Recent DJ Posts

LUCID
*It seemed the dream started lucid. The vividness and clarity of the environment was akin to waking reality. Lately the first thing I always do when becoming lucid is to be aware of my dream stability. I keep myself calm and fully engaged in a composed fashion. After I feel anchored with in the dream and I can let my mind go from the topic to anything I want to accomplish.

I proceeded walking through this construction site. Looking at the detail of the piled dirt was amazing all in it self. Then all most instantly it was day light. I was in a small neighborhood and decided to explore a house. The first house I approached seemed creepy so I thought I shouldn't go in it. The next house was absolutly beautiful, kind of latin style house painted orange.

This girl I know but not really that well answered the door. I was very surprise to see this girl appear in my dream. She said a lot to me which at this point I don't remember. I observed the art work in her house for a while.

Somewhere in South Asia some centuries ago where I'm visibly a foreigner, I'm leaving the docks after making some arrangements for my departure. Thinking about how to dispose of the belongings that I don't want to bring with me, I've just offered to give some rare type of food to the man who's walking with me, a human who works for me. He's shocked - he completely refuses. It's important that he and I don't share meals, and apparently this is close enough to count. I apologize, but point out to him that we've shared more than that. He asks me not to talk about this in public.

Talking about differing customs as we walk, we get onto the subject of my own homeland. I describe it as very far to the north, very isolated from the rest of the world, not a place he's likely to have heard of. I'm being deliberately evasive, obscuring how long ago it was that I left, among other things. I have a mental image of a place that's always covered in snow, and a need to retreat.

Thinking of my people causes me to mentally tune in to two of them who are relatively nearby, a man and a woman who I think of as something like a brother and sister to me. Her, I keep in close contact with through letters on a regular basis. Mentally brushing against her now feels sort of like a friendly wave from a distance. Him, on the other hand - last I heard from him, he'd been doing his best to ignore my existence entirely. By accidentally tuning in to him now, I'm surprised to find he was already aware of my presence in this region and has secretly been keeping tabs on me. I'm amused, particularly since he's now pretending not to notice this mental contact.

I get lost in thought for a bit about connections and different eras, and the scene changes. I'm in Europe, speaking Spanish with a woman in the 1700s or so - I think of her as being in a sort of religious seclusion, though my speaking with her now isn't a problem. She's telling me how much she enjoyed the piece Dieter published recently about winemaking techniques, and I tell her I'll pass that along. The observer side of me considers whether or not this short scene is something to bother recording for when I wake up.

In my IRL home, a demon's joined me in the shower. She's in the form of a beautiful naked woman and she's talking to me like we're old friends, but the scene has the feel of a nightmare. She's talking about working together in a way that I'd probably be interested in discussing under other circumstances. But with that nightmare feel, I'm only thinking about avoiding being controlled by others.

I give her the fuck-off-out-of-my-dream variety of exorcism. This doesn't work; if anything, the feel of a nightmare intensifies with the sense of a contest of wills. She's still trying to convince me to come work with her.

Second try: I take a look at the demon's name. It begins and ends with A, so I cover up the middle portion, rewrite it as Athena, and chant an invocation, intending to remove the nightmare by transforming the demon into a goddess. Her features shift, but then shift back. We go back and forth a little bit, but eventually I give up on this method too. She's stopped trying to convince me to come work with her and is now just enjoying this contest for its own sake.

Being as we're in the shower, I take a look at the soap and think of cleansing/purification methods of exorcism. Worth a shot. I start washing her, starting at the top and working my way down. She's intrigued - she clearly doesn't consider this a threat, and the contact is pleasant and similar enough to sexual that she considers this a form of me giving in to her. I'm curious myself whether this scene will end up following her sexual expectations or my cleansing intention. When I kneel down before her, I kiss her just below her navel, and she makes it clear how she expects this to play out from there; but I just move on to washing her legs. When I've finished her second foot, kissing the top of it before putting it down, the sense of nightmare is completely gone. I'm able to cause the scene to transition, continuing with a series of IRL-based scenes.

I'm behind again. I do have a couple pages of notes by my bed that I need to get printed up. But today I will start with last night's dreams.

Dream 1:

I don't remember how this started. I know that the point where I start remembering was well into the dream.

I looked out the back door into a backyard. There were several dogs out there, but one was meaner looking. And, of course, that was the one that charged me. I was able to knock it to the floor and step on its neck and hold it still so it couldn't attack me. At some point the dog turned into my friend Robert. I told him not to change into the dog again and attack me because I would step on his neck again.


