as he squirms and bites me. I think people are looking at me like I'm doing something wrong to this poor stray cat, and it stresses me that people are thinking that, when in reality I'm doing what's best for my own cat. I take him to a round information desk farther into the airport but still in the entrance, situated in the middle of the clean white room, with people flowing past on either side. I explain my cat, the situation with my pants and my backpack, and yesterday's escapades with accidentally ending up in a restricted section. I don't remember what happens after that.

At some other point, possibly before all of this, I'm at a very large outside gathering. A large number of people are sitting on folding metal chairs, all facing a stage, where a single person is talking. I need to find certain books, and whenever I get close to them, something happens. I don't remember what. I'm not sure if I really knew exactly in the dream, though that wasn't a concern of mine then. The books would either disappear, or something would appear in a book that I had, or something like that. Because they would sometimes disappear, people would usually be resistant with letting me see their book, but I needed to for some reason. Everyone had a single book. I was sneaking around the very back row, trying to sneakily get near people's books behind their backs. It didn't always work all that well. Some people caught me and were pretty miffed. Whatever I was doing, I was having a hard time, and never finished. Sometimes I would find a book and nothing would happen, and it was stressful. Was something not working? Was it not a book I needed? Did I already use that one?

Some other things are at the edges of my mind, but I can't really remember them. Something about superheroes maybe? I watched a lot of different cartoons yesterday, so it might have something to do with them. Hopefully I will come back and edit when(if) I remember.

On my second attempt with WILD i succeeded again, this time in a OBE fashion in which i felt my body becoming more and more numb and i just had to imagine some movement until it felt real. I think i am going too fast here, and i probably should allow the dreamscape to form first. Instead i force my mind to put me in a bedroom, with this approach.

The dream was not interrresting, and it was short again, probably as a result of overlap of input between waking and dream bodies, that's why i think i am going too fast

Anyway, i keep excited about my WILD mindset, and it's progress. So let's see if can keep my good run. And i really hope this time i will master natural DEILD (wo alarm) drop by drop.

First Fragment
I recall being with a group of people traveling along some area. There was, however, another person who joined us -- someone that I wasn't particularly fond of for one reason or another. All I really remember is going to great lengths to avoid them.

First dream

I was in my room. I was coding something in C++, and playing some roguelike games during the work of compiler.

Second dream

I was an old man. I had troubles with heart, and my family drove me to hospital. A few days later they have come to visit me. We were talking about my time in hospital. Apparently I had irritating room mates. They were also old. A nurse was coming through the room, and I quickly hidden something behind my back. It was a hip-flask. The room mates were laughing from me. Next day I was taken to another room. I got out of my bed in search of the toilet. It was evening by then. The hospital was dimly lit and corridors were buzzing with activity albeit the late hour. I looked at the labels showing the way, but couldn't find the toilet.

Morning of February 14, 2015. Saturday.



I am in a mostly featureless outdoor area except that I think there is a wooden wall behind me (that does seem to be part of a building). It is seemingly early afternoon. I had supposedly volunteered to have an apple shot atop my head by Wilma Tell. She has reddish hair and is facing me from perhaps about fifteen feet away. Apparently, there is an audience off to my right (on bleachers, possibly four-tiered as that is what came to mind later), though I cannot directly see them (as if they are implied to be invisible, since I “know” they are present).

I become more aware and cannot imagine why I would have volunteered to do this. (There is no recall of any backstory or what led up to this.) I am distracted by noticing half-eaten apples on the ground. (I do not seem to actually feel an apple atop my head.)

I see that Wilma is ready to fire an arrow at me. Before she is able to, I reach down and pick up various apples (including half-eaten ones) and throw them at her, causing her to lower and drop her bow. The unseen audience starts laughing and applauding. One apple I throw somehow goes vertically higher than any other. It seems to become “stuck” in midair almost so high as to be indiscernible. This distracts me and I wake with a soft hypnopompic back spasm.