Dream 2:

I was standing outside and heard somthing in the sky. I looked up and saw a flying white truck. It was only a few hundred feet up. I could tell that the engine was having trouble. I could see the guy inside trying to fix the problem. Then to my horror, I saw the truck burst into a small explosion start to crash land. It was close to so many houses. But the driver was still alive and able to crash into the street missing the houses. It skidded up into the driveway of the house on the corner. At that moment dozens of people came running out of their houses to see if they could help the driver.

I looked over and saw Jeff, I said, "Hurry--you're an EMT!" I then realized that it wasn't the Jeff I thought. This was a different Jeff. This one had darker skin and I knew he was a medical doctor. I corrected myself and said something like "You can help him. You're a doctor!"

And that's all I remember.

I was at Chuckie cheese playing a few games with my nephew and other children. When I finished using all my tokens i started thinking about what cheap toy i should get and if i should just give it to my nephew. As i was walking something happened that took the dream in a different direction but i forgot what. The next thing i remember happening is that i ended up in my house.

Inside my house i was lucid and started to call Dawn. A dream character came but he did not look like Dawn. After talking to him for a bit he started to repeat what he was saying like a broken record. When he stopped being like a broken record he told me something about stepping to the side of the world so i couldn't be seen. I wanted to get away from this dc so i ran to my parents bedroom, pretended there was a portal in the wall behind me and fell back. I started to fall down a yellow colored void.

I started thinking about how i wanted Jade's dream characters in my dream now and slowly random characters began to appear in the void. One of them pulled me through a small rectangular opening and i was now in a forest like setting.But it looked like the scenery was walls with vines and other stuff painted on them. As I was walking i started calling for Manei. A girl came and yet again she didn't look like Manei but i just decided to go with it.

"Manei, how can sense when there is someone else around?" I asked her. " You will know when their there." she replied back. As we were walking around i heard a voice in the distance. I started to interrupt the person who was talking to someone else. Than went towards it. I found a guy playing with little toys and a truck on the ground. He didn't look like Jade but reminded me of how Jade likes Lego. "Are you playing with action figures?" I asked the guy. But he did not respond to me and just kept playing and moving them around.

The girl i was with came back after i started calling for Manei again.She was with someone else this time and seemed like she was getting distracted by the other person. I started shouting hey and for her to remember that i was present. She than started walking with me. I think there was a spoon present and she said "We need to boil a full green apple." I'm not sure what the apple was for but i just kept following her. We ran into a bit of trouble though.

A little blonde girl was out to get me. I kept screaming for help. After running for a bit we arrived at the stairs of my house. I was holding onto the girl that came after i called for Manei and the little girl was holding onto me. Somehow the dream shifted after that and my dad was now with the little blonde girl in the kitchen telling her that killing me was unacceptable and that she wasn't even allowed to hold a gun.I left the house and ran up the hill. There were stores to the side that wasn't suppose to be there.I was thinking about going inside but woke up.

Note to self: " Stop running from little girls!!! (/-w-")

It was in a big city. My father was an owner of a big corporation, where I was office worker. It was during time of some kind of holliday. My father was preparing for a big party, and I told him that I want to stay at work. I felt that there was a conflict between both of us. We wanted to enter a car. It was a miniature version of jeep. There were already four persons inside, and we had to somehow fit inside. In the end there were nine persons. My aunt was hurt, and she had nails stuck inside her toes. We were driving towards home through the forest.

#410 - DEILD - 4:08AM

WBTB @ 3AM. Caffeine from coffee.

I wake slightly surprised that I can recall no dreams. I lay still and focus my attention a few inches from the crown of my head. Vibrations quickly start and it's not long until I feel my dream body float up from my physical body. There is a moment where I can feel both simultaneously and this causes an in-and-out-feel or 'bouncing' effect of my dream body. I shift my focus to walking and make my way to the living room. I am blind, but I feel like I just have my eyes close so I slowly and cautiously open them, worried that I will open my physical eyes and wake up. Luckily, this clears up the dream with no other effect. As I walk to the front door, I have a strange feeling like I am half crouched or hunched over and my eyes feel like they are trying to roll into the back of my head. I correct this by straightening up and trying to look more downward.

Outside, I see a full moon and the yard is only lit by it's dim light. There's are a few scattered stars and I recall one of my goals to meditate on one with the intention of travel. As I look up my eyes go out of focus and the feeling of them rolling into the back of my head returns. Then, there is some visual distortion like my physical eyes have opened slightly. I make a poor attempt to correct this not really knowing how and I wake slightly again.