This dream is proof that the nature of non-lucid dream control (that is, the knowledge of altering the dynamics of the dream without even remembering what a dream is, including forms of reinduction) can sometimes alter the biologically premonitory hypnopompic mechanism (of which the waking symbolism is also always directory premonitory of in various ways, though typically in an incidental form unrelated to the conscious self identity in real life), though this was usually not the case when I was a boy when there was no time to focus upon it (other than in dreams such as “The Staged Bull” from 1971, with the potential back spasm trigger of the bull’s horn willfully avoided by initiating my own waking).

Although the arrow was supposedly aimed at the apple atop my head, it has a direct connection with the hypnopompic back spasm event (which ranges from very soft and nearly indiscernible to intense enough to make my whole body jump, which seems directly related to how much physical activity I was involved in during the previous day though is also directly related to the level of consciousness I am in), which has often been associated with bird beaks in childhood dreams that triggered it (for example, “The Buzzard’s Beak” from 1969). Other dreams have included a dog’s hard nose (being pushed into the small of my back) terminating my state of apex lucidity in 1970.

Although dreams like “Devil Dog” (1972) showed evidence that physically premonitory hypnopompia can sometimes be shifted (though not willfully or intentionally in every case), it usually cannot be (such as in “A knife into my back in a hospital hall” from 1989).

Is it any wonder why my Olympic barbell is my preferred weapon of choice to jab the preconscious back when I am (subliminally) annoyed about the waking transition.

---

Non-Lucid
Actual Waking
False Awakening
Lucid
The dream setting is uninteresting, I'm facing the wall and I see the edge of the pillow and the face of the mattress. There's a vague sense of unreality that makes me think I'm dreaming, to test it I press my hand flat against the mattress and push. My palm breaks the surface like it is a pool of water and I reach down past the mattress into a strange place that is infinitely black.
Something drives me to a lighter sleep, it feels like waking but isn't. My boyfriend comes into the room and lays behind me, it makes me uncomfortable but I can't tell him to stop. He says something about going to the store and gets up. I can hear his keys jangling.
I descend once more, for a moment I'm confused about whether or not I'm awake. I press my hand down into the mattress, past it into the dark. My knuckles brush against a metal bar, then I feel a hand grip mine. At first I am startled and frightened, and I rip my hand free. The force of my extraction jars me almost unto waking.
I have some awareness that I'm not yet awake, I see the same view of my wall, the edge of the pillow and the face of the mattress. My mind sinks a fraction and I thrust my hand into the mattress. I immediately feel a small hand (about the size of my own) grip mine. It slips away so I reach further, this time with both arms clear up to my shoulders. My left cheek and ear descend as well, once my ear clears the mattress I can hear a woman screaming. Sometimes wordlessly, other times for help. I can't speak but I try to pacify her, all the same. This works for about two seconds. I have one of her wrists, I can make the shape of her arm. There is a very dim source of light nearby. I catch a glimpse of her face...and then she recognizes me.
"YOU!" She yells, it's accusatory and terrified, threaded with uncertainty for my motive. She wrenches herself from my grasp and, heart hammering, I retreat. I can't give up though. What kind of person would I be if I just left her there, all alone in the dark?
So, once more, I reach down. My knuckles brush the metal bar then her wrist. Her wild struggling and screams echo hollowly in the cavernous maw. I rear back, pulling her out through the mattress and collapsing backward, pulling with all my strength.
Honestly I was expecting to find Saja but she...is entirely different, if familiar. She is tiny, like Saja. Bird-boned with a pointed chin and high cheeks under ice blue eyes. She has light red-brown hair to her shoulders. I notice that she is naked, but while obviously feminine, her body could have belonged to a mannequin for all the details I didn't assign her form, and for all the notice I take of said nakedness. She's trying to catch her breath, laying there gasping. She seems...disgusted with me, but I don't know why. I glance away and then back at her, and she's suddenly gone.
Then I realize she's fused into my back, and her arms are hanging under mine. EEEEEEEEEE....WHYYYY?
I decide it's time to leave!
I take off down the hallway and out into the yard. (I used a door!) I reach up to grab the top of the brick privacy wall and climb up. While I'm doing it I wonder why I didn't use the gate, and decide that it's easier to stay lucid if I do things a different way. I get distracted by my (the woman's) extra arms flailing around....