I DEILD the same way as before, but this time when I reach the living room I enter a true void. Usually I have some phsycial sensation during these 'void' experiences, but this time I feel truely cut off from everything; no sight, no sound, no touch. I don't even feel like I have a body. Instead of fighting against it, I decide to relax and enjoy whatever I am given. I then regain some sensational and feel as if I am slowly floating around a space. I then begin to roll and I see a light on each rotation through closed eye lids. I had no sense of time and wondered if there was light coming from my bedroom window. Maybe it's later in the morning. I begin to wonder if I am going to roll on top of my wife. I think about this and decide to have dream sex with her. I kiss her, but the feeling quickly slips away.

I am fooled momentarily by a false awakening. I open my eyes and find that I have in fact rolled on top of my wife except I have my butt in her face. I feel embarrassed and we both laugh. I quickly get back on my side of the bed and try to focus again to DEILD. I have a vivid image of my wife laughing, but her teeth look very brown and decayed like some meth-head's.



I am repulsed by this, but quickly realize this is a dream. I say to myself, "You are still asleep!" I know this is true, but I feel as if I still need to continue with the DEILD. The same as before happens, but this time I enter into a vivid dream (I was already there).

There is a mirror on covering one whole wall in the bedroom and I hear a song from an acoustic guitar. The music sound generic and unoriginal yet familiar. My reflection has a giant wrench in his hands and is singing into it while bobbing up and down.

Like this guy.



I feel disconnected from it for a second, but quickly we merge as I sing. I have that awkward moment where I am not sure if I am singing in my sleep or not, but I do my best to ignore it. The lyrics just come to me without much thought, "I've got some issues. Yeah some issues. I've got some issues. Yes I do." Then I use the wrench to play guitar with then into my crotch as I use it to do some pelvic thrusts. I turn to the mirror on my wife's closet door and dance a little in front of that. I go out of the room and the song changes, "I'm gonna make great love...great love...yeah great great love. I've got some issues yeah some issues but I'm gonna make great great great love." I recall another goal that involves a dub-step song to try to induce a Star Wars battle. I sing loudly, "Destroy them with lasers!" Unfortunately, the music doesn't change. I say out loud, "Oh ok. I guess we're gonna keep going with this then." I start to sing some more, but the dream quickly fades and I wake up.

I was at my step mom's house, and I was in the kitchen. There were two gates, minecraft style ofc. And in between each third of the kitchen there was a different obstacle. In the first third there was a sign and a red glowing line like redstone being activated. The glowing line was attached to an open furnace that was on fire, and then a hound leaped out of it (on fire) and ran across the line as, I dunno, a test? The sign read, "This is a hellhound". I proceeded to the next gate, there was another sign, it read "Do you trust me?", there was another furnace in the second section of the gate, I could take my chances and run into the section hoping that there wasn't going to be a doge leaping out of the furnace to eat my face off. Or I could just simply climb onto the counter and skip the gated area, heading over to the last section instead, and that's what I did. I crawled along the counter to the end of the obstacle, and I could now see into the furnace. There were two four by fours laying inside the furnace, they were on fire, but there was no doge that I could see. I have no clue why I did this next thing, but I opened up some sort of chat box and typed into it "/give grenade 1" and I had a frag grenade in my hands, at the same time my biological mom and my biological grandma walked into the house and said "Hi honey", I proceeded to throw the grenade into the furnace and the dream ended there...

Weird.

So it wasn't a nightmare in the literal sense.

I was in College, and we were auditioning for the musical but I dont know what it was. There were loads of us and we had to line up at the front of the stage (Which was the stage in high school) and Freya my dance teacher was doing the auditioning but there were loads of people I knew in the audience from the panto I just did as well as some of my college teachers like Sarah. We were the firstgroup to go but I realised I hadn't brought a costume or anything decent to wear as I was wearing this tight pink dress that barely covered my knickers and I was going to sing I Caint Say No from Oklahoma as I always do but I knew I couldnt in this dress so I was stressing out and delaying going first as I was trying to work out a solution or at least find some black shorts. We werent allowed to leave the wings but then one of the Dance Captains from Disney (the old blonde one) sneakily gave me her jacket and pointed in the pocket and winked at me. So I grabbed it and ran into the toilet to what I had hoped would be shorts but they were actually really long grey socks made out of tights material. I knew that I couldnt go on stage wearing this pink dress as it was just so inappropriate but I couldn't avoid it forever and people going before me were incredible, Olivia Oakes was there singing something from a chorus line and she and about 10 other people were wearing red sleeveless jackets tap shoes and a cane as she had got them all to back up her , she was a really good singer actually. Other girls were wearing leotards and tights and other professional dance/performance wear.
I saw in the toilets another group of costumes so was debating whether or not to steal one, I also had a blue dress thing so was thinking about wearing that with the grey tights but then that wouldnt have fitted with my song so I would have needed to change the song, but the only songs that would go with that would be passive ones like I Could Have Danced all Night which other people werent doing if that makes sense, it wouldnt have been as impressive.

I think this just highlights my indecisiveness when it comes to what to wear to auditions!

Just some small fractions about hanging out with friends.

A real "fist-pumping" ("Yes!") night, finally.

earlier:

+ restaurant: piles of ravioli, pop a frozen meatball into my mouth, spit it out as it thaws

+ amnesia girlfriend letter, we can start anew, move away

In a private house. My girlfriend's mother is warning me that my letter to my (ex girlfriend?) may have been discovered by my current girlfriend, who may want to break up with me over it. I'm trying to decide if I should tell the truth or make something up. In the end I decide to tell the truth. That's good because my girlfriend in fact found the letter. We sit on the couch to discuss it, her friend is with us. At one point I see one of their faces and make note of her pale blue eyes.

I say that I have amnesia, I honestly can't remember anything that happened before (trigger!), and I think this is great for us because we can now have a fresh start. The GF's friend says "You guys can have a fresh start", and I say "exactly!". I say "we can move away from here [it's expensive to live where we do," but then I think I hate moving, I don't want to pack all this stuff up in to damn boxes. "Maybe to Europe" (no, too expensive) "or Asia somewhere."

+ chinese restaurant counter: order rice several times, cancel them all, then they all arrive, chef offers sparzha-like thing on chopsticks, says "Jung Jie!"

I'm sitting at a counter at a Chinese restaurant (with a two-level shelf in front of me like in a sushi restaurant) in front of the open kitchen. I'm ordering rice and fried rice over and over again using an automated ordering system, and keep canceling the orders, something wasn't right. Then every single rice dish I ordered arrives, about 3-4 little round stainless trays of white rice, and a larger tray of brownish fried rice. Oops, looks like I got all those orders. Then the chef stands in front of me behind the counter and holds out a bite of some wrinkly looking thing like sparzha with chopsticks:



and he says "Jung Jie!" which I think means "eat this!"

+ shoot-out with seizure-faking, freeloading partner who wants to steal my wealth, both guns unloaded, the team gets back together and (runs along rooftops?)

I'm walking through my house, the rooms are full of soft furniture. I find my partner (in business? gang?) sitting in the bathroom, he is unresponsive. He is shaking like he is having a seizure. Foamy spit is dripping down him and covering his hands. I leave him. I then return, I'm angry that he's faking seizures, I'm sure he wants to steal my property, he's living like a freeloader now. I encounter him again, this time his whole (basically naked) body flops onto the ground and he has more "seizures", his body looks extraordinarily lean and gaunt.

We simultaneously present pistols and point them at each other, and pull the trigger at the same time, neither gun fires. We do this a few more times(?).

Outdoors, our gangs/teams are getting back together, I notice some of them are running along the edges of the rooftops of the buildings around us.

+(f) I'm putting my prized bicycle pump into the shopping cart, "it's a great pump," I hope I get it back

+ travel past street of childhood home, point it out to friends, continue through neighborhood becoming increasingly bizarre (property borders extended into streets), the streets become slick steep colored stone ("You can't even ride a bicycles on that!" I exclaim), the environment becomes psychedelic, acid-trippy shapes and colors, fairy-tale surroundings in wacky colors, mushroom statue, scarab temple, explode the scarab priest with my power. I'm astounded at the environment. [This is why I recall dreams, wow.]

I'm walking up F from the LH side (with the bicycle pump group?) and we pass HC on the left, I recognize it and look back to the left and point out my childhood home to the group. The house seems to be a bit like a castle with turrets, etc. We continue walking forwards and down the other side of F towards A. I'm observing the houses on the left as we walk forwards. It's like their property lines were extended. Reaching the corner of F and A, the house on the corner's property line has extended will in to the street and they have built up into this extended area, I think they somehow extended their property in to the street, the houses all look modified. I continue forwards, then look to the left down A street, and notice that it's too narrow now for cars to drive on it, it's just barely wider than a foot path now, and is cobbled in large chunks of jagged stone.

Walking farther down F towards the park beyond A, the houses and landscape are completely not like reality now, the land has become steeply rolling hills, there are houses before me and behind me, fences along the side. The colors have become dark but intense: purples, browns, greens, very psychedelic. Ahead of me is a mushroom statue/fountain, about 4 feet high. I'm amazed at this landscape. I notice the "road" F is now a path on my right, it is paved in slick strips of stone and is bumpy, I exclaim "you can't even ride a bike on that!"