There's a moment of vertigo and I wake briefly, this time for real, though I'm confused because my view is...the wall, the edge of my pillow and the face of the mattress.

When I fall back asleep, I am still in my room, the woman lays nearby. I remember my initial purpose when laying down for a nap. I wanted to get answers out of Liam, I wanted to try to find him to ask about the whole wanting me to die thing. So I repeat his name in my mind, a low mantra, and extend my right arm down into the darkness. I don't feel hands this time, much to my disappointment, but a scene lays itself out for me. It's a warehouse with two large, dim, circular light fixtures. They reveal a pool table and a vaguely familiar man with chin length dirty-blond hair. He wears a loose white shirt and one of the harnesses from Maze Runner. I see their story clearly, that I was once friends with them. The man I see is a serial killer ((*annoyed sigh*)), who at this point is wearing a very convincing person suit. The woman believes they are good friends, but this is before he betrays her and confines her forever to the Dark. He turns his eyes very slowly up to meet mine, jarring me to a lighter level of sleep. You know, this isn't the only time I've gone looking for Liam and found a serial killer instead. What exactly are you trying to say, subconscious?

Once more I find myself in my room, laying in bed. The woman is not here anymore, as far as I can tell she is no longer fused to my back. I rush down the hallway, out the front door and into the patio. I use the gate this time, because it's standing open, to get out to the driveway. The wind blows my hair across my eyes, annoying me, but I'm worried if I try to brush it back, the motion will wake me up. So I turn my face against the wind and let the next gust do it for me. The dream starts to break apart and I stop walking, hoping it will stabilize. That only makes it worse.
Keep moving,my subconscious whispers, it'll force your brain to keep creating images., I take my own advice and continue to the end of the driveway. I feel flush with pleasure when everything settles back into place. I want to see how far I can get and how different this is from reality, before I wake up. I get to the end of the cul-de-sac and there's an unsightly gap between the houses, the lawn there is all churned mud, and beyond that the landscape drops down. I can see a great city reaching out across the horizon, as far as I can see. But before that is a messy highway. Hmm.
I trip in the mud.
My leg jerks violently, interrupting the dream. I wake briefly.
Oops.
When I slip back under, I run outside and this time decide to go left. The street is much more interesting in this direction. I actually think I've visited this in a lucid before. The wind presses my glasses to my face...wait, I haven't worn glasses in years. It feels like when I use to fall asleep with them on. But I'm dreaming, I don't need glasses. I try not to think about it too hard, because that's what usually trips up my lucid commands. I instead blink slowly, and think about not needing them and POOF. They're gone. I grin, taking in the wide street, lined with trees. The next cross street is also wide, but there are white and red bricks in 3 ft walls at the edge of the sidewalk. I see a man riding either a golf-cart or a bicycle, it's hard to tell. He's an older gentleman, wearing mostly white, with a white beret and a plaid undershirt. He uh...notices that I'm lucid and grins. He then makes a show of reaching into his pocket and pulling out a coin. He throws it at me and I raise my hand to catch it (even though he's pretty far away) but the wind makes it go wild. I see it whip past and I see it, willing it into my hand. I feel the sharp slap of the coin against my palm and hold it up in triumph. He throws his head back and laughs, then gives me a thumbs up and a finger-gun, buddy-Christ-style.
The interaction makes me feel light, happy, and unspeakably amused.
I turn to continue exploring the street, but only make it a few more yards before waking.