Off to the left I notice a "temple" and enter. Life-sized scarab beetles are worshipping here. I extend my hand towards the priest scarab and will my power into its body so that it will inflate and then explode.

mid-late:

+ observing house down the hill below childhood home backyard which I can fully see into: pet escaped/not fed, woman with mascara

I'm in my childhood home's back lawn, looking farther down the hill to then next house which is 20 or so feet below the lawn, I can see inside and see the people and furnishings. A mother and a child are there, and a pet cage, did the child forget to close/feed the animal? The mother walks around and I catch a glimpse of her face, dark hair with a lot of mascara, I think I've seen her before, (she looks at me briefly?)

+ flight full at airport counter, "But I'm on a business trip!", agent tries to modify ticket so I can get on

I'm at an airport departure gate, I'm looking for the place where we enter the plane, it's beyond the airport counter so I can't just walk there I must go in the line. There's a long line of people standing to talk to an attendant, I go up to another attendant to find out if I need to stand in that longer line. I get out my boarding passes which are the standard rectangular "punch card" paper, and fumble for them to give them, the attendant looks at them and notes they are marked "GC?" (gate clogged?") she says that this means the airplane is overbooked. "But I'm on a business trip!" I say I can't be delayed. She starts talking about how they need to re-issue my tickets for another date (earlier?) so that I can then get on the plane. She says she has to call one guy but he plays by the rules (so it won't work?)

late:

+ (lucid #98) planning some "personal activities," door's open, close door at top of stairs, childhood home, there is no door there, get lucid, downstairs, enjoy the sights, affirm body in bed/waking world/dream-fantasy, take off blurring glasses, go to next room, super bright ultra HD, counter of clerks, tell the girls to come to me, all ignore me, I go back and "firmly encourage" one to engage, feels great, wake up in a few seconds

I'm in a bedroom kneeling before a bed, I'm thinking of performing some "personal activities," I think this is a great position why didn't I think of this before? I'm thinking about some "toys" which may be useful and think of some activities. I notice the door to the room is open, not good, better go close it. I step out into the hallway and recognize I left my sister's bedroom into the upstairs hallway of my childhood home. I reach forwards and close the door at the top of the stairs, I think about punching the lock, there's nobody in the hallway right now. I start to head back to the room and stop and look at that door. There is no such door in this house. The door looks sort of faint and transparent. I suspect a dream and do a nose plug and am now lucid. I head directly down the stairs.

I note that there is a white couch at the bottom of the stairs (false). As I turn towards the left into the living room I catch glimpse of a bright light in the dining room. I walk into the living room and do the Sageous memory-activating affirmation: "I realize my physical body is out there in the waking world asleep in bed and this entire experience is a fantasy taking place inside my mind." I turn around and for a second think maybe too quickly, but things are stable. I think "careful, don't want to think too much of the sleeping body" but the dream is stable. I do notice that vision has become blurred so I reach of and take off the "blurring goggles/glasses" and vision fully returns. I walk a bit back towards the stairs and think about TOTM, but I can't remember any tasks and so I drop it.

I move into the dining room and it is very very bright there, I see a large chandelier with many taper-shaped bulbs. The place now is a large bright room with people in it behind a counter. I note that the faces and objects are ultra-HD. I'm looking at the people behind the counter and notice a few cute girls. I mention for one to come out, but the people just sort of keep shuffling back and forth and ignore me with occasional glances my way.

I get annoyed and decide to go to them, I duck under the counter and go behind it, and walk up to a DC, grab its head and give it a command to perform an action, which it does begin, it feels great for a few seconds, and then the dream fades.

Two nights ago: generally frag-a-licious mode, still

2015-02-10

early:
+(f) in a haunted house, all doors lead to ghosts, some are worse than others

+(f) the guys send me the latest version of the invention we're working on: sort of a disc with yin/yang decoration plates on top

+(f) walking in city streets, lift my arm and start to fly diagonally up at the street light, think about asking people on the ground to help me go higher

later:

+ on the highway, directions, descending stairs ducking under string in the T's rec room, younger girls and older guys are there, racey (NSFW) game, pics on SD card, move to computer to copy them.

+(f) sitting at the computer with a girl, sense an opportunity and touch her leg a bit, concerned people will see

+(f) big giant guy floating down the river on his back, prominent erection

+(f) taking a photograph of a group

+(f-d) on the border between fragment and dream) there's a lot of garbage under the table, giant amber gem, turns out to be just a paperweight

+(f) choosing a place to place my sleeping bag

+(f) thinking of lying down to sleep in a doorstep, it looks too small

+(f-d) the guys recorded their movie digitally and converted it to niche-theater formats and made a lot of money this way, I see the movie scenes playing on the screen, two different formats (one with wire-frame overlays)

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Last night:
2015-02-11

+ baseball: I catch a fly ball that bounced into the stands, second ball, third flies over my head

I'm just arriving to the beginning of a (pro) baseball game, the announcer at that moment says "and it's a hit!" I'm located in far left field near the foul line, the ball lands near the back fence in front of me, the umpire rules it fair, and the ball bounces out of the field right at me, I try to catch it, I do catch it, I wonder if the player on the field will demand it back. I notice it is very frayed and has two large chunks taken out of it. I turn away from the field so I won't have to give it back. Everyone will be amazed that I have <some player>'s first hit of the game! I cat a second ball, now I have two! The third ball flies over my head and into a group of people across the street.

+(f-d) bus (girl)

I'm sitting in the back of a bus. Not clear where we're going, people getting on/off? A girl comes to exit the bus standing right by me, I look up and admire her bust, then notice I can catch a glimpse of panties because her right leg is lifted up and I can see almost all the way down, then the view closes and she's wearing jeans.

+(f) butt (girl)

I'm in a crowded area (at work?). I notice a girl. I walk forwards, look to the left and see her facing away from me, she is impossibly slender (her whole body is like 1 foot wide at the most) and she's wearing short shorts, I admire her well-shaped butt.

+ outdoor stairs, creepy guy looking at me, crowded bookstore (closed for restocking break will last for 30 minutes)

In a large open sloping down area (like amphitheater [DS]), I notice a blonde haired man looking at me. At another moment I notice him again, he's still looking at me, and I think this is creepy. I walk down the stairs and enter a small store, it's a bookstore, it's very crowded there's almost nowhere to walk because boxes of books are everywhere on the floor. The store is closing, they are going to be restocking for a while, I ask how long the guys answers 30 minutes, that's too long for me so I turn around and walk out. I think that perhaps a colleague from a job long ago is there?

+ (semi-lucid) in parent's bedroom, want to get out fly

I'm standing in my parent's bedroom, I want to get out to their balcony and fly. Even though "I'm awake" I remember there's always a chance that if I try to fly it might turn out to be a dream and I would be able to fly [this thought occurs a lot, DS!]. The way to the door to the balcony is blocked. The door is a bit to the right, it must be there. I can see outside and it seems that the balcony is completely covered with drying racks where clothes are hanging. I can't get there from where I'm standing, I notice that there is a pathway in between two separate beds probably made for the purpose of getting to the balcony door. I go to the window facing the G's house and (someone's out there in the distance? Throwing things?) I feel like I need to close this window.

+(f) there's shooting going on outside, we should take cover

+(f) entering gym, paying at turnstile

I was in the mall and had just walked up to the Taco Bell food place. I looked at the menu for a minute or so and I realized that I couldn't find what I usually got. I noticed that some of the menu was different. Eventually I found the food that I usually get and I told the cashier, "Yeah I'll take a number 5 with steak". "Sorry we just closed" she told me. This cashier was a young girl, about my age. She was of african descent, but was very light skinned and looked more white than black. "Wow, so you're going to close up right as I take my order, I see it how it is" I teased her.
"Yea I'm really sorry about that. Here, to make it up to you, I'll give you all of the money that is inside of this cash register" she said. "Bet. You won't do it" I told her. "Yes I will!" she said. With that, she opened the cash register and took out all of the cash and gave it all to me. She gave me a few twenties, some fives and alot of ones. I realized how odd this was so it occurred to me that I needed to do a reality check. I then also realized that this chick might think I'm weird if I do it right in front of her(I now do the teeth RC) and I actually wanted to get somewhere with her( so I don't do it this time).
I pull out my wallet and stuff the money inside. "You know, you're pretty cool. Giving me free cash. You should give me your number so we can talk later" I tell her. I can't remember what she said to this, but after I told her that she came out of her work and we started chilling. We walked around the mall and she went to different stores to try on dresses and stuff. I remember that somehow things escalated quickly and we were now going out all of a sudden.
At one point, she puts on a fancy, silk white dress and white high heels. "Does this look good on me?" She asked. "You look great; it looks amazing on you" I reply. Out of no where she starts walking away in her dress. "Where are you going?" I ask as I walk beside her. No reply. "What are you doing?" I ask again. No reply. She keeps on walking as though I'm not even there. I figure she'll come back later so I just let her leave. As I stop walking besides her and turn back around, I see a rather overweight girl trying on a red dress, and there is a dike standing next to her. "How does this look?" she asks the dike. The dike didn't answer so I decided to be nice and tell her she looked good.
She thanked me. After that I started walking away back to where I came from and as I did I noticed that the girl in the red dress was now following me. I stop walking where a guy is sitting in the middle of the floor, and to my left I see some toys. Just to make her stop following me I start looking at some of the toys. Eventually the girl notices that I have noticed that she is following me, and that I am not interested, so she walks away. I then step over the guy that is just laying on the ground motionless, and I continue walking.
I walk around a corner and stop next to two guys dressed like cowboys. They look like they are in their 50s or something. I talk to them for some time about who knows what and then I leave and go home. Once I get home I go up to my room. My sister and A friend of the girl that I met at the mall is there. Her friend is a guy and he has long emo hair. We start talking about her and what happened. I look into the mirror and see that I have long hair now too. My sister starts fighting me physically.

Ritual: wtb 1am, woke 5:45am, wbtb about an hour, take supplements (piracetam, bacopa, choline, alpha-gpc, l-theanine), lay on back, doze off, turn to side, woke 8am to record dream.

DEILD: I half-wake from an unremarkable NLD and realize I can DEILD. As I transition I can distinctly hear a woman's voice speaking, though she wasn't saying anything memorable. After a while I hear a new voice a man responding, and figure this is a good sign, suggesting that the hynagogic state is deepening toward dream. As soon as I feel like I am fully transitioned, I get out of bed. I remember the task I had intended: the storm TOTM. I go outside, intending to summon it, but the dream does not yet feel stabilized and my surroundings become vague. I retransition and realize that there's no reason I should feel constrained by concepts like "inside" and "outside," and decide to summon the storm from right in my bedroom. I look up at the ceiling and it becomes transparent, so that I can see the sky overhead. It is half-lit, with faint stars and gauzy clouds: I will the clouds to thicken and darken.

After another spell of vagueness, maybe a retransition, I go back outside to see if there is evidence of a storm yet. It is working! There is a patch of very heavy dark clouds overhead. It it not yet a full-blown storm so I work on it a little more. I raise my hands and shout, "Wind!" I am modeling this on the scene from the film Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) where he conjures the clouds so it will get dark faster. I decide to add a little more panache: "WIND AND FIRE!" I yell, still gesticulating at the sky. The clouds are roiling and I do see patches of fire, so when it is sufficiently apocalyptic, I fly directly up into the cloudbank.

The effect is disappointing: I have no real sensory impressions apart from sight, and the visibility is very poor. It is hard to distinguish the greyness inside the clouds from the greyness of unformed dream, except that I notice that the fire has coalesced into vaguely anthropomorphic forms that resemble elementals or demons. Although they are distant and none moves to threaten me, I feel vaguely anxious and start singing to reassure myself. The dream destabilizes and I retransition.

I go outside again, and find myself on a slightly elevated walkway; just below is a middle-aged white guy who seems to be gardening. He looks up at me and says with an air of disappointment: "You can do better than this." I feel as though he is chastising me for summoning the storm, and feel a pang of guilt, although there is no rational basis for this. After entering a building, I look down and notice that I am carrying a phone. It is not a contemporary model but resembles those old Nokias with the small monochrome screens that can render text but not graphics. Distinctly legible on the screen is the word: "SmarKu," a mix of lower-case and capital letters as though it were abbreviated from something. The word intrigues me, so I ask:

"SmarKu, what are you?"

"A phone," it answers simply.

Well, duh. I try rephrasing my question, "I mean, what do you represent?"

"..."

Since the phone seems confused or reluctant to answer, I finally resort to a term I dislike, speaking forcefully for emphasis: "What do you symbolize?"

"A pimp and a whore," retorts the phone with an edge of sarcasm.

I can't help but laugh at the inexplicable rudeness of the reply. What is this, a dream version of Tourette's syndrome?

I retransition and go back outside, running across two gentlemen having a heated discussion. I find their conversation boring and don't make any particular effort to remember it, but this reminds me of the thread (I think it was last month's TOTM) where we were discussing the fact that it feels different to "think" something in a dream versus saying it "aloud," even though it is hard to conceptualize the difference. To test this principle, I comment inwardly on how dull their conversation is, and pay attention to how this manifests. I do not "hear" the words with my dream ears, nor do I seem to "speak" them in my dream voice, so it feels no different from thinking something in waking life. I walk over to them and think it directly in their presence, to see if they will respond: "How dully, sir!" (In retrospect it seems like an odd turn of phrase, but it felt natural at the time.) They do not react to me, so it still feels like a private thought. I decide to try a little experiment: I silently will one of the DCs to say these words aloud for me. Without a moment's hesitation, he pipes up to his companion: "How dully, sir!"

This was so successful that I'm encouraged to try again with the second guy. Mischievously, I select the same words that the SmarKu used earlier. Sure enough, the guy says out of nowhere, "A pimp and a whore." At this point I go right up to him and ask, "What do you mean by that?" I expect him to be confused or uncertain about why he said it, but instead he starts explaining himself. This is really unexpected: he is taking responsibility for the phrase as though saying it were his own idea! All I could think was... so DCs rely on dream logic? I... guess that makes sense.

There is a destabilization, and before my eyes I watch the environment fluctuate from brilliant light and clarity to hazy vagueness. I suspect this is due to my own lack of mental focus, slipping too close to wakefulness again, and I tell myself that I don't have to wake up if I don't want to. Back in my bedroom, I maintain dreamstate through a rough patch by singing again and focusing on sensual impressions. As I sing, it feels like my voice is joined by invisible others, singing with me in harmony. This reminds me of my lucid dare—from last year—which I've never quite completed to my satisfaction.

I go back outside, willing it to be stable. I frame my arms around empty air as though around an unseen person and dance, hoping the invisible owner of one of the voices will manifest. No such luck. I notice a DC standing nearby, a middle-aged black man, and ask him, "Have you seen an elf around here?"

"Yes," he replies. Okay, I realize I might have willed him to say that using my new trick, but if it conditions my expectations into manifesting the damn elf, it will have been worth it.

"Who?" I inquire further, a specific name in mind.

"Thranduil," he says promptly, just as I anticipated.

"Where is he?" I don't have an answer to this one, so I'm hoping he'll say something helpful.

He points behind me. "Right over there."

I turn and look, hoping my expectations are primed enough that he will be visible. Afraid not. As I squint into the distance, the man explains helpfully, "You can just barely see him, in the edge of the forest."

I still don't see him but I'll take his word for it. The man goes on, "If you hurry, you might be able to catch him. The best way is to go left up those stairs."

I follow his instructions, wondering I should summon a horse to cover the ground faster, but I don't want to add unnecessary complexity and figure that on horseback is not the best way to climb stairs anyway. The stairs are very rustic and appealing, constructed of irregularly cut slabs of old grey stone, with small plants growing out of the cracks, and a low stone wall on either side. They turn to the right and continue to ascend. I'm climbing as fast as I can and observe that either the steps are getting smaller or I'm getting bigger, because now I'm covering at least a dozen with each stride, but I'm still only halfway to the forest's edge when I wake up and sense that the dream state is unrecoverable.

In this dream I was standing in a hotel lobby. A beautiful curly, red haired woman walked through the doorway wearing a one piece bathing suit. Bah boom, I’m lucid! I immediately said, “Woo Hoo!” The blonde woman beside looked less than impressed with what I said, but the red haired woman smiled. They were both in their 20’s. She walked past me and said, “Thank you.” Probably my great aunt. Then to my surprise, my mom walked in and I said, “Hi mom, thanks for stopping by! Ah, sorry for saying ‘woo hoo’.” My mom looked at me and said, “What?” The blonde woman spoke up and said, “She didn’t hear what you said.” I really wasn’t at all concerned, because my mom has seen me do much worse, and I was just being polite. Behind my mom was one of her best friends, Doris.

I walked with my mom and Doris into a room off the lobby. It was cluttered with junk, and looked more like a storage area full of very old furniture and belongings. The blonde haired woman and the redhead followed behind us, and then they gradually aged to be in their late 50’s (probably so I wouldn’t be distracted). Doris was looking carefully at the stuff in the room. I put my arm around my mom’s waist and walked around the room checking out the ‘old stuff’. I asked Doris how her son Dave was doing, and she looked momentarily confused, then replied, “Fine.” I felt my lucidity failing, so immediately started to swirl, but I woke up.

I was consciously awake, but my body was asleep. ‘The vibrations’ started, then I leapt to me feet, and I was ‘off to the races’ (OBE). There is a blank in my memory regarding what happened next, but I ended up at our neighbourhood park wearing my CPAP mask, and I was still wrapped in my blanket. I tore all this crap off, and then to my dismay, the only thing I was wearing was my gotch. Right in front of me was the park’s bridge, surrounded by cattails. Out in the cattails was a big barking dog, which suddenly came running straight at me! I felt a bit scared, and then I reminded myself that I was lucid. The dog then turned into a small poodle, and it stood right beside me wagging its tail.

A fire truck then pulled up on the opposite side of the bridge. Three firemen jumped out of the truck and grabbed a coiled up fire hose, and they came running over the bridge, all humped together carrying the hose, and they didn’t even notice me. They ran right past me, and then continued across the park’s field. Where they were going, I had no idea, but there certainly weren’t any fires around here. I thought to myself, “So, this is what firemen dream about.” The little poodle disappeared and a woman appeared on the opposite side of the bridge. I tried to fly to the woman, but I couldn’t get much altitude and I landed on the hill beside her, and then I was back in bed.